Chapter Text
The sun shines through the rice paper blinds of the Jingshi and illuminates the features of a handsome young man. He is comfortable and relaxed, enjoying the softness of the bed he is lying on.
The jet black hair spread out on a silky white pillow contrasts with milky white skin and light grey eyes. A soft smile adorns the young man's face as he enjoys the calmness and serenity of the room.
The slim yet toned individual is Wei Wuxian, and today is his birthday! It has been two years since his resurrection, and life's been pretty good. He eloped with Lan Zhan, the love of his life; A-Yuan is alive and well; Wen Ning is out enjoying the world as he deserves; and he basically adopted a rag-tag group of juniors, including his nephew, who doesn't hate him anymore!
So in actuality, life's been more than pretty good. It's been really good.
He had woken up to an empty bed, but it's most likely because his perfect husband was called to take care of some important sect leader business. Knowing that fuddy-duddy, he's probably berating himself for not being able to wake up the necromancer with kisses. Wuxian, however, feels bad for whoever summoned Lan Zhan because not only did the great Hanguang-Jun purposely clear his schedule for the day, but he also gets cranky when he doesn't get to spoil his Airen*. When he's grumpy, he makes sure those at fault for it are highly aware of their wrongdoings. For someone who is considered one of the most venerated cultivators in all the sects, he sure can be a big baby at times.
But er-gege doesn't need to worry! Unlike last year, Wuxian swore to himself that this birthday wouldn't be a downer. He had spent his previous birthday suffocating in self-loathing and depressing thoughts that he tried to hide behind tight smiles and jars of wine. It hadn't fooled anyone except maybe the juniors, but even then, A-Yuan can be much too attentive for Wuxian's liking.
He truly is a Lan.
And that thought couldn't make Wei Ying prouder. He's beyond grateful and happy that his sweet little radish was able to grow up big and strong in an environment where he was safe and sound.
He indeed owes Lan Zhan the world.
With a loud yawn and a satisfying stretch, Wei Wuxian gets up to start the day.
Step 1 of Have A Happy Birthday: Go enjoy the town!
The plan for the day was to spend the morning with Lan Zhan, the afternoon with Jingyi and Sizhui, and then go for a night hunt with all four juniors after a romantic dinner with his husband. He had specified that he didn't want any presents this year, that spending time with his loved ones was present enough (even if the one he most wanted to see still had trouble being in the same room as him).
He woke up earlier than usual, meaning that although he might not have all morning with his baobei, he'll probably still have half of it.
After making the bed, he gets dressed and sees that his oh-so-caring Wangji had breakfast ready for him at the table, heating talismans covering the plates to keep the food warm (an invention made by yours truly). So he digs into his favourite morning dishes, grabs a pouch of money which he probably won't use, his dizi, and goes to hit the town.
His husband has made him promise to always have a pouch of money on him, alongside one that contains whatever he would need during emergencies. The emergency Qiankun Pouch wasn't something he fought against, it was a brilliant idea, one he wished he had implemented in his past life, but the money pouch was a different matter. He hadn't worked for the money, and even though the Lan Sect is one of the wealthiest clans of the cultivation world, he's always been stingy when it comes to spending anything on himself that isn't necessary. Furthermore, Lan Zhan and his sect have already done so much for him; to take their money after not doing anything to earn it didn't (and still doesn't) sit right with him. But he's never been able to say no to the mighty Hanguang-Jun's puppy eyes (as he said before, the Bearer of Light is such a baby), so he let Lan Zhan win that argument.
When getting dressed, he didn't wear his usual set of robes; instead, he decided to wear his "commoner robes" to blend in and remain unnoticed when browsing through Caiyi Town. He wants to enjoy himself without being recognized as the infamous Yiling Patriarch or the husband of Hanguang-Jun. He is in no way ashamed of his marriage to the youngest Twin Jade of Lan. It's the opposite. If anything, he worries that he has further damaged Lan Zhan's reputation, but as always, he decided to be selfish and marry him anyway. Lan Zhan had also wanted it, though! Wuxian had made triple sure of it! All he's ever wanted was to make those he cares for happy, and if marrying A-Zhan made the white-clad cultivator happy, then who was Wei Wuxian to obstruct him from that (again)?
He thanks a young lady for a free sample of her homemade red bean buns and decides to buy some Tanghulu for everyone to have before the night hunt later. As he approaches another stall, he hears someone say his name. Confused, he turns around to see who it is that recognized him regardless of his disguise.
In actuality, no one has called out to him; instead, they are talking about him. A group of three men are surrounded by a crowd of people, recounting some made-up story of when they faced Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch, the one and only Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.
"His eyes were crimson red, and his voice could freeze rivers!" States a black-bearded; middle-aged man. Wuxian can tell that he is a storyteller, and a good one at that, through the way he captivates the audience and retains their attention through the seamless transitioning of his voice and his hand gestures. He is confident and in his element. Despite the fact that everything he is saying is complete bullshit.
