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Till doesn’t expect Mizi to say yes but she does. He also doesn’t expect for Ivan and Sua to come up to them a week later holding hands. Neither of them seem to be enjoying it.
“You copyin’ me?” Till asks, belligerent in his confusion. He can’t help but feel like they are mocking him somehow.
“When in Rome,” Ivan says, infuriatingly vague. Mizi says she thinks they’re cute together, dark hair and dark hair. Sua, as ever, is impossible to read. She stares at Till like a cat does, like she knows she’s small and cute and infinitely more powerful than the rest of them combined.
“Since we are couple best friends,” Ivan goes on, ignoring when Till sputters asshole, you are not my best friend, “we should celebrate.”
“The beach house?” Mizi asks with real longing in her voice. Mizi loves the ocean and Till loves Mizi and everyone else does too. He already knows they’re all going.
“Why not? My parents are out of town,” Ivan says flippantly. His parents are always out of town. Till is not entirely sure Ivan even has parents, that he isn’t some construct of dark magic, bad vibes and porn. Most of the time the two of them are hanging out, Ivan’s got the weirdest sex shit imaginable playing in the background while they pretend to study. Ivan doesn’t need to study and Till’s only got a book open on his lap to hide his boner. His foster parents don’t have internet; they think it’s a sin. It’s the only chance he gets to use google or see what tits look like, so it’s worth the questionable company.
Despite the fact that his foster parents hate Till enough to put a padlock on the pantry door, they like Ivan. It’s no big deal getting the ok to go over, even for the weekend. Ivan shows up with a binder full of notes about Jesus, cross stamped in the front cover. He explains point by point what they’ll be studying on this little Vacation Bible School retreat. Till wouldn’t be surprised if the cross left a burn mark in Ivan’s palm afterward.
They get Mizi and Sua and have a nice time at the beach. It’s too cold for real swimming but they run around on the sand a while and get wet up to their knees. Everyone has a beer or two or three, though Ivan just splits a wine cooler with Mizi. Till and Mizi have only kissed once so far, closed mouth and chaste in a public park. He thinks about going for it again, but then Ivan checks him bodily into the sea.
“You fuck,” Till sputters. “My fucking phone.”
Ivan shrugs. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
Till knows that he means a newer model instead of the cracked no-data shit Till’s got now. He bristles. “Everything isn’t gonna go your way all the time, you know that?”
“I do,” Ivan says evenly, then hands out clean dry towels.
After they all shower, they sit in the living room with a bottle of tequila and one shot glass. Is it weird they have one shot glass? Nobody’s sick, it’s probably fine.
“Truth or dare,” Sua says, starting the game with no preamble. She looks at Mizi.
“Truth,” Mizi says.
“Are you having a good time?” Softball question, but Mizi melts a little, eyes going warm gold the way they always do around Sua.
“I really am.”
It’s nice to see her so happy. Till must be making a really gross, obvious face because Mizi turns to him next. He picks dare because he always does, and she makes him take a shot. He was already feeling the beers so he needs to slow the hell down before he embarrasses himself.
“Truth or dare,” Till asks Ivan because there’s only four of them, he’s the only one left.
“Truth.”
“How much fucking money do you even have?” Till asks, trying to sound more grossed out than jealous.
“I don’t know,” Ivan says thoughtfully. “There’s ready money and then the other accounts. More after my parents die.”
It’s such a weird, cold, fucked up thing to say but it’s the right group to say it in.
“Truth or dare?” Ivan asks Mizi and she picks truth. She always picks truth.
“Who was your first kiss?”
Mizi’s eyes slide a little left which is just, just so fucking cute, she’s shy - except she’s not avoiding him, exactly. She’s curled a little toward him, away from Sua, who smiles with those narrow cat eyes at Till. Till must make some kind of sound because Mizi does look at him then, shyly bright. She doesn’t think it’s weird. Is it not weird?
“Well, girls do that kind of thing sometimes,” Ivan says sagely. “Practice, you know?”
Till does not know. He’s seen some pornos about it with Ivan, though, and he doesn’t want to think about that kind of stuff with Mizi. Mizi’s not - not like that. He doesn’t think about her like that. That would be fucked, he loves her.
“Truth or dare?” Mizi asks Ivan back, playfully. She’s breaking the rules a little by doubling back, but she’s cute so everyone lets her.
“Truth,” Ivan says.
“Are you a virgin?” Mizi asks like she knows the answer. They all do. They just like him saying it.
“No,” he says. Till stares at him and so does Mizi. Ivan always said he didn’t need a girl when he had porn and Till, which was - weird, yeah, but Till thought…
“Sua,” Mizi says, looking terribly, terribly hurt.
“Why not? He’s my boyfriend. That’s what they’re for.” She spits the word out like a bite of gristle or bone and Mizi flinches. That meant something. What the fuck did it mean?
“Hey,” Till says hotly, drunk enough to get pissed but not really sober enough to say why.
“Truth or dare,” Ivan interrupts, looking at him. The girls are locked in some wordless, awkward conversation and didn’t even seem to hear him. Maybe Ivan’s helping out for once, maybe Till doesn’t actually want to get in the middle. Till picks dare, and Ivan makes him take another shot.
“Truth or dare?” Till asks Sua.
“Dare,” she says.
“Take off your shirt.”
Till’s attention snaps to the side and shit, he’s drunk, the world stutters and slurs a little to catch up.
