Chapter Text
The wind rushed down the river and out towards the sea, drawing his clothing sharply against his body. He felt his body rock into the fence and braced himself against the strong gusts buffeting the bridge.
Somewhere below him, a car horn blared and was answered by a chorus of loud replies. Steve’s hand tightened on the rail and forced his jaw to unclench, his shoulders to drop and his legs to relax. Told himself that the suddenness of the noise and the staccato nature was nothing threatening. There was no need to duck for cover. He was safe. His hands were clutching the rail of the Brooklyn Bridge walkway and not his shield. He was easily and steadily breathing the chill, sharp air into clear lungs. There wouldn’t be any explosions, or smoke, or gunfire.
Told himself that the war was more than half a century behind him, even if it felt like it was only a year ago.
He brought himself back to the present bit by bit. Reminded himself of the year, who he worked with, the people he knew now. It was a grounding technique that sometimes worked wonders for managing his PTSD, other times it drew him into a whole other world of pain. Like tonight.
Tonight, two tears burned down his cheeks and were swept into the wind, over the traffic and down to the East River
Steve Rogers, the soldier frozen in time, missed his friends. The horror of the war was something that would never truly leave him. But it was completely different to the nightmare of waking up to having only a single person in the whole world who knew him. Someone who couldn’t hold on to the present for more than an hour or so. Watching Peggy Carter fight to stay connected to the moment, only to lose and weep again at Steve’s return was agony. But for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, someone knew him and shared history with him.
So Steve held on to those moments. On nights when those moments weren’t enough, he ran. Tonight though, the running hadn’t been enough and he’d frozen on the bridge, unable or unwilling to go a step further.
The wind drove two more tears down to the water.
Today, he’d received news that Peggy was deteriorating and there wasn’t much time left. Visits were going to be limited to family until the time came.
A fifth tear followed.
Until the time came.
Steve swiped a cold hand across his eyes and flicked the last two tears into the strong wind. He let his body take over, feeling his muscles bunch and release as he sprang into action. Running hard, he cleared the bridge in minutes and pelted back into the city streets. Trying to outrun reality, a world that didn’t know him, the pain of being left behind. The feeling of being utterly alone.
Even with the super serum, he wasn't quite fast enough.
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The last two tears hit the water and mingled with the East River as all seven tears were carried out toward the open sea.
As the current brought them the Lower Bay, the bright, full moon lit the shiny head that quickly broke the surface of the water. Gazing in the direction the tears had come from, the seal thought for only a moment before deciding to answer the call. It was an old tradition and rarely honored these days, but it suited him to respond. With a sharp bark the seal made his promise and slid back under the surface of the water. There was no time to lose.