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Ghost looked at the white and pristine baby feather sitting innocently inside the small wooden box his mother had gifted him before his second deployment, before Roba. Simon had never opened it before, had just placed it with his belongings and promptly forgot all about it.
But now… now he wishes he didn’t.
Now, years after what happened to him in Mexico, after losing his wings, after having them ripped off from his own back. Now Simon wishes he had never ignored his mother’s worried look, the way her brittle hands combed his feathers for the last time, preening him as if he was still a babe… His mother had always been somewhat superstitious but something about that day still plagued his mind. Simon should’ve just extended his leave instead of accepting the mission, should've just stayed home and not renew his contract with the military, should've just accepted Tommy's invitation to work for his brother's father-in-law instead of going back, instead of accepting that mission.
He’s suffering the consequences of his decision now, years, maybe decades after the fact..
Becoming Ghost and ending up working for Price was inevitable, the Captain needed men that would be willing to skirt the law and do anything to get the job done, even if it meant getting their hands dirty, that was something Simon could get behind.
It also paid off that Price took his words at face value and never really looked into why Simon didn’t have any wings, just believed him on the man saying he was born without them. No one else questioned him after that, though many did call him a monster behind his back, an attack dog on a leash, ready to strike at any given moment.
Ghost shook the rumors off, even fueled some of them, creating this unwelcome and unfriendly persona to protect himself, to be left alone and at peace.
But then, Las Almas happened and Simon met someone that would change his entire perspective of the world and flip it upside down.
Simon Riley met Soap MacTavish, a Sergeant with too much confidence, absolutely zero social awareness, and a smile that could rival the sun itself. Ghost met someone that pushed his buttons to the extreme but never ignored his comfort, always stopping when Simon became overwhelmed by his positive golden retriever energy.
Ghost worked with him well, guiding the man to safety and staging a prison break afterward, the two of them working together flawlessly to complete their mission, or as Price would often say: “Like the moon and the stars, working in tandem to light up the night sky.”
Soon enough, the two became infamous for their easy cooperation and the low to no casualty missions they completed, the recruits or those assigned under the duo soon came to like them. Where Ghost would push and dish out orders relentlessly during training or missions, Soap would joke with the team and mostly turn drills into a fun game that helped the soldiers understand and overcome their failures.
Their relationship was another thing that became infamous, or more precisely, Soap’s fierce protectiveness and possessiveness over the Lieutenant and Ghost’s equal possessiveness and protectiveness over the Sergeant. No one could dare to speak ill of Ghost for fear of Soap and, in turn, no one would dare to flirt with Soap for fear of Ghost, the only exceptions were Gaz (because he was their teammate and Soap’s friend) and Major Parras of the Mexican Special Forces (because Ghost trusted and liked him)
Many soldiers under the duo’s command had even started a betting pool over their superiors' possible future marriage, although many were apprehensive to bet on it, due to Ghost’s wingless status and the many problems it could bring.
This brings Simon to where he is now, staring at his last remaining feather, one that survived due to his mother's sentimentality, the first ever feather that fell from his wings— Simon stares at it, as if the feather contains the secrets of the universe, his mind is empty, disconnected and unplugged from the world.
With the knowledge of its existence comes more unhinged and preposterous thoughts, thoughts that Ghost— that Simon himself shouldn't be thinking about.
Thoughts about an impossible future, a fantasy that can never be fulfilled in their line of work.
But Simon dreams of it nonetheless, of waking up beside Johnny, sharing lazy mornings and sleepy kisses, a ring on his finger matching the Scot's.
It might be an impossible dream but… To Simon, it's the most wonderful fantasy he can think of, more than he ever deserves, not when his hands have been soaked in more blood than a body can hold— not when he could not protect even his own family, his own mother…
A knock on his door brings the Lieutenant out of his musings and he hastily closes the little box and tries to hide it, almost managing to do it before Soap bursts through the door, already retelling a story, only to stop and stare at Simon and the box in his hand.
