Work Text:
Sukuna’s fingers on his neck hurt, constricting his throat from any air, leaving finger shaped bruises on his neck. Sickly purples, blues, and yellows started to blossom as his hand tightened, a sadistic smile coming to his face. He lost interest, dropping Yuuji back into the blood stained red sea, coughing and gasping for air as his fingernails clawed at his throat.
Yuuji didn’t understand. Why did Sukuna hate him so much? It was obvious he hated everyone, but he just seemed so bothered with Yuuji’s existence. Maybe because he was his vessel, a vessel which the king couldn’t control. Or because he ignores him sometimes, though Yuuji doubts Sukuna would even care if he was being ignored by a human.
Or maybe because he was weak.
“Jackpot. You aren’t as dense as you seem, brat.”
“I thought you couldn’t hear my thoughts?” Yuuji’s voice was scratchy, and he regretted talking out loud.
“Sometimes they spill over. You better shut the fuck up before I rip your heart out again. I said to entertain me because I was bored. Not inform me with your pathetic human emotions and thoughts.”
He couldn’t really help it. He felt split in two ever since the last mission. Yuuji’s efforts weren’t recognised. And he knows it’s something childish to be upset about (it’s not), but he just couldn’t help and grow jealous of his teammates. Especially Megumi. Sukuna noticed him. Sukuna seemed to tolerate him.
But why not Yuuji? He was his vessel, the only person who could tolerate his power and have control over his body after consuming one of Sukuna’s fingers. His stomach churned anytime Sukuna grinned whenever he saw Megumi doing well in a battle. Yuuji knew he was planning something, and he was worried for his friend. But he was also so envious.
And Yuuji yearned for praise all his life. His grandfather didn’t take much care of him. Yuuji loved him, but his grandfather just didn’t fulfill his duty in comforting his grandson. His friends complimented him, but humbled him as well. To the point where compliments barely had a positive effect on him as humbling comments were spilled on him.
So when he saw Sukuna, king of curses, grinning wildly at the sight of Megumi in action. He just couldn’t help and feel jealous.
“Hey, Yuuji.”
Yuuji’s head snapped up, locking eyes with Sukuna. Those deep red murderous eyes. And he smiled. Sukuna had used his name. His smile faltered, this is wrong. He shouldn’t feel glad at being noticed by someone like Sukuna. But, Yuuji would take what he could get. And Sukuna stepped behind him, one hand petting his head and the other hugging his chest.
“What’s wrong, Yuuji?”
Yuuji’s mouth went dry. He was being appreciated. He thinks so, at least. He’s not very sure what it’s like to be appreciated, or cared for. He hasn’t a clue of when someone is healthy for him. After all, he’s just a tool for the Jujutsu Sorcerers. And once he consumes the 20 fingers, he’s to be executed, off the face of this Earth. He’s treated like a tool most of the time, talked about like one, referred as one.
“I’m just-” Confused? Jealous?
“Hm? Go on.”
“Troubled. I think I’m troubled.”
“You like Megumi, don’t you? Platonically, I mean.”
“Yes.” He came to a realization, he’s never been in Sukuna’s unnate domain for so long. He’s never talked to him for so long, and that giddy feeling came back as a smile appeared.
“Then why have you acted so weird around him lately?”
Because he’s jealous. Because Megumi is always noticed. Always moving forward and learning new things. And Yuuji couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch. Gojo had warned him about staying for too long with Sukuna. And as much as he loved the sweet touches and caring pets (ignoring the tightening grip on his side and occasional purposeful pull on his hair), he had to come back to his senses.
“It’s not your business.”
Sukuna dropped his act, kicking Yuuji down from his back and onto the shore of the deep red sea. Wetting the now dry stained clothes once again. He grabbed the boy’s neck, smiling at his writhing and choking.
“Hey, Yuuji . Ever wonder why Megumi has caught my interest?”
God, when did he not wonder that?
“Because he’s not easy like you. He’s strong.”
And he plunged Yuuji underwater, drowning him and laughing as the other clawed at his hand trying to free himself.
