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"Five floors. Five! For a book!"
"Well," someone said. "I think you've already climbed high enough to pass about three of them. So, you know, halfway there already."
"Shut up. Or better yet: go away."
"So hostile. Are you quite sure that rope will hold? Such a ... tragedy, if you were to fall."
"At least I wouldn't have to listen to you anymore."
"Ah. Well, I might save your life, you know. After all, you're kind of cute."
"Black-hearted and cheap," Proteus said, slapping Sinbad's shoulder.
Sinbad considered pointing out it had gotten a bit bruised in their scuffle with the sea monster - you know, the one he'd totally saved Proteus from.
"Enough with the flattery already. I might begin to think you want something from me," he said instead.
Proteus chuckled. "Only for you not to live up to your reputation. For this one night. How's that?"
Sinbad glanced over to where Kale was casually leaning against a pillar. "Let me think about it."
"Men."
"I had that."
"Of course you did. But come on. At least he could have raised the alarm."
"That wasn't exactly part of the plan."
"You mean it wasn't part of your plan."
"Since when do you have plans? I mean, making a plan sounds awfully ... organized. Orderly."
"Ah. Cute and smart."
"Been there, kissed that mouth. Not looking for a repeat, thanks."
" - and those uniforms!" said Sinbad. He felt pretty good; this was some excellent wine they were pouring here, and not just because it was free.
In fact, two hours ago, he'd have declared that nothing - absolutely nothing beat the taste of a nice Thracian red, fresh from some hapless merchant's hold.
"There's nothing wrong with the Royal Navy's uniforms," Proteus said, frowning.
"My friend," Sinbad casually slung an arm around Proteus shoulder, "there's everything wrong with their uniforms. Why, the color alone - "
"That's not where I keep my purse."
"Exactly. How about we get some fresh air, hm?" Sinbad waggled his eyebrows. Kale was scowling at him, he saw. Jealous, clearly. It wasn't everyone who could bag a Syracusean prince, after all.
"You're very drunk. In case you hadn't heard, I'm engaged. And ... I love her. With all my heart."
"Oh." Nothing like flat-out rejection to sober a man up. "Right. Sorry about that."
Proteus shrugged. "As I said before, you're very drunk."
"I - "
"Oops."
" 'Oops'?"
"The Book!" Proteus's hand was on his sword. His gaze was locked on that fancy tower he very pointedly hadn't told Sinbad about earlier.
Other than to say they'd been working on the thing for close to three years and that it had five floors.
"Wow. It's been here for, what, six hours and someone's stolen it already? That's gotta be some sort of record, right?" Sinbad looked around for some more wine. Food, too; with the way things were going, he figured that any moment now, this party was going to be over.
Proteus glared at him. "This is not a joke, Sinbad."
"That was not supposed to happen."
"Sloppy. You'd think they'd have built it a bit better."
"Okay, fine." Sinbad raised his hands. "Now, you're obviously busy. Don't let me keep you. Good seeing you again, and all that."
"No," Proteus said.
"All right then. Bye." Kale was gone already, Sinbad noticed. Smart guy, Kale.
Proteus drew his sword and held it as if he seriously thought he might hurt Sinbad with it, or at least keep him from doing anything he wanted to do. "I said 'no'. You tried to steal the Book before - "
"Ancient history. Elephants over the Alps." Stupid Kale, leaving the moment things got a little weird.
"Then help me." Proteus lowered his sword. "Please."
"That is a very long way down."
"Why don't you tell me something I don't know already?"
"You're going to die."
"Something I don't know, I said."
"Ah. Well, how about this? I have a plan."
"You?"
"Me?" Sinbad grinned and shook his head. "Me? Help you? You hadn't heard? I'm a pirate, Proteus - not some do-goodie hero. Besides, what kind of help would I be able to give you, anyway?"
"You have a ship," Proteus said. "A crew. The thieves - whoever they are, they will have come here by ship. They have to; they'd never be able to smuggle out the Book over land. Not with all the Twelve Cities looking for them."
"I have a ship, yes. One ship. You, on the other hand, have got the Royal Navy. That's what, twenty ships? Fifty?"
"Ten," Proteus said. "And the only one presently here is damaged, because someone tried to keep the Book from ever reaching Syracuse in the first place."
"Hey, if I'd succeeded, at least you wouldn't have been in this mess you're in right now," Sinbad pointed out. "So, you see, you've got nobody but yourself to blame for all of this. Sorry, Proteus; should've just let me take what I wanted. I mean, sure, it'd have cost you some money to get it back, but - "
"Sinbad!"
"That was actually a pretty good plan."
"Such sweet flattery from your lips. If you're not careful, I might begin to think you care. Again."
"I was going to say 'thank you', but never mind."
"You're welcome."
"A woman?" Proteus echoed. He looked stunned. Sinbad generously ascribed it to shock at the general state of things, rather than at the idea a woman might be capable enough to steal his precious Book.
Of course, 'woman' might not be an entirely accurate term.
Sinbad cursed. "Oh, great. Eris. Did she look like Eris? You know, big, scary, long hair? Sexy, in an evil kind of way?"
The guard blinked at him. Clearly not a guy selected for his brains, which made sense. Smart people were able to count, after all, and the Royal Guard's salary wasn't exactly generous.
"Why would Eris want to steal the Book of Peace?" Proteus asked.
"Um, hello. Goddess of Discord, Book of Peace? Who else would it be?"
The guard still looked confused. Proteus, now - Proteus looked thoughtful. Like maybe he wasn't that far away from adding two and two and reaching four.
"Oh, this will be fun."
"Maybe. Maybe not."
"You stole the Book of Peace. You. Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you. I mean, Sinbad, yes. But you? That was a surprise. And I just love surprises."
"I didn't do it for you."
"Then why? Not that I care. The road to Tartarus is paved with intentions. Good, bad, all kinds."
"Because a peace enforced by a thing is worthless. A lie. Peace is something that must live in people's hearts. It's no good otherwise."
Eris laughed. "You really are naive. But then, I guess we'll find out just how much peace the people of the Twelve Cities have in their hearts soon enough, won't we?"
"Yes," Marina said. "We will."