Chapter Text
Yasha, Fjord, and Essek stomped through the viney, humid jungle, growing steadily grumpier with each step.
Fjord gripped the Star Razor nervously, occasionally using it to hack through some particularly stubborn vegetation. What Fjord couldn’t cut through, Yasha could, the Skingorger at the ready. Essek stood between them, spellbook in hand, casting Detect Object over and over again.
“Well, the good news is, Jester is within a thousand feet of us,” he reported.
“Fat lot of good that does us.” Fjord huffed. “A thousand feet is a lot.”
“And we don’t even know if Beau and Caleb are traveling with them.” Yasha added.
“They could be dangling upside down by their ankles from some carnivorous tree for all we know.”
“What if Jester’s symbol of The Traveler fell off?”
“Have you met Jester?” Essek raised an eyebrow. “I find it hard to believe that any level of amnesia would make her forget her devotion to The Traveler.”
“You haven’t seen what this island does.” Fjord muttered. It was clear that Essek heard anyway, but he didn’t bother responding.
“They’re capable. They’re all capable.” Yasha said, though it was hard to tell if she was trying to reassure them or herself. “Maybe one of them isn’t brainwashed and is leading them to safety!”
This chipper comment fell flat.
“This way.” Essek pointed slightly west of where they were going.
They continued forward, not talking much. The mood was dour. And even if they did find the others, they had no clerics. The only purpose of the mission was to get their missing friends and bring them back to safety.
Caduceus and Veth were also out searching, since Caduceus could cast Detect Object. He was supposedly looking for Caleb, while Essek was searching for Jester (they’d agreed that Beau was the safest person to leave in a jungle if they had to. Yasha wasn’t happy about this). If this group succeeded, which the odds felt slim, they’d have to wait until Caduceus returned to the rendezvous point in order to do anything about it.
Essek cast Detect Object again. “They’re still this way. And they’re not moving.”
“Should we be worried about that?” Fjord asked. “They’re not moving. Does that mean they’re hurt?”
“Stop catastrophizing, they’re probably fine.” Yasha said, but she was wringing her fingers. “I mean, the villager’s memory loss seemed to make them happier, right? They’re probably just sitting around braiding their hair.”
This mental image was such a contrast to the surly mood that Fjord laughed and Essek cracked a grin.
“And, remember, the other villagers remembered their powers. All of them will probably remember that they’re badass and could kill anything in their way.” Yasha finished, now also smiling.
“Certainly.” Essek said smoothly. “I have full faith in them. Mostly.”
“Mostly.” Fjord grumbled. “I’m not catastrophizing, I’m just a little worried about them. Which is healthy!”
“Your concern is surely appreciated by them.” Yasha nodded. “They’ll be happy to hear that they care about you.”
“If they didn’t already know that, they should get their heads out of the gutter!” Fjord declared.
Even though it wasn’t a particularly loud or angry outburst, this still shocked everybody back into silence.
“They’re this way.” Essek said after a moment, correcting their course to be slightly more north.
Several more minutes passed. Essek had to cast Detect Object again after a while, and this time, he startled.
“They’re close. Just that way.”
The three of them pushed forward faster, using the Skingorger and Star Razor to tear through the branches and leaves. At last, they broke through to a sunny clearing.
Around them were knee-high grasses blowing pollen and tiny flower petals into the breeze. Birds flitted around in the trees around the edge of the glade, singing their chirpy songs.
“Jester!” Fjord hollered. “ JESTER! Where are you?”
“There!” Yasha pointed.
The three of them dashed across the glade, swishing through the grasses and breezes.
“Jester? Jester!” Fjord shouted.
A blue horned head poked itself out of the grasses. Fjord let out a cry of relief.
“Thank the gods!”
“Beau!” Yasha suddenly shouted. “And Caleb’s here, too!”
At last, the three of them made it through the grasses to the edge of the clearing, where their three friends were resting in the shade of an enormous tree. Jester was flipping through her sketchbook, adding doodles in the corners of the pages. Caleb was laying on his back, staring up at the clouds with his coat splayed out all along his sides. Beau was sitting with her back against the tree, fidgeting with one of her bracers and spinning the stem of a flower in her other hand.
All three of them looked…peaceful.
Jester’s eyes lit up. “Fjord! You found us!”
Caleb and Beau both looked at Jester, confused.
“Who’s Fjord?” Caleb asked.
A dreamy smile spread across Jester’s face. “He’s…he’s…he’s so wonderful, you guys. And he’s come to save us!”
