Chapter Text
It’s been a few days since their return from Mexico and Derek was still reeling from his experience of almost dying and transforming into a full wolf for the first time. Something he'd never expected to be able to do. It was a rare gift among werewolves, usually reserved for alphas only, even though the ability had been running in his family for generations. Both his mother and his sister had been blessed with it.
He'd been testing his new ability that still felt raw and peculiar, but also very right. For the first time in a long while, since talking to his dead mother and learning about his families’ true legacy as the town’s protectors, Derek felt at peace with himself. Like he'd finally discovered what he was supposed to be all along and found his place again after missing it for so long ever since losing his family.
And with no bounty on his head, crazy ex-girlfriends haunting him and his psychotic uncle locked away, he felt like the world was full of possibilities for once, maybe even a chance for a happy life.
The first thing he noticed was the sound of clicking footsteps on the stairs outside of his loft, followed by the rapid beat of a fluttering heart and a familiar feminine scent saturating the air. It was enough to recognize the visitor on the other side of the steel door as Lydia Martin thanks to his regained wolf senses. He didn’t expect visitors, least of all Lydia, and was curious – and a little wary - to find out what brought her to his place.
Derek waited to open the door until she knocked so he wouldn’t startle her. Lydia’s big eyes snapped up to his face as she greeted him with an uncertain smile.
It was a surprise whenever she showed up at his place, though he should have been used to it by now. And truthfully speaking, she was never an unpleasant sight. Not even half drenched and screaming right in his face at the top of her lungs. Soft and curvy. Like an angel carved from one of Botticelli’s finest paintings.
Derek noticed her carrying a small plant in her hands. Probably a science project for school. To his relief it was no wolfsbane. Lydia and wolfsbane were no good combination. He’d learned that the hard way and wasn’t keen on repeating the experience.
"Lydia.” He greeted her with a nod and slight distrust in his voice. "Don't tell me you're here to foretell my death again."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "Funny. Can't I just check up on a friend out of decency?” She slapped his arm playful and swept past him into the loft without waiting for an invitation. Friend. The word bounced around his head in strange way. He’d never considered them as friends, not exactly as they had never spend a lot of time together before. They only seemed to cross each other’s path when things got dangerous … he didn’t know what to think of this.
As usual she wore a nice dress that swayed around her hips with every step, along with a fancy bag hanging from her shoulder. Derek always tried his best to overlook her exceptional beauty because of her age, but it was almost impossible not to get drawn into her presence. It was fascinating how a small person like Lydia could walk into a place and own it immediately, becoming the undivided center of attention like a gravitating pull.
"That would be a first,” Derek muttered to himself, too low for the girl to catch it. He didn’t bother to close the door as he didn’t expect Lydia to stay long and followed her back inside the loft.
The short redhead looked around. Her eyes settled on the half-fixed window previously broken by Kate Argent and one of her Berserkers. "Redecorating?"
Derek shrugged. "Almost every piece of furniture’s been broken before."
"Then you should consider moving," she suggested, “if this place is not save enough. Or at least get a proper lock. Not that it would help keeping out psycho ex-girlfriends.” Lydia turned around to face him as she stood in front of the big window with the sunlight illuminating her silhouette and making her red curls shimmer like molten bronze … Derek had to blink several times to clear his head of the image. As said, it was hard not to notice her beauty and get distracted. Especially when her scent penetrated the air like a spring meadow in full bloom. Or was that the plant she was carrying?
It would have been polite to offer her a seat, but the last time she’d chosen to sit on his bed and he hadn’t been able to get her scent out of the covers for days. Part of the reason he hadn’t been able to sleep much before their recent trip to Mexico. Standing was safer.
Lydia’s eyes ran over his body, giving him a quick once-over. “You look good,” she complimented him with a smile which made him raise his eyebrows in surprise. She wasn’t flirting with him, was she? If she was, it was even more reason to be suspicious of her visit. She flushed as she averted her eyes and cleared her throat. “I mean you look … not dead and that is good,” she explained, then quickly changed the subject. “And the boys told me about your new power to turn into a wolf. That’s impressive.” She stepped closer, titled her head to the side and squinted her eyes as she studied his face more intensively. As if she tried to detect any signs of his new ability etched into his human features. “Have you become more hairy?”
Derek chuckled while he rubbed his short beard by instinct. He didn’t think he was more hairy, he just didn’t shave as often as he used to do. But her comment made him wonder if he did change in more ways than he was aware of. If his mind had changed along with his body evolving. If he had some change of heart…
He noted to think about this later while he turned his focus back on the girl in front of him. “You know, this was the second time you predicted my death and turned out wrong,” he pointed out.
