Chapter Text
Well, this was probably the worst 24 hours of Kris’ life. They adventured through a Dark World they didn’t want to make and didn’t want to explore. Not to mention, the Soul took them on a detour that they desperately wanted to erase from their mind.
Then, the morning after they were forced to go to Noelle’s in order to ‘look for clues,’ only to overhear Noelle saying things that hurt them to the core. They knew it was true of course, but that didn’t change how much it stung.
Then they had to deal with the Church Dark World and fight a Titan which wasn’t supposed to happen. Had Carol or the Knight just forget to tell them about the last-minute change to the plan? Or did Susie really just piss her off so much she decided to sic a being of pure darkness on them? Whatever the reason, it was a good thing the Old Man was nearby.
Then Susie saw the ending of the prophecy. As much as she tried to hide it, they could tell, she was terrified. They were too after all.
And finally, after everything they had been through, they had to come home to Toriel drunkenly dancing with that goddamn skeleton from the convenience store. They never liked him, always found him annoying. But now? Now they hated him. Hated him so much that they could start to feel an urge growing in the back of their mind. A dark urge. As it did, Eram’s words repeated themselves over and over in their head;
“WITHOUT PLAY, THE KNIFE GROWS DULL.”
They wrapped the pillow so tightly around their face that they struggled to breathe. They couldn’t sleep. Usually, throwing the Soul out did the trick – but not tonight. Even without IT inside them, they were still hopeless, still without control. Toriel and Sans were playing that god awful music so loud. And they could hear how drunk mum was. They hadn’t seen her so drunk since Asriel left for college. That damn skeleton.
They tossed and turned. Tossed and turned. Tossed and turned. No matter how violently they threw themself about, they weren’t going to get any sleep tonight. It seemed as if the world itself had deemed they didn’t deserve any. They supposed they didn’t. They deserved every bit of misery that came their way. Their throat felt tight and they could feel something trickle down across their face. Were they crying? They really were pathetic.
Just as the crescendo from downstairs grew impossibly loud, a voice from outside shut them up. They couldn’t make out what was being said due the how fiercely they were clutching the pillow over their head, but even still, they could easily make out whose voice it was. It was Susie’s voice.
Kris gingerly removed the pillow. Now, instead of it being uncomfortably loud, it was deafeningly quiet. Susie spoke again, but they still couldn’t make out what she was saying. They slithered off their bed and crept towards the windowsill.
She was out there, all on her own in the dark cold night. Her back was to the house, head held low. Seconds felt like eternity until she spoke up again.
“…We… aren’t gonna let that happen… right?” she asked as she looked over her shoulder. They couldn’t tell if she could see them. They didn’t know what to say. Then it started raining. Hard. She let her head drop again as she trudged away, shoulders heavy under the ceaseless rain. Kris felt an aching pain in their chest as she started to leave. They couldn’t leave her like this. They needed to check on her.
They firmly pressed their hands onto the windowsill. They gritted their teeth as they propped themselves up. Even the most mundane of actions, felt gruelling without the Soul inside them. They stood there for a second, gathering the courage to see their friend, when their phone lit up behind them. They felt a cold chill run up their spine. Ploddingly, they tilted their head towards the phone.
…Kris…
…don’t forget, Kris…
…you promised.
They felt like throwing up. The message was obvious. In order for the plan to work, they couldn’t get too close to Susie. She was never meant to be their friend. She was never meant to be anything. If their bond became too strong, the plan might just fail, which Kris couldn’t allow to happen. After all, they promised to fulfill it, no matter the cost.
They let one leg sink back into the room as they let out a heavy breath. They had never felt so hopeless and so worthless in the entirety of their cursed existence.
When suddenly, Kris saw a light in the corner of their eye. Dim and red but bright enough for them to see. After being motionless for minutes, the Soul was eagerly bouncing around the cage, desperately trying to attain their attention. They scoffed. Did that thing really except Kris to just put IT back in at this time. They couldn’t be bothered with ITS nonsense, not this time.
“Leave me alone.” they said, their voice was weak and scratchy. But as Kris began to make their way back into bed, something unusual happened.
Now that the Soul had gotten Kris’s attention, IT’s movements changed rapidly. IT had gone from sporadically bouncing around just a second ago, to now, making a single precise movement. IT tilted itself so that the bottom end of the Soul was pointing towards the window. Then, repeatedly began moving back and forth rigidly, always pointing at the window. Kris raised an eyebrow.
