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"One month after the devastating geth attack on the Citadel, the galactic community struggles to rebuild.
The Alliance fleet made a tremendous sacrifice to save the Citadel Council and earned humanity membership in their prestigious group. Now the Council is forced to respond to evidence that the Reapers - enormous machines that eradicate all organic civilization every 50,000 years - have returned. To quell the rumours, the Council has sent Commander Shepard and the Normandy to wipe out the last pockets of geth resistance. Officially, they blame the invasion on the geth and their leader a rogue Spectre.
But for those who know the truth the search for answers is just beginning..."
The following days Jase thought every minute about Liara's dream. He couldn't shake off the feeling that her dream would be true. At the last evening of Saya and Kaidan's honeymoon he found himself sitting next to Joker in the cockpit and told him about Liara's dream, or vision. The last thing he wanted was Joker causing anything like this. After all he believed Joker would know when to abandon ship and expected him to follow orders. He couldn't even imagine it....
Joker swore as a large ship appeared in front of them.
"Brace for evasive maneuvers!!"
The ship started swerving as the other vessel fired a beam weapon and hit them.
"Crap! Jase go! Sound the alarm!"
Irimsaya kissed Kaidan again before getting dressed then turned when the ship's alarm started blaring.
"What the hell??" She looked at Kaidan as the ship rocked. "Get suited up!!"
She quickly put on her armour and helmet and ran to the nearest terminal to find out what was going on, not waiting for Kaidan.
Kaidan was right behind her after getting into his suit as the alarm started to sound. He saw Jase running towards them. "Unknown vessel is attacking! I'm getting the crew from the engine room!" There was no time to waste and Jase hurried to get Tali, Wrex, Adams and a few other of their crew to the escape pods. He could feel the ship lurching and bucking beneath his feet.
Kaidan checked the terminal and looked at Saya in alarm. "Joker won't abandon ship!"
Irimsaya pushed some buttons and risked a glance back to Kaidan.
"Get yourself and the crew to the pods. I'll get Joker."
She heard him about to protest.
"Go Alenko!... I love you." She turned and ran for the bridge after securing her helmet. She got there and saw the destruction, it wrenched her heart but she kept moving to the field that was in place around Joker and got through it.
"Joker! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Buying you time, Commander! Help me up." Joker paused and leaned a little forward, eyes narrowing at the display. "Oh no... They're coming around for another attack!"
Another hit from their attacker and an explosion from the engine room hit the cargo hold, tossing Jase around. He struggled to get back onto his feet and ran towards the pod when once again the ship groaned and bugged under the assault.
Wrex leaned out of the pod to reach out for him when the wall exploded next to Jase, spewing metal and wires around. The force tossed him away from the pod's door, the heat of it was scorching Jase's shirt. His stomach was on fire as another blast pushed him against the other wall and knocked him out.
Wrex growled loudly and ran out of the pod towards Shepard, picked him up and dragged him into the pod to stuff the human into a seat. Wrex quickly closed the door and activated the ejection.
Tali and Adams took care of Jase, Wrex turned around to look him over. "He's tough, he'll survive. That little blood loss won't hurt him."
Irimsaya swore and grabbed Joker hard, knowing she probably crushed some of the bones in his arm. She got him up and to the closest pod then shoved him in. Her eyes widened as the ship was hit again, breaching what little atmosphere they had left. She hit the button to the pod, sealing Joker inside just before she lost her grip on the ship and started floating away. Saya saw the look of horror on Joker's face as he realized what had happened just before the pod launched.
She was breathing hard, harder than she ever had before. Saya knew she was adrift then she gasped as her air started venting. Her last thought as she struggled to try and keep the air in and just before she passed out was how much she loved her husband. Then there was nothing.
Joker was yelling from inside the pod as he saw the air venting from his Commander's suit then saw her go limp.
"COMMANDER!! NO!!"
He sat back, tears streaming down his face as his pod landed near all the others.
Day One
Jase's mind was slowly floating to the surface, hearing a string of chatter from far away which he slowly began to understand. Tali's voice sounded sad and concerned, Adam's was there too and Jase inhaled harshly when something was pressed onto his stomach. The pain intensified before it started to lessen, but was enough to have him knocked out again.
