Work Text:
Jisung slapped his phone down on the night stand beside him. He let out a hefty sigh and rubbed his palms on his eyes. There was no telling how long he had already been awake. He didn’t mind much anyway, he cared more about the fact it was finally 9 AM. Minho had been sleeping for way too long, so Jisung figured nine was an adamant time to force him out of his pillowy bed.
He hopped out of his bed, throwing the covers around not caring to fix them. The bed wasn’t technically his, as he was staying in Minho’s house, but he slept over so often he practically owned the guest room.
Jisung placed his hand on the doorknob and gingerly turned it. He made sure the door shut quietly behind him and made his way across the hall. He was thankful that Minho’s door was already open, that way he wouldn’t have to worry about waking him up that way.
Jisung took a second to stay in the doorway. He knew it was pretty creepy, but he always liked seeing Minho while he was sleeping. He always looked so innocent and peaceful. His long eyelashes completely stilled, his mouth twitching every now and then. It was such a beautiful sight to Jisung. He wished he could climb into the bed with him, peppering his face with sweet kisses. Maybe even kiss him languidly.
Jisung shook his head, knowing he couldn’t think about things like that. None of that would ever happen. He knew it would be better to just admire Minho from afar and keep the way things are. That didn’t stop the pull of his heart though. Everytime they cuddled together on the couch, everytime Minho let him stay over, he wanted to pour out every single one of his feelings.
But he never did it. He never did it because of that one conversation they had.
“I don’t want to be loved romantically. It’s too scary.”
Minho’s exact words.
Jisung’s heart shattered just thinking about that. Ever since then he decided he wouldn’t put the pressure of his feelings onto his best friend.
His best friend. That’s all he was and all he would ever be.
Jisung sighed and finally broke away from the doorway. He now stood at the side of Minho’s bed, staring at his chest slowly rising. He would never get enough of this view. He brought his hand down to Minho’s piercing cheekbone. He let his thumb run up and down it a few times, wondering if Minho could wake up from soft touches like this.
Jisung swore he was about to melt from the sound of his delicate breathing. He trailed his hand down his face, past his neck, letting it rest on his shoulder. Jisung only took a few more moments to admire the other before shoving his shoulder harshly.
He groaned quietly when Minho barely even budged. Thankfully, it only took a few more shakes to get him to stir.
He giggled as Minho whined and slapped Jisung's hand. “Minho, come on, I’m hungry.”
Minho groaned, opening one eye to look up at Jisung, “Go make something yourself then.”
Jisung gave a small slap to Minho’s chest as he pouted, “I wanna go out and get something. Please?”
Minho smashed his face into his pillow. “Oh, Jisung, you abuse the power of your pout.”
Jisung just giggled and skipped out of the room. He closed the door behind him, giving Minho privacy to change his clothes. He plopped down on the over familiar couch and simply waited.
He exhaled suddenly thinking about how he would wait for Minho forever. He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. His brain always had a way about making everything about Minho. It was almost amusing to him at this point.
Thankfully, Jisung wasn’t left to his own devices for too long. Minho asking about how cold it was outside brought him out of his own head. He perked up, looking out the large window on the wall only to see mountains of snow outside.
Jisung grimaced, “It’s snowing pretty heavily. You might wanna bundle up.”
He grinned hearing Minho’s guttural groan in response. He realized he would need more clothes himself since there was so much snow. His sweatpants and t-shirt definitely wouldn't keep him warm.
He reluctantly brought himself off the couch and went to find Minho. He hadn’t exactly planned for the weather so he didn’t have the suitable clothes packed. Using Minho’s clothes instead seemed like a viable solution. Jisung also convinced himself he was gonna use Minho’s clothes simply because of the situation, not because he desperately wanted to have the other’s smell so close to him. Not at all.
He finally came across Minho in his room. He was still shoveling through his drawers and closet, probably looking for more layers.
“Hey, Minho, can I borrow some of your clothes?” Jisung asked, hoping he wouldn’t be harshly rejected.
Minho jumped slightly, turning harshly, seeming to not have expected the other, “Yeah, of course. I’ve got more coats and scarves in my closet.”
