Archive of Our Own

She's back again, as usual.

It's been a little over four months since she first came into his tea shop. Sunset hair, cheeky smile, round amber orbs looking around curiously before lighting up when she found something interesting on the menu.

"What can I get for you?" He approaches her with what he thinks is the same disinterested look he usually gives his other customers. His mom used to tease him that he'll go out of business soon if Levi won't warm up a little bit.

However, there must be something about this girl for him to actually stutter a bit with his question.

"What's your bestseller?"

"Tea latte," he tries to avoid scoffing at that. He's not entirely fond of adding milk in tea but well, they do sell well. He can keep his personal preferences to himself.

The woman hums in acknowledgement. "Anything else?"

He blinks. This is the first time a young woman like her didn't jump into just ordering tea latte.

"Almost everything's at the same level." He shrugs.

"How about you?"

"What about me?"

"What's your personal favorite?"

He frowns. He doesn't have time for this. "Why would you want to know what I like?"

"Well, I'm thinking if it's your favorite then you'd make it quite well."

"Black tea," he answers, indulging her curiosity.

"Great! I'd like to try them." He hands over to her the menu of all the available black teas, patiently waiting for her to decide between the Assam, Darjeeling, or Ceylon variants.

Weird brat.

Sometimes she comes in with three men who have the same uniform as hers. They're all way too rowdy for Levi's tastes, placing bets and one man with curly brown hair in particular (that Levi thinks is the oldest) always boasts about his achievements.

It's enough to give Levi a headache that will last him for the whole week. A part of him would be tempted to kick them all out if it wouldn't risk offending the ginger woman.

Most times though, she comes alone. He feels like a goddamn creep because he often finds his gaze straying way too long as she sits alone to either read or write, a pinky subconsciously raising as she takes a drink from her teacup.

During those days when she visits without company, she would always be the last to leave the tea shop with a grateful smile thrown his way before she walks out the door.

But there were some moments when her light dims. He'd watch as she zones out staring at her still untouched teacup, clouded amber eyes watching the swirling liquid as she seems to stir her cup endlessly.

This is the third time he'd seen her like this and Levi feels something rise in him. Not understanding why he even cares in the first place, he decides to fuel his annoyance instead.

"Oi, I brewed that extra carefully today. Don't waste it."

That snaps her out of whatever storm was brewing in her mind. She looks around her surroundings, probably realizing that she's the only one left in the tea shop.

"I'm sorry," she starts. Her voice sounds as dead as her eyes, a stark contrast to the usually chirpy way she places her order. "I'm just not myself today."

Levi nods, taking in her uniform.

"You in the military?"

He kicks himself. Isn't that already obvious?

"Scout Regiment," she answers solemnly.

No surprise then. Since his tea shop was just a few blocks away from the Scouts' main headquarters in Trost, Levi is no stranger to seeing the haunted looks on the soldiers' faces. Afternoon tea often turns to full-out bawling whenever he serves this crazy bunch. Levi lost count of the times he had to scold a few younger soldiers for accidentally breaking some teacups as they tried to drink with shaking hands.

Since the first time he saw them lining up on the gate when he was nine, he'd always wondered what they see beyond the walls.

It must be one hell of a sight to see if they're all willing to lay their lives down for it.

The scouts just came back early this afternoon and even Levi, for all his time spent cooped up in his tea shop, was even aware of how they're significantly lesser than when they departed that morning.

"I should go," she breaks the silence after she'd finished her cup. "Thank you for the tea. I hope I didn't go beyond your closing time."

He doesn't tell her that closing time was already 30 minutes ago.

Levi just quietly shakes his head in response and goes back to his previous task sweeping the floor. How do you even approach a woman who's on the verge of crying?

As usual, he just watches her go. He goes to pick up the teacup she left and sees a white cloth—a handkerchief, he realizes—on the seat instead. It has floral patterns and a yellow lining, but what caught his attention was the yellow text embroidered on one side.

Petra

She's more upbeat when she entered his shop a few days later.

"You left this, by the way." He hands over the handkerchief to her. He washed it that same night she left it and not knowing when she'll be back, he'd carried it around in his pocket. It'll be easier to hand over that way, instead of leaving it somewhere in his and his mom's living quarters above the tea shop.

"Oh, thank you Levi," she smiles up to him from her seat and he just blinks down at her.

"How did you know my name?"

Petra giggles, tapping a finger just below her collarbone.

Oh right. He always forgot his name tag. He didn't want one before but his mother always insisted that it would make him look more approachable.

They'd only talked a handful of times. Now that he thinks about it, they only talked three times excluding the moments when he takes her order.

The first time was the usual bullshit small talk about the weather. Still, he's glad that it's beyond just what's on the menu.

The second time, she complimented the new tea he introduced. He felt pride flutter through him, having spent all night before experimenting and brewing.

The third time was when she eagerly munched on the buttermilk biscuits he served. She seems like an adventurous foodie, always trying different offers. What he finds amusing is that she prioritizes new teas and pastries on the menu.

He finds himself experimenting with different types of glazing for the buttermilk biscuits over the weekend.

Now, Levi watches his regular customer as she writes. She'd sometimes pause, brows furrowed in contemplation, before vigorously writing down again. Her face lights up with a smile once in a while as if remembering something.

He definitely prefers this to when she looked a little more than a walking corpse.

He's just not getting the hint.

She tried visiting every single day for the past four months. She even went as far as leaving her stupid handkerchief, hoping that it will spark a longer conversation between them once he returns it.

But no. A week since she 'accidentally' left her hanky, he still kept to himself as she stays up late until the closing time. He'd just wipe the tables while Petra makes some attempt at small talk.

'Humid weather, huh?'

'Yeah.'

'I liked the new tea, by the way.'

'Okay.'

'The buttermilk biscuits were great!'

'Good.'

Honestly, sometimes she's close to just saying, 'Hey, want to make out in the broom closet?' Maybe that would gauge an actual reaction from him.

So Petra decides to take drastic measures. It's a bit late into the evening and as usual, Petra is the last one in the tea shop. It's a Saturday night and she noticed that the server's schedule changes during the weekend. Instead of sweeping as he usually does, he's grinding a few herbs and adding them in different cups. Petra allows her eyes to trace the muscles in his upper arm contracting with each twist.

His back was against the counter and she takes that moment to approach him.

"What are you doing?" The cup in Levi's hand almost slips as Petra comes up behind him.

"What the fuck?" He snaps at her.

To Petra's credit, she did have the decency to blush and feel ashamed for just sneaking up on him. "I'm sorry. I was just wondering."

Levi glares at her for a bit before sighing and indulging her question.

"I'm creating new tea blends. Can't offer the same shit if you want customers to keep coming back."

Petra doesn't leave her spot, just watching him move through the flowers, herbs, mortars, and pestles scattered in front of him.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? It's late."

She shakes her head. "The week after an expedition is a bit slow. Gives us the chance to rest."

And grieve.

The room goes quiet again as Levi ignores her to focus on his task. A part of her feels guilty for bothering him, but she knows she won't be able to sleep another night if she can't at least befriend the guy.

"Do you need help?" Petra finally asks.

When Petra approached him and asked him if he needed help, she was actually hoping to ask him out on a date.

What she got in return are weekly tea-making lessons and her helping him with the shop after closing time.

"Uh... Yeah. Can you get me that twine over there?"

Petra almost squealed in delight. This was the first time he actually replied to her that goes beyond clipped single words.

"Sure!" She reaches for the bundle of twine and sets it in front of him. "What is it for? The twine?"

