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Steve wants kids.
It's something he’s kind of always wanted. Sure, it's not, like, the most typically masculine daydream to have. Not really typical, he supposed, for a young guy.
He’s never been one for dreaming about being some big name athlete, or progressing beyond the team in school. Hell, he never even liked the swim team or basketball that much to begin with. His dreams have never really revolved around his career anyway. Maybe that’s why he’s in his mid-twenties working at a boardshop for a living.
Not that he hates it. God, he loves it. He loves the beach, and the people; they’re different here. Every day is something new, and they’ve been here years now.
But. He knows most guys his age are finishing up Bachelors or settled into a white-collar job they’ve been gearing towards since they were kids.
That was never him. And maybe it took him a couple years out of school and out of Hawkins altogether to realise it. He just wanted to be a dad, really.
Well, he wanted to move out here first. And he’s done that. Wanted to be in a committed relationship with somebody who loves him. He’s somehow got that too.
He’s always wanted kids. He knew that.
No, that’s not what shocks him. What shocks him is he realises he wants them with Billy.
He loves him. Is in love with him. Is in love with loving him, whatever. Hell, he’d been so head over heels that he’d followed him across the country. Happily, obviously.
Point is, he wants kids and he wants them with Billy. And Steve, as is the case with most things, realises it at the worst, most inopportune situation ever.
Like, right after coming inside of Billy kind of situation.
Billy’s writhing in his lap, gasping out a string of incoherent curses because he’s already wrung a round out of him when they first parked up here, and he always gets greedy once the edge has worn off.
Billy’s fucking beautiful. He’s circling his hips, the motion lazy and practiced and fucking delicious. It's practiced, something they’re familiar with after years, and it still makes his veins thrum molten-hot and electric.
Steve’s got a hand in Billy’s hair and the other at the small of his back. Letting Billy do all the work - just as he loves. The hand tugs at the ruins of a bun that’s left, and Billy hisses.
There’s a sheen on Billy’s chest, rivets of perspiration lining scarred skin. They’re nothing but that, now. Even the one in the middle, the biggest. Just an angry line, now. It serves nothing but a reminder of the heart thumping beneath it. It's Steve’s. He knows it. They both do.
“You’re so beautiful,” Steve strokes back mussed curls that are more like bangs if he’s being honest, and Billy exhales a laugh.
“Your dick’s fucking beautiful,” He’s breathless, he’s palming at Steve’s shoulders. “God, Steve.”
“It's all you,” Steve says, a little in awe, voice low.
Billy grins at him and shakes his head. “Never felt like this, Stevie. Nobody else has ever-“ A groan punches out of him as Steve pulls him down, thrusts his hips up and inside Billy. “Fu-uck.”
Because, yeah, that’s a major thing. Praise or acclamation, or something. For both of them. He can’t help it. Can’t help it when he flips them, and Billy’s laid out across the backseat.
And look. Steve’s not thinking straight on the best of days. He can’t think at all when Billy’s legs splay open, and he says his name, breathless and hoarse.
“Yeah,” Steve answers, bending to kiss Billy’s open, waiting mouth. He responds eagerly, responds like a starved man, and slides his hands into Steve’s hair.
Billy fucks his tongue into his mouth, clearly having grown impatient, and a little mad with it. It makes Steve feel mad. Knowing he can bring Billy to nothing but this. He knows what a gift this is. Treasures it. Him. That’s what Billy is. Treasured.
“You gonna fuck me full?”
Steve grips his thighs, tugs them apart further, and kneads the flesh in his hands. Sucks his lip into his mouth when Billy circles his hips.
“That what you want, baby?”
Billy nods, open-mouthed and shameless. Steve wants. “Uh-huh. C’mon.”
Steve encourages Billy to lift his hips with a tap, and he complies, and Steve’s chest pounds. Still. He can’t resist. Can’t help himself, not with Billy looking so soft. So easy.
“You wanna be mine, huh?”