Kaidan stared at his gloves, it had been two hours after they evacuated and since he had heard Joker's yell over the comm. He knew what it meant, but he refused to believe it. Soon they would be picked up and rescued, yet a part of him hoped the enemy would come, find them and kill them too.
Kaidan closed his eyes, all he wanted to do was have her in his arms again. Smell her scent. How could she be gone? How could she leave him alone? She wouldn't. She would have done everything to survive. But when he had seen Joker's face as they lifted him out of the escape pod... Kaidan had felt his world crumble around him.
The tears finally found him and he slid down onto his knees on the ground as the despair consumed him.
Garrus looked around at the remaining rest of the former crew, noticing a few faces were missing. Many of them had minor injuries, burns or gashes. But the silence was more deafening. No one spoke a word. If anything was spoken at all it were hushed words or orders from their rescuers.
When Kaidan dropped to the ground Garrus was there at his side in a few quick strides. He had heard of the emotion and ability to cry but never before had he seen it for real. The anguish radiating from the man was gut wrenching and he knelt down and laid his hand on Kaidan's shoulder. Garrus didn't know what else to do. But they had to move, their shuttle was waiting which would bring them to the next station and hospital for those who were hurt. "Kaidan, we have to go. They are waiting for us."
Kaidan shook his head as he heard Garrus' voice.
"I can't go. I can't leave her! I CAN'T!"
Garrus reached out to help him up as he couldn't say a lot to this situation. But he was glad when he saw Kaidan looking at him eventually. "Damn it Kaidan! Get up and go to the shuttle! The crew needs you! Pressly is dead, Shepard is out of question too. They need you Kaidan."
He offered his hand once again. "The Commander would want you to do your job."
Kaidan looked at Garrus' hand and closed his eyes for a moment. The Turian was right. He knew that. But the thought of leaving Saya, even if she was dead... Slowly he took the hand and felt himself hauled to his feet.
"I don't know if I can do this without her. What if she's still alive and needs help..."
He protested a bit as Garrus pushed him gently but firmly towards the shuttle.
"If she is alive they will find her. I am sure," Garrus said while following him.
Kaidan bowed his head as he sat in the shuttle next to Joker. He couldn't help himself as the tears threatened him once more.
Garrus sat down next to Kaidan and kept an eye on the man, wondering what they all were about to do now. The Normandy was destroyed and they all had lost their temporary home. Maybe he should go back to C-Sec on the Citadel. But what would become of his friends, Garrus wondered as he looked at them. The crew was more than ten people less though and he figured, as most of them were with the Alliance, they would be reassigned somewhere else.
One day later
Needles.
That's what he felt first, a thousand of needles living in his stomach, hot and sharp, stabbing the skin. The rush of water he heard wasn't there to soothe the burning pain of needles away and he briefly wondered if he was actually drowning. The sound slowly disappeared and was replaced by silence and the occasional soft groan. Was this his own voice?
"Ugh..."
There it had been again.
"Commander? Can you hear me?"
A voice, soft and female. Soothing.
Jase turned his head slowly and felt dizzy. Another groan came over his lips.
"Commander Shepard?"
Cool gentle hands touched his wrist, fingers pressing down on his pulse.
Slowly he cracked open one eye, it felt crusted as if he had taken a bath in stones. The nurse slowly came into focus, she had brown hair and smiled down at him.
Déjà vu.
Hospitals. Jase hated waking up in them, with a strange woman at his side and he knew, once again, his world would change. For the fourth time in his life.
"Good morning, Commander. How do you feel?"
Jase pried open the other eye and watched her. The chair next to his bed was empty and no one else was in the room.
"Joker?"
She looked puzzled at him, wondering. "I'm sorry Commander. I'm.. not joking?"
Jase closed his eyes, of course. She probably didn't know it. He looked at her again, trying to make some more sense.
"'s.... Flight. Lieutenant... Moreau..?"
That did it and she smiled at him, understanding. "Oh, you mean your pilot with the hat? He's currently.. unavailable. Now, how are you feeling Commander?"
Jase lifted his hand, motioning carefully towards his stomach. "Needles..," he told her softly. Maybe she could give him something.
The nurse nodded. "You had quite the wound there, metal pieces of your ship had lodged itself into your stomach. You're lucky to be alive. The doctors have patched you up and you'll be up and about in no time. Now, let me help you with the pain." She went to adjust his medication and Jase sighed in relief when the painkillers started to kick in. "There you go, now you should feel better."
