Chapter Text
"Thank you for coming to the annual family reunion."
"We were forced to come!!"
One had the appearance of a young man, with medium-length blue hair tied in a ponytail, a mask of a smile covering his face, pale, smooth skin... a deep tenor voice, and an elegant black suit.
"Well, you absolutely had to come here to make sure you're doing your job properly."
"Headquarters doesn't need us anymore!! Thanks to that drunken scientist!! The only thing they needed us for was opening portals to other universes, and now with that portal gun, they don't need us at all!"
"Yes!! Besides, they improved the agents' suits; they can even withstand our blows!!"
Several joined in the complaint. One simply watched, motionless, listening to the grievances.
With both arms crossed behind him, he gently moved two fingers... and a powerful pressure silenced them, causing them to fall... their bodies crushed by the immense force... their organs nearly ruptured.
At the now-expressed cries of pain and fear, One stopped, leaving them alone. Several were coughing and vomiting blood, their broken bones trying to heal... Lily glared reproachfully at her brother. One caught her eye and gave her an awkward wave.
"You wretch!!"
"Trash!!"
"You're just like Father!!"
One simply snapped his fingers, making their mouths disappear, and clapped his hands twice.
"Well, continuing with the meeting, a week ago I detected an anomaly... a peculiar one... A reboot."
Everyone swallowed hard.
"You know the rules. We're not allowed to travel through time and change things, and that doesn't mean we can reset things either."
Roger just rolled his eyes in annoyance. It must have been Abaddon trying to save the Feelings again... and failing again. Multipaul was supposed to be keeping an eye on him to avoid this idiot's gaze.
"Did you forget I can read your eyes, Roger?"
Damn it...
"You know something."
With a gentle flick of his pinky, he returned Roger's mouth to his.
"Tell me what you know..."
"That's none of your business, One. It's the headquarters' job, and that's it. As far as I know, you only have to make sure certain 'canonical' events happen."
"Do I have to remind you that you and Lily made Mexico lose Texas?" "Making it a big deal, making it canon?"
"Just get over it already, damn it!!"
One sighed with that same calmness, snapping his fingers to silence the others.
"That's all for today. Lily, stay here. I want to talk to you alone."
The other devourers left grumbling. Roger looked at his sister with concern... she and One gave him a reassuring nod... and then he left, leaving them alone.
"...What?"
"I heard you had a mental breakdown because of Elvira... Are you okay?"
"I'm better now. Is that all?"
"Lily... You've been to therapy these past few years, right?"
The girl looked away, trying not to cry.
"...Yes... but it's always the same crap."
"...Do you want to eat with me?" It's Glork in its own juice, your favorite since you were a baby—
The tone was warm and concerned, from an older brother to a younger sister.
—...With rainbow juice?—
—Yes, and...I also want to talk about...you know who—
Lily hugged herself, digging her nails into her skin...she didn't want to talk about that man.
—I-I...—
—Little sister...I promise and swear I've tried to track down that bastard for ages...but he has my appearance, my strength, and my skills, which makes him impossible to catch—
Small tears welled up; Lily trembled, remembering the touches and the gasps...of someone she thought she could trust.
—Will you be mine, Lily? I want you to join me and be by my side for eternity—
Bile burned in her throat; she fell to her knees and then vomited everything inside her.
—Lily!!—
.
.
.
. .
—.....You call them Krabby Patties?—
—That's right!! Straight from the Krusty Krab—
—Gaaaa!!—
—You can't eat burgers yet, Marky, sorry—
What was going on? After Mark from the other universe had entrusted his son with his mission a few hours earlier, another mission had arisen, a really easy one, to be honest... Defeat a talking plankton and destroy that bait bucket? Simple, only to then be invited... A pineapple as a house by a talking sponge? Honestly, he shouldn't be surprised anymore.
—How nice!! How does he breathe underwater?—
—Certainly... I don't even know how I breathe underwater either—
His AI assistant had told him that some universes don't follow common sense... apparently, this was one of them.
—More fried seaweed?—
—Yes, please, it's really delicious—
Another thing to add is that the sponge's name was Bob, a friendly, talking sponge who works part-time as a cook for headquarters and occasionally fights in another universe.
—And how long have you been working for headquarters?—
—Exactly 4 years, and I still can't believe it... Did you know that in one universe it rains chocolate? It was awesome!!—
—Really? Tell me the code so I can go later—
Marky was on the floor playing with his toy when he saw a strange snail looking at him curiously.
—Meow—
—ba ba ba—
—Meow—
—Prrrr—
The snail slithered onto him and then purred, tickling the baby.
—Careful with baby Gary—
—A meowing snail... wow—
—Sorry about the drool on my friend—
—It's okay. So, what are your hobbies?—
—Karate, jellyfish fishing, and hanging out with my best friend—
And so the afternoon passed, talking with a new friend.
.
.
.
Mark was on his way home. Today's shift had been awful, especially with his boss breathing down his neck.
—I really want to break that bastard's jaw—
He really just wanted to lie down on his bed and talk to William... if that was even possible... lately, his best friend kept disappearing and leaving him hanging with plans that used to work out, but suddenly didn't.
What was wrong with William? If he had several secrets, I'd listen closely.
Although it sounds hypocritical coming from him, considering he hides his Viltrumite side and that his father is Omni-Man.
"That's it, tomorrow I'll get the truth out of him, and I'll tell him what's what."
He walked purposefully... only to fall and land on his backside.
"Ouch!!...What the hell?...Where am I?"
What happened?...Where was I?...It was all a yellow hallway, doors everywhere, and ladders on the ceiling.
"...Hello?"
He looked around, trying not to panic, without noticing a strange creature among the walls, watching him curiously.