Work Text:
KLANG!-KON G!-KLINK- SCLIIinnggg
Toriel bolted upright, her heart jumping into her throat. What in the World!
She was up and out of bed, already tightening a robe around herself, before she heard the voices drift in after the sound of her kitchenwares being pilfered.
“Sshhhhhhh!” Frisk hushed loudly. “Undyne, we’re trying not to wake mom up, remember ?” Her child chided nervously.
“I know! -” Undyne tried to defend herself before Frisk and another voice hushed her again.
“THE AMBASSADOR, FRISK, IS RIGHT UNDYNE. THIS IS A MISSION OF UTMOST SECRECY~” Papyrus… I suppose for Papyrus this must have been a whisper , to the other conspirators.
“I know, I know. You nerds don’t have to remind me that Operation: Surprise Goat-Mom is a stealth mission.” The aggressive fish-warrior half-whispered back. “Now look, if the Queen didn’t wake up from all that clanging, then she aint gonna wake up while we make the best best-friend pancakes of truth and justice ever, is she?” After a moment of silence Undyne continued, “Alright then, let’s make some pancake!” She was promptly shushed again.
Toriel listened to the trios conversation standing halfway between her door and her bed, her mind equally conflicted. If Undyne and Papyrus were here to help Frisk surprise her with breakfast, which they so obviously must be, then there had to be an equally obvious reason for the surprise. Was it because she had recently started construction on her school? No, they had had a party to celebrate that achievement already. She, Frisk, and Asgore had already been back in Monster Town, why do we let him keep naming things , for several weeks now so it cannot be for their political success at the human capital. They had already had a welcome-home celebration, in anycase. Was it because of the date, had she forgotten an important event?
I have been so wrapped up in the school’s construction that something may have slipped by… No that cannot be right either, she programed everything important into her new phone. She had always needed a pocket planner when she had been helping Asgore rule, now all she need was this sleek new sleeve of metal and glass to keep track of everyone and everything. These humans really had advanced technology for the better since the war. And they even made cellular devices for beings with paws as large as hers; the surface was truly a fascinating place.
Toriel shuffled her bare feet across her plush carpeting to collect her phone from its nightly rest on her dresser. Soon after purchasing the phone, she had discovered that if she left it on her nightstand she would not go to sleep in any sort of timely manner. Sans always had been a night owl. She plucked the delicate piece of ingenuity off her dresser and checked for messages and calendar alerts. She found none.
The digital clock read, 10:02. Sundays had always been lazy days for her, even back in her surface years, and Frisk had gladly agreed to continue the tradition with her. Until today, of course.
A ‘NYEH HEH HEH’ and a childish giggle ghosted under her door, soon followed by, “Shut up! That egg had it coming! Sides’ it clearly wasn’t good enough for my best-friend pancakes of truth and justice anyway!”
Since Papyrus is here then... perhaps Sans may know why today is worthy of surprise pancakes. Toriel opened up her messages but hesitated. It is only ten… Sans does not normally wake up until noon… And it was not as if Papyrus had not left Sans a note containing his whereabouts, like he always did. She remembered the picture Sans had snapped to her of himself with a note from Papyrus taped to his forehead. The caption had read, ‘papyrus always make me feel noteworthy’. The clattering of frying pans from the vicinity of her kitchen interrupted her train of thought.
She deliberated over the keyboard for another second before texting a simple message.
*Good morning, Sans. I believe Papyrus has likely left you a note already, but I wished to inform you that he and Undyne are assisting Frisk surprise me with pancakes. I, however, do not know why. If you happen to wake up soon your brother’s letter might say more. ]:)
She waited for several moments, if Sans was awake he would normally text back right away, but her phone did not chirp. Undyne yelled and was shushed, but the shushers, too, were growing louder in their excitement. With a sigh Toriel finally gave in and decided to check online for the answer. As Alphys had told her on several occasions, ‘I-if you don’t k-know the answer to s-something, you can j-just google it… if you w-want.’
The human internet was far more useful than the Undernet had been, but it also seemed to contain a great deal more anonymous ‘haters’ and significantly larger amounts misinformation. Slowly she carefully typed in the date, trying to avoid making too many typos with her clumsy digits.
The web searches began to load, but the second she saw the first one her breathe caught in her throat. ...Mother’s Day…
She was glad her desk had been nearby, for she barely managed to guide herself to Chariel the 2nd before her knees became too weak to hold her up any longer.
Mother’s day.
Mother’s day.
Mother’s day.
Toriel had never expected to celebrate another Mother’s day after her beloved Chara and Asiel had passed away. She, also, had never expected to feel the sunlight warming her fur again or to be in charge of the future of monsterkind again, either. So many things she had believed to be lost to her forever, and yet here they were. She was on the surface, leading her people to a better, brighter future, with beloved friends and family at her side and with a child all her own. Tears stained her fur and she did know whether she was glad for them or disgusted by them.
