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Genya stands on the boulder as he watches the sun rise, blood evaporating from his skin. This was a special boulder--to him anyway--as it’s been the boulder he’s practiced with since Gyomei took him in, he’s carved things into it and is usually laying or sitting on top of it for warmth when he’s cold as it’s out in the sun all day. He smiles as the sky is bathed in oranges, pinks, and blues, the trees illuminated by the sun makes them look like they’re glowing. He relaxes as the sun warms his cold skin, the skin that he still feels like isn’t his own, that’s been sliced up and ripped to shreds, skin that’s been covered in his own blood along with demon blood.
Skin that feels too tight, too suffocatingly tight.
He looks away from the sun and hums, closing his eyes and simply enjoying the warmth on his aching muscles. Shooting a gun upside down made him pull a muscle, so the sun warming his skin is quite nice, helps him relax. Not to mention, it’s nice… sitting in the sun is nice, not being afraid of the sun is nice. Not being afraid of walking outside and seeing the sun, having the sun on his skin…
Not being afraid of burning to death.
(“It’s gonna kill me,” Genya rasps, voice scratchy, “the sun’s gonna kill me.”
He’s terrified. He woke up and he still has claws, he shouldn’t have claws, he shouldn’t be a demon anymore. So why? Why does he still have them? Why does he feel his fangs when he drags his tongue across his top row of teeth? He doesn’t understand, and that’s terrifying. He wants to understand.
But he doesn’t .
“Genya, the sun isn't going to kill you.” Lady Kocho’s voice says softly, gently, as she tries to coax him out of his room. Gyomei grabbed her due to Genya whimpering about being a true demon now.
Did he fuck up?
Is he stuck like this now?
Is he a demon for real?
The thoughts bang around in his head, making him too nervous to unlock the door, making him absolutely terrified of what would happen if a human set foot through those doors. Would he attack them? Would they kill him?
He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know.
“Genya, please, let me in. I just want to help you.”
Though, trust with her was broken long ago.)
He hasn't eaten demons in a hot minute, really. But he still looks like them, still has the powers of them. Sharp eyesight, impeccable hearing, an incredible sense of smell… with a pair of fangs and claws to go along with it. Much to his dismay, he kept those attributes, though he’s learned to live with them. He’s careful with anyone he touches, which is usually just Gyomei, but…
The fear of accidentally nicking someone and getting blamed and killed or falling back into demonic urges scares him. Thankfully, neither have happened yet, and he plans on keeping his track record of not hurting anyone. Which he doesn’t have to do, he doesn’t train like a normal demon slayer anymore… not since he's gotten his arsenal of weapons, which included;
His long range weapon; a precision rifle.
(“This is a rifle that has a 6.5 caliber, it’s effective up to a thousand yards. It’s also lightweight.” Genya’s weaponsmith explains, pride dripping from his tone. Genya drags his finger across the rifle, eyes widening before he smirks.
“Perfect for long range. What’s my mid-range weapon?”)
His medium range weapon; an AR-15.
(“This AR-15. Its caliber is the normal .223 remington.” The smith explains, pulling out the next weapon. “Up to six hundred yards.”
Genya hums, looking it up and down. “What’s my close range?”)
… and his short range, close range, weapon; a simple pistol.
(“This is a Glock 19, 9 mm caliber, effective to fifty yards.” The man reloads the gun. “We also added some upgrades to your shotgun, Shinazugawa-kun, but I don’t think I need to bore you with those.” He brings out the shotgun, which has been polished with new wood replacing the splintered wood.
“Nice. Thank you, I appreciate it.”)
Genya pulls all of the weapons off of his body. He gently sets each gun down, before looking at the sword and… throws it in the river. He grimaces as he rolls his eyes, looking away from it and instead focusing on his guns. He can’t help but focus on his guns, they make him happy… unlike that fucking sword. The sword that only ever makes him mad, angry--
… pathetic. Pathetic that he couldn’t get it to change colors, pathetic he kept breaking it. He has yet to break these guns, so he isn’t as helpless as he was before, thankfully! It’s not like he didn’t try his best with his sword, he did his damn best, but it never worked. All he did was get angrier and angrier until it boiled over; stabbing anything, the ground, rocks, trees, slashing his own belongings in a fit of rage and even sliced one of Himejima-san’s robes when he came into Genya’s room in a fit of rage.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever live that down.
After the fight with the upper moon, Genya came to a realization. A realization that was bashed into his brain, a realization that made his head spin and the urge to rip his throat out--
He was useless. Utterly useless.
“Nobody could have defeated him,” they said. “You don’t have breaths--a breathing style--how much help did you think you were going to be?”
