Chapter Text
The pink blended with the black to create a strange coloured darkness but staring into it for the last three hours meant that the pink light bulb hadn’t been the miracle cure that Jungkook hoped for.
The turquoise bulb the night before hadn’t done anything either.
Reading a chapter of a fan fiction called Worlds Apart was meant to have helped but he couldn’t just put it down after one chapter so stayed up all night reading. His friend’s next suggestion was a book called Occupational Hazards because that was individual stories so he could read one and put it away but the sex scenes were so hot in some of them, his brain and body were anything but restful.
The supplements to aid sleep were useless because he’d stayed up all night worrying that he would sleep in past his alarm…
… the alarm that was set for the same time every morning because it was meant to help give his body a routine and that was probably the only this that did work to a certain degree.
Insomnia was the invention of dark forces, that’s what Jungkook believed.
It came in phases and started when he worked for the worst company in the world. He was a photographer and his face didn’t fit in an environment where everyone was 45 years plus and heterosexual. The magazine he worked for seemed to have employed the most prejudiced people in the country and as a 25 year old gay man, he was never going to be accepted. They only employed him during Equality Month when his employment meant they could be nominated for an award and as he was already doing a one month internship it was easy to make it official.
His mental health took a nosedive with the little snide comments and homophobic remarks. The jobs he was given were the jobs that no one else wanted and when he made an official complaint, things just got worse so he was left with no choice but to walk away. As a result of walking out of his job after being threatened with dismissal for inventing false claims against his colleagues, he was then evicted from his apartment because he couldn’t afford the rent. Depression set in, he was never a sociable person but became even less so and the dark cloud overhead refused to budge.
Life was shit at that time and then he was diagnosed with chronic insomnia.
In the last eighteen months or so he’d managed to turn his life around. After living on his friend’s couch and going freelance with photography, he saved up and got himself a small one bedroom apartment. It’s quite simply one big room which has his double bed in one corner, a two seater couch at the other end and a small kitchen area. The small couch faces a 24 inch tv screen on a chest of drawers and his dining area is the rectangular coffee table that sits in the space between the couch and the tv. The only separate room is a small ensuite style shower room. It might be compact but it’s his and it’s not like he has many friends or the need for raucous parties.
As he looks into the pinky hue of his apartment, he considers doing a work out. In the corner near the lounge section of the room, he has some kettlebells and resistance bands but exhaustion doesn’t always work and he’d tried that last night.
He knows it’s a stupid idea but since nothing else seems to be working, he picks up his phone and decides to search twitter for something to keep him occupied until a) his alarm goes off or b) he actually falls asleep.
Twitter bores him but an advertisement for a radio show appears. He’d never really thought about listening to the radio which seems a bit silly given that he’d tried podcasts and playlists. The advert was for a country music radio show and as much as he could appreciate that genre, it wasn’t his thing but he searches for a radio app in the google store and goes from there.
He can actually feel his eyelids drooping as he flicks through all the stations available. There’s one talking about the environmental impact of plastic waste, another one discussing stocks and shares and another that he quickly moves on from that mentions the political standing in the country. Somewhere amongst all of the debates and discussions are the stations that play songs that are definite funeral songs and he starts to lose hope but considers that perhaps the boredom factor is working because his eyes are beginning to burn (as well as his ears).
He sighs and his fingers feel heavy as he presses another station… another discussion show… or is it?
“... Not all vampires could take the serum, some couldn't afford it because they didn't have jobs, some didn't know a decent warlock, some were just happy to live in the dark. There was a huge market for it and many vampires had died (again) because of bootleg varieties made by trainee witches or vampires who were simply stupid…”
Jungkook’s interest is spiked… the voice is deep and velvety… the story is interesting and not a debate on the voting system or whether global warming is real.
He places his phone to one side and listens to the plight of a vampire, struggling not to kill the orderly he works with…
… and then sleep captures him.
***
The next night, Jungkook was intent on listening to the show again and hearing more of the story. By the time 2am arrived he was still wide awake as usual but felt less alone as he could immerse himself in the story. Staying awake all night could get lonely and tiresome (ironically). It also made the days go slowly because it was like having permanent jet lag and sometimes it was a struggle to form sentences, let alone hold an actual conversation. Photography was a saving grace because it enabled him to work without having to socialise with people. He arrived at a job, took direction and got on with it. Most of the communication was via email before and afterwards so there was little human contact aside from when he needed to tell people to stand somewhere or do something in particular. He much preferred the jobs where he got to photograph innate objects or scenery and children's parties were the worst but he took whatever he could get.
“Welcome listeners to the graveyard hours and what better way to spend the death slot than to continue our story about the undead… I hope you’re sitting comfortably… chapter four of ‘If Looks Could Kill’...”
“What? No! Chapter four?” Jungkook says out loud to himself. He doesn’t know where the story had started last night but what he does know now is that he’s missed three whole chapters and he’s annoyed.