Jisung hummed in response, going towards the direction Minho had gestured for him to. He began flitting through each of the shirts and coats in his closet.
After a few minutes of mindlessly searching he turned over to Minho, who was doing the same. “What are you looking for?”
He looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Something to put on over my jacket. I swore I had a longer coat around here somewhere.”
Jisung chuckled softly, “Why do you need another coat? Don’t you have enough layers already?”
Minho threw him a quick glare before continuing his digging, “Never. It’s probably freezing out there.”
“Whatever, you’re just dramatic,” Jisung snatched a random sweater from the closet, “Can I wear this?”
Minho didn’t even care to look at him, just waving him off, “Yeah, wear whatever you want, I don’t mind.”
He slipped the sweater off the hanger, sliding it over his shirt, throwing the hanger haphazardly on the floor. He made a mental promise to pick it up for Minho later. He made sure to grab a random coat and throw that on too.
Just as he turned on his heel to make his way back to the couch, Minho let out a soft, painfully adorable noise. He whipped back around to see Minho approaching him now.
His face adorned the cutest pout imaginable, “I’m not letting you leave with that little of clothes on.”
Jisung let out a sharp laugh, “This little? This is a normal amount.”
Jisung’s heart melted when Minho shook his head, forcing a scarf into his hands.
He sighed, accepting defeat, “Fine, but this is the last thing I’m putting on.”
Minho let out a small giggle before turning back to his mess of clothes. Jisung had to hold back a laugh as he saw Minho’s defeated expression. “Are you finally gonna give up?”
Minho frantically snatched something up from the floor. He then turned to Jisung, holding a pair of earmuffs triumphantly, “This’ll be the last thing. Where are we going anyway?”
Jisung froze for a moment, he hadn’t even considered where he wanted to go. He was more caught up on the fact he was having more time to hang out with Minho.
He hummed, pretending he had already planned everything, “Let’s just go to the cafe down the block.”
Minho nodded and led him out of the room. Jisung fiddled with his scarf as they finally made it to the front door. He smiled shyly as Minho held open the door for him and let him step into the harsh cold first.
The wind nipped at every part of his face, it didn’t seem to care about the scarf Minho had forced onto him, but Jisung was happy nonetheless. He loved seeing the piles of snow spread across the entire road. He always loved the way it shimmered in the morning sun.
As he took a step, he reveled in the satisfying sound that came from beneath his feet. The crunches behind him were a clear sign that Minho was following him closely. He also couldn’t help but appreciate the smells filling his nostrils too. The scent of fresh snow was always his favorite.
He turned around, suddenly curious about how Minho was holding up. They had barely gotten out of the driveway, but he knew Minho was always bad with the cold.
He gave him a soft smile when he saw the constant vibrations in his shoulders. He backtracked just a few steps to be beside Minho. He then slid a hand onto the other’s shoulder.
“You good?” Jisung asked softly, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your shoulders shake that violently.”
Minho glared at him, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just freezing out here.”
“Well, I guess you were right to bring so many layers,” Jisung shrugged.
He waited for Minho to respond, but it seemed he had nothing to say. He went ahead and continued, “Do you want my coat or something?”
Minho looked directly at Jisung, eyes wide and sparklingly beautifully. “I couldn’t do that to you.”
Jisung laughed, shaking his head at him, “You know, I can survive without a coat. Your sweater is pretty warm anyway.”
He stared at the older, entirely intoxicated by the way he was chewing on his lip, thinking hard. It was way too cute to be real.
Finally, Minho sighed, “Okay, can I have your coat?”
Jisung shot him a quick grin, happy that they didn’t have to fight about it for long. He slid his jacket off, immediately being stabbed by the harsh wind. He ignored it though, he cared more about Minho feeling warm.
Jisung didn’t have to ignore the cold for long since his face was immediately heating up when Minho held his arms out. He felt so silly getting flustered over such simple things, like putting on a coat for someone else. He hoped that if the other noticed his pink tinted cheeks, he would blame the chill, not his own actions.