“Already am,” Billy affirms, aggressive in the way that his legs hook around Steve’s waist and tug. “C’mon, Steve. Want you to prove it. Show me.”
“You’re so impatient,” Steve says, knows it's much too loving, and pushes back inside him. Billy’s mouth parts on a moan, it's obscene.
“Mm, big boy, c’mon.” Billy somehow manages to make it land as an insult and endearment, despite the way he’s panting. Sweating. Grabbing for purchase at Steve.
“Shit,” Steve says usefully, finding a punishing rhythm, tongue lead and stuck between his teeth. God, Billy makes him fucking crazy. Makes his body feel taut as a bowstring. Always ready to snap.
He lets Billy pull him closer, because he’s the one calling the shots really; and they both know it. Steve loves it. Goes fucking crazy for it. They both do. And it works.
“What do you want, Bill?”
“Think you know what I want,” Billy says incredulously. He’s frowning in concentration, pushing his ass down onto Steve’s dick. Like he can’t handle a second of pause. Steve can’t either, but fucking Christ. He groans.
Steve strokes a hand over Billy’s face, catches his middle and index on Billy’s bottom lip. “What’s that, beautiful?”
Billy’s already flush with blotches of red, but he swears his cheeks darken. “Steve.”
“Tell me,” Steve says, and pushes his fingers down, down onto plush skin and into his mouth.
Billy’s watching him. His eyes are zeroed in on Steve’s as he opens his mouth wider. As he lifts up, the flat surface of his tongue pressing to Steve’s fingers, and moans.
Steve swallows hard. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so turned on in his life.
“Why don’t you tell me. Tell me what you wanna do to me,” Billy says, wet and breathless, before wrapping his lips around his digits. Like he’s daring him to voice it. Hell, he definitely is. He’s fucking evil. Satanic. Satan himself, with picture-perfect curls to get fistfuls of.
Baby blues pierce into Steve’s and. Jesus. Jesus. He’s at his limit and Billy knows it. Smirks around his fingers, grazes his knuckle with his teeth.
“Wanna fuck you full,” Steve admits. There’s no shame in voicing what they want, now. Not after so long. He presses down, firm, onto Billy’s tongue as he ruts into him. He can feel Billy’s shudder.
Billy audibly swallows. Smiles, like the cat that got the cream, and brings his fingers up to wrap around Steve’s wrist. He has the reins here. His dark eyes peer up at Steve.
What else?
“Gonna keep going ‘til I’m leaking out of you,” Steve says. A promise. Like pinkies crossed and whispers shared. “Yeah?”
Billy yanks Steve’s fingers from his mouth, spit-slick and imprinted at the knuckles. “Fuck, I’m in love with you.”
Steve falters. For just a second, he’s nineteen and meeting Billy at the diner off Main Street after a shift at Family Video. He’s eighteen, and he’s a storm of fury and desire watching Billy Hargrove climb across Tina’s couch.
He’s twenty, and he’s got Billy on a blanket under the pier when Billy’s telling him he loves him. That’d been the night they’d pooled their hush money together and bought a place on the seafront. Private, too. God bless Sam Owens.
He swallows down his insecurities and the urge to let his eyes bug out and his brain to freak, to say you do? Breathes out, and leans in to press their mouths together.
Maybe it's a little prissy a kiss considering Steve’s slow slide in and out of Billy’s ass, but. Billy’s smiling into it, so. Who gives a shit.
Billy’s watching him when he pulls away. He has this thing. This piercing look, sometimes. Sees right through Steve.
“Hey, I really do,” He lifts his chin, lips swollen cherry-red and spread in a little smile. “And your dick.”
“Shut up,” Steve whispers in the liminal space between them, his hair enclosing them in. Just Steve and Billy. “What happened to just a quickie before we head back to the shop?”
“You own the place,” Billy says as his hands slide down Steve’s back, and that’s true. “Could just lie here all day instead, though. Let you fuck me over, and over, and-“
“Stop,” Steve shudders a half-laugh.
“C’mon, Stevie, like you wouldn’t if I asked.”
