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Tom had his tongue perched between his teeth, scribbling away at a paper that needed his full focus but somehow couldn’t get even 2% of it at the moment. He grumbled to himself, twirling his academy ring around on his finger as he stood from his new office, moving boxes still stacked all around. The taller blonde couldn’t help but smile as he took in his surroundings though. Breathing in a sigh of relief as he realized he and his girlfriend of 3 years finally had a place of their own, their own bed, couch, bathroom, offices, everything was amazing.
He met her at Top Gun, one of the first female pilots to make the program actually, she and her loud mouthed RIO, Nick Bradshaw, actually made quite the pair.
Tom had to admit, he never really saw himself being with another person in the military, let alone a pilot! Not many women flew nowadays, so it would have been rare nonetheless. Regardless he was happy he found Courtney, especially after learning who her father was, THE Duke Mitchell, it made sense she was behind the stick of a Tomcat. She sure gave Tom a run for his money, snapping back at his challenging remarks and making him work extra hard to earn his spot in the sky.
He could finally breathe though, both he and his better half were now instructing together at Top Gun, they both flew still, but Tom often found himself moreso wrapped up in paperwork as his promotion approached rather than out on the tarmac showing the rookies how it was done like she was.
He obviously couldn’t focus on his paperwork at the given time, so he thought to himself he may as well start to unpack some more. Courtney wasn’t due to be home for at least another four or five hours, he could make himself useful rather than staring at a piece of paper he knew wasn’t going to be solidifying itself in his head anytime soon.
He started with a smaller box, before packing it over to his desk and pulling out his fathers old
Collection of writing pens, setting them up and remembering his fathers words in his ears a month ago when he gave them to him “from one admiral to a future one, these will carry you just fine, just remember to keep your tips sharp!”
His dad knew he was on the way to becoming a one star sometime soon, maybe within the year if he kept up on his hard work! He’d be excited to tell his spitfire of a lady that she was going to be dating (and hopefully marrying) an actual ADMIRAL!
The next box was just labeled “MITCHELL” in Courtney’s familiar scribe, always in all caps, he shook his head in adoration before going through it on autopilot. Putting away smaller things before he grabbed a folder filled with messy papers, reaching out to slide it onto his desk for later, to see what she wanted to do with it before a small yellow folded piece of notebook paper slid out and fluttered to the ground.
Tom wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving it be, if it had not been for what was written on the front.
“Pete” was all it said.
His fingers raced to pick it up, heart beating in his throat as he went through every possibility. “She wouldn’t cheat on me, would she? Maybe Pete is a Cousin or something, maybe an old flame, I shouldn’t read it but….”
He argued in his own head for a good 10 minutes before he took a breath, telling himself that Courtney loved him and would never do anything to hurt him. He was probably overthinking it.
He swallowed, taking a seat on top of the wooden stained oak desk that sit in his new office at home.
And began to read….
“I’m Tired…..
I’m writing this because I want to know that even for a second, I was here, I was real.
I’m leaving for MEPS tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll have to sit there with a bunch of other girls and be the only one not wanting to be a nurse….
I’ll have to sit there and keep my heart rate steady as they ask me questions, confirming that I, Courtney Mitchell, am in fact….a woman.
I’ll have to have my chest poked and prodded at, my legs spread for some doctor just to confirm what I am.
I’ll have to lie through my teeth to achieve my dream of touching the sky.
But just know, he was here, he always will be.
Even if I’ll never be someone’s husband, or father, or brother or son.
Even if I have to accept the fact that I will be someone’s wife….
A mother….
A sister….
A daughter….
He’ll be there, maybe I’ll find a friend there, one who can know and see me for me, one who doesn’t question why I get my hair cut as short as regulations will allow for a female.
Why I chuckle and roughhouse with the best of them when all the guys start to hassle me.
Why my ribs are always sore from sports bras two sizes too small….
Why I always carry an extra pair of socks rolled in on themselves just to make myself feel whole….
I’m here, I’m real, don’t forget me….enjoy our dream, and once that canopy closes just remember, you’re free….
It’s like what Sonny told us years ago…when you’re up there it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, the enemy just sees the American flag and feels anger.
It’s in that moment when the canopy closes that you can be Pete, let him fly and let him guide you….up there, you’re YOU.
Be safe and have fun.
Don’t stop pushing until you can kiss the clouds for us….
Maybe one day the world will be different, one can only hope….
With love, Pete Mitchell <3”
Tom’s throat went dry, and he felt relieved yet confused.
Who was Pete? What did this mean? She never mentioned having a brother and he was 99.99% sure her father’s name was Duke, not Peter….and she was never married to another man right?
“What the fuck” he pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed out. “I know who will know what this means”
————————-
“Tommy! Oh my goodness what a surprise!” The shorter blonde let out a squeal and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a hug.
