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Eddie sighed as he closed the door to Chris’ room after wishing him good night. He finally allowed himself to breathe after the event earlier in the day, hearing the organiser at the chess tournament falsely assuming his father was Chris’ dad, Chris getting sick, and then finally driving back to his parent’s house, where he took Chris’ key belongings for the night.
It felt good being able to unpack all of Chris’ bedding from LA and make up the bed for his son in his new house in El Paso. Knowing that down the hallway from Eddie’s bedroom Chris was sleeping. Him and Chris were finally sleeping under the same roof after months of separation.
He knows deep down he should not have let the gap between father and son widen over the months but knowing how upset Chris was originally, Eddie was ashamed of his actions. He believed he didn’t deserve forgiveness for the way he lied to his son about Kim.
Now that they were living in the same house once again, Eddie hoped in a few weekends he could bring Chris to the lake, talk about Shannon, and try explaining what happened with Kim.
He could never justify his actions for his past self but hoped that being open and vulnerable with Chris would allow for the pair to grow stronger. He could admit to Chris and himself that having feelings and emotions did not make you any less of a man. A thing he struggled with for most of his childhood and early adult years.
Eddie reflected back to the conversation he had had with his mother only a few hours earlier. He had been so confident in himself when confronting her about Chris hating chess. In the midst of the conversation with his mom, he brought up the familiar memory of him being 14 and wanting to quit ballroom dancing. He stated it was no longer fun once his mother pressured him in every competition for the sake of trophies and maybe a scholarship.
But that wasn’t the real reason he had wanted to quit ballroom dancing.
No, that reason was Ethan.
Ethan who he hadn’t thought about in years until just now.
Thinking back to that memory nearly 20 years ago came with it a rush of panic, a rush of disgust, and a refusal to admit what had happened.
But now, Eddie was nearly in his mid-thirties. He had grown as a man and as a human being, he can’t believe how he reacted back then.
But also, Eddie can’t believe that the memory of Ethan hadn’t entered his mind for twenty years, at least not until just now.
All of a sudden Eddie felt tears slowing rolling down his cheeks.
What? Why is he crying?
How can the thought of Ethan, and the actions Eddie made as a boy, a boy who was always told to be the man of the house, suddenly bring on all of these emotions?
And then it hit him.
Oh. Oh. OH. Shit.
A 14-year-old Eddie zipped up his gym bag having just changed back into his street clothes following another night of dance rehearsals in the lead up to the big ballroom dance competition that was happening next month.
He hated this small claustrophobic room in which he had to get changed in for practice twice a week.
But because the number of girls heavily outnumbered the number of guys who participated in ballroom dancing, the guys drew the short straw in the community hall and got the smaller of the two useable rooms the dancers used to get changed at the end of rehearsals.
“So, I see Jimmy and Marco didn’t even bother to get changed tonight. They ran out of here as quickly as they could.”
Eddie turned around to face Ethan, the only other male ballroom dancer, apart from Jimmy and Marco who was in his ballroom class.
Ethan was slightly taller than Eddie with an athletic build, deep brown eyes, and tightly curled hair.
“Yeah, I heard Marco’s mom offered Jimmy a ride home but only if they left right now as she wanted to get home as soon as possible” Eddie stated.
“You didn’t go with them?”
“Nah, you know me, it’s only three blocks to walk home from here. And anyway, Marco and Jimmy live in the opposite direction, so it doesn’t make sense for Marco’s mom to drop me off.”
“Can’t believe your mom doesn’t come to pick you up after rehearsal,” Ethan huffed.
“Yeah well you know it’s hard for her being on her own with dad always being away from work,” Eddie explained, taking time to pull on his hoodie and tie his shoelaces. “Adriana is still a big handful in the evenings and if I ever asked for a lift mom would complain about it messing up Adriana’s bedtime and she just picked up Sophia from baseball practice. It’s easier not to be a bother when dad expects me to help mom out as much as possible.”
