Chapter Text
It was already late. Sun had set, and dimming blue hues of the sky lazily crawled up the pale wooden plane of the engawa.
Izuna led him through the halls of the house, with a lamp in his hand as the only light source. This house was much bigger than his own, but a little smaller than grandfather and uncle’s. Kagami thought, as his small steps followed Izuna’s larger ones.
The older beta stopped before a room, slid open the door and stood aside, then gestured for Kagami to come in. It was dark inside, but still Kagami did as he was told, remembered his mother’s words telling him to comply.
The sky had turned a deeper shade of blue, almost red now. Kagami kept staring at it as if he could see his mother from afar if he stared hard enough, while Izuna knelt down and lit up the lamps in the room.
“There, this should be better.” - The young man exclaimed as the room brightened. Kagami turned around and quietly observed the new scenery before his eyes. Izuna’s room wasn’t too large, but much larger than his and his mother’s back at home. It looked ordinary, nothing stood out except for the swordstand and the fact that there weren’t any bookshelves, but only a small stack of books and scrolls laid neatly on the small table in the back of the room.
Now that he thought about it, he didn’t see many books around here though. There were scrolls and books in the living room and on the shelves on the walls when they walked through the hallways, but they weren't all over the house compared to the boy’s old home. Although his own home was small, they had shelves of books placed everywhere in the house.
Izuna laid out two futons and patted on one.
“Here, get some sleep, little one. You must be tired after all of that. Feel comfortable making yourself at home, and tell me if you need anything okay?”
The curly haired boy hesitated for a moment, then came over and climbed under the cover. Izuna smiled and patted him gently on the shoulder.
“Don't worry. You are home now, Kagami.” - He said - “You’re not alone anymore. You have your clan to protect you from now on.”
No - thought Kagami. He had never been alone.
Because mother has been protecting him all this time.
~o0o~
“Listen carefully to every word I tell you, Kagami. You have to remember and obey them at all costs.
When uncle Hashirama lets you down, you will go to the gate where uncle points you to. He will have to leave you there, and some people will approach you. They wear high collared dressing and have eyes like yours. They might look intimidating and scary, and they will be questioning your intention for being there. Don’t be scared. Tell them what I taught you, do what I taught you. Make them trust you enough to take you inside. You have to convince them to take you inside.
They are your family, Kagami.”
~o0o~
Kagami grew up and couldn't understand why his other clansmates didn’t like him.
Some whispered behind his back, many ignored him on purpose and banned their children from playing or coming close to him.
Kagami couldn’t understand, but he didn't feel sad all the time. He already had two people loving him unconditionally.
He had always been looking up to Uncle Hashirama like one would be looking up to an ancient tree.
Uncle was one of the biggest, strongest, and no doubt the most kind-hearted person in the Senju clan - Kagami could bet all of his toys that uncle Hashirama was the nicest person on Earth. Whenever uncle wasn’t doing important stuff for the clan, the large man would piggyback him to the clan’s market and spoil him with all sorts of treats or train him. Uncle Hashirama always tried to make silly jokes to make him smile and warm up to him, which the boy would later learn that they were to distract him away from the mean gazes and words of other passing clansmate. Uncle was his best friend, his mentor, a person for him to look up to. But he was never the boy’s hero.
Uncle Hashirama was loved by everyone in the clan. His mom, however, wasn’t.
Mom didn’t warm up to anyone other than him and uncle. He kept distance from them - a distance good enough to keep them safe from other clan members. To outsiders, mom seemed barely expressive. Cold, stern and could even become mean if people tried to approach his son. Nobody could lay a hand on him or say mean things to him in the presence of his mom.
Perhaps the only people who knew how kind his mom truly was were Kagami and his uncle. Because once the doors were closed - his mom became a totally different person.
Uncle Hashirama is Kagami’s best friend, but mom was the hero in the boy’s heart.
