Chapter Text
Everything hurt.
Like, really hurt.
His arm, his chest, his eye, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Despite claiming that he was alright to walk, Splinter refused and made all of them hop into a truck that April ‘borrowed’. The second Raph sat down, the pain began to shift into soreness and bone-deep exhaustion. He knew that a lot had happened, but he couldn’t really remember much. He wasn’t sure if it was his mind rushing to repress those severely traumatic memories or the corruption, but he only remembered bits and pieces.
Unfortunately, even the scraps of memories he had were downright sickening.
He hurt his brothers, he took the key and freed the Technodrome, he almost… He almost killed Leo.
That part alone was enough to push him over the edge and he quickly grabbed a nearby bucket and emptied his stomach. His ears rang as he felt his body trying to force everything out, probably in a delayed reaction to the Kraang corruption. Once the nausea wore off, he noticed someone was touching him. Scratch that, several someone’s. Mikey was leaning up against his side, Leo was holding his arm, and Donnie was gently rubbing his shell.
He managed a strained smile, “Sorry ‘bout that, guess my body finally caught up to what happened.”
Donnie nodded, “That makes sense, the Kraang biomatter is capable of isolating certain bodily functions and either heightening them or essentially turning them off. It makes sense that they would shut down your body’s attempts to force it out when…” they trailed off when they noticed everyone staring, “Or… You know, I assume that’s what happened..”
Raph was about to ask what happened when Leo interrupted.
“Ignoring that for now,” He began and turned back to Raph, “you doing alright big guy?”
Raph nodded slightly and leaned back against the truck wall, “Just sore, though that’s not too surprising.”
Donnie jumped to their feet, “Great Galileo, how did I forget that?!” they flicked down their goggles and began quickly glancing over the other three.
After a few moments, they flicked the goggles back up with a concerned and distraught expression.
“What is it?” Mikey asked.
Donnie opened and closed their mouth several times before turning and walking toward the front of the truck. They started whispering with Splinter and the truck quickly sped up. The other three jolted at the sudden shift and simultaneously hissed in pain.
“Donnie?” Raph asked quietly.
“I’ll explain when we get home.” They responded, tone flat and almost robotic.
Raph frowned, recognizing the shift in tone as something that happened whenever Donnie grew distressed. Unfortunately, exhaustion and pain were quickly becoming more pressing issues and he felt too tired to pry. He closed his eyes, figuring that he could ask when they got home.
~~~
To put it lightly, the Lair was destroyed.
It had clearly been ransacked by other Kraang zombies and they had been very thorough. No inch of their home had been left untouched and it was a miracle the place was still standing. Raph stared with a sense of detached numbness, just another casualty of the invasion he couldn’t prevent. Donnie, April, Casey, and Splinter all got to work setting up some sort of medical area. Meanwhile, Leo, Mikey, and Raph were all told to sit down and stay put.
Raph drifted in and out of consciousness as the other four worked and only managed to remain awake when someone nudged him gently. He looked up and saw Casey looking at him with an unreadable expression. Raph gave him a curious look and Casey began to explain.
“Donatello is treating Mas- Leonardo, and I’m the only other person with extensive knowledge on treating physical injuries.” His voice had the same cold tone as Donnie’s, “I was told to help you while Master Splinter helped Michelangelo.”
Raph blinked a few times then nodded once he processed what was being said, “Alright, what uh… Whaddya' need?”
“Just hold still while I assess the damages.” Casey responded and put his mask on.
Raph sat there, vaguely put off by how intently he was being observed before the boy spoke again.
“Oh geez…” He whispered, shifting the mask up again, “This is a lot worse than I thought.”
“What is it?” Raph asked, somewhat scared of the answer.
After taking a shaky breath, Casey continued, “There’s extensive damage to the muscles, bones, and nerves in your right arm with slightly less intense damage in your left arm. There are several wounds similar to stab wounds near your left knuckles. Two of your ribs are fractured and at incorrect angles. Your right eye has intense nerve damage, and there are several cracks in your shell spreading out from a large hole above your left shoulder.” he paused, “And I believe you might have slight nerve damage throughout your entire body and some form of brain damage.”
Raph laughed bitterly, “Anything else?”
Casey shook his head, “No, not as far as I can tell.”
The turtle sighed, “Well, might as well get comfy ‘cuz this is gonna’ take a while.”
