Chapter Text
Part 1: Wounds and Wishes
Hermione Granger was losing her mind.
Staring blankly at the canopy of her four-poster bed, she decided that something was fundamentally wrong with her. Perhaps it was the war that had messed with her brain, or maybe she had used too much of it too quickly and now her remaining brain cells were malfunctioning. Either way, the point was that she had gone- borrowing vocabulary from Ron’s advanced dictionary- barmy. Because hers certainly didn’t have an adjective for her current state of mind or, more specifically, her feelings.
Yes, that was the only reasonable explanation for her conundrum. She must have hit her head at some point, leading to some side effects. It was the only acceptable option compared to the ridiculous idea that she, against her better judgment and 18 years of wisdom, had fallen victim to boy charm. Right?
It was a long fall from taking pride in the brilliance of her mind to shutting it down in favour of her hormones. Any semblance of sanity she had vanished the moment her treacherous heart took over basic common sense. She might as well give up testing her hypothesis and start pulling petals off flowers for answers because that was exactly where she was headed.
Hermione supposed it was futile to deny the truth; after all, acceptance was the first step toward finding a solution to any given situation. And her truth at the moment was that she was falling for someone. Rapidly.
That's right. Ever the thinker, logical, rational Hermione Granger had developed a crush on a boy. Not just any boy, either. With the entire school at her disposal, she had inconveniently chosen a pureblood, Slytherin, son of a Death Eater and her supposed enemy.
The boy in question- drumroll, please- was none other than Theodore Nott.
With a groan, she clenched her eyes shut. It couldn’t be happening! So much for acceptance!
Somehow, he had latched himself onto her mind like an unknown variable in the equation of her life and suddenly all the answers were jumbled up because none of it made sense.
Hermione Granger fancied Theodore Nott!
Admitting it was akin to saying Hippogriffs were humble creatures or Nifflers favoured brass over fancy glittering golds.
Unnatural. Impossible.
While hopeless in her romantic pursuits, she wasn’t delusional to see it headed somewhere near fruition. How could it with him being, well- him? She was aware that he was completely off limits, although, she supposed that particular factor made him all the more irresistible. Thanks to the rule-breaking tendency instilled early on by her best friends.
It had all happened so abruptly, firebolts were known to travel slower as compared to her heart on wings. Before she knew or allowed it she was beginning to get fluttery feelings in her chest at the sight of him and Hermione realised she had never fallen for anyone that fast in her entire life. (One, Gildory Lockhart not included.) She was 12 back then for Merlin’s sake. Although her current mental state wasn’t that far off.
Hermione tossed in her bed with an irritable sigh. This was not a part of her back-to-Hogwarts agenda. It had taken her less than a month after returning to Hogwarts for her to fall under his spell. If only she had some inkling of how different this academic year would be for her, she might have been better prepared instead of landing smack-faced into all these deep feelings.
Foolishly, she was under the impression that developing feelings was the poetic equivalent of a gentle blossoming flower that took place- unbidden inside a heart. In her practical experience, she discovered it rather quietly snuck up on you like a Tarantula in the dark. Or perhaps something less menacing. Nevertheless, the point being, that she was doomed from the get-go.
A soft sigh from her peacefully asleep roommate had Hermione turning in the blonde’s direction. It was all her fault, she glared at the unaware sleeping form.
Yes, that was right. Come to think of it, It all started when Daphne Greengrass walked into her life.
After the war, Hermione Granger chose to return to Hogwarts to complete her N.E.W.T.s, seeking a taste of normalcy, while Harry and Ron embarked on Auror training. Despite being faced with a difficult decision, Hermione understood that this path would help her find herself again. As September arrived, she stepped onto platform 9¾, discovering that only a handful of familiar faces had returned, including Neville Longbottom, Hannah Abbott, and Anthony Goldstein. However, she was taken aback to see former rivals from Slytherin: Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, Theo Nott, Blaise Zaibini, Gregory Goyle and Draco Malfoy all dressed in school robes.
