Work Text:
“Zack,” Sephiroth says, “Nothing will help this situation.”
Zack listens in the way that he likes to, only halfway. Half of the information is good enough when the other half sucks. He presses forward, burying his face further into Sephiroth’s throat, breathing in the nothingness when there should be something. Sephiroth holds back a sigh, Zack can feel it in his chest, but the exhale is long and patient.
What would it be like? Zack can’t imagine it. Outside the apartment, Sephiroth smells like an alpha. The smell is rubbed on, a quiet alpha scent. It comes in a small deodorant can with a prescription label. Zack watches him put it on thoughtlessly, wrists, stomach, neck, day after day. It's just another part of Sephiroth's routine as he drinks his coffee and wakes up.
Zack says he doesn’t mind the smell. It’s kinda cute smelling because of how perfect it is but it also isn’t right. It bothers his brain in that weird somebody-has-marked-my-omega-boyfriend way but he is used to dumb alpha logic. Zack can get past that easily enough but the underlying knife of the problem is still there, Sephiroth shouldn’t have to do this. He shouldn’t have to split his life in two for Shinra.
It bubbles up in him but Sephiroth has entrusted his secret to him. That means he’s a keeper of it now, not a freedom fighter.
After a shower, the alpha scent disappears anyways. What is left is a strange nothingness, a blank page in the middle of a book. Zack always tries to sense it, the emotions that Sephiroth could be projecting. It is like smelling an eraser: clean and sterile.
“Zackary. There will never be more there.” A hand runs down his neck and down his spine as he tries to smell anything. “It is not possible.”
Only when Zack presses his nose deep into Sephiroth’s neck can he get anything. It is a faint omega smell, almost identifiable but elusive. What he gets smells perfect but he can’t get anymore. He is like an expired scratch-and-sniff that scratching doesn’t help.
“Aren’t you curious?” Zack pulls back and rests his head on his collarbone.
Sephiroth eyes him, “You will have to be more specific.”
“Have you ever, like, wanted to smell like… you ?”
Sephiroth chuckles and his fingers run back up, making Zack's back shiver. “Of course, but I have a job, an expectation, a reputation. I don’t get the luxury to explore.”
“If you could, would you explore?”
The fingers stop. “Is this a problem for you? That I don’t have a scent?”
“No. I wondered how you felt about it.”
“It isn’t an option at the present.” A deep hum vibrates through Zack’s cheek and settles against his heart, making it stop for a second too long. Zack looks away. Sephiroth’s eyes are betraying them, saying more than he would want.
They collapse into silence. Some days when the day has been hard, they lay in bed together to be together. Tonight is one of those nights. Sephiroth continues to run his fingers up and down his back. Even after over a year of this, it is precious to be in the same bed as him.
Sephiroth slips away around nine. He’s gone. Religiously. He hovers in the kitchen like a ghost, swallowing down the three pills that allow him to lie about who he is to the world.
#
“Hey, Seph. I got an idea. A real good idea, like you are going to kiss me idea.” Zack forces himself to walk to Sephiroth as he comes back to the apartment. The idea has been burning in him all day. “But a question first, how long do you think it would take to get back on the inhibitor?”
Sephiroth looks up from the couch. The TV is off. A book is in his hands. It’s late. Zack had a long boring mission but as usual, Sephiroth has stayed up for him.
“To get back on it? A few days? Four? I am not sure. It is a powerful medication. I suspect no more than that.” He only glances up at Zack barreling towards him.
“Take a vacation with me,” Zack sits in front of him, dragging the book down.
“Take…a vacation with you?” Sephiroth repeats it like it will make more sense.
The couch squeaks as he adjusts his seat, crowding up a little closer. Sephiroth stays where he is but the interest in the book is gone. He closes it.
“I found a rental place, miles and miles and miles away. Don’t look at me like that. We stood and waited for three hours for no one to show up. Anyways, it’s real nice. It’s for celebrities and shit. We take a week and a half off. You get off just the inhibitor. We bag you some normal smelling clothes and then…like wait and see? Nobody will be around. We can crash in the cabin or go walk in the woods around it and shout at squirrels or something.”
“I believe that you would shout at squirrels.”
Zack pauses and thinks about that. He’s right.
“Whatever. You get to be stinky stink omega omega in peace. You get back on the pills when you are ready and then I’ll take all your smelly clothes to the wash. No questions asked.”
Sephiroth’s fingers curl around the cover of the book. He doesn’t look away but he doesn’t say yes. This is Sephiroth’s chance. He’s never been off of any of the medication. He’s too good for it. Zack is not that good. He’d forget on occasion about his weekly rut suppressant, before Sephiroth. That resulted in “rutty” weeks.
Sephiroth didn’t take too kindly to those and eventually snapped at him, telling him “to take your pill once a week. This is not rocket science."
He had a point.
So Zack took his weekly pill now.
Regardless, if Sephiroth got off the inhibitor, he could be himself, if he wanted. No PR, press or prying eyes that expect the dominant alpha who walks out of this apartment every day. Sephiroth could just be an omega. It'd be relaxing for him.
Still, Sephiroth isn’t saying yes and he isn’t saying no.
Zack can’t help himself when the silence drags out too far. “What do you think?”
“I think…” He pauses and blinks. “We should try it.”
#
Zack has to do everything. Nothing can be under the name "Sephiroth" without drawing attention to it. So he gets to figure out more adult things than he ever thought possible. It's kinda stressful.
He actually doesn’t realize how stressful he is until they pull up to the place and the relief hits. Sephiroth has been quiet the whole three hour drive. Well, Sephiroth is always quiet but now even his emotions are locked off. When they swap driving, Sephiroth stares straight ahead with his fingers locked on the wheel.
No need to guess what he is nervous about. This is a big stretch for him. Even taking a vacation is completely new.
Zack tries to focus on his worry about the place. At least that will resolve itself quickly.
It’s a gated community with four properties on hundreds and hundreds of miles. It is for the rich and famous. Since the whole forest is privately owned, no paparazzi can be here for some legal reason beyond Zack. The dense forest makes him feel completely alone as they pull up the driveway.
The place is even better than the photos. The house itself is modern, not Zack’s taste but completely Sephiroth’s. The white lines and glass stick out from nature. It looks like it was out of a magazine. It actually is. It was featured last year in some designer thing.
The GPS announces that they have arrived.
Zack looks over at Sephiroth. It should be right.
The wrinkles grow around Sephiroth’s eyes as he exits the car. Zack hurries to follow. Sephiroth stands, studying the house. Nothing changes. The tension stays in him. He keeps his hand on the driver’s door. Zack inches closer in front of the car but stops, trying to give him room to think.
The forest colors the silence. Zack can hear the pool in the back. He shoves his hands in his pocket and tries not to stare at his shoes.
Sephiroth decides. His hand slips off the car, a soft flicker of a smile comes across his face and his shoulders drop from a tight line.
“It’s good, Zackary,” he says.
Zack explodes in pride.
They explore the house together, dumping the luggage at the door. It is so extremely fancy that Zack should be afraid to touch anything. Instead, he dares himself to touch everything including the boob of the naked lady standing by the fireplace. They are paying for it. Sephiroth laughs behind him before wrapping his arms around Zack's stomach. He’s drawn back and a kiss against his cheek wakes him up. Sephiroth’s hands rove further than they ever can in public.
There is a race to find the master bedroom.
Zack wins only because he already has an idea where it is.
