Chapter Text
In Bucky’s opinion, if anyone was asking for it, well he thinks Steve Rogers is a pretty stand up guy. Always has been, really. Polite, never talked down to others, always a gentleman. But for some damn reason, his attitude turned to shit when Darcy was around. Steve thinks he’s pretty good at hiding it, but Bucky knows him like the back of his hand, and when Darcy was around the two of them, warning flags always seem to go off in his mind.
If Bucky was in the kitchen making food for the two of them, they’re always on opposite sides of the room. Sometimes the team never had the luxury of them being so quiet, their conversations instantly turning sour and then into a verbal brawl. Truthfully, it pissed him off to no end. But don’t think this is some one-sided hate relationship. Where Steve is quiet and full of ugly stares, Darcy matches those with sassy comments just to get a rise from him.
The thing was, Bucky had no clue where it all came from, or what brought everything on.
“Why don’t you liker her?” He snapped at Steve one night, almost seeing red after dragging the big lug away from Darcy where the bickering two were having a heated argument about God knows what. “What the fuck did Lewis do to you to make you act like such a fucking prick!”
Steve was fuming, still not coming down from his anger their yelling match caused. He didn’t answer, which only added fuel to Bucky’s fire. “Dammit, answer me!”
“I don’t like the way she acts, alright?” Steve, who was now standing in front of the bathroom sink, knuckles white from how hard he was gripping the damn thing. His voice sounded more even than it had just a few minutes ago, letting Bucky calm down a bit as well. “She’s so vulgar, everything she says is either an innuendo or some stupid pop culture reference. It drives me nuts, Buck.”
Bucky only rolled his eyes, “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, Bucky,” Steve sighed, hands releasing the sink as he turned to face his friend, “Honest to God, I can’t stand the woman.”
---
“What the fuck was his problem? Like, ok. Obviously politicians aren’t treated as nicely as they were in the 40’s but Jesus Christ! Does he not see how those assholes treat their own? Is he really that ignorant that he can’t see-”
“Darcy.” She went quiet. Usually if it were Jane trying to shut her up after a yelling match with Steve she’d just be telling her to shut the hell up until they both got tired of screaming. Natasha though, once she uses her you need to calm down before I make you calm down voice, Darcy zips her mouth and throws away the key.
Sighing, Darcy falls face first into her mattress with a weak, “Sorry.” She honestly never understood why her and Steve acted like this towards each other. He gave her small smiles here and there when they passed each other in the halls near the labs only a few years ago, but once Bucky joined the gang, those smiles were replaced with mean glares. Ok, so she might have sat in Bucky’s lap one too many times, or played with his hair until he dozed off while they were watching some stupid reality show Barton left on, but once she got her first round of nasty looks from Steve, she stopped. But Steve did not. The looks and snarky comments kept coming, and she was going to snark back, dammit.
“Tell me what to do, Nat. Tell me what I did wrong that made him hate my fucking guts so I can fix it.”
Natasha sighed and joined her on the bed, laying on her back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to tell you, Darcy.”
“You’re going to lay there and tell me Steve hasn’t mentioned anything about his undying hatred for me?” Rolling onto her side, she looked at Natasha with sad eyes, “I don’t want him to hate me, Nat. I try to be civil with him, but he just pushes the wrong button whenever we have a conversation and the next thing I know- BOOM. I’m in my room crying while he’s off punching a wall or something.”
“Have you told James?”
Darcy looked at her friend, confused at what she was meant. “Have I told Bucky wha- No. Hell to the fucking no.”
“Why?”
She scoffed, “Why?! ‘Oh hey Bucky, you know how we’ve know each other for a few months now? Well, guess what! I have a huge crush on you and your stupid asshole boyfriend! Wanna go out?’ Is that what you want me to say?”
“Probably wouldn’t hurt.”
“No, it wouldn’t. What would hurt is having Steve laugh in my face and convince Bucky that I’m no good for them. I’m not taking that chance, Nat. I value my ego too much.” Kicking off her shoes, Darcy shoved her face into her pillow. “Leave me,” she muffled, “My pride has been damaged. Only sleep will heal my wounded soul.”
--
“Any luck?” Clint asked, comfortably watching a rerun of The Real Housewives of whatever. Nat shook her head, and Bucky rubbed his hands over his face. “This is fucking ridiculous.”
“I have a question,” Tony spoke up, “Why does the good Captain hate Lewis so much?”
Bucky sighed, “He doesn’t hate her, he just can’t get past his jealousy to see that he has a huge fucking crush on her.”
“Wait, wait.” Tony actually laughed, the prick. “Rogers is jealous of Lewis because of…”
“Me.”
“What about you?”
“He saw her getting a little handsy with me a few times, not that I minded.”
“So Rogers is jealous because a hot intern was handsy with you, but at the same time has this unknown, angry crush on her.” Tony shook his head, a disbelieving smirk on his lips, “You guys are so fucked up.”
“You know, this is like that episode of Days of Our Lives-”
“Shut up, Clint.” Everyone groaned. No one wanted to hear where his Days of Our Lives rant was going. They never ended well.
“Hear me out! Maybe, we should set these two up. We all get called out on missions, except Steve and Bucky. And since Lewis doesn’t have Jane around right now, she has a bunch of free time.” Everyone was quiet, Clint might actually be on to something. “We do the lock down procedure. Y’know, the one we do when no one is here but Lewis so no one tries to snatch her while we’re gone? So it’s just her, Steve, and Bucky and the three levels they're able to access while we're gone.”
“They’ll get suspicious, they aren’t stupid.” Tony remarked, but he was right. There was no way they weren’t going to tell something fishy was going on.
“Ok, then we’ll just make it seem like a sudden emergency. Rogers and Bucky seem like good guys to protect Lewis while we're gone, just in case Stark's security goes funky.”
“Nothing has ever gone wrong with my stuff!”
“Evil artificial intelligences count as something going wrong, Tony.” He quieted down.
“Sounds good to me. When do you want to do this?” Nat asked. She loved Darcy and Steve but Jesus, the tension between the two was almost unbearable. Almost.
“Morning,” Bucky suggested, “Everything shitty like that always happens in the morning. Steve is out like a light, always is after he gets into it with Darce. He won’t question it at first.”
“Then it’s settled,” Clint said, rubbing his hands together with an dumb smirk on his face, “Leave Lewis with Steve and Bucky until they fix their problem. This is just like that episode of Days of Our Lives….”