He let his fingers wrap around Minho’s wrist as he slid the sleeve of the jacket on his other arms. Obviously, the wrist holding was not mandatory, Jisung just knew he had to take the opportunity.
Soon, the coat was fully on Minho who was wrapping it completely around his body. He looked so adorable with so many layers yet his nose was still a bright pink. Jisung reached out and let his hand fall onto the fur of Minho’s earmuffs. He wanted to run his hand through his hair, caress his cheeks, anything, but this is all he could do for now.
That small action still had Minho staring at him like a mad man. Jisung sighed, “Sorry, I was just curious how soft they were.”
Minho nodded slightly and continued to trek through the snow.
They walked together for a while, the only sound being the soft crunch of snow beneath them.
Although it was a comfortable silence, Jisung decided to finally break it, “Have you ever found out why you’re so bad with the cold?”
Minho let out a thoughtful hum. “Not really, but I’ve figured it’s just because of how winter is inside my head.”
Jisung tilted his head slightly, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Minho chuckled faintly, “You know, the way I perceive winter and everything. How lonely I feel during winter.”
Jisung let out an exasperated sigh, “I will never understand how you can feel that way. It’s supposed to be the season of cheer!”
“Well for me it’s more like the season of dread,” Minho grimaced before letting a slight smile tug at his lips, “I’ve been starting to see how it’s the season of cheer more recently though. Ever since I’ve been spending my winters with you, Jisung.”
Once again, Jisung felt his face flush immediately, “Wh-what do you mean?”
Minho looked at him, a loving smile still plastered on his face, “You’ve started to brighten up the season for me. It’s started to become something I look forward to.”
Jisung was still a stuttering mess, but he managed to keep his voice steady this time, “What do you look forward to?”
“You know, staying in all day, watching movies with you, drinking hot cocoa together. Those kinds of things,” He let out a small chuckle as he spoke and Jisung swore his heart was about to burst.
He brought his hands up to his face, hoping to conceal some of the red that covered his entire face. His heart was racing just thinking about how fondly Minho was speaking. His tone was too much for Jisung. It was way too… loving.
His voice held a sense of admiration. Jisung couldn’t handle thinking that Minho might admire him. The worst part was that he was considering that Minho might even love him back.
But, despite his strange tone, he couldn’t help but wonder why he only said “Watching movies with you.”
Was he ignoring everything else that would happen during that time? Was he ignoring the way Jisung would nuzzle up into his chest? What about the way he would wrap his hands around Jisung’s waist and their laps would fit together so seamlessly? There’s no way he never noticed the tension between them as they stared into each other’s eyes as Jisung straddled the other.
He couldn’t help but feel hurt at the fact Minho was disregarding all of that. They rarely paid any attention to the movies they watched together anymore. How could he just forget that?
Jisung looked up at Minho, whose attention was only on the snow in front of them. His side profile was as beautiful as ever though. He was as beautiful as ever.
It was painful to see him as attractive as he is. Jisung yearned to be able to kiss his lips. He knew they would fit together perfectly. He always noticed Minho's slightly larger top lip, the exact opposite of his own.
How was he supposed to keep all his feelings to himself when they were so intense? It was overwhelming at this point. Some days Jisung's mind was filled with Minho and only Minho.
He couldn't do it anymore. He genuinely couldn't.
“Minho, I'm in love with you,” Jisung breathed out, hoping Minho wouldn't hate him because of his words.
He tried to read any emotions in Minho's expression as he turned to him, but he was only seeing confusion. His fingers were fiddling with the fur surrounding his ears and he had an eyebrow raised at Jisung.
“I’m sorry, I was adjusting my earmuffs. What was that?” Minho looked back at him, a palm still resting on the muffs. His eyes gleamed with the familiar sparkle and his face adorned a slight pout.
Jisung felt everything inside of him crack. His hands fell to his sides as he stared at the older. He desperately tried to control the emotions displaying on his face. He felt tears already pricking at his eyes, but he rapidly blinked them away.
He doesn't have the courage to say those words again. There was too much worry that Minho wouldn't even want to hear it. He simply couldn't do it again.