Yuuji woke up with a gasp, coughing as he folded into himself, gripping the blankets so hard his knuckles turned white. Tears of frustration welled in his eyes. He’d done it again. How could he be so desperate for affection? He’d throw himself around like some type of whore, seeking affection in anyone. Even Sukuna.
Throwing the covers off his legs, he stood up and walked to the kitchen, filling a glass of water before gulping it down. And he cried. He slid down the cupboard, grasping at his hair as small gasps of pain left his mouth. A sob tore through his throat, his eyes widened, covering his mouth with his hand as he tried to listen to any signs of Megumi waking up. Some moments passed, no signs of movement, Yuuji brought his hand down, crying silently.
“You’re so fucking messy. I’m ashamed of having a vessel like you.”
Yuuji slapped his cheek, harder than necessary, but didn’t care. The mouth under his eye was gone. And he could enjoy the silence once again. Though he couldn’t help but think of what Sukuna had said. He thought he had grown stronger. He thought he’d make people look good if he was strong. But he was weak, and the thought alone made him gag.
“You don’t really mean that. I’m your vessel after all.”
He’d probably be better off dead. Megumi always kept his distance from him, he probably embarrassed the raven haired boy. Nobara called him disgusting and unsanitary, something less for her to worry about. Gojo wouldn’t have to stick his neck out and delay Yuuji’s execution. His death would be a weight off of everyone’s shoulders.
“You wouldn’t do it, and you know it.”
Sukuna had a point. Yuuji would do it, he’d hesitate, but he’d do it. If only he wasn’t Sukuna’s vessel. Yuuji has a duty to fulfill. That’s the only thing holding him back, really. His friendships and such too but, lately they haven’t done much of an impact in his life. Everything feels neutral lately.
“Brat, I’m bored. Go beat someone up or something.”
Yuuji ignored Sukuna. Sticking his fingers in the mouth at his other cheek harshly, not expecting it’d affect him as well. He gagged, standing up quickly and leaning over the sink, nothing coming out. He slumped back down, feeling exhausted and defeated, sleep overcoming him.
“Don’t you ever fucking do that again. You’re only off the hook because that technically isn’t my mouth.”
“I swear I’m going to kill you. I’m going to eat all 20 of your fingers and then we can both fucking die.”
Yuuji didn’t mean that. At least not fully. He wants Sukuna gone. But he also wants the curse with him. The curse is just...in a bad mood today. Yuuji can take it. Yet he stood up with a grunt, and picked the knife from the drawer, lowering to the ground one last time.
“What’re you doing with that knife? You know you can’t die, I’ll just take control and heal you. But not before killing some people. You’re actually idiotic sometimes.”
“Open that mouth again and I swear I’ll cut the tongue off.”
“Who do you think you’re talking t-”
Socked feet appeared in front of him, the person in front crouching to Yuuji’s eye level. Megumi. And suddenly Yuuji realized how fucking crazy he must look right now. Watery eyes, red face, bruises in his neck, deep eyes bags, and knife in hand. Megumi seemed to agree, though he kept his usual stoic expression, he couldn’t hide the slight furrow of his thin brows.
His long fingers reached out to Yuuji slowly, the boy flinching back on instinct. His movements halted before continuing, warm hands grabbing Yuuji’s, prying the knife out of his grip. And he let him, he let his hand loosen around the handle, Megumi took the knife, looking back before sliding it across the floor behind him.
“What a mess.” It came out meaner than Megumi intended, Yuuji confirming by wincing at the chosen words.
“You’re so fucking messy. I’m ashamed of having a vessel like you.”
“Are you hurt anywhere, Yuuji? Is everything okay?”
“I’m,” he didn’t know. Is he okay? Everything felt so blurry. Yuuji swallowed thickly before answering, “I’m good. Just Sukuna being loud. Had to threaten him.”
Megumi didn’t seem convinced, lips pressed in a thin line, standing up and helping Yuuji to his feet. Guiding the teen to his bed before coaxing him to lean on the bed frame, getting him to drink the untouched glass of water at his bedside.
“You do know that he’s not healthy for you? Sukuna’s full of lies and manipulation.”
