Chapter Text
Lucy Gray Baird is sixteen and she thinks she's in love.
As long as she can remember she's had a crush on Billy Taupe. With his handsome face, easy smile, tan skin, soft wavey hair and warm brown eyes.
They grew up together along with Barb Azure, Tam Amber and Clark Carmine thick as theives. Maude Ivory would come later, the baby of the family. Billy would share food at the lunch table with her and trade notes in class. It's only natural when puberty hits the covey finds them in a dark closet sharing their first kiss... atleast Billy said it was his first.
Their first year together was filled with music, singing, laughter, and sweet innocent kisses. Lucy Gray, like many young girls with their first boyfriend, thought they were soul mates destined to be together forever.
After all Billy and her were cut from the same cloth. Their grandfathers were best friends who formed a band called the covey, got married and build families who also joined the group. Passing on their love for music and traveling to their offspring. Keeping the band together through good times and bad times. Through life and death.
School never came easy for the covey. And especially Lucy Gray. Her mind wasn't academically inclined, she rather daydream, or practice music and preform than study. Even when she tried her thoughts would naturally drift to music notes and unwritten lyrics. Lucy Gray lacked motivation to keep trying, only excelling in music class.
Besides their hippie lifestyle, traveling from venue to venue, city to city, state to state, meant her new school would either be ahead or behind her old school. Never letting Lucy Gray get a firm grasp on her studies and failing as a result. Her, Billy and the rest of the covey quit as soon as they were legally able to focus on their music full time.
Lucy Gray thought no school would mean more alone time with her boyfriend but it was the opposite. When they had school he'd walk her to classes and hold her hand. Now without a routine in place Billy Taupe is all over the place. Missing half their practices, a few of their performances and he stays out all night with strange men she's never meant but who look like trouble.
I'm losing him, Lucy Gray thinks dreadfully. As the psuedo leader of the group she can't help but to blame herself, the covey has never lost a member before.
She's too inexperienced to know how to win his affection back yet she's smart enough to recognize the signs. His restlessness and boredom of her and the covey is palpable. But beyond the guilt and the helplessness Lucy Gray feels embarrassed. A part of her job is to charm the audience which includes men but now the band will know she can't even hold her own man's interest. And if she can't hold her boyfriend's attention and keep the covey together maybe she isn't fit to be their front man.
Lucy Gray pleads with Billy Taupe to talk to her but he only shouts back at her defensive and belligerent like she's never seen. "I'm eighteen! I want to experience life!" Has he always been this discontent?
You mean other women, Lucy Gray laments helplessly but holds herself back. Maybe she's just jealous and paranoid. Most teenagers want to party, drink, and socialize with friends outside of their family. She's afraid of pushing him any farther away by arguing so she says in a quiet voice to do what he has to do but come back home to her and the rest of the covey.
Maybe she was too pushy. Maybe she made too much of a fuss when he'd miss practice. Maybe Lucy Gray inadvertently scared him when she'd talk about them being together forever. Her pa had been 25 when he'd got married with more time to sow his oats than Billy who was only a teenager.
Or maybe she was too immature for Billy Taupe who was a little older than her. Her love of childish things like colors and sweets doesn't help. But really what's so wrong with loving candy and rainbows? Her father bought her mother a rainbow dress which her mother often wore on stage. He never belittled her interest like Billy Taupe did her.
Besides the covey loved bright and loud stage attire as much as her. Billy on stage stood out like a sore thumb with his gray plain clothes among the colorful covey.
Winter was quickly approaching, no more weddings, festivals, concerts and parties until spring. So Lucy Gray looked for other work. She saw job listing for a piano teacher and applied for Billy. The covey and her were working at a convenience store the same time Billy gave music lessons to the mayor's daughter.
After the holidays Lucy Gray began to feel an itch. Like her feet were on fire, like she had to move or the fire would consume her. Her father and grandfather all had the same itch, the itch to explore, to travel.
They'd been in Kentucky so long Lucy Gray felt like the ground was liable to grow roots over her shoes. Like she'll be stuck here forever if she doesn't get away quick enough like the mountains may close over on her.
They need to go west, to the land of dreamers and artist like them. The winter winds blow west, California is beckoning them to her. To the place where everyday was sunny and warm. They could preform all year round, outdoor weddings and sweet sixteens in winter, miraculous.