“The corridor was still and quiet, aside from the general hustle and bustle in the distance. If another vampire saw how slowly he was walking towards the staff room, they would probably have heckled him for the next century, at least. Thankfully, he didn’t care, he only knew that he couldn’t be there first because that would look keen and he was anything, but keen…”
Jungkook thinks that the vampire is in denial. His whole body relaxes, muscles loosening and limbs that start to feel weighty. The words drift from his phone, the voice so deep and smooth.
“Today was a new day, he was refreshed and his mind was clear… not… not really clear after the image of the orderly on his knees had invaded his sleep, once again..”
The corners of Jungkook’s mouth pull upwards slightly into a small smile as he confirms to himself that the vampire is definitely in denial. The dulcet tone of the radio show presenter’s voice crowded him like a swaddling blanket around a baby. His body sunk further into the mattress as he lost the battle against consciousness.
***
Sunlight… a blazing force that illuminates the entire room. It bounces off of every surface, reflecting off everything remotely shiny. Disorientation is what envelopes the photographer struggling to open his eyes.
Jungkook rolls over and buries his face into his pillow, reaching his left hand out towards the bedside table in search of his phone. He has no idea what time it is or even what day it is but the brightness in the room is burning his eyes and maybe he turned into a vampire at some point during the story?
It takes a while to register that his phone isn’t working… ugh!... his battery must have died. That would explain why his alarm didn’t wake him… he usually makes sure his phone is on charge.
He lifts his head and pushes up onto his hands so he can turn over and swing his legs off of his bed. He rubs his face with his hands, his limbs feel heavy as he blinks at the small digital clock on the bedside table…
09:12… what?!
Jungkook can’t believe it… he can’t work out what happened.
How did this happen?
He thinks back… remembering how he found the radio station and was annoyed that the radio presenter was starting with chapter four. He remembers the vampire being in denial and that was it, he doesn’t have any memories after that.
Six hours sleep is the most sleep he’s had in days and he is convinced that tonight will be different due to waking so late. He really wants to hear more of the story… or perhaps he wants to hear the voice of the man reading the story? Either way, he would like to be awake for longer tonight… the irony of such a thought hadn’t escaped him.
When midnight comes and goes, Jungkook feels prepared. His phone is fully charged and his blinds are pulled. The day had actually been productive and he’d forgotten how it felt to be able to think with an element of clarity after having sleep. Jungkook didn’t want to tempt fate but had changed his alarm from 6am to 7am in the hope of establishing some kind of routine where he slept a little longer.
He’d spoken to his best friend, Jimin today and they’d planned food and a movie to celebrate Jimin’s new abode. He was moving this week and the new place was much bigger. Jungkook was excited to celebrate with his friend and see his new home. It sounded like a great place, with space for Jimin to practice yoga in his bedroom. Jungkook met Jimin when they were at university and Jimin was an aspiring actor. Life didn’t quite work out the way he’d have liked but when he was scouted by a modelling agency on the street, he didn’t look back. Now he practised yoga, often, worked out to keep his body in tip top condition and had modelled everything from gloves to swimwear. Jimin’s acting days were behind him but he still managed a few cameos in dramas and that was enough, he enjoyed modelling and it was useful having a photographer as a best friend when it came to his portfolio.
“Happy deadzone to my listeners… it’s that time of the day when only the undead are awake and let’s dive straight back into our story…”
That voice! Jungkook melts internally as the smooth sound acts like a drug and relaxes his muscles. He doesn’t know how long he is listening for before sleep swoops in and takes him off into the realm of dreams.
***
The coffee shop was buzzing, far too busy for Jungkook’s liking but Jimin needed to get away from unpacking boxes and he needed some fresh air so the walk at least did him good.
“Who is he?” Jimin asks, sitting opposite his friend as people chatter around them.
“Who is what?”
“You have colour in your cheeks and you’ve slept. I told you that getting laid would be the remedy.”
“Okay, so, I’ve forgotten how to have sex, it’s been that long but thanks for the compliment.”
Jimin takes several gulps of the Frappicino before quizzing his friend further. “It’s like riding a bike, you can’t forget, besides you must jerk off?”
“Of course but that’s not really having sex now is it?”
“It’s all mechanical, same thing.”
“Does Hobi know that you talk about your sex life like this?”
“I wasn’t talking about MY sex life. It was a casual observation.”
“Nice get out.”
“Thanks.”
Jungkook shakes his head at his friend. “Is everything good with Hobi?”
Jimin’s face instantly breaks out into a beaming smile and he doesn’t really need to answer the question at all but he does anyway. “So good! It’s been the best six months ever! He’s been great at helping me move and we decided to christen each box instead of the room.”
“You fucked on cardboard boxes?”
“We’d fuck on anything, if I’m honest. We only had one box collapse on us.”
“I think I’ll wait until you’ve fully unpacked because the last thing I need is the image of you bent over each box.”
