Chapter Text
Yoongi still remembers him vividly, technicolor. As if the last time he's seen him was yesterday and not months ago; like they just said goodbye and the last glance he stole of him was still fresh, lingering behind his eyes. Yoongi remembers the way Seokjin would look at him in a peculiar manner that would make Yoongi feel all sorts of ways, head over heels lightning-fast. How his eyebrows furrowed, how he’d sometimes unintentionally look angry.
It stayed with him in the moment and it stays with him now. He remembers thinking at the time, in the overwhelming way when you feel something to be as true as perception can be true (feel, feel), that he will remember these things always: the cadence of Seokjin's voice, the pink of his lips, how his eyes crease when he smiles. It all still remains with him, right there, just out of reach.
A small part of Yoongi wonders if he even wants to try to forget, or if he prefers this slow kind of torture, constantly reaching for something he no longer can hold. Maybe he's a masochist, or maybe it's just hard to let go of something you've held so close to your heart. Yoongi doesn't know, isn't sure. He worries at that elusive feeling like a sore tooth in his mouth.
They say out of sight, out of mind. He just has to wait and hope for his mind to quiet– to no longer recall if not Seokjin’s face, his hands, his windshield wiper laugh, then the feeling they used to bring out of him. Maybe time will strip it all away, soft and gradual like a tide. Maybe it will stay with him forever. There's only one way to tell.
He thinks and thinks and thinks, looking inward, conflicting feelings raging inside the arena of his skull.