After finishing tying his right shoe, Eddie turned his head back towards his bag to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.
“But she was the one who persuaded you to take up ballroom dancing in the first place!” exclaimed Ethan.
“Well, I was the one who saw the poster advertising the classes and she was the one who then went on and on how there were never enough male dancers when she did ballroom dancing briefly in college. She thought it would be a good way to get me out of the house. She and my sisters still make the effort to come see me dance with Gaby every competition we have together. Knowing I get the trophies always helps too.” Eddie chuckled.
“If you say so man. My mom just waits for me in the car park. You know I’d offer you a ride home if it wasn’t for mom being really tight with the fuel budget right now you know?”
As Ethan pulled Eddie’s shoulder so he would face him. As Eddie turned to face Ethan, he couldn’t help noticing the close proximity the two boys were now in.
“Yeah, I know. Don’t sweat it. I enjoy the fresh air after rehearsal.”
At that moment he noticed something new in Ethan’s brown eyes, he never found himself staring at the other fourteen-year-old before.
But now, with his face so close to his, he realised the tight curls in Ethan’s brown hair. The dimples in his cheeks. How soft those lips looked.
“I can’t believe there’s a dozen hot teenage girls getting sweaty dancing around us each rehearsal… yet here I am… dazzled by the way you move your body to the beat of each song… those gorgeous brown eyes you have…” murmured Ethan.
Before Eddie knew it, Ethan had closed the distance between the two of them and had taken Eddie’s lips between his, the start of a kiss.
Eddie stood still.
He couldn’t grasp what was happening at that moment. He was fourteen. He hadn’t gotten the courage to ask out a single girl, let alone kiss one.
But here now? Kissing Ethan?
He didn’t know this could be an option.
He allowed himself to close his eyes and deepen the kiss between him and Ethan.
It was… what? Wet? Messy? Extremely hot?
He had nothing else to compare it to.
But he liked it.
Then that rational part of his brain caught up to him.
Guys didn’t kiss other guys. That’s not what the church said.
He had never heard from his parents that this was an acceptable option.
His father was across the country working. That made him the man of the house. This was not how the man of the house acts.
To break the spell between both boys he shoved Ethan away him.
“What the hell man?? What the fuck are you doing? Guys can’t go around kissing other guys! That’s unnatural.” Eddie roared.
“Oh please Eddie, I know you liked that! Come on!” Ethan exclaimed. “Ballroom dancing? That’s not exactly where you find the jocks at school. They’re all on the football field. And you chose this. You deepened that kiss.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This never happened.”
And with that, Eddie slung his gym bag over his shoulder to make his way back home.
Once reaching his house, Eddie found himself on the brink of a panic attack. He quickly marched straight into his room and slammed his door shut.
However, he did not get the solace of peace his mind was desperately looking for as two seconds later, his bedroom door flung open as an angry Sophia stormed in.
“Eddie! What’s your problem man!” exclaimed Sophia. “In case you’ve forgotten, our bedrooms being next to one another means when you slam your door my whole room shakes! Not to mention I was halfway through painting my nails and you slamming the door gave me such a fright! I messed up my entire index thing and now I’m going to have to spend time removing the polish and start over!”
As Sophie waited for her brother to come up with some resemblance of an apology, she stopped in her track as she noticed tears streaming down her older brother’s face as he silently gasped trying to control his panic.
“Hey! Hey Eddie! What’s that matter? I’m sorry for yelling. Did something happen at practice?” panicked Sophia. “Try taking a deep breath. Do I need to go grab mom? I know she just got Adriana to settle.”
“NO. Don’t grab mom. Please I’m begging you. She can’t know this.” Eddie gasped.
“What are you talking about? Whatever happened can’t be that big of a deal for me not to go get her.”
“No, you don’t understand Soph… mom can’t know… I… at rehearsal today… I… Ethan… me… we… kissed. Oh my god I can’t believe it? I don’t know what happened… we just kissed?”