“Are you… pointing towards the window?” they asked wearily. No response. IT just kept doing the same thing over and over. Kris groaned. They forgot that neither of them seemed to be able to hear the other. They yanked their drawer open and began frantically digging around until they found a sheet of paper and a pencil. Like all their others, it had been borrowed from Noelle. Even without their soul inside them, they felt a throbbing pain in their chest at the thought of her. They shook it off, more important things to deal with.
They sunk onto their knees and shuffled over to the cage and began hectically writing.
“Are you pointing towards the window?” was the question they had wrote down. Their writing was scruffier than usual due to how quickly they’d written it, but they didn’t care. They tapped on the cage, which pulled the Soul out of its trance. They still didn’t understand how IT could hear when Kris did things, but not their actual voice. Hopefully it wouldn’t stay like this.
They held the sheet of paper up to the cage. The Soul remained still a second as it read the quandary before rapidly moving up and down. Well, that was pretty clearly a yes. Kris wrote another question down on the other side of the paper.
“Do you think I should go to Susie?” was what it read. Again, the Soul spent a second reading it before excitedly bouncing up and down. That answer was even more enthusiastic than the previous one.
Kris let the paper slip out of their grip and rested their hands on their knees. Well, the Soul thought they should go check on Susie. But why should Kris give a damn what that thing thought? IT had only ever been a nuisance at best, or an active danger at worst. It was only last night that IT had almost killed Susie. She would’ve been dead if Kris hadn’t pulled her out of the way. But now it was telling them to go check on her.
They began thinking. Even if Susie had almost died, the moment after between the two was surprisingly intimate. They had never been that close to her before. The way she stared at them and the way she softly uttered their name in that moment. It made Kris realise something they had tried to ignore for a while.
They thought some more. A couple of hours before that, when Susie had asked who Kris wanted to go to the festival with, much to their surprise, the Soul had picked the option they wanted to go with: Susie. And even earlier than that back in Cyber World. When pressed with who to give the gift to, it chose Susie again.
Was IT trying to bring the two closer together, trying to defy fate? Or did IT just want Susie to be ITS friend? That thought made them feel nauseous. For now at least, they wouldn’t have to worry about IT, because they were going on their own.
“I’ll go after her, but not because you told me to, got that?” they asked firmly. No response. Again, Kris groaned.
“Whatever.” they said as they stood up. They couldn’t be bothered writing that last sentence down.
With a newfound determination, they marched towards the windowsill and propped themselves up once more. Carol, the Soul, Dess — even. They could all be damned. Even if Kris couldn’t tell her the full story, they were going to see her. They were going to see Susie. They took a breath and leaped out into the pouring rain.
Kris felt a spasm in their left ankle as they landed. They hissed. Their breathing was laboured and heavy. Without the Soul, exploring Hometown in order to find Susie would be tiresome work. But work they were determined to achieve all the same. Steadily, they stood upright. The rain was crashing down on them and it wouldn’t be long until they were completely soaked, but they didn’t care.
Kris had never actually seen where Susie lived but they had a pretty good idea. She always started to act weird whenever they walked around the apartments. When they went over there yesterday after the Cyber World, she said something interesting;
“We’re going to your house right?”
And about half an hour earlier when they went there she said something again;
“Let’s go to your house.”
Not to mention that in the alleyway beside those buildings was the bowl of milk Susie always talked about.
Kris was almost certain that was where she lived, but that didn’t exactly narrow it down. Most of Hometown’s small population lived in those cramped apartment buildings, and she could’ve lived in any number of rooms on any number of floors. They supposed they’d just have to ask someone. But who would be up at this hour? Just then, Kris thought of an answer.
Berdly was the only person who lived in the apartments that Kris really knew. At this time on a weekend that annoying blue bird would almost certainly still be up. They dug around in their back pocket trying to find their phone. Crap. They left it back in the bedroom. Climbing back up under these slippery conditions would take far too much time and far too much effort. They supposed they’d just have to go to Berdly directly.
They fast-walked over to the apartment structure in record time. With every step, Susie was on their mind. They didn’t even know what they were going to say to her, just that they had to say something. They walked around the side until they came across the old iron fire escape that zigzagged all the way to the top. It let out an unpleasant creak as Kris crept along it. Due to the wetness, they were moving much slower than they preferred. There was an echoing clang with every step, it felt slick beneath them. After what felt like an eternity they made it to the roof.