She radiated warmth, as if liquid sunshine melted into your bones. “Good to see you Carole” he chuckled, “is Nick around?” She nodded, holding the door open so Tom could come in. Before he was attacked by an airborne Bradley, now finally growing into Goose’s lanky likeness, jumping on his back from the couch. “UNCLE ICE!” He hollered, Tom Barely managing to catch him in time as he laughed “baby goose! You’re getting good at your stealth missions” the blonde laughed.
“NICK HONEY! TOM IS HERE TO SEE YOU!” He heard that warm yell that could still turn every head in a room as Goose strode out to meet him in the living room.
“Ice! How’s it going man?” The mustached man smiled, going in for a handshake but then opting for a pat on the shoulder when he noticed the blondes arms were occupied with making sure Bradley didn’t fall to the floor.
“Tom is fine Nick” he laughed, grabbing Bradley and helping him to the floor. “I actually came because I wanted to ask you something….” His voice trailed off and Nick looked a tad worried. “Is my pilot okay?”
“Yeah! No she’s…uhm…she’s fine I just…” he dug into his pocket and pulled out the paper, as soon as yellow hit Nicks eyes he looked shocked and then worried again. “Cmon, let’s head outside” he spoke, Carole gave him a concerned and knowing look as well. “We’ll be back honey”.
The weight in the room felt different as they walked out into the Bradshaws back yard, taking a seat on the comfortable wooden chairs Carole had brought to San Diego from her family back in Tennessee all those years ago. “Beer?”
Ice held up his hand to decline.
“So you found his letter….”
Tom’s eyes shot open, “you know about this?”
Goose nodded….
“So…what….fuck I don’t even know what it means man. You know Courtney better than anyone on the face of the earth! I just….be honest with me man, she’d never cheat on me right?”
It took everything in the mustached man to not spit his beer out of his nose, so his body opted for a light choke and coughing fit instead. “Tommy!” He chuckled through his breathlessness.
“This isn’t funny man! Who is this guy? She writes about him so fucking fondly and though I don’t like to admit it but….it makes me j-“
“Tom, woah woah woah buddy slow your roll there….look, Court- she loves you with her whole heart man, she’d never cheat on you, you have my word….the letter is different” even explaining it made Goose want to shake the words off his tongue. He hadn’t referred to Pete as Courtney in years….but he had to explain it in a way Tom could understand.
Tom looked even more confused. “So what-“
“Do you love her? Do you love my pilot with your whole heart?”
Goose looked serious, a kind of serious Tom had never seen on the goofy man’s face. He swallowed and nodded. “You know I do Nick….shes my everything, I even have a ring for crying out loud!”
“Then listen, and listen closely…..” Nick took a breath and steadied his hand. “Courtney IS Pete….”
“Court is….what? No way! I mean, not to kiss and tell here but I’ve….you know….and it’s not-“
Nick shook his head “no! Goodness Ice for the top of the class you can be a bit dense…think about it for a second….everything you know about her, and then the letter….” Goose’s eyes never left Tom’s face as he thought. When the light bulb clicked on Carole stepped out.
Everything made sense now….
The small sparkle in her eyes when she’d occasionally be mistaken for a man in public at times.
How she was about her hair and always having it cut.
The distain when she thought she had to wear a skirt in her dress whites rather than pants, but the immediate joy when their CO approved her to wear the slacks instead.
How she moved and talked and navigated working with men as well as she did….
“I remember when they passed the new regs for women’s hair, he was finally allowed to get it cut short, got it approved on account of ‘long hair makes for an incorrectly sized helmet, and safety is my number one priority’ and all that” Carole laughed fondly at the memories. “I’d never seen him so excited”
“So you….you two knew? Does Bradley know?”
They shrugged “I mean…kind of and kind of not. He jokingly called him ‘uncle Pete’ one day and then it kind of stuck. We haven’t explained it to him in detail yet, maybe when he’s older” Nick spoke.
“Are you alright sugar?” Carole asked, reaching out her hand to set it on his shoulder. “I know it’s a lot to take in but…we’re here for you”
“No it’s…I mean…I love her-HIM….I love him….and I want to be the best partner I can possibly be….I guess what I’m struggling with the most here is that he didn’t tell me himself, and I had to find out from a letter….”
“Pete wanted to tell you, he really did, for the last two years Tom! That man is head over stupid for you” Nick laughed. “But, his biggest worry was you and your image….he knew you’d been working towards admiral, and being with someone like him? No matter how you’re recognized….Uncle Sam would have issue….plus, all Pete has ever wanted to do was fly, and he’d gladly swallow himself whole and hide away to be able to…. When I first read that letter about a year after I had met him, I genuinely wanted to hold him and just cry for hours. How much can someone want something… That they’re willing to sacrifice who they are entirely to achieve that dream… I know I wouldn’t have the strength to do that, and I wouldn’t want that on my worst enemy. But I have to sit back and watch my best friend make that choice every single day just so that he can dance through the sky…. and it breaks my heart, Tom.”