That's why he plastered a smile on his face and waved his hand slightly, “Don’t worry about it.”
Minho smiled at him and adjusted Jisung’s scarf briefly. “I’ll race you to the store!”
Jisung was still a blushing mess when Minho dashed away. His hands were so close to his face, but Minho didn’t seem to even notice. Of course he wouldn’t notice, Jisung was just being overly dramatic.
He sighed, it was entirely probable Minho would just forget about all of this. He would never hear the confession, and he would never worry about it. Maybe it was better for the earmuffs to cater his fears.
He knew it would be better to forget all of that happened. He had to or else he might die of embarrassment.
Jisung shook his head, giving in and trying to catch up to Minho. He was far ahead of him at this point, but it didn't hurt to try.
He was thankful Minho wasn't able to run at full speed due to the weather. It affected Jisung too, though. His feet felt way too unstable, it was getting annoying.
He normally loved the snow, but the fact it was currently getting in the way of being close to Minho was pissing him off. Was the world telling him to not be close to Minho? Was this a sign they're never meant to be together?
He could never convince himself they weren't made for each other. Not with the way everything worked out perfectly.
Jisung realized his pace was starting to slow down as he was staring at Minho's back. He had to turn away suddenly. He couldn't handle looking at him much longer.
It hurt how badly he wanted to race up to Minho, tackling him with a huge embrace. Part of him wonders if Minho would accept the touch, turning around and wrestling into Jisung’s touch while the snow covered different parts of them.
It took Jisung a hot minute to realize that he was no longer steady on his feet. The ice was making him stumble and slip, running didn’t seem to have been the best idea. Especially not as he was now face first in the snow.
Pain shot through his nose first, then through the rest of him. He couldn’t tell if it hurt so bad because of the harsh contact or because of just how freezing the ground was.
He let out a pained groan and slowly lifted himself up. The pain in his knees didn’t let him get much further though as he was now falling back onto his butt. He scrunched his nose, overly annoyed that so much of his body was screaming at him.
He brought his hand up to his face, starting to brush the snow off of his cheeks while also blinking it off of his eyelashes. Once the snow finally stopped obstructing his view, he saw that Minho was now running towards him with his hands out. Jisung swore all of his pain disappeared when he saw the other’s adorably worried face.
“Jisung!” Minho screamed out as he finally got close to him, “Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay?”
Jisung chuckled as Minho squatted down to be at his eye level, “I just fell, it doesn’t hurt too bad.”
Minho stared at him with wide, concerned eyes. Jisung could get lost in them for hours, they were so beautiful.
He gasped quietly when Minho suddenly brought a hand up to Jisung’s face. He was letting his fingers run up and down his bright pink cheeks. At this point, Jisung didn’t have to worry about the chill in the air anymore with how heated he felt.
Minho’s hand wasn’t even warm to the touch. It was rather cold, but he didn’t mind. He would gladly embrace any of Minho’s touches.
He then leaned into the hand that was cradling his cheek. He looked into the other’s eyes, wondering if Minho would ever know how infatuated he was. Minho’s fingers were as light as a feather as he traced the bits of snow still left on his face. He ignored how the frosty chill was biting at his cheeks, he never wanted this to end.
It was rare to feel Minho’s touch for this long. Every time it happened over the past few years Jisung drank it up. He loved every time Minho pulled him into a warm embrace, asked him to come over to cuddle, or, on the rarest occasion, would even softly pull Jisung’s lip between his thumb and index finger.
Sometimes he wondered if Minho also noticed how well their lips would fit together.
He shook his head, pulling himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t dwell on the past, he needed to take in the present the best he could. He knew that he wouldn’t have much of these moments left. Minho would soon be tired of being his friend and want to find someone better. Jisung knew he had to let all his feelings out before that day.
Confessing earlier had already made his heart feel a little less heavy, despite the fact Minho didn’t even hear it. Maybe if he just confessed everything would be easier for the two of them.
“Jisung,” Jisung looked up at Minho’s worried eyes, giving him his undivided attention. He couldn’t help but match Minho’s soft smile, “Can you get up?”
