Work Text:
An old Latin dictionary weighed heavily on his left hand, opened by the section of the letter ‘R’. The ink on the words was lightly blurred and the pages were yellowish and practically falling apart, which reminded him to notify the headmaster about the wretched state of the classic language equipment for the school to buy newer ones.
Brows furrowed, he directed his gaze back to the chalkboard, his train of thoughts having distracted him for an instant. Then it went to his wristwatch and back to the board. 10:54. There was no way he’d finish translating this in six minutes, so he’d have to resume the task the next day. With finals approaching, he had set his mind on making the best of the little time they had left to complete the first-term syllabus, but there always seemed to be an interruption that made his classes go slower.
His eyes travelled to said interruption with the deadliest glare he could conjure. Eren Yaeger and his friends were giggling under their breath, passing notes and doodling nonsense on each other’s notebooks. No matter how many times he’d told the group to separate, they always found a way to keep bothering him, even if they had to throw their stupid little notes from across the classroom to one another.
It always ended with him getting angry and stopping the class to tell them to shut up. The first time they lowered their heads, embarrassed about being yelled at and mumbling their sorries, he even felt a tinge of satisfaction. But he found out later on that their apologies meant nothing, since five minutes later they were back at disrupting his class again.
So here he was, with no more than a couple of weeks left to teach them how to translate a Latin subordinate clause, and he’d barely even started with the relative ones.
‘‘Yaeger!’’ He called out to him, arms crossed over his chest. The boy’s head shot up, his hands quick to hide the notebook full of scrabbles that lay on his desk ‘‘This is the fifth time I’ve had to scold you for talking.’’
Eren lowered his head ‘‘I’m sorry, Mr Ackerman.’’
‘‘Let it be the last.’’
He knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t be.
Levi didn’t know why the students insisted on calling him by his surname, let alone putting the honorific first. He knew there were places in the world where it was customary for students to refer to their teachers like that, but it wasn’t common where he lived. He’d been working in Paradis Boarding School for a few years now, and he hadn’t heard of any other teacher who was called by their last name— Save for Erwin, the headmaster, but he wasn’t a teacher and thus didn’t count. Perhaps it was because he had a habit of calling the students by their last names, too. Not that he would’ve minded if they called him by his first name, as long as they respected him.
Which Eren Yaeger and his friends clearly didn’t, because not even two minutes later the insufferable sound of their childish giggling filled his ears again, though now muffled by their hands.
When he looked back at them, Levi found the boy sitting in front of the brunet, Jean Kirstein, turning around as he tried to get his notebook back from Eren’s hands.
Levi walked up to them swiftly enough for them not to have time to hide the notebook before he got to their desk. Said notebook was supposed to contain class notes and the translation he’d been working on, but it was instead filled with what seemed to be very poorly drawn phallic figures. With a scowl on his face, he looked at the two boys, who had the expression of a deer caught in the headlights. He didn’t pity them at all.
‘‘No wonder you’re failing art class. Your drawing skills leave much to be desired.’’ In front of Jean, Sasha Blouse and Connie Springer gasped exaggeratedly in unison. The rest of the class laughed in the background ‘‘Don’t give me that face, Yaeger. It's not illegal for teachers to discuss their students’ grades with each other.’’
From the corner of his eye, he saw Mikasa Ackerman (his cousin from his mom's side, but it was merely a coincidence that he happened to teach at her school) leaning towards Eren and whispering something along the lines of ‘the biology teacher’ and how discussing grades was ‘the last thing they do when they're together’.
Levi simply pretended he hadn’t heard her, his ears turning red at the implication.
The bell rang and students hurried to pack their things into their backpacks, a burst of chatter breaking the well-appreciated (by him, at least) bubble of silence his reprimand to Eren and Jean had caused. Levi turned around, not bothering to say anything besides reminding his students to bring their own dictionaries to the next class and humming to acknowledge the high schoolers that waved their goodbyes at him, leaving by groups until none were left.
Quiet at last, he was reaching into his bag to retrieve his lunch when the door burst open again. The sound was followed by a resonant laugh that could only mean that the frown he displayed on his face was more apparent than he’d planned it to be.
Ah. Speak of the devil.
‘‘Just walked past Eren and his friends. What on Earth did you say to them to make them fuss so badly?’’
Hange Zoë had been working at that school for a while when he was hired and she was the first thing he’d taken notice of. It was hard not to, with her extravagant demeanour, wild gesticulation, and that characteristic ‘crazy scientist’ look. Back then, two years ago —Or was it three?—, she’d shaken his hand enthusiastically and excitedly yelled something about being appreciative towards Greek and Latin since most of the terminology used in the science field came from it.
She was a biology teacher, and a very good one at that, despite her quirks and all. Levi often told her he thought she should further her studies and get a doctorate so that she could work in research, but Hange had fallen in love with teaching and there was no way she could ever leave it behind. She said that what she enjoyed the most was making her students love biology since, in her eyes, it only took the right teacher to make them passionate about a subject, as boring as they might’ve deemed it to be. Levi had to admit he was jealous of her devotion to the job. Since there weren’t many offers in the labour market apart from teaching when it came to his classic languages degree, it was the only employment he could’ve taken after finishing it and, although he didn’t completely hate it, being surrounded by high schoolers who pestered and irritated him six hours a day was frankly exhausting.
‘‘Nothing they didn’t need to hear.’’ Hange walked towards his desk, messenger bag hanging across her chest, and sat on top of the table in a motion that almost knocked his lunchbox off. Levi glowered at her from where he sat ‘‘Careful there, four eyes.’’
‘‘For someone who spends all day complaining about how immature his students are, you sure do give your friends equally immature nicknames.’’ Hange sneered as she moved to take her own lunchbox out of the messenger bag.
‘‘Fuck off.’’
‘‘Did I struck a nerve? Sorry, forgot I’m your only friend for a second.’’
Levi rolled his eyes at her use of sarcasm, but she was right. Hange was, along with Erwin, the only person he could bear to be around for a prolonged period of time. However, he didn't feel sad about it. It was better this way: Putting up with Hange was enough trouble for him already. He got along with his other coworkers, of course, but it was a relationship of mere cordiality.
From the moment he started working there, it had become a habit for Hange to come into his classroom every day to have lunch with him when the bell that marked lunch break rang. At first, he told her off almost instantly —He liked silence when eating and her disrupting it meant ruining his limited half an hour of peace and quiet— after she’d first approached him with a list full of scientific plant names and the intention of asking him about their etymology.
He’d come off as rude and straight-up told her to leave him alone, which was what seemed to draw people away and make them dislike him upon a first impression. Regardless, she persisted and, once he had answered everything she had in mind, she just kept coming day after day with a new question until there were none left and she came simply because she seemed to enjoy chatting with him— Or rather bugging him. Nowadays, he’d grown to mind her loud steps less as she approached his homeroom every day at eleven in the morning.
‘‘Shut up.’’
She didn’t. As she rambled about a funny joke some student had made about the shape of a particular cell drawing in the biology book, his mind trailed off to Mikasa’s comment, whatever that had meant.