Levi looks at her briefly before nodding at the mix of flowers and herbs that were newly washed but are still to be touched.

"I need to air dry them." Levi gives her a demo, bundling some of the freshly-washed herbs together and tying them all up together. He then proceeds to another room, gesturing for her to follow him, and hangs the bundled herbs upside down from a wooden piece on the wall.

"That seems easy enough to do," she chirped. "Can I help?"

He gives her another strange look again before shrugging.

"Wash your hands first."

They've set a routine since then. She tries to come in during the weekdays, drinking tea until closing time and asking him if he needs help with anything. Fridays were mostly reserved for experimenting with new tea flavors.

She'd help with drying the herbs, sometimes even coming back into the shop with new seeds that he can plant in the mini garden he had on the second floor. He briefly mentioned that he grows and harvests them all on his own, and she inwardly swooned at how soft and domestic it all feels. A huge contrast to his intimidating demeanor.

She didn't mind that her first attempt to ask him out failed. To be honest, this is heaps better than the awkward romantic dates she'd went to in the past.

Eventually, their tea-making activities evolved to actually drinking tea together.

It started with weekly taste tests of his new tea offers. He said that she'd be perfect because he noticed that she was always willing to try something new from the shop. But Petra said that she's not comfortable drinking tea while he just watches her like a hawk.

"Let's drink them together!" She pats the table. "Sit with me."

"I..." Levi blinks at her request.

"Please?" She asks, then smiles widely when he acquiesced and slid in the seat in front of her. Petra laughs at the grumpy look on his face. "Come on, Levi. We're basically friends now. Friends hang out together, you know? "

She was just met with a blank look. Petra blinks back.

"Don't tell me that you don't have any friends, Levi."

"I spent the last 15 years of my life working for almost 20 hours a day, brat." He shrugs and Petra smiles, used to his tendency to give nicknames. "Didn't leave much time to socialize."

No wonder he seems awkward and reserved. Petra's heart clenches, thinking of a world wherein she didn't have friends like Oluo, Gunther and Eld to support her.

It must've been so isolating for Levi.

"Well, I'm here now." She said before she boldly takes his hand in hers. That made Levi jerk a bit in shock. Probably not used to touch too.

He only clicks his tongue in return with that signature 'tch', but never moves his hand away as they taste each new blend together.

Petra finally meets Levi's mother a few weeks later. He always talked about her but Petra had never seen her at all. She does know that there's a person on the second floor since she often hears someone moving around.

She learns that his mother is almost bedridden due to a pulmonary disease, and that's why she rarely goes down and is almost always asleep during the early evenings when Petra visits.

She didn't expect a meet and greet today.

"I'll just drop by the market before they close since I need to pick up a few ingredients," Levi tells her one day a few minutes before the shop's closing time. "Think you can wait here? I'll be back in 30 minutes."

"Go ahead! I still need to catch up on my replies to my dad's letters."

The moment Levi left the door, an older woman suddenly pops up from the staircase.

"You must be Petra!" She gushes. Petra, not expecting someone in the store at this hour, accidentally spilled ink all over the letter she's writing.

"Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shock you. Let me help you with that." The woman then moves to the kitchen, maybe to find a rug, and Petra follows her.

"No, it's alright!" She smiles at the older woman. Once Petra finished cleaning the spilled black ink, she pulls a chair to ask the woman to sit.

She's pretty, Petra thinks. Medium-length black hair that falls to just below her shoulders, slanted eyes littered with a few wrinkles in the corner, porcelain skin that's bordering to an unhealthy pale, and a regal pointed nose. She seems so elegant, and Petra thinks she'd seen her before.

It takes her a few more seconds to realize why she looks so familiar. She's the spitting image of Levi.

"I'm Kuchel."

"You're Levi's mom!" Petra beams as Kuchel nods, suddenly cupping the younger woman's face with both hands. Petra lets out a breath in surprise but feels warm at the eager welcome from the older woman.

"No wonder my son is so smitten," Kuchel continues to gush. "You're so beautiful. Kind and sweet too, from what I hear."

"Levi talks about me?"

"He pretends he doesn't," Kuchel said, leaning forward conspiratorially. "But whenever we have breakfast together, it's always 'That crazy ginger soldier's back again.' or 'Petra liked the way the oolong tea was brewed today.'"

A warm blush starts to spread across the younger woman's face, relieved that at least Levi sees her as more than someone who just helps him during closing time.

"Can you... can you tell me more about him?" She asks Kuchel. "He rarely talks about himself."

Half an hour later, Levi comes back to Petra and his mother hunched over an array of his baby pictures scattered all over the table.

"Oh, I remember this one! Levi is a very shy baby." Kuchel points to a portrait of the two of them, her standing in a flowy white dress while baby Levi hides his face on her shoulder. "The artist almost gave up on us!"

"Mom, please."

Both women ignore him as Kuchel moves to another portrait, this time it's of a 9-year-old Levi frowning.

"He'd always been a grumpy little boy," His mom continues.

"I didn't expect you'd have chubby cheeks Levi," Petra said, one of his portraits in hand.

"You've never introduced her to me, Levi." Kuchel reaches up to pinch his cheek, earning a groan from her son as he shakes her away. "I thought it's high time I met her."

"I would." Levi grits out. "But you're forgetting that you have a messed up body clock, mom. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Okay, okay, I'll back off for now." Kuchel laughs lightly, reading her son's statement as 'You're starting to embarrass me'. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit. I need to start on dinner anyway."

She flashes Petra a smile, then threw her son a knowing look before disappearing into the kitchen.

Levi shakes his head, knowing that scolding her to rest would only fuel the woman more.

And he knows that look—it's another one of her matchmaking attempts. She'd always pestered him about it, saying 'Levi, you're almost 30! At least bless your mother with some grandchildren before she kicks the bucket.'

Unfortunately, he'd always be weak for whatever his mother desires. She deserves happiness more than anyone, and he'd let this slip for now. He sighs then, turning to Petra.

"My mom will be making pumpkin soup. She's pretty proud of her recipe." Levi said, eyes rolling but Petra can definitely hear how his voice lit up with fondness. "Would you like to stay for dinner—"

"Would you like to stay forever?" Kuchel cheerfully calls out from the kitchen and she's sure she can see the vein in Levi's temple throb. He pinches the bridge of his nose in embarrassment and frustration.

Petra laughs out loud in amusement. "I'd love to, Levi."

"Wait."

Petra stops walking upon hearing the familiar voice. The scouts have already assembled near the gate and since she woke up late, of course she'd be the last one to catch up with her team.

"Levi?" This was a strange sight. While Levi always wishes her good luck and a 'Don't die' the night before each expedition, he never actually sees her off. Understandable because he needed to get a headstart on the tea shop's morning rush.

She feels giddy seeing him right now, in his adorable dark green apron, no less.

"Here." He hurriedly, almost shyly, pushes a small tin can into her hands.

"What's this?" The tin can feels warm on her palm, and she smells something freshly baked emanating beneath the lid. She opens it and finds five pieces of cookies inside.

"It's the newest offer in the shop. Just made it last night. Thought you'd get first taste since you seem willing to starve yourself on every expedition."

Petra's heart flutters at the fact that Levi even remembered that story. It was one of her first few expeditions and one of the titans destroyed two of the carts that contained their food supply. Petra opted to not get her share that night to make way for the younger recruits.

"You're so sweet, Levi." She said, leaning a bit up to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Whatever. I just need your opinion if they're good enough to sell or if they're better as dog shit." He gives a tch sound, eyes shifting away in embarrassment after she pulls away.

