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The action movie he had been watching on Netflix that Vernon suggested he should check out had just ended, rolling its seemingly endless list of credits, when Mingyu decided to shift the television to YouTube and search for a vlog or cooking ASMR video to entertain himself with. His favorite cooking channel had just posted a new content, its thumbnail of a pork cutlet bowl appearing on the recommendations list, but the video next to it intrigued Mingyu even more. Joshua and Jun’s appearance on the show Baby Cloud. He had been meaning to watch its two episodes since it aired a few weeks ago, but schedule had been hectic due to their comeback duties. He thought right now would be the perfect opportunity to watch this.
One would think that watching a content like Baby Cloud wherein celebrities were just playing with adorable little kids would be harmless. The problem was Mingyu would be watching his boyfriend, Joshua, playing and tending to adorable little kids. The repercussions definitely didn't cross Mingyu's mind the moment he clicked play on the remote control.
The first episode was bearable, Joshua was being his playful self with the little boy named Jaehyun. Joshua wrapping him in a huge blanket then swinging him side to side was nothing new to Mingyu. It was around that scene when Mingyu heard the front door being unlocked and suddenly, Jo Malone perfume strongly wafted through the living room before Joshua could even arrive.
“Hi, babe,” Joshua greeted his lover in the sweetest tone he could muster, running towards the couch to meet Mingyu and place a sound peck on his lips. “What are you watching? Oh! It's my Baby Cloud episode with Junnie!”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to watch it for a while now,” Mingyu said as he lovingly smiled at his boyfriend he missed dearly, his short black locks a contrast to his long bleached hair on the video. “What you got there, babe?” He stood up from his couch and grabbed the plastic bags Joshua had been holding to place it on the kitchen counter.
“I brought ingredients,” Joshua replied, following his boyfriend to the kitchen.
“Oh? Should I cook for you, then? What were you planning for dinner?”
“No, no, I’ll cook. I saw a recipe online and I just know you’d like it. I’ll cook here, go and continue watching me and Junnie play with the children.” Joshua lovingly pecked Mingyu's jaw, his hand resting on the latter’s chest.
After agreeing with Joshua, Mingyu left him to do his wonders in the kitchen. His roommate, Wonwoo, would be visiting his dad and brother for the whole week, so Mingyu thought of inviting Joshua over to spend the week together in his apartment. Joshua doesn't usually spend the night in Mingyu's apartment as respect for Wonwoo because the American knows all too well how Mingyu could never repress his lust towards him—so Mingyu just spends time with Joshua in the latter's apartment where they have the place all to themselves.
YouTube automatically played the second episode of Joshua and Jun’s Baby Cloud after the first one finished, and how unprepared Mingyu was for the onslaught of baby fever this episode would siege him. He was hyperfocused on the way Joshua seemed like a doting father to the twins, Ayun and Arin. He was feeling all sorts of cuteness aggression and tender fondness. Seeing Joshua read English books to Ayun and the toddler repeating everything he said definitely pulled at his heartstrings because he knew it was something Joshua would do with their own child.
‘Oh!’ Mingyu surprised himself upon the realization that he just imagined Joshua with a child that they call their own. And the images kept on flowing through his mind, imaginations of Joshua playing with their daughter and her toys, of Joshua calmly and serenely breaking up the fight between their daughters, of him and Joshua taking their daughters to get some ice cream with his hand—decorated with a gold band around his ring finger—holding their daughter’s tiny hand. It was unstopping, like a film in a theater wherein a mere spectator had no control in.
When the YouTube video ended, Mingyu sighed deeply as he came to his senses. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the cushioned couch. He should have controlled his own thoughts because now he couldn't forget how he pictured Joshua and their non-existent daughters. He was only hurting himself due to this unattainable daydreaming of his. Marriage and children were beyond them considering their line of work. The entertainment industry would be ruthless and pitiless to them the moment they hear of wedding bells and baby wails.
In an attempt to distract himself, Mingyu decided to help Joshua cook amidst the older’s insistence of doing it himself, but seeing Joshua move about the kitchen like he owned the place, an apron tied around him, and looking just like the ideal housewife made Mingyu's imaginations ratchet up. Mingyu's feet had a mind of their own as he walked towards Joshua to embrace him in his arms and pull his back flushed towards his chest, his broad body fully covering Joshua. The taller man rested his chin on Joshua’s shoulder, watching him stir fry what seemed to be chopped chicken, sliced marble potatoes, and rosemary.