Levi was tempted to bring it up, laugh about it with her, sneering at the minds of hormonal teenagers who saw romance where it didn’t exist. But he didn’t. Instead, he let her go on about that joke, which wasn’t that funny at all, and wondered where the hell his cousin had seen any hint of a romantic relationship between him and the biology teacher.
He was overthinking things, he concluded. Perhaps he hadn’t heard right, perhaps Mikasa had meant something else. Sighing, he propped his chin on his palm and focused on whatever Hange had to say.
He wasn’t overthinking things.
Levi was familiar with the students’ gossiping. When Mike and Nanaba had started dating, chatter about how cute they were together filled the classrooms and even he’d been victim to some interrogations regarding the nature of their relationship, which had caused Sasha and Connie —The perpetrators— to get expelled from his class. Although they had admittedly done an impressive job of hiding it, those monothematic minds seemed to catch on pretty quickly. So it didn’t surprise him when, although they weren’t dating like Mike and Nanaba, students started talking about him and Hange.
Well, maybe it did surprise him a little. From what he’d overheard, those rumours had been running around ever since he was hired, but he’d only heard of them now. Levi reckoned it might be because that group of teenagers (a pain in his ass) who responded to the name of ‘Eren and company’ were less discreet than his previous students had been. Much less discreet.
After that comment from Mikasa that he’d managed to catch, he started hearing it more often. It didn’t interfere with his everyday life, but at least once a week he’d hear a giggle coming from down the hallway when he stopped on his way to class to chat with Hange or catch a sly remark when students exited the classroom and saw her walking in. One time, Hange barged into his classroom in the middle of a lesson to borrow some chalk, and even the most mundane interaction had them snickering under their breaths.
He tried to ignore it for as long as he could, he really did. But towards the end of the first term and right before Christmas break, he found he couldn’t do it anymore when he mentioned Hange for whatever trivial matter in class and found Historia and Ymir exchanging glances with a smug smirk drawn on their faces.
Later that day, Levi visited Hange’s lab, which was where she did her classes, intending to inform her of those rumours. It was becoming too unprofessional for them to not talk about it, as much as the idea of doing so embarrassed him. But she would have noticed as well, right? Then again, it’d be in character for Hange to bring it up to tease him over it, which she hadn’t done so far. Either way, he needed to let her know, in case she didn’t already.
He entered the empty lab and saw Hange hurrying to fit her things into her bag, hair messily tied up into a ponytail, as always. He fought, not for the first time, the urge to readjust it.
‘‘Ah! Levi!’’ She greeted him with a smile that contrasted her otherwise stressed expression ‘‘Did you want something? I’m in a rush, so—’’
‘‘A rush?’’ Levi quirked his eyebrow.
‘‘Yeah, yeah, the biology department has a meeting and I… Shit, I’m already late. I got carried away during class, I should’ve ended it on time.’’
‘‘Well, get going then.’’
‘‘On my way!’’ Hange ran towards the door, only turning around when she’d reached the doorframe, a few strands of hairs falling from her updo at the sudden movement ‘‘Oh, hold on. What was it that you wanted?’’
He shook his head ‘‘It can wait. Go.’’
Not needing him to tell her twice, Hange spun on her heels and left him alone in the lab.
Levi looked at his shoes, hands in the pockets of his coat. Another day, then.
Christmas break came and he found himself mulling over it in the quiet of his home.
By the time those comments had started to get on his nerves, finals were nearing and he was too busy preparing them and reviewing the already taught syllabus to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything, so he had no time to give it any in-depth thought.
Now, with those exams corrected and neatly piled up in a stack of papers over his desk, Levi’s mind came back to the topic as he swept the floors of his flat.
He and Hange. Together.
The idea had seemed far too strange to him at the beginning, but now that he thought of it, it made sense that his students would think that, in a way. She was the only person he ever spent time with, while the rest of the faculty usually ate their lunch at the canteen, divided into groups. Even Mike and Nanaba spent their breaks with Erwin and a few other teachers.
Levi would’ve never said it out loud, but his relationship with Hange was also admittedly very different from the ones he had with other people, including Erwin and the few friends he had outside work. He allowed her way more than he’d normally do with any other person before he cut them off, but even if he considered Hange a nuisance (at least in the beginning), the thought of doing so made his insides churn uncomfortably.
So yes, maybe his relationship with her was a little out of the ordinary, at least by ‘Levi standards’, but that was just because Hange was… Well, Hange, and she never took no for an answer. However, their students didn’t know the reasoning behind why their friendship worked the way it did, so as much as he hated to admit it, it was plausible that they’d have their suspicions.
A ring interrupted his inner monologue.
After setting the broom aside and reaching towards the phone, Levi raised his brows at the name that was displayed on the screen. As he swiped over the ‘answer’ button, his mind went back to the last conversation they’d had, that day at the lab where she’d been in too much of a rush to talk to him. Christmas break was about to start then and Levi hadn’t had any other opportunity to talk to her before the term ended. When she called him, they were six days into the vacation and Christmas had already passed (which would’ve explained why she hadn’t called before —Not that he was eager to hear from her—, since she probably would’ve been busy as of late) and they were nearing the end of the year.
‘‘Hello?’’
‘‘Levi!’’ Hange’s voice sounded as cheerful as usual ‘‘How’s your winter break going?’’
‘‘It’s been alright, I guess.’’ He shrugged, though she couldn’t see him ‘‘My mother invited her sister’s family, Mikasa’s parents, over this year.’’
‘‘Was it awkward? Y’know, with her being your student and all.’’
‘‘No, not really. We already had a relationship before I began teaching her. It’s more awkward in class, if anything.’’ Levi moved to sit on the couch as he continued ‘‘I also got to hint at her relationship with Yeager in front of her parents, which was more interesting.’’
‘‘You’re so mean!’’ Hange laughed wholeheartedly. He pictured her throwing her head back as she did on the other end of the line ‘‘Poor kid. She’s done nothing to you.’’
‘‘She’s a brat.’’
‘‘Please, Levi. She’s a mini you.’’
Levi scoffed, offended ‘‘What? No. Not at all. Have you been eating those mushrooms from the jars in the biology lab?’’
“Just so you know, if I ever ingested those I’d be dead in less than twenty-four hours.’’
‘‘Let’s just hope you don’t get them mixed up with your usual hallucinogens then.’’
‘‘I don’t do drugs!’’ She exclaimed and it sounded a little bit like she was pouting ‘‘Anyway, that wasn’t what I called you about. We still haven’t met up outside school grounds since the break started!’’
‘‘It was Christmas.’’
‘‘Precisely,’’ He could hear the grin on her lips ‘‘That’s why I wanted to see you! I still have presents to give.’’
Levi’s eyebrows shot up, disconcerted ‘‘... A present? You bought me a present?’’
‘‘Well, yeah, that’s why I wanted to—’’
‘‘You’ve never done that before.’’
‘‘I mean… You have to start somewhere, right? Besides, I wasn’t planning on it. I just saw this thing just in time for Christmas and thought of you, so I bought it.’’
For some reason, the idea that there were things that reminded Hange of him made him feel warm despite the cold winter air.
‘‘Alright. I suppose I ought to buy you a gift too, then.’’