“The room is nearly clear. It’s huge!”
Jungkook smirks, “The room?”
Jimin giggles, “And the room.”
The two men giggle like a couple of school boys which makes them laugh even more when their immaturity registers.
“Have you met your housemates yet?”
“There’s only two of us on the floor that my room is on. The couple that live there as well, have the whole basement level to themselves and they have their own front door so I doubt I’ll see much of them. They seem nice though.”
“It’s a big place then?”
“Yeah, it’s like an old dorm for students that has been converted.”
“Can’t wait to see it once you’re unpacked.”
“Can we please address the fact that you sound more awake than you have in the last month? Did the lightbulb work?”
“No… the lightbulbs were ineffective… and before you ask… so were the stories, even if they were useful for other things. The spinach didn’t help and nor did making paper planes at 4am.”
“Okay, okay… so what did you do because you have definitely slept.”
“I found a radio show that starts at 2am.”
“Music? Music was the answer? But I made you that playlist.”
“Not music. The radio show is some guy telling stories. It’s like a radio audio book, I suppose.”
“You tried podcasts before?”
“I know but it’s this guy’s voice… he’s… it’s… erm…”
“Woah! Are you blushing?”
“No!”
“You are! Why are you blushing over some guy whose monotone voice bores you to sleep?”
“I did not say he bored me to sleep! The stories are really good.”
“If he doesn't bore you to sleep, what is it?”
“I don’t know but his voice does something to me, I can feel it. It’s so rich and comforting. I’m probably embarrassed because I feel like a dickhead trying to explain why some strangers' voice affects me the way that it does.”
“You do sound like a dickhead.”
“Thanks, Jimin.”
“You’re welcome. Maybe it was a fluke?”
“For five nights in a row?”
“Five? Okay so not a fluke. How much sleep?”
“I get through about an hour of his show and my alarm wakes me at 7.30 which I changed from 6 to 7 and now 7.30.”
Jimin looks visibly surprised. He runs his fingers through his black hair that sits in curtains around his forehead, the tips just reaching the corners of his eyes. “That’s a big deal, Kook! Do you feel better for it?”
“Definitely! I’m not trying to get through my day with that foggy feeling.”
“What do you think the radio guy looks like then?”
Jungkook’s expression changes to one of confusion, “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you’ve thought about it! Deny it!”
“Tall ish, muscly, blonde, half Korean, half western, big feet, large hands, tattoos.”
Jimin nearly spits his frappuccino out, “Holy shit! What’s with the Western thing?”
“I don’t know. The voice is so deep that I kinda thought maybe one parent wasn’t Korean? I pictured him blonde but natural blonde so I needed a genetic explanation.”
“Oh my god, you’re hilarious.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t like blondes or muscles and how tall are we talking because you don’t like guys who are more than 5 centimetres taller than you.”
“I’ve not liked the guys who were blonde that I have dated… that’s different. Usually they dye their hair and the roots grow out and it looks bad.”
“You don’t like gym bunnies?”
“You know I don’t. Maybe it suits me to think that he isn’t as attractive as he sounds?”
"Oh! So he’s attractive?”
“How would I know?”
“What’s not attractive about someone who is half Korean?”
“That’s the only thing I listed that would not be a problem. I only came up with that to explain naturally blonde hair and I don’t even know if I’d like someone who was a natural blonde.”
”Wow! Your head is messy. The bottom line is that if he looks like you imagine, it’s just the voice that is attractive?”
“Well… yeah… maybe? But he could be hot if he’s not muscular, tall and doesn’t have tons of tattoos.”
“You’ve got tattoos.” Jimin feels it is his duty to state the obvious.
“That doesn’t mean I like them on others. Anyway, why are we talking about him like he’s real?”
Jimin shows confusion, “Erm… he is a real person.”
“Not one that I’m going to bump into while in the supermarket though.”
“You don’t know that, aside from the fact you only go to the supermarket when it's a stupid time so you can avoid people.”
“I’m not getting into another hypothetical conversation.”
“Hypothetical is fun. Do you have much work on this week?”
“I’ve taken on a few more jobs for next week. Waking up without feeling like I’ve been hit by a sledgehammer is great. I like routine. I might even be able to drink normal coffee again.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Caffeine could undo all the mystery guy’s hard work.”
“I’ll steer clear of caffeine for a while, don’t worry, I’m not stupid.”
“Okay so let’s hypothetically say that you aren’t stupid…” Jimin intended to remain straight faced but couldn’t stop himself from laughing when Jungkook glares at him.
Jimin has witnessed his friend go through some real struggles, giving up his couch for him so he could get back on his feet and supporting him where he could. There was a period of time when he did a few photoshoots for magazines and had to be away for a month so it helped him out having Jungkook in his home. Insomnia is the only thing left and the doctors were convinced that routine and stability in his life would give him longer periods of respite in between bouts of sleeplessness and there was a strong possibility that it could disappear forever.