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Obi-Wan debated for hours with Bail and Yoda where they should take Padmé and the twins. Naboo was ruled out almost immediately – the choice too obvious – and while Tatooine and Denon were given a bit more consideration, they too were discarded.
Alderaan might have worked, but too many people close to the emperor knew that Padmé had a close friendship with the Organas. Lah’mu, Yavin IV, and a few other isolated worlds were mentioned, but with how weak Padmé still was, they needed a planet with easy access to medical resources.
Eventually, though, they settled on Takodana. The planet was remote enough – close to a hyperspace lane yet not important enough to draw the attention – and the steady flow of travelers, smugglers, and every type of shady character made it seem like the perfect place to just disappear.
There was a brief concern about how they would explain Padmé’s disappearance, but with the help of the droids, Bail was able to fake an accident with Padmé’s ship, making it appear as if she had gone into labor and made a fatal piloting error.
But none of them were surprised when it took hours to convince Padmé that this was the right decision. Once she’d regained consciousness, she’d wept for Anakin and, when her tears finally started to slow, demanded that they go back to Coruscant.
“We need to confront Palpatine. The galaxy needs to know the truth of what happened,” Padmé argued after Bail refused to change course.
“Padmé, we can’t. He’s too powerful for a direct confrontation,” Obi-Wan said.
“Then we start a rebellion. We need to do something – anything – to fight against him.”
“And we will,” Bail said. “I’ve already reached out to some contacts. But successful rebellions don’t happen overnight.”
Her protests continued when she realized they intended to take her and the twins into hiding until they were older. Obi-Wan worried they might have to sedate her until they reached Takodana, but he noticed a subtle shift in Padmé’s expression when Leia woke up crying, ready to be fed again.
“Padmé, please,” Obi-Wan said, carefully bringing the fussing baby over to her. “They need you. Don’t you think Luke and Leia deserve to grow up with their mother?”
“I… I guess,” Padmé conceded, scowling a little as he helped her sit up so she could feed Leia. “But I still want to do something.”
“Staying alive to fight another day is doing something. There is nothing cowardly about that,” Bail assured her, glancing first at Padmé and then at Obi-Wan as he spoke. “Something tells me that Luke and Leia will play important roles in determining the future of the galaxy.”
And with that, the conversation seemed to be settled as Bail excused himself to relay instructions to his pilot.
The plan worked.
Two quiet years had passed since they landed on Takodana, and while the occasional inquisitor or imperial officer came through the port, no one suspected they weren’t who they said.
They kept a low profile, but the locals knew them as Ben and Sabé, the quiet married couple who decided to try their hand at farming after their twins were born.
But it was hard.
So fucking hard.
Grief almost consumed both of them that first year. If it wasn’t for the twins and the work involved in building their little homestead on the parcel of land they purchased, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if they would have had the strength to carry on.
Somehow, they made it work even if neither of them was quite prepared for all of the changes their new lives required.
But the grief was still there, lingering just under the surface. And just when Obi-Wan thought he was starting to make progress with processing his grief, Leia had toddled over to him on shaky legs as she called him ‘da-da.’
Luke was close behind, following his sister’s lead as he grabbed Obi-Wan’s leg, demanding attention.
Obi-Wan had quietly panicked even as he tried to put on a brave face for the twins. They wouldn’t understand the myriad of emotions that those words evoked in him. Or how it reminded him of things he had once secretly longed for.
But the immediate guilt he felt when he realized he wanted to be their dad.
Oh god, the guilt was overwhelming
So fucking overwhelming
Sometimes even now that’d he grown more accustomed to them calling him dad, he’d slip away from the house so he could weep without the twins noticing.
It wasn’t fair.
He didn’t deserve this.
It should have been Anakin’s life. Etching out a living with his wife and children on a small farm a couple of hours outside the nearest port.
He threw up the first time it happened, too consumed with guilt when he realized that he had enjoyed the soft cries that escaped her lips as her body moved against him.
Far more than he should have.
She wasn’t his.
Even if they were posing as a married couple, sharing a bed every night as they worked together to raise Luke and Leia.
Even if he was slowly realizing that he ached for more with her. And that maybe he had been suppressing some of these feelings for far longer than he was willing to admit.
It didn’t help that Padmé was too fucking understanding as she brushed his hair out of his face and rubbed soothing circles across his back while he lay hunched over in the ‘fresher.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse as he took his time to clean his face before he turned to look at her.
“It's fine, Obi-Wan," Padmé assured him, pressing a soft kiss against his bare shoulder. "I understand."
"You shouldn't, though. The only reason why it happened is because I killed him. We wouldn't be here otherwise."
"Ani made his decision," Padmé said, briefly closing her eyes as tears started to form. "I… I wish things had turned out differently, but Obi-Wan, you had to do it. You save me… saved us. I… I don't think Luke and Leia would be here if you hadn't."