‘‘Oh, there’s no need! I wasn’t expecting anything in return, just—’’
Levi’s ears shut out whatever she said next. Car keys already in his hand, he put his shoes on and made his way to the door.
They’d agreed to meet up two days before New Year’s Eve at a cosy cafe near Hange’s flat. He’d been there before —Both Hange’s place and the coffee shop—, but it had always been with their other coworkers, never with her alone.
The cafe was pleasant. It was small, but the light and the decoration radiated comfort. It was also clean and the employees were remarkably polite, which was what Levi appreciated the most. The entry was placed beside a pair of big window panes that presented the view of the snowed square in front of the shop, the people passing by, the children playing near the fountain. Levi had been staring at the glass for a few minutes when he saw a familiar face walking in quick steps towards the door that led to the inside of the shop. With her characteristically messy hair, thick wool sweater, fogged glasses and the same messenger bag she took to work, Hange panted as she made her way to the cafe.
A ‘cling’ announced her entrance. He watched as she looked around, her eyes searching for him. And then, when they did, a large grin appeared on her lips as she waved and approached him, sitting on the chair at the opposite end of the table.
‘‘I’m so, so sorry’’ Hange said, out of breath ‘‘Am I too late?’’
‘‘Only by a few minutes. It’s alright.’’
Levi took in her appearance. Since it had been snowing outside, some bits of snow had stuck to her hair and eyelashes. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from the running, and her lips were apart as she tried to catch her breath. The tip of her nose was red from the cold.
He paused to tune in to whatever Hange was saying. For a moment, he’d stopped listening.
‘‘... behaving badly and even started scratching my leg. Can you believe it? Those little bastards, how come they’re always hungry?’’
Levi could tell by the way she spoke that something involving her cats, Sawney and Bean, had caused her to be late. He hadn’t missed much, then.
‘‘So I had to refill their bowls, of course, just so that they’d leave me alone.’’ Hange went on, sighing afterwards ‘‘Speaking of food, what do you want to order?’’
‘‘I’ll have a bottle of water.’’
She punched his arm lightly ‘‘Oh, come on, it’s Christmas! Order something appropriate!’’
‘‘It’s appropriate. I’m thirsty.’’
‘‘I meant something more Christmas-like! Maybe hot chocolate? Some marzipan?’’
Levi rolled his eyes, having forgotten that Hange seemed to have an obsession with festivities, let alone the occasion, and always found a reason to celebrate. Sometimes, she matched her clothes with the date, like when she’d dress in all green on Saint Patrick’s Day or wore hideous heart-patterned jumpers for Valentine’s Day. He thought it was ridiculous, but at least he enjoyed sneering at her for those outrageous outfits.
‘‘Fine. I’ll have a cup of black tea and one of those gingerbread cookies from the window display. But you’re paying.’’
To this, Hange beamed enthusiastically.
‘‘Fine by me!’’
Levi couldn’t stop his eyes from following her as she ran to the counter. He couldn’t hear her from where he was, but he guessed she’d asked the bartender about recommendations as the girl pointed at their menu and Hange listened, thoughtfully. Eventually, her eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, which he assumed meant she’d found something she liked. To his credit, the thought of how strange it was that his skin seemed to tingle any time she smiled only lingered for a moment.
Hange was walking towards their table with a red tray in her hands before he realised he’d been staring. Cursing himself, he looked at his hands, which were folded over his lap, as she placed the tray on their table and sat back down.
‘‘I hope your tea tastes good,’’ She raised the snowman-shaped pastry she’d bought for herself to her mouth. Her tone was of mock refinement ‘‘I asked her to pour me their finest and most expensive one.’’
‘‘They only sell one type of tea here.’’ Levi deadpanned. Hange faked an offended gasp, her hand hovering over her mouth parodically.
‘‘You accuse me of being a scammer? You’re shameless, Levi Ackerman’’
He clicked his tongue and brought the teacup closer to his lips, relishing the steam that emanated from the liquid as he drank it down. It was good, he’d give her that, but you can hardly mess up the recipe to tea. He’d seen Hange do it before, but she was the sole exception. Her cooking skills were so atrocious he sometimes wondered if she did it on purpose, because there was no way someone could fail so terribly at the simplest of things, let alone a genius like her.
Well, she did always find new ways to surprise him.
‘‘You seem to be enjoying your drink.’’ Hange commented, chuckling after she finished eating (or rather devouring) her pastry.
He set the cup back on the tray ‘‘It’s alright.’’
A moment of comfortable silence flew by as faint music filled the shop, Hange occupied with her hot chocolate and Levi simply watching her as she made a mess of her face, staining the corners of her lips and her chin with it as she smiled delightfully, oblivious to the filthiness around her mouth. There was something so childish about the sight that, if it was any other person, he would’ve simply told them to stop being immature and clean their faces off.
But she was Hange. So, instead, he grabbed a napkin and extended his arm, reaching out to wipe the excess chocolate away from her face before he even acknowledged what he was doing. It had come to him so naturally that it caught him off guard when he folded the stained napkin and set it aside, realising what had just happened.
Hange blinked at him, perplexed, and giggled nervously, placing the back of her hand over her mouth as she looked away. In this light, Levi thought, she almost looked like she was blushing. Almost.
‘‘Ah! I forgot what I came here for.’’ She quickly changed the topic, turning her back to him as she grabbed her bag ‘‘The gift!’’
Oh, right. He’d forgotten about it as well. He watched as Hange placed a poorly wrapped-up present in front of him, pushing the tray aside in the process of doing so to make space for it. He analysed the packaging: It wasn’t too big, around the size of his hand horizontally and a tad larger vertically. The gift paper was patterned with little stars and there was a red bow stuck to it that didn’t match the paper at all.
‘‘What are you waiting for? Open it!’’ Hange urged him, nearly jumping out of her seat. Truth be told, he didn’t trust her gift-picking abilities that much, based on her previous history (like the time she bought an ‘eyebrow care kit’ for Erwin’s birthday), so he didn’t have too much hope about this one.
Levi unwrapped the gift in silence, as careful as his fingers would let him —Both to avoid making a mess and to spite her—, until a white box was revealed to him. After he opened it, he reached inside, his fingertips recognising the touch of hard plastic.
Hange had gifted him a tea bag dispenser in the shape of a little house. It had a red roof, white walls and a round window on the front. It was hollow inside and there was an opening in the shape of a door on the bottom of it. She had filled it with black tea bags of his favourite brand, which were poking out said opening and the roof was detachable, as she explained while he unwrapped it, so he’d only have to hold it up to refill the dispenser.
He turned it around between his hands, examining it under Hange’s attentive gaze.
It was a stupid gift, a trivial object of decoration. He already had a tea box to keep his tea bags organised, so it was of no use, really, just a silly product made to appeal to nonsense item lovers like Hange, who wasted money on every single thing she deemed ‘cute’.
He should’ve disliked it. He would’ve done so in any other circumstance. If he were to walk past it while shopping, he’d roll his eyes at how easily people fall for marketing tactics designed to convince you to buy useless things like these and move past it without a second thought.
And yet he still allowed the ends of his lips to curve up.