Jase sighed and nodded, closing his eyes. He was about to nod off again when it hit him and his eyes flew open. Reaching out he grabbed her wrist this time, looking at her.
"Sister? Saya Shepard?"
The nurse's face fell and she looked away for a second before she focused back onto him. With a sad smile she shook her head no and Jase didn't need to hear more. Whatever she was saying now, it never mattered. Jase closed his eyes and turned his head away, knowing he had lost her. The pillow beneath his face started to become wet and for once he wished it would have been him instead of her. At least then he could have joined his Kaidan.
One month later
Kaidan rubbed his face as he left the blind date he had been set up on. His friends were trying so hard to find him someone but he couldn't convince them that he wasn't ready. It had only been a month. He stood and stared at the fountains of the Presidium and did some thinking. The Alliance had offered him a promotion and an assignment far away from everything he knew... everything he related to Saya. All he had to do was sign up for it.
Jase was inwardly fuming with anger. Once again he'd been dismissed and his knowledge of the Reapers and everything related to it had been brushed off as a result of losing his own reality. And things became even worse that nobody he knew from this world actually knew and trusted him here, aside of Anderson. But the man wasn't a lot of help now either due to being the Councilor. Those he had spoken to even had the guts to force him into appointments with a shrink. He wouldn't have that. Either he went with their offer or he'd have to quit. Jase chose the latter. Perhaps he could find a small group of hired mercs somewhere and actually DO something about it. But he lacked the credits. Even worse, he had no job now and needed a new one.
Jase sighed in frustration and looked around, the Citadel was still a mess but was getting cleaned up nicely. There was enough work here for him and a helping hand was always needed somewhere. That's when he saw Kaidan. Jase stopped at first a little, but made up his mind and slowly approached him.
"Kaidan."
Kaidan swallowed hard and turned to face him.
"Shep....Jase... Hi..."
Jase watched his face, he didn't look well. Too thin and not enough sleep at night. When Kaidan started to walk he followed him.
"You never answered my messages..."
Kaidan watched him for a moment before responding.
"I..I know and I... I'm sorry. It's hard thinking about you... you're her... I miss her so much. Every second of every minute of every day... all I can do is think about her. I know it's been a month, a lot of people expect me to move on. I can't. I'm alive and she's not Jase. It should have been the other way around!"
The door in front of them opened and they stepped through it. Jase nodded after some time while he followed him silently and replied softly, "One month isn't enough time to heal such a wound Kaidan. It should have been me, not her."
Kaidan stopped walking, sank to the floor slowly and looked up at Jase.
"I don't know how to live now Jase. I want her back in my arms so badly. I dream about her every night."
Jase wanted to sit down next to him but thought they should go somewhere else. But Kaidan probably didn't want to talk then anymore. Jase moved and joined him on the ground. At least the area was nearly private and they were alone.
"I know Kaidan, I know," he said softly, often thinking about what he could have done different. He tried, had heeded Liara's warning, had told Joker. And still, it had happened.
"Why me... why am I alive and she's dead. Why didn't I die with her. I should never have listened to her when she ordered me to leave. I should have stayed." He looked at Jase. "I never even got to tell her I love you one last time. I never got to say goodbye."
A month ago all of them had been happy, Kaidan and Saya had been freshly married, he had met their mother. Now their life had taken another turn for the worse. To top it off, Jase knew exactly how Kaidan felt and he remembered the one conversation he had with Saya about this very topic. He could offer Kaidan to tell him instead and he could do the same, but it would be wrong. Jase pondered that it might help for the moment, but later? But they could talk about it. Jase swallowed the lump in his throat to give him an answer.
"I... made the same mistake. That last mission on Eden Prime..." And now he saw the result sitting next to him and Jase knew how his Kaidan must have felt after he had disappeared.
Kaidan shook his head in despair.
"What do I do Jase... How can I go on..."
The urge to lay his arm around him, comforting him, was intense but he kept himself in check, no reason to add more pressure and misery. Kaidan didn't need it. And truth be told, Jase didn't need it either. The hastily patched up wound from losing Kaidan and his world was still fresh and something Jase knew wouldn't heal easily.
"You do what I did. You start to piece your life back together and ... move on." Jase was watching him. "She wouldn't want you to give up."
Kaidan shook his head a little.