Later, she learned that the Slytherins were attending Hogwarts as part of their probation due to their families' connections to Voldemort. The unusual reunion brought together 14 students in an exclusive 8th-year program, granting them a shared dormitory in the castle’s dungeons, complete with a common area and kitchen. Initially hoping for a roommate like Hannah, Hermione found herself paired with Daphne Greengrass. Given their turbulent history, Hermione braced herself for potential conflict, determined not to let anyone ruin the experience for her. The war was over. She was done being bullied.
Naturally, she had expected the blonde to harbour some sort of residual resentment for her predicament, however, it was quickly proven to be untrue when much to her surprise, Daphne offered a heartfelt apology on their first night, dispelling any tension between them and laying the groundwork for an unexpected friendship.
As the days progressed, Daphne proved to be Hermione's polar opposite—a bubbly blonde with a cheerful disposition, her zero sense of superiority had won any doubts Hermione might have had about her. Not only that, Daphne also worked as a buffer for the rest of the Slytherins, always keeping them in line. Specifically, Pansy, who had no filter when it came to her thoughts.
Although there was no denying that even with her sarcastic commentary, Pansy had reformed her ways like the rest of them. Still, it wasn't enough in the eyes of the Ministry, therefore all Slytherins were assigned to partake in mandatory Muggle Studies much to Hermione's displeasure because she had somehow ended up being a personal tutor to the group over the first month.
Daphne being her roommate had begged her for help and she had been unable to refuse for the sake of spreading knowledge and her obvious curiosity to see her reactions to all things muggle. It was only supposed to be her roommate but then Theo had joined, followed by Blaise, Greg, an annoyed Pansy and surprisingly- Draco Malfoy. Although Malfoy kept enough distance to keep plausible deniability should he be called out. Somehow she had gotten roped into teaching them all.
Now she knew how Harry felt when she had steamrolled him to teaching them DADA in the 5th year, she recalled with a fond smile. It was for the best, that’s how they managed to form such strong bonds. Hermione had no similar expectations with this group as Daph called it SCRAPs (Specially-Curated-Roster-for-Arrogant-Purebloods). Malfoy had generously suggested that Arrogant be replaced with another bad word, starting with A. The idea was knocked down by a unanimous vote.
Hermione had to admit, without the hostility, that it was kind of fun to form a study group based on people who actually listened to her.
Hermione also secretly admitted that she had preferred Theo’s name for the group-
SCRIPTs; Specifically-Curated-Roster-for-Icky-Purebred-Tarts!
With Daphne quickly becoming a good friend, and her tutoring lessons, Hermione found herself in the company of the Slytherins more often than expected. Granted there were only 14 8th years in school and they tended to stay in the common room, away from the rest of the curious eyes that followed the odd group.
The first time she felt something stirring in her chest was on the night of her 19th birthday, a week into her tutoring sessions. She had received an avalanche of birthday cards celebrating her as a national hero, along with presents from her close friends and Daphne. The chorus of "Happy Birthday" echoed around the school throughout the day. It wasn't until that evening, after their tutoring lesson, that Theo approached her.
"Daphne mentioned it's your birthday today, good thing she did, with such a lowkey approach of your friends, who would've guessed?" His brown eyes, the exact same shade as his hair, had
glinted with amusement as he teased her.
Hermione had found herself smiling in response, it was hard not to fall to his charm. There was no denying that Theodore Nott was incredibly handsome, with hooded eyes, a charming smile
and wavy hair carelessly falling over his eyes.
"Happy birthday, love." With an expert flick of his wand, he had conjured a beautifully crafted,
single red rose for her. Like a magician in one of those TV shows, Hermione watched as a child
and scoffed at. Only this was real, the rose was real and so was the boy holding it out to her. The gesture, small as it may have seemed, had taken her by surprise. She'd never been given a
flower by a boy before. Forget Ron, not even Krum with all his international relations and
diplomatic skills had done that for her and Theo, barely an acquaintance- that too with such
complicated history- had done it so smoothly. As though being that thoughtful was the easiest thing in the world to do.