They rushed over to the rooftop entrance. Without wasting a second, they retrieved a paperclip from their front right pocket and got the door open in an impressively short time. It was second nature at this point.
Their shoes squelched against the cheap carpets as they strode through the dimly light hallways. Even though they had been here more times than they cared to admit to play games with Berdly, this whole building still felt alien to them.
Thanks to muscle memory they arrived at Berdly’s flat in good time. Kris peeked through the keyhole. The lights were off. Again, they took the paperclip out and began picking the lock. This was only the second time they had broken into Berdly’s place so the process took longer, but they got there eventually. Just as they were about to enter, they thought to themselves for a second before they slid their brown dress shoes off. Wouldn’t want to get the carpet in his place wet. With that out of the way, they delicately pushed the door so that it was just barely wide open enough for them to slip in.
They steadily inched their way towards Berdly’s bedroom, his door was slightly cracked open, there was a blinding light peeking out from the other side. Yep, he was gaming alright. Knowing Berdly he had his headphones in, which meant that Kris wouldn’t have to be too cautious about making noise. They gingerly reached out and pressed their sweaty palm against his door. As they did, guilt gripped them tightly. They didn’t want to get Berdly involved in any of this. Annoying as he was, he was a good friend. However, the urge to make sure Susie was okay soon overpowered them. They shook the guilt off. There were more important things at hand.
Without further ado, they flung his door open in a single swift moment. Even with the protection of their bangs, their eyes stung. How the hell could Berdly deal with this. Through the blinding light they could make out Berdly sitting at his knockoff gaming chair in front of his PC. They marched forward, swivelled the chair around and clamped the birds beak shut before he could wake the entire building up. Kris raised a finger to their own lips, signifying for him to stay quiet. Slowly, they released their grip.
“Kris! Great heavens! What in the blue blazes do you thi—“ before Berdly could finish quietly shouting his rather reasonable question, Kris clamped their beak shut once more. He crossed his arms in frustration and pouted as Kris slowly released their grip once more. The bird sighed.
“What are you doing Kris? My mother shall execute both of us promptly if she finds you breaking and entering again. Especially at this time.” he said in a calmer tone.
“Need your help.” Kris stated in a monotone voice. Berdly cocked an eyebrow before recalling their earlier phone call.
“Ah, let me guess, Kris, machinations for tomorrow’s festival? I already told you, it’s every gamer for themselves. You don’t seriously expect me to help you in courting Susan or my beloved Noelle, do you?”
Kris gritted their teeth. Usually, they found Berdly’s odd way of speaking endearing (not that they’d ever tell anyone that of course) but tonight, of all nights, it was simply annoying.
“Where’s Susie’s flat? Need to talk.” they stated stiffly. An annoyingly smug grin was plastered across Berdly’s face.
“So, it seems you have decided to choose Susan in the game of love. I must admit, I don’t blame you Kristopher. A butch tsundere gamer girl like does have a certain ap—“
“Please? It’s an emergency.” Kris interrupted. Their voice was tired and soft and weak. Berdly’s smugness vanished at an instant upon seeing the clear worry on Kris’ face.
“Ah, I suppose it is. I-it must be if you’re visiting me at this ungodly hour. W-well, if you must know, she’s on the first floor, room number 7.”
“Thanks.” Kris blurted out as they swiftly turned on their heels and made their way.
“T-tell her I said hello.” Berdly said just before Kris left.
Kris practically ran through the building as they made their way to the first floor. They were probably waking one or two people up, but they didn’t give a damn. Once at the first floor they frantically checked the number on every door until they found it. Door number 7. Their breathing was heaving – they really shouldn’t be pushing themself this much in such conditions, but again, they didn’t give a damn.
They spent what felt like an eternity gathering themself before they timidly knocked. Nothing. She was probably asleep. They knocked slightly louder. Nothing. She was a deep sleeper after all.
“Susie?” they called. Their voice was so weak. Nothing. They shouldn’t be doing this, it made them a bad friend, but worry was overriding reason. They picked the lock.
The sight that greeted Kris was depressing. Just three rooms. A bathroom, which was filthy, a kitchen, which looked like it hadn’t been used at all, and a bedroom. It was desolate bare a Godzilla poster and a single chair in the middle of the room. Kris felt a pit in their stomach looking upon it. Had she really been living in such terrible conditions since she moved here? No wonder she was so jealous of them when they first met. Kris felt like a hypocrite for hating their home.
