Chapter Text
Entry 1
S6, E2
JJ
It is November of the year 2010. My name is Rebeka Landry. I am not human. I am a vescour. I am 407 years old. I was born in Gap, France, on a farm in the year 1603. I was changed in 1625, when I was 22 years old. It has been 20 years since I last killed and fed from a human.
My current alias is Rebecca Richards. I work in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I am corded to an agent there, Doctor Spencer Reid. I love him, though I would never speak it out loud. Three years ago, I infiltrated the team to be close to him, as well as to find out what they know about me. They’ve been profiling me as the Yellow Daffodil Vigilante, though they do not know that unsub is me.
Spencer knows what I am. I thought I was keeping it a secret from him, but he figured it out. When he finally told me he knew, I realized that you can’t compel someone you’re corded to. Our relationship is complicated. He has feelings for me, but he knows he has to keep his distance. He knows it will never work. We remain friends. He knows he can trust me as a friend, but not around blood. I’m not tempted by his, which means that he can keep me safe from blood better than anyone else. He calms me. He keeps me under control.
My best friend and the B.A.U.’s technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, also knows. She trusts me far too much, but she uplifts me in a way that no one else could. She’s ridiculous and inappropriate, but life would be dreadfully boring without her.
Aaron Hotchner, our team leader, now knows. I found that as unit chief, it’s important that he knows. He can utilize my abilities to catch unsubs and rescue victims. He can also keep me away from blood.
Since he’s found out, he’s been careful where he sends me and what he has me do. He is careful not to let me go to bloody crime scenes, but if it’s necessary, he always makes sure that he, or Reid, is with me.
I slowly allowed him to know things about me, until finally, he figured it out. On the night that he did, he confronted me at my apartment. Luckily, Penelope and Spencer were there to defend me. Hotch learned much about what I am and what I can do that night, but it barely scratched the surface. He’s agreed to keep my secret. He’s agreed not to send me away. After hearing all of the things I’ve done for the team from Penelope and Spencer, and after I saved his son, Jack, he said that they need me.
It’s been five weeks since then, and he’s learned a little more about me. I’ve explained how fast and strong I am. I’ve explained that my senses are finely developed, but I don’t think he fully understands what they can do. He also knows about the compulsion and suggestion. Luckily, nothing has happened in the last few weeks that’s required me to compel Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, or Rossi in front of him. I get the feeling that he doesn’t approve.
Hotch is an excellent profiler, and I’m sure that he’s learned much more about me personally, in the last few weeks. The guilt that I carry for what I am and what I’ve done because of it. How much I hate being this way, and how greatly I long to be human. He’s treated me well, although I am no longer permitted to be around Jack alone. I understand, although it’s greatly disappointing. It hurts, but I don’t blame Hotch. He’s not the one who made me this way. Marcel was.
Since Hotch found out about me, things have been going shockingly well. With his help, I haven’t found it necessary to compel anyone. No more dodging, hiding, and lying. He’s helped protect my secret, and things have run so much more smoothly for it.
We went on a case where two boys were responsible for the disappearance of a girl named Kate. They weren’t talking. They were cocky though, and at the very least, admitted to consentual sex with the girl. The boys asked for polygraph tests, which they passed. We never figured out how. Still, we knew that the boys had done something to Kate.
It had been three days since Kate’s disappearance. That meant that if Kate was still alive, time was of the essence. Hotch asked me to see what I could get out of the boys, so he and I went into the interrogation rooms with the boys, and turned off the microphones. He witnessed me look into their eyes and directly ask them what they did to Kate.
The first boy, Syd, had actually done exactly what he said he had. They had sex, but she rejected the other boy, Jimmy. Jimmy took her home.
Then we interrogated Jimmy. Once again, Hotch watched me compel him. Jimmy told us that he was angry with Kate, so he forced himself on her at her apartment and then took her out on his boat. At the wee hours of the morning, fishermen come in from the ocean. They usually dump the cleanings from their catch in a certain area, which causes a feeding frenzy of sharks. Jimmy took Kate out there and dumped her, hoping she would die.
We sent choppers out to search for her, and they found her. Kate was an athletic swimmer, and had pulled herself up onto a bouey where she had sat for three days.
Hotch was amazed by what I had done, and thanked me for it. He said that Kate was alive only because of me.
On another case, after going to the M.E.’s and the crime scenes with Reid, I was able to identify the unsub as a prepubescent boy through scent. I explained to Hotch the hormones involved that I could smell. He helped Reid and I to pretend like we had figured it out through profiling, rather than actual knowledge of the thing.
