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“I’m worried I’ll harm her inadvertently, of course I am, but—“
“But?” Emmett prompted.
I sighed. “That’s not all I’m worried about.” My head fell into my hands. When I spoke again, it was barely more than a whisper. Human ears would not have been able to pick it up. I desperately hoped that Carlisle and Esme wouldn’t be able to either. “I also have no idea what I’m doing in… that department.”
“So you’re a virgin,” Emmett boomed, grinning. “She’s, what, like twelve?”
I glared at him. “She’s twenty.” At least, I thought she was. That was a typical age for a college junior, I supposed.
He ignored that. “—She probably is too.”
“She’s probably kissed someone though.” Alice teased, smirking from behind her sewing machine.
I hadn’t given much thought to Bella’s sexual history— it didn’t feel appropriate to do so. Besides, I hadn’t asked her, and it felt rude to speculate. But she was beautiful, and it wasn’t as if our classmates were oblivious to the fact. Her disinterest in them gave no indication that she had held no such interest in the past.
“So has he!” I was heartened by Emmett’s incredulity on my behalf, but when he looked to me for affirmation, I shook my head.
His mouth fell open. “Never?”
Years of his human life flashed through his mind. I did my best to tune it out.
“Never.”
“Well, the good news is it’s easy.” I lifted my head a fraction as he added, “Just trust your instincts.”
I groaned.
“I don’t think me trusting my instincts can end well in anything regarding Bella.”
He grinned impishly, “You could always ask Tanya for kissing lessons.”
“No, he cannot!” Rosalie’s voice rang through the hall as she sailed down the stairs. Her eyes narrowed at me almost as soon as she entered my view. “Edward, I can see you thinking about it— bad idea.”
“Of course I wasn’t—“ While I hadn't even vaguely entertained the notion of asking Tanya, admittedly, I had considered that it might not be the worst idea to consult Irina or Kate in the matter. The Denalis frequently...enjoyed human men.
Perhaps they could offer some advice—
Rose swung her legs over the back of the couch and vaulted into the air, landing lightly across Emmett’s lap. She cut me off, giving me a stern look. “If the tables were turned, and you were Bella, how would you feel?” She raised an eyebrow.
I shuddered, thinking of Mike Newton. “Of course. You’re right, that would be a terrible idea.”
“Besides,” Jasper added from beside Alice, “Tanya already can’t keep her hands off you.”
“I wish she’d try,” I grumbled.
He chuckled, remembering the increasingly creative evasion tactics I'd been forced to employ to dodge Tanya's advances over the years.
Rosalie and Emmett exchanged a look.
I thought of the way heat flooded Bella’s cheeks when she was embarrassed, and wondered faintly whether mine had done the same at one time. If I could blush, I was sure that I would be doing so now.
I was flattered by Tanya’s attention in a very objective way, but more than anything, it me uneasy. Perhaps, this was partially due to her having made no effort to conceal her thoughts about me in my presence. I supposed she couldn’t help it— my family was used to living with a mind-reader. Tanya wasn’t. I shoved away the images that flooded my mind, vestiges of her thoughts during our last visit to Alaska.
“I think you’re overthinking this,” Alice chimed, her voice interspersed with the soft, metallic clicking of the sewing needle against the base of the machine. “It looks like it’ll be fine.” She furrowed her brow, showing me recent vision of hers— Bella and I, wrapped in each others’ arms.
She was grinning up at me, glowing in the sun. Something shimmered against her skin— me, I realized, reflecting the sunlight. We were somewhere I knew well— a meadow at the end of a defunct hiking trail. The image disappeared abruptly.
“See?” Alice’s voice was smug. “Nothing to worry about.”
“There’s everything to worry about,” I grumbled.