They felt tears forming in their eyes, but rapidly rubbed them away. No. They still needed to find her – still needed to see if she was okay. Just before they left, they looked back at the chair one last time. It made them uneasy. It felt weirdly nostalgic. It reminded them of… no, they weren’t going to think about that creature. Not now. They left.
As they stepped back outside, they noticed the rain had let up slightly. That was a relief. As it softly landed on their thick hair, they wondered about where Susie could be. There were only two realistic options; Castletown or… the bench. Kris chuckled to themself. They felt like an idiot for not going there first. They shook it off and began heading over. Soon, they were running again.
Just a couple minutes later they were there. The church loomed over them, as it did the rest of hometown. As they looked ahead and beyond the tombstones, they saw her, curled up on the bench. They found her.
Kris trepidly approached. Their breath was heavy and their forehead sweaty. Even now, as they approached her, they had no idea what on Earth they would say to Susie. A selfish part of them just wanted to tell her everything. About the Soul, about the Knight, about everything. But at this time, they didn’t know if they had the energy, urgency, or conviction to tell her such things. They felt like a damn coward. They were a damn coward.
As they got closer, they noticed something. They could see Susie’s mouth slowly moving up and down. She was talking to the bench. As they got closer still, they started to make out words;
“I know I only just met you today, but I miss you so much. Old man? How am I supposed to go on? I know what you said, about me having a white pen or whatever. But, I don’t… I don’t know if I’m good enough to use it.”
Kris felt like they were listening in on something that wasn’t their business. They should make themselves known.
“Susie?” they quietly called. Without the Soul, their voice was so much weaker. So squeaky and fragile. They themself could hardly hear. Not hearing them, Susie continued her monologue,
“I just want things to go back to how they were. But even how things were wasn’t great. I guess I wish things could be the same but just… better. Ralsei could come to Hometown. Heh, do our homework. And you, you could be our teacher. If you were my teacher, I might actually try in class. I know you’d be better than Miss Alphys, she’s hopeless.”
“Susie?” Kris called again, actively trying to put more power into their voice. It seemed to do the trick. Susie swiftly sat up and turned towards them.
“Kris?! I, uhhhhh, I thought, umm—“ She couldn’t get her words out, not knowing what to say. Her face kept switching between a mix of surprise, happiness, frustration and sombreness. Until eventually, she dipped her head so that Kris couldn’t see.
“…Go home, Kris.” was all she said, her voice was stern, yet had a hint of indecisiveness to it. Kris remained resolute, if not uneasy. They hadn’t come all the way here just to go back empty-handed. They swallowed.
“No.” was all they could muster. Something that sounded like a bellowing sound came from Susie as she snarled.
“Now isn’t a good time, Kris. Just.. you should just go home. You… you need to get some sleep.” Her voice trailed off, as much as she tried to hide it, Kris could tell she was just concerned. Besides, if she wasn’t getting any sleep, why should they? They stepped closer.
“I’m not going anywhere. Want to, no. Need to talk.” they said breathlessly. This conversation felt both mentally and physically exhausting. Susie’s face twisted into a look of irritation and vexation before she gave up. She let out a heavy sigh. Wordlessly she patted a spot on the bench beside herself. Kris practically collapsed onto it. Susie looked down. Kris looked away.
Every second felt like an hour as neither spoke. Even if it had calmed down, the rain was still pitter pattering down onto the two. Since they had become friends, Kris and Susie had often spent time together in silence. Whenever they had went to the lake, neither of them usually uttered a word. Usually, the silences they shared were peaceful. This one was just painful. Anxiety-inducing.
Susie let out another heavy sigh as she rested her head in her hands.
“Why did you come here? You just wanna see me talking to a bench like a weirdo?” she asked, voice brimming with self-loathing. Kris made a sound as they tried to speak, but anxiety gripped them like a vice as a thousand thoughts swirled in their mind.
“Did you want to say something or not?” Susie asked. Kris closed their mouth, breathed in, and slowly breathed out.
“Are you okay? I’m worried.” was what they ended up deciding to say. No matter how many clashing thoughts they had in their head, their concern for Susie was never in doubt.
She scoffed in response.
“Well you’re the one who walked in on me babbling to a bench like a wackjob, you tell me how you think I’m doing.” she sneered, her voice snappy and aggressive. Kris looked away, then looked down.
