Archive of Our Own

Week 1: Doomed from the Start

Hanbin doesn’t understand why he stops in the first place. 

He’ll reason it out to his brain, which is running mostly on americanos, doesn't have the availability to think properly. He had been up for most of the night working on a choreography he has to present in his hip-hop class in a week, and now it’s Tuesday – the worst day of the week, if you ask him – and he had to sit through the most draining lecture of all time and now all he wants to do is crawl into his bed and maybe cry and then collapse into a deep slumber for the next 12 hours.

But as he walks down the hall of the dingy lecture hall, his eye catches on a poster pinned to a corkboard, and he stops to look at it.

It’s horrifically made. The background is a hot pink, and the words on the paper are only a slightly darker shade, rendering the whole thing a terrible headache to try and read. The kaomojis littering the page are, for some unknown reason, the only thing in black. Hanbin squints to read the poster.

COME TO K-DRAMA CLUB

We have snacks ! ＼(≧▽≦)／

First meeting: this Friday (◕‿◕)

3 p.m.

Room 107

Hanbin wouldn’t say he likes k-dramas. He can’t even remember the last time he watched one, really. He has some faint recollection of a time when Matthew roped him into binging a show while they lazed on their couch. It ended with Matthew having tears streaming down his face, and then subsequently screaming at him when he noticed that Hanbin had been scrolling on his phone the whole time.

It’s not that Hanbin is some anti-romantic, anti-love freak. Quite the opposite, if he’s being honest. But he just doesn’t really care to tune into these shows, nor does he have the time.

But the terrible graphic design makes him curious. It’s like how people tell you not to look into the sun, but sometimes you can’t help but want to burn your retinas a bit. Human’s tendency to stare at car wrecks, and all that. Plus there’s free snacks. And he doesn’t leave his apartment much, having relegated himself to a strict schedule of home to class to dance to home and the cycle repeats.

His freshman year, he made it a point to try and attend one club meeting of every organization. At first he only did this because the number one advice for new students is to join clubs to meet people. Yeah right. He did it for a while until he realized that joining clubs he wasn’t interested in was a massive waste of time. 

For instance: fashion club. He thought it would be a fun and chill place to meet people who dress well. But when he showed up, there were a handful of sewing machines whirring away as people made their own shirts.

So he grabbed a piece of free pizza and ran.

It sort of became his thing after that.

Cookies, chips, candy, even full meals of fried chicken. Nothing was safe from him.

Eventually he ran out of clubs to steal from, and then the months and years passed by and at a certain age he had to stop infiltrating clubs just to take a snack and leave.

But something about this K-drama club poster has a magnetic pull. That horrific purple color, it’s beckoning him. He’ll go, if only to discover who made such a terrible creation. He’ll get his snack. He’ll leave.

It’s foolproof.

Hanbin’s last class on Friday wraps up at 2:30 p.m. Which gives him time to rethink this questionable choice to go to a club he has no interest in on the basis of pure curiosity. He doesn’t think he’s done anything this stupid since the beginning of the school year when Matthew invited him to a get together with some of his friends, where Hanbin drank way too much in order to cool his nerves in front of new people, and then did a ‘promiscuous dance to Girls’ Generation,’ according to Matthew. Apparently there were videos taken, though Hanbin hasn’t seen them. He doesn’t really want to see them, if they’re truly as bad as he’s imagining them to be. 

He swore off strawberry soju after that. Which feels like it should be an omen for what’s happening now. Stupid games, stupid prizes, what have you.

He considers just giving up and heading home as he leaves class, as he exits the building, as he sits on a bench outside in the cool spring air, as he watches the minutes on his phone slowly inch closer to 3 p.m. 

When it hits 2:55 he sighs, runs a hand through his hair, and stands up. A voice in his brain tells him there’s still time to change his mind, but he’s already come this far. 

He heads into the building where he first saw the poster, and slowly strolls through the halls until he reaches room 107. He peeks through the little window in the center of the door, where there’s someone with their back turned to him. He assumes it’s a boy based on the short blond hair and tall stature. Not exactly what Hanbin had imagined. He had fully thought that the club was going to be full of girls squealing about what actors they find hot. Which is fine with him, no shame there. But still: this development in the form of a boy wearing a pastel pink cardigan is not unwelcome.

He turns the handle and pushes the door open. He takes a step in, and pauses in confusion when he sees the room is completely devoid of people. He didn’t really take the time to survey the room through the window before he walked in, too stuck on the surprise of a boy being in here. 

Maybe he got the wrong room or the wrong time? The poster definitely said 3 p.m. in room 107. 

“Are you here for the K-drama club? Come in, come in!” The boy frantically waves at him and gestures for him to take a seat.

At least he’s in the right place? He’ll take small victories where he can find them.

Hanbin hesitantly walks toward a chair in the front row of the classroom, and pretends to ignore the wide-eyed, interested gaze following him. He sits down, straightens his posture, and pretends to be interested in the layout of the room in order to avoid eye contact. But when the coast seems clear he sneaks a few glances at the other boy.

Now, Hanbin has always had a weak spot for cute things. It’s how he ended up with two dogs back at his family home and a roommate named Matthew. And this boy seems like he would fit in that category. His hair is a sweet honey blond. It looks slightly fried, but Hanbin can ignore it. His eyes are accentuated with what Hanbin assumes is mascara and eyeliner and a bit of glitter. His lips are glossy and a nice shade of baby pink and are quite full and luscious and Hanbin actually doesn’t like where this train of thought might lead him so he would like to cut it out immediately.

But, wow, if this boy isn’t wearing the most horrific outfit Hanbin has ever seen. He has on a bright pink cardigan with clashing baby blue pants and is that…a stuffed animal hanging off his shoulder? Hanbin didn’t know that clothes like that existed. Maybe the boy sewed it on himself. He’s not sure if that idea makes him feel better or worse.

There’s also a fuzzy pink notebook in his hands. Hopefully that’s not what he takes his notes in. Maybe he just likes to carry a diary around.

The boy sets the notebook aside, clasps his hands in front of himself, and bounces on his heels. “What a lovely turnout we have!” he beams. Hanbin takes a look around at the empty room. “This club actually isn’t officially allowed by the university and they tore down all my posters. I’m glad someone saw one before they got thrown in the trash. My name’s Zhang Hao. Welcome to the first meeting of the K-drama club!” He claps wildly for himself. Hanbin hesitates, but joins in with some half-hearted ones. 

“Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.” He rocks back and forth on his feet. Hanbin stares at him, unsure if this is just some elaborate prank being pulled on him or not. Zhang Hao widens his eyes and nods at him pointedly.

“Um. Hi. I’m Sung Hanbin. I’m a dance major,” he states. When Zhang Hao continues to stare at him without saying anything he scratches an invincible itch on his arm in discomfort.

“Awesome!” Zhang Hao says after an uncomfortably long pause. “Is there anything else you’d like to share? Ah, here’s a good one! What’s your favorite show? Since this is a K-drama club after all.” He giggles to himself, covering his mouth with a hand in an attempt to cover the proud grin on his face.

Hanbin realizes he must really be an idiot for not considering the possibility that he would be asked a question pertaining to dramas in a club for dramas. In a normal situation he would probably be honest about his cluelessness, but this is definitely not a normal situation. Seriously, why did he have to be the only person to show up? Does Zhang Hao not have friends?

“It’s just so hard to pick, y’know.” He laughs nervously and waves a dismissive hand in the hair.

“Oh, totally!” Zhang Hao perks up again, clearly not picking up on the energy Hanbin is putting out. “Honestly, I don’t even have a favorite either. I like them all! We must be really similar then.”

Zhang Hao grabs his bag and sits in the chair next to Hanbin. It’s a little close for his comfort – their thighs press together as Zhang Hao digs through his backpack.

“Since I didn’t know if anyone was going to show up I didn’t have much planned,” he explains. “So let’s just watch shows for this week. And I almost forgot! Here’s your snack.” Zhang Hao pulls out something from the bottom of his bag and hands it to Hanbin. He takes it and looks at the wrapper. It’s a granola bar. The packaging is wrinkled like it’s been smushed in that backpack for a while. Hanbin tears open the wrapper and reaches in to grab the bar, but it crumbles in his hand like dust.

“Sorry, I didn’t have time to go out and buy more snacks. That was all I had at my apartment. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” Despite Zhang Hao’s words, his bottom lip juts out slightly like he actually does care if Hanbin eats it. He feels a bit bad, so he brings his hand up to his mouth and dumps the broken granola bar into his mouth. Zhang Hao beams at him.

He sticks a hand back in his backpack and pulls out a laptop decorated from top to bottom in various stickers. Some of them are shiny and glittery, most of them are pastel, and all of them are cute. Hanbin recognizes a few Sanrio characters dotting the back. When Hao opens up his laptop there are more lining the free space around his keyboard.

“Hm, what should we watch…” Zhang Hao ponders as he taps his fingers absentmindedly on the keys. Hanbin wonders if he should just tell him it doesn’t matter what he picks because it’s not like he would be paying attention anyways. He decides to spare Zhang Hao’s feelings for the second time in a span of merely a few minutes.

“Oh! I know.” Zhang Hao types furiously into the YouTube search bar and Hanbin wishes he was even half as excited as Zhang Hao looks to watch this. Which then causes him to spiral into feeling like a terrible person because he joined this club of his own volition and is now complaining about it in his head.

He zones out as the video starts playing. Zhang Hao forgot to make the video fullscreen, and Hanbin is extremely nosy, so he looks through his suggested videos. 

glittery doll makeup tutorial

Red Pandas Play in the Snow

IVE Karaoke – You as a member

Semantic Error all kiss scenes

They all have a little red bar at the bottom, so Hanbin guesses Hao is into these types of videos. What an interesting person, truly. If nothing else, Hanbin is glad he got the opportunity to witness such a unique way of dressing, such an unabashed display of emotions. 

“Ah, how romantic, don’t you think?” Zhang Hao gushes, clutching his chest. Hanbin comes back to reality and sees that the video on screen is now black.

“Totally.”

“Should we watch more?” 

Hanbin thinks of the most polite way to say no while Zhang Hao checks his phone. 

“Ah, it’s only been fifteen minutes. Sorry, I didn’t know if anyone was going to show up so I didn’t plan anything. How long do clubs usually last?”

“Fifteen minutes is a good length of time,” Hanbin lies while nodding sincerely.

“Really? Ok. I’ll be sure to have more stuff prepared next week. You’ll come back, right?” Zhang Hao’s voice is half-threatening and half-desperate pleading. It dawns on Hanbin that if he doesn’t come back, Zhang Hao will have no one left in his club. It’s a heartbreaking picture in his head: Zhang Hao standing patiently at the front of the classroom as the minutes pass, waiting for someone who will never return. Like that story of the dog who waits for its dead owner at the subway station. Hanbin thinks he might cry.

“Of course,” he agrees. He doesn’t want to be the dead owner. He will come back for just one more week, both for Zhang Hao’s sake and so he doesn’t feel like the worst person on earth.

“Promise me.” Zhang Hao holds out a well-manicured pinky, shiny like it’s coated with nail polish. Hanbin stares at it for a moment, half struck by the shimmer, half regretting his life.

He reaches his hand out and interlocks his pinky with Zhang Hao’s. Zhang Hao smiles brightly, looking all too pleased with himself. The sight makes something funny happen in Hanbin’s belly. He’s surprised that no part of it is regret.

“Promise.” 

He smiles back.

Week 2: Very Odd Behavior

“I have an activity for us today!” Zhang Hao announces with a delighted grin.

Hanbin, true to his word and his pinky, has decided to return to the club today. Not without some heavy internal debate, though. After he went home and thought on the whole situation some more, he realized if he returns, he’ll likely be stuck in an endless loop until the semester is over.