“It’s not too far off given your history of bad luck and getting yourself in deadly trouble,” Lydia teased, before her face turned into a serious frown. The smile faded from her lips so fast that it made Derek almost regret his careless comment. He didn’t blame her and didn’t want to make her feel bad about her predictions. It already seemed hard enough for her. Ever since she shared her grandmother’s tragic story with them, he’d realized just how much the girl struggled with her fate as a Banshee.
“I’m sorry about that,” she said with clear sincerity in her voice. “I’m glad I was wrong. And I’m glad my predictions about death aren’t inevitably. Makes me hopeful and … I really needed that after everything that’s been happening the last couple of months.”
Derek nodded in understanding. She was still grieving for her dead friends - the ones she couldn’t save and had to bury at such young age. A shot of warmth spread through his chest. Too often he’d been the reason for other peoples’ misery instead of having a positive effect on their lives like Scott always seemed to have - which Derek admired a lot in the young alpha. It was a nice feeling for a change that he wanted to savor as long as possible.
Lydia chewed on her bottom lip and looked around a little awkward like she was looking for something. “And I bet your girlfriend is happy about this either.” Derek frowned in confusion. Lydia rolled her eyes as she noticed his clueless expression. “GIRLFRIEND,” she repeated slowly like he was as stupid as he felt right now. “Italian boots and big guns?”
Derek blinked in sudden realization. “Oh, you mean Braeden.” For some reason he’d never thought of the mercenary as his girlfriend. Probably because he’d never considered their involvement as an actual relationship either.
“I just thought you two were…“ She fidgeted wildly with her hand in search of the right words, but failed to find them. “You know…”
“She left.” That’s all Derek wanted to say, but Lydia’s expression said clearly she demanded a more detailed explanation. And there was a part of him that wanted to set things straight with her basically being the only one, apart from Peter, who knew for sure that he’d been involved with Braeden since she’d practically walked in on them. That’s why he didn’t like the thought of leaving her with the wrong the impression of how thing had turned out, even though it wasn’t any of her business.
His neck started to heat up and he rubbed it stiffly. “It just didn’t work out, okay? It was never really serious, more like …”
“A band-aid?” Lydia suggested and Derek looked up in surprise when she spoke the exact word that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. “To an open wound?” She offered a caring smile, echoing the words he’d once heard in a conversation with Scott.
He swallowed hard and nodded. He was astonished by her spot-on observation. That’s exactly what it had been, hadn’t it? Kate, Jennifer … they had both cut him open, left him bleeding and scarred all over his heart. And as usual he had sought comfort with the next best thing, someone he barely knew.
Derek knew it was unfair to assume his attraction to the mercenary had been nothing but a result of him turning human, like she was just a rebound girl, but that’s how it felt now. With his world shifting and his powers slipping, it had been a good enough reason to be with someone who could distract him from counting down the days to his inevitable death. He never truly expected to survive – how often could a Banshee predict your death before it really happened? But now that he was still alive and a werewolf again, he had felt stuck for the wrong reasons – which Braeden noticed and made her leave. And Derek discovered in her absence that he just didn’t miss her the way he should if he’d been in love with her in the first place.
“I understand,” Lydia said softly, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts, and maybe she did because she been there with Jackson and Aiden as well. “So…” She stretched the word while chewing on the inside of her cheek and swaying a little on her heels. “Does that mean I can stop pretending to like her? Because I never did. Those boots were so obsolete! Also I demand a say in the choice of your next girlfriend!”
“What?” He almost sputtered in bewilderment. “Why should you get a say in my love life?”
She shrugged and smiled sweetly while flickering her long hair over her shoulder. “Statistic, sweetheart! Two out of three of your ex-girlfriends tried to kill me. It’s only fair that I’ll get a say in who gets to try next.” She said this so full of conviction that Derek couldn’t even find the words to argue. It just made him chuckle and shake his head with something that almost felt like admiration for this peculiar girl.
Silence settled between them for a moment. Derek wasn’t used to being alone with Lydia and it irritated him. He crossed his arms over his chest to hide his tension. “Since you obviously haven’t come here to predict my death or give me dating advice, are you going to tell me now why you’re really here?”
“Well, for one thing, I bought you this.” The redhead presented the plant she was carrying. Some kind of fancy fern. “See it as a re-birthday gift.” She placed it on the table beside her and involuntary her gaze landed on the pile of books lying on the table, bound in old leather that showed their high age. Bevor he could react, she had picked up the first book and read the title in amusement. “Pride and Prejudice? I didn’t pick you for a Jane Austin fan.”