Sophia spent a moment staring at her brother with a blank face. It took her another few seconds to gather her thoughts.
“Woah woah woah. What? You kissed Ethan? How did this happen?”
“I didn’t kiss him! He kissed me! And I’m freaking out here Soph! Because I think I liked it? God am I gay? I can’t be gay. This is my first kiss ever. I can’t do this. I need to be straight,” cried Eddie.
“Hey. Hey. You don’t know that. You said it was your first kiss? Your body was just reacting to the hormones of it all. This means nothing,” Sophia reassured.
“You think?”
“Yeah, hey don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.”
Sophia rubbed Eddie’s shoulder gently as she tried to get her brother to calm down.
Eddie’s breathing was finally starting to get back to a normal pace after taking another deep breath.
“Ah okay you’re right. God how embarrassing is it to be so upset in front of your little sister?” Eddie spoke as his cheeks got redder with his eyes still puffy from the crying. “And over something like this?”
“Hey now. Remember, I’m only fifteen months younger than you. I’m not that little,” Sophia stated before hesitantly continuing… “And Eddie… you do know being gay isn’t the worst thing in the world?”
“I know… it’s just… Soph… I just know that I’m not and this freaked me out just in case I was wrong. God I can’t see Ethan again. It’ll just be… weird. I’ve gotta quit.”
“No, what? Are you sure? Don’t let him be the reason you quit. Mom will be upset.”
“Eh. You know what. This isn’t even the main reason. I just can’t… It stopped being fun a while ago. After mom got so obsessed about how many trophies I won.”
Eddie took a breath before continuing.
“Did you know it was like the only thing she would update dad on when they have their calls while he’s across the country? I guess my average grades can’t compete with your As and Adriana is always doing something cute and new. Dad will probably be grateful I’m no longer doing an unmanly sport.”
Eddie tried to smile at Sophia, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You matter too! Hey, how about I help you fend off mom tomorrow when you tell her you want to stop ballroom dancing. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“Thanks soph. That’s sounds good.”
Eddie finally felt calmer after the events that unfolded that night. He was so lucky to have a sister like Sophia.
She always looked out for him being the popular girl.
Even though he was older, he was always a bit of an awkward guy. He didn’t have a huge number of friends of his own.
But Sophia always knew how to include him in their wider circle of friends.
“Eddie, how about I invite you to our hang at the lake this weekend?” Sophia offered. “You know the invite is always open, and you haven’t hung out with the rest of the crew in ages. Jessie told me about how she’s invited a new girl to come with. Heard her name is Shannon, she’s apparently artsy and also into 80s movies like you. You weirdo.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny Soph. Many people like films from the 80s. But yeah, that sounds good. The lake should be perfect at this time of year.”
The next morning Eddie woke up from a night of restless sleep.
But as he woke up to dawn (he had yet to reattach curtain rails to his fixer upper of a house) he remembered what happened yesterday.
Chris was sleeping in his house. Chris was sleeping in the room next across the hall.
A smirk appeared on Eddie’s face. He stood up for himself against his parents.
And in doing so, he stood up for Chris and his hatred for chess. It was good to feel proud of himself. Knowing that he finally being a better dad to Chris.
But once again he remembered the revelation he made last night. The memories that caused him to toss and turn all night.
Ethan.
It wasn’t the memory of Ethan in itself that caused him to not sleep. No. It was what that kissed he shared with Ethan represented.
He had only thought back a few times to that night.
He had grimaced at how outwardly homophobic he had acted in the moment. He has gay friends now as an adult. Hen, Karen, hell even Buck when he came out to his as bisexual last year. His best friend. And thinking back to his reaction as a fourteen-year-old boy had made him ashamed.
