Chapter Text
Satoru never even wanted to be a father, nor did he want to have kids. The distinction here is of utmost importance because half of the kids he has under his arm found themselves there because someone wanted kids but wasn’t ready to be a father. Consequently, Satoru had to step up.
When he agreed to play house with Suguru and the kids, he thought of them as protégées, little sisters and brothers he never wished for but wouldn’t have hated. However, his fate was sealed the day a small girl, slowly healing from her emotional wounds and trauma tugged on his pants with her tiny hand and called him “Dad”. At first it made him feel old, then angry (at Suguru), then uncomfortable but as he’s sitting on the floor and watching her and her twin sister sleep, he suddenly doesn’t mind the feeling anymore. He slowly stands up and reaches for the door, but glances one last time at the cute little heads that are half buried in the huge blanket, before making his exit.
“Is everyone asleep?” Suguru, book in hand, asks him once he crosses the doorstep to the room they share.
“Yes. Mimiko fell asleep twenty minutes ago I think,” he answers.
“So why didn’t you leave then?” his partner inquires, eyes still focused on the small characters of his novel.
“I like watching them sleep. It’s relaxing,” he shrugs before sitting on the bed, next to Suguru who closes his book and extends his arms.
“Come here, Dad,” he jokes. Whenever one of them acts too fatherly or protective the other makes it his mission to humble him. That’s how they preserve their sanity, their youth.
“Shut up, Papa,” Satoru retaliates as he climbs unto his partner’s lap to pull him in a deep kiss. Moments of intimacy are as fleeting as the rays of sun in winter, but they hold unto the dear silver linings before they slip away forever.
Suguru’s hands travel up and down Satoru’s back, as if to soothe him, then under the cumbersome t-shirt he’s wearing to get him naked. He kisses him some more, basking into the sweet scent and taste that sustain his heart and soul.
“You forgot my shorts,” Satoru pants as his partner devours his exposed neck.
“Why so impatient?” he breathes against Satoru’s skin, dampened by the lewd, wet kisses he peppered it with. “We have all the time in the world.”
Except they don’t.
“Papa?”
They both freeze at the small voice but Suguru’s reflexes, sharp as ever, don’t waste a second. They act on the spot, and to Satoru’s huge misfortune, Suguru pushes him violently from his lap, sends him falling, flying off the bed.
“Yes, Baby girl?” Suguru smiles at sweet little Nanako as he quickly fixes his hair and wrinkled t-shirt, hoping she didn’t see where his hands were rested and not even bothering to verify if Satoru is still alive. He extends his hand to invite her closer and watches tenderly as she abandons herself in his loving arms.
“I had a nightmare,” the poor girl sniffles against his shoulder. Suguru embraces her tightly as if to stop the horrors of the world to seep into her young mind.
“Do you want to talk about it?” a no longer nude and thankfully alive Satoru asks from the side of the bed. His head pops up suddenly from under the bed and Suguru almost feels sorry for kicking him out of it at the speed of light. He climbs up to join the family hug and leaves a kiss on Nanako’s damp cheek.
She shakes her head. “Can I sleep with you guys tonight?” she asks shyly. Which isn't really like her.
“Of course, Baby doll,” Satoru ruffles her hair a little bit to make her laugh and she does. So very gently but loudly enough to make them both swoon.
Satoru never even wanted to be a father, nor did he want to have kids. But even though he misses his sex life, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
In their chosen, makeshift home, milestones are extremely important, and tomorrow will be a big day: Nanako and Mimiko will be starting school and of course everyone is excited about it. Satoru bought a huge cake and tons of candy to celebrate the big event: less kids at home, more chances to have sex without getting cock blocked. The mere idea is enough to make him drool on his afternoon snack as he leaves the kitchen. Nanako is sat on the floor, crayons in hand. Satoru smiles at her serious posture.
“Nana, what are you drawing?” he asks before crouching to the little girl’s level to study her art. He puts a piece of the donut in her mouth and watched her little face illuminate at the sweet gesture. However, the beauty of the moment is short lived. His jaw drops to the floor and hits the wood in tandem with the rest of his snack. “Can you please show me your other drawings?” he asks after he regains the ability to speak.
