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I'm being perfectly reasonable here. Is it so hard for you to act like normal people? --Antfrost
Dream - The Gogy Fanclub was disbanded months ago, and even if it was still a thing, Sam would not deliver their newsletter to you in prison.
George - I don't know who convinced you to wear that tutu or how, but for your information you’re supposed to wear shorts underneath it. The Gogy Fanclub was finally disbanded, don’t give them cause to take up arms again.
Sam - Hissy was Niki’s pet creeper first. You may not make him the co-warden of the prison, and Niki is filing a custody lawsuit.
Sapnap - I told you not to put a tracking chip on George.
Punz - Stop trying to convince everyone that Ponk and Purpled are twins just because their names start with the same letter. They look nothing alike, and has it occurred to you that your name also starts with a P?
Ponk - Cease construction of that cuck shed immediately. That is the most beautiful cuck shed I have ever seen, but need I remind you that those are illegal after the Incident?
Purpled - Don’t ask random members of the server if they are your father. If you knock on enough doors, the devil will answer one.
Bad - I know you stole my sandwich. I left it in the Eggpire break room, and when I came back it was gone. I will hunt you for sport.
Tommy - Yes, I am heterophobic. Thank you for noticing.
Tubbo - Tubbo, your dreams of becoming an iPad kid are shit and you should feel bad.
Puffy - Is there… a reason you want those pictures of Wilbur and Ghostbur in suggestive positions with each other?
Fundy - When people compliment you on your fursona, the correct response is not to bark at them until they go away. In fact, that’s pretty counterintuitive.
Wilbur - Oh my God, why are you so eager to pose for Puffy’s suggestive photos of you and your ghost self? Please do everyone a favor and go back to your bestiality phase.
Ghostbur - Wilbur is not “being your friend”, he is sexually harassing you. Do not wear that Onceler hat.
Quackity - Using a ouija board to insult Schlatt by bragging about your lack of heart problems is just cruel.
Niki - Did I seriously catch you eating Wilbur’s ashes?
Karl - You are not Mothman’s reincarnation. Put down the Monster Energy and take a nap.
Hbomb - Congratulations on the creation of your female clone. Fundy's restraining order has been denied, but he cried a lot about it so please stay away from him.
Cherrybomb - Do not listen to a word Hbomb tells you. Fundy is not your tsundere master, he does not love being teased, and you do not have to end every sentence with “nya~!”
Techno - Stop pointing out plot holes-- I mean, potholes. We’ll get around to fixing them eventually.
Philza - Stop trying to buy our forgiveness with Wilbur's baby pictures. You are still a war criminal, even if Wilbur was a very cute baby.
Charlie - Just a heads up, humans don’t eat other humans. Since you’re made of primordial ooze, what you did was technically vore.
Ranboo - Thank you for taking Tubbo’s brass knuckles away from him. Please tell me you don’t know how to use those.
Foolish - The Red Banquet was not a big deal, and you should get over it. I only took one of your canon lives. You have more.
Hannah - It is impossible to break into the prison, and Dream cannot turn you into a catgirl. Even if he could, there is nothing stopping you from seeing him legally.
Skeppy - Stop cutting people’s hair while they sleep. And don’t keep the hair either, what the fuck?
Eret - Okay, so maybe playing in the runoff of L’Chunkerror did give you superpowers after all. Please stop levitating ominously in people’s peripheral vision.
Jack - Return Skeppy’s voodoo dolls. Yes, they’re too dangerous for him to have, but he keeps leaving Blair Witch stick figures inside my house while I sleep.
Connor - Sorry you’re the only member of your “normal people club”. Have you tried developing a mental illness? Everyone else already has.