After abruptly quitting the ballroom dancing competition he had muttered an apology to Ethan at school weeks later. He stated that he was sorry if he had come across as rude and admitted he had quit ballroom dancing due to his mother. That it no longer gave him joy because of his mother’s obsession with him taking home as many trophies as possible.
Ethan had scoffed at him at the time but Eddie had decided to ignore him and that was the end of their interactions.
Now though as Eddie reflected once more on those events nearly twenty years previously, he wondered.
He knew he had grown up a lot since he was a young teenage boy and regretted ever equating two men kissing to being bad.
But Eddie couldn’t help but think that before the sudden kiss with Ethan, Eddie had really enjoyed their friendship during their ballroom dancing rehearsals.
Despite always having female partners for their dancing, Eddie always enjoyed goofing off with Ethan in between rehearsal. He realised that when he was goofing off, back then he would have stated it would’ve been to get the attention from all the girls in his dance studio.
But now thinking about it… was it really Ethan’s attention he was trying to get?
Never feeling satisfied until it was Ethan who made him feel validated for his antics?
Eddie didn’t know and he groaned as he rubbed his palms over his face in frustration. It didn’t matter now.
But now.
Here Eddie was.
Back in Texas.
Back in El Paso.
Finally feeling the sense of relief of reconnecting back with Chris.
He should be happy. He is happy. But why does it feel like something is missing.
He longed to be back in LA. Longed to be back with the 118.
Longed to be back with Buck. Fuck. No.
He can’t do this right now.
He just got Chris back. He can’t do anything with this now. He refuses to let his mind wander anywhere near that space in his heart that threatens to grasp the essence of his very being so very tight that he thinks he’ll forget how to breathe.
So he doesn’t. He can’t.
Later that morning Chris and Eddie have managed to successfully have their first breakfast together in the house now that Chris is back to living with him.
Eddie grimaces at the thought of already having to prepare the awkward visit of going back to his folks to grab the rest of Chris’ stuff. He knows he’ll be facing an awkward conversation with his father following him ditching him at the chess tournament.
He’ll have to face the music soon but it wont matter in the long run. Because Chris is here. His son is with him.
Eddie was clearing the dishes from breakfast while Chris was busy gaming on his laptop in his room. Sigh. Eddie really did need to go back to his folk’s place today. Chris will be missing his gaming set up and he knows it’ll take a few hours just to unplug and set everything back up here.
Just as he was starting to come up with a gameplan, a knock echoed at the front door.
Opening the door, he was fully expecting the wrath of his mother or father but was surprised when neither person greeted him at the other side of the door.
“Sophia? What are you doing here?” exclaimed Eddie.
“Hi Eddie. Mom called me last night. Told me that you strode right into the house and took Chris and a bag of his things and left like that.” Sophie explained.
“Also wow thanks Eddie. You’ve been back in Texas for a whole four weeks and still haven’t invited me to the house that you bought. Love you too. I know I live a 50-minute drive out, but you know I would’ve made the trip had you invited me.”
“Hi to you too. Now look. To be completely honest with you it’s not like I grabbed Chris kicking and screaming,” Eddie justified. “He was in the car. He wanted to come home with me. And with the house… Well, it’s in a bit of a state. I’m still getting a few things polished before I invite guests around.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard all about the fixer upper from mom. You’d think it’s her house with all the opinions she has about it. You know what I also heard? That you left dad all by himself at a chess tournament after dashing away with Chris. That takes guts.”
“Well, that was me being petty after I heard from the chess tournament organisers that dad has been going around telling everyone that he’s Chris’ father and not his grandfather. And you know what? That stung. So yeah. Not the most mature response on my part but it felt good at the time.”
Sophia could see the little smirk on her brother’s face. Damn her brother was so proud of himself for his pettiness against their dad.
“Anyway…” continued Sophia. “Following that long conversation with Mom last night, I offered to drive myself over there this morning and fill my car with the rest of Chris’ stuff and bring it over.”