#
At 9:05 p.m., Sephiroth slips out of bed and disappears into the hallway as he always does. Zack watches him go before stretching back and laying out his arm in invitation for him to return. He listens to the tap run downstairs. The case pops open with the medication and he closes his eyes as he imagines the scene he has seen too many times. Sephiroth knocks the pills back like shots, almost like he can’t wait for it to be over with.
Except today there will be one less.
The bed goes cold.
He listens. There is no sound.
The clock marks fifteen minutes passing.
So he gets out of bed and walks down the stairs that look like they should collapse any moment.
Sephiroth is leaning over the counter, one hand plastered out on either side of the black marble. His white hair is silver in the yellow light above the oven. He’s not moving. His head is dropped, staring at the three little pills set before him. Zack walks forward. Sephiroth doesn’t budge as he rubs against his shoulder with his cheek. The fabric is warm and clean smelling. Sephiroth breaks the staring contest with the medication. The scenting didn’t hurt to break that focus.
“Hey there.” He keeps himself pressed against him like it helps.
Sephiroth opens his mouth and closes it. He looks back at the medication.
Zack considers the little pills on the counter. The white circle one is birth control. Not because of Zack, he was on it before they met. The larger square brown one is the heat suppressant. The last one is light pink and a triangle. That’s the omega inhibitor. They are lined up, fussed over in front of Sephiroth's blister packs. The broken lines of packaging are fascinating to him. All little explosions broken into, night and day, over and over. The lies he swallows to live.
“I have been on this medication my whole life. Before I even presented physically.” Sephiroth’s voice is quiet. “I don’t even know when I presented. The blood work was the only indication.” He moves the inhibitor out of line with his finger. “I don’t know what it will be like to be without one.”
Zack’s heart sinks so low that it falls through the floor. It isn’t fair. He leaves a long kiss against his shoulder before speaking. The harder he presses, the less he can feel what’s happening inside him. Sephiroth turns his head, returning the action on his forehead. His neck is bared above him. There it is. Ever so faintly, the smell of unhappiness. He wants to do everything in his power to stop it.
“You don’t have to.” Zack lets up finally and moves the pill back in line.
“But you-”
“This isn’t about me. We can have a great vacation without it.”
“This was the plan.”
“Plans change. The squirrel screaming will remain the same.”
They fall into silence. Sephiroth stares at the pills.
“I don’t know myself. I fear what might happen.”
Zack wants to tell him that he is wonderful, that everything will be perfect but Sephiroth’s eyes are glassy.
“If you want to take it…take it.”
“Are you sure?”
Zack smiles. It hurts. “You’ve always been your own person. This is your body. I don’t get to make these decisions for you.”
“But...” He cuts off because there are no words for it. They’ve settled on the term “partners” for the ease of everyone else but in private, it’s different. They just are.
“Doesn’t change a thing.”
Sephiroth hangs motionless, his face frozen in thought. Zack settled another kiss against his shoulder.
And then Sephiroth decides.
All three pills are swept off the counter into his palm and fall into his mouth. The water washes them down. Zack can’t help it. He’s disappointed but he won’t ruin this. He rubs his head over his shoulder again, enjoying the distinct Zack smell that stays behind. His stomach hurts knowing that now he won’t ever know what they may smell like together.
Man. That had been one of his dreams.
Sephiroth opens his mouth again and Zack cuts him off.
“Don’t you dare try to apologize. We’re good. All good. Let’s go to bed. It’s late.”
It isn’t late but neither of them argues.
#
They actually pull it together the next day.
Surprising considering how rocky Zack was afraid the night before had gone. They wake up when they want to and immediately decide to stay in bed. It’s all slow and lazy. No Shinra, digital calendars, notifications or emails to abide by. Zack’s mind goes hazy with the amount of simple togetherness they have here. Even though everything here is getting charged to Sephiroth’s account, Zack is providing . He finally gets to spoil the omega who has asked for nothing no matter how much Zack tells him to.
Even though their relationship is known, it’s defined differently as an alpha-alpha. With eyes watching, Sephiroth has to be someone else. Zack can’t cuddle up behind Sephiroth while he makes his coffee in public. Sephiroth can’t lean back, rest his head against Zack’s shoulder and take it all in.
To the rest of the world, outward affection isn’t expected publicly and too much is frowned upon.
Little did they all know.
Suckers.
The air is sweet, all moss, wood and leaves with the windows open. The house grows on him. Under the cold steel and the sharp edges, everything is comfortable. It helps to see Sephiroth relax here. The stress melts off as he starts to leave everything else behind. The instinctual continual yes this is safe this is good that radiates off of him, scent or no scent. Zack can sense it.
The validation of this hits like a truck when Zack finds Sephiroth after his shower.
It takes a moment. He isn’t on the stripped master bed. The porch is empty. The backyard that is mostly a pool is abandoned. Even the second bedroom which has been earmarked for tonight is untouched. He almost checks to make sure that the car is still here but that is stupid. He wouldn’t leave him here.
Sephiroth is sprawled on his back across the leather couch completely asleep. The afternoon sun stretches across half his body. His arms are up over his head, left hand falling off the edge of the cushions. His throat, his chest, his stomach, everything is vulnerable. Every muscle usually ready to fight is lax. His face is careless. He doesn’t even wake up as Zack comes closer.
The chronic workaholic is sleeping.
Zack bites back a smile as if that would wake him up.
Then he picks up the little things. A couple pillows spread out and pinned under him, Sephiroth’s head tucked close to one of them. A knit blanket tangled with his feet. One of the back cushions pulled out slightly. It’s not only blankets. There is a glass of water within reach, a book tucked under his arm and his phone isn’t in sight. It is so cozy and warm. Sephiroth rarely indulges his nature but everything reads of a nest.
That makes the emotions swell and choke his eyes. He needs some air. He’ll leave Sephiroth in peace and go outside, maybe try one of the local trails, scream at a squirrel or something.
He creeps forward anyways and dares to put a kiss against Sephiroth’s forehead. It’s light, a reminder of him until he gets back. It shouldn’t have woken him up. Of course, it does.
Sephiroth shifts and makes a noise. A hand comes into Zack’s hair, drawing him back down as he tries to pull away. Sephiroth is half asleep. His eyes are slitted. The hand bends him back over. Zack struggles with his balance until his hand has to be into the nest or else he would fall over. He’s not supposed to do that and it feels wrong. Alphas are invite-only. Yet, isn’t Sephiroth dragging him into it?
He doesn’t fight it. It keeps going until Zack falls into an upside down kiss. Sephiroth’s other hand slips up, curling up into his hair, meeting the first.
It’s sleepy, brief and barely anything but it is a treasure.
“I’m going to go take a walk. Go back to sleep,” Zack manages to get out.
“Hmm.” Sephiroth brings their noses together. The vibration traveling between them.
“Shh, sleep. Dream of sheep.”
Sephiroth blows out a breath. It tickles. His focus slips in and out on Zack, arms wrapped around him. He presses their cheeks together. Zack freezes. Sephiroth sighs and runs his cheek up against Zack’s face to his hairline. A soft kiss gets tucked by his ear before he lets go. The fingers snake away, taking their time against his scalp before dropping back onto the pillows. Sephiroth is gone again instantly. A nest will do that.
Zack withdraws.
His stomach is in knots he doesn’t like.
Rarely does Sephiroth slip.
He always stops himself from doing something he should be able to do but can’t.
It’s completely natural to scent your partner as a goodbye. A little gift to remember them by while they go out in the world.
