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Breaking: Rising Star Alexis Ness Announces Shocking Retirement from Football.
His stomach was still flat, though his muscles had started to soften. He found it difficult to bring himself to exercise these days, though Micha never complained. He had gained some weight since retirement, no longer constrained by an athlete’s diet.
And, of course, because of the baby.
The retirement was decided by Micha, long before he had even gotten pregnant. They had been together for so long after all, and they weren’t getting any younger. Alexis’ heart hadn’t been in the game either, and Micha could tell he was losing his passion on the field.
Everyone could tell, really, was what Micha had told him. It would be better to have a quiet retirement than be publicly fired for his sloppy performances.
Micha would be alright, having already evolved to his peak form as the greatest in the world. Even during Alexis’ slump in performance, he had never faltered. He continued to rise, far out of Alexis’ reach.
And then he fell back down, with a bouquet of roses and a smile that Alexis no longer recognized.
Things had been strained between them, in a way only Alexis could see. He still stuck by Micha, quiet and dutiful, like nothing had ever changed.
But in his heart, it felt like something had shifted. He felt like a porcelain doll, with Micha pulling on a string to make him speak prerecorded lines—a ghost living a hollow life in a home that no longer existed. He smiled when he was supposed to, and laughed at Micha’s jokes. He carried their water bottles and towels, made their daily meals, and spent his nights awake in Micha’s bed, dazed and sore.
For a moment, Alexis thought he was going crazy. No one mentioned seeing a change, and Micha especially acted like nothing was wrong.
It was only him, the odd one out.
He never mentioned it, afraid that he really was just imagining everything, that the world was the same as before .
Like nothing had happened.
Maybe that was a good thing. That would mean Micha had never asked him to find a new master, hadn’t abandoned him to the dogs of Blue Lock for reasons unknown.
Maybe it was just a bad dream, and maybe that dream had continued when Micha had come home with his arms full of flowers.
That was never something they did. The one time Alexis tried to gift him something, he found it thrown in the trash the next day. It was a lesson quickly learned.
He had sat Alexis down gently on their couch, displaying the bouquet with flourish. White roses dyed with blue, sprinkled with baby’s breath, freshly prepared and fragrant. Alexis breathed in, looking for that familiar scent, the perfume he wore, that Micha had told him he liked.
It was overwhelming, so much that he didn’t even realize when Micha had placed a hand on his thigh, rubbing comforting circles on his skin. An unfamiliar position, knowing how Micha hated physical touch in any form.
But his hands were so soft, more gentle than anything Alexis had felt in a long time. Nothing like the painful grip of his hands around Alexis’ neck, the pulling of his hair, the biting of his skin. Had it come from anyone else, he would have been ashamed of his reaction. He shivered, face turning pink before he could control himself. Micha's touch burned him so good, like a freezing man desperate enough to stick his hand into a roaring fire.
He whimpered, a small, embarrassing sound that Micha had surely heard, if the resulting squeeze had meant anything.
And just like that, the months of confusion had flown out the window. Oh, Micha, who knew how to pull his strings so well. It hadn’t taken much for Alexis to agree, though if he thought back to that day, it felt like his head had been underwater. Micha’s words were muffled, unfocused and distant as he sank into the cushions. He focused on how his lips had formed his name, Alexis , so sharp in his pronunciation, so sure in his delivery. Micha’s eyes never left his, so captivating that Alexis found it difficult to even blink, A deep, deep ocean that Alexis wanted to drown in.
He wondered if their baby would have them as well, eyes as sharp as a knife.
Or maybe their eyes would be a soft magenta, rounded and downturned. A mix of both perhaps, a gentler blue or a cutting pink.
Micha had guided the conversation with a sure hand and a kind smile as he told Alexis everything they’d do. He had already discussed Alexis’ retirement with their coach, who had agreed that Alexis was no longer in the right state to continue playing. Alexis knew that as well, with how unmotivated he had been as of late.
It would be perfect for them, a new chapter of their lives.
Alexis knew his own parents and how difficult it had been for him as a child. He knew a bit about Micha as well, and how he would never want their child to go through the same. It would be just right then if Alexis was able to stay home with the baby. Micha would never stray too far, only travelling when absolutely necessary and bringing them along once the baby was old enough.
He had more than enough money, they could buy a bigger house with an even bigger yard. He’d get someone to make a library just for Alexis, his own private space, stocked with every book he could dream of. It would be in a quiet neighbourhood, away from the world.
It would be just the two of them, soon to be three.
His words dripped like honey, sweet and sticky, a golden haze that Alexis could barely parse through. Any response he had faded with every whisper of Micha’s touch, searing his fingertips into Alexis’ flesh. He trailed his hand up his thigh, resting just beneath the fabric of his shorts.
What could he say, except yes?