She was a foolish old goat who could not let go of the past, even now, while she listened to the child, her child, laugh with their best-aunt-friend and greatest-uncle-friend as they tried make her pancakes. She huffed out an angry breath and scrubbed at the fur across her cheeks. It would not be fair of her to ruin this first Mother’s day with Frisk because she was trapped in her own grief.
Not to say that her grief was to be neglected either, it was just… just not the right time for it. Toriel nodded to herself once and took a few minutes to compose herself.
“No, Frisk! You have to stir harder! With more Passion! Fill The Batter With THE FIRE OF YOUR DETERMINATION! NGAAHH!” Undyne all but wailed from the kitchen as Papyrus cheered words of encouragement to the tiny ambassador. Toriel had to stifle a weak laugh. My goodness, I do think these pancakes will be very chewy… Hee~ at this rate they might really start to gum up the works of Frisk's surprise.
Toriel turned to her diary and quickly wrote down this gem, before she forgot it. At the moment it was not quite good enough to use on anyone besides Sans, but with a little work it could be universally groan-inducing in no time. Toriel soon became absorbed by her sudden influx of delectable pancake and breakfast related puns. She could still hear Undyne and Papyrus happily shouting baking encouragements at Frisk, each other, and ultimately themselves, but she had ceased listening to them.
...With an egg-celant breakfast, I will certainly see the sunnyside of each day…
...You butter believe that a healthy breakfast is an important part of your everyday routine, trust me yogurt to try it for yourself…
...I have a burning question for you, but if you don’t answer correctly you’ll be toast !
The smell of smoke registered in Toriel’s mind seconds before the fire alarm went off.
Well… it certainly could have been worse .
No one had been injured, which was undoubtedly a very good thing. The same could not be the same for her poor kitchen, however.
Toriel had known that Undyne and Papyrus could become… very excitable when working together to accomplish goals, but she had not understood how that excitability manifested. And she soon learned that it was a rather- vehement external expression of their own emotional conflicts onto the environment.
Nearly every surface had collected a fine layer of baking powders: flour, sugar, salt, pancake mix and the like. While most of the harder surfaces, such as the counters, floor, and refrigerator, had received very elaborate collections of egg, milk, and raw batter; most appeared to be in the form of splatter residue, but others were clearly hand prints.
Several decision made by the surprise-rs to try and expedite the cooking process lead to the increase of cooking surfaces used and to the increase of the cooking temperature for the pancakes. All in an effort to reduce the cooking time, or so she was told. The latter decision had been the one that led to the activation of her fire alarm. Now the remains of the ashy and soggy breakfast treats littered the counters and floor, but most remained cemented in their pans.
But none of this truly surprised her, mess were meant to be made and lessons were learned by all, but that was just part of life. No what had taken the cake, so to speak, were the larger number of half-burned half-raw pancakes that had been expertly adhered to her ceiling.
The trio had been exceptionally disappointed by their inability to surprise her and by the extensive mess they had made in the process. A mess they had promised to clean up, but not until they treated her to a Mother’s day brunch. So despite Toriel’s best efforts to insist that they needn’t go to the trouble and the miraculously stainless quality of the would-be chefs, the whole gang had hurriedly ushered her out of the house leaving the battered kitchen in their wake.
A nice Mother’s day brunch was a very lovely idea, unfortunately many other families had had the same idea. Leaving every restaurant they tried with a 45 minute minimum service wait. This was perfectly acceptable for Toriel, expected even. Former Captain of the Royal Guard, Undyne the Spear of Justice, however, was a woman of action and soon with the help of Papyrus they devised a new plan to help make this Mother’s day special.
Well, this will certainly be memorable… Toriel kept her most professional smile intact as she covertly scanned the restaurant, nearly all eyes were on their table. She, Frisk, Undyne, Papyrus, Alphys, and Mettaton all sat around several tables that had been move together for their larger brunch party and were talking quite merrily. Frisk’s tinkling laugh recaptured Toriel’s attention as the child beamed at their beloved aunts and uncles. … and very enjoyable.
Naturally, Papyrus had decided to call the pop-icon and rising superstar for assistance and just as naturally, he gladly came to provided it. Mettaton did not need reservations, darling , especially when he was ‘on vacation’ from one his tours. Any business owner would gladly accept the free publicity that accompanied the celebrity during the few times he chose to be ‘off camera’.
And if Toriel was as observant as she felt, then this might be one of the few times she had ever seen the spectacularly handsome robot actually at his ease. And by that, she meant flustered, but hiding it exceedingly well. Somehow, not by her doing, the popstar had ended up being seated right next to a particularly charming and exceptional oblivious skeleton. From the periodic giggles that had been escaping her child, Toriel suspected she knew who had been responsible for that particular seating arrangement.