Between the nest and the nap, Sephiroth got his wires crossed and brokenly scented him.
Zack hovers, uncertain. His fingers touch over his face, drawing against the scented places. Maybe with all the relaxing and the sex, he feels himself hope a little too hard, maybe, the omega inside perked up. He brings it to his nose. It's so selfish that he is this curious.
The drugs continue to work.
The smell on his fingers is like a ghost. The barest hint of an omega is there. It could be even a happy scent but nothing more, nothing complex, nothing distinctly Sephiroth .
Zack takes a key, locks the door and walks it off.
When Sephiroth first told him the truth, Zack had laughed at him. It must have been a joke. The General, The Hero of Midgar, The Sephiroth, is secretly an omega? That is one of the best jokes he had ever heard.
They had been dating for months in a causal relationship. A very find-you-in-the-closet relationship that never went far in the hot and heavy department. The next step was “training” together at night. Sometimes they would make out on the mats until Sephiroth stopped them, breathless and sweaty. Other times, they would talk. It would be mostly Zack but Sephiroth grew into it. It was when Sephiroth talked first that Zack realized that they were becoming a thing.
Sephiroth had still been pretending to be an alpha with him then. The hard way he pushed back but eventually broke. The fake growl he had developed rumbling out of him. The way that he used to have to slather on the perfume to be okay in close proximity to Zack.
Even now, as himself, Sephiroth has never been or had any inclination to be a classic movie omega. That human didn’t exist anyways. Not with any of the omegas that Zack had dated or slept with before. They were all strong people, clever, smart and being an omega was part of their identity, not all of it.
Not that society liked to see them that way.
Half braved all the bullshit to change the stereotype.
The other half seemed to buy scent suppressants and slipped in and out of the world as betas.
But to pretend to be an alpha? Well, that just didn’t happen.
Unless you were Sephiroth, the golden boy of Shinra who had millions of gil poured into you before you were even put in the womb of a mother you never knew.
And still somehow “lost” the rigged lottery.
Zack thinks that Sephiroth won it but whatever, his opinion doesn’t matter.
So when Sephiroth was ready and they were stumbling in Sephiroth’s bedroom, already half naked, Zack had laughed at the secret whispered in his ear. He had laughed even harder and pushed Sephiroth into a wall when he repeated it.
It took Sephiroth fully stopping them for him to listen and realize that he was being serious.
No matter how honest Sephiroth was, it took them having sex to truly believe it. Zack couldn't believe it when his body reacted to the omega with him. That was how good Sephiroth was at smelling and acting as an alpha. Acting that Zack later found out that was trained into him as soon as they found out his secondary orientation. It continues to happen even though Sephiroth is well into his twenties.
Sephiroth is quieter after those sessions when they are alone.
Zack feels bad about not believing him. He still apologizes for laughing. In his heart, he really is apologizing for Sephiroth having to physically prove it. Sephiroth tells him to get past it.
A lot of things made sense after that.
Like Sephiroth asking Zack his preferences on mates or how he was always extra attentive when Zack talked about omegas. Thankfully Genesis had thrashed all omega misconceptions out of his head before Sephiroth. Sometimes literally. He could still imagine the flat side of Rapier hitting his butt repeatedly after Zack let it slip that he thought alphas were stronger than omegas.
Genesis had beat him into the mat with Angeal laughing in the background. Zack had to scream he was very wrong to get it to end.
Angeal’s and Genesis’ approval was one of the reasons that Sephiroth had even sought Zack out to begin with.
Zack wouldn’t have minded if Sephiroth was actually an alpha. He’s dated everyone. There are bonuses to everyone. Zack had to admit there is a very special way that his mind clicks when he is in a relationship with an omega. It’s a dumb instinct thing that didn’t mean anything other than this gut curling pleasure that he got to do his job . He confessed it to Angeal once he found out that the other two Firsts knew Sephiroth’s secret.
Angeal didn’t laugh at his embarrassed question.
Unlike some shithead he knows.
Angeal had hugged him and told him that it was natural but in the end meant nothing. Every configuration of a relationship was equal. Some had a little help from nature in the beginning.
Nature that they had decided to surround themselves with for over a week.
Dinner is takeout. Half of the night is planned to be spent awake. At 9:05, Sephiroth slips out and returns quickly. He says into Zack’s mouth that he has taken all three. Zack tells him it doesn’t matter, that they are having a great time and later when things are starting to dissolve into stars that Sephiroth is perfect either way. That isn’t supposed to leave his mouth but it does.
He buries his head into Sephiroth’s shoulder, laughing awkwardly so he doesn’t have to see the reaction. So much for being a stoic alpha. He never fit the stereotype. Neither one of them do. Sephiroth is crashing from his own high because there is no reaction. Zack is thankful for that.
#
“Hey, Seph-” Zack’s words get cut off into a yawn as he stumbles out onto the patio the next morning. “You forgot something.”
The bed was cold when he woke up and the sun was too high in the window. Zack slept in too much. He hates how much this happens. Even when he is working, sometimes he will look at the time and he has ten minutes before that important meeting.
Sephiroth turns from where he sits at the edge of the pool, his legs disturbing the water. “Good morning to you too Zackary.”
Zackary . Somebody is in a good mood this morning. Zack nearly spills the two cups of coffee he is carrying. Sephiroth leans back. The casual clothes look odd on him. He watches Zack struggle with the flagstones.
“One step at a time, typically one starts with their dominant foot so for you, start with your right and see what happens.”
“No coffee, too complicated.” A bit of coffee spills over. Well, that one can be his.
Sephiroth shakes his head and goes back to staring across the pool and the surrounding woods. It is so private. The city noises and the constant feeling of people are gone. The paranoia about how to treat Sephiroth is gone. Here they can be themselves. No worries haunt him about someone catching them being affectionate outside the apartment.
Once they had thought they were safe. Zack had plastered Sephiroth up against a wall at a conference outside of Midgar. The whole moment caught Zack's heart in his throat. It was crazy. Their lips had locked together. Zack pressed his hands hard against Sephiroth’s above their heads. His body modeled to his. Zack had growled, completely in over his head. It was daring, beautiful, dizzying and completely stupid. One photo of it was taken, shaky and grainy, and it had graced every cheap magazine cover. The tagline was “A New Definition of Alpha Love?”
Awkward.
That was also the first, and not the last time, Sephiroth’s personal PR team gave Zack The Talk.
Sephiroth takes the cup offered and Zack wobbles into sitting next to him.
“Slept well?”
Zack swallows a big gulp. “Once I got to sleep, yeah.”
“Oh no, what kept you up?” Sephiroth’s fake concern locks Zack’s chest. He chokes and laughs at the same time. Sephiroth does a terrible job of hiding his face with the rim of his glass.
“One horny omega kept me up.”
“That sounds…problematic.”
“I like it.”
Sephiroth frowns. “Odd that you say that because I had a similar but opposite problem.”
“You did?”
“One horny alpha.”
Zack is ready for that joke but still laughs.
“That sounds…” Zack tries to think of something clever. His brain comes up with lots of words but none of them are the exact definition of what he wants.
“That sounds very good.” Sephiroth fills in for him.
A reflexive rumble comes out of his chest. Sephiroth hums back, staring straight ahead. No purring, there wouldn’t ever be any of that. He never learned how. It was alright. There are so many other ways to be happy and they are still discovering them. Zack kicks the cold water and enjoys the quiet next to him.
Until he remembers that his left fist is still closed for a reason.