This indecisiveness has nothing to do with Zhang Hao, of course, even if the other does seem to be a little…eccentric. Hanbin, against his will, found his mind occasionally drifting to the boy throughout the course of the past week. There’s just something about him that makes Hanbin curious.

There’s also the fact that Zhang Hao is, objectively, attractive. Hanbin has eyes. If joining a club just to ogle someone is wrong, he doesn’t want to be right. 

What he also has is a moral compass. Leaving Zhang Hao all by himself in this classroom makes the compass point towards ‘ You are the worst person on earth. ’ So he showed up.

“I thought it would be fun if we could act out a scene from a show,” Zhang Hao continues. “Here’s your script.”

Zhang Hao hands him a packet of paper. Hanbin takes it and stares at the first page. There’s lines and lines of dialogue, half of them highlighted in blue. His first thought is that he would like to take his moral compass and throw it against the ground and watch it shatter. His second thought is concern for how many trees were cut down for this activity.

Hanbin thumbs through the stack, and a faint fruity scent wafts up when the papers flip. He wants to hold them up to his nose to take an up-close sniff, just to check if he’s somehow hallucinating scents. He glances up at Zhang Hao, who is eyeing him over the top of his papers. Hanbin guesses he’ll just have to smell them in the privacy of his home like a creep.

“Alright, so,” Zhang Hao announces loudly like he needs to make sure Hanbin hears it. “I’ll play the girl in this scene since I know you’re a little hesitant about it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, seriously, it’s ok. I’ll play the girl.” Zhang Hao’s face is stern and determined, as if to ward off any debate. Like Hanbin was going to fight for it anyways.

Zhang Hao positions himself at the front of the room and points a finger at the floor in front of him. Hanbin gets up from his chair and stands where Zhang Hao is pointing. 

“Okay, and action!” Zhang Hao claps his hands together like a slate. 

Hanbin sighs, clears his throat, and reluctantly begins.

“ I don’t know how much longer I can control my feelings. ”

“Seriously,” Zhang Hao interrupts, his voice monotone and obviously displeased.

“What?”

“Can you at least try?”

“I am trying!” Hanbin whines. He’s not trying, actually, but he thinks he’s justified in his rebuttal anyway. Zhang Hao is far too demanding for someone who is making Hanbin profess his love for him. 

“No, you’re not!” Zhang Hao throws his arms down and stomps his foot. “Do it again. With emotion this time, please.”

Hanbin sighs in exasperation, then schools his expression. “I don’t know how much longer I can control my feelings. ” He glances up from his papers, where Zhang Hao is nodding at him in encouragement. “ My heart feels like it’s about to burst .”

“ You can tell me anything ,” Zhang Hao says, in a pathetically robotic voice.

“You’re making fun of me when you sound like that.”

“What do you mean?” Zhang Hao frowns. 

“Did you hear yourself?” Hanbin asks in astonishment. Zhang Hao seems to be a man of many delusions, if he doesn’t see any problem with the performance he just put on.

His frown deepens as he stares at Hanbin silently, thinking about something.

“I changed my mind. I don’t want to do this anymore. You hurt my feelings.” Zhang Hao hugs the papers to his chest and sulks over to a chair in the corner of the room. He sits down and pulls his knees up to his chest, rests his head on his knees, and turns away from Hanbin.

Hanbin watches him go in bewilderment. He didn’t say anything that mean, did he? He’s definitely not in the wrong here.

He’s not quite sure what to do now. He turns to the door and thinks about just walking out and going home, leaving Zhang Hao to pout in the corner. He turns back to Zhang Hao, who is still curled in on himself, and sighs. 

Hanbin is a good person. Hanbin is a kind person. He will go apologize and comfort Zhang Hao. For what? Not quite sure.

Regardless, he trudges over to where Zhang Hao is sitting and takes a spot next to him.

He tugs at the back of Zhang Hao’s sweater. Zhang Hao mutters something and shakes his body around in an attempt to dislodge Hanbin’s hand from where it’s clutching onto his clothes. There’s not enough force in the movement, so he just feebly wiggling around.

“Zhang Hao,” Hanbin draws out.

Zhang Hao turns his head towards his shoulder and peeks out from the corner of his eye.

“I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.”

Zhang Hao scoffs at him and faces away from him again. “Sure you are.” 

“Really, I am. Look, I’ll do whatever you want with no complaining, promise.”

He needs to start thinking through his words before he says them, he realizes as the sentence leaves his mouth. Promises so far haven’t been very good for him: a promise that he would go to the club and leave if he didn’t like it, a promise to Zhang Hao to return. He really should know better by now.

“Anything?”

Zhang Hao perks up and spins around, looking earnest and eager. His eyes are pleading for Hanbin to say yes. 

Is this becoming a weakness for Hanbin? Probably. He can dwell on that later.

“Anything,” Hanbin responds, and he truly, thoroughly means it.

Zhang Hao reaches forward and clutches Hanbin’s forearms with his hands. Something about it fills Hanbin with a bit of dread.

“Can you push me up against a wall?”

Well.

“I am absolutely not doing that.”

“Please,” Zhang Hao begs. He swings Hanbin’s arms around as he pouts at him. “I see it in shows all the time. I want to know what it feels like.” 

Whatever that means.

“If you don’t do it I’m going to cry. Do you want to make me cry? Because I will,” Zhang Hao says, lips pressed together and eyebrows furrowed in determination. Hanbin does not doubt him.

“Fine. Fine! Just once. And then will you go back to normal?”

“I’m completely normal.” Zhang Hao nods solemnly.

Hanbin can already feel the headache forming. He doesn't have the energy to fight anymore. 

“Right.”

“Okay, so, I’ll just stand here.” Zhang Hao gets up and takes it upon himself to lean against the wall. “And you come over and do the thing.” He gestures vaguely with his hand.

Hanbin follows after him, and takes a moment to turn around and collect himself before spinning back around to where Zhang Hao is trying to seem nonchalant and unbothered.

He marches forward into Zhang Hao’s space, watches as his eyes widen and his back hits the wall. Hanbin places his hand on either side of Zhang Hao’s head and tries his best to loom over him in a K-drama male lead way.

“Ah!” Zhang Hao covers his face with his hands and squeals into his palms. 

It’s strange; Hanbin thought they were the same height, yet he finds himself leering down at Zhang Hao. When he scans down Zhang Hao’s body he sees the other boy has bent his knees in order for Hanbin to tower over him.

“That was really good.”

“Have all your fantasies come true?”

Zhang Hao moves his hands and smiles coyly, a flush hanging on his cheeks. “Mm, not all of them.” He giggles and plays with a strand of hair near his forehead.

Hanbin won’t ask about that one. Next thing he knows, Zhang hHao could be asking him to kiss with tongue because he’s curious.

“Shoot, what time is it?” He pulls out his phone and frowns at the screen. “Ah, I should probably get going now.” 

He tucks his phone away in his pocket.

“Maybe we’ll try the script again next week?”

God, Hanbin hopes not.

“Yeah, sure, why not.”

Zhang Hao seems pleased. He grabs his bag with a skip in his step and waits for Hanbin to do the same. 

They walk out of the classroom together, stopping when they exit the main doors of the building.

“See you next week?” Zhang Hao says with a tilt to his head.

Surprisingly, Hanbin doesn’t even have to convince himself to respond this time.

“See you next week.”

Week 3: A Tug on the Heartstrings

Hanbin is surprised when he enters the club classroom and Zhang Hao is nowhere to be seen. Sure, he’s here a few minutes earlier than usual, but Zhang Hao is usually always prepared and ready to go.

He steps into the room and peers around for a sign of Zhang Hao’s presence – a bag, a coat, a stray stuffed animal that fell off his clothes, maybe. But there’s nothing. 

Perhaps Zhang Hao forgot about the club, or maybe even he realized that what they’re doing is weird.

It doesn’t really sound like him, though. If he can ask Hanbin to push him against the wall without any shame, there’s probably a very slim chance that he’s changed his mind.

So Hanbin parks his butt in his usual chair, pulls out his phone, and waits. 

Before long there’s a dull pounding of feet, and then the door is flinging open. Hanbin looks up from his phone to see Zhang Hao, heaving as he enters the classroom.

“Hanbin,” he starts, panting and out of breath. He blows out a big gust of air and bends over with his hands on his knees. “Give me a second.” 

Hanbin waits patiently as Zhang Hao takes steadying breaths, coughs dryly into his fist a few times, and then stands up, still looking a little unsteady.

“Sorry about that. I was so busy working on a project that I almost forgot about the club meeting today. Almost! I’m here now!” He holds his arms out to his side in a grand gesture.

“Well, the bad news is that I’m still not done with my project. So I’ve decided today’s club meeting will be held at a cafe so I can finish it. Let’s go!” He grabs Hanbin’s wrist before he can respond, and Hanbin is subsequently dragged out of the building

Zhang Hao drops his wrist when they get outside, but stays close to him, the fabric of their clothes brushing with each step. Zhang Hao is chattering away about this and that: an annoying person in one of his classes, a professor that he hates, a squirrel he saw on his way to class.

“I wonder if it’s that fat because it just got done hibernating. It’s still a bit chilly out. They should go back to sleep. I wish I could sleep for months when it gets too cold. How are you not freezing to death in this thin jacket?” He picks at the dark cotton of Hanbin’s sleeve. 

“It’s, like, 50 degrees out,” Hanbin rebuts.

Zhang Hao frowns at this, displeased. “There’s something wrong with you.”

Hanbin snorts. “I drive to class anyway,” he explains.

Then Zhang Hao is suddenly in front of him, holding onto his wrists. Hanbin skids to a stop before he bumps into him. 

“You have a car?”

Hanbin doesn’t respond at first, waiting for Zhang Hao to break into a fit of laughter and say he’s just joking. But his face is deathly serious, a frown pulling down the corners of his lips and a dark, unreadable expression in his eyes. 

This is odd. Does Zhang Hao hate cars for some reason? Is this how their weird sort-of-friendship ends?

“Yes?” he responds, his voice small and meek.

Zhang Hao’s frown morphs into a sly grin.

“Interesting.” He lets go of Hanbin’s wrist and falls back to his side, but now has a hand wrapped around his bicep. Hanbin isn’t sure if he realizes it’s there or not. He doesn’t say anything about it anyways.

“Let’s go into this one!” Zhang Hao tugs him towards a building using the grip on his arm. He continues to talk at him as they order – a milk tea and cake for him, an americano for Hanbin – and they find an empty table after their food and drinks are prepared. 

Hanbin pulls out one of the chairs for himself, but Zhang Hao says, “Ooh, what a gentleman!” and sits in it. So Hanbin takes the other seat.

Zhang Hao pulls his sticker-covered laptop out and immediately starts getting to work, taking occasional sips of his tea and bites of his cake without looking up. 

It’s a little strange to see him so serious and focused. Hanbin wasn’t sure it was entirely possible. 

Meanwhile, Hanbin timidly takes his own laptop out of his backpack. He actually doesn’t have anything to work on, but he’s not quite sure what to do otherwise, stare at Zhang Hao? He opens up a game of checkers to make it look like he’s working.

He’s on his 3rd game when Zhang Hao stretches his arms above his head with a small groan, and then closes his laptop.

“Even though we’re working on homework, this is still a club meeting, you know. I had stuff planned for today.” He twirls a short lock of hair around his finger.

“Ok, like what?” Hanbin offers.

Zhang Hao studies his face.

“Do you know…what a BL is?”

“Nope.”

“Well, it’s like a regular K-drama but…with two guys. Is that…ok with you?”

Hanbin shrugs. “I don’t see why not.”

Zhang Hao brightens. 

“Oh! Awesome! So, what would you do if…another guy asked you out?”

One of the more interesting ways to ask if he’s gay, Hanbin has to admit.

He shrugs. “I guess it depends what he looks like,” he offers.