And next to them were the two passionately-in-love scaled young ladies, who's growing romance had been a hot topic all over town. Currently, Alphys was in a serious explanation about the logistics of a designing a Princess Magic-girl Mech for her enraptured gillfriend by next September. Said gillfrien- girlfriend was watching the good doctor with a mix of admiration and love. It was a look that truly suited Undyne.
Toriel had been pulled from her quiet contemplation by a small tug on her sleeve, “Why, yes my child, what is it?”
“Happy mother’s day” Frisk spoke softly, but hesitated for a second while they looked around, “an’ sorry it got kinda out of hand.” The child looked slightly abashed.
She moved one large paw to pet the child soft hair on Frisk’s head, “Oh my sweet child, I am so very glad to be spending Mother’s day with my family. This day’s celebrations can be extended far past the parent-child relationship and I am certainly glad it has worked out for us so far. Even with this mornings char-ming mess~”
Frisk giggled, face shining brightly up at her with only a light embarrassed flush dusting their cheeks. “I’m just glad the whole day didn’t go up in flames!” They exclaimed delightedly.
As they both broke into a small fit of giggles, Papyrus made a quite valiant effort not to groan in protest. Mettaton rolled his eyes at the silly word play, while Undyne grimaced and Alphys snickered. “EVEN WHEN MY BROTHER IS NOT THE ONE TELLING THE PUNS I CAN STILL HEARTH-LY STAND THEM.” Papyrus groaned.
It was desperately entertaining to watch the slow realization sink in as the skeleton across from her became aware of what he had just said, it was nearly as funny as the well-executed pun. Papyrus proceeded to place his skull in his hands, while Undyne looked on in horror and Frisk laughed out right. “UHHGGG. THIS KIND OF HUMOR MUST BE A DISEASE THAT I AM UNABLE TO ESCAPE. PLEASE, JUST DO NOT TELL SANS OR I WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT IF HE FINDS OUT I AM PUNNING IN HIS PLACE!” Papyrus bemoaned.
Toriel unable to keep her laugh in any longer, joined Frisk in their fit of giggles. She barely managed to gasp out, “D-do not fret P-papyrus, I-I think your brother w-w-would find this-s situation very- very heartwarming~”
That pun had been the one to push the party tittering over the edge into complete chaos.
Toriel recalled a conversation she had had with her once-stranger punpal through their door. She could not remember how they had come to the topic, but it had been the first time she had ever heard him speak so adamantly about one of his own passions.
“you gotta believe me lady, there’s nothing like saying telling the final pun. it’s like the perfect prank, but the results are a surprise, even to you. it’s friggin hilarious.” Came his muffled baritone through the gaps in the door.
She smiled to herself imagining him gesticulating merrily as he described to her one of his favorite parts about telling puns to people who did not appreciate their... unique form of self expression. “Truly? It must be quite a sight. I hope one day that I might be able to tell one of these ‘ final puns’ to a group of unsuspecting beings.” She replied, shifting her seated position slightly to find a less squished portion of her pillow.
She did not care that the chill from the town of Snowdin seeped under the door into the fabric of her dress, not as long as his voice glided under the door with it. “nah, that’s the funniest part. i mean the fact that the victims already know it’s coming but they don’t know when the pun’ll drop so they can’t do a thing to stop it from happening… heh. that’s freakin’ magnificent. ‘cause if even you don’t know when the time has come for the magnum o puns , how can they?” They both snickered.
“I am afraid, I still do not understand. If you do not know when the pun will be said then how can you set up the conversation for it to occur?” Toriel questioned, turning her head towards the door at her back in an effort to make her question more audible, if not clearer.
He chuckled one of his short laughs that often provided a wide variety of social commentary, “i mean that’s just it, lady. you won’t know that it’s gonna happen until the word play has entered the final pun tier for all to hear. no premeditation, no elaborate set up, no careful timing, it just happens and then the group spontaneously combusts… it’s like, an... organic part of the conversation- er somethin’. you just gotta let it happen on its own.”
Toriel most definitely understood what Sans had been trying to explain to her now, and he was absolutely correct. It had been glorious. Each person had seemed to react to the pun at the same time, but in entirely unique ways. It could not have been choreographed more beautifully if she purposefully set out to try and cause such an enormous uproar.
The snorts of derision, the groans of irritation, and the one yell of profound anger sounded like the score of an excellent film, and with the quick wits of Toriel’s friends the crashing crescendo of flipped tables had been respectfully restrained to the jarring sound of a table being set back down and the clatter of displaced silverware. She knew she should feel embarrassed for causing so much distress to her family and the other patrons of the restaurant, but she just could not find it in herself. Only this sense of giddy, reckless, joy filled her, one she had all but forgotten from her youth. At least her friends had the good graces to look apologetic towards the questioning stares they were receiving, while Toriel had had to bury her head in her hands to try to stifle her laughter. Somehow Mettaton had managed to charm the manager into a calmer state and they all hoped their brunch- it is 12:36, lunch could continue uninterrupted.