Kagami knew from the heart how deeply his mom loved him. Though look stern, mom was the most gentle person on Earth. He was a meticulous person who took care of Kagami precisely, and understood what he wanted most of the time without even having to ask. Mom was also his own teacher - he was an extremely intelligent omega, had daily study hours with his son where he taught Kagami everything from classic literature to economics and warfares. The important alphas in the compound came to his mom with questions all the time, and uncle Hashirama used to say they could never be half as intelligent as mom was.
(Though grandfather always asked him to teach Kagami to be an independent boy who could take care of himself without relying on others, when the doors were closed it was his loving gestures that taught Kagami the importance of affection and family. Holding him in his arms instead of pushing him away. Reading fairy tales to lure him to sleep every night instead of making him stay up to study. Telling him about peace, instead of winning the war over others.)
.
Kagami’s mother was very protective of him. He forbade Kagami to be out of their house when the sun started to set, and would always wait at the door for him. Everytime the boy came home, the omega would check him from head to toe for scratches or anything wrong with scrutinizing eyes. Kagami never knew why, but after one time when he came home late, he learned his lesson.
Mom had been running around the compound to look for him. Even if mom maintained the usual calm expression, he had never looked so panicked like that before. The moment mom saw him, he came up, gathered the boy into his arms without a word and carried him inside the house.
Once they were indoors, mom let him down and slumped to the front porch. He exhaled heavily, and looked at Kagami with red eyes filled with worries, shadowed by the messy bang of silver hair.
“...don’t ever do that again, okay?” - He said with a shaky voice.
From that day, Kagami never went home late anymore.
~o0o~
Hashirama painfully realized how skinny his brother’s hand was when it held onto his larger one for dear life.
Tobirama had tried to contain his own screams when the contractions started, fearing it would reach their father’s ears. But Hashirama could tell his control had slipped. Pain visibly showed through Tobirama’s clenched teeth and arched silver eyebrows, in the way Tobirama was gripping his hand. Another wave of contraction brought pain racked through his lean body - and Tobirama couldn’t contain anymore - his hoarse scream escaped through the drag.
Hashirama shakily wiped the sweat on his brother’s head and brought the pale, skinny hand to his cheek, whispering comforting and encouraging words to the omega.
“Don’t give up Tobirama! Just a few more push! You can do this otouto, don’t give up!”
If Tobirama was allowed to be a soldier, he would certainly be the fiercest one in his clan. Because by now, the alpha’s brown eyes had already filled with tears of his own, while Tobirama was still keeping himself together through the pain, fighting. He knew his brother was still fighting-
After a few more screams tore out of his throat, red eyes rolled up, and snapped closed. Veins protrude on the overly pale eyelids, and the pale hand’s grip on Hashirama went loose.
“Tobirama! Wake up, Tobirama!! Please-” - Tears rolled down his tan cheeks as he rigorously shook his brother. Brown eyes horrorly moved to the midwife at the other end, demanding an answer - “He passed out, what the hell is happening!?”
But the horror glimpse through the midwife’s face even made it even worse.
“Blood-” - She looked up at him as if begging for forgiveness - “Hashirama-sama, I- Tobirama-sama-... he’s bleeding so much-”
The mattress between his brother’s legs was stained with red like there had been a bloody murder, and his breather went lighter after every second. No, that shouldn’t be a metaphor at all. This was murder, this was torture, this was a crime committed by their father, Tobirama is the victim, and Hashirama the standbyder who did nothing but stared.
He shouldn’t have submitted to Butsuma’s wish. He shouldn’t have let Tobirama bear this child in the first place.
“Tobirama, please!” - The young alpha held his brother’s head and put a hand on his cheek, sobbing. Tobirama’s breath felt so light - “Please wake up- I beg you, please open your eyes- Please…”
His tears were freely cascaded down his brother’s pale cheeks. Hashirama didn’t realize his hands were unintentionally glowing green, seeping chakra in his brother’s body.
“You are my last brother… I’m sorry, Tobirama. I’m sorry.” - His voice crackly whispered - “Anija swears anija will protect you this time. So please open your eyes. Please…”
“Hashirama-sama…” - The midwife gaped - “The bleeding had stopped.”
Then red eyes cracked open, blinked furiously - “Anija…?”