It's been too long, since her father and mother were alive, chasing her along the shore. Maybe if Lucy Gray went back she'd feel as happy as carefree as she had then. It's wishful thinking she knows but can't help it. She is a dreamer after all. Can't help but to think if she got Billy Taupe far enough from Kentucky and his new friends, from all their troubles he'd love her like he used to. She closes her eyes and pictures them swimming in the ocean, walking along the shore, stuck like glue once again.
Looking back, Lucy Gray can't believe how much of a fool she'd been. But it's not like Billy Taupe doesn't lead her on, some nights being so gentle and loving it's hard to accept the same man the next morning was ignoring her text and calls.
Betrayal was a foreign concept to Lucy Gray. Her father never so much as looked another woman. Lucy Gray would trust the covey with her life. Even with all the red flags and signs she still trusted Billy Taupe right until she read the messages on his phone.
Lucy Gray falls to the floor, gripping her knees, her tears hitting the floorboards. It's like the place where she'd been standing on, firm and solid, is now cracking and crumbling under her.
Everything she thought she knew was wrong. Lucy Gray thought she was in a committed relationship with her soul mate. That was wrong. She thought she knew Billy Taupe, that was wrong.
Who were you? Lucy Gray asks sobbing. Because I thought I knew you Billy Taupe, but I never knew you. So all the things we did together, something else was happening. You were someone else.
So who am I? Because I thought I knew you, and I didn't know you so actually I'm a gullible fool. A naive stupid girl who doesn't understand anything about humans including herself and the man she thought she loved.
Lucy Gray wipes her tears away, trying to steady her breathing, looking around at the walls the trailer they share, even it is foreign to her now. It's not a home anymore, just a place she resides in with a stranger. A manipulative stranger who conned her their whole relationship. Smug and arrogant in the bar having fun with Mayfair and his new friends while Lucy Gray dumbly waited for him here.
Lucy Gray knows Billy thinks she turned the covey against him. But truly she doesn't want their pity. Doesn't want to turn brother against brother. The only thing she was guilty of is telling them what happened while Billy ignored, lied and deflected their questions.
By the time the weekend is over they've already left. Their instruments taking up the most room in the van Lucy Gray found on Facebook marketplace. Her only stipulation for the covey is having them promise they will not to tell Billy where they are headed. His persistent attempts at winning her back even though she made it clear numerous times they were done. Along with Mayfair's hatred of Lucy Gray insistently posting ugly lies about her on social media are starting to frighten her.
They take turns driving along the seemingly endless desolate highways of middle America. Lucy Gray is so disoriented from the long drive, insomnia and the breakup her dreams bleed into reality.
She dreams up a boy nothing like Billy Taupe in appearence or character. A boy who would burn the world for her. When Lucy Gray has caffeine to compensate for her sleeplessness and is capable of rationale thought, she reasons that the dream boy is nothing. A fictional person her mind conjured up to cope through the pain of Billy Taupe's betrayal. But as a romantic she can't help but look forward to her reoccurring dreams. Even though the details of what they did were quickly forgotten when she awakens, even his face, yet the feelings from the dream remained with her though the rest of the day. Leaving Lucy Gray walking on air the rest of the day, radiating happiness, for no discernable reason. The covey look at her strangely, wasn't she just heartbroken, and it certainly isnt a 20 hour drive causing her glee. But she doesn't tell them about the dreams, for once wanting to keep something away from them, and private.
It's dusk they are somewhere in the desert of Nevada and Lucy Gray swears she could see the foggy vision of the boy on the side of the highway. His face a shadow but blonde hair peaking out from the fog. She almost crashes turning her head around, nearly running off the road. Desperately wanting a glimpse of him but only managing to swerve off the road which awakens and frightens the covey. Lucy Gray laughs it off by saying needs coffee, thankful there's only a few hours left of the drive, any longer she'd certainly go crazy. No need to keep dreaming when she's going to the place where dreams come true.
Lucy Gray is eighteen when she realizes she was never in love with Billy Taupe. A crush. Puppy love. That's all she had felt for Billy Taupe. She knows the difference now has the bona fide thing.
Lucy Gray kept busy in California; writing, preforming, everything but dating. For two years she constructed high and wide barriers around her heart she thought impenetrable. But those walls weren't bricks but hay, all it took was one wolf to come and blow away all her defenses.