“Hey.” Susie said after a brief pause. Kris looked back at her.
Her face had relaxed a touch and her expression softened. She timidly reached out and placed a hand on their shoulder. Even in the rain, and even though she was cold-blooded, her touch brought nothing but warmth.
“Sorry. I’ve never been good at, like, talking about emotions and stuff. I mean, I must be if I’m resorting to using some old bench as a therapist, right?” she asked as she let out a self deprecating chuckle. Kris didn’t laugh, nor smile.
“S’my fault. Shoulda warned you.” they said quietly. Their voice, their real voice, was deadpan. Nasally. Weak. From the look on Susie’s face, it was clear she wasn’t used to hearing their real voice. Of course she wasn’t. She was used to hearing ITS voice. They could tell she wanted to mention it, but she seemed to ignore it. For now.
“How? You were just being a good friend and checking up on me. I’m the one who acted like a jackass.” she said. Kris fiercely shook their head. She groaned before electing to give them a soft slap on the side of the head.
“You should be kinder to yourself, moron.” she said teasingly. Hearing those words coming from Susie made them think. They didn’t deserve kindness; they knew they didn’t. But if Susie was saying they did, then maybe, just maybe, they actually did.
“Perhaps.” they muttered.
“Good, think on it for me, would ya?” she asked, they nodded. She ruffled their hair and swung their head around in the process. Her hand was so massive, she could fit Kris’ head in the palm of her hand. That made Kris feel weird — in a good kind of way.
Silence began to fall upon the two again, but this time it was more akin to the comfortable silences they were used to. Kris decided to speak again not long after however.
“So, are you okay?” they just about managed to ask. Susie looked over at them, down at the ground, back at them, then at the ground once more.
“…No.” she said. Kris could tell it took a lot of effort just to say that. Their hand gingerly reached out as they thought of rubbing her shoulder, but they rapidly retracted it when she shuffled.
“You–you don’t have t—“ Kris tried to say, but Susie promptly cut them off.
“Nah, screw that. You came all the way out here, didn’t you? You deserve the truth.” she said, not knowing that her words were like daggers to Kris. How badly they wished they could return that sentiment. If Susie were to look at Kris, she’d see their eyes tearing up.
“The truth is, I’m scared Kris. So, goddamn, scared. For a while it felt nice, thinking that I was some kind of hero. But now? It’s all I can think about. There’s so much pressure on me, on all of us. To do something. To save the world. I… I don’t know if I want to, at least not the way the prophecy wants me to. Does that make me a coward? How can I be a hero if I’m afraid of stepping up when it matters? I… I really care for Ralsei, and Lancer, and all the other darkners we’ve met along the way. But after fighting that Titan and seeing what the prophecy has waiting for us? A small, selfish part of me wishes I never went into that closet. Even if it meant I didn’t grow as a person. Even if it meant… we didn’t get closer.”
Her voice was starting to crack and waver. Kris felt their throat tighten just listening to her. Suddenly, she turned to them and clasped their hands in hers. She was looking directly at them. The wind blew her hair to one side. The tears in her eyes gave them a sparkle they didn’t normally have.
“Kris. If… if something happens to either of us before this is over, there’s something I want, no, need to say.” she said. Her voice was soft and trembling. Kris knew what she was going to say, and they didn’t want her to say it.
“I’m so, so sorry, Kris. For how I used to treat you. For months, I, I was the biggest jerk to you. I threatened you more times than I can count. Said things that I’ll never forgive myself for. And despite everything, you’ve always been nice to me. It hurts Kris. I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve you. You should hate my guts for what I did to you. I know I do.”
Her eyes were like a dam about to burst at any second. Kris could tell how hard she was trying to keep the tears in, but she couldn’t hold on much longer. They didn’t know if they could hold on much longer.
“I forgive you.” they said in a choked voice. Her lips pursed at those words. She looked away, then back to them.
“Stop it, Kris. Stop being you.” she said despairingly, desperately. Those words hit her harder than she could’ve known. Kris wanted nothing more than to be themself.
“It’s okay to cry.” they managed to say. Those words broke her. She collapsed into Kris’s chest as she began to silently sob. She sniffled and coughed and cleared her throat. Even now she was trying to suppress her emotions. Kris loosely rested their arms atop her back.
“I’m here for you.”
Now she was really crying. She weeped without restraint as she tightly wrapped her large arms around Kris’s waist. So tightly it hurt a little, but they didn’t mind.
