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You know, Ace was having a peaceful day.
He had only caused one minor fire and two cases of attempted theft of the good stuff(food from the kitchens), and it was a pretty calm day with Ace concerned. Usually, he would have to at least finish some chore to get the consequences off his back because he hated being looked at with Marco’s disappointed stare.
It worked far too well.
Marco was the only person he wouldn’t say no to, and Marco was abusing the hell out of it. Ace couldn’t even be mad.
What Ace meant was that he was having a good day, the kind of day Ace didn’t even think about the guillotine over his head and was generally more agreeable than he would be any other time. It was the kind of day Ace would enjoy the sunlight and wind and not think any of it.
His happy bubble popped with a loud shout.
“It’s Vice Admiral Garp!”
Ace froze and creaked his head slowly to the Whitebeard, who shouted. Ace thinks it was a person from the Third Division. He was pointing to the distance, and Ace followed the finger. His heart started beating, adrenaline surging through his bloodstream. Ace recognized that dog figurehead, and he hated that he did.
The marine ship was coming in fast, and Ace heard the laughs of Pops, and the last of his hope dwindled away. Ace gulped softly, the spikes of adrenaline surging through his system. His heartbeat was getting faster, and he started to edge back, not turning away from the upcoming ship. It felt like if he turned his back, Garp would show up behind him and shake him around like a cheap pinata you would find in a gutter.
At least there are no cliffs Garp could throw him off this time.
Ace could feel his face losing blood, turning ghost white the closer Garp came to the Moby Dick. He was the Second Division Commander of the Whitebeard, why were his legs shaking so much? Ace hit his legs with a fist, trying to make them stop shaking. They weren’t stopping.
Ace crouched at the railing, hiding his body from sight, and whenever someone saw him, he shushed them aggressively. Fuck, his hands were shaking too. Garp always either caused two emotions. Fear or anger, and Ace wasn’t angry enough right now for the fear to take a backseat.
Ace flinched when he heard a thump and his father laughing. Ace slid to the floor and started army crawling through pirate legs, trying to get as far away as he could. If Garp didn’t see him, it was all good.
That was what he told himself anyway.
Ace distantly heard Pops talk to Garp because it had to be Garp. No one else would be crazy enough to launch themselves onto an Emperor’s ship without permission.
“Garp! Are you here for a fight?”
Ace wanted to blanch at the audible enthusiasm of Pops. Pops was crazy. Who would want to fight Garp? Ace had seen him eat a poisonous snake as a dare because Ace said it was deadly and Luffy was an enabler. Ace was more than willing to fight any Emperor or Admiral on these seas for shits and giggles, but Garp? Oh, hell no. Ace didn’t want to be within a hundred miles of the man in any given circumstance. Ace, before he joined the Whitebeard, and was still the captain of the Spade Pirates, heard Garp was in the area and turned his ship right around. His crew panicked because Ace was panicking subtly.
Maybe it wasn’t that subtle but sue him. Garp was fucking scary, and Ace may be suicidal, but he didn’t want to meet his end by his grandfather’s heavy fist.
Less painful ways to go.
“No, but maybe later. I just heard a little ol’ rumor I needed to fact-check.”
Ace twitched but continued his journey to maybe hide out in his cabin. Or maybe the vents. The vents sounded good. Garp couldn’t fit in them, and Pops wouldn’t let Garp get away with damaging the Moby. Okay, he could do that. He would just have to get to the stairs undiscovered…
“What rumor-yoi?”
Ace heard Marco’s voice and usually would make him relax, but right now, he was cursing out his boyfriend quite severely. Ace grew paler at Garp’s voice, and he could tell he was planning something by the intonation.
“Oh, something about a new Second Division Commander.”
Ace did a full-body shiver at how Garp phrased it.
Oh, he was so fucked.
“Ace? Why do you want to know about him-yoi?”
Ace would have appreciated the subtle aggression in Marco’s voice if he wasn’t scared out of his goddamned mind. He liked that his boyfriend was concerned about him, and gave him a warm feeling in his chest, feeling wanted for once. But that was Garp, and he would surely…
“What’s this?”
Fuck.