“Interesting…” Zhang Hao pulls out that pink fuzzy notebook from the other week and scribbles something down. Hanbin tries to peek over the table at what he’s writing. He thinks he sees his name scribbled down, but then Zhang Hao slams the notebook shut. 

“Well, that was all I wanted to know.” He smiles.

“Do you not have anything else planned?”

“No, I did,” Zhang Hao supplies but doesn’t elaborate.

Hanbin guesses that’s a sign to leave it at that. The odds that Zhang Hao’s ‘activity’ was just Hanbin recreating another K-drama scene are definitely high. He’ll choose not to test them, on the off-chance that Zhang Hao decides this cafe is the perfect place to be pushed against another wall.

Zhang Hao picks up his fork and prods at the half-eaten cake in front of him. “Do you want a bite?”

“No, that’s okay.”

Zhang Hao frowns. “Is it because you’re worried I have germs?”

“No, I just–”

“Because I don’t. I’m perfectly healthy. No germs here.”

“That’s amazing. I’m just not really–”

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Zhang Hao starts pouting.

Hanbin feels like he just got slapped in the face.

“What? No! Of course I like you.”

“Then why won’t you eat the cake?” Zhang Hao whines.

This must be his lesson for the day: don’t argue with Zhang Hao. For one, he doesn’t seem to care how low he has to go to win an argument, if the threat of tears from last week was any indication. And two, Hanbin can’t seem to grow a spine and be firm with him. 

Plus, there’s a growing crowd of onlookers from nearby tables who are starting to side-eye them at Zhang Hao’s steadily rising voice. Hanbin’s afraid if this goes on any longer he’ll start screaming and they’ll be forced to leave. Which honestly doesn’t sound that bad, given the circumstances. He might not be able to show his face in this cafe ever again, though.

“I changed my mind. I’d love to eat the cake.”

“Yay! Open wide.” Zhang Hao reaches forward, fork in hand, and unceremoniously shoves a small slice of cake into Hanbin’s hesitantly opened mouth. “So good, right?”

“So good,” Hanbin mutters through a mouthful. 

Zhang Hao seems pleased. He cuts off a slice of cake for himself and pops it into his mouth, practically bouncing up and down in his seat. As he slides the fork out of his mouth, a streak of white is left on his bottom lip. Scenes flash in Hanbin’s mind like a movie: him leaning forward to wipe the frosting off, popping his thumb into his mouth, all while Zhang Hao watches him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. 

Maybe Zhang Hao’s K-drama obsessed influence has been stronger than he thought. He fights off the intrusive images by clicking random buttons on his keyboard and focusing his gaze on the screen.

“Hanbin, I don’t have anything on my face, do I?” 

Of course this would happen to him.

He has two options here. One: be the worst human on earth and pretend that there’s nothing on Zhang Hao’s face, letting him walk around and likely be humiliated. Or two: succumb and wipe the frosting off his lip. There’s always a chance that he’s overreacting and Zhang Hao will easily wipe it away himself, but something in Hanbin’s gut is telling him that nothing with Zhang Hao ever ends that easily.

Hanbin is not a mean person. Hanbin is a very kind person. 

“You have something right here.” He gestures towards his own bottom lip.

“Here?” Zhang Hao points at his chin.

“No, a little higher.”

Zhang Hao wipes his upper lip. “Did I get it?”

Jesus Christ. Is he being messed with? Surely this isn’t another ploy from Zhang Hao to get Hanbin to act out a scene with him, right?

“It’s on your bottom lip,” he urges.

Zhang Hao frowns. “Are you messing with me? This isn’t a very funny joke.”

Hanbin doesn’t think so either.

“No, I swear to god I– you know what, fine.” He reaches over and swipes the pad of his thumb over Zhang Hao’s plump bottom lip as fast as he can. 

“Oh.” Hao giggles. He tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. “Thanks.”

Hanbin wipes the frosting smudge onto his napkin. “Don’t mention it,” he mumbles.

“I need a break from working,” Zhang Hao complains. He puts an elbow on the table and rests his chin in the palm of his hand. Hanbin tries to ignore the weight of his gaze over the top of his laptop screen, but the way his dark eyes are settling on Hanbin’s face makes his heart thump uncomfortably faster.

“Hanbin, you said you’re a dancer, right?” he questions. 

Hanbin nods in return. 

“That’s so fun. I’ve always wanted to dance, but I don’t have time,” he pouts.

“You study music?” 

“I play the violin! And the piano sometimes. But my focus is the violin.”

When Zhang Hao said he was a music major back in their first week, Hanbin hadn’t paid it any mind. It’s hard to imagine the boy in front of him, bundled up in an oversized hoodie with a teddy bear on the front, playing such an expensive instrument.

“That’s– that’s really cool. I never would have guessed.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” Zhang Hao challenges, leaning towards Hanbin. 

Hanbin immediately wishes he could take the words back, because what it all boils down to is that he thinks Zhang Hao is too cute to take such a thing seriously.

“You just–you don’t look like someone who would play the violin,” he explains hastily.

“What do I look like then?” Zhang Hao lowers his head peer up at Hanbin through his lashes and bats them seductively. “Am I too pretty to play such a boring instrument?”

Hanbin’s face feels a few degrees hotter, and he’s sure his cheeks are tinged red. 

“I didn’t say it was boring,” he dismisses. 

Zhang Hao grins, clearly picking up on Hanbin’s deliberate avoidance of the second question.

“Hanbinie looks like someone who would dance, though,” he comments. 

Hanbin isn’t sure whether to be relieved that he didn’t bring up the whole pretty thing, or bewildered at what ‘being someone who looks like they would dance’ means. 

“Do you do hip-hop?” Zhang Hao continues

“Yeah, actually. All of the classes I teach are hip-hop based.”

“You teach?” Zhang Hao pauses to sweep his eyes over Hanbin’s upper body. “Maybe I need to find some free time so I can join a class.”

“Maybe you should. I’d love to have you there.”

The conversation feels a little too heated, a little too close to veering on the edge of flirtation. 

“But I might get jealous if you pay attention to other people. Do you have any private lessons?”

This is flirting, right? This has to be flirting. 

Zhang Hao’s lips have turned up into a coy smile. It’s a different look on him, considering Hanbin has only received his bashful grins so far. His head spins a bit as he blunders for a response.

“I don’t but, um, I could probably make an exception for you.”

Oh God. Now he’s flirting. It truly wasn’t even his intention – he was too dazed to think through his response. But it’s out now. And honestly, he doesn’t feel the need to take it back.

Zhang Hao’s smile lifts until his teeth show, and he laughs quietly into the back of his hand. 

“Ah, now I really need to open up my schedule. I’m pretty busy for the next few weeks.” He pouts.

Hanbin accepts the subject change with open arms. “But you still have time for the club?”

“Of course! I would never give up on the club.”

“I’m curious, why did you start it in the first place?”

Zhang Hao purses his lips. “Well, it’s a little embarrassing to admit. I only transferred here this year so it’s been a bit…lonely, I guess.” He shrugs dismissively and averts his eyes to stir his drink. Hanbin can see how the topic still weighs on him by his downcast expression. 

He feels even worse now about his initial plan to ditch. Never did he think he would be so grateful to be guilt tripped. 

“Your plan seemed to work, though,” he says. 

Zhang Hao looks up at him with curious eyes. 

“I’m here now.” He shrugs shyly.

Zhang Hao’s eyes crinkle as he grins. “Lucky me.”

Hanbin smiles back.

Week 4: A Shift in the Universe

It’s unexpected, to say the least, when Zhang Hao proposes what he does.

“So, since it’s just us two, I was wondering if maybe,” he pauses to fiddle with the buttons on his cardigan, “you wanted to come to my apartment? We can watch on my TV instead of my laptop.”

This seems to cross the line from ‘casual club meeting’ to ‘outside of school hangout.’ Their relationship appears to be heading into vaguely friend-shaped territory. He supposes after last week’s outing, it’s a bit of a given. Hanbin was pleasantly surprised by how much he enjoyed Zhang Hao’s company. Not that anything was wrong with him before, he could just be – well, intense might be the best way to put it. 

But last week, when it was just them talking without the pretense of the club, it was comfortable. Easy. There’s definitely more to Zhang Hao than meets the eye. Hanbin may have scratched the surface, but he wants to dig deeper.

So, he accepts.

Zhang Hao walks into his apartment first, holding the door for Hanbin on the way.

“Sorry, it’s a little messy. Taerae doesn’t like to clean.”

He kicks his shoes off and pads into the living room. Hanbin can hear him rustling around as he takes off his own shoes and sets them gently to the side. The wall of their small entryway is cluttered. There’s a pink key hook with a small box on the top. Hanbin tugs on it with his pointer finger and smiles when a little white cat pokes its head out.

He eyes the frames that hang above the little hook. There’s a photo of Zhang Hao with his arms wrapped around an older woman. Next to that is a photo of him next to a boy with brown hair with matching poses of one hand on their hip and one hand doing a peace sign. Hanbin notices that that brown-haired boy is in more of the pictures hanging on the wall. The roommate, maybe?

“You can use this blanket if you want. I just washed it,” Zhang Hao calls from the living room. Hanbin tears his eyes away from the eclectic wall and hurries to the living room. 

Zhang Hao is waiting for him and holding out a fuzzy white blanket. “It’s nice and clean, so you don’t have to worry about Taerae’s stench on it,” he snickers to himself. “Make yourself comfortable while I get things ready.”

Hanbin settles himself into one corner of the couch and watches as Hao scuttles around busily. He lights a candle sitting on a bookshelf next to the TV and flicks on a lamp on an end table. Then he heads into the kitchen.

 “Do you want anything to drink?” His voice echoes.

“Water is fine,” Hanbin calls back.

Zhang Hao totters into the room with a glass of water in each hand. He sets them on the coffee table and plops down on the other side of the couch.

“What do you feel like watching?” He asks as he picks up the remote from the cushion between them. Hanbin shrugs.

“I’m not picky.” 

As Zhang Hao turns on the TV and scrolls through shows Hanbin wraps the blanket around himself. It’s soft and warm and smells like lavender detergent. The scent mixes pleasantly with the vanilla candle Zhang Hao had lit a few minutes ago. The warmth of it all settles over Hanbin and his mind buzzes like static as he feels himself slowly sinking into the couch. 

“Ooh, there’s this BL I’ve been wanting to watch, do you mind if I put it on?” 

Hanbin makes a sound that he hopes is affirming as he closes his eyes. There’s the click of a few buttons, the sound of waves crashing, and faint music, and that’s all Hanbin remembers before he falls asleep.  

When he wakes up it’s to the swelling of music, and he attempts to blink the drowsiness from his eyes. Through the haze of sleepiness he sees credits rolling on a dark screen. The candle is still burning steadily to the right of the screen. Zhang Hao’s glass of water is half empty. He hears a faint sniffle and looks to his left. Zhang Hao wipes his cheek with the back of his hand. The sight shocks Hanbin awake and his heart lurches. He reaches out and tugs at the end of Zhang Hao’s sleeve.

“Zhang Hao,” he rasps out, his tongue dry from his nap. Zhang Hao turns and looks at him, and – oh. Hanbin’s stomach does a weird flip. He had never known crying could look so…angelic. Whenever Matthew cries at shows Hanbin laughs at him until he storms out of the room. But Zhang Hao looks oddly pretty like this, his eyes big and round, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes and on his lashes shiny from the light of the TV. Hanbin might be developing weird preferences. 

A lone tear trails down Zhang Hao’s cheek as he blinks. Before Hanbin’s sleep-addled brain can catch him his hand surges up to rest on the side of Zhang Hao’s face as his thumb sweeps the tear away. 

His hand lingers for a bit as he stares at Zhang Hao’s expression – wide-eyed, dazed, and confused.

“Ah.” Hanbin’s mind catches up with him. He pulls his arm back. “Sorry.” 

Zhang Hao sniffles a bit. “It’s okay. I didn’t know it was going to be sad, otherwise I wouldn’t have picked it.”