"I'm sure they'll be great."

A moment passed between them, with Petra taking this time to look at his face just in case this would be the last time.

"Petra! We're heading out." Oluo calls out to her and she notices that more scouts have gathered near the gate now. That snaps her out from drowning even further into his grey-blue eyes, and she slips the tin can in the saddlebag mounted on her horse.

"You'll tell me, right?" Levi abruptly asks before she can even turn around. "If the cookies are shit, I mean."

A simple question, but Petra knows what it really meant.

You'll come back, right?

"Of course."

She barely makes it back.

He had a sinking feeling when he woke up that morning to see her off. Maybe that's why he made extra effort to try and catch her before she left. Instead of waiting for her to come to his tea shop that night, he found himself closing early and hurrying to the gate when he heard the bells chime.

He couldn't find Petra anywhere, and she was usually easy to spot because of her eccentric hair color.

"She's in one of the carts," Blonde Man Bun—he remembers Petra calling him Eld—speaks up to appease him. "They say she'll live but she needs medical attention as soon as possible."

For all his attempts to seem neutral and collected, he feels something inside him break at the urgency of Petra's condition.

Despite his often passive face and stoic demeanour, Levi Ackerman had felt a lot of emotions throughout his life.

Joy and excitement when his 8-year-old self first saw the world beyond what he knows in the murky and dead streets of the underground. It was also the first time he'd met his uncle, Kenny, and his mother told him that he they never had to go back to their dirty room in the whorehouse ever again.

Desperation as he tries to grip a knife properly in an attempt to please Kenny. Kuchel had been against it, and Levi had to sit through hours of fighting between his mom and uncle.

Aching sadness and betrayal when he realizes that it's been weeks and his uncle is never coming back. Kuchel had no choice but to hug her 10-year-old son whenever he asks where Kenny is. Sure, the man had been tough—oftentimes being downright abusive—when it comes to training him, but Levi had always longed for a father figure. Of course he'd latched on to the bastard.

Anger when his mother had to sell herself again, in the surface, just to put food on his table three times a day. He was 12 years old, and using everything Kenny taught him when he was younger, he almost killed the man after he'd manhandled his mother into her room.

"It's okay, Levi." His mother said back then, and suddenly he was back to the closet in the underground, his 4-year-old self listening to his mom cry out in pain and shame. The only difference is that he now has his own room where he could hide until morning. Doesn't change the fact that a man was taking advantage of his mother in their own home.

He realized then that men in the surface were as fucked up and vile as the ones in the underground.

Determination when he got his first job at 14, a tad bit fearful that his mother might discover that he willingly went through child labor, but he knows that this is the first step for him to truly free her from the nightly hell she endures.

Grief when the doctor informed him of his mother's disease, and that her body is basically a ticking time bomb. Cupping both of his cheeks, his mother had told him that everything will be okay. Still, that doesn't stop him from working harder than before, especially since he was already of legal age back then. He never did attempt anything illegal, despite the number of opportunities and the skills Kenny left him that he can leverage, not willing to risk it when his mother could be easily dragged down with him.

Pride as his 27-year-old self opens the door to a dilapidated property—the best he could afford—to start his tea shop after working his ass of for more than a decade. His mother cried as he handed her the key, telling her that they didn't need to rent another shitty apartment because the 2nd floor of the tea shop can be their home instead.

But this is the first time he'd yearned for something. For someone.

This is the first time he eagerly anticipates someone's return. The first time he's looking forward to hear laughter reverberating throughout his tea shop as he tells another crude joke. The first time he's actually looking forward to someone talking his ears off, when he'd made it a habit in the past to silence anyone who attempted a conversation with just a cold glare.

In all his 30 years, he thought he'd seen and experienced it all. Meeting this crazy scout soldier just slapped him with the realization that he was missing out on a lot. A part of him recoils in disgust at himself because he's ten years her senior. A bright 20-year-old woman like her would probably be able to do better. She's in the Special Operations Squad, for crying out loud. And she achieved such a feat at a young age, no less.

This is also the first time he feels dread that's shrouded with desperation.

As he looks at her now, he's having a hard time reconciling with the fact that the young woman who'd walk into his tea shop with a vibrant smile is the same one lying prone and dead to the world on the infirmary bed right now.

Petra was transferred from the Scout Regiment's infirmary to a bigger hospital in Trost. This gave Levi more visiting hours, but it also means that Petra's condition is worse than they thought. She's been in a coma for close to a week now, and he'd tried visiting everyday. He owes her that much, with how she tries to support him almost every night after he closes his shop.

Over the weekend, he rarely left the corridor leading to her hospital room since she had been wheeled in. He'd go back home once in a while to check in on his mother, but other than that, he'd basically camped outside her room for two days straight.

He inwardly cringes at the loss of two days' worth of profit, but he doubts he'll be able to concentrate anyway. And with her fellow scouts' busy schedule and her dad living in another district, he'd taken over the responsibility of overseeing her recovery.

Monday rolled in and Petra didn't even blink. As much as he wants to stay, he runs a tea shop for a reason. He had to push himself out of her hospital door, his feet dragging with every step he took. They're hitting the two-week mark now, and the doctors assured him that coma patients can take weeks before waking up, with severe cases going for more than five weeks.

Until her squad leader, Eld, knocked on his store and told him that Petra's awake.

Eld came in during the lunch hour rush and Levi had to keep himself from just dropping everything. The hours ticked by slowly, and he found his eyes always shifting to the front door with every order he delivered to a customer.

Closing time rolled in and Levi sprinted.

"You're too fucking reckless!" was the first thing that came out of his mouth when he sees her sitting up on her hospital bed.

He was notified that she got her injury after saving another scout from getting eaten. Her ODM gear's wires were stepped on by a titan, catapulting her head first to a tree nearby.

"Levi," Petra breathes out, eyes already tearing up at the sight of him. He was about to launch on a mini-tirade on how she should value her life more, on how she needs to gain some sense of self-preservation.

But he's honestly just relieved to see that she's okay. He feels all the tension, all the distress drain from him as Petra drags him down and wraps her arms tightly around his back.

"I thought I'll never see you again," he murmurs softly against her shoulder.

A month after her head injury and Petra's already up and about, mood as chirpy and vibrant as if she didn't almost turn into a vegetable.

Yeah, all scouts are just fucked up in the head, Levi thinks.

They're back in their usual closing time routine, but he feels as if there's something... different with their friendship. Stares were longer, friendly pats became soft caresses, and she'd even started cuddling up to him.

That one made his brain short-circuit. Also shot down to his dick, but that's a matter he'd been able to solve every night in the privacy of his own room.

He's inexperienced with relationships but he's not stupid. He's just praying to whoever deity that would listen that he's not misreading the signs.

But it's not like he'd even have the guts to take a step, anyway. So yeah, maybe he is doomed to spend the rest of his days a grumpy and lonely man.

When they're not creating new tea blends, they would do market runs to see if there are new ingredients they could experiment with.

"Stop being a brat and pointing at everything," Levi tells her. "You're going to make me broke."

"Hey, I'm just doing what's best for your shop," she sassed him, tapping his hand so he'll open the tote bag for her to drop another bar of cocoa in. Not exactly a must for a tea shop but Levi just sighs.

Their shopping needed to be cut short when they felt a light drizzle, then heavy drops of rain immediately poured. Levi, being the neat freak he is, is not about to allow water to get into his shoes. Either Petra wraps up with her haggling or he's going to drag her away.

Levi ends up doing the latter, grabbing the back of her collar and finding a spot they can take cover in.