But it clearly was not meant to be. Before they had had a chance to order, Frisk noticed the gaggle of people growing by the window nearest to them. Each of the colorfully dressed humans were sporting numerous MTT brand products and… antlers? The crowd had begun to grow large enough that other tables had started to notice, too. Mettaton smiled at his fans and waved as the crowd swooned with the motion, all the while Mettaton listed instructions to them through his politely smiling lips.
The group had had to split up in order to avoid the mad rush of youthful adolescent excitement from the- um... Metta-dears? She and Frisk ended up in Mettaton’s little high-end italian convertible, while Undyne and Alphys ended up in Papyrus’ fully-restored cherry red classic. Mettaton had assumed they would have made it at least halfway through lunch before his adoring fans caught up with him. Apparently, on his vacations his fans are even more committed to trying to find him than when he was on tour, so in situations like this the best idea was ‘to go somewhere public… and crowded… and full of wonderful distractions...’
“Oooh~ darling, like the mall! And that way I can buy everyone an apology present for crashing our lunch date. Frisk dear~ call Paps for me and tell him to take his finely finned passengers to the mall~” Mettaton crooned in delight as he whipped through traffic far faster than Toriel felt was entirely safe.
Toriel had tried to tell Mettaton that he really did not need to make it up to her, she was simply glad to have spent some time with him and the others, but alas once that dashing robot had an idea nothing could stop him.
Which is how Toriel ended up at a small round table near the food court, watching Frisk play in one of the designated play areas. She was not really sure where the last two hours had gone, but they most certainly had been entertaining. Alphys, in a burst of enthusiasm, dragged her gillfriend- I mean girlfriend- off in search of the Sanrio store, while she and Frisk were led in and out of all kinds of shops as Mettaton and Papyrus, hand-in-hand no less , took turns picking ones.
However, her and Frisk’s lunchless state soon caught up with them and after the slightly overpriced, but wonderful blended fruit smoothie they had decided to take a break from window shopping. Afterall, Mettaton would surely let them know when he found them the perfect apology gift.
This had not been like any Mother’s day Toriel had ever had, but it had been very fun and felt very much like a Frisk-lead adventure. Toriel watched as Frisk made one of the monster children’s days by inviting them to join the others in whatever game they had been playing. Even now after all she and Asgore had done to promote monsterkind, only a very few were here today, but as she watched all of the happy little stripped blurs rush by she felt her soul swell with warmth and hope. Her phone vibrated.
She looked away from the play area and fished the small device out of the pocket of her ‘casual weekend dress’. Frisk had enjoyed going on all of the clothes shopping trips she had needed to do in order to update her wardrobe.
Once she tapped her phone awake, the little message notification promptly informed her that Sans had sent her a text. One that read: *lol batter up
Batter up? What does that mean? Toriel frowned down at her touch screen before opening up her messaging app. She soon realized what he had meant. Her last text to him had been this morning and it read: *Sans… There are pancakes stuck to my ceiling…
And to her sudden horror, she realized those pancakes were still splattered artfully across her kitchen ceiling. With all the chaos of the last few hours she had completely forgotten about the mess back home. Oh no! All that batter and raw egg is going to stain the paint! Toriel felt her breath whoosh out in a startled sigh. She did not want to rush everyone since they were having such a good time, but… the damage to her paint… had likely already occurred. It was surely too late now, so why rush home to find out what she already knew. She felt herself sigh again as she scooped her phone up off the table and texted Sans back.
*Well put, but I think I might have found it more enjoyable if those same pancakes were not still stuck to my ceiling. ]:(
Only to get an immediate response.
--- *what? you’re kidding? i thought you said paps was over at your place he doesn’t leave messes
--- *like anywhere
--- *ever
*Yes, he is with me, but I’m afraid Undyne and Frisk insisted upon whisk-ing me off for a brunch out instead of a homemade one. Do not worry though, your brother insisted in his most official of voices that he would not leave this mess for ‘his royal majesty’ to clean up.
--- *heh sounds like they really stir-ed up some trouble
--- *but… um tori, maybe this would be considered brunchtime for someone with my sleeping habits but i think it’s well into late-lunchtime for everyone else…
*You are quite right, but while you were snoozing a great deal more interesting things have happened then the creation of pancakes. This is going to have a long set up, but I can assure you that the punchline will knock you Dead~
And it did. Once she had caught Sans up, she got to share her newest pun-scapade with him and she was rewarded with a flood of delightful little texted gifs from Sans, likely, while the skeleton had been lying on the floor cackling. A small part of her would have preferred to be there with him, lying on the floor, cackling merrily... together . Luckily, her phone chirped again pulling her out of that errant thought.