“Aw, it’s okay to be a crybaby, I understand.” Hanbin prods at the curve of Zhang Hao’s waist with his fingers. Zhang Hao squirms away from him and scoffs.

“I’m not a crybaby,” he protests. The jut of his lower lip and his tears beg to differ. Hanbin hums noncommittedly. He dips his hand lower and pinches Zhang Hao’s hip, who yelps and smacks his hand away. “Stop it. I’m seriously not a crybaby.” 

Hanbin smiles. “Whatever you say.” 

Zhang Hao crosses his arms and turns his head to avoid Hanbin.

“I don’t like you very much.” 

Hanbin covers his giggles with a hand. He leans in closer to Hao, bridging the gap of space between them.

“Zhang Hao,” he draws out with a pout. Zhang Hao stubbornly cranes his neck further away. “Zhang Hao. Zhang Hao. Hao-Hao.” He accentuates each name with a poke to Zhang Hao’s side. 

When he still refuses to turn around, Hanbin lightly grazes his fingers up to his ribs. He shudders and wriggles in his seat. Hanbin grins and digs his fingers in a little harder. Zhang Hao tries to move away but is blocked by the arm of the couch. He whirls around and grabs Hanbin’s wrist. His lips are pressed together and his brows are scrunched up. Hanbin guesses this is supposed to be his angry face, but he just looks like a petulant puppy.

“Can you knock it off?” He grimaces. The laughter bubbling up from Hanbin’s chest has him leaning in closer to put a hand on Zhang Hao’s thigh for support. “Nothing’s funny. I’m serious.” 

Hanbin cools himself down enough to look up at Zhang Hao’s annoyed face, and it’s starting to come to his attention that he can never take any of his expressions seriously, because Zhang Hao’s cheeks puff out on his face, and his glare is too soft with his big brown eyes, and a firm and solid cute is ringing through Hanbin’s head like the chime of a bell. And then something else comes to his attention: his hand is still wrapped up in Zhang Hao’s, and their faces are so close that the puff of air Zhang Hao pushes through his nose rustles Hanbin’s hair against his forehead. 

Zhang Hao seems to realize this soon after he does, because his grumpy expression slowly drops until he’s staring at Hanbin with a look that he can’t place – worry, fear, anticipation?

Hanbin’s eyes flit unwillingly to his lips that are now parted. 

Something inside of him tells him to lean in, to bridge the gap between them. He inches forward, but Zhang Hao drops his hand and pulls back.

“Ah,” he says. “Sorry.” He sticks his hands between his thighs like he can’t trust himself to have them free. 

Hanbin clears his throat. “You’re good.” 

Hanbin backs away into his own corner of the couch. He swallows heavily and is reminded of the dryness lining the inside of his mouth. He picks up his glass of water and downs it all in one go. When he sets it back down on the coffee table a little too hard, the glass clinks loudly against the varnished wood. 

“I, uh, I should probably go. It’s getting a bit late.”

“Oh. Sure. Let me walk you out.” 

Zhang Hao pushes himself off the couch, so Hanbin follows. They walk silently to the front door together. Zhang Hao leans against a wall and watches Hanbin as he fumbles to put his sneakers on. He’s a little shaky from their earlier proximity, and from Zhang Hao’s heavy gaze on him. His hands and legs shake as he slips his socked foot into his shoe. 

He gives Zhang Hao a quick look, but his face is indiscernible. Hanbin can’t tell what he’s thinking. 

“I guess I’ll see you later then?” he asks, a little too unsure.

Zhang Hao nods. Hanbin puts a hand on the handle, ready to leave, when Zhang Hao speaks up.

“Um, can I have your number?”

Hanbin cranes his head over his shoulder.

“Huh?”

“Your phone number. Can I have it? It might be easier to arrange meetings through text. It’s only us two, anyways.” Zhang Hao picks at a loose thread on his sleeve.

“Oh. Yeah, sounds good to me.”

Zhang Hao pulls his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it, and gives it to him. Hanbin’s fingers tremble a bit as he types his number in before giving it back to him.

“Thanks,” Zhang Hao says simply.

“Well, I’ll get going now,” Hanbin chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Text me the details for next week?” 

“Of course. See you.”

Hanbin opens the door and steps outside. He looks back at Zhang Hao, who is giving him a small wave goodbye. Hanbin musters up a smile, waves back, and closes the door.

It takes everything in him to not to put his back to it and slide down to the floor. He’ll save the dramatics for when he gets home.

Week 5: The Plan and Its Consequences

There’s a lingering sense of unease that follows Hanbin around for days after the evening in Zhang Hao’s apartment.

He spends most of his time keeping his phone clutched in his hand in case Zhang Hao finally decides to text him. Sometimes it buzzes and he almost drops it in his haste to check, but it’s always just Matthew.

It probably shouldn’t be as worrying as it is, but Hanbin wants to see him again and he’s tired of waiting around for something that might never come. Did he mess everything up? But why would Zhang Hao ask for his number afterwards if he never wanted to see him again? And Hanbin swears Zhang Hao was looking at his lips. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Or delusion. Probably both.

He’s not quite sure when Zhang Hao started to take up so much of his mind. He’s always thought that the other is cute, but it’s never really gone past that. Their moment from last week must have unlocked the possibility of something more in Hanbin’s brain. 

In dull moments, his imagination takes over. Like now: he’s laying on his bed in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. He’s taken back to the moment their breaths mingled together, when his eyes slipped down to Zhang Hao’s mouth, and Zhang Hao’s face turned vulnerable.

Except now, they go further. Hanbin leans in, and their lips softly connect. At first, Zhang Hao doesn’t respond, too shocked to reciprocate. But when he realizes what’s going on, he gently kisses back.

It quickly turns more frantic, more desperate. Hanbin wraps a hand around the back of Zhang Hao’s neck and deepens the kiss. Zhang Hao lets out a soft noise and brings his hands up to Hanbin’s shoulders. His fingers scrunch up the fabric of his shirt and dig into his skin. Hanbin doesn’t mind. He swipes his tongue over Zhang Hao’s bottom lip, who readily opens his mouth. Hanbin pushes in; Zhang Hao leans back against the arm of the couch, Hanbin chases him. His hands wander, moving over Zhang Hao’s chest and waist, stopping on his hips. He grips them, pulls them up to meet his, and –

His phone buzzes.

The vibration shocks him where he’s set his phone on his chest, rattling his ribcage. He scrambles to unlock his phone.

Zhang Hao: k-dramas at my apartment again tomorrow? ^3^

Zhang Hao: this is hao btw

Zhang Hao: i think taerae will be home though

Zhang Hao: if that bothers you

He sits up with a shock and rereads the messages over and over until the relief finally settles in. It’s all he can do to resist the urge to squeal and kick his feet. He turns over onto his stomach, his fingers dancing over the screen as he thinks of what to say. 

His heart thumps persistently in his chest as he cycles through the best responses. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. Was this how Zhang Hao felt when he asked him to come over? It might be a little twisted that he hopes it was.

He needs a plan. He needs to get Zhang Hao alone. He needs to test if what he’s been feeling this past week is just the result of getting no action for the past few months, if he’s just jumping on whoever gives him attention. 

He needs to see if Zhang Hao feels the same.

Hanbin: sounds good to me!

Hanbin: we could watch at my apartment instead? my roommate should be out today

Zhang Hao: okay!

Zhang Hao: meet by the front gate?

Hanbin: works for me!

Hanbin leads Zhang Hao into his living room and plops down on the loveseat. For the first time ever Hanbin he’s grateful for Matthew’s suggestion that they save money by getting a smaller couch, because Zhang Hao sits down next to him and they’re so close that Hanbin’s stomach flips.

“Since we’re at my apartment I get to pick what we watch, right?” 

Zhang Hao shrugs, his hand held out as he examines his nails. “I guess that’s fine.”

Phase one of The Plan: Set the mood and lay it on heavy.

Zhang Hao has unwittingly given him an opening. He’s going to take it.

“Oh, so you like to be in control, don’t you?” Hanbin teases. His tone veers purposefully flirtatious as he smirks slyly.

Zhang Hao must catch Hanbin’s meaning because his eyes widen and his cheeks turn pink.

“Ah– I – I wouldn’t say that exactly…”

“Do you prefer when I take the lead?” Hanbin’s fingers ghost over the exposed skin where Zhang Hao’s shirt has drooped down on his collarbone. He shudders at the sensation, then reaches up to grab Hanbin’s fingers.

“Can you stop with the weird questions?” he hisses.

Zhang Hao avoids eye contact. A victory in Hanbin’s mind, because more often than not it means he’s flustered. He grins. Should he be kind and stop the teasing? Probably. Will he? No.

“I bet you’re avoiding the question because you secretly like when I’m in control, you just don’t want to admit it. It’s okay, I won’t judge your preferences – Ow!”

His sentence is cut off by Zhang Hao hitting him in the stomach with his fist. He keels forward, clutching his abdomen.

“I’m so sorry! I did it too hard, didn’t I?” Zhang Hao sounds immediately apologetic and distraught.

“That– ugh,” Hanbin groans.

“Hm? ‘That’ what?” Zhang Hao puts a hand on his shoulder and leans in close, like Hanbin is lying on his deathbed, about to say his last words.

“That’s supposed to be my line.”

Zhang Hao goes quiet.

“Get it?”

“I’m leaving now.” He stands up from the couch and passes in front of Hanbin like he’s walking to the door. Hanbin grabs his wrist and tugs him back.

“Wait! I’m sorry. I’ll stop now. No more teasing, I swear.”

Zhang Hao eyes him warily before conceding and sitting back down on the couch.

“Hmph. You better.”

Hanbin takes the remote and shuffles through a few movie selections. It’s time to set up the rest of The Plan, which is as follows:

1. Put on a horror movie.

2. Wait for Zhang Hao to get scared.

3. Comfort him.

4. Kiss

5. ...Maybe some other stuff

It's not exactly the best plan, he’ll admit that. It was half-formed, his brain riding the high of a text reply all the way to its formation. It does seem foolproof, though. With how Zhang Hao acts on a regular basis, Hanbin just knows he’s the type to scream and cry at a scary movie.

So he puts one on, and he waits.

“Hanbin, what is this?” Zhang Hao questions as the opening of the movie plays to spooky music.

“This is my pick, Didn’t you say I could?”

“I’m going to kill you,’ is all Zhang Hao says before he goes quiet.

However, Hanbin quickly learns his mistake.

Namely, that instead of jumping into his arms like he’s supposed to, Zhang Hao yells and smacks Hanbin on the arm, chest, or thigh every time he gets scared. 

Hanbin grimaces. This is not part of The Plan.

Whatever. Minor adjustments, no big deal.

In a quiet moment of the movie, Hanbin yawns and stretches his arms over his head, then ever so slowly lays it on the back of the couch. He inches it closer, until his hand is gently resting on Hao’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Zhang Hao’s hand shoots up and he grabs Hanbin by the fingers, squeezing them until it hurts. Hanbin yelps and recoils in pain.

“I thought you said no more teasing.” Zhang Hao glares at him. “Don’t try to scare me!”

The Plan is doomed.

The rest of the movie is spent keeping his hands to himself while Zhang Hao continues to scream and swear at his side. But despite getting absolutely nowhere in the romance department, Hanbin finds himself still content to silently laugh at Zhang Hao’s dramatics. 

When the credits roll, Zhang Hao turns to him and pouts. 

“Hanbinie, you’re too mean. Why would you pick a horror movie?”

“Sorry, I thought it would be fun. We can watch something else now, if you want,” Hanbin offers.

Zhang Hao crosses his arms. “Hmph. Pick something normal this time.” 

He scrolls through the shows on his TV and lands on a comedy he recognizes. He selects it, and sets the remote down as they settle in.