Ace would think Garp was narrowing his eyes at Marco, giving him a glare that would probably make lesser men shit themselves in fear. He gave Marco his condolences because this was the one circumstance he thought running away was the best option.
“Is there something going on with that brat and you, pigeon?”
Ace gave a prayer for Marco’s soul in the afterlife, but he thought he was more likely to join him after Garp was done with him.
“And if there is?”
Ace would have been touched by that, but he was occupied with mentally screaming for his boyfriend to fucking run, that it wasn’t worth it. Garp may be batshit insane and never held back against his grandsons, but he had an odd protective instinct that made damn sure that anything he thought would harm his grandsons was dead. It gave Ace whiplash whenever Garp was hitting them on the head to practically hissing at whatever threatened them with him and Luffy in his arms.
It was nice to know he cared in his own weird fucked up way. Still fucking scary though
“Huh, we’ll get back to that in a moment when that brat gets out to play. Oi, Brat! You better come out now, or you're in for a beating!”
Ace put a hand on his mouth, blocking any noise when he still continued to crawl. He was almost there…
“Ace, what are you doing?”
Ace’s body locked up and slowly looked up to see Thatch looking quite lost at what Ace was doing. He then creaked his head back to see an opening that allowed Ace to see his grandfather. That also meant Garp could see him. Garp stared at him unimpressed, crossing his arms in his Marine regalia. He could also see Marco frowning while Pops was raising an eyebrow.
Ace slowly stood up, everything getting slower. He went through all of his options, and with Garp staring at him, all of his premade plans were out of the window. He was by the stairs, but he wouldn’t make it, but he was also by the railings. So, he did the one thing he could.
Ace fucking dived off the side of the Moby.
Ace didn’t even make it a few feet below the railings when he felt a hand grab the back of his neck.
“Gack!”
He felt that his feet couldn’t touch the ground, and he looked out of the corner of his eye to see Garp looking at him, supremely unimpressed by his escape maneuver. Garp was holding him by the back of the neck, and Ace was suddenly reminded of a kitten held up by the scruff of the neck. He didn’t like the similarity.
Ace kicked his feet and tried to pry Garp’s hand off his neck. It didn’t work. Garp was still stronger than Ace was, and he could feel that fact quite clearly.
“Let me go, you shitty old man!”
Ace blinked in surprise, feeling Garp let him go for once, but that was gone when he felt an arm around his throat, not pressing down but still very noticeable. Ace paled and struggled more, trying to get his head out of Garp’s grasp. Garp tightened his arm, and Ace was pulled tight into Garp’s chest, arm more secure around his neck. Ace scowled, but he knew better than anyone he wouldn’t be able to escape without intervention.
“I don’t think so, brat. If I do, you will try to run again.”
“For good fucking reason!”
Ace felt a hit to his head, and a headache appeared behind his eyes. A bump started to form beneath his hat, and Ace hissed in pain.
“Ow. Fuck, why does that still hurt so bad?”
Ace glanced up to see Garp grinning, fist up, and Ace fought back a flinch. There was a devious light in his eyes, and Ace’s wanted to run as fast as he could, but with the arm around his throat, he wouldn’t be able to run.
“Because it’s a Fist of Love, brat. No one can guard against it.”
Garp seemed smug, and Ace grimaced at his expression.
“Why are you so proud of it? It’s just a punch.”
Garp looked down at him, and Ace snapped his mouth shut. His big mouth. A tighter pressure was around his neck, and he choked for a second before it lightened up again. Garp hummed and then started moving, dragging Ace with him.
“You're coming with me.”
Ace gapped, and indignation started burning through his fear, finally.
“No, I am fucking not!”
Garp landed another fist on his skull, and he groaned, and now a migraine started to appear.
“Language, you little shit! You are coming back to Marineford with me, and you're becoming a Marine!”
“I am a pirate, you senile codger! I have a bounty and everything!”
Garp smirked darkly, and Ace felt a stone drop in his stomach.
“I have a few strings I can pull to get that little bounty of yours to be dissolved. Senny owes me one.”
Ace gapped disbelief and a bit of despair on his face.
“You wouldn’t.”
Ace said that like he didn’t know full well that Garp, in fact, would do that. Garp grinned, and Ace was not feeling safe at all.