Suddenly feeling very glad that she hadn't pursued anything with Ron beyond that kiss in the chamber of secrets, Hermione wondered what else she was missing out on because the
feeling she was getting in her chest was very novel and promised wonderful things. Secretly,
she wanted to experience more of it.
As she had accepted the flower from Theo, Hermione was forced to view him in a new light
and that was the beginning of a very strong infatuation.
Hermione opened her side drawer to check on the rose she had preserved in her favourite book, Hogwarts A History. Carefully touching the sides of the flattened flower like her touch would turn it into ash, she released a heavy sigh. That’s how he had managed to slither into her heart. Pun intended. After that interaction, she began to notice him more. How he lit up the room with his smiles, making everyone laugh with his easy jokes- that she was pleased to report were never offensive. He was smart, well informed and proper. Theodore Nott just oozed charm wherever he went, and Hermione had found herself drowning in it.
Gingerly closing her book and placing it gently back, Hermione fell back in her bed with a sigh. For the two weeks that followed the interaction, she had managed to keep her brains in check, till earlier tonight. When he had once again managed to make her heart race.
October had brought rainy nights with it and instead of going out, some of the 8th years began
playing indoor games. It was Hermione who had suggested the Never Have I Ever, muggle game and soon had found herself becoming the centre of attention.
"Never have I ever two-timed." Daphne looked around the group expectantly. Theo, Draco, Blaise, Neville, Hermione and Hannah all held their butterbeer- courtesy of the
kitchens- while Blaise took a swig with a scoff and Pansy followed with a roll of her eyes.
Hermione covered her mouth with her hand to keep her laughter in as looks were exchanged.
"Never have I ever broken girl code." She chimed in, grinning at Pansy teasingly.
"Oh please, as if." Pansy scoffed and took a sip, when Hermione continued to grin, her eyes
narrowed challengingly. "Fine. Never have I kissed one of the golden boys." She fired back.
Hermione poked her tongue on the inside of her cheek and begrudgingly took a small sip. Several sounds of surprise followed the move. She caught Draco Malfoy's eye and a blonde eyebrow rose significantly.
"That's not the most surprising thing." Neville leaned in conspiratorially, tipsy from his half-
empty bottle and proceeded to prove his point. "Never have I ever ridden a dragon."
Hermione threw a half-angry glare at him and drank.
“What!!!!!" Daphne did a double take, while Hannah nodded in confirmation. Her intel fresh off Neville no doubt. Multiple surprised shouts rang around the room. Blaise and Theo were staring at her wide-eyed. Malfoy’s other eyebrow joined its brother and Pansy looked impressed.
Hermione sighed, "Yes, yes. Shocking, I know. Can we move on now please?" She turned to
Hannah, hoping she'd come to the rescue and missed the sneaky glances exchanged by the
group. Before Hannah could come to her aid, Blaise jumped in. "Never have I ever gotten 10 Owls."
"Or slapped a boy," Daphne added cheekily, prompting Hermione to groan and take 2 sips
together.
"Har- har, Daphne." Malfoy threw her a glare at the comment.
"You're all deliberately targeting me! That's not fair." Hermione whined as her friends shared a
laugh at her expense.
"Perhaps because you need to loosen up the most, Granger." Blaise tipped his drink at her in solute and lifted it to his lips.
Hermione opened her mouth but Theo cut her off. "Alright cut it out, will you?" He levelled everyone with a look. "Never have I ever been caught snogging by a Professor."
There was a collective groan as everyone except them drank, including Neville. Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock. All hell broke loose as everyone abandoned their drinks in favour of exchanging details.
"Neville you sneaky little vine." Daphne’s voice carried over the noise. Neville, who was quickly turning red, launched into an explanation.
Over the circus, Hermione caught Theo's eye. He raised his glass and winked at her, making her smile falter. The little jab was for her benefit. While everyone else was arguing, shouting to be heard or laughing at someone’s expense. They were sharing a smile. There was something about sharing a secret moment among the chaos that made her heart beat faster. The moment stilled, lasting longer as everything around her blurred and focused solely on him. He had done it for her, caused this little ruckus to get everyone off her back. Abruptly, she felt something inside her chest drop to the very bottom of her stomach, like a freefall or a fast-moving Ferris wheel from the fairs she went to as a child. She hadn't felt that way ever before and that's when Hermione knew she was in trouble. The rest of the game was a hazy blur from then on.