As the opening song fills the living room, he feels a weight on his shoulder and startles. Zhang Hao has taken it upon himself to rest his head on Hanbin. Hanbin has to do breathing exercises to calm down his rapid heart rate. On the outside, he’s calm and collected. On the inside, he’s jumping up and down and shrieking and clapping his hands.

They stay like that for a few episodes, Zhang Hao giggling and loudly commenting on whatever’s happening on screen while Hanbin laughs along and agrees to whatever he says. He’s not even really watching; he’s seen this show a few times before – basically has it memorized – so instead he spends his time with his thoughts full of Zhang Hao, Zhang Hao, Zhang Hao.

After a few episodes, Zhang Hao sighs, pulls his head off Hanbin’s shoulder, and says, “It’s getting pretty late. I should be heading back now.”

Hanbin tries his best not to let his disappointment show on his face.

“Do you need me to walk you back? It’ll be dark soon.”

“No, I’ll be okay, Thank you, though.”

Hanbin goes with him to the door, opening it for him as he exits.

“I had a lot of fun today.” Zhang Hao gives him a coquettish grin. “Maybe we can do it again next week?”

Yes, dear God, yes.

“Yeah, sounds good to me,” he replies nonchalantly.

Zhang Hao gives him a quick goodbye and heads down the hallway towards the elevator. Hanbin watches him go until he steps in, then shuts the door to his apartment.

He hopes the neighbors don’t mind his whoops and yells.

Week 6: The Revelation

He spends a lot of time these days thinking. Imagining. Fantasizing.

He and Zhang Hao are definitely flirting. Right? All of their interactions seem so charged, like there’s a spark that both of them recognize but don’t mention out loud.

He loves it. It drives him crazy.

He wants Zhang Hao to be his already. He wants to kiss him, wants to touch him, wants to call him pretty names and watch him blush. 

He'll do whatever it takes.

He’s back in Zhang Hao’s apartment this week, as per a request from him over text earlier in the week.

He’s in the same spot from two weeks before, tucked into the corner of the couch and waiting for Zhang Hao to choose a show.

Zhang Hao grabs the remote, but makes no move to turn the TV on. He adjusts his grip on it, fingers clutching it so tightly that Hanbin can hear the creak of the springs inside. Hanbin looks at him with concern. He reaches out with the intention of touching Zhang Hao’s arm, but he puts the remote down and turns to look at him. Hanbin drops his arm.

“I thought of doing something a little different today.” 

Hanbin keeps his mouth shut. 

“I’ve, um, been thinking of my own scenes for K-dramas. Like how we used to act out scripts, but this time it’s my own script.”

“That’s –” Hanbin swallows to clear the shake in his voice – “that’s interesting. 

“Okay, so.” Zhang Hao sits up straight and smooths down the front of his sweater. “I want you to push me over.”

Hanbin blinks once, twice. He waits for a punch on the shoulder, a just kidding ! It never comes.

“Huh?”

“Like, kind of get in my space and then I’ll back away but you chase after me until I’m laying down on the couch. Got it?”

“Uh,” he responds smartly.

Zhang Hao is already looking at him with lidded eyes. So Hanbin takes a shaky breath, and acts.

He puts a hand down by Zhang Hao’s right hip, so that he moves closer into him, their faces only a breath away.

“Ah–” Hao gasps, and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth. Hanbin puts his other hand down on Zhang Hao’s left side, so that he’s caged in by both of his arms. Zhang Hao slowly backs away, but Hanbin chases him.

Zhang Hao’s back hits the arm of the chair, and Hanbin looms over him. He trails a hand up his arm.

“Is this ok?” Hanbin whispers between them. He watches the jump in Zhang Hao’s throat as he swallows, and the way his hair rustles on the arm of the couch as he shakes his head.

“It’s – It’s good. Keep going.”

Hanbin’s hand goes further up until it lands on Zhang Hao’s cheek. His thumb brushes against the soft skin there. Zhang Hao’s eyelashes flutter prettily against his cheek as he blinks up at Hanbin.

Is this the right time? The mood feels right, and there’s a tug in Hanbin’s stomach that makes him want to blurt the words out.

“Zhang Hao, I–”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking for a while, and I think there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What – what is it?”

“I– I think I–”

“Zhang Hao!” a voice sings in the entryway.

Hanbin freezes, and he and Zhang Hao look at each other with matching wide-eyed expressions.

What the hell , Hanbin says in his head.

“What the hell?” Zhang Hao says out loud as he pushes at Hanbin’s shoulder until he falls back onto the couch. “Taerae! You said not until 5!”

“Oh, did I say that? My bad.” He giggles to himself. Though nothing is that funny currently, in Hanbin’s opinion. “Sorry, did I interrupt something? Carry on, ladies,” he waves his fingers at them as he exits into the bedroom off the entryway.

“I swear to God I’m gonna kill him,” Zhang Hao mutters as he rubs at his temples.

“It’s, um, it’s ok? Do you want me to push you over again?”

“No, that’s ok. I actually need to use the bathroom really quick, just– just stay here for a second.”

He rushes off, and that’s when Hanbin notices the pink notebook sitting on the coffee table. His fingers itch to reach forward and flip through the pages. 

He glances up, makes sure Zhang Hao is safely tucked away in the bathroom before he opens the front cover. 

It’s – surprisingly bare. 

Hanbin wasn’t quite sure what he expected – club plans, perhaps. Yet what he finds on the page is random doodles of cats and what seem to be diary entries.

Pretty flowers near science building. Omg!!!

Cat cafe date: cute or annoying?

Squirrel followed me to class today

Hanbin flips the scarcely filled out page and pauses when he sees his own name written down.

Sung Hanbin: black hair, around my height, dances (!!), would date a guy if attractive

It’s the only thing written on the page.

He flips it again, and if he thought the last page was bad, this one is…well.

Scattered around the page are various hearts with HB + ZH written in the center. Perhaps more alarming are the various stick figures drawn doing couple-y things, such as holding hands or kissing. 

The evidence would lead him to believe that Zhang Hao is, without a doubt, interested in him. To say the least.

Hanbin was pretty confident before he found these incriminating sketches, given that Zhang Hao has been seemingly flirting with him for the past few weeks. Hanbin would never ask a friend such as Matthew to climb on top of him on a small couch, that’s for sure.

He closes the notebook and sets it back down on the table. He feels a bit bad for snooping, but it’s outweighed by elation. Should he just blurt out how he feels as soon as Zhang Hao steps out of the bathroom? Is it weird to be confessed to after peeing?

Just then, Zhang Hao flings the door open and comes out looking, oddly, a little frazzled. Hanbin stops the confession train of thought before it chugs along further.

“Are you okay?”

“Me? I’m awesome. Totally perfect. Um, so there’s actually something that came up, so I kind of need you to get out.”

Hanbin freezes.

“O–Oh?”

“Sorry. I just–yeah. Please leave. Thank you.”

“I…I guess I’ll be seeing you then? Text me later, maybe.”

Zhang Hao waves a distracted hand in the air and then ducks into his room without another word.

So, confession cancelled, Hanbin guesses.

Week 7: The Finale

Zhang Hao: do you want to hang out today?

Zhang Hao: i have a thing i want to try…hehe

Hanbin: sure! where should we meet

Zhang Hao: hmmm… i think taerae might be home today

Hanbin: i don't mind

Zhang Hao: i do

Hanbin: ?

Zhang Hao: can we meet at yours?

Hanbin: let me check with matthew

Hanbin: my dear lovely seokmae are you home right now

Matthew: ya why

Hanbin: do you mind if i bring someone over

Matthew: 👀

Matthew: 👀👀👀

Hanbin: 😐

Matthew: i’m assuming it’s a guy right

Hanbin: and what if it is

Matthew: 👀👀👀👀

Matthew: will you guys be doing gay stuff or nah

Matthew: i have a big exam tomorrow i’d rather not be hearing odd noises through the wall

Hanbin: most likely no

Matthew: eh?

Matthew: if you’re not sure stay out of here

Hanbin: fine 🙄

Hanbin: sorry matthew’s trying to study so he’d prefer if there was no noise

Zhang Hao: that’s ok! 

Hanbin: do you want to go to a cafe or something? 

Zhang Hao: no my activity requires not being in public

Hanbin: ?

Zhang Hao: oooooo do you want to meet up in the club classroom? I think it’s open at this time

Zhang Hao: it will be just like the old times… sigh

Hanbin: you mean the classroom we weren’t supposed to be in because someone didn’t register the club with the university

Zhang Hao: -_-

Hanbin: hehe

Hanbin: today at 3?

Zhang Hao: today at 3!!!!

“Hanbin! You’re here!” Zhang Hao shouts when Hanbin steps into the room. He skips over to him and stands in front of him expectantly.

At least Hanbin doesn’t have to worry about Zhang Hao hating him forever anymore. He had been wondering about it for the past week, if he had done something to make Zhang Hao upset. He seemed pretty weird after coming out of the bathroom. Maybe he had a stomach ache?

“Of course I am! What’s this?” Hanbin fiddles with the corner of some paper that Zhang Hao is holding. He flushes and pulls the papers into his chest.

“So, um, I’ve been working on something for a while and I wanted to show it to you.” He flips through the pages and hands Hanbin a small pile of paper.

He looks over the page. It’s full of lines of dialogue, but what sticks out the most are the names in bold.

“What…is this?”

“Like I told you last week, I’ve been working on writing some scenes of my own.”

“Alright, so then, uh, why are our names on it?”

“Oh! Right. Yeah, about that.” Zhang Hao laughs nervously and twirls a lock of hair between his fingers. “I just thought that since we’re gonna act it out, it would be more natural if we just used our own names, yeah?”

Sure. Very normal. Not at all weird.

“Okay, so, do you want me to start? Like, right now?”

Zhang Hao nods firmly and flashes him a quick thumbs up.

“ Zhang Hao. Can we talk for a bit? ” he begins.

“ Hanbin! Sure, what do you need? ”

“ We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently, and…I think you’re really kind and pretty – did you have to write this part in?”

Zhang Hao looks up to give him a blank stare. 

“ I think you’re really kind and pretty, and I like being around you. I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date? With me? ”

There’s no response. Hanbin looks up to see Zhang Hao reading over the script, his face screwed up in what Hanbin can only assume is some sort of discomfort or pain.

“Hao?” he starts carefully. “It’s your line.”

Zhang Hao’s fingers clench on the sides of his paper.

“This was a bad idea.”

“Um… that’s not in the script…”

“I should’ve known this was a mistake. I’m so stupid.”

His face crumples, and he hurries to pick up his backpack off the floor. He shoves his papers into the front pocket and takes off out of the classroom, passing by Hanbin in a flurry of movement. Though he only got a quick glimpse, Hanbin thinks his eyes look shiny and wet.

“Hey, Zhang Hao, wait!” he calls after him. He follows him into the hallway, but Zhang Hao’s brisk pace means he wants to escape, so Hanbin lets him.

He watches him go in a state of shock. He’s frazzled and not quite sure what to do – chase after him? Let him be? No one’s ever run away from him crying before. He’s not quite sure what caused it either. 

Zhang Hao clearly has feelings for him – or is it had? Was his acting so bad that Zhang Hao got overwhelmed and changed his mind? By stupid did he mean that he’s stupid for having feelings for Hanbin? 

Now he’s panicking a bit.

No. He refuses to accept that answer. 

There’s no way the charged feelings between them could be reversed and forgotten so easily. And the way Zhang Hao’s mind works can be an enigma – Hanbin is sure there’s something else bothering him. He’ll do whatever it takes to pry it out of him.

He’s made up his mind: he’ll confess to Zhang Hao today if it’s the last thing he does.

Hanbin sighs and runs a hand over his face before he knocks firmly on the door of Zhang Hao’s apartment.

He’s not particularly hopeful that anything will happen. Clearly Zhang Hao doesn’t want to talk. There’s a good chance there will be no response, and Hanbin will be left standing in the hallway like an idiot. Maybe he should do his best sad eyes at the peephole to help his case.

