Chapter Text
Things hadn’t really been good for a while, Jason Grace was aware of that. Still, hearing Piper admit it herself one quiet night in the Zeus cabin came as a shock. “I think we need to break up,” Piper says, “this hasn’t been a real relationship in a while and I think you know that.” The implied question of if this was even a relationship at all remains unsaid. And Jason just lets her go, he can’t even argue with her because he knows she’s right.
His father stares into his soul as he is confronted with another way he is a failure. He can’t be the Jason Piper loved, he can’t be the son his father wanted, he can’t be the leader Hera chose him to be. All Jason seems able to do is fail again and again. Being passed out for half the quest, failing to save his best friend, and now failing his only other meaningful relationship. As Jason stares up at the ceiling hours after Piper left, he realizes two things: one: he doesn’t seem to be good at anything but letting other people down, and two: he doesn’t know who he actually is. Clearly, he can't measure up to the version of himself Hera created, and he doesn't feel like he's the same Roman praetor who led the 12th legion. But who is this new version of himself, this Greek and Roman Jason Grace? He cares about his temples and honoring the minor gods at the very least. He tethers himself to that as a lifeline, deciding that if he can’t seem to do anything else, he can at least uphold his promise to Kym, and the other minor gods.
The next day Jason left early, wanting to avoid the embarrassment of a breakfast by himself with the entire Aphrodite cabin presumably gossiping about him. He’s eternally grateful Chiron gave him clearance to come and go as he pleases with his temple project. And Jason uses the project as an excuse to get the hell out of dodge. He calls on Tempest and after playing catch-up and placating the spirit, sets off with no true destination in mind.
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As Jason travels, he thinks back to the last few months at camp. Hanging out with Piper everyday and seeing Nico come out of his shell little by little had definitely been highlights. Also the lack of imminent death. Now that he’s out of camp it seems easier to think back on the time he spent there, the heartbreak, but also the opportunity to experience normal camp activities without a quest hanging over his head.
As he travels Jason finds himself humming along to this song Kayla had been playing at pretty much every opportunity in the past few weeks. He had found that he really enjoyed Apollo cabin bonfires, even if the practice for them could be a bit incessant. The song stuck with him not just because it felt like he was hearing it every waking minute, but also because of the lyrics. “I’m afraid of changing because I built my life around you” had already stuck out to him when he first heard the song, but now as Jason finds himself crossing yawning fields, he really thinks about it. His entire life has been built around what others wanted and expected of him. Everyone expects him to be a leader as the son of Jupiter, Piper expected him to fulfill a version of himself he never even knew from the moment he woke up on that bus, the seven expected him to be this perfect rule following the son of Jupiter. As Jason really thinks about the series of events that led to him being here right now he finds himself growing even more frustrated. He still hasn’t regained his memories, nor does he feel he’s learned anything substantial about who he was. He just feels like a blank sheet of paper that other people keep coloring on and forcing to become whatever they want. And he's sick of it.
Jason forces tempest to set him down, deciding an airborne mental breakdown is not an optimal way for his day to go. It's only 10 AM, which seems far too early to plunge to his death. As he sets down on the side of a highway, he watches trucks drive thunder past him, blowing hair and dust and gunk from the highway into his face. And Jason realizes he doesn’t have it in him to care. He decides to walk into the small town he seems to have stopped near, if the highway signs are anything to go off of, just because he can.
As Jason walks down the street he starts kicking loose rocks just for the fuck of it, realizing its something he can do. He doesn’t have to do anything, he can be whoever he wants. He kicks his rock a little too hard, sending it hurtling into a weird looking restaurant called a Pizza Inn. The cashier gives him a tired look through the glass after the rock hits the door and Jason sheepishly looks away. Then he realizes he doesn’t have to be embarrassed, maybe the new Jason Grace is hard as shit like Nico pretends to be. Look at that, he’s even swearing in his internal monologue right now.
Jason decides the most rebellious thing he could do is enter the Pizza Inn after kicking his rock in the windshield. He enters the restaurant and the worker tiredly gestures at some greasy paper menus. Jason leans against the counter as he reads the menu, trying to think of what Nico would do in this situation. What would make him look cool? He bends his knee and brings his foot up on the wall as he leans. Then he tried to make his face look disinterested. He’s totally pulling this off. He looks up and sees the worker looking thoroughly unimpressed. Okay so maybe he isn’t pulling anything off. Slightly panicing now, Jason picks the item off the menu that most screams that he fucking hates authority.
Ten minutes later, Jason picks up his dessert pizza from the counter. Alright, in hindsight, this might be less punk and more generally sad. The look the cashier gave him seemed to express the latter.
Jason takes his chocolate chip pizza outside and sits on the curb in the parking lot, staring at the dry weeds peeking through the cracks in the asphalt. As he looks down at his breakfast, he can’t help but wonder what he was thinking. How is dessert pizza at 11 am going to help him figure out anything about himself? Moreover why is he impersonating Nico to try to get there. While Nico may be his tentative friend, he is probably the least put together person Jason knows. Grumbling to himself, Jason takes a bite of his dessert pizza, and realizes it's surprisingly good? It's like cake on pizza with a bunch of chocolate. Now spurred past the initial horror of eating such a thing with the sun rising, Jason begins devouring his pizza. As he eats, he decides that he knows one thing about himself, he loves Pizza Inn dessert pizza, especially because eating it seems like a very against the perfect Jason Grace image that seems to have built up around him somehow.
Dusting his hands off, Jason decides to continue down the road, realizing he has no idea where he is. He seems to be in a small town's central street, admiring the simple houses with nice white porches and the mountains in the distance. Eventually, Jason finds a paper, and upon reading uses his limited geography knowledge to determine he is somewhere in Western Virginia or North Carolina given the selection of newspapers at the stand. He remembers his only time in a Carolina, what feels like years ago when he was on his quest. He suddenly shivers when he remembers who Piper ended up talking to in South Carolina, and hopes Aphrodite does not travel around here often. Though he supposes this town isn’t very romantic, just small. What kind of goddess lives in a town like this?