Work Text:
Her eyes follow the glowing moth flying through the hallway with all the attention her mind allows her.
The orange, cylindrical, and empty container in her hands falls to the floor, making no sound that could reach her.
Her ears hear it, of course, but her brain fails to process it, too occupied with many other things. Or maybe it was simply too numbed to do anything. A simple observer could not know.
Even she could not know.
It's a feeling she's already familiar with, though. Familiar from spiked coffee mugs, from chloroform pressed against her nose, from laced meals, from failed attempt upon failed attempt to take her away, to a place where they could either use her brain for even more than it was already used or completely destroy it.
From blood dripping down large cuts on her arms, caused by the person she'd tried to help the most.
From pills upon pills spilled from that same container that had just fallen to the floor.
It's a feeling she revels in. Mind blank, woozy smile stuck in her face as she walks down, following the moth in its path. Her pupils are wide, eyes unfocused, and her hands are holding onto the walls so she can balance.
It's something she couldn't let go of. This perfect state of bliss where she needs to care for nothing.
It's the closest Levia Barisol will ever get to heaven.
"I don't understand why you'd go against us like that."
Luna stopped in her tracks at Levia's words.
"What do you mean?"
"You just... Have no reason to. Why would you oppose the most game-like thing possible? What is better than a game where the protagonist gets the gods' assistance? Those are your favorite kind. Plus, it'd be a good way to keep the new humans from acting on their Malice, while also leading them down a better path than what the Second Period was going through before the start of HERS. It's a perfect solution."
"...I guess that's true. But there's one thing you got wrong, Via. It's far from perfect, and it's not even good. How can we trust that things will go well if we do it that way?"
Levia huffed. "We'll make sure they do. You and I could work together for it. 'Even if the whole world went against us, we could still overcome everything as long as we're together', isn't that what you like to say?"
"It's a different matter this time, Levia."
"What? Are you saying you don't trust the others? They don't matter nearly as much-"
Luna stopped in her tracks.
"I said it's a different matter."
What is it, then?! Is..." Levia gritted her teeth. A sudden realization came upon her, and her anger began to grow, overtaking any other possible emotion. "Is it me that you don't trust?!"
"Levia, shut up." Luna's tone was suddenly... harsh, angry. "Just... leave me alone for now, will you?"
Her tone had become softer at the end, but Levia still took an instinctive step back, simply nodding before walking away with her head down.
---
How dare she?
She's building up distance.
She'll leave you.
Of course she will.
You'll be alone.
All alone.
You've already lost one friend, and now another.
Is this really how you want to live...?
She wouldn't break all the promises she made to me.
...Would she?
If she'll leave anyways, why not just get rid of her already?
Yes.
Give everything over.
Give everything over to your feelings.
Give everything over to yourself.
Give everything over to your ma-
---
Another pill swallowed.
The bottle was already nearly halfway through.
It didn't matter, though. As long as she could keep things at bay, she'd be fine.
She had to be fine.
Or else everything, all that work...
It'd all go to ruins.
Something suddenly grabs her hand.
"Levia." A familiar voice calls out. She cannot focus on the person's face, but she knows exactly who it is.
No one else in the spaceship would wear such a tasteless maid dress.
"Behemoooo... Theeeeere you areeee..." Her words are dragged out and interrupted by what seem like crazed giggles, smile wide. "Heeey, why's this place so... shaaaaky...?"
While she speaks, the spaceship around them shakes, making Behemo have to support both of their weights when Levia nearly falls.
"What-? Ah, who cares. Listen, we need to get out. We should try to head to the escape pods. Quickly."
"Huuuh...? Okay..."
She allows herself to be dragged away. The moth is flying the very same way, after all, so there is no reason to let go, even if she could.
Under its light, it's almost as if she's somewhere else entirely.
Two sets of footsteps approached a clearing in a forest in the "New Earth".
"...So, what do you think?"
Luna's voice was nearly as sweet as her smile, and Levia couldn't hold back her giggles.
"It... looks just like back home." She said, with a wide smile.
"Does that mean you like it?"
"Of course."
Luna clapped her hands happily, taking Levia's hand.
"Great. Why don't we spend some time together here, then? Just you and I, My Sun."
"You're going to make me combust like the sun if you keep up with that nickname, Moon Goddess."
"Oh dear, we wouldn't want that to happen- I'll lay off that nickname, then... Darling."
"Hey! That one's not better!"
Luna's laughter echoed through the forest, soon followed by Levia's.
---
Happy memories such as that one were some of the few things that kept Levia afloat lately.
Things weren't going according to plan.
Someone had found out. She had been so careful, too...
Yet they knew now. They knew enough to oppose the plan simply because she'd be involved in it.
Though she was certain they didn't know how hard she'd been trying to contain it. How much of her sheer effort went into that.
Well, it wasn't like it mattered. To them, once someone was diagnosed, there was no way back.
...Though it hadn't mattered to Held, had it? When he brought Enif, that tiny child that had been infected long before the plans for the spaceship were even complete, or when he brought his niece, the very patient Levia had tried to treat, into the Climb One, she doubted it had even crossed his mind that something would cause trouble.
But someone did. And now both Enif and his niece - alongside all their 60 other crewmates - were gone.
Didn't he even consider it might've been his fault that this all happened?
Didn't he even think that maybe, just maybe, one of those two could've been the cause of the issues?
No. Of course he didn't.
Because Held Yggdra couldn't ever possibly be wrong, could he?
It was awful.
