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Back in the camp, finally able to rest, Janai's mind refuses to stay quiet. Everything from the past few days, the loss of so many people, being kidnapped, the threat to the Sun Seed, and now Miyana's defection... it swirls around her, a whirlpool of failures and dangers and threats around every corner.
What kind of a leader is she, that she trusted someone who betrayed her so utterly? What kind of a leader, that so many people are looking to her for answers and she doesn't know what to do?
A hand on her shoulder drags her from her thoughts. Amaya sits down beside her, out of Sunfire clothes and dressed for bed. She's holding Janai's sword, a warrior's surety always in her grip. It'd be at odds with the softness in her eyes if Janai didn't know who she was, her fighter with the warmest heart.
“You should have this back,” Amaya signs, setting the sword down for a moment, then holds it out to her.
Janai takes it, lays it across her lap. Part of her missed its weight in her hand, the familiarity of a blade she's fought with for so long, but most of her is glad Amaya had it, had a piece of Janai by her side.
“What's mine is yours,” she replies softly, lifting her hands from the hilt to sign along with the words. “I hope it kept you safe.”
Amaya nods, smiles at her, and all the stress and grief softens, drifts into the background. For a moment, it's just her and Amaya, and all she can feel is the completeness of her heart, now that they're back by each other's sides.
“It did.” Amaya hesitates for a moment, hands stilled. Then... “There was a moment I thought I wouldn't make it back. But the luck it gave me held. That and the orchid.”
“Maybe you should keep it, then,” Janai replies, imagining Amaya not making it home. The thought makes her feel cold, like the sun that runs through her veins has deserted her.
“No,” Amaya signs immediately and forcefully, something intense and burning in her gaze. “When you were gone, I couldn't stop thinking that if you'd had it, maybe they wouldn't have taken you. Having a piece of you beside me gave me strength, but I'd rather lose that strength than lose you.”
She's fast with the words, so fast Janai almost gets lost, but the message carries through.
It's the same reason Janai gave her the sword in the first place: for ordinary people, protection means fighting for someone, trying to keep them out of danger at all costs. But they're warriors, and to stay safe and coddled and out of danger would mean to stop being who they are. So protection means standing beside each other to fight, and when they can't stand together, it means doing all they can to make sure the other wins the battle.
It's my heart for yours, my soul for yours, my sword for yours, always and forever.
“I didn't regret it,” Janai says, signing each word with extra care not to make mistakes of the 'wrestle/marry' variety, because this is a truth she needs Amaya to know. “Not even at the worst moment. I could never regret a choice that kept you safe.”
“So we're at a stalemate,” Amaya signs. “Maybe you should just make two swords.”
“This is 'two cakes' all over again,” Janai says. “It's not that easy. These blades take so much care to–”
She stops, catching the grin on Amaya's face, the spark of mischief in her eyes.
“And you're teasing me again.”
Amaya shrugs. “You make it easy.”
Janai shakes her head, tries to feign exasperation, but she can feel the smile on her own lips betraying her. Amaya makes everything better. She's not sure how she ever lived without her. Prays she'll never have to again.
“You're not going to take the sword back, are you?”
Amaya considers it. “Maybe one day, if I know you're safe. I did like fighting with it. Not just because it made me think of you. It's a beautiful weapon.”
“You looked good with it,” Janai replies. In battles, she's tactical, but with hindsight, she can appreciate Amaya wielding her blade, blazing with fire and strength like the sun itself might weep to see her shine.
Amaya smirks, looks her up and down playfully. “Now you get how I feel all the time.”
“You're trying to charm me out of my thoughts,” Janai observes.
“Is it working?”
Janai smiles and refuses to answer, but she leans in to kiss Amaya softly on the lips, lifts a hand to cup her cheek, sink into the relief of her being real, and safe, and still here, despite everything. Amaya kisses her back like she's been haunted by the same fears, and Janai shifts, turning her body towards her, and has only half-formed a thought about sitting side-by-side being the worst way to kiss when a thud beside them makes her start, pull away.
Amaya raises her eyebrows, a question on her face, in the same moment that Janai registers the lack of a weight on her lap, and the fact that the debated sword is now lying on the ground beside the bed.
Amaya follows her gaze, then grins, looking a little self-satisfied. “Is that all it takes to disarm you, Golden Knight of Lux Aurea? Maybe I should keep the sword.”
It's not even all that funny, but Janai finds herself laughing. Maybe it's just stress, or the relief of being together again. Maybe it's Amaya being committed enough to teasing her that she even bothered fingerspelling Lux Aurea, lest Janai forget the high standing that makes the situation funny in the first place.
Whatever it is, in that moment, she laughs, and it makes Amaya smile so brilliantly that she knows she's played right into her hands. Humour and teasing and warmth, to get her out of her head. She falls for it every time, and is glad to.
“Unless I fight an enemy by kissing them without holding onto my weapon, I think I'll be all right.”
“Likelier than it sounds, given I was your enemy once.”
Janai shakes her head. “You're impossible.”
“You love it,” Amaya signs with supreme confidence.
“I do,” Janai admits.
Amaya smiles and reaches for her hand, presses a soft kiss to her knuckles.
There is another battle coming, and a whirlpool of fear and stress and questions waiting in Janai's mind, but she lets herself stay in the softness of this moment, just for a little while.
No matter what's next, she'll face it with Amaya, and she'll fight with all her fire and her blades to make sure they survive, together, to build a better world. She knows Amaya will do the same. My heart with yours, my soul with yours, my sword with yours.
Always and forever.