It was stupid, yes, but it was thoughtful. The silliness of it made him chuckle, but he hadn’t failed to notice how Hange had taken note of his favourite tea brand. He met her eyes, which were still staring at him with utmost attention, and even as his lips went back to the thin line they usually were, she knew him well enough to read the gratefulness in his gaze.
The biggest grin he’d ever seen from her materialised on her face after she’d caught the message. An uncomfortable feeling pressed on his ribs at the sight.
‘‘You like it!’’ It wasn’t a question, but Levi nodded regardless. He cleared his throat and reached towards his own bag.
‘‘My turn.’’
‘‘I told you you didn’t have to, you know.’’
Levi didn’t respond. He placed a plain paper bag on top of the table and slid it over it in her direction. Despite how adamant she’d been on him not needing to buy her anything for Christmas, she looked like a little kid, brimming with excitement, as her fingers fumbled over the tape that held the top of the bag together.
Her eyes widened as she pulled out a white tote bag with a salamander’s skeleton anatomy illustration on it, along with a matching steel bottle with the same design.
‘‘You always complain about your bag being too old and always steal water from my bottle, so I—’’
The sudden feeling of Hange’s arms wrapping around him cut him off.
‘‘I love it!’’ She was leaning from the other side of the table in a way that must surely have been uncomfortable, but if it was, it didn’t show on her face ‘‘You’re the best!’’
‘‘Don’t be so happy,’’ Levi grunted as he pushed her away, back into her seat. The position was uncomfortable for him as well, as she’d brought him forward with her embrace ‘‘I bought the first thing I found.’’
Except that he hadn’t. Levi had spent much more time than he’d like to admit inside that shop near the school Hange had told him about once, since she seemed to like it. It was yet another one of those shops that only sell cute yet useless stuff, like that house-shaped tea dispenser. As much as he knew she’d like anything he got her, since she’d be okay with anything (it’s the thought that matters, as she’d always say), he wanted to find the perfect gift, something that she needed and that matched her personality at the same time.
Now, as he watched her grin at him with the bag and the bottle in her hands, he was certain all of the time he’d spent picking it had been worth it.
After Christmas break ended, Hange began wearing that bag to work every day. Although he never told her, satisfaction rushed through him any time he saw her walk by with his gift hanging on her shoulder.
That day, after they exchanged their presents, they had fallen into idle conversation, talking about trivial matters like how ugly the postcard Erwin had sent them and the rest of the faculty was. In the end, Levi had forgotten to bring up the topic of their students’ whispering campaign about them and slapped himself mentally as he remembered on his way back home. After they went back to work, he kept delaying the conversation every time she set foot in his classroom, as it never seemed like the right time to bring it up.
But two weeks after the second term started the comments had come to be so frequent it became too much to handle, so he decided that he’d had enough. He needed to put an end to this.
Since Hange got along with the kids better than he did, they’d obey more if it was her who gave them the order. Those bastards seemed to like playing with his head (although he wasn’t sure if they did it on purpose or not), so he’d make her do it. Yes, that would do.
She looked exceptionally happy that day as she walked into his classroom, at eleven o’clock like always, twirling around and happily flaunting her tote bag. She plopped down on the chair, pulling out a sandwich from her bag.
‘‘You look content.’’ Levi commented as if to inquire the reason why.
‘‘I am!’’ Hange exclaimed, gesticulating dramatically ‘‘The latest test’s results have been great! Ah, I’m so glad. Who knew a bunch of teenagers could be so interested in biomolecules!’’
‘‘Really?’’ He scoffed as he opened a thermos flask filled with tea ‘‘It shocks me their simple-minded heads have time for anything other than gossiping.’’
Hange looked confused ‘‘What do you mean?’’
He’d spoken without thinking, which was rare of him. It didn’t matter— He’d been meaning to talk about it with her anyway.
‘‘I mean that…’’ Levi pressed his lips into a thin line, unsure of how to continue. He looked away, considering his next words ‘‘You really haven’t realised?’’
‘‘Realise what?’’
‘‘How those little fuckers talk about you and me?’’
The room was engulfed in silence. Hange blinked at him, seemingly lost, but his eyes were glued to whatever spot on the wall he could focus on.
‘‘How do they talk about you and me?’’
He sighed. How could she have not taken notice of it? ‘‘Well, there’s this rumour going around among the kids that you and I are, well, seeing each other.’’
‘‘As in… A couple?’’
‘‘Yes, four eyes, what else could it be?’’
Levi dared to look at her again. Her mouth hung open with the same expression she made any time she thought very hard about something, little gears moving inside her head.
‘‘... Why?’’
‘‘Fuck if I know. I guess it’s because you’re the only person I mildly tolerate, which they seem to have noticed.’’
Hange’s mouth fell shut. On her cheekbones, a red hue surfaced. This time, he was certain she was blushing.
Seeing as she didn’t respond, he went on ‘‘I need you to talk to them. It disrupts my classes and annoys the hell out of me.’’
She finally reacted, snapping out of her trance as she straightened herself.
‘‘Ah— Of course! Don’t worry, I’ve got this!’’ Hange gave him a thumbs up, but she sounded… Nervous? Levi couldn’t quite tell.
He hummed to express his thanks and brought up another topic to save them both from any further embarrassment, something about how the grades in his class had improved as well. The colour on Hange’s cheeks took a while to disappear.
Levi had assumed that once he’d told her, he’d stop having the current events in mind. But he didn’t.
When he closed his eyes, he saw Hange’s disconcerted, blushing face over and over again while he explained the situation. Later that afternoon, he’d find himself deep-cleaning his house (although that was usually reserved for Sundays) in an attempt to take his mind off it— Occupying himself with something always seemed to help. However, he deemed his efforts to be useless: He’d been thinking about it the whole time he’d spent cleaning.
So, as he stood among polished floors and shiny windows, it occurred to him that perhaps a warm cup of tea would help.
And it had been working so far, until his eyes found the dispenser Hange had gifted him for Christmas sitting on top of the kitchen island. He sighed and took a tea bag out of it. Defeated, he let his mind trail back to the topic at hand.
He thought about what that entailed, the idea of them dating.
Levi scoffed out loud.
A relationship with Hange, who annoyed the hell out of him sometimes, who was obnoxious and loud, who seemed to make it her mission to get on his nerves and always succeeded. Who played pranks on him far too often, who always made him pay for her coffee at the canteen, whose vociferating was so loud he heard it every time he walked by the hall where her lab was located, even if he was on the opposite side of it. It was strident and it gave him a headache.
Then again, he let her close to him. Out of the entire faculty, she was the person who knew him the most and, in spite of his bluntness and asperity, she’d taken the time to spend all of her lunch breaks with him. He was unaware of the reason why she enjoyed being with him when she was a well-liked person and all of their coworkers would surely rather have her in the canteen with them. Regardless, she stayed with him— Grumpy, straightforward asshole that he was.
Sighing as he held the kettle in his hands and poured water into a cup, it occurred to him that he ought to be grateful for that.
He was.
Levi chuckled at the thought of how different his lunch breaks would be if Hange decided to comply with their coworkers’ wishes. No more food from his lunchbox stolen, no more blathering about biology, no more laughter in response to his complaints about Jean always writing ‘direct object’ under an accusative noun preceded by a preposition, although she never got to understand what that meant.