"Hey! I wasn't done."

"Just come back another day."

30 minutes in and the rain hasn't even calmed down. He taps his foot impatiently, glaring at the other people who also took cover from the rain in the closed shop stall they're in.

"We can just make a run for it, you know?" Petra suggests, also getting bored. Makes sense since his place was just a few blocks away.

"Fuck no. You're going to wash my clothes if—"

He doesn't even get the chance to continue as Petra grabs his hand and tugs him forward to run. He fumes at the nerve of this woman, but finds his throat closing up in awe as he watches her giggle and light up despite the gloomy weather they're trying to escape from.

"Last one to the shop will have to say yes to the other's demands for a whole week!" she teases, unfairly getting a headstart as she continues to run.

Adrenaline rises up in Levi, his own lips quirking up in a smirk.

"You're underestimating me, Ral."

Petra's laughter reverberated through the empty streets as they chase each other down. Even Levi couldn't help but let out a chuckle once in awhile, especially when Petra almost slips a few times.

They reach the store almost at the same time, with Levi more on the winning side but Petra just keeps playfully pulling him back by his shirt. He can't even find the will to get mad at the mud inside his shoes and how drenched he is, and he'd smirk every time Petra would be all pissy at how fast he is.

"That was fun!" She exclaims the moment they stumble into the shop.

"You're going to wash my clothes for a whole week for pulling this shit."

He nudges her to just wait in a corner, offering her a set of clothes because he's not about to allow her to get sick, especially with an expedition scheduled in a few days.

"Here, they're my mom's clothes," he said, extending a pink cotton pile to her. Petra was still giggling, high off from their little attempt—albeit failed—to escape the rain. He faces the other way, giving her the chance to change into warmer clothing and trying so hard to ignore the rustle of wet fabric behind him.

"You can turn around now," she said a minute later.

Her voice was quiet, a huge contrast to her giggles before, and he almost doesn't hear her with the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the store's glass window.

A part of Levi feels weird at the thought of seeing her in his mother's dress, but he still turns around—

And finds her wearing nothing at all.

Levi blinks, stupefied. Her drenched clothes were pooled at her feet while the ones he handed over to her were neatly forgotten on the table next to her.

He thought it was a mistake at first—maybe she was still high from the adrenaline, or maybe she really is just weird like that since a lot of the scouts are true nutcases—but when Petra shyly meets his eyes, smile as bashful and cheeks red in anticipation, he couldn't help himself but take a step forward.

He visibly swallows, throat bobbing as his eyes trail from her round amber orbs down her naked form still glistening from the rain they charged into. Petra's hands were clasped in front of her, which only served to push her breasts up further without her meaning to.

Fuck, she's gorgeous. Why she thinks a 30-year-old grumpy man like him deserves to see such a sight, he'll never know.

He can feel something lower throbbing and rising fast, and he cursed his wet clothes since it's only a matter of time before she realizes her effect on him.

Not that they'd ever been any less open about their attraction to each other, even if they'd never addressed it head on. Petra had always shown her affection through touch, a shy attempt at handholding by hooking their pinkies together during their weeknight market runs or a kiss on the cheek to lighten the frown on his face, and Levi had always been eager to accept it.

"Is this okay?" Her sweet voice cuts the silence between them and Levi can only nod dumbly. He'd forced his eyes back up, not wanting to creep her out by staring at her breasts too much. The dim lighting in his store only further accentuated the eroticism of the moment.

Knowing that he won't take the first step, Petra moves to grab on to the front pocket of his apron and tugs him even closer to her. His heart started to beat wilder, feeling her bare nipples grazing his chest and the fact that his clothes were also wet meant that he can feel everything.

He timidly cups her cheek, thumb brushing against a cheekbone. He can see the flecks in her eyes this close, lashes framing how round and bright they are. Petra takes this moment to untie and discard his tea shop apron and to slide her own hands up the muscles on his abdomen, effectively also pushing up his wet shirt.

"Is this your own crazy streak?" He asks, dryly, mind starting to numb at the feel of her fingers tracing his skin still wet from the rain. "You said all scouts have them, right? Didn't expect exhibitionism is your thing."

That draws out a sparkling laugh from the woman in front of him.

"Just kiss me, Levi," she breathes out, soft lips tracing along the sharp line of his jaw.

And he does, hands hooking below her bare ass to set her on top of the countertop behind her while Petra eagerly shoves her tongue into his lips.

"This is the very first omni-directional mobility gear ever created," Petra said while pointing to a glass display.

Levi had been to the different military museums and call him biased, but the Scouts' are the most interesting. Probably owing to the fact that their main purpose is to discover new shit beyond the walls. The fact that there's no crowd makes it even better.

He listens to Petra as she babbles on about each part of the gear, talking animatedly about all the other moves she was able to experiment with and manage. It took a turn when she suddenly smirked.

"I personally think it's the reason why I'm quite flexible." Petra adds nonchalantly, eyes glinting playfully. "Just in general, that is."

"I have to thank your ODM gear then," Levi replies, hands on her hips while she throws her arms around his neck. Levi tugs her closer, leaning down to give her a kiss when a new voice ruins the moment.

"Giving tours now, Petra?"

"Commander Erwin!" Petra moves away from Levi and hurriedly salutes the taller man. Levi doesn't really know the protocol for meeting your girlfriend's superior so he just stands there.

"At ease, Ral. I was just passing by to get a few documents from the archive." Erwin nods, giving them both a smile before extending his hand to Levi. "You must be Levi. Petra mentioned you a few times."

Levi gives a curt nod, accepting the handshake. "Yes. Levi Ackerman."

"Ackerman?" Erwin repeats, a brow twitching up a bit in interest. He doesn't understand why that gauged a reaction from the commander but he still nods. Erwin looks at him a bit longer and Levi is starting to feel like he's a fucking display in this military museum with each passing second.

"Well, I musn't keep you two then." Erwin finally replies, giving them one last smile. "Nice to meet you, Levi."

"He's a weird dude." Levi whispers to Petra once he thinks Erwin's out of earshot.

Petra just shrugs. "Must be a requirement if you're a Scout commander."

Weeks turned to months and transitioning from friendship to being an actual couple was almost seamless for them. Sometimes, he'd feel like they'd been together for years.

He'd have to admit that navigating their relationship was a struggle at first. He'd get pissed whenever she comes home with an injury, mostly because he can't do anything about it. She'd snap at him that it's a small price to pay as long as they take a step forward to free humanity.

So reckless. So selfless.

He doesn't think it'll get any easier as long as she's a scout, and he doesn't even dream of a day when she quits. Fighting against titans is one of the things that make Petra, Petra.

They'd have desperate sex on nights before each expedition. Sometimes it's urgent. Other times, melancholy tinges the air and all they're in the mood for is just to be near each other.

"Promise me you'll come back tomorrow," he almost pleads as he thrusts slowly inside her, savoring the moment.

"I promise I'll think of you, Levi," was the only reply she could always give.

Most of those nights, he decides not to even sleep just so he can stare at her the whole night, embedding the image of her messy sunset hair and rosy cheeks still flushed from their afterglow, just in case it's the last time. She'd eventually crawl out of his bed at 4 am to go back to the barracks and prepare for the day ahead.

Those mornings when he wakes up alone and realize that Petra's set out to leave Wall Rose once again were a different kind of hell.

He finds that he can't even focus on work until she's back in the late afternoon. He'd serve the customers with a vacant look—not like they'd notice the difference anyway since his regulars knew him as the silent and reclusive tea shop server.

