Chapter Text
"Do you think you'll cut it again?"
"Hm?" Catra hummed at the sudden distraction. She was busy looking over some proposals Glimmer had given her for their next alliance meeting. Apparently being a royal advisor meant actually giving opinions and...ugh, advising.
Being the generous and considerate person she was, Catra had volunteered to use her precious morning relaxation time to go over the notes and recommend any finishing touches. She had the papers scattered around on the bed where she currently sat leaning against her girlfriend's chest. Adora's legs were on either side of her, arms wrapped around Catra's waist and her chin resting on Catra's shoulder as she pretended to pay attention to what Catra was doing.
"Your hair," Adora clarified. "It's getting longer. Do you think you'll ever cut it again?"
Catra moved her head to glance at Adora and smiled lightly when she saw Adora's nose scrunch up as her hair brushed over it. The fact that her hair was long enough to even do that, the brown strands grown out to her shoulders now, was something to appreciate.
"Well, Bow was saying I should trim the ends to keep it healthy but, no, I think I want my long hair back. It just...it feels more like me. You know?"
Something flashed in Adora's eyes that Catra didn't quite get.
"Yeah," Adora mumbled. "You're right."
Catra frowned, suddenly self-conscious. It was silly to even doubt it, but she cautiously asked, "Do you...like the short hair better?"
"What?!" Adora's eyes widened. "No! I mean- I like it, I like you, with or without hair- uh short hair, that is. I- I mean regardless if you had hair, I'd still probably-"
She was cut off with a squeaky laugh from Catra, who was now feeling ridiculous for even asking. "Okay, okay. Relax, dummy. I know what you meant." Tilting her head up at an awkward angle, she kissed Adora's cheek. "But don't worry. I'm not going bald anytime soon, even if Sparkles makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes."
Adora laughed and Catra relished feeling the shake of Adora's shoulders beneath her. It felt nice, being the one to make Adora smile again.
The sound died down and once again they sat in silence, the only sound the faint rustling of papers. Adora's hand moved up to comb through Catra's hair, her fingers toying with it and scratching at her scalp. Catra sank into the touch, a small purr bubbling out of her as she enjoyed the quiet moment.
Still, something was nagging at Catra, stopping her from enjoying it all. Because of course she would find something wrong. Only, this time, it didn't have to do with her.
It was the look Adora had when Catra had answered. Catra knew Adora well and she knew when Adora was hiding something, no matter how small or inconsequential. Years ago, when they were still cadets, she wouldn't have pushed. But, now, they were older and Catra knew better than to let Adora bottle everything up.
"What about you?" Catra asked, and judging by the way Adora tensed, she'd hit the nail right on the head.
"What...what about me?" Adora tried to sound nonchalant. Emphasis on tried.
Catra sighed, knowing it was time to take decisive action. She flipped over in Adora's hold so they were chest-to-chest, Catra's knowing eyes peering up into Adora's wide and nervous ones.
Reaching up, Catra ran a hand through Adora's hair and, when she reached the hairband, carefully pulled it away. Adora's golden blonde hair fell around her face and Catra pushed away the stray strands behind her ear.
"Have you ever thought about cutting it?" Catra asked. She noticed the way Adora looked away, her face just barely turning red. Catra could feel Adora's breathing get a bit shorter, could hear Adora's heartbeat get a bit faster.
"I-I mean," Adora stammered, still not meeting Catra's eyes, "I wouldn't...wouldn't really know how else to style it. I've always had it like this."
"True," Catra acknowledged, her voice achingly patient. Stars, this place is turning me into such a sap. "But that's not what I asked."
Adora's eyes flickered over to Catra, only to look away again. Her brows creased together as she raised a hand, gesturing uselessly as she searched for what to say.
"I don't..." Adora's mouth opened and closed as she tried to find her words. "I mean, I just..."
"Hey," Catra butted her head lightly underneath Adora's chin, "Breathe."
Adora exhaled shakily, nodding. "Right, you're right." She squeezed her eyes shut as she took in one deep breath...another...
Catra waited, mimicking her out of habit. She felt her own body move up with each of Adora's inhales, down with every release.
