Chapter Text
Evelyn ran her hands down her thighs, smoothing the non-existent wrinkles on the skirt of her gown. She breathed in and out slowly. Maker, she was so nervous. And why? She was the former Inquisitor, the Queen of Ferelden - she could take on anything. Anything except her daughters, it appeared.
People always had something to say about raising children, even royal ones, but this was a situation where she couldn’t seek anyone’s advice.
Her palms made another sweep over the fabric, but were stopped midway by two hands grasping at her, intertwining their fingers. She turned from side to side, glancing at her husbands, giving them what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
“It’s going to be alright,” she said. “Isn’t it?” The statement turned into a question, and Evelyn felt angry with herself. She couldn’t have doubts now. She trusted their girls. They would understand.
“We don’t have to do it,” Cullen told her. “It’s not too late to…”
“No.” Both Evelyn and Alistair cut him off.
“It’s fifteen years too late,” Evelyn stated, finding her certainty again.
“I don’t want to make a mess of the whole thing with my selfish desire to…”
“Cullen, no.” Evelyn once again didn’t allow him to finish his thought. “It’s not selfish. I want to do it as much as you do. And so does Alistair. And the girls - the girls deserve the truth. The truth will make us all stronger.”
She actually believed that. The truth would bring them closer, would let them be free. Maybe at first it would be strange and frightening, but in the end it would be all for the best.
“We can wait a few more years…”
“No more waiting.” This time Alistair halted Cullen’s speech. “They’re old enough. I won’t have you making that face when they call you uncle again.”
“I don’t make a face,” Cullen protested.
“You do, love, you very much do,” Evelyn confirmed.
Maybe it wasn’t so much a face, as something quick, barely perceptible, but still very clear to someone who loved Cullen and watched him carefully for years. The barest hint of disappointment always made its way into his expression when Emma or Jane called him uncle.
Evelyn felt a sharp pain whenever she remembered the time when Emma called Cullen ‘dad’ when she was just learning to speak. The joy she saw on Cullen’s face was like nothing she’s ever witnessed before. He beamed down at his daughter with so much pride and love. And then he quickly told her, “No, darling, I’m your uncle.” His expression was changed, guarded and determined, before he smiled again at his child.
In that moment it truly hit Evelyn how hard this was going to be. The necessary lies, secrecy, being dishonest with the two people she cared for most in the world. It was the price they paid, the price all three of them agreed to pay all those years ago in the Winter Palace. They knew this was the only way, but knowing something and experiencing it were two very different things. Still, they made it work as best they could. It was difficult, but she knew that none of them would trade it for anything else.
And now it was going to get easier. It was going to get harder at first, but then, inevitably, easier.
There was the sound of the doors opening, and Cullen and Alistair let go of Evelyn’s hands quickly, like guilty youths caught by their parents, which she found ironic.
“You wanted to see us?” Jane asked, striding in.
“Is something wrong?” Emma questioned.
“You always worry.” Jane rolled her blue eyes, and plopped down on the sofa opposite the one Evelyn, Cullen and Alistair were occupying, her red hair fluttering with her quick movement.
“They’re all tense,” Emma observed, taking a seat at the edge of the sofa. “Did we do something wrong? Is one of you sick?”
“No, honey, no,” Evelyn tried to calm her down. “It’s nothing bad.”
“What is it then?” Emma demanded, her amber eyes squinting suspiciously.
“Well, me and your…” Evelyn stopped, and laughed nervously. She couldn’t just plunge into it like that.
“We need to tell you something. Something big,” Cullen supplied. “A secret.”
Both girls sat up a bit straighter, starting to look excited.
“It will be shocking, and it may seem like it changes everything you know, but in reality it changes nothing,” Alistair continued. “We all love you very much, and we’ll always love you.”
“Now even I’m getting worried,” Jane huffed. “Just tell us.”
Evelyn took a deep breath to steady herself.
“You know how Cullen has always been there for you, how he loves you. He was always a part of the family, but he’s much more than that. He’s…”
“My father,” Emma finished for her, when Evelyn paused.