"What'cha got there?" He asks, as his head tilts to the side in curiosity.
"Nothing," Ghost answers quickly, perhaps too quickly, gaining a suspicious cocked brow in return for his words, "Just an old music box." A pause, "It belonged to my mother."
Soap smiles softly and approaches him, he doesn't say anything else on the subject, knowing full well that Simon doesn't like to talk about his family and, although he doesn't know what happened to them, he knows not to push the other for answers.
The Sergeant decides then and there to change the subject, he continues with his story as the two of them walk to the mess hall. Ghost listens half-heartedly, those ridiculous thoughts from before making a harsh reappearance and stealing his attention, he can't help but watch Soap, transfixed and utterly gone on the man.
His heart beats at a constant rhythm, speading up periodically when Johnny smiles at him or has his eyes solemnly on Ghost, his hands grow clammy under the gloves as his face heats up under the balaclava that's pushed up so he can eat.
Ghost can't take his eyes off the man sitting in front of him, so enamored with Soap that's all he can think about.
It's not until months later, during a rare leave that Simon is convinced to take only to appease Johnny and stop his constant pleading. They're cuddling in bed, sweaty and relaxed after their activities, and Simon's intrusive thoughts win the battle over rationale.
He moves, putting half of his body over Johnny and weighing him down as he rummages through the nightstand to find and grab his mother's box.
If he can dream about it for many days and weeks then he's intelligent enough to follow the clues.
Soap gives him a quizzical look as he watches his lover, wondering what's gotten into him so suddenly, but he doesn't voice it aloud, instead waiting for Simon to tell him whatever's on his mind.
"Close your eyes."
Johnny does as he's told, not even questioning Ghost even once, eagerly awaiting for whatever surprise his lover has in store for him.
And Simon doesn't disappoint, he gently grabs Soap's hands and places something soft on them, making the other frown in confusion when he finally opens his eyes, "Yer music box?" He asks, fingers playing around frayed edges, holding the little wooden box like it's a precious treasure and not a simple antique wooden piece.
Simon just nods and places a kiss on his temple, his hand resting on one of Soap's thighs, fingers running circles through the sheets, "I love you." Ghost admits softly, voice thick but serious nonetheless.
Johnny's eyes widen, giving him a deer-in-the-headlights type of look as he processes his lover's words, he goes to say something, perhaps to return them, but is unceremoniously silenced by a gentle and loving kiss— A first, coming from the infamous Ghost of all people.
"Open it." Simon coaxes him.
Although Soap takes his time, he's brimming with nervous energy, finger gently grazing the beautifully crafted lock, tumbling it open seconds later, only for his world to be made anew the moment it's finally open.
The Sergeant picks up the single baby feather and brings it closer for inspection, "I-Is this?" He stammers, words failing him at this critical moment, "Simon?" Soap continues, gaze focused on the man beside him.
Ghost just gives Johnny a simple smile, eyes lovestruck as he grabs his lover's hand, the one not holding the feather, and brings it to his lips. Simon places a kiss on the pulse point, eyes never leaving the man that has irrevocably stolen his heart and making Soap shiver under such an intense gaze.
"It's the only one I have left," The Lieutenant easily explains, never one to beat around the bush with matters of the heart, "I love you, and that ain't ever gonna change." There is a small pause, Ghost loses his seriousness for a second, face gaining a ruddy hue, "I want you to have it."
Soap's answer comes in the form of a kiss and manhandling Simon into the bed, still careful of the feather as he tries to smother the Lieutenant with the full force of his love for the blond man.
Their night ends with a love declaration that has a deeper meaning than just bearing one's heart but their whole spirit, vowing and offering an entire lifetime to a single person, it's both a love declaration and a marriage proposal.
And… If and when the two of them come back from their shared leave and Soap is prancing around the base wearing a baby feather around his neck, well… That's neither here nor there.