Derek felt his neck flush with heat again and he cleared his throat. Fully aware that Lydia was stalling, but it felt like bubbles were bursting in his chest with the need to explain and the words just tumbled out of his mouth. “Well, it belonged to my mother. Her favorite. It was a lucky coincidence she left it at the vault the night of the fire. Otherwise it would have been lost as well.” He stepped towards Lydia and carefully took the book from her hands. His fingers brushed hers in the progress. The touch sent a jolt up his spine and made Lydia gasp. He tried to ignore her reaction and flipped through the pages of the book, stopping by the old family picture he used as a bookmark, basically the only picture he had left. “She must have read it a million times and liked to recite her favorite parts. I personally prefer Dickens or London, but when I read this book, it’s easier to remember her voice. The way she laughed.”
He hadn’t mend to get carried away in front of the girl so much. Normally he was better at hiding his emotions, but Lydia’s big eyes were hard to resist and not pour your heart out. He looked down at the picture which showed himself as a boy surrounded by his mother and sisters. A relict of the time before everything - before the fire, before Paige. When he used to be nothing but a carefree kid. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Derek sighed, a wistful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Even if all obstacles were in his favor from now on, would he ever be able to become this boy again? Was there something like a happy end waiting for someone broken like him?
“The little mermaid.” Lydia’s soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Her eyes were filled with nothing but understanding as she looked up at his face. “My grandmother used to read it to me when I was a child and she always called me Ariel … when I read it, it’s like she’s still here with me…” Derek’s chest tightened at hearing the comprehension in her voice, the openness in her words. They’d never shared such an intimate conversation with the exception when he’d kept his promise to Aidan and told Lydia the werewolf had been a good person in the end.
He cleared his throat a little awkwardly and tried to remember what they had been talking about before while he put the picture back inside the book and dropped it on the table beside the plant... Right, she brought him a plant – she’d never brought him anything before with the exception of a headache – she wouldn’t bother unless…
“You want something.” Lydia gasped offended and turned away from him, but Derek could tell it was nothing but pretense from the way her heartbeat sped up. “Just spit it out, Lydia.”
Her shoulders set and she turned back to him smiling more brightly than before which made all of his warning bells ring like crazy. “It’s just a small favor. I need access to your family’s vault. I’ve promised Deputy Parrish to help him figure out what he is. I know you said this is out of your experience, but I’ve sort of come to a dead end in my research. And your family has been around here a long time. Maybe there are some useful information at the vault that you just haven’t connected to-”
Derek held up a hand to silence her. “Wait. You promised him?” Lydia nodded.
There was something about the prospect of Lydia digging around the vault that alarmed him. Not because he didn’t trust her. And he doubted the vault held any valuable information on the matter anyway. His family had always been more invested in shape-shifters, that’s why he knew about Kanimas or Wendigos. But other supernatural creatures like Berserkers he only knew due to his personal fondness of mythology. That’s why he’d thought Banshees didn’t exist until he met Lydia.
No, that wasn’t the reason. He was more worried Lydia could actually end up successful in her own search and get herself in trouble she would try to handle on her own. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“But Jordan deserves to know-“
“Jordan?” Derek repeated taken aback with growing annoyance in his voice. He didn’t know why it bothered him that she used the Deputy’s first name, it just did. “You call him that?”
“It’s his name.”
“I just didn’t realize you two were … friends. Aren’t you a little too young to-”
“To what?” Lydia interrupted him with her hands placed on her hips, clearly losing her patience. “Call him by his name? Help him? Why is that such a big deal? You’re not making any sense. And for the record, I’ve turned 18 weeks ago. Thank you for remembering and sending me flowers.” Her voice was thick with sarcasm.
“I try to stay away from your birthdays considering what happened last time,” he almost growled, agitated by her emotions running high and his own response to them. He felt the short hair on the back of his neck rise and his muscles tensed.
“Not this again! I thought we were finally past the ‘you resurrected my psychotic uncle and I will loath you for that for the rest of my life’ nonsense! You’re still not getting what happened that night was beyond my control? If I could unmake it, don’t you think I would? Now more than ever. But since we’re talking of past mistakes, remember the night you wanted to kill me?!”
Derek flinched. How could he forget all the mistakes he made while being an alpha, making him realize with painful clarity that he shouldn’t have become one in the first place. He shouldn’t have turned Jackson, Erica or Boyd. He shouldn’t have brought them into his war just to proof his worthiness of his family’s legacy. And he certainly shouldn’t have tried to go after an innocent girl, even if it had seem the only way back then to stop the bigger evil. He had tried so hard to do the right thing and solve the mess he’d felt responsible for that he’d forgotten the end did not justify every mean.
Lydia looked apologetic as if she regretted lashing out at him. It wasn’t her fault. Derek knew he was acting ridiculous, but for some reason it didn’t feel right to let her get involved with the deputy whom they barely knew anything about. Parrish seemed like a nice guy, he’d helped them – too nice maybe. Too perfect. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t help but be suspicious of the man, even more since finding out he was supernatural.