“That smells so good,” Mingyu murmured, peppering butterfly kisses on Joshua's nape as the wonderful aroma of rosemary blesses his nose.
“Hey, babe,” Joshua greeted, twisting his head to the side to place a kiss on Mingyu's cheek. Although his boyfriend was hampering his movements a bit, Joshua welcomed the warmth and weight of Mingyu. “If you're not busy could you help me slice the cucumbers, carrots, mangoes, and lettuce?”
“Sure, babe,” Mingyu acceded, pecking Joshua’s deep lip corner. Leaving Joshua’s body figure that he knew by heart, Mingyu went to where the chopping board and knife were. He began to slice the vegetables and mangoes according to Joshua’s preferences, as well as the crabsticks laying on the side. He then offered to wrap all the sliced ingredients with the rice papers to which Joshua acquiesced to—after so many kisses from Mingyu, letting them chill in the refrigerator afterwards.
After an hour of preparing dinner, the rosemary chicken, cheesy beef enoki rolls, and kani salad rolls were all placed on the table with a bowl of steaming hot white rice for Joshua and two for Mingyu. As they began feasting on Joshua’s delicious food, their conversation was light and easy, consisting of mere narratives of how their day went and talks about their future schedules. As if the universe was creating an inside joke out of Mingyu, Joshua suddenly brought up Baby Cloud .
“So, what did you think of my Baby Cloud episodes?” Asked Joshua before putting a beef roll in his mouth.
“It's uh…” Mingyu malfunctioned, the imagery of children around Joshua beautifully haunting him once more. “It was cute.”
“And?” Joshua pressed.
Mingyu gulped the invisible lump in his throat. “And uh… wholesome.”
Joshua sighed, sounding to be annoyed. “And?”
“Yah, what do you want me to say?”
“What you actually think about it. I know you're hiding something,” Joshua said in a sing-song voice. “Your short replies gave it away. You should have been yapping about it otherwise.”
‘Shit, why does he know me so much?’ Mingyu thought to himself, trying to mask the horror on his face with nonchalance that he prayed was successful. “No, I’m not hiding anything,” he denied it anyway.
“Ah-ha! That face! You’re pouting! You really are hiding something!” Joshua exclaimed, pointing a finger towards Mingyu.
“I am not.” Mingyu kept an expression as neutral as he could.
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not.”
“You are! You are! You are!” Mingyu did not utter a word and just fed himself with a piece of chicken.
“Just tell me what you think of it, what's the harm in there!” Joshua whined, like a spoiled brat not getting the remote control toy car he saw at a mall.
“Well, I think you and I should have kids someday,” Mingyu finally conceded, leaving Joshua speechless from dumbfoundedness.
“Huh?”
“Seeing you with Arin and Ayun made me want to have kids with you someday once we get married,” Expounded Mingyu.
“Married?! Us?!”
“Why? Are you planning on marrying someone else?”
“What–no! I–” Joshua sputtered. He just sighed as his thoughts were scrambling in his malfunctioning brain. “Mingyu.” He said it with a very meaningful tone, all his thoughts conveyed in that one call of his lover's name.
The message was imparted successfully to Mingyu and all he could do was to sigh. “I know, I know. But can't we just hide it? Gay marriage is legal in the U.S. I’ll marry you in L.A. or maybe you want a Vegas wedding? And the kids, we would adopt!”
“And then what?” Joshua questioned.
The hopeful expression on Mingyu's face dimmed, replaced with forlornness and woe. It broke Joshua’s heart seeing the way his beloved’s proud shoulders droop. He felt so helpless because of the cruelty of the world. It was so unjustly and yet fair at the same time; they couldn't just marry and start a family and risk their careers, no one could truly have it all. They weren't simple people and the whole world wouldn't deem them as a “normal” couple. With a weeping heart, all Joshua could do right now was to watch Mingyu morosely play with his food with his chopsticks, seemingly to have lost all appetite. Joshua could feel tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, but instead of crying over what they could have had, he took Mingyu's hand that was fisted atop the table in his comforting ones.
“Hey,” Joshua called, causing Mingyu to look at him with glassy eyes. “I know I can't give you what you want, but I’m here, right? I’ll love you no matter what. I’ll give you so much love you’d think we were married. I’ll give you all the love in the world you wouldn't crave the love of little children anymore.”
