Chapter Text
"Welcome girls and Hanano and Kazutoshi—wow that name is getting long—to this meeting!" Tamba jumped up and down before taking her stuffed animal off her bed and sitting criss-crossed applesauce on the floor. She was in a normal tee-shirt and basketball shorts. Kamimura was definitely judging her taste in ankle socks, even after Tamba explained she was too lazy to do laundry.
Watari excitedly joined her on the floor, her own stuffed animal hugged close to her chest. She had on a red cropped top and a skort. Everyone, (besides Kamimura,) agrees they're better than normal skirts.
Okazaki followed not long after. She was already in her pajamas. Tamba's room was unbelievably hot when you usually are wearing about two layers of shirts, a winter jacket, pants, and a skirt! Her pajamas were a matching set Watari bought for her and insisted she wear it to the sleepover. She sat her stuffed animal in her lap.
Kamimura laid his blanket down where he was going to sit and plopped down. Normally he would just sit down, but those were symbolic. Only for deep conversations with Tamba... Also Hasegawa kept telling him all these disgusting facts about bacteria and viruses for some class he's taking. Kamimura wanted none of that. He too was in his pajamas which was just another gray hoodie and sweatpants. Tamba was judging the lack of color in his closet, even after Kamimura explained that other colors looked like shit on him.
"It's weird hearing Kamimura's name instead of Hiroaki's," Watari commented. She moved closer so the circle looked less lopsided.
"Well he's too busy hanging out with Chiba to hang out with us!" Tamba complained.
"Why is it that you brought Kamimura here instead?" Okazaki adjusted her mask a bit.
Kamimura snarled, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"No offense, really. I'm just wondering," Okazaki looked directly forward to Tamba, resulting in her gulping. Tamba didn't believe sitting next to Okazaki would've been any better.
"Just because he can't paint our nails, doesn't mean he can't be one of the girls. He's here to be depressed and completely unhelpful!" Tamba insulted Kamimura. However, the lack of malice in her voice made it obvious she was joking.
"Oh, fuck off," Kamimura and Tamba said at the same time. Watari giggled at the sight in front of her.
"Lucky guess."
"Fuck off."
"Stop copying me."
"You're so fucking annoying!"
Kamimura held up his stuffed animal and hit Tamba with it resulting in a yelp. Tamba picked up hers and started hitting back. Meanwhile, both were hurling insults at the same exact time.
Watari picked up her stuffed animal and placed it in front of her. "This is Penelope. Penelope the Phoenix . Since I am staff, she is too, and as staff members of this school we command you to stop!" Watari giggled as she leaned over and held out the Phoenix in between the two.
"You're on the student council. You're not really 'staff'," Kamimura corrected before going back to murdering Tamba with his plushie.
Okazaki held her stuffed animal in between the chaos too. "This is... well I name them after my last crime but I can't remember if it was aggravated identity theft or tax fraud..." Okazaki stopped speaking in hopes of remembering her very legal fox name. "Ah, yes! It was both!" She beamed as Watari looked over with her eyes wide. Her mouth fell open a few times, but no words actually fell out.
"This is aggravated identity theft and tax fraud. Since I'm the hall overlord, they are too. Since I have pepper spray, they have it too. We—politely request—you stop," Okazaki said. She then leaned over and put her plushie within the chaos to try and break it up.
"This is Forensics. He is a jellyfish. He may not be a staff, but he will beat your ass," Kamimura tried to maneuver around the plushies.
"This is Yuri the mouse! She is doing her best to protect me from the evil science jellyfish!” Tamba said as she hid behind the two other stuffed animals.
After a bit, they finally got the two to calm down. The group returned back to their circle.
The nonsense non-sequiturs were a running theme during this hangout. That's why Tamba should give Kamimura 500 yen.
"I'm having trouble with my crush! How did you guys get partners before me!" Tamba complained. She started tugging at her hair, which was finally let down, a bit.
"She broke into my dorm, punched a different robber who also broke into my room, took my really empty wallet, then became my friend," Watari said with a dreamy look in her eyes, "I don't really know how we started dating! It just happened."
"Uh. He started telling me facts about sea creatures and then I said, 'loser kiss me', and that loser kissed me," Kamimura recapped.
"Like I said, useless," Tamba pouted.
"Wait, I think I missed something: who's your crush?" Okazaki asked.
"Mai!" Tamba dragged on the last sound in her name.
"And what's stopping you from talking to her?" Okazaki asked. The others looked at her as if she just asked if the moon was made out of cheese, "What?"
"Shigeki! Obviously!" Watari shook her a bit.
"I thought he was dating—"
Tamba cut Okazaki off, "I thought he was dating Hayashi too! It turns out they're thankfully just friends, but I swear he's trying to make a move on her yesterday!"
