Chapter Text
Phil Coulson was a man who did many things. He controlled the Avengers with ease, he could fight off ten men with a paper clip, he made excellent coffee, and he could kiss his children’s’ boo-boos better. He couldn’t, however, decide on the perfect nanny.
Phil didn’t know how or why or when he became the official ‘decider of the nanny’ for the Avengers and his own kids, he just knew he hated it.
Who knew how difficult it would be to have a nanny that ticked all the boxes? Certainly not Phil.
The Nanny for the Avengers had to go above and beyond any other nanny in the world. Hell, they had to pretty much be a SHIELD Agent for this to work.
Clunking his head down against the desk in a rare moment of despair, Phil buzzed the secretary out front to send in the last of the interviewees for the Nanny position.
If this one doesn’t work out, we’re screwed.
Phil looked up right as the door opened, and a stunningly good-looking man walked in and smiled at Phil, his hand outstretched.
Standing up, Phil shook the man’s hand before gesturing for him to sit down.
Plopping down himself, Phil flipped open the man’s file that he had yet to peruse. “You know Mr. Barton, I am surprised. Not many men would like the position of being a nanny. Most consider it to be a little too…. Feminine, for their tastes”
Barton just shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t really know about them sir, I just know that I’ve been taking care of kids my entire life…. Well, almost my entire. There weren’t any younger kids than myself to take care of until I reached the orphanage”
Phil nodded, “Yes. I see that you helped the nuns with the children there, you also…. Were in a circus? Is that correct?”
Barton nodded, “I was. I helped with the performer’s kids when I wasn’t performing myself”
Phil raised an eyebrow, “You performed?”
Barton nodded once again, “‘World’s Greatest Marksman,’ or at least that’s what they billed me as. I’m sure there are several snipers and mercenaries who would disagree with me”
Phil chuckled, “I’m sure there are….. So after the circus, you got your GED and then helped out at a daycare center, Boys and Girls Club, and you were even a Big Brother…”
“Yes sir”
Phil nodded, “Well you don’t have any formal experience, but sometimes that’s much better…..”
Phil set the file down, “Now. You know that the Avengers and myself are in the limelight a lot, and partake in a lot of dangerous things”
Barton smiled, “I do own a TV sir”
Phil just raised an eyebrow, “Yes. Anyway, as I was saying. Because of this, sometimes the kids could or possibly will be put in danger. So, the nanny that we hire needs to be able to protect the children”
Barton nodded, “Not a problem sir. I know several different forms of martial arts.”
Phil hummed, “And they would be?”
“Taekwondo, Jiu Jitzu, Karate, street fighting, boxing, Krav Maga, sword fighting, Aikido, Judo, fencing, archery of course, Mardani Khel, Sambo, and I’m starting to get into Kalaripayattu”
Phil’s eyebrows steadily rose the longer Barton went on, until they were almost at his hairline. “That…. That is a lot for someone who is only”
Phil looked down at his file, “19…. You’re only 19?”
Barton nodded, “Yes sir…… Does my age matter?”
Phil shook his head, “No. Not at all. I was just surprised”
Barton smiled, “Most people are.”
Phil nodded, “Well it seems you’ll definitely be able to handle any security issues, on to item two. Languages. Do you speak any?”
Barton nodded once again, “Yes. German, French, Italian, Spanish, Korean, Greek, Tagalog, Russian, Arabic, Vietnamese, ASL, Farsi, Mandarin, Japanese, Dutch, and Gaelic – but I’m rusty”
Phil just blinked, “You speak 16 languages and you’re only 19”
Barton smiled, “I traveled to a lot of places. You learn the language or you don’t eat, sleep, or get tips”
Phil nodded slowly, “Uh… Right…. On to some other questions.”
Barton smiled and settled back against his chair.
“Who’s your favorite Avenger?”
“Black Widow”
Phil raised an eyebrow, “Any particular reason?”
“I saw her in action about ten years ago. Saved my butt. Also, she’s so badass, pardon the French”
Phil just nodded, “Right….. Any special skills?”
Clint hummed, “Well besides the sword fighting, archery, and so on, I like swimming, piano, guitar, singing, plays multiple sports, I can do make-up and hair…. Oh! And I love to cook”
Phil blinked, “That’s… that’s really impressive for someone your age. Seriously.”
Barton shrugged, “I had a lot of free time”
Phil just shook his head, this kid has no ego. “Okay. Next question. Willing to live-in?”
“Yes”
Phil nodded, “Your opinions on night-times”
Barton sighed and looked at Phil, “To be honest sir? I believe that children should go to parents first during the night because the parents should be the ones to soothe the kids, but I also believe the nanny should always be there to help.”
Phil nodded, “Good answer. Why do you want this job?”
Barton just gave Phil a sheepish smile, “I saw a picture of one of the kids in the newspaper. He looked scared and alone. I wanted to help him.”
Phil was surprised. That wasn’t the answer people usually gave. Phil remembered that article. The child in the picture had been his own son, Robby. Robby had been pulled away from Phil in the crowd and had been on the verge of tears before Phil had gotten to him.
The whole team had been outraged when they saw the magazine the next day, causing this search to find a nanny.
“Admirable. So… Last Question…. Why do you think you will get this job?”
Barton looked Phil dead in the eyes with a serious expression (not something most people could do) “Because I can help them. All of them”
Phil just smiled and stood up, offering his hand to Barton “Welcome to the team Mr. Barton”
Barton just smiled and shook Phil’s hand in return.