Chapter Text
The roil and bellow of smoke is nauseating, the oil-slick aroma permeating everything, masking over the stench of the engines and blood, the sweat of men, acrid exertion and fear. There’s blood down one side of his face, nothing serious, just a small cut at his brow, so fresh that I can imagine the reckless haste with which he tumbled from his ship and earned such a wound.
I almost have to run to catch him, because he’s gotten his balance, figured out which direction to go, and all I want to do is hug him because he’s alive, I’m alive, but I don’t, I catch him, throw my arms over him, haul him to me. I get the fight I expect, but it’s startling all the same.
He’s in my arms like a tantrum-throwing toddler, wild, heartbreaking sounds of panic and pain pouring out of him in the same whisper-soft way as always. I try to pull him together, clasp him to my chest, but he’s so fraught, fighting me so hard, I’m scared that I’ll hurt him. I can’t let him go, I can’t do anything but grab for him, hold him to me, ignore the ineffective kicks and jutting elbows. He’s all limb sometimes, scrawny and furious, it’s lucky he’s so little or this would never work.
“Deimos, stop. You can’t! Deimos!” I can shout because everyone’s shouting, there’s noise all around us. The roar of the ships, the blare of the alarms and sirens, men yelling both chaos and order alike, it’s just a deafening cacophony.
“Deimos, there’s nothing you can do!” One final plea for reason, trying to break through his madness, because otherwise I am going to hurt him just trying to keep him safe, so he can’t go get himself hurt, because I’m constantly struggling to do just that. He gets hurt so easily and never thinks about it, never thinks anyone would care.
It makes him sag again me with a sob, the fight draining out of him with one broken admission of defeat. I catch for him, pull him into my arms without thinking, let him fall against my chest and cry. There’s enough chaos around us that it might go unnoticed, might not get thought of as anything more than what everyone else is doing, so long as I resist the urge to kiss away his flurry of tears.
He’s sobbing so hard, unbearably loud for him, something still so quiet because he’s always quiet. My words have sunk in, making him angry, desolate, I can tell he’s frustrated and scared, he knows there isn’t anything he can do and that’s the worst. I run my hand over the dark shine of his hair, smoothing down the snarl from his helmet, from the battle, like if everything were as easy to fix as these stray locks. We’re both helpless, clung to each other, alive and whole, but it’s a hollow victory.
Across the hanger bay, the Reliant continues to burn.