They'd been slowly but surely building a tiny fan base in California. Their social social media following is small but loyal and vocal enough to get them noticed by one of the mangers of the Bayside festival. Their biggest show and pay day yet.
It's the first time the covey hasn't had back to back shows, plus money to spare. They spend it vacationing. Like the high school seniors they never were on spring break. Clark Clemmine drives and Lucy Gray has her bare feet out the window, appreciating the blue sea on her left side and the cliffs on her right. Lucy Gray can't remember the last time she was so content. Maybe when she was a child curled up in bed between her parents; warm, safe and loved.
The festival was a nice change from small and seedy bars. The air fresh and full of excitement. But Lucy Gray had no time to take it all in lugging her guitar, that felt like a ton of bricks, through the crowd of people up to stage. She was already late and the sweat dripping into her eyes and the weight of her guitar made it hard to focus on her surroundings. She doesn't even see when someone bumps into her from her side.
Her feet fly out from under her and she lands with a hard thud on the muddy ground. Lucy Gray cries out not from pain but because her old guitar fell away from her and she doesn't know if it's broken or not, after she just spent the last half hour tuning it.
"I'm so sorry!" Lucy Gray forgets all her worries, even momentarily her name, when the most handsome boy she's ever seen has his arm out stretched to her to help her up. A true gentleman, she thinks, Lucy Gray hasn't even spoke two words to him yet and already she inspired to write a song. The same way the beauty of a sunset or the beach will have her grabbing for her notepad.
Lucy Gray ever the preformer straightens her hair, wipes dirt for her dress and takes his hand. "Thanks handsome." Gracing him
with her best show face.
He smiles back and an odd feeling of déjà vu washes over her, like she seen him before, but that's impossible, right? She would've remembered that face. And then it hits her, the boy in her dreams years ago. Did Lucy Gray conjure him into being?
"Don't thank me, your guitar, it's my fault." Lucy Gray rips her eyes away from him. Guilty that a handsome face could make her forget her most prized possession. She holds in tears as she sees it dirty and broken laying in the mud.
The teenager apologizes profusely Lucy Gray numbly nods along not hearing the words only thinking of how will the show go on now? This is the first time they've played without a guitar. "I'll replace it -, I wish I knew your name."
"Lucy Gray Baird." The agitation she feels disappears at his earnest expression. She doesn't expect much but they exchange numbers.
Her first mistake was underestimating Coriolanus. The following day he texts her and they meet up by a food trucks where he hands her a beautiful guitar.
Lucy Gray strums it, already perfectly tuned and ask how he got her such a wonderful instrument in such little time.
Snow lands on top, he replies simply, like that explains everything. Like the world is his for taking. Like it should bend itself to his will. Lucy Gray smiles accommodatingly because while she barely knows him she wants Coriolanus to have all of his heart's desires. This angelic boy deserves the world at his feet.
Her world evolves from the covey to Coriolanus. He consumes her thoughts, her music, her whole world. She doesn't miss preformances but she's only truly present when Coriolanus is in the audience. If he's not she's distracted checking the door the whole time. Lucy Gray seems to have the same affect on his world. The typically diligent student spends all of his time with her.
Lucy Gray floats next to him in the ocean, phones forgotten in the sand each with several missed calls and unread messages. Beads of saltwater glisten on her skin and her long dark hair occasionally brushes his skin tickeling him. School was the last thing on his mind. He admits when she teases him.
Lucy Gray feels guilty for a second but forgets at the sight of his brilliant white smile, hair shining like gold in the California sun and blue eyes sparkling as much as the Alantic sea.
"Tell me you love me." Lucy Gray lays on her back, her beach towel underneath her. Coriolanus is above her straddling her waist his arms caging her. Coriolanus hovers between demanding and begging for her love like a trapeze artist walking on a tightrope.
"I love you." She laughs, raising her body up to steal a kiss, but Coriolanus pushes her down.
"More." He demands, Lucy Gray isn't sure what he's going for, is this a game? But as always she wants to accommodate Coryo. Wants to make the sullen serious boy happy, the same way she enjoys changing the mood of a tough crowd with a joke or a witty remark. Getting a thrill from bending their mood to her will.