Micha had been elated, or as elated as he could get. It was enough to comfort Alexis, that he had made the right choice. He had taken Alexis’ hand in his own, kissed his palm and pulled him close.
He had gotten some well-wishes from his team, Micha taking no time to break the news to the world. When any journalist asked, his coach would respond that he had left for health reasons, and it was unlikely he’d make a comeback.
When Micha had found him watching the interviews, he turned the TV off and guided Alexis to bed.
His retirement had been announced six months ago, and his pregnancy was confirmed three months after. He was maybe 10 weeks along, still in the first trimester. The baby was officially a fetus, just the size of his finger.
There was a baby growing inside him. Very soon, he’d have to give birth. After that, he’d have to raise them, feed and clothe them, rock them to sleep and sing lullabies. But before that, Alexis had to suffer through nausea and a constant exhaustion that seemed to seep into his bones. It was uncomfortable, the thought of being responsible not just for his own well-being, but for a tiny, helpless little thing, that could disappear at any moment.
But Micha was so, so happy.
For a brief moment, in the in-between, when every pregnancy test came back negative. Alexis, staring down at the single line, had felt some relief, before his stomach began to sink in guilt. They wanted a baby, and Alexis wasn’t pregnant. Micha had looked upset, had asked Alexis to take another test in case it was a false negative.
It wasn’t.
Alexis panicked, silently and to himself, as Micha became distant. For a moment, it was like his worst fears had been confirmed. When had Micha ever asked for anything from him, and now his one request couldn’t be fulfilled because of him. All Micha wanted was a child, a family with Alexis, and it was something Alexis wanted too.
He was disappointing Micha, and Micha would leave him. Micha didn’t even touch him after, didn’t hold him the way Alexis had found himself getting used to. He silently put on his coat before going for a walk, muscles tense. Alexis stayed at home, counting the minutes as Micha’s footsteps went further and further away. He would leave him again, after Alexis had just gotten him back.
A few weeks later, they tried again. There was no tenderness, just a deep, desperate desire for it to work .
And it did. The second time around, he had been even more nervous. He hadn’t told Micha, not wanting to feel the weight of his disappointment if it was another negative. Alexis couldn’t barely bring himself to look, too afraid of what he’d have to tell Micha if he asked.
It was even more of a relief when it was positive.
He had felt weightless, restless, waiting for Micha to come home so he could give him a sweet surprise, and he could have Micha smile at him again, hug him, kiss him, anything to show that he was going to stay.
Micha had done just that, his impassive face breaking out into a grin, like nothing Alexis had ever seen before. It was bright, blinding, and for a moment, that was all. It was just the two of them, swaying back and forth in a kitchen, Micha holding him tight. It was everything Alexis had ever wanted, and it was beautiful.
Once the fact had been processed, Alexis couldn’t bring himself to say anything. How could he, when he saw how happy Micha finally was? After years of anger at the world, his pain and loathing, the parts of him that only Alexis had witnessed, wasn’t it a relief that he could come home to something as beautiful as a family?
So Alexis kept his mouth shut, smiling when he was supposed to, laughing at Micha’s jokes. He hadn’t been joking when he promised Alexis a house, already having hired designers and builders after buying the land. He brought home pregnancy books and baby magazines, asking Alexis for his opinion on outfits and toys. Micha was even looking as far ahead as their baby’s education, sorting through the different private schools he could send them to.
It didn’t feel real. He couldn’t find the right words to explain how he felt, the sensation of drowning on dry land. His Micha felt almost like a stranger some days, and felt like his entire world on others. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink or move without the vivid image of the little clump of cells inside him, that were multiplying and maturing until they’d grow the features of a human. And after that, they’d gain something of his, or something of Micha’s. Blonde or magenta, the line of their nose or the shape of their lips, they’d be a blend of the two of them.
Would they love his stories, would they believe in magic?
Would they love football?
Would they love him?
However their baby grew up to be, they’d be given a good life. They’d be allowed to dream to their heart's extent. They’d have extravagant parties for every occasion, every birthday, every Christmas. They’d be spoiled rotten by both parents, and they’d sleep in a warm bed with a full stomach, a smile on their face after getting a kiss goodnight.
That’s what Micha promised.
Alexis had gotten a message from his sister, after his retirement was announced. He hadn’t read it, placing the phone in Micha’s outstretched hand when he’d asked. Micha had frowned at it, before sending back a photo of the positive pregnancy test.
Micha had blocked her, along with the rest of Alexis’ family.
The flowers Micha had bought that day still stood in their room, where he had put them right after. He told Alexis he’d get them a proper rose garden, and that he’d find a way to create real blue roses for him to admire every day. Until then, he’d keep the fake ones, the pure white stained with dye that slowly spread over every petal.
He changed them regularly, before Alexis could even notice the rotting.