“We don’t need saving.” Beau said, sounding sort of drunk. “Right? If you’re hurt, you would’ve told us, right?”
“No! No, nothing’s wrong…I just…hoped he would come for us.”
Fjord blinked.
“Is this normal?” Essek asked. “I was under the impression that this island stole all the memories of your past.”
“It’s…complicated.” Yasha sighed. “Different stuff stays and goes, depending on how important it is. But even then it’s sort of…dunno. There’s no pattern.”
“That didn’t clear up anything.” Essek sighed.
“Who are your friends, Fjord?” Jester asked, standing up.
“Uh - uh -” Fjord gulped. “This here is Yasha, and next to her is Essek.”
“Yasha?” Beau asked. “Wait - I remember Yasha!”
“You do?!” Yasha blurted, as Beau jumped up, darted towards her, and hugged her. “Whoa - okay.”
Essek coughed, which may have been hiding a laugh.
“Your muscles are nice.” Beau said, muffled by Yasha’s clothes.
“Great idea, Beau!” Jester said, bouncing towards Fjord and hugged him too. Jester was much closer to Fjord’s height than Yasha was to Beau’s, so this hug was far more comfortable.
“Oof.” Fjord said, returning the hug. “You’re strong.”
“It’s okay, Fjord, I like your muscles too.” Jester said, loudly.
“Well, this is good news.” Essek said neatly, snapping his spellbook shut and returning it to whatever pocket dimension it had come from. “I assume we can return back to the beach now - uh, Caleb, is something wrong?”
Caleb was staring right at Essek from his laying-down position on the ground. Which was odd, because Caleb usually loathed eye contact.
“Return?” Jester asked, pulling slightly away from the hug and instead wrapping her arms around Fjord’s waist. “Wait, why?”
“So….so we can return your memories.” Fjord said. It was hard to tell whether he was nervous because of what he was saying, or nervous because of the close proximity to Jester’s face.
“Memories?” Beau said, also now looking up at Yasha. “You didn’t say I was missing memories.”
“Ja, ja, we know, something’s wrong.” Caleb said, picking up the flower Beau had been playing with and spinning it in his palms. “But if that’s causing a problem, why regain the memories at all?”
“What? What kind of logic is that?” Essek couldn’t help but say. Which he shouldn’t have bothered to say, because Caleb resumed staring at him intently.
“Sound logic.” Caleb shrugged. “Something is wrong because we’re missing our memories. If we don’t get them back, or don’t want to, nothing is wrong.”
Essek sighed again. It was clear he was regretting getting involved in the entire debacle. “Come on, now. We’re going to head back to the beach.”
“Yasha!” Beau cried happily. “Oh my gods, you should carry me again! If we’re going to the beach.”
“Oh.” Yasha said, glancing down slightly at Beau’s smiling face. “I - I guess, sure.”
“Yay!”
Even if it hadn’t been clear that something was wrong before, it was obvious now. Beauregard would never say yay in that tone before.
Yasha grabbed Beau around the waist and flung her up and onto her broad shoulders.
Beau grinned broadly. Jester gave her a thumbs-up behind Yasha’s back.
“Actually, Fjord, I should pick you up!” Jester said, turning back towards him.
“Wait, what?” Fjord said. “Are - are you sure that’s advisable?”
“Well, I can’t carry you back the whole way.” Jester said with a shrug. “But I can do it some of the way! It’ll be fun!”
“Fun!?” Fjord repeated.
Jester looked back over at Yasha and Beau, who were standing expectantly, waiting to return to the beach.
“Hm. I’m not strong enough to do that. But I can do - this! ”
In one smooth move, Jester scooped Fjord up under the knees and into a princess carry.
“Whoa - hey!” he cried, face flushing.
“Yeah, Jester!” Beau cheered.
Jester beamed and spun around.
“WHOA!” Fjord cried, grabbing onto Jester’s neck on instinct.
“Come on, you guys!” Beau said. “Keep up!”
Essek scowled at the display of ridiculousness and turned back towards Caleb, who had resumed his cloud-watching.
“Come on, Caleb.” he said, drifting over to his side. “We have to go. Your friends are waiting.”
Caleb limply extended a hand up towards Essek. Wordlessly.
Essek sighed, but extended his as well and grabbed it.
He was expecting to help Caleb to his feet, but in a moment of weakness, Caleb yanked hard, sending Essek toppling down onto the ground with an “ Ooof! ”
Fjord, Yasha, and Beau all chuckled.