The little girl complies in silence. She stands up, sprints to her room, and comes back with a small pile of drawings that she presents to Satoru’s curious and horrified eyes.
“Does Dad like it?”, she asks with a smiley face.
“Suguru!” he screeches.
Satoru is pacing to and fro to calm his nerves and irrigate his brain, but his endless promenade has only succeeded in distressing Suguru further.
“Are vou sure she made these?” Suguru inquires, as he studies the portfolio with shaky hands.
“I saw it with my own eyes,” he come closer to Suguru to stare into his eyes.” With my own eyes,” he says again, holding his boyfriend’s collar like they’re about to get into a fight.
Suguru removes the aggressive hands and straightens his shirt.
“What are we gonna do, Satoru?” he asks,” Should we see a therapist?”
“I am not leaving my five-year-old daughter in a mad house.” Satoru interjects, finger pointed accusingly towards his partner.
“You’re so sexy when you do that,” Suguru swoons. Celibacy really is hell.
Satoru kicks him lightly with his foot. “Suguru, please be serious,” he scolds.
“I’m trying to, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who can help,”
They look at each other when the same idea crosses both their minds. (the advantages of sharing a single braincell)
“Shoko!” they say in unison.
“Did you guys seriously make me come all the way just because a kid is drawing sad stuff?”
“Shoko do you not see how tormented she seems?” Satoru cries against the wall.
Shoko stares at the drawing, thinking she might have missed something, something that could justify the state in which they are. Suguru is sat on the chair, rocking his body slowly to calm his nerves but his curse energy is all over the place and a sense of impending doom has contaminated the entire room.
“She’s just drawing herself crying in front of a building. She’s clearly upset about something but it’s not like she’s drawing y’all having sex or something like that. Have you guys tried…Speaking with her?” Shoko asks her friends.
“…..”
She stands up instantly. “Have a nice day and please refrain from calling me in the future.”
They both wave at her shyly but she doesn’t wave back.
“Sugu,” Satoru yields after a minute of heavy silence. “Why didn’t we ask her?” he turns to face his other half. The half that was supposed to redeem them both.
“Because” Suguru swallows. “They’ve been through so much before I found them and it was really difficult at the beginning,” Satoru places his hand on his shoulder, gently strokes him to display support.” But lately, everything has changed. They seem so much happier together…And I thought we were out of the woods, but it looks like I was wrong. It looks like we failed,” he almost chokes on the last words.
Satoru leaves Suguru’s side and places himself in front of him, his hand still on his shoulder. Then he kneels. “You’re being too harsh on yourself. You too have been through all different types of hell lately and you should allow yourself to make mistakes. We’re still kids and yet we’re raising kids,” he laughs softly. “It makes no sense whatsoever, but it’s our life and I think we’re living it to the fullest.”
“I love you.” Suguru holds his hand and kisses the back of it.
“I know.”
“Should I go first?” Suguru asks. They’re both hiding behind the kitchen door, observing their target.
“We should go together” Satoru takes his hand.” We’re a team after all. Aren’t we?”
“You’re right,” Suguru looks at him fondly before giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.” I love you,” he declares as they approach their little artist.
“Nana, can we speak with you?” Satoru sits on the floor, to be at her level.
“Of course.” she smiles.
“Is everything doing alright?” Suguru begins,” You seem upset. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I was stressed about starting school, but I talked it over with Big brother Megumi and I’m not scared anymore?”
Megumi?
They share a quick glance.
“Oh. Is that so?” the raven says. Bewildered. Satoru I so lost that he doesn’t add anything at the conversation. “Megumi?”, “It was that easy?” he whispers to himself but Suguru doesn’t comment on it.
“Yup.”
“Then I suppose we can all celebrate tomorrow after you guys come back from school?”
“That would be nice,” she beams.
“Where are your siblings by the way?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs her tiny shoulders. “They’re not my kids,” then leaves.
Suguru and Satoru stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, then at the off-white wall.
“Maybe we’ve been doing a better job with Megumi than we thought?” Satoru says.
“Maybe we’ve just been humiliated by a literal five-year-old,” his better half comments.
“Yeah,” they sigh in unison.