It triumphantly made Mingyu smile again, his charming fangs peeking through parted lips, never failing to make Joshua swoon. The hand that was covering his, Mingyu had raised it near his lips.
“I’ll give you all my love, Mingyu,” added Joshua.
“And you know I’d give you ten times more.” Then Mingyu placed a kiss on the back of Joshua's palm.
The older grinned so prettily, his lips corners reaching both of his ears. He cupped Mingyu's cheek with the hand the taller kissed, before saying, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Mingyu answered eagerly. “But imagine if we do have kids–”
“Yah!” Joshua playfully protested, removing his hand from Mingyu's face.
“Emphasize on the ‘imagine’. Okay, so imagine if we do have kids, how many do you want.”
Joshua just rolled his eyes at his unrelenting boyfriend. “I don't know, maybe one?”
“One? That's too few. Let's have five,” Mingyu contradicted.
“Now that's too much! One only!”
“Okay, four.”
Joshua shook his head. “Two!”
“Three! Last call.”
“Hmm… Yeah, three is fine. Three kids would be nice.”
“You know, twins would be nice, too,” suggested Mingyu, once more remembering the moments Joshua had with the twin sisters.
“I thought you wanted three? Make up your mind!”
“We’ll have twins, then adopt another one so we'll have three then!”
“Yeah, that works.” Joshua nodded.
“I want twin girls and a boy.”
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The sun burned bright and hot down on Hawaii this fine day, no clouds splattered across the clear blue skies. Colossal palm trees decorated the beach, a staple in every tropical island. The souvenir shops were bustling with tourists, the food trucks garnering a lengthy line of hungry customers. People of various races and cultures frolicked about as they traipsed down the sand, children wading through the shallow waters by the shore to collect seashells. Down by the beach, away from the busy streets of Honolulu, was Mingyu, happily letting Joshua bury him under warm white sand. He was almost fully ensconced with sand, he barely looked human but instead just a huge lump of sand with a handsome face peeking out.
“Aren't you done, yet, babe? Pwe! Pwe!” Mingyu spat the granules of sand flying into his mouth as Joshua hastily and enthusiastically covered his boyfriend's body.
“Sorry!” Joshua giggled. “There, I’m all finished!” He exclaimed, dusting his hands off of the sand, mentally patting his back at the sight of a good job done—of burying his boyfriend underneath a heap of sand. Joshua took his phone out eagerly to snap photos of his sand-covered lover. He laughed out loud as he took pictures, Mingyu indulging him by making all sorts of funny and adorable expressions; kissy face, wink, and cross-eyed. Joshua was just so fond of his adorable boyfriend, his darling Mingyu who had captured his heart.
Out the blue, Joshua felt a gentle poke on his back that startled him, causing him to make a surprised sound. He glanced behind him and saw a black Labrador Retriever sitting politely on the sand, its long tail wagging from left to right. “What is it, hyung?” Mingyu worriedly asked.
“Why hello there, cutie,” Joshua greeted the dog with a big, sweet smile.
“Yah, who are you calling cutie?” Mingyu asked again, this time with a hint of jealousy, struggling to free himself from his tomb of sand that crumbled down on his bare upper body as he escaped.
“It's just a dog, Mingyu,” Joshua said. He began carding his fingers through the dog’s sandy and silky black fur. “You are just the cutest dog, yes you are!” Joshua cooed, now using both of his hands to caress the dog’s thick neck.
“He’s a boy,” Mingyu stated matter of factly, watching his lover coo extremely at the adorable dog.
“Well aren't you just the cutest little boy!” As some sort of reaction from Joshua’s immense cuteness aggression towards him, the Labrador gave him the shells he had been hiding in his mouth by placing them on the pretty man’s thigh. “Oh my god!” Joshua gasped in delight. “Thank you, little buddy! You're such a sweetheart!”
“How about for me, buddy? No shells for me?” Mingyu feigned sadness, showing his palm to the dog as if actually soliciting for some seashells that the dog had retrieved. Joshua giggled when the dog ignored Mingyu as he was preoccupied by the loving fingers scratching behind his ears.
“I don't think he likes you,” Joshua joked.