“You can finally be the good marine I always wanted you to be!”
Ace gagged at the thought. The thing he hated as much as himself was the Marines. There was no way he would swear his loyalty to that corrupt place.
“If you force me to be a Marine, I will find the seastone bullet stash I know Marines have in Marineford, load it into a rifle, put it on my mouth, and blow my fucking brains out. I would rather kill myself than join the Marines.”
Garp scowled, and before he could say anything, he felt the comforting timber of Pops' voice.
“Garp, what are you doing with my son?”
Ace almost relaxed at the serious drawl of his father’s voice, now not even slightly humored by Garp. Ace glanced over, still couldn’t move that well in a chokehold. He saw the Commanders frowning, and had hands on their weapons. Marco had the blue flames on his arms, and Ace felt warmed at the protective fury in his eyes. Pops had a hand on his weapon staring at Garp with some haki leaking around him.
Garp scowled and hit Ace over the head for good measure to Ace’s aggravation and pain.
“I am beating some sense into my grandson’s head. How dare you run away and become a pirate, Ace!”
Ace scowled, and looked back up at his grandfather with anger.
“I knew you would try and drag me to some god-forsaken Marine base sooner or later, so I left. So, I became a pirate like I always said I wanted to be, Gramps!!”
“And you should have become a Marine like me! Your brother will be a marine too!”
Ace hissed at that, “No, he won’t! He will be a pirate too! You can’t stop him!”
Garp let go, and Ace got his feet underneath him but didn’t move, starting to argue with Garp face-to-face. Ace had his hands up and started gesturing wide.
“I will just have to get to him quicker than! I won’t allow my family to become criminals!”
“Oh, like you could stop your very own son from becoming a criminal!!”
Garp pointed aggressively at him with a glare.
“You don’t bring him into this.”
Ace put his hands on his hip, a grin on his face. From what Ace could see, the Whitebeards were now invested, and he thinks Izou got out the popcorn again. Marco still looked unsure if he should interrupt, and Pops sat back like he thought Ace had this. He did not, but he could act like it.
“I am going to bring him into this. If you couldn’t stop him, you can’t stop Luffy.”
Garp scowled.
“He was a marine first.”
Ace blinked, surprised.
“Huh, didn’t know that. No wonder there is an information block on him. What rank?”
“Admiral.”
“Goddamn. Impressive. No wonder they can’t catch him. Wait a moment, I would have heard this before. How long was he an Admiral?”
Garp put a hand on his face and groaned.
“Three hours.”
Ace snickered, then burst out laughing. He was holding his chest by how hard he was laughing, slapping his legs with a hand. He whipped away a tear from his eye, hiccupping from the lost air.
“He literally up and left the minute he saw how fucked up the Marines were. That’s rich. I’m going to have to tell Luffy next time I see him.”
Garp glared at him, and Ace didn’t care, smiling like a cat that got the canary.
“He doesn’t know.”
Ace raised an eyebrow, not impressed at all.
“You still haven’t told him?”
“I didn’t tell you until you were fifteen.”
“Yeah, and he’s…”
Ace counted on his fingers, counting the years.
“Sixteen. He’s old enough to know. And it doesn’t matter to me because I am not blood-related to him. ”
Garp waved him off, signature disinterest on his face.
“He’ll be fine.”
Ace mocked Garp, ““Oh, hE’ll Be fiNe." Do know how much trouble Luffy gets into?”
Garp scowled and smacked the back of Ace’s head, making his head snap forward.
“Respect your elder's brat.”
“I don’t give a shit. I don’t respect authority, either. Would rather take a dip in the sea if I have to listen to you.”
Garp sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Ace looked on gleefully, and knew he was finally making headway. Garp glared at him, poking him in the chest.
“What have I told you about the suicidal jokes?”
“To not because, apparently, you are very sensitive.”
Ace's face softened sarcastically, fully aware of what this would get him, but it was too good of an opportunity. Garp breathed in deeply, and Ace would have said he was tired if he didn’t know the energy the old man had.
“Why… Why do you do this?”
“It’s the trauma~”
Ace smiled widely, cackling inwardly at Garp’s face.
“Where did I go wrong?”