Back in her bed, Hermione blinked, shedding the image of his dazzling smile from her eyes and the plain canopy came into view. A frustrated sigh escaped her as the jittery feeling from earlier that evening returned on full blast, securing the runaway doubts as she came into acceptance of the fact that somehow she had begun to really, really like Theo.
That she looked forward to their interactions and her heart raced every time he winked at her or gave her his attention. It was definitely not platonic feelings that she was experiencing. Neville, Blaise, Gregory, Anthony, hell even Malfoy surrounded her all the time yet none of them came close over anticipation or evoked such strong reactions as Theo did. She had to completely rule out all other factors, and exhausted every reason that could've explained her favouritism. Logically speaking, only one thing made sense.
There was no more keeping it down under the proverbial rug.
She had a major crush on Theodore Nott.
Biting her lips, she turned to her side.
This complicated things since she wasn't sure if he found her attractive at all or wanted
something... non-platonic. Worse, how would her friends react to the news when they found
out? Would she be crucified by the Gryffindors for fraternising with old enemies? If word got out, Ron would explode in a blast to rival Seamus.
And what about Theo? Would she make a fool of herself if he discovered the truth? She would happily jump on a broom than experience either situation.
Hermione put a pillow over her mouth and groaned. This was not happening!
She had no answers to any of the questions for once in her life. The only thing she knew for sure- she was most definitely screwed.
——
The next morning, Hermione woke up cranky and very obviously unrested. She had spent half the night tossing and turning, trying to come to terms with her truth and as a result, she was too
grumpy to deal with people. Sensing her mood, Daphne had thankfully left her to her own devices at their usual spot at the breakfast table. Which was at the Hufflepuff table because houses were advised to mingle during meal times, there were no longer reserved tables. Anyone could sit anywhere, and 8th-years had subconsciously chosen a neutral one as theirs. She was lucky enough to get 2 minutes of peace before more 8th years arrived. Blaise took a seat next to her and after a solid 2 minutes of passing this and that, Hermione had had enough.
"Are you a wizard or what? Summon things for Christ's sake. Let me eat in peace."
Blaise quirked an eyebrow at her, his hazel eyes narrowed on her. "Is it your time of the month?"
He asked in all seriousness.
Hermione huffed. "Don't test me Blaise or I'll quiz you about the types of technology muggles
have." That shut him right up. With a shrug, he went back to his plate, eating at a pace that could rival Ron’s.
Across from her Malfoy’s mouth twitched though he wisely chose to stay out of it. Wise, not an adjective she would’ve associated with said blonde a few weeks ago. Heck, she wouldn’t have associated anything with him. Period.
Even now, unlike the rest of the Slytherins, they barely interacted outside of SCRAPs. Well, that was to be expected after years of enmity. Though she knew he no longer had the same views- he wouldn’t be taking her class if he did- she was aware they would always have this glass wall between them, and neither would try to breach it. It didn’t matter how much the spirit of unity went around, some habits were hard to break. Somehow they had an unspoken treaty of civility and she was all right with it.
Hermione train of thought came to a screeching halt when Theo suddenly plopped in the seat next to Malfoy. His brown hair was messy, and his eyes a little red from lack of sleep. "Anyone up for a trip guys to Hogsmeade?" Sniffing, he popped a grape into his mouth and looked around the table expectantly.
Next to him, Pansy rolled her eyes. "You've been craving sugar too much lately." He grinned at her in response causing small butterflies to flutter in her already queasy stomach with the casual display of his dimples.
"And firewhiskey," Daphne added next to Hannah, drawing the attention of Blaise and Neville.
"Oh please.” Theo dismissed the girls. “Let me have fun. We're all finally free, aren't we? We survived. All of us should be celebrating life!" He threw up his hands enthusiastically.