Seeing her beneath them, being so vulnerable, so open, so herself. It stung for Kris. It felt nice that she felt comfortable being open with them like this, but a pessimistic thought in the back of their mind told them it wasn’t them she was comfortable with. Even if the Soul was locked away in the bird cage, IT was still the one Susie was familiar with. She was friends with IT. Not them.
Kris fiercely shook their head and tried to focus on helping Susie. They increased the strength of their own embrace as they stifled a tear. The stronger they held her, the more openly and freely she cried into their sweater. And the more she cried into their sweater, the more they had to hold back their own current of emotions.
“I’m so scared Kris!” she said as she continued to bawl. Kris couldn’t hold it back anymore. Even if it was selfish, they couldn’t control it any longer.
“I’m scared too!” they whimpered out as they gave in to the urge and allowed the tears to flow. They kneeled down and started crying as the tears dripped down their cheeks and onto the back of Susie’s jacket. How could they be so weak in a moment when Susie, their greatest friend, needed them? They were the one who didn’t deserve her. They didn’t deserve her for so many reasons. Reasons they were too weak to even tell her.
Susie sat up a little as she readjusted her grip on Kris, moving her arms up their back and embracing them in a hold that was even stronger than before. Without letting the tears stop, she managed to speak.
“Then let’s be scared together, okay?” she said as tears and snot poured down her face. Kris couldn’t even get out a response, their voice was too weak. Instead, they answered by crying harder, and holding more tightly. They held onto as if she were the last good thing in their life. As if, if they were to let go, they’d fall someplace dark and deep and never return. At that hour of the day, Hometown was completely silent bar the squeaking of bugs, the soft song of the wind, and the desperate cries of two people who, to each other, were a rock they knew they could rely on.
The two continued to hold each other as the tears gradually dried up and then, they held each other a little while longer. They were both cold, and tired, and wet, and uncomfortable in a dozen other ways, but the feeling of the other embracing them was more than enough to counteract that.
Eventually however, both began to gradually pull away from each other, as if they had a mutual understanding. That understanding being that they wanted to look into the eyes of the other. Wordlessly, Susie carefully reached out and used her claws to part Kris’s hair. Her eyes were almost as red as theirs from all the crying. Unconsciously, she gradually began to hold their face in her hands. Her smile was small and pensive, but a smile all the same.
As Kris gazed at her beauty which shimmered in the glistening moonlight, they felt a strange feeling bubbling from within. That being, that no matter what were to happen from this point forth, in regard to the Soul, or the Knight, or the Roaring, or anything else. Kris had an unmistakable feeling that Susie would remain that truest friend through to the very end. Even if it was foolish and unrealistic to think such things in the gravity of their situation, Kris gladly accepted such a belief.
Susie’s smile shined brighter.
“There’s that smile I missed. Wish I got to see it more.” she softly whispered. Kris let out a weak chuckle.
“I could say the same.” they said in their usual, monotone voice. Susie hummed.
“I guess we’ll just have to smile more often for each other or something.” she said with a teasing grin.
“Promise?” they asked.
“Pinkie promise.” she said as she extended her right pinkie finger. Kris eagerly took it and shook her hand.
“I’m… I’m still scared. But when I’m with you, I feel like that’s okay. Because I feel like if we stick together, things will work themselves out somehow.” Kris said with a hint of hesitation. Susie hummed again.
“Yeah, I know what you mean man. I haven’t really thought about it, but we killed a fucking Titan dude! We’ve got this!” she roared suddenly, getting excited by her own words.
“…Yeah.” was all Kris responded with, a small smile on their face.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to them. Through everything with the Titan and coming home, Kris, and probably Susie they imagined, had completely forgot that tomorrow was the Festival. Hometowns once a year extravaganza. And of course, everything that was going to happen afterwards. Everything… with their dad.
“Festival’s tomorrow.” they suddenly blurted out, matter of factly.
Susie’s face briefly perked up, before turning slightly sour as a frown tugged at her lips.
“Oh yeah. With everything going on, I kinda forgot about it.” she said solemnly, kicking at some dirt. Kris could see her eyes darting to one side as another as she tried to think of something to say. Eventually she spoke up again;
“Hey, I was thinking. I know what I said earlier about having to find something tomorrow, and I meant that. But, maybe, maybe we can still enjoy the festival tomorrow? At least for a little bit. Who knows, maybe if we stick around we’ll find some more clues.” she said, trying to sound as optimistic as possible. Kris looked at her and forced a smile. She scoffed
“Pfft, don’t bother faking it Kris. I can tell when you’re smiling for real. I know you dude.” she said as she gave them a soft punch in the shoulder.