On the next expedition, he sighs in relief that she only had a few scratches on her. Since that mission where she almost died a few months ago, it became a habit for him to welcome her back every time.

The moment she sees him in the crowd, she'd always throw herself on him, hugging him tightly and never caring about the spectators may they be civilian or scout soldier. The first few times was awkward but he eventually found himself hugging her back in relief that she made it through.

"What a girl, huh?" Four Eyes—excuse him, Hange—would elbow him teasingly and he'd just shrug them off in return. Petra introduced them to him once—and he had decided then and there that he's not allowing this mad bitch to go back to his tea shop ever again. Sales be damned.

He's there as the townspeople hurdle insults at the scouts with each return. He watches as their regiment continue to dwindle in numbers, and he forces his mind to stop thinking of what it would be like to eventually scan the crowd and realize that the Survey Corps has one less red-haired soldier.

Seasons passed and by the time their first year anniversary rolled in, Levi was able to save enough for something big.

Well, it wasn't exactly of relevant size physically but it still did cost him a fuckton of money.

Petra's voice pulls him back to the present, almost vibrating in excitement as he keeps his hand over her eyes. "Oi, if you won't stop wriggling around I'm going to throw you back in the carriage and send you back home."

"Levi, you've been hinting at this for a week!" She retorts. "It's your fault for hyping me up."

He just kisses her cheek as a reply, before opening the door and pulling his hand away from her eyes.

Petra squeals and pride fills him as he watches her bounce around the hotel room in her excitement.

They both needed a break, but she deserves it more than anyone with how she spent almost all of her weeks training and guiding younger scouts. She'd sometimes stumble into his tea shop late in the evenings with bags in her eyes, muscles too sore for them to even make love despite wanting to.

The hotel he chose in Mitras was smack right in the middle of the city. He hates the pompous asses who live behind Wall Sina but he can't deny that the opulent architecture and the variety of leisure spots that lined the streets mean that there's a lot of things Petra can explore.

He's not much of the sightseeing type, but he knows how adventurous his girlfriend can get. Must be a scout thing.

Currently, his mind is on the Grand Canal their carriage passed by on their way to their hotel. He'd heard before that it's a major tourist spot and a gondola can be rented for an hour. It might be a great activity for the evening before the main event he had in mind.

Yeah, she'd like romantic shit like that.

"Levi, there's a bath tub!" she exclaims after opening another door, cutting him out of his thoughts. As he'd expected, Petra starts stripping. They've talked extensively about fucking on a bathtub since they've only ever done it in the shower.

"We just got here—" He gets cut off as she hungrily smashes her lips to his, pulling him into the lush bathroom.

Levi had never felt the weight of the ring in his pocket more than he does now. He'd been on edge throughout the gondola ride—he's not gonna lie that it was boring as fuck, but Petra was swooning through it all so he still thinks it's worth it—and now they're back to their hotel room for dinner.

He ordered room service, not wanting to be in a place full of people when he pops the question.

Levi had a full speech written down and ready. He'd rewritten, re-read, and memorized everything. He'd even rehearsed it in front of a goddamn mirror, and seeing himself recite it all makes him want to bang his head on the wall.

They've been friends for close to two years now, but they've only been in a relationship for a year. A part of him thinks that it's too soon, that maybe he'll just scare her away for wanting to move things along.

But he thinks that there will never be a perfect time.

He wants Petra. The thought of marriage never appealed to him before, but as with everything else, she'd changed the way he perceived things. He's sure she's the only one he'll want forever, and her being in the scouts means that whatever they have right now can be stolen away in just one afternoon.

He wants to make now count, and he hopes that she feels the same way.

Petra came out of the shower wrapped in a towel and hair dripping, confused to see him still in casual clothing despite being the first to finish refreshing himself up.

First fuck up of the night. He didn't even dress well.

"Why aren't you dressed up yet?" she asks as she dries her hair. "I thought we're going out for dinner?"

He never replies, and that's when she notices the food served on the dining area of their suite.

"I... uh...."

She cocks her head to the side, stepping closer to him. "Levi, are you okay?"

Wait, fuck. What do guys often do when they propose? He briefly recalls a play he attended before with his mother. There's a proposal scene where the hero went down on one knee in front of the leading lady.

He forgot about that too.

Levi just ends up pushing the small velvet box to her.

Petra blinks at item on her palm. While his face had slipped to his usual indifferent mask, he still watches her with anxiety agitating through his veins as she opens the box. He takes in her soft gasp, surprised amber orbs blowing wide.

"Levi..."

"Marry me."

The question was only met with silence. Petra's eyes take in the simple ring settled neatly in the box. He'd opted for something simple, a thin gold band with a small, inconspicuous diamond in the center.

Seconds ticked by and Levi is trying hard not to bolt out of the room.

Then she started crying.

He thought it was happy tears at first. He hoped it was. But her eyes were tinged with melancholy and trepidation, and Levi's blood went cold.

That's it then. She didn't want him.

Of course. She's young and barely even 22 years old. With a thriving military career.

Why would she want to spend the rest of her life with a 31-year-old man? He only has a tea shop that barely even gains enough revenue to show up for.

"I'm sorry," he said, shame and self-hatred starting to well up inside him. "Maybe it's too soon. I'm sorry."

"No! No, Levi." She reaches out to desperately take a hold of his hand. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not that."

"Yeah? Well, I can't really think of another reason, Petra." He snaps at her. Sadness, confusion, frustration. He'd always chalked it up to anger. Must be his fucked up childhood. "It's okay. I don't mind. Forget about it."

"Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe it's me?" He stops at her quiet words. "That the reason why I'm hesitant is because I'll just leave you a widower too soon?"

It has, and he kicks himself for not even realizing that it's actually a constant worry for Petra. Of course he'd always thought about her coming back alive from outside the Walls. He'd never considered how she feels about the people she'll leave behind if it really was her time.

"It's not a matter of if or when, Levi. It's how soon." She continues, letting out a shaky breath. "I've always been prepared for the possibility that I'm going to die young. And I'm sorry I dragged you along."

Guilt tinges her voice then, maybe only realizing now that she just doomed him to a broken heart since she was always the first one to make a move.

"I wouldn't change a thing." He cuts through the silence of the room and the turbulence of her thoughts.

"What?"

"You being a scout. The fucking heart attack you give me every time you line up with your team. All the injuries I have to nurse you back to health from." He expounded. "Hell, of course I didn't want them to happen, but I wouldn't change a thing about you."

She has to know, he encourages himself. Petra can be a soldier or a farm girl and he could care less. She has to know that he'd long since accepted that she dedicated herself to what the scouts are fighting for.

And she has to know that he's utterly devoted to her, no matter the choices she make.

"I—" He gulps, voice soft with his next words. "I love you, Petra. I'd rather be there until the end than to have never talked to you at all."

Petra lets out a sob, smiling tearfully as she allows him to slip the ring on her finger.

"Do you have everything you need?" It's early in the morning and he's walking Petra and her horse to where the scouts are gathering in front of the gate.

"Levi, stop fussing around like a mother hen. I'm fine."

"That's what you said last time, brat." He chides. "Then you forgot to refill your gas tank. If I was your squad leader, I would've kicked your ass."

Petra chuckles. "Probably send me to latrine duty too, I'm guessing?"

"Tch. You bet."

"Well, then I'm glad you're my fiance and not my captain or something." Petra hooks her arm around his as they continue walking.

Fiance. His heart still flutters whenever he hears the word. The title fits damn good if you ask him.

He ruffles her hair affectionately, stopping once they're closer to the assembly. He leans down, ready to give her a kiss but it seems her Scout superiors just like interrupting his time with Petra.