“Oh Seph, this must have dropped out of your hand this morning.”
Sephiroth glances over as Zack offers his hand. A pink pill sits in it. The disinterest doesn’t change as Sephiroth takes it. The inhibitor rolls between his two fingers.
“I suppose that could have happened, yes.”
Zack doesn’t want to say anything. He doesn’t want to hope. Sephiroth probably got up so early that the kitchen was dark and he didn’t notice. So he leans back, kicking the water and staring up at the sky.
“What do you want to do today? Hiking?” Zack asks, trying to move away from the subject. “There is this big trail we could hike around the area. Well, there are actually several trails and they all seem pretty private. Maybe we could see some deer or squirrels. We could even pack lunch.”
The little pill rotates between Sephiroth’s fingers. Zack’s words stutter and stop.
“Or this might have been intentional,” Sephiroth says softly.
The medication flies into the pool. It splashes and disappears from the world.
All thought pauses. Zack stares at Sephiroth and at the content look on his face. He leans forward, resting his elbows against his thighs and stares at where the pill went.
“No way.”
“Yes… ‘way’ ? It is the way?” Sephiroth shakes his head. “I am taking myself off the inhibitor. The health risks should be minimal.”
It feels like his birthday but Zack forces himself to stop. “Wait, you aren’t doing it just for me, right? I know that you were nervous about this. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is for me. Mostly. I want to know. I know you do too.”
Zack feels so many things at once. Pride that Sephiroth is willing to try to be more of the person that was taken away from him. A jab at Shinra for all their rules and regulations. Excitement for finally getting to know exactly what the two of them are like together. It overwhelms him so much that his brain defaults to the first course of celebration.
Zack shouts nonsense, grabs Sephiroth by one of his shoulders and shoves him bodily into the pool.
This is probably not the best way to celebrate.
Sephiroth, no matter the surprise, is graceful at most everything. Could a man be graceful falling into the deep end of the pool? Zack would have said no before. There is only a grunt, a small splash and then the entirety of his partner is underneath the surface. The longest of the white strands brush the top of the water.
Zack is supposed to jump in with him.
Instead he can’t help laughing as Sephiroth resurfaces in a surge. One gasp and cough comes out of him. He rubs his eyes and looks around wider than usual, his arms and legs working to keep in at the surface. Zack keels over to the side, laying flat out and shaking so hard it hurts.
Zack can’t help but watch as Sephiroth pulls himself out of the water immediately and back to the edge. The water splashes on the tile. Sephiroth’s clothes sag off of him as he crouches there. His hair plastered everywhere, knots of it dripping down. The default Sephiroth expression has been swapped for something with blinking eyes and a lack of composure.
All in all, he looks like a drowned cat.
Zack drags himself back up.
It hurts how much he has laughed as he pulls out his phone.
Sephiroth glares at him, catching his breath. The water pours off him as he sits. He rubs his face, pushing back his hair. Zack’s laughs quiet as he realizes that the shirt has gone completely sheer.
It is a picture worthy moment.
But there would be others.
The phone goes to the side, far away from the edge.
“Fair is fair. Do it.” Zack puts his hands up in the air and readies himself for the push.
Sephiroth sucks in a breath and considers.
“No. I am better than that.”
Zack closes his eyes and opens his arms wider. “No revenge?”
“No.”
“ No? You won’t be fair?”
“Zackary.”
There is a sound, wet cloth dragging against the tiling. Zack’s heart picks up. He scrunches his eyes further as the urge to open them grows.
“Is this all one terrible pun on your name?”
Yup. That voice is closer.
“I got teased about it my whole life. Gotta-” He chokes for a second as Sephiroth’s breath touches his face. “Gotta get some personal mileage out of it.”
No response.
Zack continues, his voice squeaking more than he wants. “Did I win?”
A couple of drops of water fall on his pants. A blush is rising up his neck, Zack can feel it. His hands fall to his sides. He’s stretching out trying to find any hint of what will happen. All he can smell is chlorine and forest. Sometime soon, that will change.
That makes his heart pound harder.
“I don’t know,” Sephiroth says close to his ear, “is getting what you want winning?”
The surprise gets him to open his eyes.
Oh. He’s right there. Water still dripping down the side of his face, leaning right in, a few inches away.
“Yea-yeah?”
The focus changes. Sephiroth eyes Zack’s lips.
“I suppose I should let you win on occasion. Alphas are prone to self esteem issues.”
“Yeah,” Zack’s brain shortcircuits.
He just said that.
And he just agreed to having self esteem issues.
He doesn’t really care.
“Hmm. Perhaps. Or are you saying yes to everything?”
Zack is about to explode.
“Ye-”
Sephiroth closes the gap.
He tastes like the pool, all chemicals and sweetness. An arm comes around his back as Sephiroth pushes forward onto him, knocking him back. He gets soaked. The wet shirt and body weight pressing him does quick work. He’s freezing cold against how overworked Zack’s heart has gotten him in the last few minutes. He takes the opportunity anyway. His fingers run through the long hair, removing the tangles he finds. The other holds Sephiroth even closer, squeezing them together.
That type of reassurance is always a winner.
It earns him a sound, soft and omega, as Sephiroth falls on top of him entirely.
The pressure buzzes in him, every point of contact.
Yes.
This.
Until Sephiroth pauses, eyes all wild and amused.
Zack gets one second to realize just how close they are with Sephiroth hugging Zack to his chest.
“Seph-!”
Sephiroth pushes off with his free hand and rolls them both into the pool.
#
It took two days for Sephiroth’s body to realize that it could do something different. The first day they felt pretty safe to go for a day-long hike. Most of the time they would walk in silence or talk about meaningless things.
Genesis and Angeal come up a lot. They paired officially a few months earlier. It was a weird time for both of them. Zack’s eyes still aren’t used to the scar forming on Genesis’ neck or the new way that Angeal has found to look at his omega. It feels weird like they have entered their own secret club and it is permanently closed to new members.
In a way, he supposes that’s true.
Now Genesis is pushing Shinra to allow him to have heats.
To them, he says it is for “omega equality”.
In private, he just says he’s doing it because he’s bored and wants to rile up the Board. He throws back his head, laughing, leaning closer to Angeal, completely comfortable in the way that Angeal scents him automatically now.
Sephiroth only took a drink and wished him luck.
It’s that impassiveness towards the mated pair that says more than any words.
And in a more confusing sense, that hurts Zack even more.
On occasion on a hill or an outcropping of rock, they would stop and sit to stare at the view.
Sephiroth stops in the middle of the woods once and pulls out a worn small book to identify a tree. It’s so bizarre that Zack doesn’t know what to say. So he says nothing and hunts for interesting rocks, waiting as Sephiroth flips the pages. Sometimes Sephiroth does weird stuff. It's better not to comment. He eventually puts a leaf of the tree between the pages, closes the book and announces with full satisfaction that this particular tree, which looks like every other one, is a Chinkapin oak.
Zack is still confused.
The tree continues to stand there, tall, unimportant and just one plant in a forest of them.
But then Zack gets it as Sephiroth comes over.
“Look at this." Peace settles over Sephiroth as he flips the book to the first page, to show him the cursive that is on the front page. It belongs to a Gast Faremis.
“I carry this forward, for him. We did this together.” Sephiroth’s face softens as he looks at the tree. Another piece of his life falls into place. A mystery solved. The breeze pulls pieces of his braided hair away from his face. Another tribute to the person that meant something to Sephiroth.