Kris smiled more genuinely this time, but it was a bitter smile. They wanted to enjoy the festival, but they knew they wouldn’t be able to. Because all they’d be thinking about is what comes after. Dad, and the dark world in his flower shop.
Either way, they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the Festival even if they wanted to. Susie and Noelle were going together and desperate as they were to go with someone, Berdly was not an option. Which meant that, just like last year, they’d be going alone. Or worse, with Toriel. And if they went with Toriel, that probably meant they’d have to go with Sans. Their grip on the bench tightened slightly.
As they tried to distract their thoughts from that stupid skeleton. Something worse entered their mind.
Noelle.
Every time they thought of her, a horrible aching pain spread through their chest. A selfish part of them just wanted things to go back to how they were. Kris and Azzy going over to the Holiday manor almost every day to meet Elly and Dess. The four of them mucking around and doing stupid stuff.
But those days were long gone. Dess was long gone. At least, the Dess they loved was long gone. All thanks to them. They didn’t deserve the good old days back. Perhaps, the good old days weren’t even all that good. Like Noelle herself said;
“We’re just neighbours so, I mean… we just… ended up seeing each other a lot. That’s all.”
Hearing those words replay in their mind made that horrible feeling in their chest bubble up again. They knew it was true. They knew they didn’t deserve to even consider the idea of Noelle being her friend anymore.
So why did her words hurt them so much?
“Hello? Earth to Kris?” Susie said as she waved a hand in front of their face. That snapped them out of their stupor.
“There you are. You were spacing out for like a good minute. You good dude?” she asked, her voice nothing but earnest and sincere. As they stared into her eyes, a horribly selfish idea popped into their head. But try as they might they couldn’t shake it. Well, there was no Soul to stop them, perhaps it would be okay.
“Could we go to the Festival tomorrow? T-together I mean?” they asked, using all their strength in order to do so. They visibly defeated after asking.
They looked down at the ground for just a second or two. Silence. Why hadn’t she answered yet? They couldn’t bear it. They dared to steal a glance her way.
The look on her face was one of utter befuddlement. Seeing her bewildered state filled Kris with naught but trepidation. Why was she so confused? Did she not hear their question? They didn’t know if they could muster the strength to ask such a thing again, yet they cleared their throat all the same.
“Did you not hear—“
“I thought we were already going?” she clarified. Now it was Kris’s turn to be completely stupefied.
“…You did?”
“…Duh?”
Silence. Neither of them knew what to say for a moment. Kris took a breath.
“I thought… I thought you were going with Noelle?”
Again, Susie looked at her cross-eyed.
“I am? I’m going with both of you. Why wouldn’t I?” she asked. Kris itched behind their ear. They were certain they heard Susie gloating to Carol about how she was taking her daughter to the festival tomorrow, but perhaps they misunderstood. Did she mean them too when she said that?
“Oh.” was all Kris could say after a prolonged silence.
“Moron.” Susie grumbled.
As Kris sat there and digested what they had just heard, a swirl of emotions brewed within themself. The thought of going to the Festival with Susie was nice… more than nice. And they did want to selfishly spend more time with Noelle. But wouldn’t it be awkward? She obviously didn’t consider them a friend anymore. And anyone with half a brain could tell how much Susie and Noelle enjoyed each other’s company. And knowing Elly she had probably assumed Susie was practically asking her on a date when she said that to Carol. They couldn’t help but feel like they’d just be a third wheel. Just like they were at the Holiday manor earlier…
“Susie?”
“Yeah?”
“What if… I shouldn’t go with you?” they asked timidly. Yet again Susie gave her a funny look.
“Are you, like, trying to confuse me or something?”
It took a while for Kris to find their words, but Susie waited patiently. Even if she was confused, she wasn’t putting any pressure on them to hurry up.
“…Maybe Noelle wouldn’t like it?”
“…Why would she not like it?”
“…I think, she thinks, you two are going alone. I think, that’s what she wants.”
Susie gave them a suspicious look. She hummed to herself in thought.
“Why would she not want you to come? Aren’t you two…” she stopped as she considered what to say, “…friends?”
Kris looked dejectedly at the floor.