There’s also the chance that Zhang Hao isn’t in his apartment at all. Hanbin regrets not running after him when he first dashed from the classroom. In his defense, he was still reeling from the whiplash of the situation to think properly. 

The door opens enough for a face to appear in the gap. Hanbin perks up, ready to immediately beg for forgiveness before he realizes that it’s not Zhang Hao.

“I should’ve known you had something to do with it,” Taerae says.

Hanbin ignores that ominous statement and tries to peer into the apartment. “Is Zhang Hao here?” 

The door opens all the way. There’s no sign of Zhang Hao. Taerae purses his lips and looks Hanbin up and down.

“Considering Hao just ran in here crying and refused to talk to me, I should probably say no.”

“But–”

“But since Hao is the biggest drama queen I know,” Taerae interrupts, “I’m going to let you in. He’s in his bedroom. Don’t make me regret this.” He steps out of the way, and it’s all Hanbin can do to not fall on the ground and kiss his feet.

Hanbin bows profusely as he enters the apartment. “Thank you so, so much.” 

“You can thank me later by keeping any noises to a minimum,” Taerae snickers, flustering Hanbin. Is it just a roommate thing to assume everything leads to sex? It must be.

He walks through the living room to reach Zhang Hao’s door. The couch makes him picture the ghost of them on it, how close they were. It couldn’t have just been his imagination then. It had to have been real.

He raps his knuckles gently on Zhang Hao’s door.

“Taerae, I told you I want to be alone,” comes Zhang Hao’s watery voice.

“Um. It’s me,” Hanbin responds.

There’s silence behind the door, then a few stomps. The door flings open.

“Why are you here?” Zhang Hao’s eyes are red rimmed and watery, his cheeks splotched with pink. 

“Because you were crying? And I felt bad?” 

Zhang Hao trudges away from the door and throws himself on the bed face first. Hanbin takes it as an invitation and tiptoes into the room, closing the door behind him. 

Hanbin had never allowed himself to try and imagine Zhang Hao’s bedroom before, scared of what would follow if he began that train of thought. But if he had to do it, he’s sure it would’ve been something like what he sees: music posters scattered around the walls, little figurines standing on a shelf, a makeup vanity in the corner, a fluffy baby pink blanket draped over the bed.

Hanbin picks up a dog plushie on the side of Zhang Hao’s bed and takes its place. 

“I’m sorry for coming here without your permission,” Hanbin begins. “It’s just – you seemed really distraught. And I don’t know if I did something to cause that.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault. It was me. I’m just stupid. It’s all stupid,” Zhang Hao rants into his sheets.

Hanbin taps Zhang Hao on his exposed cheekbone. “Hey, don’t say that. It’s not stupid if it’s got you this upset.”

Zhang Hao shifts his head so his cheek rests against the bed, facing Hanbin. The way it smushes his face up is unfairly cute. “You think of me as your friend, right?” he mumbles, his words coming out a bit funny from the way his mouth is pouted.

Hanbin cocks his head. “Yes?”

Zhang Hao sniffles. “If I tell you, I don’t think we’ll be friends anymore.” He turns his head away from Hanbin.

Hanbin places his hand lightly on Zhang Hao’s upper back to comfort him.

“Hao, I promise, whatever you need to tell me won’t change how I think of you,” he says softly.

“Don’t believe you.” Zhang Hao shakes his head.

Hanbin sighs and runs his free hand through his hair. He wanted to wait to tell Zhang Hao, but it seems like now he has no other choice. There doesn’t seem to be a way to get through to him otherwise. He hopes Zhang Hao forgives him for being so unromantic.

“Okay, I’ll tell you a secret first and then we’ll see if that changes your mind. I like you.”

Zhang Hao doesn’t move, doesn’t speak at first.

“What?”

“I like you,” Hanbin repeats.

Zhang Hao shoots up into a sitting position and grabs Hanbin’s wrists. 

“You’re not just messing with me are you?” He’s gripping Hanbin tight, his fingernails digging into his skin. Still, there’s astonishment, and also what looks like hope, in his eyes.

Hanbin manages to shake ZHang Hao’s hands off of him, and then laces their fingers together. “How poorly do you think of me? Of course I’m not! Now you have to tell me your secret.”

Zhang Hao eyes him suspiciously. “Why do I feel like you already know what you want me to say?”

Hanbin hums playfully. “I might have an idea.”

Zhang Hao frowns at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t get mad.”

“Tell me!” Zhang Hao pouts.

“Last week when you went to the bathroom I may have sort of kind of looked into your notebook and saw that you drew us kissing.” Hanbin braces himself, ready for the onslaught of either whining or smacking that’s about to come.

Sure enough, Zhang Hao releases Hanbin’s hands in favor of hitting him across the back of the knuckles. 

“I can’t believe you!” comes the expected wail.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad!” Hanbin whines back.

Zhang Hao flops back on the bed with a huff and covers his face with an arm. “Now I just feel dumb.”

“It’s not dumb. I’m not gonna make fun of you, so just tell me what’s wrong.”

Zhang Hao sighs and slips his arm off his face.

“Obviously I had a crush on you,” he starts.

Hanbin fakes a gasp. “Really?”

Zhang Hao huffs in return. “Shut up. I had a crush on you, and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. So I wrote that stupid script. Honestly, I don’t even know what I thought was going to happen. That you were going to read it and magically fall in love with me, or that acting it out would satisfy me. But when you read it out it just hit me that it was all fake and I freaked out.”

“It’s not fake now, though,” Hanbin responds. He really is trying to be comforting, though it comes out, admittedly, a bit pathetic.

“I can see that.” Zhang Hao rolls his eyes.

Hanbin takes a moment to roll what Zhang Hao said around in his brain. There’s something about it that bothers him.

“Did you really not know I liked you?”

“How was I supposed to know?” Zhang Hao protests, crossing his arms. 

Hanbin reels back from the incredulousness of it all. He’s sure he looks a little idiotic when his mouth drops open.

“I almost kissed you! Twice!” The pitch and volume of his voice rise before he can control them. Can he be blamed, though? It’s so ridiculous, it’s a blessing he hasn’t started full-on shouting yet.

Zhang Hao doesn’t pay it any mind, instead cocking his head to the side and asking, “When did that happen?” 

“When we were watching k-dramas in the living room? And then again on the couch last week!”

“What!” Zhang Hao sits up and his mouth drops open in astonishment. They must be wearing twin expressions at this point. “I thought I was just being crazy that first time! And on the couch, I thought you were going to tell me I was making you uncomfortable. That’s why I ran away to the bathroom and then freaked out and kicked you out!”

Hanbin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you serious – Wow. Ok. It’s a miracle we ended up here.”

Zhang Hao cracks up and then dissolves into a fit of giggles. The sight and sound makes Hanbin happy in turn. Unable to control his joy, he laughs along.

A tear drips down Zhang Hao’s cheek, a remnant from his earlier sadness. Hanbin reaches forward and swipes it away with his thumb, and his hand stays planted on Zhang Hao’s cheek. His giggles fade out, and his face turns unguarded as he stares at Hanbin.

It’s a bit like that day on the couch, the one Hanbin had envisioned ending differently than it did. Only this time, he’s able to act.

He leans forward and presses his lips into Zhang Hao’s like he’s been wanting to for weeks. Zhang Hao’s hand clutches on to the side of his t-shirt as he kisses back, slowly and gently.

It’s just like Hanbin imagined. No, it’s more .

He pulls back to admire Zhang Hao’s flushed face, but when he leans in again Zhang Hao’s eyes widen and pushes his mouth away with a hand.

“Wait!I just cried my eyes out! And I don’t have any makeup on! This is so embarrassing.” He pulls away from Hanbin. “You need to take me somewhere romantic so we can kiss again and pretend it was our first one.” 

Zhang Hao rushes to his vanity and busies himself with pulling out various products from a makeup bag.

Hanbin is rooted to the bed, slightly feeling like he just got smacked in the face. Zhang Hao will always be Zhang Hao, even in serious situations such as these. The whiplash almost makes him laugh

Regardless, gets up and sits beside him on the bench. There’s not enough space for the both of them to fit comfortably. The sides of their body press together in what should feel bothersome, but Hanbin enjoys feeling the brush of Zhang Hao’s clothes and the way his muscles shift, even if his ass is halfway off the seat. 

He wraps an arm around Zhang Hao’s hips to keep himself steady, and rests his chin on the edge of Zhang Hao’s shoulder. He watches through the mirror as Zhang Hao pats his face with a foundation puff. 

If Zhang Hao finds him annoying, he doesn’t say anything, even through applying glitter to his eyelids and a pink gloss to his lips. 

“What do you think?” he asks, first locking eyes with Hanbin in the mirror and then turning so they’re face to face.

It dawns on Hanbin, just then, that this is all real. He and Zhang Hao are together. It makes him feel giddy, like he just took a shot of caffeine straight to the veins. He wants to jump up and bounce off the walls and yell it to the whole world.

Instead, he just grins.

“My Zhang Hao,” he coos. He presses a kiss to his left cheek. “Always so pretty.” Another kiss to his right cheek, just because he can.

Zhang Hao ducks his head, giggling. “Sung Hanbin, who knew you were such a romantic?”

“Was it not obvious? Did you not fantasize about it all those times?” he teases.

Zhang Hao presses his lips together. “I never should have told you about that.”

Hanbin rolls his eyes. “I would have found out eventually. It’s not like I didn’t imagine things on my own.”

“Oh? And what did you imagine exactly?” 

Ah. He’s been caught, hasn’t he.

Zhang Hao smirks when Hanbin tries to fumble through a response. “Must have been dirty, then.”

Hanbin whines in rebuttal and buries his face in Zhang Hao’s shoulder. Zhang Hao giggles and pats the side of his head with his free hand, then finishes up his makeup with some powder. Hanbin turns and looks at both of them in the mirror.

It’s unreal, Hanbin thinks, that he gets to have Zhang Hao like this. Gets to see these different sides of him, gets to do things as simple yet as lovely as laying his head on his shoulder as he gets ready.

“Okay, get off.” Zhang Hao jabs him in his side with a pointy elbow.

He grabs a bottle of perfume and sprays a cloud of grapefruit scented mist all over his upper body. The scent is immediately familiar to him. He laughs before he can stop himself. 

Zhang Hao turns to glare at him. “What’s so funny?” 

Hanbin waves a hand around in the air, while his giggles die down. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Zhang Hao eyes him suspiciously for a few seconds longer before turning back to his task. 

Then Hanbin remembers something.

“Hey, you know what’ll cheer you up even more?” 

Zhang Hao makes a noise of acknowledgment. 

“I drove my car here.” 

Zhang Hao pauses, the makeup brush still caught in the groove under his eye.

“Seriously?” When Hanbin nods, he slams the brush down and jumps up, grabbing Hanbin by the elbows and tugging him out of the apartment.

“Why didn’t you say so earlier? Let’s go now.”

As Hanbin leads him to the car, twirling his keys between his fingers, Zhang Hao skips beside him in excitement. Hanbin never knew someone could be so overjoyed at the prospect of a simple car ride. Zhang Hao is somehow both the easiest and hardest person to please.

He’s practically bouncing in his seat as Hanbin starts the car and takes off on the road. He rolls down the passenger window and sticks his head out, feeling the cool spring breeze on his face and in his hair. Hanbin snorts as he glances at him from the corner of his eye. He eases up on the gas, making sure to not go too fast so that Zhang Hao can enjoy the ride without the wind nipping too hard at him.

It’s a short ride to where they’re going. Hanbin parks in the lot when they arrive and gets out to open Zhang Hao’s door for him.

“Isn’t this just campus?” he pouts.

“Shush, come on, you’ll see.” He holds out his hand, and Zhang Hao takes it as he clambers out of the passenger seat. He stumbles a bit as he steps out and catches himself on Hanbin’s bicep.

