Chapter Text
AEGON
Aegon wanted to quietly groan as his sister stormed off their Father's rooms, obviously upset at his words. He knew that Rhaenyra wanted to wed their Uncle, but what the King had never understood about his daughter, is that she wanted to be the one holding the reins of her own life, instead of having choices being made for her .
It had taken Aegon so much time to understand this facet of his sister's personality - he had found her spoiled during his first life, thinking that she could get away with anything, as she was King Viserys' favourite. During his time in the afterlife, he had the clarity to understand that his sister, while spoiled as any Prince or Princess of the Blood, was also extremely aware of her duty. She had married to appease the King and help fix his problems with the Velaryons, and when the issue of not having heirs came up, she found a way to have them even if her husband had preferred a man in his bed.
They were all wrapped in a net of duties to family and Kingdom, and the weakness of King Viserys towards the Lords of the Realm only made that net be ever tighter over his heirs and family. When all options were wrong, how could you make it right? And it was exactly because of this that the dragons danced against each other. They were put against each other for the ambitions of others - for more and more power, for people to be able to dictate the lives of the whole realm.
When he had asked the Fourteen for help, because he knew that winning his father over would be a difficult thing, he didn't anticipate his father being this tactless. The Gods definitely had a soft spot for him and his sisters, as they sent an overly elaborate dream to Viserys. It had only helped that he was able to go to his Father's chambers at just the right moment, when Viserys was still reeling from the nightmare, and use his big baby eyes in his favour - his Father had been properly terrified of making the Dragons die, of being the ruin of his family, and had started planning accordingly, and in the exact direction that Aegon wanted it to go. His delivery of said plan, however, had gone over poorly.
He left Daemon and his father speaking in hushed tones behind, making a beeline for his sister's rooms. He knew that she would either be there or in the Godswood, the two places that no one was likely to ever bother her. Aegon was vaguely aware of his Kingsguard following him, but he was completely focused on finding Rhaenyra. He knew that if left alone for too long, his stubborn sister would end up doing something just to spite their Father - and he couldn't have her running away on Syrax or bedding a Kingsguard again.
Aegon fortunately found Rhaenyra in her rooms, his sister dejectedly taking away the hairpins from her hair, not a handmaiden or a Lady-in-waiting in sight. He sighed, wanting to both pinch his sister into wakefulness to the world around her, and to hug her close. To ask for solitude had always been Rhaenyra's default mode of protecting herself, but what she had never understood was how this isolated her from people who would have her as an ally, and those she needed as allies. He finally decided to tug at her skirts, silently asking to be lifted to her arms. She gave him a sad smile, letting him sit in her lap.
"Was it really not only a nightmare, little brother?" Rhaenyra softly asked him, hands softly caressing his hair. He shook his head, confirming that it had been real, only to watch as her eyes filled with unshed tears. His panic must have been visible in his face, as Rhaenyra let out a wet giggle, poking him in his nose. "Am I doomed to never have a choice in life, brother? To only be a royal womb, even as Heir?"
Aegon frowned, trying to figure out a way of speaking what was running through his mind with the words of an almost two years old. He struggled for a few minutes, but made sure to stand up in his sister's lap and hold her cheeks in his chubby hands. Rhaenyra left him, as if seeing something in his eyes that he couldn't articulate yet.
"Father… loves you, Nyra. He just…" Aegon paused, frown deepening as he tried to move his tongue in the correct way to form the complex words. "Says a lot and not". Aegon completed, not entirely satisfied with it. He hoped his sister would understand him, and by the faraway look in her eyes, he thought she might.
"You're correct, little brother. Although I'm not sure if he loves me, or the idea of me."
"Nyra marries Da'mon?" He asked her, needing to be sure of it. If she absolutely declined the idea, and her very heart, he was sure he could find someone who wouldn't usurp her for their own heirs, or worse, to put him in the throne. It would take longer, and there was always the risk that the King would force Rhaenyra to wed Daemon in the meantime, but it was a better situation than marrying her off to Laenor again, and backing his sister into an impossible situation to fix.
"Yes. For me, because I love him dearly and my heart is pulled to his heart as if they were two flames of Old Valyria. I could probably find happiness with some other Lord, but why hurt my own heart just to spite Father? I'll not be made less, however. I will not let Father push me around as all the Lords do with their daughters. Noble wombs, led straight to slaughter and unhappiness just because men want more power. Even your mother, little one, was used as a stepping stone for the greed of your Grandfather." Rhaenyra whispered the last part against his hair, hugging him close.
Aegon smiled against his sister's shoulder, relief coursing through his body. He still had so much to figure out - he needed to see his Mother, outside of Otto's influence, and without the flush of fever over her features. He didn't know if he could ever truly forgive her. It was easier to forgive Rhaenyra, and even Daemon, for they had never truly known him. But his Mother had birthed him, and yet, had not loved him. She had loved Aemond, and had been fond of Helaena, even with her oddities, but not him. He had been her shame and her disgrace, and he had learned that she had suffered at her Father's hands because he was not as a Heir and future King should be, in his first life.
But in his heart, he still could not find in himself to completely forget everything she had ever screeched at him. The pain had been dulled, both by time and by the understanding given to him by the Fourteen of Valyria, but he had woken up to bruises and pinches, in his soft baby skin. He had done nothing wrong yet, so how could she hate him so much, enough to not only not love him, but also to hate him?
Aegon had no answer to his own questions, and the Gods had been silent, only telling him that he needed to work out his feelings on his own. He was nowhere closer to figuring it out than when he woke up, but the soft embrace of his sister helped him. He was not alone anymore. Even if he and his mother could never find peace, he had a family in his sister and his newly returned siblings, who would never know pain and hurt of the same kind as they had known in their first lives again.
This would have to be enough.