"She was my wife Jase. I can't just let her go like.... like an one night stand."
Jase reached around and made him look at him. "Kaidan...! I'm sorry if this sounded wrong." That was the last thing on his mind to downplay their relationship, knowing how much they meant to each other. He was beginning to understand why Kaidan had been avoiding him, it was easier than dealing with this. In a way Jase now wished he hadn't seen him today. Because, in this moment he knew he still loved him, too.
"I don't want you to give up. I don't want you to! I want you to mourn and grief for me, just never give up!" Maybe this would give him a little bit of help.
Kaidan wrung his hands together.
"Don't take this wrong Jase... but I've made a decision. The Alliance has offered me a promotion. I'm going to take it. I don't know where they'll send me but if it's away from the Citadel and all of these memories... I'll take it."
Jase nodded, he figured as much. It was the right thing to do after all.
"I don't. It's good you do. I'm done with them though, they won't listen to me. They question everything I say. Just.. keep in touch. Okay?"
Kaidan bit his lip.
"I... I can't guarantee I will... but I'll think about it, I promise you that."
Nodding, Jase got off the floor and held out his hand for him. "Come on Kaidan."
Kaidan stood up with Jase's help but his eyes were empty of life.
"I...I'll see you around Jase.. maybe.." He walked off, his head bowed.
Jase watched him leave and he had the sinking feeling this was the last time he had seen and spoken to Kaidan. The realization was crushing, it felt as if he was back on earth and all alone. Half of his family was once again shattered, home gone, their crew scattered across the galaxy and Kaidan...
Jase turned and walked into the opposite direction. He should go to his new "home", the one he shared with Joker. But he wasn't sure at all about his feelings towards him. While he liked him a lot and cared a great deal about him Jase wasn't sure right now if he was in love. Or maybe his feelings were just acting up, remembering the times when he was about to say the magic words which had been more than once. Or maybe he just blamed him for Saya's death. For this mess.
Joker was banging things when Jase got back, trying to keep himself busy.
Jase could hear the sounds coming through the door before he opened it. A part of him liked coming home to Joker, as if it was just another ordinary day. After closing the door Jase slipped out of his shoes and hung up his jacket then followed the noise.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to fix this stupid busted news thing." He sighed heavily. "So... I was grounded today."
"Great. And I quit when they questioned my mental state of mind. Let me fix it," Jase said and turned it around. After a while he looked at him quickly.
"Ran into Kaidan today."
Joker raised his eyebrows.
"Really? How's he doing??"
Jase just shook his head. "Not good. But he's trying." He closed the panel and switched it back on and watched the thing flare back into life. "There you go."
Joker was watching him silently.
"And what about us? I feel like you're starting to drift away from me.."
Jase looked at him for a second then thought about it. Saya was dead because Joker hadn't abandoned ship, and yet he had the reputation of the best pilot of the galaxy. He was angry with him for this, he should have known better. Mistakes happen, he knew that much, only this time it had cost Saya's life. But maybe it had been his own fault too and he shouldn't have said anything at all. Now he was standing in a tiny apartment and instead of fighting the Reapers their world had fallen apart. After spending nearly a week in hospital and being released to an unknown future, he found it hard to cope with the death of Saya. It was like he himself had died and he should have been there to prevent it. And he knew he was to blame as well.
"Jeff....I haven't been myself lately."
Joker sat down, watching him.
"Yeah, tell me about it. I mean hell, after what we went through... and then you lose your sister and Alenko lost his wife.. I mean... it's harsh. And then no one on the Citadel believes a word any of us say.. Jase I just want to know if you still love me... if you ever loved me..."
There was some truth to it and Jase knew it, but that Joker doubted he had ever loved him? It was wrong, because Jase knew he did.
"What about you, Jeff?" Jase asked and took the free spot next to him on their couch. "I'd go through hell for you."
Joker's eyes never left Jase.
"I love you. I've loved you since the first time you sat in the cockpit with me."
Jase looked at him all the time, remembering when he had stolen his hat and kept it, having felt so happy. Or when he had been teasing him. Saya had gone and rescued him, she had given her life for Joker. He wasn't going to throw this away. No, he wouldn't. If he did, he would betray his sister even more, make hear death meaningless.
Jase leaned in and kissed him gently before he broke the kiss and told him the truth which he felt at this moment. "I love you, Jeff."