He appreciated her presence more than he’d ever let her know. He didn’t know whether she was aware of it, but she’d made his life significantly more interesting, with her strange sense of humour and deep-rooted obsession with her field of knowledge.
Teacup in his hands, a glimpse of her excited smile as she clasped her hands together and went on about how she was looking forward to the upcoming dissection of frogs next term flashed in his mind. He’d miss it, he thought.
And how her messy hair bobbed when she walked in quick steps to catch up with him when she saw him strolling down the hallway, or every time she abruptly stood up and exclaimed victoriously that she’d won at the end of each term when they compared the average final grade of their respective classes and he couldn’t bring himself to be mad.
Or her hands, how warm they felt against him when she passed something to him if their fingers brushed against the other’s. Or how she’d laugh after that— A laugh different than her usual roaring ones, quiet and velvet-like.
Or how he’d steal glances in her direction from time to time, when she was distracted, the tip of her pen trapped between her lips as she corrected exams.
Or the beat of his heart, how it would race inexplicably any time she caught him looking.
He slowly set the teacup on the counter to let it cool down.
Oh.
Right.
He did have feelings for Hange.
‘‘Levi.’’
Erwin’s voice sounded grave, low-pitched as his eyes went over the paper he was holding. From where he sat, the blond man looked intimidating, a look suitable for a headmaster. With his back straight, Levi stared directly at him.
‘‘Erwin.’’
He pursed his lips together, as if he hadn’t read the document over three times already ‘‘It says here that you… Desire to quit your job?’’
‘‘Yes.’’
Erwin looked up and held his gaze for a minute, solemn and stern. Then, he pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut as a sigh escaped his lips.
‘‘Levi, we’ve just gone back to work. It’s only been two weeks since the second term started. What on Earth happened during this time that made you change your mind?’’
‘‘Nothing happened. I just loathe working with teenagers, you know that.’’
‘‘First of all, you don’t loathe it. They may piss you off, but I know you appreciate those kids.’’ Levi parted his lips to retort, but his next words cut him off ‘‘And second of all, even if that was the case, why now? Couldn’t it wait until the school year ended?’’
‘‘No.’’
‘‘Why?’’
‘‘I just can’t stand them.’’
Another instant in which Erwin held his gaze passed before he buried his head in his hands, sighing exasperatedly.
‘‘Levi, just tell me the truth.’’
‘‘That is the truth.’’
‘‘You’re…’’ His words sounded muffled ‘‘So full of shit. ’’
‘‘That’s no way to talk to your employees, you know.’’
Erwin raised his head for the sole purpose of glaring at him. He might’ve just reached forward and strangled Levi with his own hands.
‘‘If you quit, where will you work next?’’
‘‘I’ll find something to do.’’
Another exasperated sigh from the headmaster. Levi spoke before he could protest any further.
‘‘You can’t stop me from quitting, Erwin.’’ He persisted ‘‘So let’s just arrange the paperwork, do one of those manly handshakes you like so much and bid our goodbyes.’’
‘‘As your boss, no, I can’t stop you. But as your friend,’’ He briefly paused and set the resignment letter on the desk ‘‘I won’t allow you to leave until you tell me the reason why.’’
‘‘I already—’’
‘‘The real reason, Levi.’’
His lips closed shut as he pondered the status quo. If he told him the truth, perhaps he’d finally understand and let him quit in peace. He’d tease him over it, sure, but at least he’d get what he wanted. So, swallowing his pride, Levi began his speech.
‘‘My students have this sort of conspiracy in which they believe Hange and I are romantically involved. I keep hearing them talk about it, giggling and making…’’ He cleared his throat, embarrassed ‘‘Inappropriate comments. It makes me deeply uncomfortable, so I want to quit.’’
The room fell into silence. Erwin’s eyes were scanning him, analysing the situation, hands folded under his chin. After a while, he seemed to make up his mind and announced his verdict.
‘‘You like her, don’t you?’’
Levi’s face burned, but he didn’t give Erwin the satisfaction of seeing him flustered ‘‘What? Why would you say that?’’
‘‘These comments wouldn’t abash you so badly if there were no feelings involved. You’d just be cross.’’ He explained, but didn’t let him answer. Not that he knew what to say anyway.
‘‘Oh my God, Levi. You wanted to quit your job because you have a crush on a coworker? That’s the most ‘drama queen’ thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to witness you doing.’’
He was laughing now, the bastard.
‘‘I don’t have a crush on her.’’
‘‘Because you think that expression is far too juvenile and you’re not twelve, alright, I get it.’’ Erwin had the indecency to smile smugly at him ‘‘But you like her.’’
It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t answer. His silence confirmed everything his boss needed to know.
‘‘For such an uptight guy, you’re the most dramatic person I’ve ever met. You can’t quit because of this.’’
‘‘Fine.’’ Levi hissed through his gritted teeth, aggressively snatching the paper on the table.
Arguing with Erwin would be of no use. There was no way he could get him to change his mind unless he threatened him with taking legal action, which wasn’t something he’d be keen on doing, especially to Erwin. So he sank into the chair and accepted his misfortune for the sake of their friendship.
‘‘You know, Marie was a teacher at the school I used to work at before I came here.’’
Marie was Erwin’s wife. She was a nice lady, but her long-term relationship with him was also the reason why he believed he was in his every right to give Levi advice on this. So, just out of frustration, he’d have to curse her existence for a minute.
‘‘If you’re implying what I think you are, you better forget about it. I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with four eyes.’’
‘‘Because you don’t think she likes you back.’’
‘‘Will you just stop making assumptions?’’
‘‘But I’m right, aren’t I?’’
Again, Levi let his silence speak for him.
‘‘You know, maybe you shouldn’t make assumptions either.’’ Erwin spoke peacefully but with confidence. Was that amusement in his eyes or was he seeing things?
He raised an eyebrow ‘‘What do you mean?’’
‘‘Figure it out for yourself, little guy. Lunch break is almost over and you have to go back to your teaching duties.’’
Levi grunted at the nickname but didn’t retort as he stood up and grabbed his bag. Before he could walk through Erwin’s office door, the blond man spoke up again.
‘‘You should talk about your feelings with her, Levi. Trust me on this one.’’
He shot Erwin one last deadly glare before shutting the door behind him. Talking about his feelings? Really? This wasn’t some romcom. This was fate putting him in an awfully unfortunate position.
But he’d get over this, he thought. His feelings for Hange would have to vanish eventually.
It nearing the end of the second term and the temperature was becoming warmer, the flowers blossoming and, with finals now completed, the student’s humour improving. Winter had flown out the window in the blink of an eye and Easter break was rapidly approaching. There was a week between the end of finals and the beginning of Easter break in which classes were partly reviewing the already studied topics and partly just talking mindlessly and allowing both the teachers and the pupils to take a break.
Even Levi was in a good mood. He chuckled, now, at Jean’s furious scribbles on Eren’s notebook, the latest one being a scarily accurate sketch of the brunet boy’s mother and Jean kissing in a wedding chapel as Eren agonised in the background, which the latter had not seemed to take well. Despite the simplicity of it, Levi had found it fairly funny and watched, amused, as the entire class’ expressions turned into one of shock when he let a small smile show on his lips and set the notebook he’d grabbed back on the high schooler’s table.