"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou."
"Still not enough." Coriolanus sighs proping himself up on his palms away from Lucy Gray scowling, brows furrowed. Like he doesn't know himself how much would be good enough for him. Like he knows he will never to be content. Fated to forever grasp for more and more, never satisfied.
"I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck." Lucy Gray jokes trying to lighten the mood back to being a carefree teenagers playing at the beach. She hugs his neck frowning at how unresponsive and stiff Coriolanus is in her arms.
In the blink of an eye he presses her back to the sand. "It's still not enough. I want to be your only. There can't be anyone before or after me." He growls. Lucy Gray felt a chill up her spine at the look in his eyes, more than desire, there was anger and resentment she can't understand. She belonged to him as much as a person could. Lucy Gray always reassured of her devotion and loyalty, telling she loved him and him only everyday. That they were written in the stars. There's no more of herself to give him. He has all of her. Lucy Gray can't change the past. And even if she could, she isn't sure she'd want to, finding out that Billy Taupe was a cheater made her stronger and wiser. Shaped her into the women she was now.
Lucy Gray underestimated him again. Coriolanus was no angel sent from above to protect her. He is the trouble behind the facade of innocent schoolboy with perfect grades. With time she realize he's most dangerous man she'd ever meet.
She breaks up with Coriolanus one misty night in April. It was an unusually cold day in California. One that makes her feel like she's back in Kentucky. She explains to him over a hot pot of tea that he's going to university on a full scholarship he can't throw away his solitary chance for her.
Holding back tears, because she has no right to cry when she is the one hurting him, Lucy Gray tells him what he already knows. That they are very different people, with very different lives and goals. Coriolanus hates his life and brims with drive to change it by becoming a success. Lucy Gray is content with her life happy and grateful with the money they earn. Enough to travel comfortably but not too much to hold them down.
Coriolanus is smart. Surely he can't argue with the simple facts she pointed out, facts that he's been willfully ignoring their whole relationship. But his silence is even scarier than his shouting. He's still, shoulders tense, jaw clenched, hands balled into white first at his side.
Lucy Gray saw her error, she shouldn't have rejected him. His pride is ruined, and that's all Coriolanus has. He would've broken up with her eventually and she should've waited. Why did she think it would hurt less if she were the one to rip the band aid off?
The door being slammed shut finally breaks the oppressive silence. Lucy Gray exhales feeling like a weight has been lifted, like she can breath again. But what is the point of living if it's a life without Coriolanus?
Huddling in bed she tries to reassure herself she did the right thing. How could she live the life she wanted, with Coryo always there? How can she bloom with him hovering over her like a dark cloud? And how could he rise above her all the way to the sun, with her grounding him down to earth?
Did she break him? Nonsense, her golden boy was strong and he'd make something of himself, especially now with her out of the picture no distractions. One day, he will thank her.
Lucy Gray wakes up the next morning and heads alone to the beach for the first time since she's meant Coryo, without him. She feels hollow, and breaths in the salty air, like that would somehow fill her up. She strips off her cover up down to her bikini and walks to the sea. Lucy Gray lays on her back weightless as she floats. Free as the seagulls flying above her. But is freedom worth more than love? Shouldn't love conquer all? But this is real life and it isn't a song.
Lucy Gray gives up on dating again. Instinctively she knows she'll never love like that again. And maybe it's for the better. Love has irrevocably changed her. In unexpected and unwanted ways. She can't remember faces and names like she used too. Everyone in the crowd, even regulars she used to be so good at remembering, blend into forgettable shadows. Sometimes she thinks she sees a Coriolanus in the back of the crowd but that's just wishful thinking.
But when she is twenty-one Lucy Gray meets a kind young man with brown curls and hazel eyes. Unlike before there is no spark, no romantic feelings with Sejanus Plinth. He is just a friendly regular customer, always the same order and leaves her a generous tip.
He isn't her type, but he grows on her and Lucy Gray begins to look forward to his arrival and misses his presence when he doesn't come to the coffee shop her and her band work at.
"Just one black coffee?" Lucy Gray asks as she rings up his order. "These scones are fresh, Barb Azure has finally perfected the recipe." They won't break your teeth anymore, Lucy Gray can't resist sweet things, the day has barely started and she's already snuck and ate two.