Essek scowled again, especially when he heard Caleb snickering as well.
“We still have to go.” Essek grumbled, sitting back up.
“Why?” Caleb asked.
“Cause we need to return your memories. I’m sure you’ll be far happier with them.”
“Are you sure? I feel pretty happy like this.”
Caleb held up their intertwined fingers. Essek’s face flushed a deeper purple.
“We could stay, you know.” Caleb said with a small smile, his voice lowered so it was hard for the others to hear. “Stay here. Just the two of us. And all the books we could want.”
“Uh, Essek?” Yasha asked. “Are you guys okay?”
Essek wasn’t listening.
“We could even build a tower by the sea.” Caleb said dreamily. “Just you and I.”
There was an ethereal pause.
“Oh. My. Gods.” Jester squealed. “Are you guys going to kiss?!”
“NO!” Essek shouted, dropping Caleb’s hand and standing back up quickly. “No. Nothing.” He brushed the dirt and grass off of his clothes hurriedly. “We have to get back to the beach and to the others. We have to get your memory back.”
Fjord squirmed in Jester’s grasp a little. “Uh - is there a reason you’re insisting on carrying me?”
Jester shrugged, but the effect was kind of muted. “Why not? It’s fun!”
“You’re aware that’s a bridal carry, right?” Yasha helpfully reported.
Jester gasped. “Oh my gods! You’re right! Fjord, oh my gods, we should get married!”
“WHAT?!” Fjord shouted.
Essek snickered. “I mean, you are the captain, right? Can’t you ordain marriages?”
“Not if I’m getting married! And don’t encourage her!”
Jester’s face fell. “Aw, man. Wait. You’re a ship’s captain?”
“Yes! No! I can’t ordain marriages!”
“That’s a shame.” Jester said. “Also my arms hurt. So I have you put you down now. I still wouldn’t be opposed to marrying you, though.”
Jester guided Fjord back down onto his feet - not before kissing him on the cheek, though.
“We’re - we’re - we’re -” Fjord spluttered, “We’re getting distracted! We need to head back to the beach so you can all get your memories back! ”
“Why, though?” Beau piped up from Yasha’s shoulders. “Seems like a lot of unnecessary trouble for all of you guys. We’re all happy, right?”
“Right!” Jester chimed, smiling at the very flustered Fjord.
“Right.” Caleb said. “So if we’re happy, why do you insist?”
“Because it will make you happier.” Yasha said in her usual gentle manner. “You have…there are…people. Waiting on you back home.”
“We have each other.” Beau said. “And now you guys. Right?”
“Right!” Jester said. “We’re happy here.”
“We have to go.” Essek said anxiously. “Come on, Caleb.”
“Alright, fine.” Caleb sighed, standing up on his own at last. “I’ll think about it as we walk.”
“Think about what?”
Fjord jumped and spun around, a smile growing on his face. “Caduceus! Veth! You found us!”
“Who?” Beau asked.
Yasha spun around to see Caduceus and Veth hurrying out of the trees towards them.
“You made it.” Essek smiled. “See, everybody, we don’t even have to go anywhere. You can get your memories back right here and now.”
Veth broke out of the tree line and dashed for Caleb, colliding with his waist in a hug. “Caleb, you worried us so much! You can’t just run away like that!”
Caleb looked down at Veth, somewhat nervously. “Who are you?”
Veth’s jaw dropped. “DEUCES!!”
“What?” Caduceus asked.
“Do Caleb first! He - he -”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Caleb asked.
“YES.” Veth said forcefully. “We’re - we’re -”
“Veth here cares about you very much.” Fjord said gently.
Caleb’s eyes focused, then unfocused. “Wait - Veth - yes! I do remember you! Oh, my gods, I’m so happy you found us!”
He tried to pick her up and twirl her around, except it didn’t work. Caleb almost dropped her onto the ground and then almost tripped onto his face.
“Nevermind, Caduceus. Get someone else who needs it more.” Veth smiled.
“See?” Essek said, patting Caleb on the shoulder. “You do have people waiting for you. Do. Did. Something.”
“I have more friends?” Caleb asked excitedly, spinning around so that both Veth and Essek were in his line of sight.
Essek heaved a sigh. “Sure. Right.”
Caduceus now approached Beau, who was still slung over Yasha’s shoulders.