Derek sighed. “It could be dangerous. Jordan could be dangerous!”
“He seems harmless.”
Derek snorted unimpressed. “So did Jennifer.”
“And Meredith,” Lydia added with a deep sigh. “I guess you have a point. It’s the things you don’t see coming that usually get you killed, but isn’t that more reason to figure out what he is? So that we’re prepared?” Lydia’s argument made a lot of sense of course – if Parrish was a dangerous supernatural creature, the sooner they knew the better. That didn’t make the idea of Lydia snooping around the Deputy any more appealing though.
Derek uncrossed his arms and clenched his fists, sensing there was more that Lydia wasn’t telling him. The real reason behind her desire to help the deputy. “If you want to impress him-”
“That’s not what this is about and I won’t bail out on my promise just because you’re acting like a jerk!” she cut him off furiously, the anger in her voice making her eyes spark. “Coming here was me being polite! I could have asked Malia instead. Technically it’s her family’s vault, too. And she wouldn’t act so difficult! If you want no part in this, that’s fine, but I keep my promises!”
She started to head for the door. When she passed him, Derek’s hand instinctively shot out to grab her arm and stop her from leaving. “I didn’t say that.” His jaw tightened. “But I want to know why this is so important to you.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes.
“Try me.”
There was a heavy pause while Lydia collected her thoughts. Her eyes wandered across the loft but didn’t settle on anything in particular. Standing so close, Derek noticed how tired she looked and he wondered again if he should offer her a seat. Or a shoulder to lean on…
He immediately pushed that thought away. No, better not let her get too close. Ever since their encounter the night at the abandoned depot he’d realized how easily the girl managed to get under his skin and he’d done his best to not let it happen again.
“It’s not really … about him, it’s about me,” Lydia started to explain. “After Peter attacked me … I didn’t have anyone to talk to. No one gave me the answers I needed. For months I didn’t know what was happening to me, if I was losing my mind and there’s still so much I don’t understand about my abilities. I know Scott, Stiles, Allison and even you - you all wanted to protect me by keeping me in the dark for so long, but the uncertainty of not knowing anything was so much worse than the truth.”
Derek felt a lump build in his throat. Of course they had tried to keep her out of all the craziness and when he’d learned about her immunity to Peter's bite, he'd thought it would be her second chance of a normal life. Even more reason he had to keep his distance from her with him being a walking danger magnet. He should have known it never worked like that with girls like Lydia. She was too smart - smart like Paige - to not figure things out even on her own and get involved. All the while they missed to notice what their secrecy had done to her until it was too late.
“You don’t really understand this because you’re a born werewolf,” Lydia continued as she turned her face to look at him. “You have always known what you are. And you had people being there for you and explain what’s happening to you. You don’t know what it’s like to have your world turned upside down with no one being there. What it’s like to not know what you are, only that you are not human. I want to help Jordan because I’ve been there myself and I know what he must be going through right now, okay?”
Derek stared at her.
She was wrong. As strange as it seemed, he understood her reason perfectly. The last couple of weeks, ever since his brief renaissance as a teenager, he hadn’t felt like himself. He had felt his powers drain from his body and turn human, something he’d never experienced before. It was similar to what Lydia had been going through with the only difference that her powers had been growing. But the uncertainty of not knowing what was happening and how it would all end had been the same and it had scared Derek more than he liked to admit.
That’s why he understood why Lydia insisted on helping the deputy. Didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. But he guessed if he couldn’t talk her out of her quest – and judging from the look of determination on her face he wouldn’t be able to - at least he could make sure she would be safe.
“Alright. I have nothing else to do anyway. I’ll drive.”
Lydia looked a little surprised by his offer, but quickly regained her composure. “Thank you. Jordan will be-“
He cut her off immediately, “I’m not doing this for Parrish.”
He stopped there, even though there was more sitting on the tip of his tongue he wanted to say. The desire to explain to her why his urge to help her felt so prominent now. He could have told her that his last thoughts before ‘dying’ had basically been about her. Or that his heart had stopped for a moment when he’d found her drenched on his doorstep. Or that he remembered the feel of her touch and warmth of her fingers when she had held his hand at the vet station despite having been half-unconscious.
He understood her and he owed her and wanted to make sure she was alright. That was all.
But he didn’t tell her any of that.
Lydia smirked. “Well, I guess you can let go of me then.”
Derek realized a little embarrassed he was still holding her arm, the touch feeling far too intimate and unforeseeable comfortable for such an innocent gesture. Immediately he dropped his hand and stepped back to get his jacket and car keys.
He didn’t look at Lydia as he followed her outside.