“I’d do anything you ask of me,” Steve’s fingers curl at Billy’s chin and hook. He tips Billy’s face up so he can get at his throat, and Billy lets him. Wiggles his hips with it.
“That’s sweet,” Billy’s hands find his ass. They grip, and pull Steve closer. It pushes Steve inside him with a sudden jolt, and it’s gotta hit something because Billy hisses. Does it again. “Come inside me.”
“Billy.”
Steve’s hips stutter. He snaps up, teeth and tongue at the candy of Billy’s birthmark and sucking. A half-crescent mole, hidden at his throat.
“Yeah, knock me up,” Billy gasps as Steve ruts with abandon.
Steve’s on fire. “I- Oh, God.”
“Fuck me full.”
“Billy, please-“
“You want it,” Billy’s leering, nails digging into his goddamn ass cheeks, and Steve’s eyes are about to roll the fuck back. “Tell me. Tell me how much. Please, Steve.”
“Want.. I want it, baby,” Steve gasps. Billy clenches around him, and it cuts into a choke. “Wish I could.”
Billy moans, loud and sudden. Punched out of him. He’s sweating now, hair dark and stuck to his forehead. Steve wants.
“Yeah?”
“Wish I could knock you up,” Steve’s head’s swimming with the admission. Something he’s had buried deep. Something he didn’t realise he liked. Something Billy clearly does, too. Makes him feel on fire.
“Tell me again,” Billy’s grunting, he’s throwing his head back and exposing his throat for the taking too. “Tell - please tell me-“
“God, I want it.”
“Yeah?” Billy rolls his hips, meets Steve’s with a bruising pace. “How - how much, Stevie?”
“‘s all I want,” Steve’s pounding inside, he’s so close, he’s burning, he’s on fire. “You, and you’re. You having my-“
Billy’s thighs tremble around him. “Oh, Jesus, c’mon. Do it. Knock me up.“
Steve’s not expecting the orgasm to hit him. It knocks him with the force of it, and he’s hiding his face in Billy’s shoulder as he comes deep inside him.
Billy’s still - he’s still writhing, encouraging Steve to fuck him through it. He’s so much. He’s beautiful. He’s perfect. He’s.
Steve fumbles a shaking hand between them, finding Billy’s cock red and leaking.
All it takes is a couple strokes, a few more open kisses at Billy’s throat, for him to follow after. He cries Steve’s name all through it. Spurts up and over his bare chest and Steve’s too.
Steve finds himself kind of. Floating. Cleans up their respective messes with a shirt previously thrown on the floor and collapses on top of Billy.
Billy hums, lifts his head to draw Steve into a kiss. Licks into his mouth with a high, keening whine. It's lazy. It's perfect.
“Shit,” Billy says, hoarse and eyes half-lidded where they stare up at Steve. He’s smiling, an easy, wide expression. His teeth bite into his lip.
He’s nervous? Why is he nervous?
“Mm, sweetheart,” Steve catches his mouth again. And again. Again, ‘til Billy’s laughing.
“What?”
“Just thinking,” Billy says.
“Dangerous,” Steve teases, and gets an eye roll in response. A smile as he leans up to kiss Steve again. “What about?”
Billy looks at him like. Well, like he’s an idiot. Like he’s missing something. Steve flushes.
“What?” He repeats, runs his hands up Billy’s sides.
“I didn’t know that did it for you,” is what Billy replies after a moment. Grins, and says, a little bark with no bite, “What? Settling down all nice with me is a turn on for you?”
Steve’s face heats. “It was just.. it was a heat of the moment thing. Like, adrenaline or something.”
Billy hums. Catches Steve’s hand at his waist and tangles it in his own.
“In case you didn’t notice, I liked it too,” He squeezes Steve’s hand. “Like, a lot.”
Steve flounders. “But it's..”
Billy’s smile grows into a grin. “Hot as fuck?”
Steve groans, feeling warm all over. “Stop.”
“There any truth to it?”
