Chapter Text
It all began as a joke.
Over text, on call, everywhere he could (except through a letter - he didn't feel like that would've been the behavior of a sane person), Skeppy knew of and used a certain sentence, powerful enough to slay kings, destroy empires, and drill a hole in a certain someone's mind. He wielded that power mercilessly, never caring about the consequences, as they usually consisted of an annoyed sigh, followed by a sharp bark of:
"Oh my goodness, Skeppy! Stop asking me this!"
Maybe he was a little bit of a sadist, a little bit of a bad person. Or maybe he – completely innocently - liked how easy it was to fuck with Bad, who knows.
"Neverrr." Skeppy smiled sweetly (even though the other couldn't see him), leaned back in his chair and admired his work. During another fairly chill, dono-answering stream, Bad's chat suddenly shifted to a spammy mess by the hectic little crackheads with an attention span of a worm (aka - their fanbase), repeating the same question the other grew to despise:
‘WHEN ARE YOU MEETING UP WITH SKEPPY?’
Such a loyal fanbase they both had. Just a bunch of bullies, chirping loudly whatever and whenever Skeppy wanted, like he was their mom bird…
That's one weird ass way to put it, actually.
(Maybe he should rethink the whole writing a letter thing – there was no way he’d get more insane than that, after all.)
Truth be told, it was just funny. Skeppy wanted that damn meet up, true, but he didn't know what he'd do with himself once it happened. For what would he bully his best friend at 3AM? What would he repeat until exhaustion? And the best part was the smirk that Bad hid so well every time the same old insanity occurred and thought Skeppy didn’t know about, couldn’t hear in his voice, and the laughter he didn't bother controlling when they talked in private after.
This, and the fact that they were friends in the first place, and his hot wings addiction, were the proof Skeppy needed to theorize that his best friend was actually a hardcore masochist.
He took another bite of his noodles.
Such a peculiar duo they were.
The usual banter went back and forth, both of their antics well known to everyone. Some “I'll grief your server if you don't meet up with me”, some “Don't you dare, or I'll never meet up with you”, some nonsense or other. At this point in their friendship, when the cameras were rolling, slipping into this constantly arguing roles they’ve assigned to each other felt natural. Good thing it was all a joke, all part of the script, and nothing crazy would happen after.
"Skeppy."
Skeppy raised a brow. The sudden calmness wasn't planned. The gentleness in the middle of an ‘argument’ too. That had never happened before.
"I'll meet up with you by the end of the week…"
Because all good jokes needed a punchline.
"Only if you get me roses."
Skeppy sat there, staring dumbfoundedly at his monitors, noodles halfway to his mouth. What answer is one supposed to give to that?
“Roses? Are you serious?”
The group of bullies changed their direction – now the chat was full of ‘you first need to ask a person out before taking them on a date skep’, and ‘youre a shitty boyfriend sekppy man get your guy some flowers’, and other bullshit along these lines. Skeppy rolled his eyes so hard he didn’t know how we didn’t stab his cheek with his fork.
Idiots, all of them.
“Yes, a nice big bouquet. Red roses. Then I’ll come and meet up with you.”
Skeppy put his bowl on the table and locked his fingers under his chin. The biggest problem with being a content creator was that he couldn’t just reach through the monitor, turn off Bad’s stream, and ask ‘hey homie the fuck I’m supposed to say now’ every time something they didn’t plan happened. On one hand, if he played along with it, the diehard skephaloers would reappear in his Twitter feed faster than light, as well as jokes about old married couples, bantering near divorce parents or stupidly in love idiots, yada yada – oh, he’d seen them all, but trying to remember them now would give him a stroke. On the other, if he didn’t play his part, well…
A sigh came from the other side, so obviously exaggerated it felt like a sitcom. “I knew it. You never actually wanted to meet up with me."
That borderline sweet tone, the way a little “mmm” of satisfaction when he saw the horde changing yet again, the deafening silence, demanding answers… Skeppy could just hear the way his best friend was smirking.
Teasing bastard.
Skeppy couldn't control the smile on his face. He was beginning to get the vibes of this whole thing, as well as how, um, entertained their fans would be for a while. The chat going at a million miles per hour, he answered at last:
"Oh, roses. That's easy. And it's on."
~
He really didn't know what to think after that. Going over it, that would make some hell of a content. Too bad Skeppy didn't feel like recording the first time he'd meet his best friend, let alone if he had a fucking bouquet in his hands. And what was there to say to someone who not only had to feel embarrassed for getting picked up by a guy shoving a camera in his face, but also with a marry-me-PLEASE-PLEASE huge bouquet in his hands?