"When she picked him up and carried her on her big buff meaty shou—" Okazaki nudged Watari a bit. "Sorry!"
"The fuck you want us to do about it?" Kamimura crossed his arms.
"Remove him," Tamba put her hands on her hips.
"I can do that easily!" It was impossible to see Okazaki's face, but it was obvious she was smiling. Probably like a maniac.
"Hanano,” Watari whined.
Okazaki sighed, "Fine."
Kamimura spoke up, "How the fuck are we supposed to 'remove him'?"
"Hm..." Tamba pondered, "Make him date someone else?"
"Who?" Okazaki asked.
Watari started laughing. Which grew more, and more... intense.
"I'm so glad you asked, Hanano! I know the perfect person for this task!” Watari beamed, "But… What's a surprise without suspense? Cue the drumroll, please!"
Tamba started hitting her hands against her thighs imitating the sound of a drum.
Okazaki joined in. She even took off her gloves to create a louder noise.
Kamimura reluctantly joined in. His drum was dumb and slow.
"Dudududududududa!" Watari mimicked, "It's—"
The drumming stopped.
"Hiroaki Nakamigawa!" Watari declared, leaving everyone stunned a bit.
"Hiroaki Nakami—fucking—gawa?!" Kamimura yelled.
"Nakami is doing what now?" Tamba asked.
"He's fucking Gawa. Did you not hear what he just said?" Okazaki answered.
"God, you're all insufferable," The smile on Kamimura's face betrayed his words.
"Nakamigawa and Shigeki have this enemies to friends arc going on, and I think I've spent too much time on AO3 and watching romance animes, and ever since the public has known about the friendships in here because of all the public figures; they started writing fanfiction about us. I think I've made some pieces too. It doesn't matter. Now for Hiroaki his biggest slash pair is Ojima, but I am obsessed with the thought of, 'what if he had an enemies to lovers canon pairing!" Watari laughed hysterically. "Or at least enemies to friends to lovers."
"What the fuck do any of those words mean."
"Huh?"
"I... don't get it."
Watari sighed, "What I'm saying is that he and Shigeki would be the best! Also, it's really funny."
"I can agree on that second part," Tamba nodded her head.
"So," Watari rubbed her hands together, "Step One: Get Hiroaki and Yanagi together! Step Two: Get Tamba and Hayashi together. Step Three: ...profit?"
"Invite them to the sleepovers!" Tamba smiled.
"I'm not that sorry, but if fucking Hiroaki is here. I'm not," Kamimura glared at Tamba.
"Hiroaki would make sure your nail polish isn't all patchy and on your skin!" Tamba pointed at his hands.
"Please don't fight again!" Watari whined.
"Fine." Kamimura turned away from Tamba.
Tamba in response turned away from Kamimura and blew him a raspberry.
"All in favor of this plan say ‘aye’." Watari said, trying to redirect the conversation back on track.
"Aye.”
"Aye!”
"Aye, but better than Rui."
"Aye, again, but better than Kazutoshi because it's my plan!"
"Aye, again, but—Wait I don't even wanna fucking do this!"
"Please don't fight," Okazaki picked up... whatever her fox's name was and sprayed water through a flower on both of them.
"Fine!" Tamba wiped the clear liquid off her face.
Kamimura didn't say anything. He just turned back to the circle.
"Okay. Hands in!" Watari stuck her hand out in the middle of the circle.
Okazaki held out her fox.
"New plan! Plushies in!" Watari held Penelope in the center.
Tamba held Yuri in the center. Kamimura, like the absolute life of the party, refused.
"I don't want to fucking do it," Kamimura rolled his eyes.
"I'll give you two tickets to the aquarium... as long as you use them before Harada starts asking why he can't go on a date with his girlfriend anymore," Okazaki offered.
"I—No—" Hasegawa's slight smile flashed in his mind. "Fine."
Kamimura held Forensics in the center.
"The Girls plus Hanano plus Kazutoshi on three!" Tamba's voice was full of whimsy.
"That name is such a mouthful!" Watari groaned.
"Fine. Let's make a new name for our group," Tamba compromised.
"Can it be quick, my arm's getting tired," Kamimura commented.
"The Rizzlers!" Tamba exclaimed.
"Fuck no." Kamimura snarked.
"The Rizzlers plus Kazutoshi!" Tamba grinned.
"Sure!" Watari laughed.
"Uhm. Okay," Okazaki said.
"What?! No!" Kamimura tried to protest, but Tamba was already counting down.
"Three!"
"Two"
"Kon!"
"The Rizzlers plus Kazutoshi!" The girls and Okazaki yelled as they raised their plushies. Kamimura started to regret ever accepting this invite. Even though he was silent, he too raised his stuffed animal.
After a lot of planning, The Rizzlers plus Kazutoshi, thankfully, went to sleep. Well they think Okazaki went to sleep.