Yuuji looked away, gripping the glass tighter. Megumi noticed, taking it from his hands, knowing Yuuji is capable of breaking it. He also noticed the hand-shaped bruise in the other’s neck now that it was exposed. Megumi’s stomach twisted and his face turned into a grimace.
“Yuuji.”
The teen flinched, curling into himself and closing his eyes.
“You do know I’m here for you, right? Sukuna’s not good for you. You know it deep down. Stop lying to yourself. If you need support, we’re here for you. Gojo, Nobara, Panda, and the others. I’m here for you. You need to stop believing him. He’s using you.”
“No he’s not.”
“Yes he is. You’re not even yourself anymore. Where’d you get that bruise from? If he cared, why would he hurt you like that?”
“Because I was rude-”
“And that’s not healthy Yuuji!” Megumi stood up suddenly, hands finding purchase at his hair in exasperation. “I’d get it if he got angry, but he can’t go around bruising you because you defied him once. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“He always asks me what’s on my mind.”
“And then he hurts you! He tricks you into trusting him and then hurts you and does it again and again. And it’s just not okay .”
“But he-”
Megumi loses his patience, repeating himself. “Just tell me what’s wrong! Whatever he’s doing is worsening you. Sukuna is a liar and you know and you need to stop fucking lying to yourse-”
“I’m fucking jealous, okay?! I’m so jealous of you. You keep growing and growing and I just can’t fucking catch up. You always get appreciated, Gojo always notices you. The others always notice you. Even fucking Sukuna caught interest in you. Am I just weak? I don’t get it. It doesn’t add up. I thought if I got strong I’d have control. Of my own death and many things but it’s just not working out and I justdon’tknowwhattodo .”
The sickening feeling in his stomach tightened, tighter, tighter. Until it split in two and Yuuji couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over his cheeks. He hiccuped, hiding his face with the blanket. He must look so weak right now. Weaker than he already is. He hates it. God he fucking hated it. He hates it here. Hates it so much, hate, hate, hatehatehate-
Why is Sukuna so loud in his head, can’t he just be quiet for one second. All Yuuji wants is some comfort and Sukuna makes it impossible because Yuuji belongs to Sukuna. Sukuna feeds Yuuji with lies and meaningless gestures and pets and Yuuji just takes it because it’s the best he’ll ever get.
But now Sukuna is being mean to him. What did Yuuji do wrong? He hears Megumi say something, but Yuuji can’t hear him well. His head’s filled with cotton as he can only hear Sukuna’s hurtful and viceful comments. He brings his hand up to his head, hitting harshly trying to get Sukuna to just be quiet for once. He repeats that action a couple of times before Megumi’s strong hand grasps firmly at his wrist.
“Hey, hey don’t do that. Hit my chest if you want to. Do you want me to bring someone here?”
Megumi was unsure of what to do. He isn’t the type to comfort others. Though he never got much of a response, other than Yuuji shaking his head no. All he could do was hug Yuuji as the teen hit his chest with such force it’ll most probably bruise. It hurt more than expected, the fact that Yuuji already had impressive strength was dismissed briefly, he was painfully reminded of it. But he’ll take it as long as Yuuji doesn’t do anything else to himself.
Eventually, his hitting started to subside (Megumi was grateful, he was barely keeping it together), Yuuji slumping on Megumi’s frame, sleep winning him over. Megumi let out a breath in relief, swallowing down the knot in his throat, laying down Yuuji gently on the bed and pulling the covers on him.
He stood up, stealing one last glance at the teen. Smiling softly seeing him so at peace. With a sigh, he stepped out the room, closing the door carefully with a clack. It was over. Megumi felt a dull ache at his chest, and he breathed with slight discomfort. Though he felt relieved, taking his phone out of his pocket before dialing a number. That had been one of Yuuji’s worst meltdowns he had witnessed. The person on the other line picked up.
“Ah, Megumi! How sweet of you to call me, didn’t really think you’d take the offer of ‘hitting me up anytime’ seriously haha.”
Megumi definitely didn’t miss Gojo’s playful tone at all.
“Gojo, I actually have something serious to talk about.”
“My, my. What’s wrong?”
“It’s Yuuji.”