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It had been a long, rough day in the Miller household, to say the least.
Sarah was sick, again- she’d caught the bug going around daycare, and the eight-month-old was miserable: coughing and feverish. Ellie didn’t understand why her mother wasn’t giving her usual amount of attention, and the two-year-old had been whiny all day, begging Tess to watch her dance or play with her toys. And Joel had had to leave early to head to a jobsite over an hour away, unable to take the day off to help his wife with their daughters as they were in the final stretch of a huge project that required his physical presence.
“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he’d apologized as he’d stepped into a pair of jeans that morning as she nursed a stuffy Sarah in their bed, mindful of their youngest’s breathing while she ate. “If I could send Tommy I would, but the owners want me there to oversee the final steps.”
“I know, I know,” Tess had replied, defeated, as Sarah pulled away from her breast for the third time to sneeze, mucus dripping from her nostrils. Tess had wiped at Sarah’s tiny face, frowning at the greenish color on the cloth, and then looked back up at her husband. “Do you have time to get Ellie up and fed before you go? I need to call and make Sarah an appointment at the pediatrician.”
Joel had nodded, and once dressed disappeared off to their toddler’s room to get Ellie up and dressed for the day. Tess had managed to get Sarah an appointment for ten in the morning, relatively reasonable for a Wednesday morning during flu season, and had headed downstairs once the baby was burped and moderately settled, though still sniffly against her shoulder.
“Mama, go park tod’y?” Ellie had begged once she catches sight of Tess, and Tess had smiled sadly at her eldest.
“I’m sorry baby, Sarah isn’t feelin’ so good, so we’re gonna have to go to the doctor for her. No park today, honey,” she’d apologized to Ellie, who had frowned hard.
“Mama. Park,” she’d repeated, not understanding, and Joel had looked up from where he’d been adding a dash of milk to his coffee.
“Ellie girl, there isn’t time to go to the park today,” he’d explained once more, and annoyance had flashed through Tess, even though she’d known logically Joel was just trying to help. Heading to the fridge, she’d checked the milk supply, finding herself dissatisfied with how much she’d had stocked up, and knowing she needed to pump more after the doctor’s appointment.
Behind her, Ellie had continued to repeat park, her volume increasing with each repetition, until Tess had turned and snapped.
“Eleanor. No park today, and if you keep it up, no park at all this week,” her words had landed with the toddler, along with her tone, and the little girlhad blinked, stunned, before promptly bursting into tears. Even Joel had looked a little stunned, but he’d wisely said nothing, just finished packing his lunch in silence as Ellie sobbed at the table, banging her fists against the wooden surface.
Tess had left the room after that, knowing Joel would watch Ellie, to cool down and collect herself. Sarah had still been breathing nasally in her arms, so she’d settled the baby in her swing while she sat on the couch, head in her hands, to breathe deeply and try to center herself.
She’d nearly jumped at the hand on her shoulder- turned to look up at Joel, who had a still teary-eyed Ellie on his hip, though she was no longer sobbing.
“I gotta go, darlin’,” he’d said softly, and she’d nodded, opening her arms to take Ellie- thankfully the toddler had climbed right into her embrace, pressing her damp face into Tess’s neck. Joel had planted a kiss to her forehead and stroked a hand over Ellie’s head before heading for the door, leaving the girls in silence, broken only by Ellie and Sarah’s rhythmic sniffling.
“Sorry, bubba,” Tess had whispered after a little bit, Ellie relaxed against her. “Mama didn’t mean to yell like that.”
Ellie had just clung to her harder, and Tess had brushed a kiss to her head.
The day hadn’t gotten much better after that- Sarah had caught the flu, they’d learned at the doctor, and when they’d gotten to the pharmacy, none of her prescriptions were ready yet, leading to a thirty minute wait while they filled and mixed everything, before explaining the dosages to Tess while Ellie whined in the stroller.
Arriving home had led to an absolute struggle to get Ellie to nap, the toddler refusing to lay down unless Tess was with her, and waking whenever Tess tried to rise to check on Sarah in the nursery. Finally, Ellie had exhausted herself out around noon, conking out amidst a mess of sheets on her toddler bed, and Tess had gone to check on Sarah. She’d given the baby her first doses of medicine before laying her down, and the baby was still asleep, snoring loudly in her crib.
Tess had fully cried in the shower she’d managed to take, sobbing quietly under the stream of water while her daughters slept.
Lunch had been a quick chicken salad wrap before Sarah had woken, sobbing because she couldn’t breath well, and Tess had managed to sooth her in the rocking chair. But her crying had woken Ellie, who was groggy and lonely- so once Sarah was quieted, Tess had gotten Ellie to settle in front of the television, Bluey entertaining her with an ice pop in hand. They tried not to rely too fully on electronics, but she was so desperate today, she truthfully didn’t care what kept Ellie occupied.
By the time Joel had gotten home some time after six, Tess had placed a fed and sleepy Sarah in his arms, told him Ellie was also fed and in front of the television watching The Lion King, and had disappeared upstairs to close the bathroom door and drown herself in the bathtub for at least an hour.
The bath, did, at least, relax her tensed muscles, and the sheer quiet of the bathroom after the long day a haven. She felt like a horrible mother, like an utter failure, and as Tess settled further into the warm water, occasionally letting some out and filling the large white tub with more, she fought against more tears that threatened to fall.
Once she was toweled off and dry, dressed in a pair of Joel’s flannel pajama pants and a loose, soft Henley she could unbutton to easily nurse Sarah later, she opened the bedroom door and heard Lilo and Stitch coming from downstairs, one of Ellie’s all-time favorite movies.
Feeling a little better, Tess pumped in the nursery then cleaned up a little bit, having left things a bit of a mess after today’s nap before returning downstairs with the milk to put in the fridge. She eats a quick lemon yogurt, having not eaten dinner with Ellie earlier, and then cleans up the kitchen.
Once she was finished, she headed to the living room, softening at the sight before her; Sarah was sprawled on Joel’s chest, snoring with her head tucked beneath his chin, and Ellie had her head on his lap, eyes rapt on the screen as she watched the movie. She looked up at Tess, and then pointed at the screen.
“Lilo, Mama,” she explained, and Tess smiled.
“I see, baby,” she said, and Joel beckoned her over with the hand not resting on Sarah’s back.
“Not that I think cuddling will fix everything, but I’m pretty sure it can’t make things worse,” he says, and Tess smiles tiredly at him. “Come join us, honey.”
“Yes, Mama. Snuggle,” Ellie says, and scooches up so Tess can sit next to her, sandwiching the toddler between her and Joel. “Yes. Perfect.”
With Ellie’s warmth settled comfortably against her and Joel’s hand sinking into her hair, Tess feels some of the terribleness of the day ebb away and she looks over at her husband; finds him looking at her already, and she mouths her apology. “Sorry.”
He just shakes his head, the day already forgotten, and Tess turns to kiss the inside of his wrist tenderly. They’d have more days- just like they’d have more wonderful days.
And she looked forward to them all.