So yes, everything was going smoothly. Except for one singular thing:
His feelings for Hange had not faltered in the slightest.
In fact, they only seemed to bother him more and more as the days passed. Levi had overestimated himself when he decided he could achieve what he wanted without cutting the biology teacher off, since it’d raise suspicions and make Hange feel sad. Both were things that he strived to avoid.
She had informed him that she told Eren and his friends to quit spreading rumours about their teachers (not naming any names, but they got the message), and although they’d been more discreet as of late, he still occasionally heard snickering among the teenagers whenever he talked to or about her.
Although he was grateful for her efforts, not much had changed. And so he kept spiralling. He was so uncharacteristically, disgustingly smitten with her that it made him feel gross. He felt tense whenever she walked into his classroom and he found himself thinking about her so often that it made him lose focus, even when he was in the middle of a lesson. Hell, he couldn’t even talk to her face-to-face without it being difficult for him to listen to anything she was saying.
Levi constantly cursed himself for letting this happen. He was in his mid-thirties getting flustered because his coworker was talking too close to his face or putting a hand over his to express empathy or laughing so candidly it made his heart ache.
It was insufferable.
Of course, he’d never show Hange all those things. Hiding his true emotions was one of the few things he prided himself on, so that was one less thing to worry about. His internal turmoil was, however, a whole different story.
It didn’t help that, now that Erwin knew, he kept shooting him these knowing looks that made him wish that the ground would swallow him. They didn’t talk about it again, but the smugness on his face whenever he saw him talking to Hange was enough to know what was going through his mind.
He just hoped that he could have the chance to clear his head during Easter’s break. Nine days off was more than enough time to get his shit together.
Or so he’d thought, until the afternoon of the last day of work before the vacation. As he lay peacefully on his couch, sunshine sneaking through the half-closed blinds and already drifting off for a well-deserved nap, one single buzzing sound made him blindly reach for his phone.
On the screen flashed a text his blurry eyes had taken a while to decode.
<< I know you’re all probably exhausted, but Marie and I had the idea of hosting a barbecue to celebrate the start of Easter break. We ought to make good use of the weather! How does this Sunday sound?
- Erwin Smith >>
Levi could’ve simply not gone. Make up some excuse, say he was sick or that he was away on a trip or some other typical pretext. He hated social events, the radio music, the idle talking, the loud chatter. He hated having to see the people he worked with when he was supposed to be taking a break from his job and making an effort to be cordial towards them because he couldn’t be rude to people he saw every day. At least he could afford to be inconsiderate when he met people he’d most likely never have to see ever again.
He didn’t dislike them, truly, he simply preferred being alone in the tranquility of his home, and being in the same space as so many people annoyed him. So he could’ve simply not gone.
And yet there he was, hands gripping the steering wheel as he parked his car a few streets away from Erwin’s house.
In the end, he’d decided to comply with Erwin’s wishes (who had called him after he’d sent the text and personally asked him to show up) simply because he didn’t want him to assume he wasn’t going solely because of Hange. Which of course he’d do, since every other time the marriage had hosted a get-together he’d always unwillingly shown up, and if he decided to skip it now that the blond man knew about his state of mind he’d just attribute him being absent to Hange’s presence.
But he still had a week of rest left after the barbecue, so it didn’t matter much. Two more days of seeing Hange’s face wouldn’t make a difference.
Erwin’s place was bigger than his flat. It was one of those detached houses, with a backyard and a pool and two floors and a picket fence and a golden retriever running around. It was well-decorated and homely, but Levi liked it more when it wasn’t full of people and it was just him having dinner with his boss and Marie whenever they invited him over.
He rang the doorbell and Erwin rushed to open the door for him. He was wearing one of those cliché ‘kiss the cook’ aprons, held a pair of tongs in his hand and, after greeting him with a pat on his back, he guided him to the backyard where the barbecue was being held. It was fairly spacious and there was a big white plastic table in the centre with a bunch of white plastic chairs placed around it. People stood around it with one-use cups in their hands, talking and laughing. A few of them noticed his arrival and waved him hello.
Levi stood still in the doorway that led to the garden with his boss at his side, inspecting the place and the familiar faces all around it. He stopped when he realised he hadn’t caught sight of one in particular.
‘‘Where’s Hange?’’
The question had escaped from his lips before he registered that he was asking this to Erwin out of all people. He didn’t look up to confirm it, but he could already see the smirk taking shape on his face.
‘‘No ‘hello boss, it’s good to see you' ? No ‘hey, you’ve done an impressive job decorating the backyard’ ?’’ He mocked him, crossing his arms over his chest ‘‘Are you that eager to see her?’’
‘‘Erwin, if you don’t shut up…’’
‘‘Alright, alright. She’s right there, playing with the dog.’’
He pointed to a corner of the yard and, indeed, Hange was there, crouched near a dog with gold-coloured fur lying on its back, arms moving frantically as she rubbed its belly. Her face displayed an expression of pure joy as she laughed gleefully and, by the Erwin had amicably elbowed him, he deduced he must’ve noticed how his scowl subsided at the sight.
‘‘You’re staring.’’
Levi forced his eyes away from the woman across the garden ‘‘I hate you.’’
‘‘You don’t. Go talk to her, I need to put the briskets on the grill.’’
Not waiting to hear his answer, Erwin walked away as he whistled along to some pop song on the radio. Levi ran one hand over his face and cursed himself for having told him about his feelings for Hange. Lately, it seemed like he only made one bad decision after the other. He shook his head, deciding it wasn’t the right time to think about that.
He made his way to the other side of the yard, stopping to greet some of his coworkers along the way. When he got to where Hange was, she was so focused on petting the dog that she didn’t realise he was standing beside her. He observed her as she talked in a baby voice for a few seconds before he disrupted the scene.
‘‘Enjoying yourself, four eyes?’’
Hange looked up, taken off guard, her mouth agape for an instant before it turned into a cheeky grin ‘‘Look! I’ve made a new friend!’’
‘‘I’d hardly call that a friend. It’s a dog.’’ Levi sat on the grass beside her as she ran her hands over the pet’s belly.
‘‘Don’t be rude to Mr Eyebrows! Dogs have feelings too, you know.’’
‘‘I don’t— Wait, Erwin named his dog Mr Eyebrows? ’’
‘‘It was Marie’s idea. But I think it’s a suitable name.’’ Hange moved her hand to the dog’s head and scratched it behind the ears as she pointed to its brows ‘‘Look, they even look like Erwin’s.’’
Levi couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at her comment. They did indeed resemble them.
‘‘If Erwin doesn’t watch out, I’ll end up taking this little guy home with me.’’ Hange moved her other hand to the animal’s face and grated under his chin ‘‘Isn’t he the cutest?’’
‘‘Hmm.’’ He nodded in agreement and brought a hand to its belly, petting it lightly.
She leaned closer to the dog’s face as if she was talking to him ‘‘See? Even Levi thinks you’re a good boy.’’ Then, she turned around to beam at him.