This tree is a Chinkapin oak tree.
The fact won’t change.
Unlike everything else that life likes to throw at them, this tree will still be a tree and be a Chinkapin oak. It will stand here through both of their deaths. Zack nods and says something close to wow but he doesn’t get a response.
This happens throughout the day. Zack doesn’t complain, only collects more interesting rocks.
Zack waits until Sephiroth identifies the tree to show him the interesting rocks that he found. The rocks get a similar interested in a disinterested way response. By the end of the day, they are both muddy, sweaty and exhausted. Zack has too many interesting rocks. They leave the little pile in one of the garden beds. How long will it stay there? He wonders if they come back that he will still be able to find it.
He’d like that.
The second day they stay inside. The TV connects to all the major streaming services so they pick a series to watch and settle down for the day. Zack couldn’t remember the last time that he had enjoyed his time this much.
He’s also on sniff duty. Sephiroth asks a few times a day if there has been any change. Your own scent is like your voice, you know you’ve got it but you never know exactly what it sounds like.
Sephiroth is getting there, too slowly for both their tastes. The scent glands are working. The omega scent is increasing but it still takes effort to find and doesn’t relay anything more. By evening, it’s deepening. A more rich, mature, dark smell instead of the light hint but it is generic and doesn’t give the range of emotional hints that it should.
It actually hurts his brain to smell all that.
He’s gotten very used to not having to deal with his instincts.
The scent pushes him to do dumb stuff. Zack finds himself giving blankets to Sephiroth with the excuse that he looks cold on a hot summer night. Or he finds that he is clingier, that he wants to smother this omega with love and be close at all times. It gets even worse. Even though Zack can’t smell it, he can see that Sephiroth is getting nervous. He doesn’t say that, just asks for updates too frequently on what’s happening. They only have a few days left before Sephiroth should get back on the pill.
So it ramps up the alpha in Zack even more.
So he tries to make dinner and burns it terribly.
Sephiroth tolerates all of it, allowing the cuddles and doting until he can’t stand it.
“I’ll meet you upstairs,” he whispers, extracts himself and politely disappears upstairs. It happens even at Midgar when it all just becomes a little too much for the loner. Affection is difficult for Sephiroth even after a year. It’s okay. They are allowed to be apart. It’s just part of the deal. He’s never had anybody close to him. Sometimes he needs his space. They’ve been lucky to have so much time together anyway.
It doesn’t make the emptiness easier for Zack. He has to close his eyes and focus on anything else. Being alone like this makes him nervous, questioning everything, wondering what he did wrong.
It’s irrational.
But driven by his gut and he cares, okay?
The door closes upstairs.
His head buries in one of the pillows. The omega smell is there. He listens to the soft footfalls and movements and waits until it is a reasonably late hour.
Eventually he crawls to their bedroom and finds Sephiroth curled up on their bed with a book. It’s a relief. It’s enough of a sign that he continues. He gets ready for bed and climbs onto the mattress. No words are needed as Sephiroth allows him to slip under his arm and collapse against him. The book is some nonfiction thing about the stars. Light reading for Sephiroth, near alien for Zack.
Peace settles back over him.
How did he get so lucky?
Zack reads along, enjoying the illustrations more than the words. Sephiroth is warm against his body and this close, he can hear the slow heartbeat. Sephiroth’s hand comes to rest on his back until the pages need turning. Then it returns afterward.
Alphas aren’t supposed to be needy. Traditionally their positions should be reversed. In this relationship, Zack is the one to reach. It’s hard not to be with Sephiroth. Sephiroth can’t initiate. The big brain gets in the way. He’s been fighting his whole life. It’s hard to stop. The fingers work on a circle on his back as he rests there, hypnotic and slow between the page turns. So Zack is the one to cuddle up and none of it matters. Nobody knows the truth so they get to do whatever they want.
Right now all that matters is that Sephiroth is right there. His omega. Zack doesn’t use the possessive often and rarely, if ever, says it out loud. First of all Sephiroth isn’t something to be owned. The bonds that tie the two of them together are strong but it is a two-way relationship. No matter what the media likes to paint, an omega, even a mated one, could walk away without any repercussions. Beyond that, it doesn’t feel right. The labels apply but only where they don’t.
But he is right there, smelling more omega than ever before and trusting Zack to keep all parts of this complex secret.
Zack digs his nose deeper in the soft shirt. The contentedness shivers down in him. Sephiroth’s slow breathing rocks him. The page turns. His eyes can’t focus. It’s all fuzzy. Everything is warm and right. This is the one he wants to be with. The hand returns to his back, fingers swirling over his spine. They work forward and then backward in a way Zack can count.
Sleep eases over him, dark and comfortable.
Fuck.
He wakes up with his heart beating in his throat.
Fuck.
Something is wrong.
He’s covered in sweat.
What is wrong?
Zack realizes he is already on his feet, massively off balance and stumbling to the door. The house is pitch black. He’s soaked through. Every dark corner has an enemy in it. His feet are sticky and numb against the floor. They must be under attack. Maybe it’s Shinra, finally deciding enough is enough.
He has to move and defend them.
His sword sits in its sheath by the bedroom door. Masamune is by the front door.
Wait. No. It hits him like a truck. Sephiroth.
The bed is empty.
Sheets tossed on both sides, a rumbled confused mess in the middle.
“Seph-” Zack starts to call and coughs. He’s not awake enough for words. Announcing his presence by yelling his name isn’t going to help them.
Zack’s stomach turns. Something is so wrong that he wants to throw up.
He hurries to the weapon. The sword grip is good. He pulls off the sheath. The edge is sharp. He can depend on that.
Where is Sephiroth? It pounds in his head harder than the headache he’s getting.
The room is empty. The door to the rest of the house is closed. Everything is silent besides the blood boiling inside him. He’s too late. The fighting is over and someone is dead or even worse, captured, pinned, forced to the floor, growling, fighting-
Zack can’t even think to stand still.
The door opens and he rushes to what he thinks will be the attacker. The hallway is dark. The moonlight from downstairs bouncing off the floor and onto the ceiling here. Nothing. Downstairs then. Zack quiets his breathing, lowers his center of gravity and creeps to the stairs. It’s bad. He needs to protect them. Sephiroth should be able to do it himself but what if something had happened? Zack is strong too. This is his job. He’s a SOLDIER.
The Turks? It could be them.
R&D? They would be pissed about the inhibitor. They would send the Turks.
Maybe even sedatives, gases, the awful things that crawl out at night.
Things they would struggle to fight against.
They knew how to take down a SOLDIER.
Any SOLDIER.
No.
That won’t happen.
He’d die before they dragged Sephiroth back into the lab trying to physically change him over into an alpha again only to have everything come back. He’d protect them until he fell over, bleeding and screaming.
The landing opens. He’s careful not to brush the blade against the metal handrails.
They will be there. Jumping from the landing onto them will be a good way to start.
The only thing that fills the living room is the moonlight.
The furniture sits untouched. The TV is off. The naked lady statue stands still. The couch is empty, the blankets still a mess at the end. The windows are closed and unbroken. Everything is still. There is no one there. Zack’s breath catches in his throat. He inches forward and stretches to see the front door.
The door is shut and locked.
Masamune stands propped up and unused.
What the fuck.
Zack’s head spins. He sits on the first step. The sword gets set down next to him. His fingers massage his temples. His head throbs. Something is wrong. He needs to protect. He needs to fight something to make it better. But why? He was dead asleep. Every muscle in his back hurts from pulling himself out of that.