Joker smiled and started kissing him.
"Wait wait wait... before we get into that... don't you want dinner?"
"You were cooking?" Jase asked softly, resting his forehead on his.
Joker closed his eyes at the contact.
"Yeah.. I needed something to do since I can't fly anymore."
"Then we can't let it go to waste," Jase smiled at him.
Joker nodded and was silent for a few minutes.
"There's something else I want to talk to you about... something... well big."
"I'm all ears Jeff," Jase replied while kissing him again. Well, maybe dinner could wait, he could heat it up again.
Joker started to look nervous.
"There's this... well I guess it's kind of experimental... surgery.."
Jase watched him with his intense blue eyes. "You don't have to do this for me Jeff. You're fine the way you are."
Joker shook his head a bit.
"It wouldn't just be for you. It'd be for me. And it's just a leg thing but I'd be able to walk better. The thought of no crutches Jase... well it would mean everything to me."
"I understand. How experimental is it. I wouldn't like you taking the risk and it doesn't work out."
Joker winced a bit and bit his lip.
"Very experimental."
"Sounds very risky. Jeff, look at me." He touched his face gently. "We'll look into this, together. For now, I want to love you."
Joker grinned and kissed him deeply. "I'm all yours. All yours."
Six months later
Jase laid on their couch, zonked out and was soon deeply asleep after his last twelve hour shift. The work with the youth from the streets was hard. He never had considered it being so demanding. But he should have known better from his own past in his gang. Yet his knowledge proved to be very helpful in understanding their structure, needs and ways of thinking. Not long and he gave them hope and a purpose for their life.
Not long after he had last seen Kaidan he had helped building up a small camp in the middle of the worst ward, creating a small centre where he was teaching kids some basic knowledge, sports and, most important, respect. At first he often doubted it was going to help. But when he could reach one child - it was worth it and filled him with pride
People had given him a helping hand too, he could do the same. And by far, most of those kids soaked up his words and followed him. There were a few challenges though but he wasn't giving in. Sometimes the kids acting most rough where those who just needed some love and gentle pushing after cracking through their shell. All of this filled him with sheer pride.
That's how Joker and his guest found him when they entered their small apartment. Jase laying on his belly, quietly snoring away on the couch, right arm hanging limply down, shoes discarded in front of it and still clad in his jeans, socks and grey t-shirt. The leather jacket was to be found on the back of the couch.
Miranda raised her eyebrow and looked sharply at Joker. "This is Commander Shepard's brother?"
Joker made a face as he saw the state Jase was in.
"Yeeeah hang on a second... uhm feel free to grab a drink or something." He watched Miranda raise an eyebrow but she got the hint and disappeared for him.
Joker went over to Jase and sighed softly, he hated having to do this.
"Jase... Jase wake up... there's someone here to see us and... uhm... she has news... please wake up come on...."
Jase groaned and muttered something under his breath at Joker's persistent waking. He crawled up onto all fours and looked at him bleary eyed.
"'sup."
Joker winced.
"Okay uhm... well good news is I found someone who can help with the leg thing. Bad news is you're not gonna like who it is."
Miranda came strolling into the room.
"You need to check the stock of your refrigerator, it doesn't smell that good."
She looked at Jase.
"Hi there, I'm Miranda Lawson."
Joker held his hands up as Jase saw the insignia on her shirt.
"Jase wait, please, there's more... they... they have the Commander." Joker's eyes were pleading with his mate.
Jase narrowed his eyes and looked from Joker to that woman and back to Jeff and again at her. He got up fully and stood ramrod straight with his arms crossed and studied her.
"I take it you don't know good cheese can smell? Or did you find my socks." He walked over to her and looked down, intimidating her. "Why the hell should I listen to some Cerberus cat-woman."
Miranda stood her ground.
"Depends on if you want your sister alive or not."
Jase didn't like that at all. This woman bringing up Saya and making fun of her.
"Don't you dare...," he growled at her and stared for a long time into her eyes. It surprised him that she never looked away and kept staring back. Such a strong minded woman this Miranda Lawson was.
"My sister is dead. You owe her more than that."
Miranda didn't even blink as he tried to stare her down.
"What if I told you she wasn't dead? That we, Cerberus, were bringing her back to life."
Joker touches Jase's hand gently.
"Jase, I've seen her."