Jisung took a second to process that Minho was actually asking him a question. The hand still moving around his face was extremely distracted, but he forced a response out anyway, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a lot colder than before”
“Do you wanna go back to my house?” Minho tilted his head slightly while he held out his hand for Jisung to grasp. He hastily grabbed it and let himself be pulled up.
He patted the snow and ice off of his sweatpants before turning around to the direction of Minho’s home. “Are you okay with that? Sure you don’t want me to finally go back to my abandoned abode?”
Minho let out a small giggle, which Jisung immediately reveled in, “It’s fine, you know you’re allowed anytime. Plus, what kind of friend am I if I send you away while you’re shivering like a chihuahua?”
Jisung felt another string in his heart snap. How are we just friends when you say such things to me? How are we just friends when you hold me the way you do? How are we just friends when you always have that look in your eye?
Jisung swallowed thickly, not realizing Minho had already started walking back to the house. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to just act normal around him anymore. How can he when he goes from saying that Jisung makes his life brighter and then indirectly friendzoning the hell out of him?
He desperately tries to move his feet, but he feels practically immobile. It’s as if he’s lost all control over everything. His hands just resting at his side, his feet planted in the snow, and the lump in his throat already becoming much more pressing.
He couldn’t even tell if his breath was slowing down or speeding up. If it was speeding up, it was doing the exact opposite of everything around him. Even the snow felt like it was falling with much less enthusiasm.
Minho turned around, just to see Jisung in the exact same spot he left him. Jisung knew he had such a blank expression, he hoped he wasn’t making Minho worried but he couldn’t afford to do anything else with his visage.
He had to let his head fall, staring at the ground, when Minho started saying his name. “Jisung, do you need help walking?”
He tried to respond, but his throat was rendered useless. It was too focused on keeping back pained sobs. He instead gave Minho a simple shrug, praying he would accept that as a response.
Jisung could tell from the sound of the snow that Minho was now walking towards him. He really wished he would stay away right now. If he came any closer, Jisung genuinely might break.
Unfortunately, Minho was now tangling their arms together. “Come on, lean on me all you need.”
Jisung felt his lip start to quiver. He genuinely couldn’t handle being so close to Minho. Even then, he wanted to be closer. He wanted to press flush against his body, resting their foreheads together.
He finally decided to make eye contact with Minho, which he immediately regretted. He had that look in his eye again. The look that made Jisung’s feelings so difficult. That look is the exact one that gave him hope. Hope for a future with him.
Jisung gnawed on his lip and tore his gaze away from the other. He didn’t know what to think anymore. That’s why he couldn’t help but just stand and watch as small droplets fell onto the snow beneath him.
He was honestly shocked when he realized he was the one crying. It felt silly. Crying over not being able to be with his best friend. He couldn’t believe himself.
Jisung let out a few sniffles and quickly rubbed his eyes on the sleeve of his sweater. He whimpered ever so softly when Minho moved both of his hands to Jisung’s shoulders. Minho had such a pained look on his face, Jisung didn’t want to see it anymore.
He tried to turn away, but suddenly one of his hands was on his cheek, keeping him facing the other. His voice sounded so small and careful when he finally spoke, “Jisung, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Minho didn’t accept it when Jisung tried to wave him off, “Please tell me. Please let me help you.”
The soft words only made Jisung break into harsher sobs. He was getting annoyed at himself, but it felt impossible to respond.
Thankfully, Minho’s face finally relaxed, “Let’s just get you inside, okay? We’re almost to my driveway.”
Jisung looked up at him through his damp eyelashes gratefully. Minho gave him a painfully sweet smile, grabbing his hand this time. He tried to resist the urge to cry harder after feeling their fingers interlock, but he was only so strong.
Minho seemed to stiffen slightly when the tears came faster, but his grip on Jisung’s hand only tightened. Jisung finally managed to calm down his broken breathing, squeezing the other’s hand harshly.
They finally made it to Minho’s doorstep, which was still shimmering bright because of the snow. At this point, the snow from the roof was falling onto the porch too. Jisung was surprised that there was still so much snow. He expected it to have calmed down a little bit by now.