Normally, Hermione would've jumped in to throw her two cents but presently she wasn't feeling it. Apparently, Neville was. "Yeah! I'm just glad I don't have to listen to my Gran and uncles
anymore. Free man." He returned the enthusiastic gesture much
"Alright, free man." Theo gave Neville his 1000-megawatt smile- the one that melted her
right off. "While we're at it, let's find you a date as well."
Through the haze, she picked up the word date. Hermione's ears perked up. "Date? Whatever for?" She quietly leaned in and asked Hannah without drawing anybody's attention.
"Didn't Anthony tell you?" Hannah frowned and immediately waved her hand to get to the exciting news. "Nevermind. The student committee decided this year to go for a Halloween ball
instead of the regular feast. In light of everything, to promote inter-house unity and whatnot. Isn't that fantastic?" She squealed.
"Ohhh." Hermione blinked. A ball meant dress shopping and asking someone out as a date.
Two things that weren't Hermione's forte and the only boy she would've liked to go with, just left the table to go look for a partner. She watched him walk away with a heavy exhale. "Yes, Hannah. It's fantastic."
----
"Hermione, how can you stand to be around them? Doesn't it bother you? They're the kids of bloody DeathEaters."
For the 10th time that month, Ginny had brought up the same topic.
Hermione, Ginny and Luna were sitting by the lake, soaking in what appeared to be the last sunny day of the year. Since they were in different years, the trio often made time to hang
out together despite their busy schedules.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione willed herself to stay calm. The majority of Weasleys were hot-headed, she’d learned to deal with it. "Didn't we learn better than to judge people by their fathers' mistakes, Ginny?"
The youngest Weasley tossed her hair over her shoulder, shrugging. "Sure. In an ideal world, it's all well and good. In reality, it's not that simple. Wait till Ron finds out you teach muggle studies to Malfoy. He will go ballistic!"
Hermione had no doubts about that. "I believe you because Ron hasn't grown up and that's exactly why we didn't work. Harry, on the other hand, he'll understand. I know it." She knew
Harry forgave far more easily than Ron did. He’d had enough grudges to last a lifetime.
"I still think you should change company." Ginny persisted still, eyebrows raised in a very Molly-esque manner.
"Maybe we should change perspective, Ginny," Luna suggested in a dreamy voice, in contrast to the redhead's stern one. "Besides, Hermione and Draco have similar auras. It's fascinating. I think you'd make great friends." She added with a confident nod.
Hermione stared in surprise at her friend while Ginny barked out a laugh. "Sure. When England
wins the Quidditch World Cup and we all marry Veelas!"
Luna calmly surveyed Ginny. "I can see how you and Ron are related."
It was Hermione's turn to burst into laughter while Ginny spluttered. "Take that back Luna!"
"No, I don't think I will. Thank you."
Hermione laughed harder at the polite refusal. The blonde was truly one of a kind. Unlike the
rest of them, the war hadn't changed the way she viewed things and Hermione loved that for her. "Luna. Never change!" Hermione smiled as the laughter died out.
Luna just returned the smile with a bittersweet one. "We all do Hermione, sooner or later."
----
"Did you hear about the Halloween Ball?" Daphne walked into their shared room like a
breeze and plopped down on Hermione's bed. "It's going to be lovely. I'm so psyched!"
Hermione barely looked up from her book of Greek Mythology. "It's just an excuse for the
students to form alliances and mingle."
"Works for me." Daphne shrugged.
Hermione put her open book across her chest. "Are you going with a date?"
"Yes, I am. With you. No boy drama for me at the moment." Daphne winked, throwing her hair over her shoulder. "Unless you want to take someone else."
She did. A very handsome brunette. There was no way she was admitting it out loud though. "Of course not." Hermione attempted to sound casual while burning with curiosity on the inside. "Who's everyone else going with?" She asked, playing with the spine of her book.
"Let's see." Daphne began counting on her fingers. "Blaise is taking Sasha. Neville and
Hannah. Theo's taking Pansy- cause she threw a fit about not having options- and Draco is taking Astoria- cause she threw a fit too." Daphne rolled her eyes. "Oh and Greg's taking a 7th year, Izzy."