“Oops,” he giggles.

Definitely not an accident. Hanbin rolls his eyes, but the corners of his lips turn up in amusement.

He takes them down a path to a secluded area surrounded by cherry blossom trees. He found this spot randomly while wandering during a gap between classes last school year. He used to come here sometimes when he needed a calming place to bang his head against a wooden picnic table, but, thankfully, he hasn’t had much need for it in the past couple of months. 

He stops them in the middle of it all and faces Zhang Hao, clutching his hands in each his own.

There’s a steady stream of sunshine pouring in from the gaps of the blossoms. They hit the top of Zhang Hao’s golden hair and the contours of his face, casting him in an angelic glow. His eyes sparkle a lighter shade of brown as he gazes doe-eyed at Hanbin. It’s criminally unfair for his poor heart. 

He clears his throat firmly and begins.

“Zhang Hao. The most perfect and beautiful and charming and kind and intelligent–”

“Are you being annoying on purpose?”

“ –And cute and funny and handsome and lovely and pretty boy I’ve ever met. Would you do me the great honor of being my boyfriend?”

Zhang Hao presses his lips together, unamused. “This was supposed to be serious.”

“I am serious!” 

Zhang Hao eyes Hanbin warily. There must be some level of earnestness on Hanbin’s face, because he sighs and relents.

“Well, I suppose the answer is yes,” he grumbles.

Hanbin breaks into a smile so wide that his cheeks hurt. He flings his arms around Zhang Hao’s shoulders and wraps him in a tight hug. Zhang Hao, wanting to seem reluctant, huffs in annoyance. Yet Hanbin can tell he’s pleased by the way he winds his arms around Hanbin’s waist and buries his face in Hanbin’s shoulder.

Hanbin leans back and plants a wet kiss on the side of his face. When he makes a noise of protest, Hanbin finds it so cute that he does it two more times for good measure.

“Can I kiss you now?” he pouts.

Zhang Hao sighs loudly and dramatically. “If you must.”

Despite his act of belligerence, Zhang Hao accepts the kiss readily, his hands moving up Hanbin’s back to cling to his shoulder blades.

The petals fall around them, and Hanbin feels so full he could explode into a million pieces. He’s smiling so hard that he has to pull back. 

Zhang Hao’s cheeks are as pink as the trees that surround them, and Hanbin is sure he’s the same.

“Was that a good enough first kiss for you?”

Zhang Hao gives him a demure tilt of his lips. “I don’t know. I might need another one to compare.”

Hanbin is more than willing to do that. He leans back in.

He goes back to Zhang Hao’s apartment afterwards, too delighted to separate from him. They walk through the front door hand in hand, giggling quietly and shushing each other as they tiptoe to Zhang Hao’s room.

Zhang Hao topples onto his bed, pulling Hanbin down with him. They lay on their stomachs facing each other.

“Ah, what should I do, I’m so happy,” Zhang Hao whispers. Hanbin isn’t sure if it was meant for him, or simply Zhang Hao speaking into the air. 

Regardless, he brushes a bit of hair out of Zhang Hao’s face, and says, “Me too.”

Zhang Hao’s eyes trail over his face. “You know, I’ve always wanted someone to sweep me off my feet. I think I watched too many shows that I got a bit deluded. Over time, I started to accept that it wouldn’t happen for me.”

Zhang Hao pauses, and Hanbin strokes his hair while he waits for him to continue.

“But I think I was right to have hope. And I just wanted to say thank you. For coming into my life.”

Hanbin smiles softly at him. “I have a confession, too.”

“What’s that?” Zhang Hao whispers.

“I don’t watch K-dramas. I only stayed in the club because I thought you were cute.”

Zhang Hao snorts. “I had my suspicions when you fell asleep on my couch. Am I that boring to you?”

Zhang Hao’s eyes flutter shut when Hanbin leans forward to press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

“You could never be boring to me.”

The corner of Zhang Hao’s lip curls up. “You’re stupid.”

“You’re stupider.”

“No, you’re stupider.”

“ No , you’re stupider.”

Zhang Hao purses his lips. “I’m kicking you out.”

…

He ends up spending the night.

Week ???: Epilogue 

Hanbin has a problem. 

To be clear, he’s not quite sure if Zhang Hao’s the problem or if it’s him.

The past month or so that they’ve been dating has been perfect. They see each other as often as they can, and when they can’t, they text each other several times throughout the day. Hanbin has never felt as happy, as in love .

There’s just one thing that’s wrong.

Hanbin is incredibly horny. 

He can hardly be blamed for this. He’s a man in his early twenties – which should be explanation enough – but to top it all off, Zhang Hao is really, really attractive.

He’d obviously been aware of Zhang Hao’s looks from the start, but his thoughts about him always veered on the cute side of the attractiveness spectrum. Though now that they’re dating, Hanbin has begun to notice the more sensual aspects of Zhang Hao’s persona.

For example: Zhang Hao likes to wear quite short athletic shorts paired with Hanbin’s hoodies when they’re hanging out at one of their apartments. Every time it happens, Hanbin’s eyes latch on to the pale expanse of his seemingly hairless legs and won’t let go. 

Zhang Hao must notice it, too, because sometimes he’ll stretch out in what Hanbin knows is a calculated move. He’ll throw a leg over his lap when they’re on the couch, or ask him to give his legs a massage. Damn him, really.

Another example: He and Zhang Hao makeout. Like, a lot. Probably too much for what normal self-respecting young adults should be doing, and more in the territory of high schoolers who don’t know that concept yet and disgust everyone around them. Neither of them care much. 

Like a few days ago, when Hanbin had Zhang Hao laid out on his bed, his shirt hiked up to his chest from Hanbin’s hands exploring the planes of his stomach. With every brush of his hand against his sensitive skin, Zhang Hao would whine into Hanbin’s mouth.

But when Hanbin tried to skirt his hands lower, Zhang Hao broke the kiss and swatted them away.

“What do you think you’re doing,” he had asked with a suspicious squint of his eyes.

Their makeout session ended almost immediately, leaving Hanbin with the worst case of blue balls in his life.

In his personal opinion, Hanbin thinks one month is an incredibly reasonable time to wait to have sex. Almost too long, some would say. He’s not completely sure what the standard is, considering most of his college relationships have been merely short flings.

And that brings up another point: he’s not sure what Zhang Hao’s level of experience is. He doesn’t start conversations about exes, mainly because he’s worried that by the end of it he’ll either be in tears or ready to punch somebody. 

He has…an idea. He won’t call it a plan because historically his plans have not gone very well. But he has a good feeling about this idea. It's a very simple one, really.

It’s a rare day where they both have freetime in the evening to hang out – Hanbin doesn’t have dance class, Zhang Hao doesn’t have practice. As such, they arranged to meet up after Zhang Hao’s last lecture and head over to his apartment.

Hanbin sits on a bench outside of Zhang Hao’s classroom, scrolling absentmindedly through his Instagram feed while waiting for the lecture to finish. 

As the door opens and a steady stream of people begin pouring out, he stands up and waits for a familiar face to pop up.

He’s the last one to come out of the room and breaks into a smile when he sees Hanbin waiting for him

“Hanbinie!” he cheers. He bounces over to where Hanbin is standing and throws his arms around his shoulders. Hanbin wraps his arms around Zhang Hao’s waist and squeezes, lifting him slightly off the floor

“Hi, baby,” he mutters into the crook of his neck. 

He puts him down and  tucks a lock of hair behind Zhang Hao’s ear. “Ready to go?”

Zhang Hao nods excitedly, and they exit the building, still wrapped around each other.

Hanbin doesn’t make any moves at first, because he’s classy and a gentleman. Instead, he waits patiently under the pretense of both of them getting homework done. He actually does have homework to do this time, thankfully, so checkers will have to be put off to another time.

They’re laying on Zhang Hao’s bed, Hanbin flat on his stomach while Zhang Hao is sitting with his back to the headboard, legs splayed out in front of him.

Hanbin groans and slams his laptop closed. “I can’t work on this anymore or I might start crying.”

Zhang Hao hums in acknowledgement, but keeps writing in his notebook. That won’t do.

“Hao,” Hanbin draws out, rolling onto his side and poking Zhang Hao on the thigh. “Let’s take a break.”

“A break to do what,” Zhang Hao challenges while raising an eyebrow skeptically.

He knows what, and Hanbin will show him.

He sits up on his knees and plucks the notebook out of Zhang Hao’s hands and tosses it to the end of the bed, and then cages him in with a hand on either side of his body.

Zhang Hao sighs, already used to Hanbin’s persistence by now. He loops his arms around Hanbin’s neck and slides down until he’s laying on his back with his head resting against the pillow.

“Is this what you wanted?” He blinks up at him with faux innocence.

Hanbrin grins and dives down, wasting no time in making their kiss rough and passionate. Unable to control himself, he bites at Zhang Hao’s lips and licks into his mouth without abandon. 

It feeds some ugly beast behind his ribcage when Zhang Hao sighs and makes small noises of pleasure back into his mouth. It’s satisfying to know that, despite Zhang Hao’s ever enduring fussy facade, underneath it he enjoys Hanbin’s more demanding side.

He brushes Zhang Hao’s shirt up to his tummy and grabs onto the side of his waist. Zhang Hao whimpers when his fingers tighten and he’s held down onto the bed. 

It’s all going as it usually does. Maybe even better, because Hanbin pulls back to gauge the expression on Zhang Hao’s face, and his eyes are a little dazed and distant, like he’s becoming lost in pleasure. 

Hanbin won’t let him think too much. He latches onto his neck, sucking little wet spots that start at his earlobe and move down to his collarbone. 

Zhang Hao’s fingers card through the hair at the back of his head. He pulls a little tighter and gasps out a faint, “Ah, Hanbin” when he nips a bit harder on a sensitive spot on his skin.

Hanbin takes this as a green light. The hand on his waist tracks further down until it’s brushing the waistband of Zhang Hao’s black gym shorts. There still hasn’t been any resistance. Hanbin’s already diligently beating heart starts hammering. He might really succeed this time.

He dips his fingers into Zhang Hao’s shorts and slides his palm over the cotton fabric of his briefs. Then Zhang Hao is digging his fingers into Hanbin’s scalp and pulling on his locks so hard that Hanbin thinks he might be holding them in his hand as he backs up with a wince and a yelp of pain.

“Why did you do that?” he sulks, rubbing at the sensitive part of his head.

“Why was your hand down there?” Zhang Hao glowers.

Hanbin huffs and flops onto his stomach onto the sheets. It’s no use, he just has to accept his dick will fall off at this rate. 

“Hao,” he moans sullenly into the sheets. Zhang Hao snorts and pats his shoulder in what is probably supposed to be comforting but mostly feels like mocking. Boohoo, I won’t let you have sex with me, your life must be so hard.

He sniffles and picks up his head to rest his chin on Zhang Hao’s stomach. WIth his best watery puppy dog eyes and pouty lips he looks up at Zhang Hao. His face seems quite impassive despite Hanbin’s best efforts, but he puts a hand in Hanbin’s hair and strokes through it consolingly.

“Hao, baby, you know I love you, right?” 

“I may have heard it a time or two,” he nods.

“Please, please, please, can we have sex?” he pleads.

Zhang Hao’s hand leaves his head as he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sung Hanbin.”

Hanbin whimpers in response.

“Are you seriously asking me this?”

Hanbin lets out a cry and buries his face in Zhang Hao’s stomach.

“Hao,” he whines into his stomach. “Please. I need it so bad. I could treat you so well.” 

He’s well aware of how pathetic he sounds. Will he stop? No way. 

He pauses his crying to pout up at Zhang Hao again. The puppy dog eyes are back in full force.

“We’ve been dating for a while now. Don’t you think it’s time? I just want to show you how much I love you.”