Jisung had to hold back more sobs and whimpers when Minho slowly retracted his hand from Jisung’s. It took him a second to realize it was just so he could properly open the door.
In just a few moments Minho’s hand was already out, offering to be held again. Jisung looked at it, frowning intensely. He considered not even taking it, his heart couldn’t hurt more than it already did.
He immediately regretted his hesitation when Minho spoke up with a pained tone, “Please, take my hand.”
Jisung’s heart wrenched as he slotted his fingers perfectly with Minho’s again. Did Minho also want to hold his hand? There was no way it made Minho’s heart race just as much as it made Jisung.
He silently let Minho drag him into the house, stomping the snow off his shoes just as Minho had done. He carefully slid his scarf off, trying to ignore the slight dribbles of snot that painted the front.
Once he was left in his sweatpants and Minho’s sweater, he was being dragged around again. This time Minho practically threw him on the couch.
“Stay there. I’ll get some stuff to warm you up.”
Jisung shuddered at his harsh tone, and partially because he was reminded of how cold he was. He watched as the other left the living room, presumably to get something from his bedroom.
It wasn’t long before he was coming back with a blanket in hand. It wasn’t just any blanket either. It was Minho’s blanket. Jisung happily accepted it and immediately curled up into it. It was strong with Minho’s smell, which Jisung reveled in.
He tried to ignore his sore eyes as he watched Minho leave the couch once again, going towards the kitchen.
Minho must’ve noticed all the staring he was doing since he was suddenly telling Jisung all of his plans, “I’m gonna make us some hot chocolate and then throw on a movie. Does that sound good to you?”
Jisung immediately pushed away the thought at the back of his mind telling him he shouldn’t agree to watch a movie and rapidly nodded, causing a smile to tug at Minho’s lips. He knew it would be a bad decision, but he couldn’t handle saying no to Minho. He also couldn’t pass up another opportunity to cuddle up and be as close as possible with him.
Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long for Minho to come back, setting mugs on the coffee table in front of them. He plopped down next to Jisung and grabbed at the blanket. Jisung untangled himself from it and allowed Minho to have a fair share.
Jisung gingerly scooted closer to Minho, trying his best to be nonchalant. Obviously, his attempt at subtly didn’t work and Minho noticed immediately. Minho snaked his arm around Jisung and forced him closer.
At this point the heat on his cheeks was painfully familiar when he hung out with Minho. Still, he shoved his face into the side of Minho’s chest in an attempt to conceal it. He didn’t even notice when a random movie started playing in the background.
Suddenly, Minho’s hand was on his chin, carefully pulling his face up. “So do you want to talk about it yet?”
Jisung glanced around the room, chewing on his lip. He was seriously considering letting it spill, but he felt like it just wasn’t the right time yet. “I don’t know. It’s kind of complicated.”
Minho was then tilting his head slightly at him, “What do you mean by that?”
“It’s just,” Jisung sighed, trying to stop more tears from coming, “It’s just a lot. I don’t know how to tell you all of it.”
He started squirming when Minho’s hand was running through his hair. “You know, I’ll listen to you for however long you need me to.”
Jisung nodded, fiddling with his fingers, “Can I ask you a question?”
Minho smiled hopefully, “Of course. You can ask anything.”
He sighed, not entirely sure what to ask, he just said what came to his mind first, “Will you stay with me forever? Like, even as we grow older?”
Jisung internally panicked when Minho brought his hand down to his face once again and was gingerly caressing it. “Ah, Jisung, of course I will. We’ll be together forever, whether you like it or not.”
“Together…” Jisung mumbled wistfully. Why’d he have to say it like they were dating? It was only confusing Jisung more.
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“No, not at all. It’s just…”
He made eye contact with Minho again only to see the older practically begging him to continue after he had trailed off. He sighed, giving in to his feelings, “It’s not… the way I want.”
Minho’s face contorted into complete perplexity, “You’re being confusing, Jisung.”
“I know.”
“Then please explain it.”
Jisung felt bad saying something as vague as that, but he couldn’t help it. He really didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s never going to be the way I want.”