“Hey. Hey, now.” Beau said, leaning away from the cleric’s outstretched hands. “I didn’t agree to this yet. Who says I’m even missing memories?”
Caduceus heaved a sigh. “What’s your mentor’s name?”
“Does it matter?”
“I think it would. You care about her.”
“Cared. I don’t see why it’s important.”
“What’s your brother’s name?”
“That also doesn’t matter. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
“Whoa.” Yasha said. “That was profound.”
“Yeah, right?” Beau smiled proudly. “It definitely seemed like the supercool wisdom you’d like.”
Caduceus stretched out a hand again, but Beau leaned away again in time. “Whoa, no, no. I still didn’t agree.”
He sighed. “I don’t get it. You seem to remember Yasha just fine.”
“Yeah. ‘Course I do. Is there something else more important to remember?”
Yasha’s cheeks went pink, but Beau couldn’t really see that.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” Caduceus tried again, but Beau squirmed out of the way, almost slipping out of Yasha’s hold.
Across the clearing, Jester was still shamelessly flirting with Fjord. “Do you have a first mate? Can’t first mates ordain marriages?”
Fjord looked back at Beau, then at Jester again. “Well, uh, she’s out of commission at the moment -”
Jester’s face flopped into a sulk. “Do you not want to get married? Oh my gods, do you not like me?!”
Fjord’s face flushed emerald. “I like you very much! Uh - I would probably like being married to you very much, but I don’t think you’re in the headspace to…uh…properly consent.”
“Of course I am!” Jester bounced. “I’ve never been better.”
Nearby, Essek sighed. “I can’t believe that this is happening.”
“Neither can I.” Caleb said, looping his arms around Essek’s shoulders and leaning his head on the other wizard’s shoulder in an obnoxious bear hug. “Everybody knows that only married captains can ordain other marriages.”
Essek rotated his head to make eye contact with Caleb, who smiled.
Essek looked away so that nobody would see him blushing as well.
“I can’t remember you remembering stupid hotboy before me.” Veth harrumphed to nobody in particular.
“Beau.” Yasha said seriously. “You…you deserve your memories back.”
Beau looked at Yasha, trying to make eye contact from over her shoulder.
“I - I - don’t see what the big deal is.” she said with a huff. “I’m happy, you’re happy, why change that?”
“I would be happier if you had your memories back.” Yasha said quietly.
Beau paused. “Huh?”
“We’ve had good times together in the past. Don’t you want those back?”
“We have? We…we have.” Beau knit his brows.
“Yeah.” Caduceus said gently. “Is that okay? Do you want those back?”
Beau nodded slowly.
Yasha set Beau back down on her own two feet. Caduceus extended a hand and tapped her just on the shoulder.
The diamond dust in his free hand swirled up into the air of its own volition, before exploding like a tiny firework in front of Beau’s face.
Her eyes drifted out of focus for a second, before righting themselves, and Beau stumbled a bit.
“Whoa. Holy fuck.”
“Welcome back.” Caduceus said.
“Beau!” Yasha cried, immediately grabbing Beau in a hug, and unlike Caleb, she successfully twirled Beau around in midair.
“BLARGH.” Beau cried, once Yasha had set her back down again. “GROSS. That was awful. Thanks, Caduceus.”
“Anytime.” Caduceus said with a grin.
Jester stared at Beau in horror. “BEAU! Why’d you get your memories back!?”
“There’s so much you’re missing.” she said, running forward and grabbing Jester’s hands. “Jester. Get your memories back. You deserve this.”
“I’m happy like this.” she murmured.
Fjord put a hand on her shoulder. “There’s a lot more to your life right now than even you remember.”
“Your mother wouldn’t want you like this, you know.” Beau said, uncharacteristically gentle.
Jester lifted her eyes up to Caduceus suddenly. “I have a mother?!”
Caduceus’ smile was oddly sad. “Yes. She loves you very much. And you love her too - you want to remember her, I promise.”
“I have a mother.” Jester repeated.
“And a father, as well.” Veth said. “Who I’m sure would be very disappointed if you died out here.”
Yasha and Fjord chuckled. Essek began inching slowly away - this moment felt very personal, but Caleb wasn’t so interested in moving, so it didn't really work.
Jester nodded. “Okay. I’ll get my memories back. What do I have to do?”
“Just stand still.” Caduceus said. Once again, he touched Jester’s shoulder, and the diamond dust sparkled and swirled before exploding in a tiny firework.
Jester stumbled on her feet for a moment, steadied by Fjord.