“What?!” Jane shouted, jumping up from the couch. “What is she talking about? That’s impossible. Unless…”
Evelyn looked from Cullen to Alistair, dumbfounded. How did Emma figure it out?
“Is dad not our dad?” Jane pressed on.
“Your dad is your dad,” Evelyn responded, shaking herself from the shock. “For both of you. But you also have another dad. And when it comes strictly to blood, Cullen is Emma’s father.”
“How’s that possible? How did you know? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jane was looking at her sister, hands on her hips, an accusatory expression on her face.
“I didn’t know. I suspected,” Emma clarified, her tone studiously calm. “I felt it, I think. Me and… dad...” she paused, testing the word, and Evelyn felt Cullen go still next to her, “...we are very much alike. The way we think, the way we feel. There are moments when we just understand each other perfectly, almost without words, and the rest of you don’t. In those moments I suspected that our bond is much closer than it appears. At first I chalked it up to us spending a lot of time together, becoming similar because of that. But it’s not just that. I once caught our reflection in a mirror and I noticed that our eyes are the same. This could not be explained so easily.”
Evelyn watched two sets of amber eyes meet, and hoped that what they were communicating now was good.
“I couldn’t understand that, since Jane looks so much like dad. If she is his daughter, then I thought, so must I. But then last year Dori Junior had another litter of puppies, and they were so different, and the kennel master told me that they probably had different fathers, that it happened with dogs sometimes. And I just thought then, if it can happen to dogs, it can happen to people.” Emma paused, and bit her lip, glancing guiltily at Evelyn. “I’m sorry mom. I didn’t mean to compare you to… I mean…”
“That’s fine. I understand,” Evelyn responded. In truth she couldn’t care less. This was the smallest of her worries. Her poor daughter, grappling with such questions in silence, carrying this secret, never confiding in anyone. It broke Evelyn’s heart. She wished she could go back in time, comfort her, take that weight off her.
“Good. That’s good.” Emma smiled feebly. “I figured out the mechanics of it, but I could never come to terms with the rest of it. You always look so in love.” She turned to Evelyn and Alistair. “I could never imagine you cheating on dad. And dad and…” she glanced at Cullen, “...dad are as close as brothers. You’d never betray him like that. So I was left confused, telling myself that maybe I imagined it all, maybe I was going out of my mind. But inside I felt I was not wrong.”
Evelyn could only imagine that pain, and felt instantly guilty. What did they put their daughter through? How could they ever make up for that?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jane demanded.
“Why didn’t you come to us?” Alistair asked.
“I think that’s pretty obvious,” Cullen said. “Emma was frightened, because if what she suspected were true, it would mean that I and Evelyn have betrayed you, Alistair, and if she said anything, she would destroy the family. On the other hand, if it weren’t true, she’d just offend us by implying anything of that sort. And she didn’t tell you, Jane, because she didn’t want to make you as uncomfortable as she was. Am I correct?”
Emma smiled.
“That’s what I was talking about. You think the way I think... dad.” The word was new and strange to her, that was obvious, but she was making such an earnest effort to use it, that it warmed Evelyn’s heart. Cullen had to feel it tenfold.
“Stop for a second,” Jane interjected. “You’ve all apparently had years to come to terms with this entire thing, but I’m rather new to it, so let me get this straight. I and Emma are twins, but we have two different fathers, and the three of you are very calm about this because…”
For a moment Evelyn was reminded of the time she confided in Dorian about her feelings for Cullen and Alistair, and how awkward that was. Then there was the matter of Branson and Mia, which was much more difficult, and she hadn’t even been there for all of the discussions. Explaining that sort of relationship to her children was harder still. No child wanted to know what happened in their parents bedchamber, and this had to be exponentially worse.
They were all silent, not really meeting Jane’s challenging stares. It was Cullen who calmed his nerves first. He reached inside his jacket, pulled out the chain he wore around his neck, unclasped it, took off the ring, and put it on his finger.
“You’re… married? To who?” Jane asked, clearly puzzled.
“To whom,” Emma corrected.
“Why are you doing this right now, Em? Your dad is married to someone and you’re pointing out my grammar mistakes?” Jane threw her hands up.