They hope she did.
They were in Tamba and Kamimura's dorm.
Tamba got her bed.
Kamimura got his bed.
Watari and Okazaki shared an air mattress on the floor.
In the morning Kamimura woke up to Okazaki sitting on Tamba's bed as she held out a phone. It was too early for Kamimura to actually understand anything he was hearing. He was also dealing with the unfortunate reality of dating Hasegawa.
Once Hasegawa pointed out the light could be too bright in the morning when he woke up, or the air could be weird, or gravity could be too heavy, Kamimura sometimes noticed it too.
He shut his eyes and focused on what the two were saying.
"Shigeki needs to pick up now!" Tamba said in a pitch that was way too loud for the time of day.
"It's very unfortunate," Okazaki hummed. Kamimura could just imagine her nodding her head.
A phone rang. The ring tone was some… jazz? It sounded evil. Kamimura remembered Okazaki said she made every ringtone she had for everyone in her contacts different, so she knows if she doesn't want to pick up or not.
Kamimura was thinking of stealing the idea. Maybe with different songs. Okazaki said she used her favorite western artist's instrumental. Kamimura didn't pick up the name.
William Would? William Would and the Tapes Worms?
Kamimura's English wasn't the best. He just learned what rizz meant and apparently it's been western slang for fucking years.
Kamimura didn't want this artist. He sounded evil.
Tamba starting to speak again got him out of his inner monologue.
"Hello, Hanano. Is there any reason you and Tamba have been calling me?" It was clear Yanagi was trying to sound cheerful, but his voice indicates he just woke up.
"Oh I don't need you. It's just Tamba," Okazaki said.
Thud.
"Sorry! I dropped the phone!" Tamba apologized.
"Sorry to call you from a different phone! Mine....uh... died...yep," Tamba was a horrible liar.
"It's quite alright, Ruiko!" Yanagi laughed. "What do you need?"
"You remember that gift card I gave you a bit ago?" Kamimura could imagine Okazaki and Tamba trying to hold back giggles as they wait for Yanagi's response.
"Uh, yeah. I think so." Yanagi yawned.
"Did we wake you up?" Okazaki asked. Her voice seemed slightly more muffled than before. Perhaps she was lifting up the mask to speak previously.
"Ah. Yes. I was admittedly sleeping in today. I had a long day yesterday," Yanagi explained.
"Well wanna make today a better day, and get some ice cream?!" Tamba yelled into the phone.
Yanagi made a surprise noise, but then cleared his throat and answered her question, "That sounds lovely, Princess Tamba."
"Cool! I'll text you the details… preferably from my phone," Tamba giggled.
Yanagi laughed, "See you then!"
Kamimura assumed the line went dead.
"Who should call Hiroaki?" Tamba asked, realising they've hit a roadblock.
"Kamimura, who do you think should call Hiroaki," Okazaki asked him. This definitely caught him by surprise.
"Just call him from your phone again," Kamimura kept his eyes shut. "Also, please shut the blinds."
"See I told you he was a vampire!" Watari exclaimed. Not only did she hurt his ears—wait when did she call him a vampire?
A different ringtone from Hiroaki's started playing. It was more... evil jazz. There was also a very prominent piano playing.
After a bit some lyrics started playing.
"I'm that first person—"
"I thought I fixed that," Okazaki whines, "He doesn't really call me enough for it to matter."
The call picks up.
"Airi the contact name is literally, 'Weird Fox (Do Not Pick Up)'! Just let it ring."
"Hi, Hanano!" Chiba beamed through the phone.
"Hello, Airi," Okazaki responded. It must be nice to be close friends with the Chiba Airi.
"Hi, Airi!" Tamba said cheerfully.
"Oh, god. Please hang up," Hiroaki begged from the other side of the phone.
"Hi, Ruiko!" Chiba responded.
"Hi, Airi!" Watari yelled.
"I'm in hell," Hiroaki groaned.
"Kamimura, do you want to say hi to Airi?" Watari asked.
"Hi, Nishino! Hi, Kamimura! You should invite me to a sleepover... I can be cool!" Chiba informed the squad.
"That would be fun!" Tamba agreed. "Can you hand the phone over to Hiroaki? I wanna ask him something."
"Sure!" Chiba responded, "Tsuno wasn't in her dorm, and Yanagi wasn't in this dorm, so I slept here last night."
"So, Tamba. What could you possibly need that you needed to call from... uh... Okazaki's phone?" Hiroaki asked.
"I'm blocked! Anyway, I need—uhh—something… custom designed… so I'm inviting you out to ice cream to talk about it," Tamba explained, "My treat. I'll pay for it."
"Hm. Fine. Text me the details. I'm not unblocking you so text it from this phone." The call hung up.
"Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals," Watari started, "The Rizzlers, plus Kazutoshi's plan is in motion!”