Hotch has been quite impressed with what I can do. He’s begun trusting me more and more. He even invited me to go trick-or-treating with him and Jack. Of course, Jack was the one that asked for me to come, but Hotch allowed it and extended the invitation.
I played and laughed with Jack all night long. He was dressed as his dad. He was going to be Spiderman, but he changed his mind and said that he wanted to “be a real superhero” instead.
Every now and again I would step back and walk with Hotch while Jack ran up to houses to get candy.
“I think...maybe I could like Halloween if this was how it always was for me,” I said softly.
“You don’t like Halloween?” Hotch asked. I shook my head, my expression dark. “People idolize us. I hate it. I’d do anything not to be this way anymore, and at Halloween, all the vampire lovers come out of the woodworks. That, and people like me have a hay day hunting. I usually spend my Halloweens hunting them down. I’ve never had the opportunity to spend it with a child.”
His face darkened as things clicked for him. He’d seen unsubs that did it, but he was realizing that Halloween is even more dangerous than he knew.
“How is it that no one knows about you guys?” He asked.
“Because we’re incredibly careful,” I replied.
We continued to trick-or-treat. I laughed and joked with Jack. Still, I never got used to him calling me Reba. I hesitated every time.
I fell back and walked with Hotch again. “The way you interact with him…” Hotch started. “I heard that you can’t, but I know you weren’t always like this. Have you had kids before?” He asked carefully.
I froze, although I kept walking. My eyebrows lowered over my eyes and I stared at the sidewalk in front of me. It took me a minute, but then I softened. “Yes,” I said quietly. “When I was human. He was Jack’s age the very last time I saw him. That was in sixteen-twenty-five.” My voice was one of longing; heartbreak. “I had to leave him when…” I paused and took a breath. That familiar pit in my stomach returned. “When I was changed and I realized I was a danger to him.” He looked at me carefully. “I’m sorry,” he told me. “I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if I had lost Jack too.” He referred to when George Foyet killed his wife, Hayley.
“I wasn’t about to let it happen to you too,” I said darkly.
“Yeah,” he replied softly. “Thank you,” he added. I smiled softly- one of the rare times he’d seen me smile, aside from when I was with Jack. I usually only smile in front of Reid and Garcia. “You’re welcome,” I said. After a pause, I spoke again. “Would you...keep this between us, please?” I asked him. He looked at me for a moment. “Sure,” he nodded.
I was relieved. I looked up and sighed. I saw a few stars above me. “I miss the stars,” I said.
“The stars?” He asked. I looked back down at him. “I remember when the Milky Way was actually milky . It was…” I shook my head. “ Beautiful . Just magical . We took it for granted back then. These days, even in the most remote parts of the planet, it’s still not the same.”
Hotch looked up at the sky, seeming to imagine what it was like back then.
Our conversations continued like that throughout the night. “I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with him,” I noted, my lips curled up a little. Hotch smiled- an actual one. Then he looked at me. “I’ve never seen you happier, either,” he pointed out. I chuckled. “You caught me,” I smiled.
“Reba! Come wiff me!” Jack said, grabbing my hand.
“Okay!” I smiled. Jack dragged me up the stairs to one of the houses in the neighborhood. An old woman opened the door. “Twick o’ tweat!” Said Jack.
“Oh! Two F.B.I. agents! Wow!” She said, handing Jack some candy. I was wearing my badge to go along with Jack. Hotch had a spare one, so he was able to wear one too.
“Are you keeping everyone safe tonight?” She asked Jack.
“Yep!” He nodded happily. The woman and I exchanged a smile.
Jack and I walked back to Hotch.
“Did your son call you ‘Reba’?” Hotch asked me as Jack ran ahead of us. “Hey, don’t go too far, bud!” Hotch called.
“Okay!” Came back Jack’s sweet little voice. Hotch looked at me. I nodded. “Yes. He did,” I answered, solemn.
"Is that French for mother?" He asked. I shook my head. "No," I answered, pained once again. Hotch looked at me carefully. After another pause, he asked the question. "Why didn't he call you mother?"
"Because he didn't know," I answered, a lump in my throat. Hotch's eyebrows lowered. "Why didn't he know who you were?" He asked. I hesitated. More emotion was building as we talked. I never talked about Alexander. Ever. It was too much. "Maybe another time," I answered emotionally. Hotch nodded, and pushed the matter no further.
Jack came back and grabbed me, and for the rest of the night, dragged me from house to house. Hotch and I didn’t get any more time to talk, but I didn’t care. I had a fantastic time. My smile never faded.