He also wants to stop needing to come by himself in his shower whenever he gets too pent up when he has a perfectly sexy boyfriend who could help him, but he obviously won’t say that.

Zhang Hao narrows his eyes and stares at Hanbin’s face, trying to read him. Hanbin deepens the pout.

“I’m going to take a shower, and you’re going to stay here until I’m done.” Zhang Hao pins him with an intense look. 

Is it actually finally happening? Hanbin’s throat is way too dry. He attempts to swallow. “Awesome. Perfect. Sounds good.” 

Zhang Hao clambers off the bed and trudges over to the door, leaving Hanbin laying alone.

“Don’t have too much fun, though,” he calls after him.

Zhang Hao glares at him before he shuts the door.

Hanbin exhales in relief and tosses himself onto his back.

 This is real. This is happening. Zhang Hao needs to be done with his shower as soon as possible. From what Hanbin has witnessed, he’s a bit high maintenance, favoring unreasonably long showers for reasons Hanbin doesn’t know.

What Hanbin does know is that he might actually pass away if he has to wait twenty minutes for this to happen.

He needs a distraction. He picks himself up off the bed and paces around the room. There’s still his laptop and Zhang Hao’s notebook scattered on the bed. He’ll start there. He picks them up and arranges them neatly on Zhang Hao’s side table. Perfect. 10 seconds wasted with ease.

The vanity in the corner of the room is a little messy; he cleans up the various makeup products left out and puts them back in Zhang Hao’s makeup bag. There’s a neat little collection of perfumes in the corner. Hanbin recognizes one bottle as being the infamous grapefruit scent. He picks it up and takes a sniff of the spray. Yep, definitely the scent on the paper that first week. He goes through all of Zhang Hao’s perfumes and tests them out. It’s probably a little creepy to be sticking his nose in his boyfriend’s perfumes, but he’s not at his full mental capacity right now.

Once he’s done with that, he paces around the room a bit more. What can he do to actually be helpful? Clean Zhang Hao’s room some more? Even though Zhang Hao is usually very busy, his room is fairly neat and tidy. There are a few clothes on the floor, which Hanbin folds and puts away in Zhang Hao’s dresser. 

He checks his phone. It’s only been 5 minutes. Shit. More distractions.

Zhang Hao likes to sleep with plushies on his bed, which is very cute and adorable, but…maybe not for right now. Hanbin picks up a red panda plushie and a dog plushie and sets them gingerly on the floor next to the bed because Zhang Hao would kill him if he ever threw them around. He gives the dog a pat on its head. 

He lays back on the bed but something is…off. The air is a little uncomfortable, and somehow it feels like there are eyes on him. He turns his head, and the dog is staring right at him with its dark beaded eyes. 

He gets up, picks it up, and spins it around to face the wall. 

There’s the sound of a doorknob turning. Hanbin whirls around and Zhang Hao is meekly walking into the room, towel draped over his arm. He’s wearing the same clothes he left in, and, surprisingly, his hair still looks dry.

He tosses his towel into the laundry basket and sits on the edge of the bed without a word. Hanbin strides over, takes a spot next to him, and puts a hand on his exposed thigh. The skin there is slightly warm, and Hanbin can feel the vestiges of water still clinging onto his skin. It must have just been a body wash then. Hanbin gets far too giddy at that realization. Zhang Hao must have wanted to speed up the process just as much as he did. 

Hanbin puts a hand on the side of his face and tilts it towards him. Zhang Hao refuses to look up, his chin hanging down to shield his face. There’s a faint tinge of pink on the top of his cheekbones – from the heat of the shower or the heat of what they’re about to do, Hanbin doesn’t know.

“You’re ready? And you’re not just doing this because you feel like I coerced you?”

Zhang Hao’s eyelashes flutter, and he mumbles something under his breath. 

Hanbin leans in. “What was that?”

Zhang Hao finally looks up, and he looks so beautiful that Hanbin feels his breath stolen away. “I said you’re stupid.” And then Hanbin is being ambushed with Zhang Hao’s hands on the side of his face and his lips crashing into his and their noses smashing together.

Hanbin’s hand tightens on Zhang Hao’s thigh as he pushes back, the other hand holding onto the small of his back. He guides them back onto the bed so that Zhang Hao is lying underneath him, much like how they were before.

Hanbin pulls back with a small gasp to catch his breath. As he looks down at Zhang Hao, he thinks how unfair it is how absolutely angelic Zhang Hao looks while in the midst of being ruined. His shorts and t-shirt are already riding up, exposing the soft, pale lines of his skin. His hands have fallen to the sides of his head, and it all looks so sensual. Like he’s inviting Hanbin in to take him. 

Hanbin can’t believe they waited this long to do this.

He leans down to lick a stripe up the flat of Zhang Hao’s tummy, who whines in response and arches his back to meet Hanbin’s tongue. He keeps going higher until he latches onto Zhang Hao’s nipple and swirls his tongue around. Zhang Hao lets out a cry and clutches onto Hanbin’s shoulder with one hand and throws the other over his mouth.

“Hanbin,” he moans into the back of his hand. 

He pushes on Hanbin until he gets the message and falls off to the side. Zhang Hao digs through the nightstand on his side of the bed and pulls out a small bottle of lube. It’s about half-used. Oh, Hanbin’s imagination will be fed for months.

He holds a palm out to take the bottle from him, but Zhang Hao tsks and tightens his grip on it.

“I’m doing it myself.”

Hanbin blanches. “You’re joking.”

“Do you want to do this or not?” He glares. “My room, my rules.” 

He stands up, about to shimmy off his shorts, when he pauses. Then he scurries over to his door and flips the lightswitch, turning the room completely dark.

“Seriously?”

“I’m embarrassed,” he whines. His voice is coming from nearby, and Hanbin can faintly see his outline at the edge of the bed. He rolls over and flicks on the small lamp on his side of the bed.

“Happy medium?”

“Whatever.”

He faces his back to Hanbin and pulls off his shorts and his briefs together, leaving Hanbin with a full view of his ass. And really, it’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. Probably more. It’s perfectly round and perky. Hanbin can’t wait to get his hands on it.

Zhang Hao climbs on the bed, still slightly turned away from Hanbin. Hanbin begins kissing up his shoulder and onto his neck, little comforting pecks to get him to relax. 

“Why are you so shy?” he mutters into a kiss. “It’s just me.”

Zhang Hao scoffs. “Just you,” he mocks. “I’m nervous, okay? I don’t even know why, either. Just–just be gentle with me.”

Hanbin is going to die.

Zhang Hao lubes up his fingers then tosses the bottle somewhere on the bed. He reaches his arm behind himself. The angle means that Hanbin can’t see what’s going on back there, which feels like a unique form of torture. Still, he kisses over every inch of Zhang Hao’s face and neck as his arm starts moving and his breaths and gasps his Hanbin’s skin.

Zhang Hao must add more fingers sometime soon. It’s easy to tell, because his whines come in more frequently and higher in pitch. Hanbin bites down on his chest and Zhang Hao hisses, which dissolves into a faint whimper.

“Doing so well,” he praises, finishing the sentence with a kiss.

“I’m – I’m ready,” Zhang Hao pants into his ear.

Oh God. Weeks worth of dreaming are about to come to fruition.

“How do you want to do it?”

“Back up.”

Hanbin does as instructed, and Zhang Hao flips himself onto his stomach.

“Like this.”

“...You sure?”

“What, you had a different idea?”

“Well, I kinda wanted to see your face…” he trails off.

Zhang Hao buries his face in the sheets. “Not happening. So embarrassing. I think I’d die.”

“Well, whatever my princess wants, my princess will get.” Hanbin gives his exposed butt a light smack, to which Zhang Hao yelps and jolts.

“Can you lift your hips up at least?”

Zhang Hao shakes his head. “No. Just want to lay here.” His voice is muffled in the sheets.

“Here, take this at least.” He grabs a pillow from along Zhang Hao’s headboard and lifts him up, putting the pillow under his hips.

Hanbin kicks his sweatpants and boxers off and lines himself up with Zhang Hao’s hole. “Ready?” he breathes out.

Zhang Hao gives a little nod.

Hanbin presses in, and his brain goes white. After weeks of pent up frustration, it feels like he might just come on the spot. He knows what Zhang Hao means by so embarrassing, I think I’d die now. He squeezes his eyes shut and focuses all his energy on trying to control himself.

Underneath him, Zhang Hao has gone stiff and silent. Hanbin leans in close to give his earlobe a featherlight kiss.

“Okay?” 

Zhang Hao nods.

“‘M good, just – big.”

Hanbin is never going to forget this as long as he lives.

“I’m gonna move, ‘kay?”

He lifts himself up, pulls his hips back, and pushes back in. He groans; It’s already too addictive and intoxicating. Despite his urges, he tries to maintain a slow pace as he continues to thrust for Zhang Hao’s sake.

Zhang Hao, who is beginning to let out small mewls every time Hanbin presses in. Hanbin goes a little faster, just to see if he can punch those sounds out louder. 

Sure enough, with Hanbin thrusting in at a continuous pace, Zhang Hao cries out more and more. It’s like music to Hanbin’s ears. Is it weird to find someone’s whimpers so beautiful? Zhang Hao’s are. Adorably whiny and high-pitched, and only increasing as Hanbin continues.

“Hanbin, Hanbin,” he chants. Hanbin presses his chest to Zhang Hao’s back and kisses Zhang Hao’s shoulder blade.

Zhang Hao cranes his head towards Hanbin. His cheeks are damp and his eyes are shiny.

“Kiss?” he mumbles through his tears, pouting his lips in an invitation. Who is Hanbin to say no? He willingly indulges him, kissing him gently and sweetly. Zhang Hao whimpers into their kiss.

“Ah, I’m close.” He pulls back and wraps his arms around Zhang Hao’s waist and buries his face in the space between Zhang Hao’s shoulders. It’s a little harder to move his hips in this position, but he likes to feel Zhang Hao’s skin on his, to feel totally connected.

Zhang Hao doesn’t respond in words, but he buries his head back into his arms as moans continue to be forced out of him with every thrust. 

“Hanbin,” he’s soon sobbing. 

“I know, baby. I got you.” He thrusts in harder, chasing both his and Zhang Hao’s release.

With just a few more presses of his hips Zhang Hao is crying out and tensing around him. The sensation is all too much, and Hanbin is spilling into him with a moan.

Really, it’s a miracle he lasted that long. He’s going to say a prayer tonight.

He pulls out of Zhang Hao and flops down next to him with a groan. Zhang Hao gingerly pushes himself up and grabs the pillow underneath him.

“My pillow,” he says pitifully and mournfully. There’s a stain left on it from his cum.

“Just wash it tomorrow. I’m tired.”

Zhang Hao quirks an eyebrow at him. “And whose fault is that?”

“...Yours?”

It’s the wrong answer. Zhang Hao presses his lips together in dissatisfaction.

“You were the one who was begging me. Don’t complain now.”

Hanbin gapes at him. “You were the one who kept denying me for weeks! What’s with that.” He pouts.

Zhang Hao throws the pillow onto the floor and lays back. “Just had to make sure you were serious, that’s all.”

Hanbin studies him, trying to figure out what that could possibly mean. Zhang Hao nonchalantly plays with his hair.

“And I might have been trying to string you along to see how desperate you would get. I was hoping you would maybe get some rose petals.”

Hanbin snorts. “You would want that, wouldn’t you? You and your K-drama obsession.”

Zhang Hao freezes, his arm caught up in the air by his head. “Hanbin.”

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean the club is officially over?”

“Um. I’m kind of the only member. And we haven’t had a meeting since, like, the third week of the club.”

Zhang Hao’s lips turn down. “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.” His frown turns up into a small grin as he closes his eyes and hums. “I guess part of my plan worked then.”

“And what’s that?”

“My plan to start a club to get a boyfriend.”

“Your what?”

End