Chapter Text
Barry hated the Rainbow Raider, he really did. The guy was causing a mess all over Central City, causing police to attack bystanders, starting jealous fights between best friends, even sending an entire birthday party of children running for the hills from a suddenly very depressed and disturbed clown.
Of course, Barry had tried defeating him the same way as before but, well, that hadn’t gone as well as he’d expected when Captain Cold happened to show up at just the same time.
“What are you doing here Cold!?” Barry questioned, eyes flicking unnaturally fast between the Raider and Cold.
Captain Cold smirked, lips turning up and eyes surely full of mirth even hidden under those darn goggles. “Well you see kid, Central City is going to hell in a handbasket and I, for one, don’t take kindly to my city burning to the ground. At least, not unless I’m the one that lights the match. That just wouldn’t be cool.”
A loud groan ripped through both Barry and Bivolo, the two of them even sharing a commiserating look before both remembered their places.
“Look here Cold, just leave this to me, Central City is under my protection,” Barry warned, stepping closer.
Len adopted a faux shocked expression before also moving into Barry’s space. “Oh really? And how’s that working out for Central, huh Flash? I certainly don’t remember clowns terrorizing schoolchildren when I was the biggest name in town. Maybe you should chill out and let me handle this one.”
“How dare y- I mean rea- Argh!” Barry shouted, gloved hands moving up to pull at his hair and sliding over his cowl instead, forgetting about it. “Will you please just shut up and let me do my job?”
“Maybe if you were doing a better job I wouldn’t have to come out here and do it for you Flash.”
“Um, guys?” Bivolo started, but was cut off by the bickering of the two men. Trying again, he tried to get a word in but was shouted down by the others until finally.
“WHAT?!” both Barry and Cold screamed, faces inches from each other, both practically snarling as their attention turned to Bivolo, Cold throwing his goggles down to stare at him.
“I think the both of you have some… Unresolved tension to work through, why don’t I help?” Rainbow Raider said, before flashing lights at the both of them.
Of course when Barry doesn’t come back Cisco and Caitlin get worried. Luckily enough, or so they believe, Oliver and Felicity happen to be in the city on business and they send Oliver out with a small strobe light affixed to his shoulder to stabilize anyone he comes into contact with.
And that is how the Green Arrow walks in on Barry Allen with the Flash suit around his ankles being plowed hard by Captain Cold, wearing only his parka and goggles slung low around his neck.
In the span of a few seconds Barry’s mind clears and, well, this is certainly not a situation he expected to be in. He’s thankful his mind can work at super speed too when needed because his brain quickly tries to process everything that’s going on as he watches Oliver move in slow motion to notch an arrow.
He doesn’t blame Cold, knows this wasn’t either of their choices or doing, even if it might not have happened had Cold just stayed away, but he was just as careless to let Bivolo get the drop on them. Knowing Oliver will surely kill Snart for this, even if he was just as much of a victim here, Barry says the only thing he thinks will stop Oliver.
“Wait! We, we’re, um, me and Cold are, uh, you know, uh, dating…” Barry says, and he feels Cold tense behind him.
“WHAT!?” Oliver shouts, and there is now actual spittle on Barry’s face. Spit that is not from the maddening kisses he and Snart just shared moments ago but Oliver’s furious screaming and apparent inability to say it not spray it.
Sighing, Barry speeds around, dressing himself quickly before he realizes that yes, it may be awkward, but he should probably dress Len too.
Len is quiet for the duration of Barry and Oliver’s short, tense conversation. Oliver is certainly not happy about this supposed development, but Barry can hear Felicity berating him in the background of his comm link to Cisco and Caitlin for being a hypocrite. Barry isn’t exactly sure what Felicity means, but he knows better than to ask Oliver right now. Or ever.
Afterwards Oliver seems to be slightly less murderous, and his face has faded from a matching bright red of Barry’s suit to a more neutral flushed pink. Small miracles. Stomping over towards Len, Barry wonders if he’ll need to intercede, but it appears that the Green Arrow simply wishes to congratulate them.
Oh how wrong Barry was.
The words were quiet enough eh could only catch a few but he is certain he heard very clearly “hurt him… Arrow to chest… unmarked grave… pacific ocean,” and frankly that was more than enough for Barry.
"Ok, well this has been revelatory and entirely mortifying, let’s not do it ever again, ok? Ok!” Barry says, all false pep, before speeding Snart out of there.
When he stops his eyes catch Snart’s and then they simultaneously both break out into laughter. It’s fucked up and weird and so very wrong, but then again, what about Barry’s life isn’t?
“Fast thinking there Flash. You really kept your cool under pressure,” Snart says and Barry nearly chokes on his own spit.
“God! Do you have to make everything a pun Cold?” Barry asks, exasperated, but maybe a bit breathless from laughter as well.
“It’s not every day I learn I’m dating Central City’s biggest hero, cut me some slack. I only hope one thing,” Snart says, stepping close and oh, Barry feels a little cornered right now even though they are in the middle of an empty parking lot. “Your speed doesn’t carry over into the bedroom Scarlet, that’d be an awful shame.”
Barry blushes, turning a darker red than even Oliver had, before flashing out of there. Really he should have stayed to argue, of course Len knew that wasn’t true his mind supplied. Then he remembered why Len knew that wasn’t true and he shuddered, and he honestly wasn’t sure what emotion caused it.