The following day, Hotch informed me that Jack told him I’m his best friend. My mouth dropped in a smile and my face lit up. “He did? Oh, that’s so sweet!” I exclaimed. It was probably the most emotional expression Hotch had ever seen from me.
“Thank you so much for inviting me. Really,” I told him.
“Well, it was Jack’s idea,” Hotch replied. We both thought it was adorable that Jack had invited me. “He says he wants you to come next year.”
“Oh! I would love to!” I replied, my heart melted.
Hotch had been a little scared of me up until that point, but after Halloween, he’s seen me as more human than before. He’s recognized that I too, have emotions. My heart may beat slow, but it beats nonetheless.
Still, he’s apprehensive with me, and I think he’s struggling with the fact that I’m so deceptive. It certainly gives him more reason not to trust me, considering that I could be hiding any number of things from him and he’d be none the wiser. I promised him that I won’t hide anything else from him, with personal discretions, but still, knowing what I am is a lot to process.
But for the most part, everything has gone great, until they took JJ away.
Hotch, Strauss (the director over our department), and JJ were speaking in Hotch’s office nearly all morning. I only heard bits and pieces, as I was doing my best to work on my case, but I can’t always help but overhear.
JJ, in the last several months, has been offered a job liaising for The Pentagon, five times, and denied it each time. The job would be steady, with nine to five hours, no travel, and a large increase in pay. But the B.A.U. is her family, and she has no desire to leave.
Emily returned from an errand she had run. “They’re still in there?” She asked Reid and I. I nodded.
“I hope everything’s okay,” Reid said. Morgan has his own office down the hall from the B.A.U. now, since an agent retired. It means that now it’s just me, Reid, and Prentiss that work right next to each other in the main office area. It’s been nice, because it means that whenever Prentiss is gone, Reid and I can speak freely.
We went back to work, but I continued to hear bits and pieces. “It’s above my head, Aaron,” Strauss said. “This is no longer a request. Agent Jeauro’s transfer is an executive decision.”
“That’s it? I don’t have a choice?” JJ asked.
“They want you in Pennsylvania by the end of the week,” Strauss replied.
“The end of the week?!” JJ replied. “I have to train someone!”
“They wanted you there tomorrow,” Strauss said. I’m sorry.” She left the room, causing us to look up. Reid glanced at me and saw the sorrow on my face, causing his own to fill with concern. JJ and Hotch stayed in there a little longer. “I was really hoping I could do something about this,” Hotch seemed to be apologizing.
Reid looked back at me and saw that I was listening. I always tilt my head when I’m listening to something.
A few minutes later, they came out of the office and broke the news to us. All of us were gathered around. “Wait a minute, can’t Hotch do something?” Morgan asked.
“It’s above his pay grade. Strauss’ too,” JJ answered sadly.
“So, we do nothing?” Prentiss asked, frustrated.
“It’s done,” JJ shook her head.
“It can’t be that simple,” Morgan said.
“It is,” JJ replied.
“This job is hard enough. What are they tryin’ to do, bury us?” He asked.
“You’re too good,” Prentiss forced a laugh. “That’s the problem.”
“It’s true,” said Rossi. “You’re on everybody’s wishlist. “Our loss is somebody else’s gain.”
“They can’t just take you away,” Reid said, heartbroken. He was the most visibly distressed, his voice cracking as he spoke. JJ walked up to him and put a hand on his arm. Everyone stood there silent for a moment. “I’ve gotta go tell Garcia,” JJ said. She turned to go to Garcia’s office, and the rest of us watched her go. Without a word, Hotch turned too, and went to his office. A few more words were exchanged between us, and eventually everyone scattered.
I remained silent the entire time. I didn’t quite know how to react. Perhaps I’ve grown too comfortable in this human lifestyle. I’m used to losing humans. They’re born, they live, they die, the end. They have short lifespans and there’s nothing you can do. I’ve lost enough of them that it doesn’t seem to phase me anymore. But still...it hurts a little. I miss her.
In the coming weeks, Penelope tried hard to fill JJ’s role as liaison, but she was doing two people’s jobs. She became a bundle of nerves, cracking whenever she had too much. Finally, Hotch put her back on her own job. She’s still doing much of the work, like presenting our cases to us, setting up our meetings with family members, and such, but the rest of us are sharing the remaining workload, like press conferences and coordinating with police. It hasn’t been pleasant. Hotch has kept me away from the press conferences, however. He knows I’m not what you’d call ‘people-oriented.’
With all of the chaos, Hotch hasn’t had much time to ask me questions, and I haven’t offered any explanations. We’re just now starting to settle into the new work dynamic without JJ.
-Rebecca Richards