He wakes up enough to take a deep breath.
Distress.
The bitterness of it stings the back of his throat. It gets his heart pumping again. That’s what’s been fueling him. Omega distress is floating up from downstairs and it was potent enough to wake him up in a panic.
Fuck.
No one is here. Sephiroth doesn’t have heats and it doesn’t even smell close to aroused. It smells like pain and grief and tears.
Zack gets moving again, sword still in hand because he can’t go without it. The stairs are solid under him. He’s still careful on the first floor, still looking for Turks but there are none. Zack’s eyes fill with tears as he starts down the hallway. It’s overwhelming. He’s so sensitive after such a long time without it.
The shower in the bathroom is running.
No screams. No tang of blood or violence in the air. No crying. Just the rush of water as it hits the tile.
Zack puts the sword down, right outside so he could grab it if needed. Surprising Sephiroth while armed sounds like a recipe for disaster. Sephiroth is stronger than him. Not that he would want to beat Zack into submission or a pulp but whatever is happening isn’t good.
Zack wipes the tears away from his eyes and steels himself. The protective anger in him is high and hard against his throat.
“Sephiroth?” He knocks and tries the door, not wanting to wait for permission to come in.
The bathroom is smaller than the one upstairs. There is a shower stall with a tile seat, a seat that Sephiroth is sitting on, in his pajamas, soaking wet, with his head in his hands. He looks up at the sight of Zack and he sees the flash of something raw and painful before Sephiroth blinks it away. The shower spray pounds his back.
“Zack…what woke you up?” Sephiroth asks almost smoothly, only breaking a little.
Considering Zack is swimming in upset distressed omega pheromones, the question is comical. He leaves the door open, steps in and has to put his hand against the sink to steady himself.
“Are you alright?”
Sephiroth sits up straight. “Zack, go back to bed.”
“No way man.” He shakes his head, trying to shake off the urge to kill whatever has done this.
“I am bathing.” His eyes are rimmed with pink.
Zack has to fight the urge to laugh in pain. Sephiroth is sitting, drenched in his clothes, so upset that Zack is nauseous and he insists that he is taking a shower .
“Seph just tell me what is wrong, come on, I’m not going anywhere. Nobody bathes with their clothes on.”
“You look tired.” Sephiroth’s face turns microscopically. “Why do you smell so alpha? Were you dreaming of us? Is that what woke you? Is that what you want?”
“No.” Zack grits his teeth. For being so intelligent, Sephiroth can be an idiot. Fine. He will take this further. He’s only wearing his boxers so it’s nothing to him to open the shower door and step inside. Sephiroth withdraws immediately. He sits back even further making more of the spray pound his head instead of his shoulders.
So Zack crouches, lowering the threat level, reminding him that they are partners, and grasps one of Sephiroth’s hands before he can pull that away too.
Despite the warmth of the water, Sephiroth feels cold.
“You can talk to me,” Zack whispers.
Sephiroth pauses but doesn’t remove his hand. Slowly he leans forward and sighs. The hair falls forward with a clump. The smell gets worse. Sephiroth’s fingers tighten around his.
“Why are you showering this late?” Zack asks and rolls his thumb over Sephiroth’s wrist before kissing the small bump there. Just a little pressure, nothing too romantic, a reminder of how safe he is. This stuff is really biologically cheating but he’s willing to press any button he can to get Sephiroth through this.
And it works as a sigh comes out above him.
“Zack, just go to bed.”
It’s one last attempt. There is no conviction in it. Sephiroth’s eyebrows pull together, he’s fighting it but not stopping Zack from doing it again, which he does. He kisses his wrist and then fights the instinct to lick his lips. The sourness of the stress is stuck on him now. Zack’s heart has slowed from jackhammering but it is still not happy.
“Seph,” he prompts. He blinks away the spray coming into his eyes. Water rolls down his back but he shifts a little further forward, trying to make him feel even safer.
“I am trying to open up the scent glands. I am being impatient.” Sephiroth plays with Zack’s hand, matching their fingers together, the thin ones to his thick ones. All the signs have always been there.
“Yeah?”
Sephiroth links their hands together, fully engrossed in it. “I wanted this to work.”
“What?” Zack squeezes back. It could be his imagination but the distressed smell is fading.
Sephiroth’s attention snaps to him. “Being off the inhibitor.”
“But it has worked.”
“But you say it still smells just omega, nothing distinctive. Generic. Boring.” Sephiroth tries to pull away his fingers but Zack doesn’t let him. Instead he adds the other, wrapping it up and then pressing Sephiroth’s palm against his cheek.
“It’ll get there.” Zack means it even with a little bit of doubt in him.
“I’ve never had the opportunity to be myself, I never even wanted it before you, but you’ve pushed me. It has been positive but we've run out of time. I have to start the inhibitor the day after tomorrow, to give us enough time to get back to normal.”
The truth of that statement does sting.
Sephiroth continues and smooths his hand against the stubble on Zack’s face. “I thought it would be different. That I would feel,” Sephiroth’s face hardens and then he gives up, “better. For lack of a better word, more omega.”
Zack lets go and the hand stays. It hurts his heart to ask but he feels like he has to.
“Do you want that?”
Sephiroth’s hand stops, frozen in motion. The shower fills the quiet between them.
“What?”
Zack is committed so he swallows and pushes forward, “To be more omega?”
Emotions fly through Sephiroth. The thumb on his face moves again, thoughtless and idle. He says nothing. He doesn’t have to. The emotion settles close to unhappiness in his eyes but it’s reserved, quiet, almost not allowed.
“Is this about Genesis, Seph?” Zack asks softly. His body seizes at the question he has been dying to ask since he knew.
The sadness urges closer to the surface before Sephiroth shuts it down again. “What do you mean?”
“…did you-have you ever-” Zack scrambles for the tense but every word he puts together is wrong. “Do you want to present as omega? If you could? In real life?”
Sephiroth pauses. A long one. His eyes slip away from Zack, he studies the wall, focuses, putting together the pieces. The air between them is intolerable. He wants to squeeze the soaked omega, to rumble in his ears, to make it all better. He holds himself back, only allows himself to be still, unaggressive, not to spook him away further.
“No, I am content being both,” he says finally.
Zack can’t help himself. “But Genesis is the celebrated omega but you’re better one-”
Sephiroth shakes his head. “I cleared the way for Genesis. He enjoys his freedoms only because of what I have done and continue to do. The people I care about know the truth.”
“But-”
“No. I will have a version of myself that belongs to only me and those I wish to share with. I don’t owe Shinra my identity. They cannot take that away.” It’s so firm and sure for him. Sephiroth presses his hand harder against his cheek as if to prove his point.
Zack’s words bubble up against his throat.
It hits him. This whole thing was his idea. Maybe Sephiroth has been happy with himself this whole time and it has been Zack asking him to change.
Because Zack was taking the binaries all too seriously.
That Sephiroth should be one or the other because that would make him happier, because that's how it works.
But it’s not his decision. It’s never been his decision.
Zack was assuming.
That’s 100% not a good thing to do.
Especially with as complex a man as Sephiroth sitting in front of him.
He looks further down, embarrassed, conceding further.
“Okay.”
“But do you want that?” Sephiroth’s fingers draw down Zack’s jaw, catching on the edge before tracing down the veins in his neck. The water makes them glide against his skin. He shivers as they stop over the scent gland in his own neck. Zack can’t help himself as he shifts his feet and looks up, trying to focus on the words that are asked of him.