--- *tori i’m so proud this must truly be a… mom-umental mom-ent for you~
Toriel had to try her hardest not to burst into laughter. This man had managed to get two mom puns in one fell text message, before she had even had a chance to make one!
*Oh certainly, and I will forever be maternally grateful to whatever cosmic force allowed me to tell such a table-flipping pun! ]:)
--- *heh sounds like frisk’s goat the world’s best comedic momster then
*You bleat me to the momster pun! ]>:)
*So did you know that today was Mother’s Day or did you have the Miss.Fortune of meeting with a Sir.Prise this morning, as well?
--- *heh nice, but yeah, hue got me. it felt like this came out of the blue for me too
--- *and you were right, paps’ note did have the reason for his stealthy pancake mission
*I think I’m going to have to repaint my kitchen…
--- *come on tori it can’t be that bad
--- *btw when do you think you and the kid’ll be back?
*And I think you are underestimating the staining power of raw eggs.
*I think we will be out for at least another hour, why? Do you miss your brother’s magnificent company or are you afraid that Mettaton will sweep him off his feet with more scandalous hand holding?
--- *please t, my poor nerves can’t handle all of this talk of hand holding
--- *sides if anyone is sweeping people off their feet it’s papyrus
*I thought you disapproved of their budding relationship?
--- *not really, i mean i like giving pap a hard time about it but that’s part of the brother’s hand guide to dealing with your siblings new relationship
--- *i really just want him to be happy
--- *and safe.
Toriel knew that text messages did not have underlining capabilities, but she was certain that Sans had underlined that last text. She felt her smile growing wider, as if that was even possible at this point . It had been a real treat for her when she had finally got to listen to Sans talk about Papyrus in person. She had only ever been able to guess at the kind of facial expressions her punny friend had been making when he spoke of his beloved brother, but she had no idea how much more endearing it made his monologues. It was an absolute delight. Before she could reply, her phone chimed with its picture message notification.
It was a picture of one fluffy dog and several smaller fluffy puppies, all grinning happily at the camera. Sans had captioned it: *hey look, it’s a mom-eranian
Toriel suddenly felt her heart squeeze as she let out a breath much too fast. She felt herself reeling but she was not sure why this sudden rush of painful nostalgia had swept through her. She read the caption again and felt her heart clench in realization … mom-eranian… I use to say that one a lot. The dog jokes had always been Asriel’s favorites…
She took several deep breathes, she was not going to start crying here, in this food court, in public . And she was absolutely not going to start crying in front of Frisk. She closed her stinging eyes and slowly filled her lungs with carefully measured amounts of air. She just need to pull herself out of the past and back into the present.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Her phone chirped.
--- *?
Right, she had been texting Sans. He was probably getting worried since she had not texted back. Should I tell him?
no...
No.
It was totally out of the question. She had cried to him through the door far too many times as it was, he certainly did not need this from her now. Besides, now was not the best time anyway.
*Teehee, that one was cute :)
There, that should put him at his eas-
--- *tori, what’s wrong?
How did he know something was wrong? What could she have possible done to make him think she was not alright? She was, in fact, not alright, but that was not the point. The point was how did he know that?
--- *toriel, seriously what is it
--- *let me help
--- *please
He used her full name, he never does that. Heavens how serious does he think this is? I’m just a silly old goat lady, with her mind trapped in the past. He should not be worrying himself over little doddering me...
--- *knock knock
Toriel sucked in another measured breath. If she responded then he would have gained a foothold in the conversation and would continue to pursue this line of concerned questioning, therefore she should not respond. Ignoring him was the only logical thing to do.
*Who is there?
--- *dishes
*Dishes who?
--- *dishes a joke you’ve heard before
--- *...
--- *t?
*...
*how did you know something was wrong?
--- *cause you always add horns to your emoticons, and you didn’t in the last one…
She scrolled up a little and looked. He was right she had not add a bracket to her smiley face. Had Sans really noticed the change in her mood simply because she did not text him a smiley face they way she normally did? But, she supposed, that did not really matter right now. If he had not been sure before, he certainly was now. She had just confirmed his suspicions, after-all. The only options left to her were to ask him to not push the issue or to tell him.
Still, her fluffy thumbs hesitated over the touch screen keyboard. He was not going to text again, she knew that. It was just like the old days when he would try to get her to talk to him about what was upsetting her. He would always wait until she asked him a question and he would always answer in this matter-of-fact tone, one that often led her to believe in the truth of his words. And then the young skeleton would wait, and wait, and wait. It was her turn to talk, and the stars as her witness, he knew how to be patient. Later on, when she had asked about his pension for persistence and he had only laughed it off, saying that ‘persistence is just the nice way to tell someone they’re stubborn’.