He had exploited her since she was a child, and now to deny her this one, simple request.
He deserved so much worse than just rotting away slowly like he wished to.
He deserved to die slowly, painfully, and-
...
She swallowed another pill, dry.
It hurt her throat, but she couldn't care less.
Even if she'd been found out, they were still only three (well, two, if you didn't count TALOS), against seven.
They still had a chance, right..?
Yes, she just needed to seize it soon.
Everything would be perfectly fine. There was nothing to worry about.
Nothing at all.
No matter how fast they run, the spaceship's shaking is the biggest enemy to their advancement.
It keeps making Behemo nearly fall, and has thrown the much less coordinated Levia off-balance and face-first onto the floor multiple times already.
She keeps getting up, but with each time she has to run a little faster to reach Behemo once again. That does not help her already poor balance, making the falls more and more frequent.
After one too many, she looks up to see one of the spaceship's white, dark hallways before her.
And no sign of Behemo.
"Behemo...?" She calls out, looking around. "Behemoooooo... Where are yoooou...?"
She can't contain the giggles her throat lets out.
"Ohhh, is this hide and seek...? I haven't played that since I was a little kiiiid, give me a breaaaaak..."
Levia continues simply looking around, as if winning this game would somehow make things better. Another jolt from the spaceship sends her right onto the ground again, and she whines before getting up. "Hmmm... This spaceship is... Reaaaaaaaaally shaky..."
Looking up, though, she sees a familiar thing.
That glowing moth, flying towards a specific door.
Her smile quickly widens. There's no hesitation in her steps towards that door, even through the shaking.
Behemo is probably hiding there, right?
The giggling leaves her out of breath, but she manages to go into the room just fine.
"Behemoooooooo...! Where are yoooou...?"
She walks into the room, looking around. She's by one of the many large windows, facing back towards the door by the time she starts looking over the place.
She neglects to think much about the bookshelf behind her.
In fact, it'd be better to say she doesn't even notice it.
Not until the ship jolts once again, sending her falling forward.
And the bookshelf too.
Everything had gone wrong.
Very wrong.
There was no way to recover from this now.
They knew. All of them knew.
She couldn't even hide that secret anymore.
Her eyes were stinging with tears, and her hands shook as she slammed the door to her room.
Luna and Held had left, and he had said that this would be the very end.
She could only guess what he'd do to achieve that, but she knew that it'd become true.
Walking shakily to her desk, she struggled to open the drawer. But the 'prize' inside made it worth it.
An orange, cylindrical, half-full container.
A bottle of clockwork medicine.
The only thing left to ease her pain.
With it, she wouldn't have to deal with all of this.
She'd be able to escape it all, on her own terms.
It was with those thoughts on her mind that she poured all the contents of the bottle into her hands...
...And swallowed it all in one gulp.
A scream resounds through the spaceship.
She wonders if anyone can recognize it, among the loud sirens that soon start blaring through the ship.
Looking at the window behind her, with some difficulty, she sees the stars.
Shooting stars, perhaps?
Logically, her brain knows those are not shooting stars, but it is an information locked behind her current numb state.
Though... Maybe it isn't that numb, not anymore.
Not as tears stream down, from pain and desperation.
Not as she tries, desperately, to crawl out from under the fallen bookshelf, but fails miserably as her legs - her legs, they hurt so much. Why can't she move them? Why? Why is it so painful to try? - refuse to cooperate.
Not as she hears a door opening up.
Not when she looks up to see a familiar face, with familiar lavender hair, familiar silver eyes, and a familiar voice.
"...Lev...ia."
In her hands, she has a syringe. It glows, bright green, in the dark of the room.
"...Lunaaaaa...! It's you... Please... Get me out of here... It... hurts..." She tries to plead, but it seems to be ignored by Luna.
"I'm... So sorry." Is the only reply she gets.
Those words make Levia quiet down, looking up at the woman who she'd shared most of her time in this spaceship with.
Videogames in an old TV in one of the storage rooms. Strolls through the "New Earth".
And even before that, there is so much more they have done together.
So, why this apology, as if she's about to do something Levia could never forgive her for?
Levia is sure that she can forgive her for anything. Luna is, after all, the one she has come to love.
But the way Luna approaches her makes her want to cower, to hide.
Why is she so scared of the one she loves? That is what Levia asks herself.
There is no answer.
Luna kneels before her, pulling her head onto her lap.
"I'm so sorry, Darling."
"What... Are you going to do...?"
She can't move. Even if her legs were free, she has a feeling she wouldn't be able to move anyways.
Not with the drugs in her system.
"This is for the best. For the both of us. I promise."
There is a sudden sharp pain on the side of Levia's neck, and she has to hold back not to scream again. An injection. Right to the carotid artery, her brain supplies, before seemingly becoming unable to process anything.
Tears fall out of her eyes, and she can't bring herself to look at anything but the window on the other wall. Or, to be more precise, the wall was more window than anything, so it could almost be described as a glass wall instead.
Vaguely, she heard Luna say something, but the burning where the glowing green liquid had been injected slowly makes Levia's brain feel as if it's melting. She can't hear. She can only barely see.
"Don't leave..." She says, or at least she thinks she does. With the state of her brain, she could just be saying gibberish. "You promised... Please... Don't leave... Don't leave me alone..."
Levia doesn't know whether or not Luna stayed.
Levia doesn't know what the chemical is supposed to do to her body.
All Levia knows from before her eyes close one final time is the view from the glass wall, and all those 'shooting stars', as the spaceship quickly approaches the ground.