Hashirama wasn’t even done with a moment of happiness when his brother’s face beneath him winced at another contraction hitting. He screamed as he made the last pushes, and slumped down to the bed, pale as a sheet.
Baby’s cries racked the room.
“It’s a boy!” - The midwife exclaimed joyfully as she cut off the birth cord, washed and wrapped the child in a towel. She placed the child into Tobirama’s arms, and red eyes hazily looked at him, trying to register in what was happening.
Suddenly, the door slammed open. Butsuma stepped in and approached Tobirama, looking at the child for a moment then came out without saying a word.
“Keep an eye on Tobirama and the kid. Guard them carefully.” - They heard him tell the guard outside.
.
“Are you going to name him, Tobirama?”
Hashirama asked as he held his nephew in his arms and rocked gently, looking at his now cleaned and exhausted brother lying underneath a heap of blankets as an effort to keep him warm.
Tobirama was silent. He turned his head to the side and looked at the drawers in the corner of his room where laid a mirror on the floor. Staring at the reflection of his own empty eyes in there.
“Kagami.” - His voice was so small that Hashirama almost didn’t catch it. Almost like a breath. Hashirama nodded, though the name sounded a bit strange but he didn’t question it.
“Senju Kagami.” - Seeing his nephew had fallen asleep, he laid the child down and went to sit next to his brother.
Tobirama was still emptily staring at the mirror. Hashirama gathered him into his arms and held him tight, wondering why all of this would happen to his brother.
~o0o
His mom wasn’t afraid of anyone in the clan. Except for one.
His grandfather.
Ever since Kagami came to realization, he had learned to fear grandfather Butsuma. The alpha was the head of the clan and a very, very strict man. Both mom and uncle Hashirama kept distant from that man.
Butsuma was much more fond of his uncle than his mother, he could tell. Always spent a lot of time with uncle, always let uncle sit next to him in a clan meeting and though still seeming strict, could easily forgive all the rebellous things uncle could ever do.
Mother always told him that was because uncle had the responsibility to be the next clan head, so grandfather had to teach him a lot of things. That was because uncle was shouldering too many responsibilities.
And ever since he came to realization, Kagami could tell grandfather liked neither him nor his mother.
The old alpha always ignored him on purpose whether they crossed paths - which was a good thing because if the old man ever stopped ignoring and talked to him, he’d only say mean things to the boy. If he saw a clansman bullying Kagami, he would either turn his back away on purpose, or give him one of his disgusted looks.
Grandfather always looked at him as if he was a crawling insect under his feet, gross and never of his blood.
~o0o~
He didn’t know why, but both him and his mom could always tell who was outside their house. An ability mom made him promise not to tell anyone except for mom and uncle - especially grandfather. Mom had already woken up before him, and held Kagami close to his chest as red eyes looked silently in the dark.
Uncle Hashirama was out for a mission tonight and grandfather was outside their house with other people. Five people, all alphas. They didn’t feel safe when Hashirama wasn't there.
“Mom, what are they doing?” - He whispered to his mom.
“I don’t know.” - He said, and looked down at his son - “Something is happening.”
Up in the far, toward the east, a sense of warmth had lost. Cold, like a fire just went extinguished.
“It feels like a fire just burned out.” - He answered - “Very far in the east.”
Kagami nodded. Tobirama ruffled his son’s hair and hushed him to sleep.
“Go back to sleep, Kagami. We’re having a big day tomorrow.”
“Why big day, mommy?”
“The clan is having a feast.” - He played with the curly blocks of hair on his son’s head.
“To celebrate what, mom?”
“Nothing.” - He answered
“Just another endless cycle.”
And then the next day, the Senju clan celebrated Uchiha Tajima’s death.
~o0o~
Kagami was some sort of a sensor.
He had the ability, but not as good as his mother.
He did inherit it, a proof that they are tied by blood. But it wasn't anywhere as near as his mom. He could sense people approaching him within a few feet, but mom could sense even from outside of the compound.
He promised to keep that ability a secret from grandfather Butsuma.