“Do you want me to be more omega?”
Zack takes a moment and tries to clear his head. His head is stuck on the pressure on his neck and the way that it settles in his heart, makes him feel like he belongs. Two can play this game. Sephiroth rubs over the gland. The smallest whimper comes out of him. It takes all his mental strength to pull back and not melt into the lap in front of him.
They are having a serious conversation.
It’s a complicated question, especially given everything pounding in his head, but the answer is easy.
Zack puts his hand over Sephiroth’s. It stops the buzzing in the back of his head but it is like scratching an itch. It’ll be back and even worse when he lets go.
“Sephiroth, I started dating you when I thought you were an alpha . I don’t care how you present. It doesn’t matter to me. I just want you to be happy.”
Sephiroth blinks. “But you didn’t believe I was an omega when I told you, I don’t think you wanted to.”
That’s like a knife to the stomach. The guilt stabs hard and quick. Zack feels himself wince and he pulls back. The hand leaves his neck and the emptiness aches.
“I was being dumb,” he mutters to the tile.
“You didn’t believe me until we had sex.”
“How-how-how did you know that?” He looks up sharply. Angeal wouldn’t have told.
Sephiroth’s smile is small and weak. “Zack, it was obvious. When we started, you looked down and said out loud, ‘oh fuck you are an omega’. I don’t need a degree in psychology.”
“Oh man. I’m sorry.” He looks back down. He’s a shit partner. He should leave now. He could crawl into the forest and sleep under a dead tree.
“But then you stayed despite the deceit and then we got even closer.” Sephiroth lifts his chin, forces him to look up and see the quiet forgiveness there. “It made things feel…better, more whole.”
Oh.
Zack swallows.
Maybe it is okay.
He’s made up for it.
Somehow.
“I believe you’ve come to like it. Between the two of us, I have too.” Sephiroth’s fingers leave his chin and he leans back, allowing the water to pound the back of his head. “You’ve made it easier to be both, most of the time.”
“I thought getting off the inhibitor would be a good next step to that. Something I haven’t tried before but I have been worried.” He closes his eyes, lifts his face and allows the water to hit his forehead. All that Zack can see is the beautiful skin stretching on his neck, the lines that form by the tendons, the raised areas that no one will ever be able to bite, the vulnerability bared easily.
Sephiroth continues, blind to his eyes. “What if the glands have been damaged by the strength of the inhibitors? There is even a possibility that if I start to produce some distinctive scent that it will be damaged. Who knows what Hojo has done.”
Zack pushes back the urge to kill Hojo. “It’s okay. Whatever it will smell like, it’ll be fine.”
The scent coming off of Sephiroth has relaxed into neutral but it spikes with anxiety.
He opens his eyes and jerks down to look at Zack. “What if-”
Zack rises, having enough of the tile floor. He slips in next to Sephiroth on the ledge. If he wasn’t already drenched, this would have done it.
He smiled with confidence. “Hey, why do you think I am here?”
“You were looking for sex in a shower,” Sephiroth says.
“Always but no,” He laughs. “You woke me up. You were upset enough that I could scent it upstairs. Almost gave me a heart attack.”
Sephiroth looks away. “You can now scent my emotions? That’s unfortunate.”
“Welcome to being stinky.”
Then it clicks. He can see the recognition as Sephiroth looks back at him. “So it’s working?”
“Considering I’m so jacked up on omega pheromones that I want to smother you or kill the world or both, yeah, I’d say so.” And it is true. Even thinking about it makes it harder so he settles for leaning away, turning off the shower. The white noise disappears. The tension falls.
“I didn’t know why I decided to partner with an alpha,” Sephiroth’s words have no bite as he lets the stress go. The hard lines of his shoulders relax and he leans back as Zack gets up.
“Dunno but I like it.”
Water pours out onto the floor as he pulls two towels from the rack. There are several advantages to not wearing clothes around the house. He just found another. The air is cold so wrapping the cloth feels good. Water splatters on the tile behind him. Sephiroth’s nightshirt is being rung out. He’s way too practical for his own good. The wad of cloth drops next to him on the seat, his chest moving calmly.
He holds out his hand as Zack returns and half stands.
“Nah, you’ve got to let me.”
Zack sees Sephiroth fight it internally, the yes and no, the pride and the concessions. His hand stays hung in the air. Zack is dying to do anything physical for him.
“Please.”
The hand falls. Sephiroth sits back down, eyes not sold and making too much contact to be anything other than confrontational. Zack smiles anyways. He makes a big deal out of unfolding the towel, letting it flourish in the air.
“So I was thinking about sunbathing tomorrow? Maybe more of that dumb reality show? We could get more takeout.” He starts talking, pointless little things to keep Sephiroth distracted as he settles the towel around his shoulders.
The goosebumps that have formed on Sephiroth’s skin disappear under the white fluff. Sephiroth sighs as if he is tolerating it but his chin falls. The tension leaves his face. He blinks slowly under the attention. Zack plays with the corners, pulling the fabric tight, making sure it is fitting right. Yes, his mind says, yes, this is correct. He is doing what he is supposed to.
It’s big enough that Zack is half tempted to tie it like a superhero blanket but he doesn’t want to push it. It suits Sephiroth to be cared for even if it is hard for him. He has been through too much in his life. It’s like a hole that can never be filled but Zack will keep trying. That’s what he wants to do.
“Sparing. That’s what we will do tomorrow.” It’s quiet but not a suggestion when Sephiroth finally pulls himself back together.
Sephiroth’s fingers come up, grabbing the edges, pulling them tight.
“You want to beat me up?” Zack laughs.
“Yes.”
“Fine. Feeling better?” Zack asks.
Sephiroth nods and rises, pushes past him, leading him back upstairs, trying to reconstruct some semblance of what the outside world sees.
It’s later, in the semi-darkness right before morning, that Zack wakes up again. This time his head is clear. Sephiroth has crept up next to him, settled next to his side. His head is on Zack's chest with his arm wrapped around. He’s happy. The scent is warm and reassuring, almost as good as the embrace. Zack can’t help but sigh into it, melting back even further.
“The alpha I chose,” Sephiroth says quietly into Zack’s shirt. There are so many words there but the meaning is clear. No submission is in it, just affection. Zack hurts with pride. He half rumbles and moves, pulling him a little closer. Sephiroth jerks in surprise before settling forward.
“The omega I got lucky enough to meet,” Zack pauses, “and alpha, kinda, both?”
“Both.”
“Alright.”
#
Whoever thinks that fighting Sephiroth for fun clearly needs to get their head knocked a few times.
For Zack, he needs a different solution. As he hits the dirt for the fifth time, his will to stand up doesn't change. If anything, it’s gotten stronger.
“Footwork, Zackary,” Sephiroth says, “a First should be clean and firm with how he steps.”
He puffs out the dirt stuck to his face, rolls back onto his heels and looks over his shoulder, “But I’m lazy .”
“Laziness will get you killed.” Sephiroth stands away, casually, sword by his side, looking pleased with himself. A smile teased on him, not quite there, not quite allowed, not now, not ever.
They couldn’t spar in the house or the garden so they hiked to a campground with an area clear enough for two SOLDIERs to have at it. Well, for Zack to have at it and Sephiroth to humor him until he got tired.
Zack pushes up, trying to ignore the heat and readies himself. “I like to be unorthodox. It’s part of the charm . That’s why I have fans.”