Jase was about to reply with ' Bullshit!', but when Joker said this, he looked at him. Saya had gotten spaced, whatever they had found of her couldn't have been much. How would he be able to recognize her at all?
"Show me your proof. And it better be good."
Miranda nodded a bit.
"Will you come with me to view the Lazarus project?"
After giving her another glare and careful look of consideration Jase nodded. But just to be sure he was going to take his weapon with him. He did not trust her. And especially not Cerberus. Whatever they were doing with Saya's body.... if they were mauling her for no good reason he was going to take her body with him and bring her home for good.
"How long will we be gone?" Jase asked, needed to see if he had to call in to his work and let the people know he'd be out of town for a few days and he needed to pack a few things.
Joker bit his lip again.
"We could be gone awhile Jase, they're gonna do my legs while we're there."
Jase looked at him for a few seconds then back at Miranda Lawson, effectively dismissing her.
"Excuse us please for a minute."
Jase nodded towards their couch and sat down with Joker.
"What's going on here Jeff," he said softly.
Joker rubbed his thighs nervously.
"I saw her Jase... she's already breathing. There's a lot of damage to her body but they're repairing her piece by piece. There's going to be some cybernetics involved but that can't be helped. Then they heard what I was looking into and now they want to help me too. Please come with us up there... see for yourself."
Jase stared at him for a while, not trusting this peace. The way Joker spoke nearly caused him to think they had brainwashed his man. And now they even baited him with surgery for his legs? This really screamed "wrong!" loud and clear at him. A good enough reason to check it out though and investigate what the devils called Cerberus had come up with this time.
"All right, we'll go. But I have to talk to the kids. Can't just disappear, they'd think I let them down." Jase sighed a little, this was going to be another problem. He hated having to leave them alone. But at least he could tell them something and make sure they'd call or message him if they needed someone to talk. And, if what Joker thought to be true was indeed true, he hoped Kaidan would answer his messages finally.
Miranda raised an eyebrow.
"Please hurry then, we must get back as soon as possible. I prefer to monitor Commander Shepard's progress myself."
She left their home.
Joker stared after her and shook his head.
"Man she needs to loosen up. Want me to come with you to see the kiddies?"
Jase stared icily at the spot where she had been last. "She doesn't respect any privacy." He gently padded Joker's leg. "Yeah, come on then. They have been asking for you anyway."
Later the day, Jase was getting some of their clothes packed and also readied his gun. "And you really want to do that, letting them fix your legs. You remember the shit they did with the AI and Admiral Kahoku, right?"
Joker nodded, watching Jase pack their stuff.
"I remember, don't worry. I'm going into this with my eyes wide open. And they were even wider when I saw the Commander. I want my legs working so that if my Commander needs help while they have her on that table, then at least she has it. I don't plan on letting her die again."
"Yeah. You don't get a second chance like that just to throw it away again. What if she isn't the same as before though. What if.. her soul..," he frowned and zipped up their case. "Has the ice queen said anything else, why contact you, us?"
Joker crossed his arms, a grin on his face.
"Because someone important wanted them to. This someone has also told them that the Commander has to be the exact same as she was before she died - mentally and physically. Otherwise this big backer will come after them and there'll be hell to pay. And Lawson is scared stiff of the backer."
"Lawson can go to hell for all I care. There's nothing but ice left under her skin. But whoever it is, they make sure Saya's the way I remember her or I am going to bring them down. Hell, I should bring them down anyway." Jase said and gave him a quick kiss before he took the case and helped Joker into his jacket. Taking their hats off the hook he looked at them and sighed softly as he held out Joker's.
"I miss the good old days on the Normandy."
Joker took his hat and put it on.
"You're not the only one, believe me. I miss my baby."
Jase smirked at him at this. "Glad I'm not your baby. Come on, let's go."
Seven months later
The station they were on was somewhere out in the Terminus System. They didn't tell him where exactly Saya actually was, but Jase wanted proof and wasn't going to give in easily. Now he sat in his chair, elbows resting on a desk they had given him and was watching the feeds Ms. Lawson kindly had allowed him to see. The constant swirl and buzz of machines working on her was astonishing. After he had gotten over the shock of seeing only scarred flesh and tubes on that table, he couldn't stop watching it.