“Whoa. Shit, man, that was weird.” she said.
“You’re feeling okay?” Fjord asked.
Jester nodded, then shook her head like she was trying to clear it. “Yes - no - yes, mostly, I think.”
“Good.” Fjord said awkwardly.
Veth snickered.
Jester flushed when she made eye contact with Fjord. “I - uh - I’m sorry, Fjord. I feel like I made you uncomfortable -”
“No, no, it’s…uh…fine.” Fjord said, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. It did not look fine. “You weren’t in the right mind. We can just forget that it happened, okay?”
“Sure.” Jester said. “Sure.”
Beau and Yasha exchanged a glance, then tried not to smile.
“See?” Essek said to Caleb, who was still hanging onto his shoulders. “They’re fine. You can get your memories back, too, just like them now.”
“I still don’t want to.” Caleb grumbled, half into Essek’s shoulder and neck.
Veth looked at Caleb anxiously.
“He might genuinely not want to.” she said, shoulders slumping a bit.
The rest of the Nein exchanged anxious looks.
“But we can’t leave him like this.” Fjord rumbled.
“No way.” Caduceus said. “That just feels so…wrong.”
“I don’t want them back.” Caleb repeated. “I’m happy like this. It’s okay if you guys want your memories back. I don’t.”
Essek sighed, then ducked underneath Caleb’s arms so he wasn’t being clung onto anymore. Despite this, Caleb insisted on holding onto both of his hands so they were facing each other.
“I was serious before, you know,” he said. “We could stay here forever.”
“Believe me, Caleb,” Essek sighed. “You really wouldn’t want that, least of all with me.”
“But I do, though!” Caleb insisted. “We…I…I don’t know. I feel like we’ve done amazing things. Think of what we could do. Together. ”
“There is no ‘we’. And that’s not your fault, truly, it’s mine.” Essek said, dropping Caleb’s hands and crossing his arms to make a point
“Your fault?” Caleb said. “See, this is why I don’t want my memories back! What do you know that would make you not want to stay with me? With us? ”
Beau and Yasha exchanged another glance. Veth narrowed her eyes.
“Caleb, this is getting ridiculous.” she said. “You deserve your memories back, too. Think of all the amazing times we’ve had together! Don’t you want to remember that?”
The expression on Caleb’s face was torn. Very torn.
“I…I…”
Jester walked up to them. “How’s this,” she said. “We can give them back to you, and if you decide you don’t want them, we can take them away again.”
“We can do that?” Yasha hissed.
“SH!” Fjord elbowed her discreetly. Or tried to - it was still in full view of everybody.
“Sorry.”
Caleb’s face brightened. “Oh! Okay. Ja, that sounds good.”
“Perfect.” Caduceus said, stepping forward. “Okay, hold still.”
For the final time, the diamond dust glittered and swirled on its own, before poofing away. And unlike Beau and Jester, who stumbled, Caleb fully collapsed.
“WHOA!” Veth cried, jumping out of the way just in time. Unfortunately, Caleb toppled backwards…into Essek, who tried to catch him.
“OOF!”
Essek lowered Caleb to the ground and then whipped his hands away, standing back up.
“Caleb!” Caduceus said. “Are you okay?”
Caleb’s eyes were open, but he looked vaguely sick - all pale.
“Uh - ja, I’m fine - just dizzy.”
He sat up, holding a hand to his forehead.
“Water.” Yasha said, quickly looking around and patting her belt for a canteen. “Do you want some water?”
All of the Mighty Nein crowded around Caleb on the ground except for Essek, who stood away and to the side a bit.
Yasha handed Caleb a canteen of water, and he sucked it down greedily.
“What happened?!” Jester cried. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” he said. “You can back away, I’m not going to die.”
Everybody shuffled maybe half a step away.
“Your memories are back, right?” Veth asked nervously.
Caleb nodded. “Everything.”
“I should go.” Essek said suddenly. “I did what I came here to do.”
“Oh my gods!” Jester cried. “You helped them find us, didn’t you!”
“Uh - yes.” Essek said nervously.
“Thank you so much!” she squealed. “Oh my gods, we owe you another favor now, don’t we?”
“Yes. And really, I should be going. Let you guys…handle whatever this is going to be.”
He started to turn away, but Caleb said, “Wait.”
Essek paused. Barely.
“I’m sorry.” Caleb said. “We don’t have to talk about it now - or ever - but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Essek muttered. “Just forget about it.”