"I don't mean to- to make it such a big deal," Adora started again, laughing a little at herself but it was short and scared. "It's just hair."
"It's important to you," Catra said. It wasn't a question but Adora confirmed it anyway with a hesitant nod. "How long have you been thinking about cutting it?"
Adora bit the bottom of her lip, finally daring to meet Catra's gaze.
So, a while, then.
"We could start small if you're nervous," Catra offered. Then with a small chuckle, she added, "You could cut it like mine and we could match."
Adora hummed at that. She still seemed nervous about the whole ordeal but she didn't refute anything. Watching her, Catra could see the small battle being waged in Adora's head. Her girlfriend never did learn that she could just want something without it turning into a whole debacle — but Catra also knew Adora was working on it. Who was she to deny a helping hand?
"Here." Catra dislodged herself only momentarily to search through the papers she'd been working on until she found one with a blank back to it. Grabbing a pencil, she leaned back into Adora in their original position.
Catra quickly sketched out Adora's face by memory. Over the years, she hadn't let herself draw often but she'd certainly improved since the doodles scratched into their bunk as kids. When the war ended, it didn't take long for her to find comfort in the old hobby, especially with Adora's encouragement — now she only hoped she could provide some comfort back.
With the face now drawn out, Catra abstained from drawing Adora's signature ponytail and hair poof, instead sketching out something new.
A minute or two passed.
"Bangs or no bangs?"
"You're joking right? No bangs."
Another few minutes. Another sketch next to the first.
"What if we parted it on that side?"
"Like this?"
Soon, the paper was filled with various ideas, some fully fleshed out, some half-finished and abandoned. Every once and a while Adora would quietly point out that she liked the top of that one or the sides of this one. The room was filled with the sound of lead against paper, their laps were coated in tiny eraser bits, and Adora was holding Catra just a little bit tighter.
When they'd finally run out of ideas, Catra glanced up to see the thin layer of tears glazing over Adora's eyes. Purr rumbling deeper, Catra butted her head against Adora again, smiling when Adora returned the favor with an easy kiss behind her ear.
"Thank you," Adora whispered, keeping her lips against Catra. "It...this means a lot."
"Any excuse to show off my talents to my amazing girlfriend," Catra quipped back but it was warm and, ugh, so sappy. Even softer, she added, "We can go at your own pace but if you really want this, then I think you should go for it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Then, with a mischievous smile, Catra nuzzled into Adora closer before she whispered, "Not to mention, you'd look really fucking hot with shaved sides."
•••••
Adora had spent the better half of the last few hours running her hand through her hair — what was left of it, that is.
The smile hadn't quite left her face since Bow showed her the finished product. Had she been nervous letting him anywhere near her with scissors? Absolutely, but better him than some stranger.
The sides and the back were shaved close to the skin, and the rest laid longer on the top of her head. In a way, the bulk on the top kept the spirit of her signature hair poof but with a completely new feel to it. It was floppy, unapologetically messy and unrestrained, and it was the freest Adora had felt in a long time.
Messy wasn't in her vocabulary. Her whole life, every hair had always been kept in its right place, carefully tucked out of the way to maximize visibility and focus.
Now it didn't reflect any of the military grade formality she had clung to out of necessity. Now it simply looked...well, it looked like her.
Her friends had been helpful with hyping her up too. Glimmer and Bow were ecstatic to see her trying something different and Catra was downright malicious with her compliments.
Truthfully, she wasn't entirely sure why she wanted this so badly. She didn't understand why the thought of cutting her hair had left her shaky, in an odd mix of total excitement and debilitating anxiety.
It was merely that, since they had finished their rebuilding efforts and were focused more on the political day-to-day of running a kingdom, Adora's life had slowed down where others had picked up.
Glimmer was busy at all hours of the day it seemed. Catra was (begrudgingly, though she secretly enjoyed it) at her side as Glimmer's right hand. And, apparently, being the unofficial future king meant Bow had a lot of new responsibilities that kept him moving between kingdoms, establishing committees, and attending way too many brunches with Micah that would always leave him as a nervous wreck.