“Fuck you, Ivan, that’s my dare-”
“I don’t…” Mizi stops midway through her sentence. She’s unhappy, really really unhappy, and that distracts Till enough to forget Ivan again. Till’s trying to find words like hey she doesn’t have to, it’s my dare, it’s okay but before he can say anything, Sua just does it. She takes her shirt off and hands it to Mizi, who hugs it to her chest and looks a little like she wants to cry.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sua says indifferently. “Ivan’s seen it and Till won’t care.”
Till doesn’t care, but Mizi clearly does. Then something settles in Mizi, her shoulders relaxing and head back. She pulls at the hem of her own shirt, daringly.
“Then you shouldn’t do it alone,” she says, and her shirt joins Sua’s.
Till is staring, he can’t help staring. Her bra is cream and pink, pink like her hair. He wonders if her panties match. He can see the shadow of her nipple, hard beneath the lace. It wasn’t something he’d thought he’d see from Mizi. It’s like the porn, but real and weird and he doesn’t know if he’s gonna get hard or throw up.
Then Till can’t see anything because fucking Ivan’s got his own shirt off, throwing it over Till’s head to cover his eyes.
“The fuck-“
“You heard the lady, don’t make them do it alone.”
Till snarls a little wordless jumble of cuss words and ill will before peeling off his own band tee and whipping it at Ivan viciously. What the fuck even is this? He’s self conscious in a way he’d thought he’d grown out of, a skinny little bitch next to Ivan. Taller, broader, not-virgin Ivan. Till glances down at Ivan’s abs and hates himself for it. He wants to fucking go home.
“Truth or dare,” Sua asks Mizi.
“Dare,” Mizi says. She never says dare.
“Wait,” Till protests, a vague panic settling in.
“Take a shot with Till.” Sua hands him the shot glass already full to spilling and Ivan’s got his hand on the back of Till’s neck, guiding him. She feeds Till the shot and he takes it, he’s not some kid.
Sua takes her time pouring another shot so Till slumps back but he doesn’t hit the couch. He must be drunk as fuck because at some point there Ivan’s got behind him somehow, and Till’s resting with his bare back to Ivan’s bare chest and what the fuck what the fuck.
“Go away,” Till says, but he can’t really sit up straight so it’s not like Ivan can move without dumping Till on the floor. He watches Sua feed Mizi the shot. A little runs out of the corner of her mouth and Sua licks it.
“Stop, what are you - what are you doing?” Till’s angry, he thinks, but it comes out pathetic, whining.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Ivan assures him, patting his side like he’s a nervous racehorse. “It’s a dare.”
Was it?
“I dare you to kiss her,” Ivan says, belated. Who is he even talking to? Doesn’t matter. Mizi and Sua are already kissing. When did they start? They kiss and they kiss, they slide down to the rug where Mizi’s long pink hair is bright against the green.
“It’s sexy, right?” Ivan asks, like he’s asking if it’s raining outside. It’s supposed to be hot, GIRL ON GIRL LESBIAN SLUT ACTION but this isn’t porn, it’s Mizi. Till realizes he’s saying that, over and over. No it’s Mizi, it’s Mizi, and Mizi’s got her hand up Sua’s pastel purple bra. Then the bra comes off.
“What is this?” Till asks, lost and scared and then Ivan’s got the whole tequila bottle up, pouring a thin steady stream into Till’s mouth. He chokes and swallows and then Ivan rubs his throat, down his chest to the button of his jeans. Till’s hard like he’s always hard around Ivan, in Ivan’s room, looking at porn and pretending not to see that Ivan’s looking at him.
I don’t I’m not Till says and Ivan turns Till’s head toward the girls on the floor.
“Don’t be a buzzkill,” Ivan says, biting Till’s ear ever so gently around the piercings. “Not when Mizi’s having such a good time.” And she is, even though he can’t see her face from this angle, just the curve of her breasts half out of her bra, her panties down around one ankle and fucking Sua in the way.
“I don’t wanna see this,” Till slurs, heartbroken and harder than he’s been his whole life.
“I think you need a drink,” Ivan says. Till won’t open his mouth for the bottle so Ivan shoves his fingers in to hinge Till’s jaw open and stays there. Till bites and draws blood but Ivan just splashes the tequila in, getting more on them than in Till. He stays there, petting Till’s tongue and teeth, letting Till drool all over his hand like a fucking dog.
Please, Till begs. I don’t want to see this. Ivan turns Till’s face over for a kiss and Till, drunk out of his mind and about to cry, still manages to dodge him.
“It’s your girlfriend,” Ivan says, with a strange brightness in his eyes. “So you better.”
Ivan slides down onto the floor, pulling at Till’s jeans and Till realizes with a sudden drunken clarity that this, of all the things Till’s ever done or said, has hurt Ivan.
It’s hard to concentrate on that, though, when Till’s pants are around his ankles and his dick is in Ivan’s mouth. Everything is hot and wet, big tongue and the slight hint of teeth pressing. It feels like Ivan, like a man between his legs. He doesn’t even know if he can come, he’s so wasted so he just has to sit there and take it for what feels like forever. It’s so good it hurts, he wants to hurl, he pushes at Ivan’s face to get him off and ends up fisting his hair instead. Ivan’s mouth is on him and Mizi’s on Sua and Till is so fucking grateful when he finally slumps over sideways, passing out.