That would be extremely awkward.
But to get the elephant out of the room or whatever - was that a joke? Was Bad really ready to meet up with him, or was that another one of those I-don't-know-if-I'm-joking-so-I'll-act-like-nothing-happened that he loved to pull? So much for knowing each other for years. Skeppy still struggled to pinpoint when to take anything that Bad had said seriously and when to pass it as a joke. That guy was so difficult to understand sometimes it was actually impressive.
Skeppy was still fighting tooth and nail with himself every day to admit how much of a troll his best friend was. He was fighting even harder with the fact that Bad surpassed him, had been the funnier, memeier one long before they’d met, whose jokes sometimes flew under the radar for years and years (just look at his last name fiasco and how no one had questioned it yet).
"Well," Skeppy broke the silence, "that was something."
A confused ‘hmm?’ came from the other side, instead of an answer.
"A bouquet of roses? Really?"
A proud ‘mmhmmm’, followed by swallowing and the sound of putting a glass down. "What can I say? I'm a genius. Natural born talent."
"’Course you are." Skeppy smirked. "But did you really mean it? That you'd want to meet up?"
Silence followed, occasionally broken by the quiet sounds of Rat barking in the background. Not that strange. It was kinda like a natural state of Bad – whenever he had to let down a person, he went awfully quiet, collecting his thoughts. While at it, Skeppy got his phone and looked for nice flower shops nearby, as a what if. If he were going to buy flowers, damn it if he doesn't get the prettiest.
"Would you buy me flowers? If I asked for flowers, if it wasn't a part of a joke, would you do it?"
"I already bought you enough pizzas to feed a small town."
"That's why I said if 'it's not a joke'."
Skeppy bookmarked three shops. "I think I've spent enough money for you to know that I'd buy you whatever you like."
A small pause followed. "If you flirt with girls like that, you'd have at least ten, you know that?"
"Pff, ha-ha, you’re so funny. You're not some random girl I want to take out, dude. You're my bro. If you want flowers, I'll give you flowers, no strings attached, alright?"
Another silence. The fifth flower shop Skeppy saw made big custom orders the same day they were placed. He left himself a note and closed it, patiently waiting for an answer.
What was with this guy today? This was definitely another joke, ‘oh, I just remembered I have to water my roof, sorry Zak, maybe another time’, after which he'd go insane. But now was the time in which Bad usually admitted that he was simply messing around, “keeping the fanservice going” or whatever, and yet not even a sound came from Skeppy's headphones.
"Darryl?"
"How does Friday sound to you?"
Hold on. Hold the fucking phone. Hold it in both hands and caress it gently with a finger. Or throw it in a bath full of water.
"What?"
"Well, you wanna meet up, right? And if you're really buying me flowers, how can I not show up?"
"Is… I… What?" Stumbling over his words, Skeppy massaged his temples. "So, it's that easy to convince you to meet up - I just had to give you roses?"
"I like roses…" Bad trailed off, usually indicating that the conversation was stopping there.
Slumping back in his chair, Skeppy exhaled loudly. Go figure out what Bad wanted, like, ever.
"Friday sounds nice." He replied at last, the confusion making his brain short circuit. "Driving now is not strongly advised. Have you heard about it? That it's gonna get really hot?"
After another silence, Skeppy grew weary. Here's the bait, after which the joke will crack. ‘Oh, I wasn't that keen on coming anyway…’
"I was planning to take a plane anyway."
Skeppy shot up in his chair. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ahh, so that's the plan. Bad is probably recording this whole thing, ready to make fun of how easy it was for Skeppy to trust him. Ha-ha, get pranked, fuck you, or whatever. Bad would never take a plane, even if the whole planet flooded and there were no highways left. It was all a gag for a video, that's it.
But he'd never do that. He already said he's stopping the stream. His behavior is not the same. He called you by your name and you called him by his. He'd never ever do that on camera, no matter what.
If there was something that Skeppy was a hundred percent sure of about his best friend, that was how much he loved his privacy and routine. So, everything said now was probably, somehow, deadass, just as real as the Sun, or photosynthesis, or the perpendicularity of the surreptitious. Or something.
"Okay" Skeppy controlled the will to question that decision. "Okay. No problem. Yes. Come. Please. You’re welcome here. Always."
He felt the please leave his lips far too late. Even before he could kick himself internally – don’t make him feel bad just so he can come - Bad's soft voice echoed in his mind.
"I won't lie to you this time, Zak."
He smiled, his suspicions making it difficult. Something strange was nibbling at his consciousness, but he pushed it down just for now.
"I know you won't."