He needed to get in touch with Kaidan, needed to tell the man there was hope, but what would he tell him? Hi Kaidan, your wife is with Cerberus, laying on a table and they are bringing her back from the dead? What a low blow this would be to the man. Jase himself couldn't get used to the very idea to actually work with Cerberus. It was wrong. Them bringing her back put Saya into the situation of having no choice at all and that was bad. Jase picked up his cold coffee, drank the rest and grimaced at the taste.
The whole situation didn't sit well with him either. They were effectively blackmailing them emotionally. And he wondered how far he himself would go to bring someone back from the dead. Someone he cared about a great deal and he knew he was already in this situation. Him sitting here, watching these feeds was proof enough. Jase felt dirty and used. There was something he was glad about though, them not knowing or mentioning him being from another reality. Jase knew he'd rather die before he'd allow them to use him as a lab rat. Checking the time once more Jase wondered how much longer it would take Joker to come back.
Joker walked into the room and watched Jase staring at the live feed from where the Commander was being repaired.
"Jase... it's almost time for the first round."
"Yeah, on my way." At that very moment, as he stood up and looked at Joker, Jase knew they both had been bought. Tricked into hoping for a better life, giving them something precious.
Joker met Jase's eyes.
"It's the only way to protect her."
Jase nodded eventually and touched his back then briefly.
"Yeah, come on. Let's get your legs fixed..."
Nine months later
Two months later and Jase was sitting at Joker's side, watching him coping and dealing with the pain he was in and trying his hardest to cheer him up a bit. He was often surprised when Joker told him he had been through this before and assured him it was worth it. Between the surgeries and adjustments, augments and whatever it was they put into Joker's legs, Jase contacted Ms. Lawson, demanding to know how much longer it will take them to bring Saya back. The answer wasn't satisfying, nearly another year she had replied.
Staring at the message in front of him, Jase was thinking hard of an adequate answer for one of his kids, knowing very well Cerberus was monitoring the messages he received and sent out. Jase yawned and rubbed his face, he was too worn out to give a satisfying answer, the teen really deserved one and he shut it off before looking back at Joker's sleeping form. They were nearly done with his legs.
Joker opened his eyes, breathing hard.
"Jase? Are you there?" He closed his eyes again, aware of the pain in his voice that still came through.
Jase moved his chair closer and laid his hand on his face. "I'm here. Bad again?"
Joker nodded, biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed.
"I'm... sorry I suggested this..."
"Shh. You said it yourself, it's worth it. Once this is all done, you can dance with me, take a walk. Have better sex...," he grinned a little, baiting him. Last time it had been bad too and they had made it through. Now it was done, after this they could go back home to the Citadel and wait until Lawson would tell them it's time.
Joker smiled a little.
"I swear you have sex on the brain."
Jase chuckled softly, knowing it had worked. "What can I say? I'm just an ordinary guy."
Two years later
The next year went by very fast. Jase was keeping himself busy with the children, took Joker out a lot more often and enjoyed being able to actually walk with him without crutches. Following doctor's orders he took him once a week to the pools. If it hadn't been for the knowledge of joining up a Cerberus vessel, that the Reapers were still out there and Saya being brought back to life, Jase would have considered to just keep living this normal ordinary life.
The only other thing which really bugged him was he couldn't get in touch with Kaidan. Every single message he had sent had stayed unanswered. Jase knew he had to tell him in person about Saya, not wanting to risk any possible leak of this knowledge. He felt crushed when he pulled up his messages from the last day and saw the last message had been returned, the address had been invalid.
"Damn it!" he swore softly.
Joker looked over.
"Still can't get in touch with him? Wonder what he's doing.."
"Avoiding me, that's what he's doing. I remind him too much of Saya." Jase sighed and rubbed his face again in frustration. There wasn't any other way he could use. Not even Anderson's door was open for him anymore.
"There is one good news, ONE. And he all but goes out to avoid me completely!"
Joker was watching Jase's terminal as it started blinking.
"You.. ah... have a message."
Jase grunted a little and pulled it up to read it.
It's time.
Jase turned around to look at Joker. "Come on handsome, there's a new adventure waiting."
Joker rubbed his hands together with a grin.
"Yahoo, ride em cowboy." He saw Jase's look. "Too much?"
A snort was the only answer, aside of a kiss Joker got. At least they were prepared and their stuff was already packed, just waiting for the message.