"If it isn't the happy couple!" Levi groans at the voice. Hange strolls over to them, hooking their arm around Levi's neck. "Congratulations, Levi! Petra dearest here showed us the ring."

"Get off me." He shrugs away from her with a glare.

Hange only laughs. "Grumpy as usual. Say Petra, what did you even see in this gremlin?"

"He has his moments," Petra smiles up to him cheekily.

"Petra, do you think we'll see abnormals in this expedition?" A crazy glint flashes through their eyes. "Maybe you can help me catch one! You've always been a good sport about it."

"There's already one close by," Levi deadpans staring straight at Hange, shaking his head when they start asking around where. Petra, knowing this conversation isn't really going anywhere, asks Hange if she can have some privacy with Levi.

"You good to go?" Petra just leans up to place a kiss on his cheek to reassure him, smoothing away the worry lines between his brows.

"I'll be fine." She smiles. "It's not even a major mission. You'll see, everything will be as it is when I come back later today."

Levi was just settling down from the afternoon rush in the tea shop when Trost exploded.

There were only two customers left inside and he's not expecting more until the early evening. He didn't know he won't be expecting more for quite some time.

He was washing the dishes when he hears the commotion outside, a mix of civilians' screams and barked orders accompanied by a whoosh from what can only be an ODM gear. Both heading towards different directions.

Levi grabs a running man by the collar, "What the hell is happening?"

"Titans! Trost gate!" The man shoves him in a blind panic **and scrambles away. He didn't get far though and Levi could only watch as a hand that's almost his size pick him up. The next thing he hears are crunching sounds of what can only be the man's bones, then the screams go eerily silent.

A beat.

Then Levi finds himself staring back at gigantic, mindless eyes peeking through the shop's open door. He distinctly hears one of the customers give out a screech.

Fuck.

Levi's slanted eyes goes wide as he sees a titan for the first time. He'd only ever heard about them from Petra's stories and Hange's rambles.

Was this related to that lightning he heard earlier on? He wasn't outside but he had heard from some evacuees that came from Shiganshina five years ago say that that's how it all started.

Levi was able to roll away from the door last minute as the ugly bastard shoves a hand inside his tea shop, grabbing one of the panicking customers seated near the entrance.

He watches in horror as the man gets devoured, his blood splattering all over the store's windows. The remaining customer makes a run for it, and Levi already knows it's a stupid move the moment the woman stood up.

"Wait, stop!" Levi tries to warn. Another scream, and blood completely covers the shop window's visibility and the entrance to the tea shop.

"Levi, what is happening-" His mother comes down from the second floor and Levi makes a grab for her before she even lets out the scream bubbling in her throat.

Behind the bloodied window, he sees a silhouette of what can only be another titan, smaller than the one who ate his patrons, walking along the street outside the shop.

The front entrance is not an option now.

He tugs his mother to the back of their shop, not even bothering to grab any of their possessions. He kicks open a door leading to an alley that will lead them to the other side of the property, relieved that there's no titan in sight yet on this street.

As he runs along the pavement with his mother, he takes one last look at the place where they've lived for close to five years now. He'd worked so hard for this tea shop. In just one afternoon, he's losing it all.

It doesn't really matter now, he thinks. He can get pissed about it on a later day. But first, he needs to guarantee that 'later day' by evacuating.

"We're pulling out." The commander orders. Petra was currently wiping away her tears and wrapping the dead soldier in a white cloth to bring him back to the cart.

"Sir?" Eld asks, coming up behind Petra. "But we're not even halfway through the mission."

"A swarm of titans started moving north, towards the city." Erwin informs them and Petra freezes. "This is just like what happened five years ago. It's possible that the wall has been destroyed."

City. Trost.

Levi.

She feels Oluo and Gunther's eyes on her, already knowing what her train of thought is.

Petra didn't waste time in running to her horse, anxious to get back.

They were so close. His mother had the energy to run for a few blocks, but they were at a disadvantage because they lived near the gate entrance. They won't be able to make it without some form of transportation, and it's not like he can just find a fucking horse in this city.

He does recall seeing a stable somewhere in the street they're currently in when he passed by a few months back. One horse would be more than enough.

In his mother's exhaustion, she slipped.

That single mishap alone was enough for a 15-meter titan to catch up and grab a hold of her leg.

"Levi, just go!" she screams, dangling upside down but still putting up a fight. She continues to beg him to leave, to just let her go since she'd been good as dead in the past few years anyway.

And something surges inside him as he hears his mother's desperate plea to save himself.

He can't. He won't.

He spent all his years making sure that his mother gets to live a long and happy life to compensate for all the shit she went through in the Underground. For Maria's sake, he opened a goddamn tea shop just so he can earn better to fund her medical bills. He'd rather die than leave her alone at this moment.

Save her, you dimwit.

He freezes. Electrified.

Hands still, mind calm, eyes zeroing in on a half-eaten body of a soldier just three houses away.

Suddenly, Levi is just sure of his next move.

He jolts into action, making a run for it, but he didn't bother to unfasten the gear. He doesn't know how to maneuver it anyway.

Instead, he unsheathes the blades and using all the energy that he'd never experienced before, charges back to cut through an ankle of the huge bastard while it's distracted. Satisfaction floods him as he hears the tearing sound of flesh.

It didn't slice the whole foot off, but the damage was more than enough to catch the titan off-guard.

He growls in exertion as he takes advantage of the momentum from when he threw his body into slicing the first foot by sliding across the brick pavement. He pivots his upper body, delivering another slash through the other ankle, and it finally releases his mother as the titan goes off-balance and falls to its front. Hearing his mom gasp in pain as her body hits the ground only makes Levi fume in fury even more.

Pushing himself one last time, hands almost red and bleeding at how tightly he's holding on to the the blades' grip, he hoists himself up the fallen titan using its hair. The mindless beast did put up some fight, trying to get a hold of him in a blind attempt to just devour but Levi was faster, sloppily chopping off the hand that tried to grab him.

He's furious and he's going to kill this titan for even touching his mother.

"You cut their nape," he recalls Petra saying as she playfully taps on the back of his head. "That's the only way or they'll just regenerate."

He throws all his strength into slicing the nape, and the monster gives one final screech. A sense of calmness hits Levi the same time the titan's blood splatters on his face.

While it wasn't a clean cut, it did kill the son of a bitch and that's good enough for him.

He was kneeling on the street and panting in outrage and adrenaline, the titan's blood grotesquely masking his forehead and dripping down towards his chin, when she found him.

"Levi!"

Petra.

He was finally snapped out of his furious daze as she runs to him. A few other veteran scouts and the commander was behind her, Erwin's eyes assessing the already evaporating corpse of the titan Levi killed. He sees one of her teammates—Gunther was his name, he recalls—helping his mother up.

Levi kicks himself. Why the fuck was he staring at the ground when he could've gone to his mom? Worried eyes quickly scans Kuchel to see if she was fine and he lets out a breath in relief when he's rest assured that there were only a few scratches and bruises from when she fell from the titan's grip.

He lets out a soft 'oof' when Petra tackles him in a hug, breath almost knocked out at how hard her arms were around him.

"You're alive." Petra cries, pulling his face down for a desperate kiss and not even caring about all the blood. He kisses her back with the same fervor.

"Welcome back." He croaks out, letting Petra cling on to him.

"A civilian killed a titan. Alone." Erwin starts. "This is a first."

It was a day after the attack on Trost and Petra has never seen the Scouts this busy. Her squad in particular will be in a lot of pressure in the coming weeks, remembering the titan boy that they need to get under their custody fast.