"No thank you." Sejanus refuses as politely as possible. "My ma makes the best desserts, I already get too much sugar, that's why I always drink black coffee."
"I love sweet things. I'd love to try your momma's." She says pleasantly in her southern drawl, she doesn't realize how flirtatious and suggesstive she sounds until she notices his blush. Lucy Gray wishes she could take it back not wanting him to her the wrong idea.
The covey teases her as soon as he leaves about her celibate status and about the Sejanus' obvious crush on her. She tries to deny it blushing.
"A 20 dollar tip for a 5 dollar coffee?" Barb Azure tickles her side laughing, "Oh Lucy Gray, he's got it bad for you, heartbreaker." She winces recalling the anguish on Coriolanus' face as she broke up with him. Not that the covey knew any of that, before Coriolanus she felt like she could tell her family everything, but Coryo was different.
Lucy Gray felt disconnected from the group since she knew every detail about private life and they knew everything about her's before. Including all the embarrassing details of Billy Taupe's cheating. But she rather cut her tongue out than have anyone know him as intimately as her.
The next day Sejanus walks in around noon carrying a large box of donuts handing them to her before shyly asking her out. Her family whistle before taking the box to the back room giving them privacy in the empty coffee shop.
Lucy Gray isn't sure why she says yes. The covey's insistence to give him a chance? That he is a nice guy and she deserves someone nice (for once.) Or his hopeful expression was too much for her to break? Maybe it's because his warm hazel eyes are so different from Coriolanus' icy blue and her acquiescense was only selfish way to distract her from thoughts of her ex that plague her mind.
Lucy Gray knows she made the right decision when she takes a bite of the soft, pillowly cream filled donut and finishes it in three swift bites.
Lucy Gray expected him to take her somewhere simple. A movie or some place inexpensive it is only a first date after all. They were testing the waters, seeing if this could work, expensive dates were reserved for committed and steady couples. Especially since most people their age are struggling to make ends meet.
Sejanus pulls up early, Lucy Gray still putting on her knitted sweater, in a corvette, cherry red. Knocking on her door wearing a suit and tie.
It's too late to change, he's standing outside her door waiting having already rung the doorbell. She chides the covey peaking out from under the blinds oohing and awing over his car. And greets him in her baggy jeans and converse sneakers. Sejanus still complements her opening the passenger door for her. He means to be gentlemanly and sauve but he comes off as awkward and obsequious.
Lucy Gray drops her purse on the floor and takes her seat, smiling accommodatingly as Sejanus jogs to his side swiftly and overeager like a puppy. He slides in the driver seat next to her, after he starts the car, Sejanus smiles shyly at her and she grins back. Like his efforts to impress her and appear gentlmanly are endearing not discomfitting. But she can't help but to think Coriolanus would look better behind the wheel. Sejanus fumbles around in his freshly ironed (Definitely his mother's efforts) expensive clothes and drives the corvette hesitantly like he is ashamed of his wealth. While Coriolanus would own it.
The date goes smoother than Lucy Gray expected. Sejanus pushes his chair out for her and complements her the whole time at dinner. Lucy Gray thinks he looks quite comely in the dimly lit restaurant under the candlelight's glow. Nothing like bad boy Billy Taupe who's swarthy attractiveness promised passionate late nights filled with music and dancing. Sejanus didn't possess movie star good looks like Coriolanus. But in his own special way.
After dinner they aren't ready for the night to end so they walk around the park located behind the restaurant hand in hand. Street lights and their phones being their only guide through the darkness. Lucy Gray nods along to his little stories not even minding holding his slightly clammy hand.
They share their first kiss under the moon light at the same park a week later after a few dates and many phone calls and just like that they are an item.
Unlike Billy and Coryo he is genuinely nice. Never changing once he has her. Sejanus doesn't match her as well as Billy had. Standing together they do not make sense the way her and him naturally had.
Getting to know eachother takes time while she always knew Billy like the back of her hand. They aren't from the same world as her and Billy. Sejanus can't keep a beat, he has no rhythm and dances clumsily compared to Billy who glided her effortlessly along the dance floor. Sejanus steps all over her feet everytime she tried to teach him how to dance. Even ma Plinth, as Lucy Gray comes to know his mother as, can't help him in that department. He has no favorite music genre, no favorite songs or bands. Sejanus has never even attended a concert before despite his abundance of money.