Her smile was so blinding Levi found himself unable to hold her gaze. Why was Hange making it so difficult for him to stop liking her?
He had been watching her as she petted the dog for God knows how long until a voice shouted that the food was ready. The barbecue went peacefully after that: He’d taken a seat next to Hange while they ate and listened as she rambled about stuff he didn’t understand to her fellow teachers in the biology department and, after eating, he went to congratulate Erwin and Marie on the food and chatted with them for a while until they began tidying up and he offered to help them.
The sun had begun setting as the three of them cleaned and some people started leaving. Meanwhile, Hange had gone back to the dog. He’d steal glances at her from time to time, taking advantage of the fact that she wouldn’t catch him staring since she was too focused on the animal in front of her. After a while, she stood up to talk with Mike and Nanaba, who were getting ready to leave, and then with Erwin. Then, she returned to the pet’s side.
Once he’d finished cleaning, he went back to her. How she’d managed to spend hours playing with a dog was beyond his comprehension, but he didn’t comment on it.
Hange waved at him, this time having taken notice of his approach ‘‘Hey!’’
He didn’t greet her back and sat by her side in silence, watching her. The sky shone with the colours of the sunset above their heads in a way that made her brown eyes look more appealing than usual.
Levi was too tired to converse, so he was lucky being in silence with her was always comfortable. And, if she didn’t want to be in silence, she’d always understand and do all the talking as he listened. Hange did exactly that for a while until, in the middle of rambling, she said something that caught his attention.
‘‘... but Erwin told me you’ll drive me home, so…’’
Having reclined against the fence behind him, he sat back up, disconcerted ‘‘What?’’
“When Mike and Nanaba left, I told him they had driven me here but I didn’t want to leave yet, and he told me not to worry, that you’d drive me back home. You didn’t know?’’
‘‘No.’’
Driving Hange home wouldn’t be such a strange occurrence. He’d done it before, since she didn’t have a car and often needed a lift, and he didn’t actually mind, but the fact that Erwin had told her he’d do it without asking irked him.
Well, he’d offer to do it anyway if she asked, so fussing over it would be pointless.
‘‘But it’s okay. I can do it.’’ Levi assured her, and she replied with a small smile. He could tell she was tired, too. It had been a long day after all.
Half an hour later, they were already in his car and driving towards Hange’s place. The sky had already gone dark and they drove in silence, save for the soft hum of the music on the radio. It was only nine in the afternoon, but his body ached with exhaustion. For some reason, social events always seemed to tire him out more than any physical exercise he did.
On the passenger seat, Hange hummed along to the music as she stared out the window and traced the outline of the city buildings over the cold glass with her fingertips.
It was pleasant like this, he thought. Her place wasn’t very far from Erwin’s, so the ride didn’t last more than ten minutes, but as they neared their destination, it occurred to him that he wouldn’t have minded if the trip had taken longer.
‘‘We’re here.’’ Levi warned her, tapping on her shoulder. She had seemed to doze off by the time he’d parked the car ‘‘Get up. I’ll walk you to the door.’’
The streets were nearly empty and the air was chilly despite the warm temperatures during the day. He was at peace, remarkably so. There was something about her presence that seemed to soothe him.
‘‘Today was fun, don’t you think?’’ Hange commented as they walked ‘‘I know you don’t usually enjoy get-togethers like these, but…’’
‘‘It was fine. Less terrible than I’d thought it’d be.’’
She smiled, satisfied with his answer ‘‘I’m happy you had a good time. Even if you abandoned me in favour of cleaning towards the end.’’
‘‘Don’t complain. You seemed to enjoy Mr Eyebrows’ company just fine.’’
‘‘Can’t say I didn’t.’’
Hange reached inside her pocket to grab her keys as they reached the block of flats where she lived. Standing in the doorway, she spun around to face him.
‘‘Thanks for the ride.’’
‘‘No problem.’’
She smiled, softly. Curiously enough, ‘soft’ was rarely a word he’d use to describe her, but it was all he could think about as the ends of her lips curved up in that uncharacteristic manner. The ambience was too calm, too peaceful, as they stood in front of each other.
Levi dared to look at her in the eyes. He found in her expression something he couldn’t decipher, like she, too, was confused by the tranquillity in the air. But she didn’t look lost, she just looked happy.
That soft smile, soft skin, those soft lips, soft eyes, the soft way she looked at him. It was too much to bear.
His voice came out as a whisper, as if he didn’t dare disrupt the serenity in the atmosphere.
‘‘Hange.’’
‘‘Hm?’’
He shouldn’t. It was merely a whim, he knew it. It’d be immoral, too unprofessional. It’d ruin their friendship.
He shouldn’t, but his hand was already on her nape before he could register what he was doing. He shouldn’t, but he was already pulling her closer by the time it occurred to him that his actions would have consequences.
He shouldn’t, but he kissed her regardless.
When Hange kissed him back, however, all his concerns seemed to vanish into thin air. For a moment, he forgot who he was, where he worked, what Hange was to him, that he’d have to see her again after the break ended. None of it mattered for a few seconds, as her hands found their way to his hair and buried themselves in it.
There was something about kissing her that just felt right, as if this was the way things were supposed to be. Like everything else, this kiss was soft, and although he felt like he was melting he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
She pulled away first, just to stare at him with those big brown eyes of hers. They sparkled, as if she was marvelled at what had just happened. Her hands let go of his hair, dropping to her sides, lips still parted. The look she was giving him had him struggling to stop himself from kissing her again.
She was quiet, speechless, so unlike her usual self. Levi withdrew his hand from the back of her neck.
‘‘Goodnight, Hange.’’
It wasn’t until he’d turned around and began walking towards his car, leaving her at the doorway, that he started processing what he’d done and all the calm he’d been feeling up until that moment dissolved, the realisation hitting him like a bucket of cold water pouring over his head.
He had kissed her.
Back in the car, Levi banged his forehead against the steering wheel as some sort of self-punishment. His head was spinning, dizzy with the touch of Hange’s lips still ghosting over his own. How could he have allowed himself to be this impulsive? God, he was so stupid, losing his composure over her simply looking unexpectedly soft. He was a weak man. He wanted to slap himself.
He started the car and began the ride back to his place. And the worst part of it, he thought as he drove, was that he’d just left her there with no justification for his behaviour. Not only was he impulsive, but he was also selfish and an asshole. For fuck’s sake, he couldn’t just go kissing people and then walking away with no further explanation.
And on top of that, he’d have to see her again once he came back to work. What would he even say to her?
He was so screwed.
<< Hey, I think we ought to have a conversation after last night. Are you free to grab some coffee at that cafe near my place today?
- Hange >>
Levi sighed as he stared at the phone, still drowsy from having just woken up.
It was expected that she’d want to talk about it (it’d be worse if they pretended it’d never happened), but the message startled him regardless. After the events of the day before, he’d been tossing and turning all night, unable to sleep due to the thoughts that raced through his mind.