Wuxian may have a terrible memory, but from the sounds of it, the three men (he has named them beardy, bushy, and baldy) are declaring that they fought him after he came back from the dead (the second time). Since all that happened at the Guanyin Temple, he hasn't had many confrontational brawls with any cultivators, other than that one time someone tried to assassinate him, but that definitely wasn't any of the storytellers. He would know since he was the one that got rid of the hitman without any witnesses around. Not even Lan Zhan knows about it, but Wuxian hadn't deemed it essential information to be known since it was just as he said: an attempt. The person failed, so he hadn't needed to worry his husband over such trivial things.
"He was just as everyone says! Fierce and deadly, with a smile so sharp and a laugh so chilling that beasts and ghosts alike can do nothing but bow down to him!" Continues bushy, an older man with very bushy eyebrows.
Beardy nods his head with conviction while baldy (his name implies his appearance) proceeds where his companion left off.
"We didn't think we stood a single chance against him. But, I mean, think about it! Who, other than the bravest and strongest of cultivators, have ever lived after a fight with a demon such as him?"
Wuxian raises a skeptical eyebrow while the enthralled crowd hums and nods in agreement.
"So, how did you survive?" Someone asks.
The raconteurs take a second to lock eyes conspiratorially and then look around as if to make sure no one else listens in on what they're about to divulge to the evergrowing crowd. This is ridiculous and dramatic on levels that even Wuxian wouldn't stoop down to. But, despite himself, he wants to hear what nonsense they have made up. Such antics induce the crowd to move closer; anticipation riddles the air as they metaphorically and literally are at the edge of their seats due to the established suspense.
Baldy places his left hand near the right side of his mouth as if to tell a secret. "The evil Yiling Patriarch has a weakness!"
Wuxian freezes as the audience gasps and draws even closer to the speakers. Wei Wuxian desperately hopes that they haven't figured out his fear of dogs. If they did, this new chance at life that he has been given would end up being so much shorter than his previous ones.
"His husband! The great Hanguang-Jun!"
Everyone is now confused, including Wei Wuxian who has his head tilted to the side. There is no way these idiots will claim that they also fought against Lan Zhan or fought with Lan Zhan against the Yiling Patriarch.
Seeing the bewilderment, beardy takes over. "The Yiling Patriarch may have supposedly been cleared of his crimes, but us common folk have not received any proof! He has been playing nice because he doesn't wish to be condemned to death again."
"And so whenever his husband appears, he reverts to his fake good-naturedness," explains baldy.
"We only survived because the righteous and pure sect leader of the Lan clan came to our rescue!" Finishes bushy.
The crowd seems to find this explanation acceptable and starts heatedly conversing.
"I still believe that the Grandmaster of demonic cultivation bewitched Hanguang-Jun! There is no way that such an honourable man would allow the demon Wei Wuxian to marry him!"
"I agree! I agree! To think that after everything that monster did, he would still be welcomed with open arms into the home of the most noble-minded cultivators in all of the cultivation world. It's preposterous!"
"I heard that they weren't allowed to get married."
"It's true! The Lan elders fought against it, but the Yiling Patriarch threatened them into submission!"
"Even to this day, we have no way of putting down such a dog!? How dare he be allowed to walk amongst us, to breath our same air!"
"The air of our children!"
The crowd, now turned mob continues their rantings while the storytellers collect money from pleased listeners.
"You three are so brave to have stood up against him!"
"You flatter us," voices beardy in a humble manner.
"We were just lucky that Hanguang-Jun was able to keep a miscreant like Wei Wuxian on such a tight leash," adds baldy.
"Did you all know that today is his birthday?" Questions bushy.
"But of course!" responds an elderly woman in disdain. "It has been considered an ominous day since his death!"
"Now that he has returned, there is no doubt that he will decide to exact his revenge on the cultivation world for killing him in his last life!" Announces someone else.
"Are you sure? Last year nothing happened."
"Pshh! That's most likely because he was busy trying to strengthen his control over those at Cloud Recesses."
"But they showed him! Some say that they carved an additional rule into the Wall of Discipline especially for him!"
"Yes! That was thanks to the great Lan Qiren. Such an upright man! "Stay Away From Wei Wuxian" is what's carved into it."
"But wasn't it taken off?"
"Oh, I hope not! Think of those poor young disciples! They wouldn't know any better!"
"Either way, he stayed away from Caiyi last year, and it seems as if he hasn't dared to come again this year."
"Good. Wei Wuxian is a scum that should know his place! Even us common folk deserve more respect than him."
More frustrations and insults are shared before the crowd disperses.
Wuxian froze in place the moment the first comment was made after the raconteurs' tale ended. His face is now carefully blank as he makes his way out of town.