Tobirama made Kagami hide his abilities in front of Butsuma, afraiding reveal of talent would lead to his son being brought to the battlefield. A useless child that never learned, and that resulted in an even harsher attitude toward Tobirama from Butsuma.
“Useless!” - He struck the omega across the cheek - “This bastard has no use! What a waste, make
something out of it.”
Kagami would cry, and Tobirama’s expression would be indifferent despite the handprint on his face. And kept telling the boy to act useless when he had far exceeded his age.
Butsuma never punished Tobirama in front of Kagami. He always did in the dark, but he made sure the little boy would hear all the screams and lashes. Hashirama would either intervene or take Kagami away when he couldn’t, but usually uncle would be away on a mission.
Kagami wished uncle could be with him the whole time. Uncle would fight back at Butsuma and everyone for their mean things. The boy felt safe being near Hashirama.
~o0o~
The living room’s table was almost always covered in a swamp of Tobirama’s blueprints and scrolls, and Kagami’s books and drawings. They always have some hours in the day where Tobirama would be working on some clan’s projects while Kagami was kept busy with his homeworks or drawings.
They frequently have unexpected guests coming to this tiny house in the corner of the compound. Important alphas seeking for the wisdom of the omega they so badly despised. Or a consultation - like how they like to call it. Fixing their seals, reviewing and almost totally revising a war tactic, doing accounting and checking records of their supplies and merchant routes to call out the ultimate deal. Then they would hush away when it was done, claiming all the works as their own.
(Everyone knows the head of the Senju compound laid in the center, where the most important alphas work to keep their clan prosperous. But little would know there was another less infamous important office in the edge of the compound; the house of a single omega mother and his child.)
Tobirama worked day and night in the shadows. Scrolls and papers filled his tables, shelves and floor, among Kagami’s toys and drawing paper. Sometimes he fell asleep on top of them, in the piles of paper when he didn't have the energy to organize them neatly as he always would anymore.
The seven years old Kagami would be studying from across the table, babbling words he was writing while Tobirama frustratingly threaded his own hands in his short silver hair at every mistake those useless clansmen made.
“Stupid, unrealistic. Why can’t they just make a decent plan that works for once!?” - He mumbled frustratingly under his breath, circling the calculations in their budget that didn’t make sense and recalculating them on his soroban.
“Mommy, what does “honor” mean?”
“Honor is when you-“ - He said, and wrote down his calculations to focus on the numbers.
Suddenly the omega blinked as he sensed someone on the way to their house. Senju Takeshi, the one in charge of supplies.
“Hold on. Takeshi is here.”
“Takeshi?”
Kagami didn’t like Takeshi. He talked mean to mom, and ignored him all the time.
“Yeah, he’s here.” - Tobirama exhaled and stood up, legs slightly wobbling from sitting too long as he headed to the hall, mumbling mockingly - “He must have messed up his plans again. That’s why he came here.”
To recover others’ faith in him.
The omega opened the door to reveal a stern-looking man in his late thirties carrying a stack of notebooks.
“Tobirama-sama.” - He said unemotionally, showing the stack to Tobirama and the omega stood to the side to let the alpha in.
( The honorific was only for formality since Tobirama was the son of the clan's head; little respect was held in that word .)
The alpha, as he always came here so frequently, had gotten so used to the house that he followed Tobirama straight to the living room, sat down while Kagami eyed him warily. Nonetheless, the omega sat in between them to put a barrier between his child and the alpha, and immediately Kagami snuggled close to his mother.
The man put the stack of notebooks on the table and shoved it into Tobirama’s way.
“I couldn’t identify what went wrong.”
“That led to us retreating and losing seven men in the last war?” - The omega winced.
“What could an omega like you know? Those wicked eyed bastards-....”
“Watch your language in front of my son.” - Tobirama snarled, glaring at the alpha.
The man huffed and glared at the child, which made the silver-haired heir leaned up and shielded Kagami from him.
“Go back to the plan. We don’t have all the time in the world.”
“Definitely not for my case. But it would for yours.”
Tobirama didn’t respond.