“It’s just…” Emma started explaining herself, but stopped immediately as she watched Alistair reach for Cullen’s hand, an identical ring on his finger, and bring their joined hands over Evelyn’s.
“You’re married to each other? How’s that even possible?” Jane scrunched her brows in confusion.
“This isn’t Chantry sanctioned, you can be sure of that.” Alistair laughed nervously. “But yes, we’re married, not officially, but in all aspects that matter.”
If it wasn’t so nerve wracking, it would be amusing, Evelyn decided, watching the girls’ faces morphing through different expressions, their mouths opening and closing, eyes darting, brows moving over their foreheads.
“We all love each other,” Evelyn explained. “It’s been this way since long before you two were born. There was no betrayal, no-one cheated on anyone. We were all… Everyone was…” Evelyn wasn’t sure how to phrase it so as not to make it too explicit.
“All three of you…” Jane looked like she just ate a lemon. “Ewwww. I very much did not want to think about that. Just… No. Nonono.” She started pacing. “Maker’s breath, this is far too much information.”
That was not the best reaction possible, and yet Evelyn couldn’t blame her. She’d do the same in her daughter’s place.
In contrast to her sister, Emma was surprisingly calm.
“I did not think of that,” she said. “I should have. But I didn’t. That was so stupid of me. The answer was right in front of my face, and I couldn’t see it. You care for each other so deeply, and yet I didn’t imagine it was this way. I suppose it was because we hear a lot about one spouse cheating on another, but we don’t hear about three people living in harmony.”
Evelyn was truly impressed with how analytical her daughter could be. This knowledge must have come as a relief to Emma. She now knew that what she suspected about her parentage was true, and yet her family would remain intact, her assumptions about her parents were correct - they could never betray one another.
“I guess the part about dad and… dad being like brothers is not true then?” Emma continued.
“Maker’s breath, Em, you’re making me think about that too?” Jane made a long suffering sigh.
Cullen cleared his throat and Alistair shifted awkwardly, while Evelyn laughed. She should be mortified, but it was just all so much, so absurd, that she couldn’t help herself.
“I’m glad,” Emma told them, sounding perfectly sincere. “This makes a lot of sense. I mean, I really really really don’t want to think about any details of our conception, but I didn’t want to think about it when I thought I had just two parents, so nothing changes.” She paused for a moment. “Do I have three parents?”
“Of course!” the three of them exclaimed.
“You’ll always be my daughter. You may not have my blood, but I love you all the same,” Alistair assured her. “I didn’t know if I could have children, but I was certain that I’d love any child fathered by Cullen, that it would be our child.”
Emma beamed at him.
“What about me?” asked Jane. “Do I…?”
She halted, looking at Cullen intently.
“What do you want?” he inquired gently.
“You were always like a second father to us, you treated us both the same, and now that I know all about Emma and the three of you, it would be right… That is, if I could, I’d like to call you dad as well,” Jane told them haltingly.
“You’re my daughter as much as Emma. I always felt that way. I’d love nothing more than for you to call me that,” Cullen told her, his voice choked with emotions.
Evelyn felt the nerves draining out of her. This was going better than it should have, better than expected… perfect. Tears came unbidden, and she couldn’t help herself. She let out a tremulous sob, tears blurring her vision.
Four voices came to her, calling “Evelyn”, “Love”, “Mom”. In a moment there were arms around her shoulders and waist. Everyone was asking what was wrong.
“I’m so happy,” she managed to say. “So happy. I love you all so much. I never thought… never thought…” She sobbed again before being able to continue. “I never thought this day would come. Maker, how I love all of you.”
Sounds of more crying mingled with hers. Blinking rapidly to clear her view, Evelyn noticed that everyone else was shedding tears as well.
“I’m sorry for acting so mad.” She wiped her eyes, and tried to hug all of them, which was proving to be a bit of a challenge. “Get up,” she ordered, rising herself.
They all obeyed, and now Evelyn moved her daughters to the center, so that she, Alistair and Cullen were holding them between each other. This was what perfect contentment felt like - holding all the people she loved, and having no secrets from them.
“That’s one odd family hug.” Jane chuckled and hiccupped.