This is...This is fine. Step 1 of Have A Happy Birthday might've been a flop, but he won't give up. He...He swore to himself. And Lan Zhan didn't marry a quitter.
No. Apparently, he married a dog instead.
A demon.
A monster.
A—
He shakes his head as if that could shake away the negative thoughts plaguing his mind.
He takes a deep breath as he begins to climb the stone staircase leading to the entrance of Cloud Recesses. Half the morning has already gone by, so perhaps Lan Zhan is finished with whatever responsibilities he had to take care of. He really really hopes so. His husband always makes him feel better (even when he doesn't deserve it).
Okay, okay. Step 2 of Have A Happy Birthday: Spend time with your perfect Lan-er-gege.
Making it to the top of the staircase, he heads towards Lan Zhan's office, planning on peeking inside the room to see whether or not the older man is busy. Unfortunately, on his way there, he runs into Lan Qiren. Hoping that maybe if he keeps his head down, the elder won't see him or might instead decide not to waste his time speaking to him. It's usually the latter, but today it seems that his luck is nonexistent, which doesn't really surprise him anymore, seeing as this has been his normal since his parent's death.
Teacher Lan greets him coldly. As per usual.
"Wei Wuxian."
He receives no bow but respectfully gives one nonetheless. After everything he has done to the older man's family, he deserves nothing but hate and contempt from him.
"Lan-Xiansheng*."
"Where were you?"
He straightens his posture but keeps his eyes trained to the ground. He wasn't expecting such a question; usually, Lan Qiren has no care for where he is or what he does. As long as Wuxian doesn't bother him or others during classes, it matters not to the bearded man.
"I had decided to spend my morning in Caiyi Town."
"Of course you did," scoffs the Lan.
"Was there something you needed, Shifu*?"
"Yes."
In his peripheral vision, Wuxian can see that Lan Qiren is stroking his beard. This means one of two things. Either he's lost in thought, or he is about to tell Wuxian to do something that the younger one better accomplish to a T.
"I know that today is your day of birth, but I ask that you not be selfish for once and leave my youngest nephew alone for the day."
Wuxian tightens his jaw but makes sure that the rest of his body stays in a relaxed yet upstanding posture.
"He might be your...Husband. But first and foremost, he is a sect leader, a nephew, and a brother. So you cannot possibly expect him to cater to you at all times. If anything, you should be the one catering to him."
Wuxian doesn't miss the way the other practically spits out the word "husband" as if it pains him to utter it. He's also not ignorant to the subtle way that Lan Qiren is referring to him as a servant.
"I suggest you find a way to entertain yourself that doesn't include Wangji. Is that understood?"
He nods his head stiffly, not trusting his voice to remain as steady as his physical appearance.
"Also, I presume that you did not disgrace my sect during your frolic in town. Am I correct in my assumption?"
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The crackling of electricity. The smell of burnt flesh. Heavy breathing from two very different individuals: one in pain and the other enraged.
"You had better not disgrace this sect Wei Wuxian! Fengmian may have brought you into my home, but you are no son of mine."
Crack!
Grunt. (Please.)
Crack!
Grunt. (Please.)
"Y-yes, Madame Yu."
Crack!
Grunt. (Stop.)
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"Yes, Shifu."
"Hm. You may go."
He bows. "Thank you, Shifu."
They head in different directions.
Wuxian will not let what was said bother him.
He has been put in his place many times throughout both lifetimes. It should no longer hurt. If anything, he should expect it. He's used to it.
Yes... He's used to it.
This is fine. He will just skip step 2 and go right to the next one.
Step 3 of Have A Happy Birthday: Don't bother Lan Zhan, instead-
You know what? Maybe he should change the name to something more realistic. Impractical expectations lead to constant disappointment.
Step 3 of Have A Decent Birthday: Don't bother Lan Zhan, instead hang out with your favourite Mini Lan's!
Morning classes should be over by now; perhaps he can spend time with Sizhui and Jingyi until lunchtime? Surely they'll be able to bring his mood back up to how it was this morning (before reality decided to rear its ugly head)!
As he expected, the Lanshi* is empty. So he decides to ask the next Lan disciple he sees if they've seen where his son and best friend have gone.
Once again, his good fortune is nowhere to be seen. And so, the person he ends up asking is one of the Lan elders.
Every single one of them despises him. The reason? Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen discussed amongst themselves and believed that the elders held too much power for a group of closed-minded people. It was even discovered that a few of them had been friends with Su She, going as far as to aid him in recruiting more disciples from the Lan sect to join Su Minshan after Wei Wuxian's death.
Although it was the Twin Jade of Lan's' decision, all elders blamed Wei Wuxian for their loss of power. At that point, Wuxian had been too tired to stand up for himself. Lan Zhan would probably do it for him if he asked. As sect leader, he'd only have to do it once, and everyone would most likely leave Wuxian alone. But he doesn't need to add more to his Zhang fu*'s already full plate.