After they were done, Takeshi gathered the stacks in his hands and walked out. Before closing the door, he eyed Kagami for a moment and mumbled under his breath.
“Wicked-eye bastard.”
And as a result, Tobirama punched him.
~o0o~
Tobirama cradled the baby in his arms, humming the familiar lullaby. Kagami had long fallen asleep. He threaded his fingers in those curly locks as the baby leaned into him.
Nobody can call him by that clan’s blood. The child was his, his only.
It seemed like his son inherited his sensor ability from him, Tobirama thought one day when all the dots were finally connected.
He would feel uneasy whenever strangers approached him that were neither his mother or his uncle, especially Butsuma. Whenever he felt Butsuma around, his son would cry.
Good. At least it knew who to avoid.
Tobirama was born a sensor, but he never got to put his skills into battle due to his omega status. There were many omegas around the clan who were born with talents, but never were they allowed to use it because the Senju clan banned omegas from becoming shinobis. The clan would have had a huge advantage against the Uchiha if those old alphas weren’t so stubborn.
Lack of training gave Tobirama a chaotic maintenance of his range - and even if he sensed people coming to him, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself. That was the regret that had haunted him for a large part of his life, and would continue to do so.
Kagami was some sort of a sensor now, but his sensing ability wasn’t anywhere near Tobirama and the omega doubted it would improve over time, as he held the tiny child in his arms. He couldn’t help but wonder if this child would grow up being sensible like him. Feeling pain deeper, feeling scared all the time. Feeling his brothers and family dying. Feeling people coming, and feeling helpless. Just like him.
It was very prominent to any stranger that Kagami didn’t resemble him much. The little boy had dark curly hair that was so much distinct from his own, and those typical dark eyes of that clan. One could easily pass them for not being mother and son - Tobirama looked like a stranger to Kagami. He also didn’t resemble anyone in the Senju main house either. His dark curly hair was so different from the brownish dark hair of Hashirama and Butsuma, and certainly not his other brothers. This made Butsuma keep distance from the child considering how he looked so much like his lifelong enemies.
Tobirama was like an embodiment of snow. Snow white hair, pale skin and blood red eyes were the reason for his infamous nickname in the clan as the Ghost. They would see him walking through the clan, always wearing white kimono with occasionally some light blue added to it. And always in his arms would be a child, hair and eyes dark as the night, whispers followed them behind.
Such contrast. The people in the Senju compound told each other. The ghost and his demonic child.
~o0o~
Kagami sat on the engawa restlessly as he listened to the large voice of grandfather Butsuma coming from inside the main house. The yellings had been going on for an hour and since uncle Hashirama wasn’t home now, it made the little boy scared and he hugged his small frame tightly to his knees.
Then the door slid open. Kagami’s eyes sparked up when he saw his mom stepping out.
“Don’t ever dishonor me like that again!” - Butsuma’s voice coldly spoke from inside.
“Yes, father.” - The young omega bowed deeply, and stepped out. He kneeled down to the child running to him and picking him up, holding him in his arms.
“I told you not to come here, why didn’t you listen to me?” - He asked with a serious expression.
“I- I’m sorry… I was scware…”
Tears gathered in the boy’s eyes, and the omega's heart ached at that. At last, the child was only worried for him. Anxieties were not good for children - he had learned that since childhood.
“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have let you get worried like that.” - He whispered softly and kissed the top of the child’s head as he walked out.
“Mommy, is your cheek alright?”
Tobirama frozen and put a hand on his cheek. It must be so visible for Kagami to see it then. The red handprint that marred his pale skin.
“It's alright. Let’s head home for dinner, it’s already late.”
(Mom was his strongest protector, no matter what. The strongest, mightiest one. Kagami thought, as he followed.)
~o0o~
Izuna was woken up from Kagami crying in his sleep. The boy was sobbing quietly, gripping the blanket as he softly mumbled.
“Mom…”
Izuna’s heart ached at that - this poor child shouldn't suffer like this, born outside the clan and lost his mother at such a young age. Pray the Uchiha clan would be able to heal the scar in his heart, or at least sooth it.