Chapter Text
In one world, Iroh watches his brother raise a burning hand to a child’s face. In that world, Iroh stands in the audience for the farce of a duel as a boy refuses to fight and begs his father for forgiveness. He watches as a father cups in his son’s face with a flaming hand in a cruel mockery of a loving caress. As the fire catches, Iroh turns his face away and shuts his eyes tightly against the screams of a boy he loves like his own. He cannot bring himself to watch, but he stays. He stays and fury burns in his heart. When the flames on his nephew’s face are finally snuffed an infinite time later, Iroh forces himself to face the arena again and watches in disbelief as the Firelord sentences his own son to banishment for the laughable offense of cowardice. As his fury swells, Iroh wonders if attempting to strike the Firelord down might be worth the risk.
In that world, Firelord Ozai relishes in his victory, not in winning the duel, for that had never been in question, but in finally having the chance to be rid of his useless offspring. As he banishes his useless heir, his eyes flick towards his daughter, the prodigy, the one who has always been his heir in mind and in spirit, and who will now soon become his heir in truth once and for all. However, as he looks over the audience to find his daughter, his gaze also catches on Iroh, and as fire, threat, and danger flare in those eyes, eyes which oversaw the Siege of Ba Sing Se and the death of the last dragon, he makes a sudden decision. Without hesitation or any sign that it had not been his plan from the beginning, he announces a return condition for Zuko’s banishment. Of course, it is an impossible condition, the avatar is little more than an ancient legend after all, a story to frighten young children, but it works. The flames shutter in the eyes of the Dragon of the West and the danger fades from them to be replaced with plans. (Iroh had always been a planner.)
In the following days, Iroh works from sunrise to sunset, calling in favors, threatening nobles, bribing officials, and playing the court like never before, but it works. By the time that Zuko is awake, Iroh has prepared a ship, a crew, supplies, and the promise of funding. The ship is ancient and rickety, the crew rough, and both the supplies and funding meager, but it is something. Combined with Iroh’s own presence, maybe, just maybe, it will keep his nephew alive and well until he can find his own path.
In that world, Zuko wakes to a painful aftermath of a severe burn and the crushing humiliation of a banishment, yes, but he is also given a way to finally prove himself to his father as he has always dreamed. He has a mission entrusted to him alone, and a ship ready and prepared by an uncle who will go with him. Hope burns in him, rekindling the coals of his strained loyalty and flaring them into an obsessive need to regain the honor his father says he has lost. The return condition is seen as impossible by most, but Zuko doesn’t believe that, can’t believe that, and so he sets off with almost fanatic determination.
But that is not this world. In this world, when Ozai burns his only son, his heir, for the crime of having honor, when screams fill the area and the air is laced with the repugnant scent of burning flesh, when the son of Iroh’s heart writhes in agony, Iroh does not trust his self-control. His face is turned away and his eyes tightly shut, but his other senses paint the horrible scene across his eyelids in vivid detail. When the temptation to strike his brother down and damn the consequences grows almost too strong to resist, Iroh whirls away, shoves through the crowd, and flees. Flees because he cannot save the boy groveling in the arena, flees because here is another boy he has loved desperately and failed utterly, flees because if he attacks the Firelord right then, he will be branded a traitor, and almost certainly killed. In addition, if he knows his brother, Ozai will be ready and waiting for an attack, making it unlikely for such a thing to succeed. No, better he remove himself before his tenuous control snaps and he does something he would likely not regret.
In this world, when Ozai scans the crowd in triumph, Iroh has already left. He is not glaring down with threats burning in his eyes and smoke curling at his wrists. As a result, Ozai does not offer that last-second, back-handed mercy. There are no return conditions for Zuko. His banishment is irreversible. While frantic healers work to save what they can of Zuko’s face, Iroh continues to run, getting far away from the palace and the horrors within. He does not trust himself in the palace and courts. He does not trust himself to hold back both flame and tongue in the face of Ozai’s cruelty, Azula’s gloating, and Zuko’s desperate, heartbreaking courage. And so, Iroh goes to stay with an old friend in a manor house by the coast, and buries his grief and self-loathing in gardening, tea-making, and games of Pai Sho. He will return once emotions have settled, and he can control himself again. But news comes slowly to this remote place, and Iroh does not learn of Zuko’s banishment until almost a month and a half later, long after the boy has left, and far too late for him to be of any help.
In this world, Zuko wakes to a debilitating burn and a permanent banishment with no hope and no help. There is no mission for him to cling to, and no uncle to support and care for him while he gets his feet back under him. He is left with only the searing agony of a fresh burn eclipsed by the realization that he is completely, entirely, alone. His father has mutilated him and cast him away to die for trying to protect his people, to be a good son and heir. This realization hardens something inside him and he finally gives up on trying to live up to his father’s expectations. Exiled and disowned, there is no hope for that anymore and Zuko changes. Gone is the boy who loved his father desperately and would do anything to please him, to earn a word of praise instead of the constant rebukes and disappointed stares. All that remains are the scattered pieces of a young man broken and jaded with only a stubborn determination to survive against all of the odds. (Zuko had always been a survivor regardless of the world he was in.)