The comments were the worst. They made him feel like scum of the earth, truly worthless. Maybe if his shotgun was long distance, he could have done more? Or would he still have been worthless, a waste? Would he have been able to do anything?
Would he?
Genya picks up his pistol and stares at it. His eyes soften as he looks it over, running his thumb over the grooves of the gun.
“Anaki…”
It’s something stupid, something so stupid. To be the sole reason he and his brother are estranged just because of something he said when he was eight in a moment of stress…
He stares at his gun, grip tightening.
He can do it. He can face him, he can be someone his brother is proud of. He can kill an upper moon like this, he doesn’t even have to get close now!
Coward.
He doesn’t even have to get close at all, he can kill it from a safe distance.
You’re a fucking coward.
He takes a breath and shakes his head, shakes his head as he bites his finger and exhales, the voice in his head that used to cheer him on is now so quiet, it’s like it's not even there. But Genya can hear it.
Coward.
Fucking coward.
Genya’s mood is souring, he knows it, he feels it. But he can’t help but slowly flop back onto the boulder, staring up at the sky. Numbness. He wants to feel numb, wants to be numb, wants… just… to feel nothing. It’s exhausting feeling too many things, making him drop the pistol and cover his head with a groan. Maybe one day he’ll take back control of his mind, take back control of the voice in his head.
He can only hope, really.
“Genya?”
Gyomei’s voice calls out to him. He sits up, looking back. “I’m over here!” He calls, grabbing his four guns; pistol and shotgun in their holsters while he slings the other two over his shoulders, rushing to the sound of Himejima-san’s voice. “I’m coming!”
The Stone Hashira pops into view, and Genya can’t help but smile as he skids to a halt. The Hashira hovers his hand above Genya’s head and as Genya makes an affirmative, “mhm”, his hair is ruffled without hesitation, making him laugh happily. “You’re all warm. Did you enjoy watching the sunrise, Genya?”
“Yep,” Genya chirps back, “I did. Nice and peaceful, you should join me sometime. It’d be nice to have you with me.” He says softly, and the Hashira only hums.
“Maybe one day, Genya. For now, how about you join me on a mission?” Gyomei hums, holding a hand out. Genya blinks, but takes the hand given to him. “Good. Now, keep up, we have a lot of walking to do.” He speaks clearly and confidently, with Genya nodding slightly and casually following closely.
He likes spending time with Gyomei.
Gyomei makes him feel safe, happy, and protected. It’s a feeling he hasn’t felt since he was little--when he would have Sanemi right beside him, protecting him from man and monsters.
And now Sanemi doesn’t even like looking at Genya. But that’s okay, Gyomei is here now.
Gyomei is his protector.
Genya walks side by side with his mentor as leaves, sticks, and gravel crunch and crumble under his feet. He smiles as he looks up at Gyomei, his expression soft as Gyomei says nothing more, quietly walking beside Genya.
“Oh!”
Genya stops in his tracks, and a soft, “hm?”, leaves Gyomei. “What is it, Genya?”
“I need my haori before we leave the forest. I can’t be walking around with four guns for the world to see.” Genya states, and Gyomei seems to chuckle. He turns back, smiling at him. “I’ll catch you in town!” He calls, waving a hand that Gyomei can’t see as he books it back to the Stone Hashira’s estate to grab his haori.
It’s something he’s gained, something to hide his guns. It’s not like he didn’t like his yukata, he still owns it, but he’s stopped wearing it. It remains untouched in his closet.
His yukata is the same as his haori; it’s just purple, but with the addition of some gold embroidered stitching into it, giving it more texture that Genya, admittedly, loves running his fingers across, but also for it to stand out a bit. It was a gift from Gyomei, and he loves it.
It’s warm.
Genya loves being warm.
He grabs it and shuffles around the guns, making the barrels of the guns face downward and shifts the holsters to be near his back instead. Looking over his appearance in his mirror, he smiles.
Yeah. Yeah, he looks okay--better than okay, maybe--but for now he looks okay. He books it out of his room, yelling his goodbye s and see you later s to staff and kakushi alike, who all wave at him and others simply call out a few phrases like, be careful , stay safe , and have fun with Himejima-san . He rushes forward, watching his crow fly above him to lead him to the Stone Hashira, and as soon as he’s in view;
“Himejima-san! I got it! I’m back!”
Gyomei looks back at Genya and gives him a smile. “Let’s go, then,” he says softly, holding his hand out. Genya happily takes it, running his fingers across his claws. “I know we’ll be able to do this mission together.”
Genya beams as he chuckles, a simple, “mhm” leaving the teen. More ruffling to his hair, he can’t help but smile widely.
“Let’s go, gunslinger.”
“Yeah! Let’s go take care of this!”
The two birds fly up and around, and, for now, Genya can be happy.
He can finally be happy.