Sephiroth eyes him. “Fans won’t stop a sword from digging into your heart. Survival is not a popularity contest.”
“Yeah?”
Sephiroth springs forward, not allowing Zack the first move. It’s over again in seconds. Zack’s flat on his back. The sword that was in his now stinging fingers is five feet away. Masamune’s tip sits against his shirt, right above his pounding heart.
“Where are your fans right now?”
Zack smiles and forces himself to be still. “Right in front of me.”
Sephiroth’s eyes lock with his. Zack tries to breathe. He forgets everything except that he made a bad joke to a guy who had a sword over his chest. He lays back a little more, almost bears his neck, waits for the words to process. Sephiroth shakes his head and growls.
“Lucky for you.” The flat of the blade carefully taps his cheek. “Get up. Your form is a disgrace.”
Zack pushes up. “Okay, okay.”
“Good.”
They spend most of the day on the campground. Sephiroth is calm but steady. He teaches Zack because he likes to. The shadows of last night leave his eyes. This is almost work but it is still a vacation.
There is another thing going on. Probably a direct need from last night’s vulnerability.
An omega fighting an alpha and winning without any contest.
It’s a reassurance to Sephiroth. His personality starts to come back, strong and persistent, the more he knocks Zack to the dirt. Thankfully, Zack is completely fine with it. Honestly, he likes it. Sephiroth’s strength is incredible.
Sephiroth’s scent hasn’t shown up yet. It’s generic and they have both agreed that is fine. Zack has been surprised. He’s always supposed in the quiet moments that Sephiroth didn’t care, that he was tolerating him.
But as they haul their stuff back, Zack takes a moment to pay attention. Sephiroth’s face is neutral, Masamune sheathed, dirt across his face with a bag of empty water bottles. His eyes are straight ahead, looking at the trees. Zack would have considered this boring of him.
But now he does a thing he can’t always do, he steps in an inch closer and tracks down Sephiroth’s scent.
The glands have calmed down. It’s there but nothing is overworking like before. It’s a hint in the air, sweet and calm. It reminds him of the breeze on a beach, nondescript but warm. The scent reads omega and is like a magnet to him. It makes Zack run up, throw an arm around his shoulder and bury his head in his neck. Sephiroth barely pauses. The bottles click against each other and then he’s hauling them both up the hill.
He’s happy. Nine times out of ten, every time he thought that Sephiroth was bored with him, he’s been like this, simply basking in the closeness, no words needed. All those small worries about not filling the silence disappear. Sephiroth likes it. They can be quiet together. Zack doesn’t always have to entertain. He’s enough as is.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Zack,” Sephiroth says as they turn on the path, heading slowly back to the house.
“I know.” Zack closes his eyes, stumbling along the path. His heart is so warm. Everything is so right at this moment and it is all going to go away. It makes him suck in his breath and try to focus on something else.
“Seph.”
“Zack.”
“What do I smell like?”
Sephiroth stops walking and Zack can feel him shift to look at him, “Don’t you know?”
Zack sets his chin on his shoulder and tries again, adding an edge of pleading in there for good measure, “Fine. What do I smell like to you ?”
Sephiroth studies him. “You smell like an alpha covered in sweat and dirt. You need a shower, or a lay, or possibly both.”
He sputters at the abruptness of the truth but doesn’t take it. “Come on. You know what I am talking about.”
Sephiroth's jaw locks and then he gives in. “It’s like wood.”
“I smell like printer paper.”
Sephiroth pulls away from him. “No, not like that, it’s sweeter, not as deep as other alphas, more fresh, mossy, grounded, but also like a cut orange, complex but simple.”
Zack tries to think through all that. He really tries.
“That’s the most confusing thing you’ve ever told me.”
Sephiroth blows out a breath and turns away. “Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. It belongs to you.”
Sephiroth is further up the road before Zack realizes he’s frozen, wondering how he could be like oranges, the ground and printer paper all at once.
“Come on, Seph, try again.” He runs the path. The sword bumps against his back. The shoes scuff against the trail.
“You are like a dog with a bone. It’s impossible, Zackary, I can’t.” Sephiroth’s words are honest but tense.
“One more try.”
His face is forward, hidden as Sephiroth waves a hand at him. “You smell safe. There is no way to describe that. It is one of those things that just is.”
“Safe?” That stops Zack’s feet. His chest clenches with emotion.
“You smell safe,” Sephiroth says, walking forward without him.
Zack can’t comprehend it. His brain stutters over the words. Sephiroth just admitted to something much stronger than attraction.
“Oh fuck,” Zack whispers to himself.
That’s bonded talk.
“Let’s get back.”
He sprints to catch up.
#
It’s the last day before Sephiroth has to start taking the inhibitor that Zack notices the full extent of how much color in his life is going to disappear. Sephiroth goes quiet. Anxiety touches both of them and puts Zack on edge. The house seems small, expensive, fragile.
It’s another day in the woods.
Well, actually, it’s the last day like this, who knew what getting back on the inhibitor would do to Sephiroth.
Zack’s pockets are sagging with interesting rocks. Sephiroth keeps stopping to look at trees. They talk about everything that they have to do when they get back. They don’t say when they get home. Neither one of them feels right with the term and Midgar. Zack’s closer to calling their apartment his home but Sephiroth barely touches the place.
“Zack,” Sephiroth calls as Zack kicks at a large rock, trying to get a piece off. “Come here.”
“You figure it out?” He trudges back over. His brain tries to perk up but he ignores it for once. He needs to try to get used to the idea that Sephiroth just won’t be there like this much longer.
“I want you to identify it,” Sephiroth says and hands over the book before Zack can say anything.
Zack pauses. “Seph.”
“I’ve bookmarked three options.”
“Why?”
“Because this tree has special meaning.”
Zack’s hands go sweaty. It’s a tree. It looks like all the other trees. This is one tree in a forest of trees. Why is he being tortured this way? Sephiroth directs his attention to the page that it is open to. He starts talking, pointing out things. He’s so nervous at this task that if Sephiroth had said, “this tree is purple”, Zack would have said that he was colorblind.
Sephiroth is persistent. He points out the bark, the leaves, the way the tree grows. Zack starts to see it. He feels less crazy as he pulls down a branch to look at the leaves. The three options turn to two. Crossing one off feels important. It takes him more flipping back and forth to narrow it down.
“It’s a rowan tree.”
“Yes.”
He is right. The satisfaction of that rolls over him. It clicks in him so much that he almost wishes he would take his sword and carve that identification in.
“These trees are supposed to represent being strong, courageous, and protective. This tree represents you.” Sephiroth brings Zack in close, tucks his head over his. “Thank you for this.”
Zack’s emotions get the better of him. He wanted to do right. He has done right. This is a thank you. Sephiroth doesn’t say a lot of words but he means the words that he says. This is a real thank you and a compliment rolled into one bewildering sentence. Every word that Zack can think to say sounds useless and dumb compared to the elegance and blindsiding nature of what has happened.
His throat closes up. Zack comes in, dragging the body as close as he can, probably using more strength than necessary. Sephiroth doesn’t just allow it, he presses forward into him. Zack’s nose is buried in his neck, so much so that it should be gross but neither one of them cares.
He’s drowning in the happiness and sadness of his scent. He knows. He understands it all, everything they have accomplished and how much they are just about to let go. He goes to kiss him and it catches in the back of his throat. Something else is there, vanilla, cider, calm, soft, strong, Sephiroth .
Zack chokes then, tears spilling over.
And Sephiroth holds him even closer.