“He seems to like you a lot.” Mingyu observed. “He suddenly approached you to give you seashells, like a suitor giving you flowers.” Joshua laughed once more, that harmonious, high-pitched giggle of his with his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes crinkling prettily, and his lips curved upwards flawlessly that never fails to melt Mingyu's heart like a chocolate bar underneath the sun.
“Who are your owners, little bud?” Joshua looked around to his surroundings, trying to see whom amongst the crowd appears to be searching for their missing Labrador Retriever.
“Maybe he's a local?” Mingyu said after failing to see anyone in a pursuit to find their pet.
“Hm, maybe. He’ll find his way home then.” Joshua returned his attention to the dog, petting his hand with his adorable paw as if telling him to continue the scratching. “You must’ve liked playing with the tourists here, huh? You're such a good boy, yes you are!”
Mingyu was once again struck with infatuation and yearning seeing Joshua fondly coo at the Labrador. It was something he always feels every time he witnesses Joshua playing with a dog, it was like clockwork. It started when Joshua first met Bobpul and the tiny white dog immediately fell in love with Joshua, faster than with Mingyu. Every interaction Joshua has with a dog, whether with Bobpul or other dogs they encounter, Mingyu longs for the day they could both have a dog of their own. A dog that would live with them under the same roof, a dog they would both come home to after a long day at work, a dog who would see them both first thing in the morning and would see them last before a good night's rest.
A far fetched dream. Mingyu knows, they both do. As long as they're celebrities, with thousands of fans idolizing them, they can't live under the same roof and raise suspicions of the truth. They can't have a dog to start their own little family like how he had always wished for.
“Oh, he’s going away, he’s going to his doggy friends. “Bye, buddy! Thank you again for the shells!” Joshua shouted as the Labrador prances towards his fellow dogs a few feet away, joining them and playing with them by the shore, amusing themselves with the waves. “He's such a sweet guy.” Joshua chuckled.
“He really is,” Mingyu agreed, looking at his boyfriend who was lovingly watching the dogs bite and chase each other playfully.
Afterwards, the couple had decided to take a stroll amongst the tourists and locals to see more of what the Waikiki Beach could offer them. It was breathtaking everywhere their eyes could reach. The plumerias on the trees were as pure as snow, orchids decorated a few houses with their loveliest shade of purple, the hibiscuses greeted enthusiastically, and the anthuriums’ reds were as vibrant as ever. The floras of Hawaii were truly marvelous, beautiful in their own distinct ways. The turquoise waters stretched for miles and miles, the deepest blue already invisible to the naked eye.
Their walk was scorching, the sun was merciless with its heat. Fortunately, Mingyu and Joshua had come across a famous soft-serve ice cream shop wherein they ordered a huge serving of banana ice cream for two. As they continued their wandering, they came across a quiet neighborhood. It was somewhere on a hill but the waters of Waikiki seemed near, it was as if it was only at arm’s length.
Hearing the sounds of thwacks and clangs caught the attention of both Mingyu and Joshua. Just a few feet away from them was an unfinished house, getting steadily and accurately erected with every hammering of a nail and a wood split by a saw. A man and a woman were rearing the almost completed house and from the glinting gold bands around both of their ring fingers, Joshua surmised they were a married couple. He glanced beside him at the tall man immersed by the construction, and by the dreamy look on Mingyu's face, Joshua could tell that he wanted to mimic what he was currently witnessing.
With him.
Mingyu wanted to do it with Joshua, he wanted to build his own home with his lover.
“Hi!” The woman, with hair as yellow as corn hair, stopped her sawing and approached Joshua and Mingyu with a friendly smile.
“Oh, hello,” Joshua greeted back in English as well. “I’m so sorry if we were intruding, we were just passing by.”
“It's alright, you're not doing such a thing! Are you tourists?”
“Yes, we’re from Korea.”
“How nice!”
“Is this your house you're building?”
“Yes. My husband and I just got married two weeks ago.” The woman pointed to the man hammering the established wall. “We wanted our house to be built by us. It has always been our dream.”
“How romantic!” Joshua commented.
“Are you two a couple as well?” The woman questioned, motioning to Mingyu’s arm that was around Joshua's waist.
Joshua was about to deny, afraid of their relationship being made public, when Mingyu suddenly pulled him closer, flushed to his body and spoke, “Yes, we are.”
“Well you two are a very lovely couple!”
Joshua could swear his heart wanted to leap out of his ribcage like it were a frog on a pond. The only thing he could do now is to pray to the Heavens above that this woman would not accidentally expose his secret relationship with Mingyu to the world in any way possible.