Everyone else had so much to take care of and Adora...didn't. Her strong suit was battle strategy, not politics. She tried helping Bow with his meetings but she couldn't focus enough to be of use. Sitting in on Glimmer and Catra's meetings was just as bad, if not worse. Construction had finished in Brightmoon, the Fright Zone, Salineas.
It wasn't necessarily bad. Adora had plenty of talks with Perfuma about taking time off, about enjoying the fact that she didn't have to do anything. Unfortunately for Adora, relaxation was a foreign concept.
Perfuma had recommended finding hobbies — according to her, training didn't count. Adora tried, she really did.
As it turns out, she liked sports. Luckily Brightmoon had plenty. She didn't like meditating. She enjoyed baking because of the precise measurements, but not cooking (though her love for food never wavered).
And she liked hiking. It was one of the things she could do when the others were in meetings all day and she needed something to keep her moving. She'd bring a journal and map out her trails, making notes of the terrain and the wildlife. It was peaceful and Adora could set the pace.
But it was also quiet. It gave Adora the space to think about the things she never had the time to think about before. And these thoughts weren't always about the war or her past, they weren't about what she talked about with Perfuma or about the state of Etheria.
Adora had begun to think about herself. Who knew introspection could be so exhausting? But now that she knew she could have what she wanted, it was only natural she'd start to ask exactly what that was.
She wanted to cut her hair. The reason felt fuzzy and out of focus, but she knew she wanted to and she knew this desire wasn't new but simply something she'd never let herself focus on because she never had the time before.
As she stood in front of the mirror in her room, hand ruffling through her blonde locks, Adora felt happier than she had in a long time. But it was a different kind of happy, if that made sense. It wasn't the same happiness she felt when she was picnicking with her friends or when she was cuddling with Catra. It was a happiness that belonged to just her, that left a warm feeling in her stomach and a dopey smile on her face.
There was a knock to her right and Adora turned to see Catra standing in the doorway, arms crossed.
"Hey Adora," She purred, wasting no time to walk over to her.
"Hey," Adora greeted, smile widening as she pulled Catra into a kiss, hands finding their way immediately to her waist.
A good thing, considering it was Catra's turn to run her hand through Adora's new hair. Chills ran down Adora's spine when her nails scraped up and down her scalp.
They pulled away and Adora was certain, somehow, that she was falling in love all over again between the closeness of their bodies and the pools of admiration overflowing in Catra's multicolored eyes.
"You look good," Catra said, getting straight to the point.
Adora hummed contently, "It, um...it feels more like me. You know?" Then, she shifted, gripping Catra's waist a little tighter. "So, you like it then?" That flicker of fear involuntarily making its appearance again.
"Like it?" Catra raised an eyebrow as if that were the most absurd question Adora had ever asked. "Adora, I've just spent the last thirty minutes bragging to Sparkles about how I have the most handsome girlfriend in all of Etheria and you're asking if I like it?"
Adora's cheeks heated up immediately at that and she buried her face in the crook of Catra's neck to hide her embarrassment. It was a bit awkward given their height differences, and Adora's sudden weight collapsing against Catra made the two stumble, but Catra just laughed.
"What?! It's true!" Catra defended herself, voice pitching up an octave as she attempted to steady herself from falling over.
"I, um..." Adora trailed off, mumbling the rest of her sentence so quietly that even Catra couldn't hear it. Her face burned dangerously hot against Catra's skin.
"You what?" Catra asked and Adora shook her head, her blonde tips tickling Catra's chin and making her laugh again. "Come on, you have to say it now. The curiosity is killing me!"
"I-" Adora cleared her throat, still hiding as she admitted sheepishly, "I like it when you call me that. Um, handsome."
Catra's brows shot up for a brief second, mostly just surprised that Adora would be so upfront about something so personal. It was a pleasant surprise and one Catra wanted to...encourage.
"Well then, handsome," Catra purred borderline indecently. Her hand tugged Adora's hair lightly so the girl would look up at her. Wide blue eyes met dilated pupils. "You better get used to it."