Ace put a hand on his chin, making it look like he was thinking, but anyone could tell he was having fun with this, especially by the knowing glint in Garp’s eyes. He had known Ace for his entire life. He knew full well what Ace would do if he had the opportunity to talk on a tangent.
“Maybe the day you picked me up and decided it was a good idea to raise a second kid.”
Another smack.
“Don’t be a brat.”
Ace put his hat back on his head, the hat falling off at the last smack of Garp. He dusted it off and put it back on his head. His crew made noises of surprise since the last time someone made his hat fall off his head and potentially damaged it, there was hell to pay. Ace went off the rails and made sure the offendant would regret it.
Ace shrugged, still grinning.
“You’re going to call me a brat anyway, so no, I will not stop being a brat. Not until I die, that is.”
Garp rubbed his eyes, and Ace knew it was going to only need another slight push.
“If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off too?”
“Gramps, Gramps, Gramps. You got it all wrong.”
Wow, Garp lined this up so perfectly. Ace was almost ecstatic at the chance. Garp was still rubbing his eyes, but one was looking at him with a stoic gaze.
“What, pray to tell, did I get wrong?”
“I wouldn’t be the last one to jump. I would be the first.”
“Hahhhh…”
Garp shook his head, and Ace cackled out loud this time. Garp shook his head and started to go back to the railing, giving up the issue, then stopped and glared at Ace.
“Before I forget. The Pigeon, really?”
Ace opened his mouth, pissed off at the tone. Garp cut him off with a wave of a hand.
“Oh, I don’t give a shit about what gender your partner is. I have seen too much to judge.”
Ace squinted at Garp, now suspicious at how he phrased that, but Garp continued.
“But him? A pirate?”
“And what’s the problem? I can make my own damn decisions.”
Ace could see the light of humor in his eyes, and Ace knew he would not like what he would say soon.
“Well, I may know a few Marines that are your type.”
Ace blushed scarlet, probably looking like a strawberry with his freckles. Garp started grinning, eyes alight in glee. Ace squeaked, and tried to tell himself he didn’t sound embarrassed. It was a plain lie.
“How do you know?”
Garp hummed a grin still on his face.
“I may have overheard it. I remember you were talking to yourself in front of the sole mirror in your treehouse. I think you were saying something about-”
“Okay! That's enough, Gramps. Kindly fuck off now, please.”
Garp laughed a booming laugh and jumped off to his ship. Ace gave him the middle finger the entire time he was in sight, just to show how much Ace felt about this whole thing.
He was still fighting to put down the blush when Marco came to his side. He was smiling wide, and Ace would have felt warm at the smile if he didn’t see the delight in Marco’s eyes. Like he found the best new toy to play with.
“A type, huh? What’s that-yoi?”
Ace put his face in his hands, and felt Marco patting his back in comfort.
“Please shut up.”
Ace heard distant laughter progressively getting louder, and Ace wanted to melt into a puddle. He thought he even heard his Pops laughing, and Ace groaned.
“I hate this fucking family.”
That caused another round of laughter, and Ace wanted to bash in Thatch’s head. He could hear him now. Thatch cooed in the distance.
“Ace considers us family! It’s progress, people! Progress! Mark the date!”
Ace muttered into his hands, “I’m going to kill him. I am going to kill him, and no one will find the body.”
Marco nodded beside him like it was just another perfectly normal phrase.
“The Grandline is a big place, no one would know. No one-yoi.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“I would never-yoi.”
Ace smiled at that and relaxed in the laughter on the deck. At least he wasn’t bleeding and only had a headache. He thought it was a good outcome with Garp involved.
He just hoped the next time he decided to show his face, he didn’t have to embarrass Ace during his visit. He could do without that and would prefer a headache. Which was something Ace never thought he would think. God, his life is a fucking mess.
Ace smiled at his family, eyes roaming the deck.
Yeah, it was a mess, but it was his mess. If he wasn’t such a mess, he would probably never have met his crew. So, maybe not everything was so bad.
"What's your type, dear Aceyy?!!?"
Nope, everything was horrible, and he wanted to die. But first, he would have to roast a certain cook.
"You're dead, Thatch!"
"Oh... shit."
At least Ace had fun chasing down the screaming cook. Upsides people, upsides.