Mingyu and Joshua continued their conversation with the blonde lady, later joined by her husband after completing his task. Both couples shared their love story to one another—Mingyu and Joshua fabricating their romantic anecdote to not give away anything that they are in fact Korean celebrities and not just mere singers—and when the married couple realized they had been keeping their new foreign friends due to their chattiness, they bid their farewells to each other and let Joshua and Mingyu embark on their relaxing journey once more.
With his head lowered, Mingyu watched as his right arm softly brushed against Joshua's left one with every step they took. Forgetting all of their agreed upon prohibitions when in public, Mingyu suddenly grabbed Joshua's hand in his, enveloping it warmingly. Joshua instinctively jolted his hand away but Mingyu's grip was unrelenting. The smaller man checked their surroundings for any passersby that may be giving them odd looks. As a celebrity, it was already in his system to surmise that he is being constantly filmed.
“Mingyu, what are you doing?! Do you want to appear in the tabloids in Korea tomorrow holding hands with me?!” Joshua asked, irately.
“Relax, no one seems to know us here,” Mingyu replied.
“You're unbelievable. You even told the married couple earlier that we're a couple!”
“Because they obviously don't know us.”
“What if they did?”
“They obviously didn't.”
Joshua groaned, irritated. Arguing with Mingyu would be futile and Joshua would hate to ruin such a fine day. Subduing all the anger in his body that was caused by his boyfriend’s recklessness, he allowed Mingyu's hand to stay intertwined with his, swaying slightly in synchronicity with the pads of their feet.
“Wasn't that nice?” Mingyu permeated through the comfortable and silent atmosphere between them.
“What is?” Joshua questioned.
“Building your own house with your lover here in Hawaii.”
Mingyu's dream of someday having a house on a beach was no secret. In fact, he even shared it to his fans through an interview; a cozy home established on sand where he would raise a huge dog and his dear friend Minghao would be his neighbor. Joshua knew—although it wasn't explicitly stated—he has a place in that dream. When he read that interview, he couldn't help but feel elated imagining himself living with Mingyu in one house exactly like how his boyfriend had described. As Mingyu's private boyfriend for a decade, he and Joshua should have been discussing their future living arrangements together during their retirement but they haven't. Most probably because it would only be another impossible dream of theirs. And yet this time, with his palms slotting perfectly with Mingyu's that never fails to make his heart dance, and the crowd ignorant of their identities giving them that sense of commonality, Joshua couldn't help but indulge his lover. “Would you like to do that? To build our own house someday?”
“Hm?” A flicker of shock flashed against Mingyu’s eyes that quickly changed into an excited glimmer upon registering Joshua's question. “Yeah, I’d like that. I think it'll be cool. I also want it up on a hill.”
“I thought you wanted it next to the sea?” Joshua raised a brow in confusion.
“Up on a hill and next to the sea!” Mingyu corrected himself, making Joshua giggle. “It would be miles and miles away from everyone else so that it would be just us two.”
“Oh? Just us two? But what about our future kids?” At this point, Joshua was already teasing his boyfriend’s inconsistencies in his future plans.
“Yah! Of course our three kids would be there, too! Our girl twins and a boy! And a dog! A huge dog that would give you seashells as pretty as you,” Mingyu added that last sentence upon remembering his fantasies earlier. Joshua simply smiled and nodded, understanding the roots of that specific desire of having a dog-retrieving seashells.
By the time they had found a café to munch on some snacks, Mingyu was already verbally painting every single detail of their future house; from its size and two floors to the colors of its picket fences, to the yard where their dog and three kids would play all day. It was all they talked about over half a dozen of custard and chocolate filled donuts. Everything—the kids, the dog, the house—was all just a dream Joshua could not give Mingyu. Although right now, as he tentatively listens to his yapper of a boyfriend with large smile donning his face, Joshua has an inkling of hope that maybe, just maybe, someday they would be building their own home up on a hill next to the waters, with white or green fences, surrounded by trees with a yard for their children and dog to play, and it would be far away where no one could disrupt their built happiness. Maybe someday, Joshua could give Mingyu his dream and make it come true.
And maybe someday, when the time is just right, Mingyu would give the Bvlgari diamond ring to his beloved that he had hidden inside the deepest part of his backpack.