Sejanus doesn't make her heart feel like it might burst out of her chest when he's near. His touch doesn't electrify her like Coriolanus had. No one will write a an epic romance about her and Sejanus. But that's okay, love can come in many sizes, her pa used to say.
Lucy Gray listens patiently when Sejanus tells her about his day. Which teacher he hates and which class he likes. About his grades, about his best friend he thinks he's losing, about how much he loves his mother, and how he's afraid he's disappointing his self made father. And he listens to her sing, listens when she complains about customers and the managers.
Being with Sejanus is easy as breathing. He doesn't rush their relationship, never making her uncomfortable like Coriolanus and Billy had. Letting their relationship go at the pace she wants slow and steady. Unlike Coriolanus who threw himself into her and Billy who wanted everything from her while giving nothing in return.
But if Coriolanus is already hard enough to forget, his rapid rise to power makes him impossible to ignore. It's everywhere; the news, billboards, pop up ads on the internet displaying his handsome face and dazzeling smile. A born politician.
Coriolanus Snow's interviews read more like fawning praise then hard hitting journalism. The young senator charms them so easy. He sits through every interview with perfect posture; shoulders back and back straight. Dripping poise and grace, the refined air of aristocracy you simply have or do not.
It's like he should've been born a prince, like it was a grave injustice he even had to run for office. Like he shouldn't have the convince the general population who lacked his wit of his intelligence, of his divine right to rule.
Sejanus never asks about her past so she doesn't ask about his, though Lucy Gray guesses that she is his first. She tries to convince herself Sejanus is the right choice and moreover he is who she wants. That she doesn't long for blonde curls instead of brown between her fingers. That she doesn't long for a man with fire in his veins. But the gentle warmth of Sejanus.
Lucy Gray visits Sejanus' dorm room with a housewarming basket with the intention of adding a womanly touch. But his mother already had, a thick chenille gray throw draped across fluffy bedding, matching curtains, sweet smelling candles and desk displaying a picture of the two. She is sure the fresh vacuum lines are from ma Plinth too. Lucy Gray is both annoyed and envious at their close bond. Mama's boy, she thinks resentfully comparing his easy and spoiled life to Billy Taupe and Coriolanus for a moment who had no mother to rely on. But then guiltly buries down those rude thoughts. She's just jealous because she desperately misses her own mother, but it's not Sejanus' fault she's dead. It's wrong to take her misgivings out on him or compare him her exes.
Feeling out done she hesitates to hand him her basket that now feels cheap and ill thought out. It mismatches his mother's decor now but Sejanus smiles warmly, placing it on his bedding and thanks her by offering Lucy Gray a freshly baked oatmeal cookie. She opens her mouth but he snatches it back and continues to tease her for awhile laughing at eachother until he relents.
Lucy Gray chews absent mindly humming a song while she walks around his dorm room, Sejanus busy in the bathroom. When she sees a fallen picture frame she places it back up right on his nightstand. Involuntary took a step back her mouth gaped upon in shock. It's a picture of Sejanus and Coriolanus, arms draped eachother's shoulders and easy going smiles that speak of a close friendship.
Lucy coughs and sputters struggling to choke down the cookie. "Is this your friend you've been telling me about?"
"That's the golden boy. Do you know he's the youngest senator in California history?" Sejanus nods proudly looking down at their photo fondly.
Lucy Gray feels like she's a million miles away, remembering Coriolanus complaining to her about the annoying classmate who had the mistaken idea they were friends.
"Does he know about us?" Lucy Gray tries her best not to sound panicked. Coriolanus the schoolboy had been insanely jealous over Billy a boy he didn't know which happened before they meant. But Coriolanus the powerful politician... His best friend and her...
How could she get Sejanus the sweetest boy in the world caught up in this? Who will Coriolanus blame? Sejanus or her? She doesn't know which is worse. Lucy Gray tries to remember the breathing exercises her mother taught her years ago to improve her breath control for a tricky song.
Sejanus answers her no not yet he wanted everyone to meet his amazing girlfriend in person. She suddenly has to leave, she tells Sejanus, freezes and stumbles out the door when he tries to kiss her.