Minho was now looking at him like he was a mad man, “What’s ‘never going to be the way you want?’”
Jisung exhaled. He had to do it, there was no backing out now. “Us.”
“What? What does that mean?” Minho asked while he stumbled over his words multiple times.
“Us. You and me. This relationship,” Jisung said this time while staring the other dead in the eye.
He watched as Minho’s shoulders fell, and his hand finally retracted from his face. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he forced some kind of words out, “How? I mean, what are you wanting then?”
Jisung groaned softly, he knew he was being confusing, but he didn’t want to have to just say it straight, “You. I want you. Minho, I love you.”
Minho’s face fell and his eyes immediately widened. Jisung hated how he couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. He desperately wanted to know, but Minho wasn’t showing any readable emotions, so he simply just stared back at him.
They stayed like that for who knows how long. Staring into each other’s eyes, Jisung’s filled with longing. He swore he could see a few sparks of fear in the other, making his heart crack each time.
“Jisung… I can’t.”
He swore his heart burst at that exact moment. Everything was crashing down on him. Every emotion he had felt up to this moment. All the yearning, all the secretive admiration. It was washing over him. But there was so much pain he felt along with it.
“What do you mean you can’t?” He choked out, tears threatening his eyes again.
Minho’s pupils were shaking at this point, his hands were balled into fists on his lap. He seemed to also struggle keeping his voice steady as he spoke, “I can’t be loved. You can’t love me. Please.”
Jisung felt his anger starting to bubble up. Minho was begging him to forget about all his feelings just like that. His feelings really meant nothing to him.
Jisung then shot up from the couch, “I can’t love you? Then why do you do everything that makes me love you?”
Minho jumped slightly, not expecting the other to start raising his voice, “What are you talking about?”
His jaw clenched, hands trembling at his sides, “What am I talking about?! You can't tell me you don't know what you're doing. All the touches? All the soft words? There's no way you don't know.”
Next thing he knew Minho was standing face to face with him, raising his voice just like Jisung, “So what if I'm doing it on purpose? You've never shown your love for me. Sometimes I barely even feel like you care.”
Jisung's face fell, “You're the one who told me not to. You're the one who told me it was scary. I felt like you were scared of me.”
Minho turned away, his bottom lip now stuck between his teeth, “It is scary. But I can't stop. I can't stop thinking about you like that.”
He swore his heart skipped a beat suddenly. He honestly didn't know what to respond either, so he did what he had been wanting to do for years now.
His hand latched onto the back of Minho's neck, smashing their lips together. It was harsh at first, but slowly, Minho melted into Jisung. Their mouths found the perfect rhythm.
Jisung was right all along, their mouths were made for each other. It felt so surreal to finally have his lips on Minho, but he drank up every second of the feeling.
After a few seconds, Minho pulled away, eyes suddenly going wide. His lips were already turning a darker shade of pink. Jisung also happened to notice just how bright his ears were becoming too.
“Was that scary?” Jisung asked breathlessly.
Minho looked down before letting his hands wrap around Jisung's waist. “Kind of, but it felt good.”
Jisung smiled, putting his hands on Minho's cheeks, “Love is scary, trust me I know. But we're here for each other. We'll go through it together.”
“Together we go,” Minho reiterated wistfully, “Of course, I should've realized that.”
He let out a small chuckle then rested his forehead against the other's, “I love you, Minho.”
Minho looked him in the eyes. Jisung swore he would never get over the shimmer in his eyes. Minho sighed, “You know, I love you too, Jisung.”
Jisung suddenly wrapped his hands around Minho, forcing him into a large embrace. He stuffed his face into the other's shoulder, finally letting all his tears fall fully.
He knew he was soaking Minho's shirt, but he couldn't keep it in anymore. He was inexplicably happy, that confession meant the world to him.
Minho's hands were then running up and down Jisung's back murmuring little things about just how much he loves him. Jisung grabbed onto him tighter, never wanting this to end.
“Thank you, Minho,” Jisung sobbed out finally.
Minho let out a soft confused noise, urging Jisung on.
Jisung sighed, “Thank you for letting me love you.”