Petra, however, was called in privately to the commander's office. She learns quickly that while the scouts have their eyes set on Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman was in their peripheral.

"What do you know about your fiance, Petra?"

A lot and none at the same time.

Even Levi doesn't seem to also know what's happening. As far as she knows, he'd never fought since his uncle forced him to learn when he was younger. He'd never even killed someone. She'd only seen his violent tendencies once when a man spat at her coming home from an expedition. Levi saw it all and punched the guy hard enough for him to lose all his teeth.

Needless to say, Levi had been confused at what just happened. Kuchel was as clueless.

"He's a tea shop owner in Trost, commander." Petra answers instead. "Levi told me that he was trained by his uncle before, but I tried looking it up. There was never an Ackerman in the Scouts."

Erwin nods, eyes settling on a contemplative look.

"Do you know more about their clan?"

"Sir?"

"The Ackerman clan. I've heard that they were once a noble family tasked to protect the crown. But I never understood why the Ackermans specifically."

"Sir, are you saying that Levi..."

"Is from the same line? Yes." Erwin verifies. "And I have reason to believe that his lineage is the reason why he's capable of such strength."

Petra's eyes narrows. In all her years under the Special Operations Squad, she'd personally worked close with both Commander Erwin and Squad Leaders Hange and Mike. Each scout has their own tick of madness, and they all have her respect, loyalty and admiration for that. They wouldn't have survived or gone this far if they're not at least banged up in the head. Even Petra admits that she often lacks a sense of self-preservation while on the battlefield.

But Commander Erwin. He's on another level. She'd witnessed him gamble the lives of others for a mission, and try as she might to save each and every one of them, she had to face the brutal reality that death and sacrifice is necessary.

She knows this look on her commander's eyes and alarm bells start to ring in her mind.

"My fiance is not going to be your pawn, Commander Erwin." She says defiantly, holding Erwin's gaze. "Or Squad Leader Hange's next experiment."

"I'm not saying that he is, Petra."

Why does she feels that he's telling the truth and not at the same time?

Levi watches as Petra twirls in front of the mirror. It's been almost a month since he last saw her, the titan brat keeping her, her squad, and the whole Scout Regiment all on their toes.

They've written each other almost everyday. Her with updates on how they're all handling Eren. She expressed concern that the poor boy had to be chained down for days before his hearing. The Special Operations Squad also had to prove that they can handle the boy and Petra didn't want to participate in that display, having no choice but to watch Oluo and Eld beat down the kid.

She wrote about the training of the newly-graduated cadets, the 104th, and how her team in particular had been training with a new, younger team member. Who is also a titan shifter.

From Petra's letters alone, Levi got the impression that she seems to be training for motherhood with how she's coddling the titan brat.

'He's such a sweet, young boy!' she wrote. 'Well, not always. He's sometimes jumpy and kept talking about how he'll kill all the titans. I asked him and his friends to come with me to visit your tea shop once it's fully renovated.'

'Is this your way of telling me you want a brat of your own?', he wrote back.

He, on the other hand, wrote more about how the tea shop is being renovated and the wedding preparations he'd accomplished on his side.

Since the scouts were given a day off before tomorrow's mission, Petra decided to spend her break wrapping up a few things for their wedding. The scouts have already stationed themselves in Karanes where they'll be launching the mission an hour past sunrise the next day.

He meets her halfway, traveling to Karanes with his mother where they will both be staying for a week. He and Petra agreed to get hitched in her hometown the day after she returns from the expedition, and he's grateful that there's not a lot of preparations needed since they both wanted a simple, straightforward wedding with just their family and her closest friends from the scouts.

He'd never seen the wedding dress before, only hearing from his fiance that she wanted a mermaid-style gown. Fuck knows what that meant but looking at her now, he'd be willing to praise and say thanks to the gods for his wife's fashion sense.

It hugged every bit of her, and he thinks he's going to die just looking at the dress' v-neckline. Decent enough to tease but daring enough to hug and frame her cleavage just right. His throat goes dry when he sees that her back is completely exposed all the way halfway through, and his eyes traces the scars littered all over her toned cream skin.

"What are you doing here!" She gasps upon seeing him. "It's bad luck for a groom to see his bride in a wedding dress before the actual wedding, you know."

He rolls his eyes. "You don't really believe that bullshit."

"Hmmm. Maybe I do." Petra scans the area to see if the sales lady is within close distance. Seeing that the woman is catering to other brides-to-be, she then smirks, hands moving to start sliding down the strap. "I should get out of this then."

Catching on to what his fiance have in mind, Levi takes that moment to push her back inside one of the dressing room stalls.

"No, keep it on." He said as he hurriedly locks the door and pushes the lace and silk fabric of her skirt up her thighs. She trails kisses down the sharp line of his jaw as Petra unbuckles his pants with the same urgency, sighing as he backs her up the mirror and finally slides inside her.

They continued their lovemaking in the dressing room to her parents' house that night. Petra insisted that Levi and his mother can stay in her childhood home to lessen the expense. Her parents were all too eager to welcome Kuchel into the Rals' guest bedroom, but her father was less so when Petra dragged Levi to unpack and stay with her in her childhood bedroom.

"I can't believe it. Just two days left until I'm Mrs. Petra Ackerman." Petra gushes, cheeks still rosy in their afterglow. She rolls over to place her whole body on top of his, her chin resting on his bare chest. "Now's the perfect time to back out if you don't want to get more heart attacks before every expedition, you know?"

"Petra, you're fucking crazy." He scoffs, a contrast to the soft way he's tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear before he flicks her forehead, earning him a light playful slap on his bicep from the woman. "You'd still give me a heart attack every day even if you weren't a scout."

Petra hums, cuddling closer to him. "I do like it whenever you coddle me before every expedition."

"Come to think of it, how many expeditions have there been?"

"Tomorrow's the 57th," she replies.

"That looks dashing on you, son." Mr. Ral's voice pipes up from the door. Due to his and Petra's busy lives, his tux fitting was also moved to the last minute. He opted to rent one in Karanes instead of buying since they'll be getting married in this district anyway.

He went for a midnight black suit and slacks, but exchanged the tie with a white cravat. He has an inner white button-down shirt made from the same material as the cravat.

"Petra hasn't seen it," he remarks absently as Petra's father helps him with buttoning the cuffs.

"You can always ask her opinion when she comes back this afternoon."

"Yeah..." Levi replies. He doesn't understand why his voice wavered.

When the scouts returned, everyone watches in horror as only a little more than half were able to make it back. Petra's father was also in the crowd, and Levi recalls the man telling him that he wanted to experience what it's like welcoming back his daughter since this was the first time they launched an expedition from Karanese.

He first sees Eren Yeager. The brat was lying down and crying on a medical cart after taking a quick look around.

He sees the commander, eyes dark and dead as he marches quietly along with his soldiers.

He sees Hange and Mike, both quiet, and even Levi feels disturbed that Hange isn't their usual effervescent self.

All the new recruits look like the innocence and vigor that came with being a fresh graduate from the cadets had been zapped out of them.

This sight isn't new. In the past two years that he'd been welcoming Petra back, he'd gotten used to such a somber scene.

But what's different now is that he can't find Petra anywhere.

Levi then gets a sinking feeling—the same one he felt the first time Petra came back with a major injury—but this time it hits differently.

He scans the sea of green capes, death and defeat emanating in the air. His eyes desperately, hopelessly, looking for a flash of ginger hair.

He doesn't see a single one of her squadmates.