She’d kissed him back, which could be a good sign, but that didn’t make the idea of talking about it with her any less terrifying. Perhaps she was just confused, perhaps it hadn’t meant anything at all. All of those possibilities (and more) crossed his mind as he tried to fall asleep and failed in the process. In the end, he ended up getting very few hours of rest, with that message being the first thing he saw in the morning after the buzzing sound had awakened him.
Rubbing his eyes, he tapped on the screen with one hand.
<< I’ll be there at 7 pm. See you.
- Levi >>
A few minutes before seven in the afternoon, he was already waiting outside the coffee shop, as promised, leaning back on the wall as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone when a voice calling his name caught his attention. When he looked up, he found Hange waving at him. His eyes went back down to the screen. 6:58. She was early, a rare occurrence coming from her.
As he slipped his phone into the pocket of his slacks, Levi greeted her with a nod. Even though she was smiling as she approached him, he sensed she felt uneasy, and a tinge of guilt jabbed at his sternum.
Hange was considerate enough to not force him to say anything as the first thing she did was gesture towards the entrance of the shop with her head ‘‘We can grab some coffee to-go and then take a walk. Does that sound good?’’
Levi nodded again. Inside, he only spoke up to ask Hange what she wanted and offered to pay. After they’d gotten their coffees, she led him towards a nearby park and they started wandering around.
‘‘So,’’ Hange started, saving him from having to break the ice yet again ‘‘About last night…’’
‘‘I’m sorry about that. I acted without thinking.’’ He told her the truth, no justification was needed. There weren’t any he could think of either way.
‘‘Yeah, I could tell that much.’’ She chuckled, but it lacked any real humour ‘‘I was just wondering why.’’
Levi stopped in his tracks to look at her. This was a conversation they ought to have face-to-face. Confused, Hange stopped walking too. She stood in front of him as he meditated his next words.
‘‘Did it bother you?’’
‘‘Huh?’’
‘‘That I kissed you, did it bother you?’’
The park was nearly empty and the sound of the wind filled the silences between them. Suddenly, there it was again, that red shadow on her cheeks.
‘‘... No.’’ She said, eventually. She then added in a quiet voice: ‘‘I… rather liked it, actually. It just confused me when you left after.’’
‘‘I’m sorry.’’ The admittance that she’d enjoyed the kiss made him flustered, but he tried to hide it as well as he could. He wanted to tell her he’d liked it too, but the words were stuck in his throat. Levi condemned himself for being so awkward.
Another moment of silence went by before she finally asked what he was dreading.
‘‘Why did you do it?’’
‘‘I assumed you’d already figured it out by now.’’
‘‘My hypothesis mean nothing. I need you to tell me why.’’
He couldn’t deny her that, not after what he’d done. So, despite himself, he prepared his answer.
‘‘I…’’ Levi looked away, unable to look at her in the eyes ‘‘... Have had feelings for you for a while now.’’
Another torturous moment of silence went by. They stood in the nearly empty park, one meter apart from each other, as the wind shook the top of the trees harmoniously. He couldn’t see Hange, but he could imagine she was blushing now, too.
Seeing as she wasn’t talking, he went on.
‘‘I’ve felt this way since Christmas. It all started with that stupid rumour. At first, it was bearable, but then…’’ Levi sighed, running a hand through his face ‘‘I couldn’t help myself. Last night, I mean. I apologise.’’
‘‘Oh.’’
Was that really all she had to say? Levi met her eyes again, searching for something more in her expression. He wasn’t wrong: She was, indeed, blushing, her mouth agape and her eyes wide.
‘‘Do you…’’ He started the question, but couldn’t bring himself to finish it.
‘‘Like you too? Yes, idiot.’’ Hange bit her lip nervously ''I’ve liked you for years. Took you long enough to do something about it.’’
‘‘Years?’’ He repeated, taken aback.
‘‘Yeah. I had a… Tiny crush on you when you were first hired. I guess it just escalated since then.’’
‘‘Why did you never tell me?’’
‘‘I thought it was pointless. You don’t seem like the type to be into romance, so I just let it be.’’ She explained. Now it was her who was avoiding his gaze ‘‘But then you kissed me, so…’’
‘‘I’m not into romance. You’re the exception.’’
Ah, he’d spoken without thinking again. However, any trace of regret he had disappeared when Hange’s face lit up at his words.
‘‘Really?’’ Did she sound hopeful or was his mind playing tricks on him?
‘‘Yes, four eyes, why else do you think I kissed you?’’
‘‘I don’t know.’’ She shrugged ‘‘I guess I presumed you’d want nothing to do with it afterward.’’
Levi frowned. How could she say that, after all he’d done for these past months was think about how much he wanted to kiss her? After all the countless hours he’d spent with those lips on his mind?
‘‘I’m not that kind of person.’’
‘‘I know that now, dumbass.’’ Hange giggled, genuinely this time. After a brief pause, she spoke up again ‘‘So… You like me, I like you. What now?’’
‘‘When you word it like that, you make it sound like we’re in high school.’’
‘‘Aren’t we?’’ She blissfully grinned, and God was it a sight to behold ‘‘Just answer my question.’’
Levi stepped closer to her ‘‘Let me make it up to you?’’
‘‘What have you got in mind?’’
He didn’t answer. Instead, he cupped her face and brought her down to his, allowing himself the delight of kissing her again. Hange hummed happily against his lips, not taking long until she kissed him back.
It wasn’t as soft as the kiss from the day before, but it was good regardless. Anything with Hange was good, he surmised. He longed for everything she had to offer, from longer, more passionate kisses to short pecks as quick displays of affection. This one also lasted more than the previous one. The satisfaction he’d felt after craving this all night was unmatched, so he allowed himself to relish it as much as he could.
The way her hands slid through the buzzed part of his undercut made his skin tingle in the same way it did when he saw her smiling and he’d come to find out later on that it was one of his favourite parts of kissing her. Eventually, he stepped back, hands still on her cheeks. That look of hers was back, the one she’d given him the previous night after they'd kissed. This time, however, he wasn’t planning on walking away.
‘‘Where do we go from here?’’
When Hange talked while smiling, it became obvious in the way she spoke. He allowed himself to kiss her again —This time briefly, just a peck—, just because that tone made him want to. He liked this, being able to kiss her whenever he wanted.
‘‘I guess we’ll just have to try our best to hide this from our students.’’
She gasped in feigned shock ‘‘Are you implying what I think you are, Levi?’’
‘‘Yes, four eyes, I’m asking you out.’’
Hange didn’t answer him with words nor with a kiss this time. Instead, she simply took hold of his hand as they resumed their walk.
This is good too, Levi thought. He could definitely get used to it.
‘‘Mr Ackerman seems to be in a better mood lately.’’ Eren commented on the first day of school after the end of Easter break. As he sat on his desk in silence while he corrected some translations, Levi couldn’t help but tune in to their conversation.
Armin nodded ‘‘You’re right. I wonder if anything happened.’’
‘‘I think I might know something.’’ The group of wide-eyes teenagers all looked at Sasha, who was wearing a smug grin on her face, in unison ‘‘I have some news I've been waiting all week to share with you.’’
Connie elbowed her, urging her to talk ‘‘Well? What is it?’’
‘‘You see, I was at the park the other day when I spotted Mr Ackerman walking around with the biology teacher…’’