Lucy Gray heads back east. Not bothering to put in her two week notice at work. Shamefully she ghosts Sejanus and changes her number. Feeling immensely guilty but knowing it's for the best.
California has a way of making you forget how harsh winter is. But the covey gets a stiff reminder at the first gust of January wind that travels under their thin, hippy western clothes into their bones.
Lucy Gray breathes in the cold east coast air watching her breath turn to smoke than fade away. Strangely she doesn't mind the cold. Nature should humble people, even scare people. California is for dreamers, but one can't dream forever.
But she doesn't miss her band's disdainful expression and wonders how much longer they will follow her whims. California had been good to them, they had no reason to leave, Lucy Gray can't even think of a convincing lie. Her feet itch was all she said and they trusted her just like when they left Kentucky. She squeezes Maude Ivory's small hand warming and reassuring the child the move was for the best. That she knows what she was doing. Maybe she can manage to convince herself.
Even with the bustle of the city she's reminded of Kentucky with it's gray winter sky. Lucy Gray sees an old man on the street corner playing the accordion, Billy Taupe's instrument, and puts change in his case even though they are on their last dollar. Money always came back to them especially when they act generously to fellow musicians.
Lucy Gray examines his old keyboard and thinks about Billy for the first time in years. Almost wishing they could go back to their simple teenage years. Hot summer nights around a campfire, Clark Carmine adding more in, as they roast marshmallows. Her's a golden brown his burnt black. She misses being the inexperienced teenage girl too naive to realize her boyfriend was a cheater. She's not even thirty and already she is weary of love.
Amazingly New York, treats them well. In some ways better than LA. They find good paying jobs quickly at an all night diner owned by an older man named Pluribus Bell who takes an instant liking to the covey. When he finds they are musicians their bond grows that much more. He tells them over freshly brewed coffee, a closed sign flickering in the window, that he used to be in a band but found that he was a better businessman than musician. His mind naturally more inclined to the former than the creative. It's like he's reliving his past through them and their music. But the covey has always been welcoming to new members and they do not mind coming to see him as a new father figure. But Lucy Gray is obviously his favorite.
Bell offers one of his apartments to them for free in lieu of paying them for their preformances at his other business a night club. Even his cat a fluffy white cat named Boa seems to be a fan, swaying along to their music and curling up in her lap after long nights. Lucy Gray acts like meeting their guardian angel Pluribus and his series of small miracles was a part of her plan all along, naturally falling into place. But the covey go along with it.
One day after closing down the diner and walking to the club Lucy Gray hears voices behind the restaurant which was normally deserted except for the dumpster and occasional smoker. Lucy Gray doesn't catch what was said but an angry and hostile tone of the men.
The world seems to tilt off kilter as she spots them Billy Taupe, Sejanus and Coriolanus. Pluribus Bell stands back watching the younger men closely, feet spread and hands balls into fist like he's ready for a fight to break out at any moment.
Lucy Gray's eyes naturally settle on the blonde then everything comes back into focus. Like her eyes didn't want to miss sight of him in person for first time in years. While the rest of her body quivers and shakes uncontrollably.
He is taller than she remembered, shoulders broader, blond curls shorn off for a neat, slicked back haircut. He looks different without the California sun beating down on him. Face masked in shadow, austere and hard in the New York winter. He's no longer the hungry boy in second hand clothes. Designer leather boots and golden watch glinting in the setting sun he exodes opulence. Although she knows Sejanus doesn't lack money he's bronze next to brilliant gold. Other men are there too and Mayfair, but Coriolanus stands out like a young god against mortals. Arms crossed expresssion full of scorn like he knows he's too good to be there.
Her memories and pictures are insufficient at capturing his beauty. She can hardly believe she let him go. Can hardly believe her nativity for thinking she could move on from the love of her life. Lucy Gray will always his girl.
Lucy Gray knees feel like they are going to buckle and her heart hammers against her chest. Her mind is spinning with questions and none of them good. But that doesn't matter now, the only thing that matters now is fleeing before anyone spots her.
A twig snaps under her foot and Coriolanus ears perk up. He never misses anything, does he. Lucy Gray catches his gaze settling on her dark and intense like a hunter spotting his prey.
For a moment which could have lasted seconds or an eternity, they simply stare at eachother, then Lucy Gray is off. Running down one of the million alleyways in New York never daring to look back.