The strongest team in the whole regiment.

Cold despair grips him by the throat as he stays and watches until the last soldier trudged past the crowd.

His fingers subconsciously graze the pocket holding the wedding bands he just picked up an hour ago.

"There," Petra said, slipping on the ring on him to see if it suits him. She opted for a plain, thin white-gold pair of rings so that it wouldn't get much in the way when she's fighting with her ODM gear. "Now those women who look at you at the tea shop will know you're taken."

"What women? Only one ginger kept coming back," he teased back, looking at the ring. It was almost a perfect fit, but they both agreed that some adjustments are still needed. "You should've just told me you wanted to fuck me, Petra."

He'd have to return it then.

Later that evening, Levi stares back at Hange, his face numb and eyes dead, as they deliver to him and Petra's parents the news that they were all already aware of.

But now, he also learns that he didn't even have a body to bury.

After learning that the scouts and Erwin would be called to the capital after the failed 57th expedition, Levi didn't waste time in barging into the commander's office a few hours before they depart.

He'd have to give himself a pat on the back later with how he was able to get past the other soldiers. It was almost too easy, he thinks as he sharply shoves Mike away with his shoulder and glares murderously at Hange when they started to approach him to calm down.

"This is your fault." Levi spat at Erwin, finding the blonde bastard writing something down in his office table.

Erwin looks up and levels his gaze with his, not even flinching. Not even when he sees a glint of a knife in Levi's right hand.

"Petr-" He closes his eyes in pain, not even able to say her name without the urge to break down at every moment. "She said that they weren't given all the details."

"The mission was delicate and risky to begin with." Erwin said. His voice was nonchalant, but Levi notices that the bags under the man's eyes have never been as dark before as it is now.

"And of course she was loyal enough to trust a fucking commander who didn't give a damn about gambling his soldiers' lives, huh?"

"Ral knew the risks when she signed up for the scouts," Erwin replies to the grieving man before him. "Face it, Mr. Ackerman. We would've found ourselves in this situation one way or another. Even after you've married her. Even if both of you decide to start a family."

And he knows that. He knew since the moment he proposed that Petra would've always chosen the Scouts' mission over him.

Probably even over the family that they would've had.

The determination he used to see everyday in her amber eyes, the passionate and animated way she'd talk about an upcoming mission—these were some of the reasons why he fell for her in the first place. Petra truly wanted a world without titans, and it wasn't just for him or for her family.

It doesn't mean losing her had hurt any less.

Firming his resolve, he meets Erwin's neutral gaze again, and he reveals the other reason why he's in his office right now.

"Mom." Levi freezes, one arm already in the sleeve of the orange military jacket issued to him recently. "Erwin said he'd make an exception because of the Ackerman bullshit everyone seems hyped about."

"I won't stop you, you know." She said when she hears the slight hesitation in his voice. Relief flashes through his eyes at her words. "I knew you've always wondered about joining the military." Kuchel said, stepping closer inside the room.

"And I know why you've always hesitated, Levi. I'm sorry."

It wasn't a dream of his, not by a long shot, but she saw the curiosity sparkle in her son's eyes the first time he'd seen the scouts leave the gate when he was nine years old. Just a year since they were lifted from the Underground. Kuchel believes that little Levi felt a bit of wonder that someone was fighting for humanity to go beyond the world they only know—something that hit a bit close to home for a boy who grew up in the constricts of the Underground.

He never talked about it or even acknowledged it. She thinks even he doesn't realize it, but as his mother, she knows.

Levi had buried that curiosity over the years, but seeing Petra leave for expeditions rekindled the desire. She knows that what made him consider again is that at least he'd be there with Petra to protect her.

"You don't have to apologize." Levi replies as he completely shrugs on the jacket. "I don't regret spending most of my years taking care of you."

"But you could've joined younger. Built yourself a better military career earlier." Kuchel continues, smiling sadly at him as she grabs the green scout cape from the hanger and placing it around him.

A flash of deja vu hits her as she was taken back to when she was nudging little 4-year-old Levi's arms into a shirt before she entertained another client back in the Underground. Almost three decades later and her heart still feels full as Levi leans down a bit, allowing her to help him fix his outfit.

"Mom, the Ackermans." Levi finally approaches the subject after a quiet moment between mother and son. This is the first time they talked about it, and she knows that his hesitance was due to his belief that it might cause her unnecessary stress. "What are we?"

"I've never known, Levi. I think your uncle knows something but..." Kuchel shakes her head, not really wanting to remember the last time she saw Kenny. "I have experienced the persecution growing up. That's why I ran down to the Underground when Kenny and I split ways."

Kuchel pats her son's shoulder after she's done pinning the green cape on. She allows the silence to take over the room, and she takes this moment to see her son in full military uniform.

"But I'm sure of one thing, Levi." Kuchel reaches up once again and Levi, her sweet boy, allows himself to be tugged a bit down so his mother can place a kiss on his forehead. "Petra would be so proud of you."

Levi cracks at her words. He lets out a single sob as his forehead rests on her shoulder, her own arms craddling his head.

He never got the chance to mourn Petra's death like this. He was either angry, throwing himself in whichever task he can get a hold of, or just quiet as he always was.

Often times, Levi would still continue his routine as if Petra is still alive—still creating the cup of chai tea she prefers or washing the clothes Petra left behind in her son's room—only to end the day in crippling disappointment at the realization that his fiance is never going to enter the shop's door ever again.

As Levi's mother, she knows that he needs this to finally accept Petra's death.

Levi Ackerman never cried, not even when Kenny left or when he learned that an illness is hacking away every minute of his mother's life. It didn't surprise Kuchel that Petra is the first one he would actually shed tears for.

"That was Petra Ral's boyfriend right?"

"Her fiance, actually." Another one whispers. "They were supposed to get married the day after the 57th expedition."

One of the veterans gasps. "That's just sad."

He and Petra never got the chance to tie the knot but hearing the other scouts talk like that makes him feel like a widower. He had half the mind to stomp over and slap the living shit out of them but he's training right now, and fully integrating himself in the Survey Corps is the priority.

"I can do it. I've been trained growing up." Levi said, steely voice directed towards the blonde bastard in front of him. If he has to do it from the ground up and join the cadets, then so be it. "You know what happened in Trost. I can kill them."

Something flashes in the commander's face, and Erwin meets Levi's seething look with calculating eyes. Asshole.

"Let's talk more about this when I come back from Mitras, Mr. Ackerman."

He finds that the ODM gear was quite easy to maneuver, and using him makes him think that this must be what it's like to fly. While he still needs some practice with the equipment for it to feel like it's an extension of his body, using the blades almost feels like second nature to Levi.

Shame. He really would've enjoyed cutting that bitch Annie Leonhart up.

But Erwin didn't allow him to join that mission in Stohess yet. Instead, Levi stayed behind and started training that same afternoon.

Frankly, he doesn't even know what kind of position he holds right now in the military. Hange describes him as the 'wildcard'. He'd had no training but he was still able to kill more titans than the average soldier in a single mission when they faced off Reiner and Bertholdt.

He and Petra would've worked so well on the battlefield together.

Levi destroys the whole dummy titan as he delivers a slice on the nape area, his thoughts adding more force to the hit.

Even now, during training, he yearns for her. He knows he will continue to do so, especially since being a scout means wearing the green cloak he got so used to seeing on her whenever he welcomes her back. It only reminds him of what he'd lost.

He needs this. If he can't marry her, he'd at least try to commit himself to the cause she devoted herself to. He wants Petra's death to mean something.

He'd make sure of it.