Chapter Text
velleity (noun): a wish or inclination not strong enough to lead to action
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The air was crisp that morning. Ami hated mornings, it was far too cold, too quiet, too hungry, too untouched and too void of humans. It unsettled her, preferring the bustling nature of the afternoons, and peace in the sunsets. The night was just as crisp as the morning, but there was comfort in the darkness. She avoided mornings as best she could, but today was different. She had no choice, really.
Ami sat on her front porch steps, breathing heavily, watching her exhales create puffs of white air in front of her. The rest of District 11 was still waking up, the sheer stress and anticipation of the day hardly let anyone sleep, anyway. Today was the day of the reaping.
The actual reaping was later in the afternoon, with the day given off to everyone to rest up and sleep in, but Ami had hardly been able to sleep the entire night. Charlie, her older brother, was finally done with reapings, turning nineteen just 3 months earlier. When the male tribute for their district was called the previous year, their father had visibly relaxed. At least one of his two kids was safe. Still, none of them dared to get too comfortable: Ami still had three years left.
Ami rubbed her hands together nervously, already raw and red from climbing trees. Most kids her age didn’t work, but both Ami and Charlie spent their after school hours with their dad in the fields. It was the only way for them to make ends meet. Her hands ached as she rubbed them together, but she continued, trying to distract herself.
Her eyes ran up the edges of the walls trapping everyone inside the district, covering half the skies. The poorest of District 11 lived along the edges of the wall, including Ami and her family. The Mayor’s son tried scaling the wall a few years ago, likely trying to show off to his friends, only to fall off and snap his left leg in three different places. Maybe he was onto something. Maybe I should-
Before Ami’s thoughts could get the best of her, Charlie walked out the front door, cutting her thoughts off and taking the empty seat next to her. He took her clenched hands into his, slowly unfurling her fingers one by one. She turned her body slightly in his direction, her eyes on his hands. When he was done, he enclosed her hands in his instead of letting go. The warmth from his hands flooded her cold ones.
“You’re shaking.”
Ami looked down. Charlie was right.
“I didn’t notice.” Even after acknowledging it, her body didn’t stop shaking. How could it? The reaping loomed over her head, and this year she would be up there entirely alone. Charlie would be completely out of reach, alongside her father.
Charlie’s grip tightened. “You’re going to be okay.”
She looked up at him. His eyes were big and full of sadness. It reminded her of their father. Realistically, they both knew there was no guarantee behind his statement. Last year, both of them had their names in the pot at least 30 times combined, taking as much extra tesserae as they could. This year, Ami had over 20 slips all by herself. The odds were not, and would never, be in their favor.
She plastered a smile on her face.
“Right.”
Her voice mirrored her body, shaking as she spoke. Charlie, seeing right through it, let her hands go and pulled her to his chest, engulfing her in a hug. His face was pressed into her hair, placing a small kiss on top while her hands wound tightly around him, hugging him as if she would never get to again, scared to let go.
She wished that morning could have lasted forever.