Steve’s head snaps up. Too quickly, and Billy can tell. He’s watching him, still smiling, still amused. But there’s more to it, his eyes are so piercing. So perceptive.
“To-“ Steve panics. Can’t meet those eyes. They see right inside him.
“It's just a heat of the moment thing. All it is, right?” Billy asks like it's rhetorical, something cold in his tone. Dismissive of himself. He.. what was going on? All Steve knew was that he fucking hated when Billy withdrew in on himself.
Can’t help it really when he gushes without a thought, “You’d be a really great dad.”
Billy’s cheeks go pink. His eyes widen, and he gives a half-laugh. Like he’s not sure how to respond. If it were any other situation, any other point in time, Steve would be gleeful he’d achieved such a reaction. Billy’s never shocked. But this is.. it’s.
Foot? Meet mouth.
“What?”
“Um.”
“Steve,” Billy says quietly. “You serious?”
“Yes,” Steve lowers his face to hide in Billy’s shoulder. “I think about it all the time. And I totally - it's a lot, I know. I know it is and I didn’t want to say anything because I know what a big deal it is to you.”
Billy’s quiet for a minute. Does nothing but breathe heavy in Steve’s ear. Steve’s heart pounds.
“All the time?”
“I’ve always - I want kids, sure. But I know that you feel complicated about it, so I’ve never -“ He makes a frustrated noise against Billy’s skin. Hands push into his hair. “Sorry.”
“I love you,” Billy says, voice gravelly. He risks lifting his head, knows he’s scarlet-red and embarrassed. He meets Billy’s eyes. They’re glassy. Billy draws him in with a gentle tug at his hair. “This is something you really want?”
“Yes,” Steve swallows, wondering incredulously how they got here. Billy smiles, a jittery twitch of his lips.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Are you kidding?” Steve’s forced to look nowhere but Billy’s face. It makes him feel raw. Exposed. With Billy, that feels like a good thing. Despite the embarrassment. “Like it wouldn’t make you run for the hills the second I casually say, Oh, hey, I wanna have a child with you?”
“At first, maybe,” Billy frowns. “Baby, I’m - I was fucked, I wasn’t good. I’m still not sure if I’m any different, but I know I love you. I know you’re it for me, have always been since before we moved out here, and it's not just pillowtalk.”
Steve shifts. “It's just a stupid daydream though.”
“Quit that,” Billy tugs, “Did I not just admit something personal as fuck to you? Dream of my own? Stop talking like your wants are more expendable, asshole.”
Steve’s eyes prick. “Okay. I love you.”
“Okay,” Billy thumbs his jaw. Blinks at him, wide and glassy, too, “I love the fuck out of you.”
“Cool,” Steve says, brain swimming, like they’ve not been out here making a go of it for nearly a decade.
Billy snorts, grin wide and goofy and beautiful, “Sorry, just.. I think I’m overwhelmed. You fucked the hell out of me and then the sudden kid talk - which is kind of my fault.”
“Yeah, yeah, me too,” Steve knocks their foreheads together before catching Billy in another kiss.
“You’d be perfect,” Billy murmurs softly against his mouth. “Can tell, you know.”
Steve wavers. He’s so full of emotion he could burst.
“And I would. I’d like that with you, if that answers anything. So.”
“Oh,” Steve says, and realises he’s crying. “That’s - fine.”
“Fine?” Billy’s eyes crinkle with mirth. “I didn’t know you had such high standards or I wouldn’t have bothered, Stevie.”
“Shut up, my brain is melting,” Steve kisses at Billy’s mouth, his nose, his cheek. Open, wet exaggerations until Billy’s laughing. Telling him to fuck off, pulling him into another kiss.
The sunset is a stunning backdrop behind Billy as he pulls himself up. The ocean spans out behind him too. He can hear it, the lapping of the waves. Gulls in the distance, far out.
He realises, distantly and with a little laugh of his own, that his dream might not just be that. Doesn’t have to be anymore. It could be his future after all.
It could be theirs.