He can't remember which particular elder this is. As a matter of fact, Wuxian doesn't believe he has ever spoken to this man before. But no matter, the other seems to have a lot he wants to say.
"You are not to disturb the disciples of this here sect," he orders harshly. "You are but a disturbance to them. They are good children and do not deserve to be tainted. Especially not by the likes of you."
Face deliberately neutral, Wuxian bows. "This one apologizes."
"You will do more than simply apologize!" He snaps. "You will go to the Library Pavillion and copy the rules of the Wall of Discipline twice. I would tell you to do two hours of kneeling at the very least, but the sect leader has forbidden such punishments for your pathetic self."
"..."
"Do you have nothing to say?"
"...I-"
"Yes, Zhuren*. I will copy the rules twice and burden no one with my presence for the rest of the day."
Wuxian digs his fingernails into his palms until they pierce the skin. However, he doesn’t feel it considering deep humiliation and embarrassment are drowning his pain receptors.
"Yes, Zhuren," he repeats between clenched teeth. "I will copy the rules twice and…,” he falters in apprehension. It’s one thing to believe such a conviction, but it’s another to be forced to repeat out loud one’s insecurities. “And…".
"And?" Stresses the older man in impatience and irritation.
What happened to "be patient"? Doesn't the other know that that rule is on the Wall of Discipline?
"...And burden no one with my presence for the rest of the day," finishes Wuxian emotionlessly.
"Get out of my sight."
Wuxian does as told.
He copies the rules four times instead of two, skipping lunch, and decides to forget about his birthday plans. It turns out Lan Zhan did marry a quitter. Well, he always has been good at disappointing both himself and others. It's nothing new.
All he wants to do is hide away in the Jingshi.
He has to "burden no one with his presence for the rest of the day" anyway. So he's simply listening to orders given to him by his senior. He pretends to be asleep when Lan Zhan comes into their room to have dinner, and later on, gives the excuse of being too tired to join in on the night hunt.
"I'm getting old er-gege," he explains with a huff and an exaggerated pout. "I ran around all day in Caiyi town, listening to storytellers and speaking to merchants! I even got everyone some Tonghulu! It's in my pouch on the table."
"Wei Ying…"
"Go on ahead, Lan Zhan. I know the juniors were looking forward to the night hunt."
His lovable, incredible, angelic husband looks at him with unhidden concern. But before he can say anything else, Wuxian stops him.
"If you apologize for not being able to spend the morning with me, one more time , I swear to you, Lan Wangji, I will throw this pillow at you."
He receives an amused huff and the softening of Lan Zhan's eyes as a response.
"If Wei Ying insists."
"I do. Now go have fun Lan-er-gege. Don't forget the Tonghulu!"
The two of them are sitting on their bed, Wuxian's back against the headboard and legs crossed while Lan Zhan sits in front of him, feet on the floor, posture as proper as ever. Wangji leans forward, cups his husband's jaw, and kisses him. He then kisses his cheeks, forehead, nose, eyebrows, closed eyelids, and then the lips once again. He doesn't stop until his beautiful Wei Ying is a blushing, giggling mess.
"Go on now, baobei. I love you too."
Lan Zhan stands but presses one last kiss to his forehead.
"Happy birthday Airen."
Wuxian bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his eyes from watering.
"Thank you Zhang fu."
With one last look filled with adoration, Lan Zhan grabs Bichen and the Qiankun Pouch from the table, and exits the room.
Wuxian is alone.
Again.
As he should be.
He climbs under the covers into a fetal position and closes his eyes, wanting nothing more than for this day to hurry up and come to an end.
He's never liked his birthday anyway.
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"I can't take this anymore! He has gone through so much! Too much! He deserves to feel happy and safe here. This place is supposed to be his home!"
"I agree with you, but what can we do about it?"
"..."
"Oh...Oh no. Absolutely not .”
“I haven’t even said anything yet!”
“I know that look. I don't like that look."
"But…”
“...Ugh. Fine. But what?”
“I have a plan!"
"Is it a good plan?"
"...I have a plan!"
"Oh gods, I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
"Not completely... But he might never forgive us."
"What does this plan of yours entail?"
"Justice! Revelations! Forced confrontations! And…Music!"
"You should've been named Shagua* instead."
"Oh, come on! He'll finally get the closure he needs. And everyone will treat him the way he should be treated! Don't you want what's good for him?"
"You know I do."
"Then what's the issue?"
"I would give you a very long and resigned sigh if I could."
"Sooooo, is that a yes?"
"Unfortunately."
"YAY!!"
"Shut up and let me sleep."
"We don't actually need sleep tho-"
"SHUT UP."