“Just neighbours.” they said in a depressed tone. So quiet they could barely hear themself. Susie never let up with her suspicious looks. Why? Wasn’t it obvious Noelle didn’t like them?
“Yeah well, either way you’re coming. Since we kicked King’s butt we’ve been glued to the hips and it’s staying that way. If Noelle doesn’t like that, then tough luck.” she huffed.
Kris couldn’t help but smile. Susie was too good for them. They didn’t deserve her. Or Noelle. Or much else for that matter. But if the world was going to give Kris such a good friend, give them one reprieve from their miserable existence, they would take it. No matter how selfish that was.
They looked up at the night sky. Grey, gloomy clouds stretched far and wide. But every so often, they would be a crack in their formation, allowing the stars to sprinkle through.
“Hope the weather doesn’t look like this tomorrow.” Kris said.
“Yeah.” Susie said.
Kris felt like they could sit here all night. Even though they were still cold and wet and tired, and the view wasn’t all that much, it felt like the most captivating thing they had ever seen. Thanks to who they were sharing it with.
“It’s getting late, we should both head home.” Susie said grimly. Kris let out a sad sigh as a response. Of course, all good things have to end.
Kris stood up, but as soon as they did they felt themself leaning forward. Too far forward. Soon enough they were toppling over and crashed onto all fours. A painful emptiness in their chest. Susie hurried over and knelt down, holding their shoulders.
“K-Kris? What happened?” She asked, voice brimming with alarm. Of course. Taking the Soul out for so long wasn’t a good idea, especially when they had already done so earlier. But they couldn’t tell Susie that, not even after how vulnerable they had been with each other.
“Tired… Dark World… exhausting.” the words struggled to leave their mouth. They felt like falling asleep right here in the dirt. They also felt like dirt for still lying to Susie. She sighed.
“You should’ve just stayed in bed, idiot.” she snarled, but the worry shined through.
“H-here.” she said sheepishly as she did something that surprised both of them.
Without saying another word, she easily scooped Kris’ small physique off the ground and held them in her arms. She held them like how a husband would carry his bride at a wedding.
Her cheeks were bright red as she looked straight ahead and promptly began the long march back to Kris’s home. Their cheeks were also bright red.
“I will kill you if you ever tell anyone about this ever.” she barked through gritted teeth. Her warning made them feel strangely warm.
Despite how small Hometown was, the walk back truly did feel like it took forever. Kris didn’t know if that was good or bad. Soon enough however, the two had arrived before the door, to which Susie swiftly stopped.
“Need help getting back in your room?” she asked, not looking at them. The answer was an obvious yes, but Kris couldn’t risk her seeing the Soul.
“No.” they answered, but before they could finish their short response, Susie had already ungracefully dropped them onto the floor. Kris let out a grunt as their butt hit cold wet concrete.
They got up and dusted themselves off and looked towards the window, wondering how they would get inside in their tiresome state.
“Bye.” she said timidly as she turned around and rapidly began walking home. But she wouldn’t make it far.
“Susie?” Kris called timidly. Susie stopped dead in her tracks, let out a heavy sigh, turned around and swiftly walked back towards them.
“What.” she growled.
Kris pointed towards the window.
“Throw me.” they demanded flatly. She looked to the side as a flush spread across her face.
“Fine.” she pouted.
Without saying anything else, she grabbed the back of Kris’ sweater firmly, before adjusting her hold so that she her hand was on the centre of their back. She really did make them feel small. Kris hated that they liked that.
She closed one eye and stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth as she took aim. Kris could feel her arm tensing as she readied the launch.
“See you tomorrow, dork.” she whispered before gracefully hurling them upwards.
Kris smoothly breezed through the open window before crashing into the carpet.
“Ouch.”
“Yes, bullseye! Sweet dreams Kris!” Susie shouted as her voice rapidly faded.
Kris laid still for a moment, due to both the mental and physical exhaustion. They let out ragged breaths. Before they could think, a faint light flickered in the corner of their eye.
…Kris…
…don’t bother, Kris…
…she isn’t your friend...
…she never will…
…because I am.
Kris felt the fight drain out of them. Lethargically, they crawled over to the cage. Their every breath was raspy and meek. Soon enough they scooped the Soul out of the cage. They held IT in their hand tightly. So tightly that it hurt. Then, their grip weakened.
“Whatever.”
They plunged IT back into themself.
End of Part 1