“Soph, you didn’t have to do that,” Eddie objected.
“Nonsense, it gave me a good excuse to come nosy at your new place and see my brilliant nephew. Even if we have dinner every couple of months or so, it’s good to see him.” Sophia explained as she looked over Eddie’s shoulder into his new house.
Behind Eddie’s shoulder Sophia could she a large tear in the wallpaper and what looked to be… a broken bookcase in the wall? Damn her older brother and his poor life choices.
“Well thanks anyway. I really appreciate it. I imagine mom and dad are furious at me,” sighed Eddie.
“Actually, they aren’t. I think they’re more shocked than anything. But I think they know deep down Chris is where he belongs. With you.”
Sophia ponders as she continues, “I wonder if they grasped too tightly to Chris now that Adriana is out of state for college. They’re empty nesters. Now I’m not justifying their actions, but I can see where it may have come from.”
Eddie takes a big sigh. He appreciates that his folks were able to look after Chris in his time of need, but over the past few months it really seemed they had forgotten that Eddie was his father.
“I understand. I do. But Soph, the way they tried to smother Chris. I know they care and want what’s best for him, but Chris is my son. Not theirs. Just because they screwed up their first son doesn’t mean they can try rehash with my son. I want him to have a relationship with them, but they don’t get to replace me.”
“I know Eddie. But now you can look to the future. Chris is back with you. This is good.”
“Yeah. It’s great. I’m thinking about taking Chris to the lake in a few weeks’ time once he’s settled here. Where I can be honest and open about my past mistakes.”
“The lake?” Sophia enquired. “That’ll be lovely.”
“Yeah it will. I was just thinking about how you went out of your way to invite me to that hang all those years ago at the lake. That was the first time I met Shannon,” Eddie reminisced. “While nothing clicked fully at first during that meeting. It was nice to meet her in that very moment. God I was so awkward back then, but she talked to me out of pity, and I’ll never regret going to the lake that day and meeting her.”
A breath of silence swept through the two siblings for several moments.
Sophia looked up to Eddie to meet his eyes.
“Do you remember that conversation we had that night when I invited to the lake?” murmured Sophia.
“I do,” admitted Eddie. “Actually, me telling mom yesterday that Chris hated Chess club brought up a lot of feelings. It reminded me of me telling her how I no longer wanted to do ballroom dancing.”
“Oh Eddie,” Sophia sighed.
“She still doesn’t know the real reason why I decided to stop going. And last night I panicked.”
“Panicked? Eddie what for?” exclaimed Sophia.
“I panicked because I think I’ve been lying to myself for all these years,” whispered Eddie.
“Eddie…”
“Don’t get me wrong, I loved Shannon, I still do. But now thinking back… I just wonder” Eddie stated. “If I was honest with myself back then would my life have been fully different? And I panic because thinking that way makes me feel like I betrayed Shannon, betrayed Chris. Failed at being his father. I can’t imagine a world where I would never have been his father.”
Sophia stares at Eddie for a minute.
Fully taking in what her brother was implying.
She had thought back to the night a few times while growing up and had seen brief signs later in their teenage years. Sophia never had the strength to bring it up to her brother, who seemed so insecure and scared about the prospects of what this may mean for him as person.
“You see…” Eddie started. “Thinking back about Ethan… made me realise that maybe… maybe some thoughts I had about him weren’t strictly platonic at the time and now… I’m thinking… I don’t know…”
“What Eddie? You know you can tell me anything.”
“It’s just… there’s a guy from work. From the 118. I can’t really just call him a guy from work. Because he’s my partner. My everything besides Chris. And now… I’m here in El Paso. I can’t. He probably doesn’t even feel the same way. But god he’s now living in my house? Or what was my house. He became my subleaser. He gave up his fancy loft just so I didn’t have to worry and to make it easier for me to transition to here to be with Chris.”
“Wait… this guy… he’s living in your old house?? Eddie… I mean… that seems like a lot. Have you told him about your feelings?”