So she could not out wait him. Yet again, she was back to her two options. Shut him out or- or…
No. There had really only ever been one option. Her soul had just been afraid of losing him like she had lost so many others, so had refused to go down quietly in the face of wisdom and history. …he always knocks… even after everything he still comes back and knocks.
*...
*It is just that…
*Well, it is just that I used to tell a joke like that one.
*It was just quite a long time ago, but today being today and all of the other mother-related puns in tandem. A few old memories came back to me, that is all. Nothing really to worry yourseld obwr
Toriel hurried blinked the water from her eyes, her typos would surely increase exponentially if this continued. A picture message interrupted her next attempt to compose a more coherent text. She blinked once after the small image had loaded. It was a picture of a very lovely branched plant, with small reddish fruit and small waxy orange leaflets surrounding the fruit. Toriel was certain she had seen this plant in numerous autumnal wreaths hung around the human capitol buildings. This, however, did not explain why Sans had sent her a picture of this out-of-season plant.
*I am sorry Sans, I do not think I understand the significance of this plant.
*Not to says that it is not very lovely, but I am not sure how this pertains to our current conversation.
--- *it’s called a bittersweet vine…
--- *like bittersweet thoughts clinging to some of your old memories…
--- *um nvm, that one wasn’t very good
--- *just forget it and i’ll try to find another
Toriel could not help herself, she laughed out loud. She nearly bleated at the thought of Sans and the way he looks when one of his puns misses its mark or goes over the audience’s heads. He gets this very peculiar stuffed expression and is unsure whether he should explain the joke or back track and ends up doing neither very effectively. Not only is the whole situation humorous it also has led her to believe that he is not very accustom to his jokes falling flat. So on several occasions she has taken advantage of his reaction and feigned ignorance to follow up with an even better pun after she has watched him flounder for a while.
And now, he has somehow managed to portray those adorable flummoxed expressions, and mannerisms, and magical blue blush through a handful of text messages.
Toriel hurriedly sent him back a few of the more appropriate gifs from earlier in their conversation, still while quietly giggling to herself. Lest he try to send her another bittersweet pun and send her into a fit of laughter she might never recover from.
--- *?
--- *um, tori?
--- *what did i do
*Thank you, Sans.
--- *for what
*For being yourself and for trying/succeeding to make a little old goat lady feel better.
--- *uh, sure tori
--- *you’re welcome, i guess
*]:D
--- *so do you still want to talk about it
*Yes I think I would, but now is not the best time for it. Besides so many of our conversations have been through some medium or another, I would like to have more of them in person.
--- *course, tori
*Perhaps we can talk tomorrow or maybe the day after? I think I would like to put a little more distance between those emotions and this date.
--- *that sound raisin-able to me
*Oh?
--- *ya know, cause it’s a date
Toriel stared down at her phone with a mix of panic and elation. Did he just ask me out on a date?
--- *not tthat this wil be a date
--- *just that Mother’s day is a date
--- *have to go
--- *talk to you later
She did not really have much of a chance to reply or even think about why she felt relieved, or was this feeling disappointment, about the lack of a date, before Frisk came happily bouncing over. “Hey Mom! Uncle Mettaton just texted me saying he found ‘ the most fabulous gifts ’ for us and he wants us to meet him in this little boutique upstai- Mom? What’s so funny?”
Mettaton had thought of the perfect gift for Frisk. With summer right around the corner, he had found a scuba shop that sold the cutest wetsuits. The manager had said the style was called a shortie because of the cropped sleeves and pants, and it looked wonderful on Frisk. With its grey and black body pattern and then the red trim, Frisk was practically bouncing around the store at the thought of being able to wear it this summer. They had even sent a text to Monster Kid to express their new heart-felt desire to go to the beach and to ask if MK would want to go with them. While Frisk had been trying on the suit, Mettaton had snuck out and come back with another surprise for her elated child. It was one of his yet-to-be released summer edition MTT brand beach towels. The stores had already begun to stock them, but they would not be announced until the end of May so Frisk would be ‘ So fashion forward that no one will be able catch up to you, Darling~ ’.
The robot truly had a knack for finding the best gifts, or at least that was what Toriel had thought until Mettaton had purred for her to follow him to her gift.
She still had no idea what he had been thinking, she was a little old lady for heaven’s sake! And by some cruel hand of fate, all of her friends and child had agreed with his wild idea, all insisting that this was exactly what she needed. And then there were the high heels, as if she, a seven foot tall goat monster, really needed to be any taller. She had a hard enough time with doorways as it was, the extra inch of height was not going to help anyone.