Casey nodded and got to work. It was interesting to watch as he worked without any hint of emotion. His face remained a blank slate as he bandaged all of the external wounds. After only a few minutes, he was finished and moved to stand up. Before he could though, Raph grabbed his arm, suppressing a wince at the movement.
“Hey,” He began, “are you alright? You seemed pretty distant just now.”
After a moment, something seemed to click and Casey shook his head, “No, I’m alright. I’m told I do that every time I have to help tend to wounds.”
Raph frowned, “Man, the future musta’ been really rough, huh?”
Casey huffed a laugh, “Yeah, it was definitely hard.”
After a few moments of awkward silence, Raph spoke up, “If ya’ don’t mind me asking, what was I like in the future?”
Now that got an interesting reaction. Casey stiffened and a haunted look passed over his face for a moment before it became something nostalgic.
“I was told that you were one of the Resistance’s best fighters.” He said with a look of fondness in his eyes, “Everyone knew about the ‘Red Angel’ and looked to you as a beacon of hope and support. You saved so many people and no matter how tough things got, you always found a way to keep them going. Master Leonardo always told us stories of your accomplishments as a way to keep us all hopeful. To say that you were an inspiration to us all hardly scratches the surface.”
Seeing the look of nostalgia and hurt in the young boy’s eyes was too much for Raph. He quickly reached over and gave Casey a hug, feeling him stiffen slightly before returning the hug with a tight grip.
It took a few moments for Raph to speak up, “I died, didn’t I?”
Again, Casey stiffened, “How… How did you know?”
Raph chuckled and moved back, “Despite what Donnie thinks, I paid attention when he taught us grammar and whatnot. It didn’t take too much thinkin’ to notice you using words like ‘were’ and ‘knew’.”
Casey looked sad again, “Yeah… Well, you’re right, you died when I was really little. Master Leonardo always told me about how you would spend most of your free time taking care of me after mom…” his voice broke slightly, “After she passed. You lasted about a year longer and I was told that you died protecting us from a blast that would’ve decimated the Resistance.”
Raph ran as hard as he could, knowing he had to protect Leo his family and felt brief relief and peace as the spear-like tentacle blazing hot beam of energy pierced straight through his shell chest.
Shaking off the odd combination of memories and not-quite memories, Raph nodded, “Yeah, sounds about right.”
Casey looked slightly shocked, “What?”
Raph shrugged, “I died protecting my family, it makes sense. All I ever want is to keep them safe, no matter what.”
Casey frowned, “But you shouldn’t have had to. You were just over eighteen when you died, you should have lived much longer.”
“If it meant everyone was safe, I’m sure I’d do it again.”
It took him a moment to realize he had said that out loud and he quickly looked at Casey. The boy had a pained expression and looked at the turtle with a mixture of sadness and pity.
“You uh… You weren’t supposed to hear that last part.” Raph mumbled, chuckling quietly.
“But it’s true, isn’t it?”
Raph sighed, “Yeah, I know it shouldn’t be, but it is.”
The silence returned as they both thought.
“Do you want to know what happened after you died?”
Raph stared at Casey in shock, “What?”
“Do you want to know?” Casey repeated.
“I… Guess?”
“Everything fell apart.” He began bluntly, “Master Leonardo stopped making jokes and would hardly speak unless he was giving orders. Master Michelangelo stopped smiling as much and spent most of his time alone. They at least got better though. Master Donatello though…” he seemed at a loss for words for a moment, “They pushed themselves to the limit and stopped caring for their well-being. A few weeks later, they were too tired to fight properly and were killed in a raid. The Resistance lost hope after that, mostly just fighting out of instinct to stay alive. Your death, your sacrifice, may have kept them alive, but it hurt them more than any wound.”
Raph didn’t speak, he didn’t think he could even if he wanted. The thought of his siblings, in any universe, being killed or hurt made him feel like his skin was crawling.
“Why are you telling me this?” He asked quietly.
Casey sighed, “Because from what I can tell, you need to know that you’re important to your family. I don’t know enough about you guys in this time period, but if one thing has stayed the same, it’s how much you all love each other.”
Raph stared at him for a moment then nodded, “Alright, I’ll… I’ll think about that.”
Casey nodded and stood again, “Good, I’ll go tell Donatello about everything I couldn’t fix so they’ll probably be over here soon.” he gave the turtle a weak smile, “Try talking to them, it might help.”
And with that, he left. The few minutes Raph was alone left him to think about what he was told. He was both happy at the thought that nothing could destroy the love he and his family had and distraught at the knowledge that he couldn’t protect them without hurting them too.