“What? No! Jeez Soph,” sputtered Eddie. “I only made connections that maybe there’s something more this morning! But now… And anyway, just because my best friend is bisexual does not mean he’s hopelessly in love with-“
“-WHAT? Eddie??” shouted Sophia, “He’s bisexual! You totally have a chance!”
“You’re not listening Soph! This means nothing! And anyway! I’m just patching things up with Chris right now. I refuse to uproot his life all over again just on a maybe. No. I won’t risk it.”
“Eddie…”
“I said no.”
“Hmmm… okay. I think you’re wrong. I think you need to have more faith in this guy… and yourself and in Chris. We can talk about this later. Anyway, are you going to come help me get these boxes out of my car or what?”
Eddie huffed as he begrudgingly followed Sophia out to her car, hoping she would drop the Buck subject.
Eddie couldn’t believe it.
What had even happened this past week? He was already feeling immense guilt from having to leave Chris in El Paso with his folks again.
But he promised.
Just one week.
He’ll back.
And Chris, bless him, fully understood. It was Buck.
Buck needed Eddie.
When Eddie first got the facetime call from Buck, he expected him to yap at him at how bored he was being stuck home sick, a minor cold, which he had informed him of via text that morning.
How wrong he was.
A freaking chemical weapon attack.
Some sort of explosion at a lab? And the entire 118 crew, minus Buck, were trapped inside without the prospect of knowing when, or if, they would be allowed out.
And Buck was near to the point of inconsolable.
Buck had done so much to support Eddie in his move to El Paso, to be closer to his son. Now Eddie had to return the favour and fly back to LA in order to help console Buck.
Eddie himself was barely keeping it together.
But Buck… He had been alone during all of it, minus Athena who took a no-nonsense approach in trying to keep a clear head during the situation.
So, Eddie had dropped Chris off at his folks with the promise to be back in a few days’ time. At most a week.
He took that flight. Consoled Buck.
And then it got worse.
Bobby was dead.
Bobby had died.
Or so they had thought.
He attended his captain’s funeral. And then… Bobby was alive?
He still couldn’t get his head around it. But what mattered was that Bobby was alive and the emotional roller coaster that was the last week has finally begun to settle.
And there Eddie sat on the couch. In his house. Or what was his house. Which is now Buck’s house.
Seeing Buck’s furniture in person taking up space of what was his previous home was… weird. In a way. But somehow also felt right?
Buck strolled over and sat next to Eddie on the couch and passed Eddie an ice-cold beer straight from his fridge.
“So…” Buck started. “That week happened. Bobby is alive. Eddie. Bobby is alive. And I thought he was dead.”
Eddie sighed. Turning his head to look at Buck.
“I know Buck. I know. It’s just… wow. I don’t even have words.”
“He was dead. We went to his funeral. His wake. We grieved? I cried. For hours. On your shoulder,” exasperated Buck. “And I can’t even blame Bobby! It wasn’t his fault! But. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I don’t know what to feel.”
“Hey Buck. These emotions you’re feeling, they are valid. You’re allowed to be upset. Be upset at the universe, be upset at the ones who were involved, hell be upset at Bobby if you need to be.”
As Buck met Eddie’s gaze, he continued.
“But Eddie, my mind just can’t get over this. Even you being here? Like? You’ve been gone for six weeks. You’re mending your relationship with Chris, and I got in between both you just because I was upset over nothing,” sobbed Buck.
“Buck. Stop that. You were alone and away from the rest of the 118. They’re your family. Our family. I would also never leave you all by yourself in a situation like that.”
Eddie had to make Buck know that he wasn’t overreacting.
“Chris understood. He encouraged me to go. Anyway, he knows I have a flight booked home for Tuesday. I think… you should book a flight with me as well. You’ve had a week of emotional turbulence. You deserve a break. Chris will be excited to see you too.”