I mean honestly, what do they all think I need a little black dress for anyways? Toriel had been so flustered at the idea of needing such a cliched article of clothing, after all it was a dress for dating or partying neither of which she planned on doing… mostly, had not planned on doing… Maybe Alphys had hacked my phone and saw those last few texts with S-! No, that was just the paranoia talking. She trusted her friends, even if they apparently suffered from questionable judgement while under the influence of their own romantic feelings.
Yes, that must have been what had happened! They all were projecting romantic feelings on to her because they wanted her to share in the joy that they had found. As for Frisk… well this was the same child who called her Mom and then tried to flirt with her in the same breath.
So after several agonizing hours of trying on dress after dress and posing for a picture in each one, Frisk had insisted , Mettaton had finally decided that ‘this dress was the one. ’ At long last she and the other had finally left the mall and head for home. Alphys and Mettaton departed together in a flourish of waves and winks and stuttered goodbyes, while she, Frisk, Papyrus, and Undyne all climbed into Papyrus’ convertible for the trip back to her home. Luckily, the trip was a much safer affair; Papyrus was very serious about obeying the traffic laws.
Toriel supposed that if she had not been so caught up in her thoughts about her newest dress, that it might have occurred to her that they really ought to buy takeout, before Papyrus turned onto her street. Ah well, perhaps cleaning her kitchen will not take as long as she believed it would, not with all these extra hands, anyway. I think I have everything I need to prepare a nice salad, and it should be enough to feed all of us… With a small sigh Toriel unlocked her door and headed straight to her kitchen to assess the damage.
Had she left the kitchen light on before they had left this morning?
When she reached her illuminated kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks and the jovial voices behind her died way as they reached the doorway with her. It was clean.
Her kitchen was clean.
… no-
It was not clean, but cleaner…?
All of the batter had been removed from the ceiling and the smoke residue had been scrubbed off the walls, leaving her paint stain free. All of the dishes had been moved to the sink and were soaking in water to facilitate the removal of burned and dried on batter, but it appeared that the strange Breaking and Entering cleaner had yet to get to them. Her paws still stuck to the floor, as she moved farther into the spacious room, despite an apparent attempt to clean the linoleum. She was certain that everything need to be disinfected, and white powders of all kinds could still be seen clinging to the counters, cabinets and appliances… I think the egg and milk hand prints are still on the refrigerator, they have only dried clear-ish.
“Hey, Papyrus? You didn’t, like, sneak back here and start cleaning or something, right?” questioned the befuddled warrior fish-woman.
“WHY THE AUDACITY! UNDYNE DO YOU TRULY BELIEVE THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD LEAVE SUCH A JOB UNFINISHED!?”, Papyrus responded indignantly. “IT WOULD BE FAR MORE LIKELY THAT A DASTARDLY FIEND HAS BROKEN INTO HER MAJESTY TORIEL’S HOUSE!”
Undyne scoffed back, “Get Real, Papyrus! Nobody’s gonna break into someones house and then decide to half-clean it!!”
Frisk spoke up before Papyrus could reply, “Maybe, we interrupted whoever had been trying to clean up…”
It was silent for several seconds before Papyrus shouted with a renewed vigor, “YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT, FRISK! THE WOULD-BE CLEANER WAS INTERRUPTED BY OUR ENTRANCE AND MUST HAVE TAKEN REFUGE IN ANOTHER PART OF THE HOUSE! LIKELY THEY HOPED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR BEFUDDLED STATES IN AN ENDEAVOR TO HIDE AND THEN ESCAPE AT A LATER TIME. BUT FEAR NOT! I WILL NOT LET THIS VILLAIN REMAIN HIDDEN! NYEH HEH HEH!” And with that he took off in an effort to explore the house for this hidden perpetrator, Frisk and Undyne hot on his heels. But the trio made it no further than the dinning room before another mystery revealed itself.
As Toriel moved towards the stunned group, she felt her bafflement grow. On her table sat several bags of what appeared to be takeout and accompanying the bags was a bouquet of flowers parked in one of her vases.
They moved towards the table in an almost slacked jawed stupor. Upon closer inspection, the takeout was from the very popular Italian-Monster fusion restaurant just up the street; the styrofoam containers were still warm.
“DO YOU THINK THAT, HIS MAJESTY, KING ASGORE MIGHT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?”, Papyrus asked in far less certain tone as he gestured towards the flowers by way of explanation.
“Pfft! Nah! King Fluffybuns wouldn’t’ve scampered off if we interrupted his cleaning session. This has totally got to be someone else!” Undyne replied, admirably trying to hide her own uncertainty.
Frisk threw a quick glance at Toriel before saying, “Maybe Dad’s still here?”. They continued more hurriedly, but in a very cheery tone, “He could just be hiding, let’s go look!”