Tears pricked at Nicks eyes and Carole kissed them away. “That’s….” Tom felt himself choke up a little. Willing away his own sadness and heartache for the love of his life.
“I know what I need to do…thank you guys, for everything….why don’t, why don’t we all do dinner tomorrow night? I’ll handle all the groceries?” Tom offered, to which the two of them lit up.
————————-
The drive home was quiet, and so were the next 3 hours in his office with nothing but his mother’s old medical books and a cup of coffee.
Then the door knob jiggled, and the sound of a voice traveled through the air.
“Tommy! I’m home!” She called, dropping her flight bag by the door, next to Tom’s and unlacing her boots. “Thomas? You up there?”
“In the office sweetheart! Come up here when you get the chance! Got something to show you!”
Her heart always fluttered at the sound of her wingman’s voice, without hesitation she stepped into the office, jaw dropping as she looked at how neat everything was. “Tom, honey it looks…wow….” She stepped out into the center of the room, unaware of what was going on behind her. But when she turned…..that’s when everything stopped…..
Looking down, pristine hair, perfect posture, and a smile that could melt hearts, was currently down on one knee with the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen….a simple silver band, nothing flashy, no gem stones or unnecessary jewels.
Her hands flew to her mouth, gasping as she almost stumbled back. Tom couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Listen here you menace….from the moment I met you at Top Gun all those years ago, I knew that somehow, someway I wanted to be in your life forever, and when you kissed me on that flight line on the Layton I knew exactly what that meant….home, safety, a place where I could come to rest. A place and a pair of arms that I didn’t have to prove anything to, somewhere and with someone I didn’t have to pretend. I didn’t have to be Iceman here, I could simply be Tom. And since then I have come to realize that I want to be the same for you. I promise to love you, and support you, and trust you with my heart, soul and life if you’ll promise me one thing. And that is that you will be the most authentic version of you that you have ever been, knowing that when you walk through those doors, or into my arms that you’re safe, and you’re home”
She was crying now, nodding, hearing his words but nothing could prepare her for the final blow…
“Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell….would you do me the honor of being my husband?”
Pete froze, standing there as he trembled, tears welling in his eyes as his heart leapt into his throat. “Tom….” He felt so small, so flayed open, he collapsed to his knees in front of the blonde and crawled into his arms, being held impossibly tight as he sobbed, feeling terrified and free all at once. “Shhhh….I’ve got you sweetheart, I’m right here okay? I’m not going anywhere….I love you, I love you so much….” He soothed, rubbing small, slow circles on Pete’s back. “I’m so sorry….” Pete whimpered, burying his cries in the soft material of Tom’s old academy hoodie he wore.
“Hey now, none of that okay? You have nothing to apologize for” they were both crying now, holding eachother tight. “I’m the one that owes you an apology, I should have known sweetheart, should have seen it-“
“No….not you, it’s- I’ve practiced hiding it my entire life…Tom it’s not your fault” Pete sniffled into the now wet patch of fabric on the blondes shoulder.
Tom hummed in acknowledgment, before another light bulb came on….“You never answered my question….”
Pete pulled back, vision blurred from tears and he cracked a very wet cough that turned into a smile. “Yes….Tom, yes I would be honored to marry you…..are you still sure you want me though….” He trailed off, the sparkle leaving his eyes once again. “Even after…”
“Hey” Tom’s voice was quiet, calm, comforting….as he always was for the smaller man. “Look at me Pete….”
Hearing his name roll so effortlessly off of Tom’s tongue still sent shivers down his spine. Especially with it being the first time he’d ever heard it.
“Have I ever told you just how handsome you are?” The blondes larger hands held Pete’s face so gently brushing away tears with his thumbs.
Pete was crying again, an absolute mess as he held his fiancé-soon too be husband-s shoulders tight and buried his face into the fabric. “Can I put this on you baby?” Pete nodded, holding out his hand as he realized he was straddling the blondes hips, completely koalaed onto him. When the ring slipped on, he felt like he could finally breathe.
“I’m sorry you had to go through this alone for so long….and I know the world isn’t ready but, when that day comes I’ll be right beside you okay? In our home, and with our friends, all you have to worry about is being you okay? No more pretending. I mean I know you had Nick and Carole and Bradley but, you have me now too. And if any one of the flyboys says anything derogatory I’ll bust them in the face personally. I doubt they will though, they love you too Pete”
“Thank you Tom, really…..I- fuck I love you so much” this time when Pete leaned in to kiss him, both men got a little over excited, mouths slotting together in a show of strength and the ease of their pre-established flow as a couple. When Tom subconsciously pressed his hips up it made Pete whine, pressing his ass back down into it. “I-I’m sorry if it’s too soon, I got ahead of myself and-“
“Tom” Pete chuckled, shaking his head and lovingly patting his fiancé on the cheek. “Don’t think-….just do”