“You think?” Buck asked.
“Of course. He misses you like crazy.”
Buck smiled.
“Yeah? I think I’d like that. To see Chris. I’m sure Bobby will give me the time off… Thought technically… is he even captain of the 118 at this point?”
“Hey, I am not in charge of that paperwork. And you do not need to worry about that!”
“Yeah…”
Several minutes passed as Buck and Eddie sat in silence.
Slowly drinking their beers and just breathing in the presence of the other.
It was the first night they had since Eddie had returned in the panic of everything, where they could stop.
Breath.
And take in the moment.
Take in the moment to notice that other was there in person.
Not just a floating face on a phone screen. But as a physical being they could touch. To hold.
And that is what Buck did. He adjusted himself on the sofa and found himself leaning into the presence of Eddie. Leaning into his shoulder, nearly tucking underneath his chin.
That’s how they sat for many minutes. Sipping their respective beers until-
“You know what Buck.”
“What?”
“When I confronted my mom back in Texas,” Eddie started uncertainly, “I was telling her how Chris hated chess and then she tried to disagree with me saying Chris loved it and it made me remember something.”
“Remember what Eddie?”
“I had this same exact conversation with her back when I was fourteen. Except it wasn’t me trying to get out of the chess club. It was me telling my mom that I no longer wanted to do ballroom dancing.”
That made Buck stop and sit up on the couch so he could look at Eddie directly.
“Wait. Ballroom dancing. You? You did ballroom dancing?” exclaimed Buck.
“Eddie! We’ve been best friends for over seven years and I’m only learning about this now? You’ve been holding out on me!”
“Well... to be fair… thanks to my mother she kinda stripped the joy out of it. And another thing happened. But that doesn’t matter right now.”
“Will you teach me?” asked Buck.
“To do what?” queried Eddie.
“Ballroom dance!” Buck answered excitedly.
“What really? You want me to teach you?” Eddie couldn’t quite grasp that Buck would want to learn ballroom dancing. For Eddie to teach him of all people.
“Uhhh yeah sure I guess. We can figure out some time in the future and I can show you some classic styles.”
“No! Teach me right now!”
“What? Right now? Buck! Where? If you hadn’t noticed, you have a bit more furniture than I previously had in this living room and there’s not really any space.”
“Then we will make space!” Buck exclaimed as he suddenly shot up from the couch and immediately grabbed both his and Eddie’s empty beer bottles, putting them to the side out of the way and already reaching to grab one edge of the coffee table.
“Come on Eddie! Grab the other end! If we shove the coffee table and arm chair a bit over there then we will have plenty of space!”
That is how Eddie ended up being encouraged by Buck to grasp his hands.
Just like that they were in a position where Eddie was trying to give some basic fundamentals of ballroom dancing.
“Now Buck, I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent dancer, but please try to avoid stepping on my toes.”
After Buck was slowly getting the hang of it, out of habit, Eddie dipped Buck low to the floor, before suddenly bringing him back up.
“Hey now! does this mean I’m the girl in this dancing partnership Eddie?” joked Buck.
“Don’t be silly, we are both modern men, there’s no proper position of ‘male’ and ‘female’ roles when it comes to ballroom dancing, there are just some historic gendered positionings. I promise, once I’ve taught you enough and you can lead, I let you dip me too.”
“You promise?”
“I do.”
Then Buck and Eddie were slow dancing in Buck’s (Eddie’s? theirs?) living room.
Buck’s arms were gently placed around Eddie’s waist, while Eddie had his arms loosely around Buck’s neck.
Eddie took this moment to stare up directly into Buck’s gaze where their eyes met. Eddie knew. He took the chance. Slowly reaching up, Eddie took his lips and placed them over Buck’s soft lips.
Buck, surprised for a second, then, as if it was the most natural and obvious thing in the world, deepened the kiss.
Eddie found his joy. It was all going to be okay.