After a few loud cheers and exclamations of agreement, Toriel was left alone with this puzzle and a lovely bouquet of pinks, purples, and blues.
She scowled down at the flowers. The idea of Asgore being in her home without her permission just left a bad taste in her mouth. They were barely on informal speaking terms and if this really had been his doing it felt like a very large invasion of privacy. She reached for the flowers not sure what exactly she was going to do with them once she picked them up, but her train of thought was jarred by a sudden crinkling sound. She had expected her fluffy paws to touch smooth plant stems, but instead her digits had wrapped around cellophane and tissue paper.
…store bought-- flowers?
Toriel removed the flowers from the vase to take a closer look at them and discovered that the vase was empty. They had not even been put into water, someone had just stuck them into a vase and left them on the table. Toriel felt even more confused than before, but this new evidence could only mean one thing for certain: Asgore was not responsible for whatever had happened here. And that realization actually filled her with relief, promptly followed by a wave of self-disgust.
Was the idea of a stranger in her home, truly more comforting the the idea of her estranged ex-husband being in her home? She scooped up the vase and carried both it and the bouquet into the kitchen, while her mind pondered this moral conundrum further.
Yes and No, seemed to be the best answer she could come up with as she removed the flowers from their wrapping. They really were quite lovely: a handful of pink Peruvian lilies, several large spotted Stargazers, and quite a few long stunning stalks of Larkspur, and the sparse filler around the edges were deeply pigmented Cornflowers. Toriel half-filled the vase with water and used the sturdy stem of a Stargazer to mix the packet of plant preservatives into the water.
She did not believe that she preferred a stranger invading her home to Asgore’s presence, but she did not believe that her mystery guest had been a stranger. Toriel selected a pair of sharp kitchen shears from a drawer nearby and began trimming the flower stems over the plastic to help contain some of the floricultural mess. Everything that had been done to her kitchen had been an act of kindness and the amount of food had been exactly perfect for four people, so clearly it must have been the actions of a friend who had know about the day’s exploits. She carefully returned the flowers to the vase and re-arranged them as best she could.
The shouts and angry footfalls that echoed through her house, clearly indicated that her guests were not have any luck at ferreting out the potentially hidden do-good-er. Not that they would have anyway.
Now, where had that thought come from? Was she subconsciously under the impression that their guest had purposefully left without a trace? Well, obviously, she was under that impression because if they had wanted to be known surely they could have written a note or texted her, if she was sticking to the friend theory. Toriel loosely wrapped the stems in the plastic and took this small bundle and the freshly arranged centerpiece back into her dining room. After placing the flowers back onto the table she made her way down the hall towards her garage door.
Toriel flicked the light on as she stepped down onto the cold cement. One thing she had found exceptionally pleasing about the neighboring town of Mt. Ebott was their county composting policies. It was quite a wonderful idea and this way community could directly give back to the local gardens and parks with little to no extra effort. She padded softly across the room and dispose of the plant stems in the appropriate yellow waste bin, which had happily provided by the county.
Maybe their guest had planned on staying or maybe leaving a note, but got pulled away suddenly?
Toriel crinkled the tissue and cellophane in her paws once more as she moved back towards the door. She kept the larger recycle container, also provided by the county, these humans sure have a knack for sustainability efforts , outside along the other side of her house since it was too big to keep in her garage. So it was easier for her to just keep a smaller recycle bin in the garage that needed to be emptied into the larger backyard one ever so often. Like last night, for example. This was simply much easier than trying to make a trip outside every time she or Frisk needed to recycle something.
CL INk!
Toriel hesitated one paw on the doorknob, the other halfway to the light switch. The bouquet wrapping had knock something, decidedly glass, over in her recycle bin. Her recently emptied recycle bin. Bending down she brushed aside the crinkling plastic and retrieved the glass bottle from the bottom of the bin.
A perfectly silly and uncontrollable laugh bubbled up out of her throat. Suddenly, it all made sense! All of the evidence pointed so obviously to him that it seemed ludicrous that she had not even considered it before now. To think this even fit his Modus Operandi! He would often go out of his way to remain unnoticed when offering his aid, by purposefully doing the very last thing you would expect him to help with. And now she would not even be able to repay him for dinner because he would be able to feign ignorance about the whole affair without anyone ever giving it a second thought! She, likely, would not even be able to thank him, or ask him about the flowers .
Toriel was pulled from her reverie as voices carried through the door to her. Clearly, Undyne and Papyrus held differing opinions about the poison content of the takeout boxes. She smiled to herself and knew that no matter how hard she tried to remove it, it was not going anywhere anytime soon. She returned the empty ketchup bottle to the recycle bin, dusted her hands off on her dress, and re-enter her home to tell her family that the salad and pastas were not, in fact, poisoned and if they would be so kind to help her set the table for dinner.