“Nothing was ever easy or normal with any of us,” Alistair agreed, “but I couldn’t imagine anything better.”
They all parted, still standing close, wiping their tears away, smiling at each other.
“I still can’t believe you kept it from us for our entire lives,” Jane complained.
“Well, I don’t think you would’ve understood any of this at eight,” Evelyn responded.
“Or kept it a secret,” Cullen added. “You know you can’t tell anyone about that, don’t you?”
“Yes, father .” Jane rolled her eyes.
“Don’t talk to your dad that way, young lady.” Alistair wagged his finger at her, clearly amused, and happy that he could make those kinds of jokes.
“I’m sorry, dad. I won’t talk to dad this way,” Jane told him. “Maker, this is going to be confusing. And not in a ‘I have three parents who live secret lives’ way, but in a ‘which dad am I referring to when I say dad’ way.”
“You’re right. That’s a problem we didn’t even consider.” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “I think we didn’t believe it would go so well, that you’d accept it so readily.”
“I’m sure I’ll wake up tomorrow and this will seem like an odd dream. I’ll have to get used to it, but it’s not as if you just appeared out of nowhere. You were always a part of our lives, you raised us, so Em is right, despite it being gross, it makes sense,” Jane decided.
“Does anybody else know?” Emma demanded. “I know we have to keep it a secret, but over the years someone must have found out.”
“Uncle Dorian and uncle Bull, aunt Leliana, uncle Varric, aunt Josephine, uncle Zevran, aunt Cassandra, aunt Isabella, uncle Fergus and aunt Morrigan, uncle Maxwell, aunt Mia and uncle Branson, aunt Antonia...” Alistair started listing off.
“That’s a lot of people,” Jane observed.
“I think there are a few more,” Alistair added.
“That’s not much of a secret,” Emma stated.
“Considering the fact that dozens of courtiers and servants, hundreds of nobles, innumerable spies, and thousands of citizens know nothing, I’d still consider it a pretty well-kept secret,” Cullen offered.
“I suppose,” Emma conceded.
She walked over to the couch and made herself comfortable.
“Now tell us everything. How you really met, how you fell in love, how you found out you were expecting us. Everything.” There was an imperious quality to her voice.
“Very well,” Evelyn agreed, also taking a seat.
Cullen, Alistair and Jane followed suit.
“Where should we start?” Cullen wondered.
Evelyn was sure all three of them were trying to figure out a way to present a relatively ‘clean’ version of events - without desperate kissing in disused rooms, suggestive chess matches, strip games or balls set up as excuses for sex.
“It’s funny you mentioned Dori Junior and her puppies as the reason you figured it all out, Emma,” Alistair started. “Her mother was the mabari me and your mom gave your dad when we were courting him.”
Both girl’s eyes got wide.
“You two were courting him?” Emma asked.
“They did,” Cullen confirmed. Evelyn didn’t have to look at him to know that he was blushing.
“He was a bit stubborn,” she said. “But he came around.” She patted his shoulder affectionately.
“I think you should start with how you relentlessly pursued him since you met in Heaven,” Alistair suggested. “And how you were failing until I showed up.”
“We’re going to be here a while, won’t we?” Jane asked.
“That’s a love story that spans years, so yes, telling it will take time.” Alistair sounded proud.
“I think I’ll need some wine if I’m going to be doing this,” Evelyn decided.
“Will we get wine too?” Jane wanted to know.
“We’ve talked about it…” Evelyn wanted to refuse.
“Please, please, pleeeeeeease…” Both girls batted their lashes at her.
“Come on, love, we’ve traumatized them today. They deserve something in exchange for that,” Alistair pleaded.
“I agree. We could let them have a glass. Just this once,” Cullen agreed.
“Alright! Alright! I can’t fight all four of you.” Evelyn sighed. “I’ll go call for some snacks and five glasses of wine.”
“Thank you!” Four voices followed her.
Evelyn smiled. It was all worth it - all the struggles, the danger, the secrets. It was all leading to this - to her having wine with the men she loved and their children. And to think that it all started over twenty years earlier with her being forced to attend what was supposed to be a boring conclave. Life had a funny way of setting things up.