"You should still hate me," Obi-Wan said, his voice breaking as a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. "If... if I had been a better teacher, all of this would have turned out differently. I failed you, the twins... the entire galaxy."
An agonized moment passed as Padmé reached for his hand, tangling their fingers together, before she carefully said, “I think... I think you're too harsh on yourself. Maybe... maybe your teaching could have improved, but you weren't the only one. Palpatine fooled the entire order. It... it wasn't just your responsibility."
"You are far too generous with me."
"Nonsense. You have always been there for me. From the trouble on Naboo when I was queen to bringing me to safety after Mustafar to helping me raise the twins, I've always been able to count on you."
He gave a derisive laugh, shaking his head as he said, "I was only doing my duty."
“You have never just done your duty. Not with me.”
“Padmé... I...” Obi-Wan paused, glancing over at her, unsure how to respond. She… she wasn’t wrong. In all his years as a Jedi, there were many things he had only done because of his duty to the order, but helping Padmé had never been one of them.
"You're one of the very best men in the galaxy, Obi-Wan. Nothing will ever change that,” Padmé said, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before helping him stand back up.
"Come on. I think a shower will help us both feel a little better right now."
The second time was somehow even worse as they grew more comfortable with each other, and he was quickly learning how to draw quiet gasps from her lips while he teased her cunt, taking his time to bring her to orgasm. And he had to bite his tongue to keep from whispering endearments as he slowly eased his cock inside her. But he wasn't able to resist covering her with soft kisses when he finally orgasmed, filling her cunt.
And after only a few more nights spent exploring each other, he knew he was already in love with Padmé. Try as he might, there was no use denying it.
It went against everything he had been taught to believe as a Jedi, but how could he not love her? Or the twins?
He didn't know how much he wanted his own little family until he held Luke and Leia.
His wildest, most secret dream was coming true.
It just cost the galaxy almost everything for it to happen.
A few months passed and then a few more as their arrangement continued. Every day he expected her to end things. Insist that they go back to just being friends. But a tiny sliver of hope began to grow when he still woke up each morning with Padmé snuggled tightly against him and their nights ended with her crying out his name.
He didn’t know why she wasn’t repulsed by him and what he’d done, but, despite the heavy guilt that weighed him down, he quietly found some small happiness with Padmé.
Until now.
God, this was so fucked.
He didn't even think about it being a possibility.
"Obi-Wan?"
His startled gaze shot up to where Padmé was nervously fiddling with the datapad as she stared at him expectantly.
"Say something, please."
"What…" he paused, swallowing harshly before continuing, "what do you want to do?"
"I want to keep it."
"Oh."
"Do you… do you not want the baby?" Padmé asked, running a protective hand over her stomach.
"I… I…" He closed his eyes, needing a moment to gather himself.
Dear god, he wanted this so much, but oh, did that thought make him feel so fucking guilty.
This should have been Anakin's life.
It should have been Anakin's baby.
He didn’t deserve to experience this after what he did.
God, he was such a fucking monster for being happy right now.
"Forgive me, but I do. I really do," Obi-Wan whispered, his voice broken as he brought his gaze up to meet hers.
They stared at each other, both still trying to process that this was actually happening. But when he started crying – unsure whether it was out of happiness or the overwhelming guilt he felt just then – Padmé quickly closed the distance between them to wrap her arms tightly around him.
He wasn't sure how much time passed as he clung to her, but despite the tears slowing, he was reluctant to let go of her.
"I love you.” The words escaped before he even knew he opened his mouth, and he panicked, prepared for her to reject him.
"I know," Padmé smiled, reaching a hand up to brush back the hair that had fallen over his face. "I think I’ve always known. I love you, too."
He stared at her in disbelief.
She loved him?
Impossible.
He couldn't imagine how she could ever feel that way about him.
But then she repeated herself, whispering, "I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi," as she drew him into a kiss.
And he was starting to realize that maybe it wasn't as impossible as he thought.
Time passed as they clung to each other sharing soft kisses and tender caresses until a noise from the twins' room brought them back to reality.
"Sounds like naptime is over," Padmé murmured, giving him one last kiss before pulling back with a smile.
"Yeah…"
Not even a minute later, childish giggles burst through the room as the two toddlers rushed in.
"Daddy!" Leia cried, throwing herself at Obi-Wan to give him a hug, while Luke immediately went to his mother.
"Leia," Obi-Wan smiled, swinging her up in the air with a laugh.
“Again, Daddy!” Leia demanded when he went to set her back down.
"Me next!" Luke said, wanting to join his sister in the fun as he eagerly reached for Obi-Wan.
The grief would never disappear completely, but as he glanced over at Padmé in between swinging a laughing Luke and Leia up in the air, he knew he was happy right then.
Even though it wasn't supposed to be him.
These memories weren’t supposed to belong to him.
And the guilt over his role in all of this still quietly ate away at him.
But he loved his little family, and Obi-Wan knew that he would always treasure these brief moments of pure happiness whenever they came.