"Oh okay.." It made Hermione feel a tad better knowing that Theo hadn't asked anyone.
"So, will you go as my date?" Daphne pouted prettily at her.
Ideally, this was the perfect opportunity to go with Theo but who was she kidding? Of course, that wasn't going to happen! "Sure Daph. I'll go with you."
"Brilliant. We have 10 days to plan. We just need to go dress shopping immediately. I'm thinking of going as a Vampire and...." Daphne launched into details about costumes and makeup while
Hermione tried to keep up with it. She might not be going with the boy she liked, but still, it was
their first party after the war and Hermione planned on enjoying it with her friends.
Later that night, Hermione went to the kitchen to get some water and was faced with the most
astonishing sight.
Draco Malfoy was sitting in the common room trying to set up a projector. Hermione gawked at
the picture it presented. A part of her wanted to turn around and go back to bed. The other part, the curious one, stayed and silently watched him fidgeting with the device. She knew what he was doing wrong, the know-it-all inside her was bursting to announce 'You're doing it wrong' but she held her tongue.
"You must be itching to tell me what I’m doing wrong right now." Malfoy's drawl made her jump. His head was still bent over the device.
Hermione started at his voice. And here she was thinking she'd been subtle! Hermione walked over to the living area and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "How did you know it was me?"
"Your furball followed you out," Malfoy replied without a beat, nodding his head toward the
armchair Crookshanks had currently occupied.
"Oh." She awkwardly stood there watching him attempt to make it work, unsure whether to leave or stay. She might have gotten used to Malfoy during Scraps but one-on-one wasn’t something she’d experienced yet. They still trudged on ice around each other.
After a few beats of silence, Malfoy exhaled and lifted his head. "Feel free to jump in anytime
now."
Hermione stared at the back of his head, caught off guard by his casual statement. Was he really asking for her help in his own arrogant way? When she made no move, he turned his head around to look at her questionly.
She could walk away, Hermione didn’t have to help him. But she also wanted to see how well the device worked magically. In the end, her curiosity got the better of her. "Right." She moved into action, immediately taking over from him. He was right about one thing, the nerd in her was itching to fix it. With deft fingers she set it up in no time, these projectors were charmed to work without electricity and it fascinated her to see how it would play out. "The filmstrip goes here and the lights need to be turned off."
With a flick of his wand, Malfoy non-verbally blew the candles while Hermione adjusted the height of the picture. "Here it goes." She happily announced as the colours burst into light and the intro came on.
"Thanks," Malfoy muttered softly, sending her into shock.
Had she not caught the word, she wouldn’t have believed her ears. Malfoy just thanked her! “Right,” Hermione was befuddled enough to forget peeking at the movie title to appease the gods of curiosity. “I’ll just.. let you get on.” In a daze, she got to her feet, scooped Crookshanks in her arms and headed to her room. She'd only taken two steps when-
"Granger, wait!"
She spun around, eyebrows raised. Malfoy didn't meet her gaze, his eyes were fixed on a sleepy
Crookshanks in her arms as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Frown lines marred his forehead, it struck her at the moment how much he had changed in appearance. She hadn’t seen his cocky, self-entitled smirk in a very long time. Since The Inquisitorial Squad, probably?
"I know it's too late and it might not matter to you... I-" He broke off, took a deep breath as if gathering his thoughts and began again. "I deeply regret my actions and choices. My remorse is a burden I'll bear for life, I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I’m not that person anymore and I wish to be disassociated from him. I’m aware that it’s a little too late, that it might not matter, however, I thought I owed you as much to acknowledge it at the very least."
Silence met the statement. If his words of gratitude had shocked her, his apology had knocked her mind right out of the park.
All Hermione could do was stare at her childhood bully who had once made her life hell, and now was apologising to her, while settling to watch a muggle movie.
Oh, Merlin. If only Harry was here to witness the historical development.
He had come a long way, then again, so had she.
For the first time, his name sounded different to hear own ears. "Malfoy."
Grey eyes finally lifted to meet hers. "It's never too late for anything.